New Reddit Stories - We may have fecked up & Living Furnace |Humans Are Space Orcs | TFOS1228

Original Story :
/ we_may_have_fucked_up
/ living_furnace
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{TimeStamps}
00:00 Intro
00:20 We may have fecked up
07:22 Living Furnace
#ScienceFiction #RedditStories #Human
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Podcast is Called : ASN Humans Are Space Orcs , HFY and other stories
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This Story is Classified as HFY , but what does the Mean?
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HFY is a story/series that takes a “human element” in either humanity or an “other” (race/species or object) that exists in a “setting” (future or other world/universe) with varying levels of culture, technology, society and history that help show in some shape or form the potential good or bad for humanity’s race/culture.
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Taken from the FAQ of the r/HFY subreddit.
This is also a Science Fiction story ,What is Science Fiction?
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Science fiction (sometimes shortened o sci-fi or SF) is a genre of speculative fiction that typically deals with imaginative and futuristic concepts such as advanced science and technology, space exploration, time travel, parallel universes, and extraterrestrial life. It has been called the "literature of ideas", and often explores the potential consequences of scientific, social, and technological innovations.
Science fiction, whose roots go back to ancient times, is related to fantasy, horror, and superhero fiction, and contains many subgenres. However its exact definition has long been disputed among authors, critics, and scholars.
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Taken from Wikipedia
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[@AgroSquerril]

KZbincreator.inititate(nagging) = true . 1) New design dropped on the merch store today - asn-3.creator-spring.com/listing/haso-space-thicc-babe-rip 2) Almost at 300 daily listeners on the podcast (Audio version on this channel) , Should be on most major podcast platforms , search for ASN Humans Are Space Orcs , HFY and other stories. Hope to see you there. 3) There is a second channel where sometimes stuff happens - kzbin.info/door/RHNRQzUFHL9OfUtKtzX_wA 4) Twitter was a major help with getting KZbin's attention with the last problem so if possible throw a follow on me twitter.com/agrosquerrils or @agrosquerrils 5) and most important , enjoy the content. Hope you have a fantastic one .

[@Stookinator]

ey im the first reply even tho it has been a year

[@kurtismiller9544]

Why, WHY would you be SO dense as to send a reptile to an Ice planet?!?!?

[@aj_the_infamous1013]

lack of brain cell, one too many drinks, drugs?

[@eleethtahgra7182]

Not enough personel.

[@andrewgause6971]

In fairness, he did have an environmental suit designed to solve the problem. They probably failed to anticipate the equipment failure. Which is its own set of worries.

[@muninrob]

Because you send what you've got, not what you want - and because you're dealing with numbers, not people.

[@RomanvonUngernSternbergnrmfvus]

@@aj_the_infamous1013 I doubt a human decided this so that rules most of those things out . . .

[@dantreadwell7421]

DUDE!! YOU DO NOT WANT HUMANS PLAYING AROUND IN THE WARP!!! Too late, newest Chaos God is. . . Terra.

[@eleethtahgra7182]

Dispatch the grey knight, asap.

[@krel7160]

@@eleethtahgra7182 It is too late, brother. The Grey Knight is a servant to Terra's will. And Terra, is...

[@theenderdestruction2362]

@@krel7160 humanity and it's main mission is now to eradicate the other chaos gods so the other species may live in peace and it may sleep cause tired

[@ShiroNekoDen]

She is female and gets into slapfights with slaneesh on who is the prettier chaos goddess.

[@ShiroNekoDen]

@@theenderdestruction2362 something horrific happens every woman's period syncs up and men are slowly turning into females turning us into a majority female hive mind and Terra's cyclically gets PMS and either fucks or kills a chaos god for annoying her or both she births a whole new human pantheon

[@samueltrusik3251]

First story: WE ARE ONE WE ARE ALL OUR UNITY CANNOT BE DIVIDED Second story: Humans are H O T.

[@dantreadwell7421]

Damn, the Hindu were right. All are One, and One is Brahman.

[@firedirewolf]

Well, that dood shook hands with a deity and found out later lol, pretty substantial change to the very fabric of reality and may have cost everyone their self awareness to an extent... But even if we didn't, Google wouldn't have much use anymore as we'd be the search algorithms lol

[@xxXXRAPXXxx]

@@firedirewolf SOoooooo we all would have instant connection to hentai? WE NEED TO HARNESS THIS POWER RIGHT NOW!!

[@firedirewolf]

@@xxXXRAPXXxx i wouldn't have thought of that... though technically, everyone was attached TO hentai so i mean, if your neighbor was doing something terrible, you'd probably now FEEL it, and since it is a semi hive mind with thousands of personalities attached to it, it probably has a lot of cancer like that making you feel quite sick or those who are squimish to hentai make you feel sick even if you are fine. in short, it would be good but there are faults to every divine issue, the pursuit of perfection is never complete, even if you think it is, there is always more to a concept of perfection that you just couldn't conceive, blistering issues are probably one of humanities greatest assets though as we are so discontent with everything that we strive for that perfection and fight other's versions of it to create better ones for ourselves... may chaos guide us to be better than before x3

[@norrasmedjegatan]

If Samuel doesn't tell me what happened I do not understand. Please sur, continue!

[@junigearx7452]

The first story is like the connected subconscious that almost all ancient people talked about. It's called the akashic record, the perfect being.

[@GrimpakTheMook]

Ah yes, the akashic record, the everything of past, present, future, and everything in between.

[@MrJay_White]

"i am legion for we are one" or however it goes.

[@soffren]

Damn, Carl Jung was right

[@AzureKaizen]

The Library of Infinite Intelligence. Our supposed connection to God. Hidden in the depths of each and every human mind. Pretty awesome to hear a story talking about something like it.

[@ShiroNekoDen]

Collective unconscious lol don't worry aliens you helped us you freed us.

[@matthewklestinski7030]

1: Futz around with Humans, until you find the "On" switch. 2. Bet they'll hire some Russians, yes?

[@TarsonTalon]

*'Moskau' INTENSIFIES

[@zyanidwarfare5634]

Russians, Canadians, any kind of norsemen or Swedes

[@alonenotlonely1179]

@@zyanidwarfare5634 Scottish people as well (we are a hardy folk).

[@Maddog3060]

Finns, given what they did to puny Russians in the Winter War.

[@zyanidwarfare5634]

@@Maddog3060 them too, imagine some badass winter planet like the one in the story but it’s a war story instead, it would be the white death all over again

[@taitano12]

So, now that they went and woke us up, the question is... Are we a benevolent Or malevolent Eldritch Horror?

[@AgroSquerril]

true

[@79bigcat]

Isn't the point of eldritch horrors that they're ambivalent and incomprehensible?

[@matthewklestinski7030]

"Yes"

[@taitano12]

@@79bigcat Just because we're confused, confusing, unpredictable, weird, and somehow both statistical outliers and perfectly average in every way, doesn't mean we're malevolent or benevolent. Personally, I vote Chaotic Neutral. Yes, let's be the Chaotic Neutral Eldritch Horror. One minute we're inventing a game changer technology, the next minute we're prosecuting ourselves for warcrimes against a nonsentient piece of granite and forcing punitive reparations, and then we follow that up by gnawing on the furniture... Possibly doing all three at the same time. We are the newest ones on the galactic stage, after all. That makes us the toddlers of the Galaxy.

[@theenderdestruction2362]

@@taitano12 hehhehehehehehhHAHAHHAHHAHAHAAA

[@kennethhummel4409]

Ah yes, heat radiating/cooling. Makes humans kinda snuggly to some other creatures.

[@yourlocalfestivefurry354]

*Grabs your arm* hehe you're melting now

[@turbopokey]

Wait, you mean those snakes and lizards DON'T want to snuggle cuz they like me?!? Lol.

[@mannamoth918]

@@turbopokey the fact you still believe people like you is pretty inspiring

[@mannamoth918]

/jk

[@turbopokey]

@@mannamoth918 mine too. I just realized I forgot to lol afterward to indicate sarcasm/joke.

[@lloydkeith3061]

Silly xenos,... never send a lizard to do a jumped up monkeys job.

[@theenderdestruction2362]

Jumped up murder monkeys

[@jaycren6888]

I was waiting for the reveal that 1. Galanta now has a crush and 2. Adrick is into males or Galanta is actually female and Adrick wasn't aware of it. Either way the human gains a lizard snuggle buddy.

[@reikolupus136]

Even after we enter the Galactic Stage, employers remain the same. Sending people to their imminent death because it's a bit cheaper XD.

[@VolkAus]

Oh so the humans had magic but weren't plugged in.

[@AgroSquerril]

basically

[@Talon1124]

Have you tried turning the species off then on again?

[@ClokworkGremlin]

@@Talon1124 As it turns out, yes. It was a bad idea.

[@calvingreene90]

That second one sounds like your typical government agency in action.

[@BrazenBard]

Honestly, could be any HR department at least one or two steps removed from mere staff...

[@clockworkgamerguy]

7C = 44F, Longsleeve weather but not bad.

[@siliciaveerah9327]

yeah thats still shorts and tshirt weather

[@MrGoesBoom]

Listening to the second story....while it's 32 F / 0 C outside and here I am chilling in my unheated apartment in a pair of shorts.... -5 C is nothing to me. NOTHING! ( Though I will admit wind sucks, cold won't do much but wind just sucks the heat right outta ya )

[@Mglue3]

Your skin and skin hairs maintain a veeeery thin layer of air at body temp above the skin which acts as insulation so you can walk around a frozen house in your underwear and feel fine. Its still just air though and can be blown away. Which is why the wind feels worse than the cold/makes the cold worse.

[@ClokworkGremlin]

It's not coat temperatures until -20C at the warmest.

[@MalefAzelb]

Canadians/Russians wearing swimming gear in -20°C weather: *weaklings die. Big deal*

[@Kualinar]

-5°C... That's about the normal HIGH in January where I live.

[@zacharyhawley1693]

That is a possibility when the collective subconscious meets reality.

[@tedb.5707]

The Monster from the Id awakens. Dr. Morbius, call your office.

[@soffren]

Old divorced lady's with their crystal were prolly like: STONKS! TOLD YOU WE WERE PSYCHIC

[@thehalberdier4774]

Now that these reptiles know how comfortably warm he is, I suspect many hugs await him in the future.

[@jonathanbrightwell272]

"yeah I once served on a reptile ship. Every night one or two of them would curl up beside me. It was unnerving at first but I got used to the reppies presence. So much so that when I got back to earth I couldn't get a good night's sleep until I adopted an iguana. "

[@justsomejerseydevilwithint4606]

15:08 Yeah, at least send a trained dog or something! Seriously, dogs are GREAT Support animals for colder planets. More exothermic than humans, huskies _enjoy_ running around in subzero temperatures _fahrenheit,_ (-18 celsius or below), they can be trained to professional levels, they have far better hearing and smell than a human, to the point where they could probably be trained to diagnose some malfunctioning equipment or ill pheromone-heavy species, and they're fuzzy enough to be very cuddly. They're exothermic enough to help _humans_ survive extreme cold, pack animals so they work well in teams, naturally protective for harsh native life, take well to training, smart enough to use some image-communication-boards or other nonverbal signals, great sense of hearing, and naturally compassionate. Maybe a bit hard to understand or control without human help, but if only one human is available to explore a new and dangerous planet, and the human isn't allergic, send a few dogs. It'll even help with the human's social needs.

[@m.a.3864]

Wolves can survive well even in -40°C

[@calvingreene90]

Not too long ago a child was lost in the cold and a stray dog snuggled with the child for hours saving the child's life. I suspect the dog is no longer a stray.

[@RomanvonUngernSternbergnrmfvus]

@@calvingreene90 it better not or so help me.

[@J0hnB09]

@@m.a.3864 a mix of selective breeding and well controlled genetic engineering (this is a story set in the future) and we have dogs that survive far colder temperatures.

[@ChaoticTeen16]

I like the new format. Story summaries at the start, T5 Peeps at the end. Very efficient.

[@ICountFrom0]

The tier 5 peeps seem like good folks, hope none are lost over being moved to the end.

[@AgroSquerril]

Testing it out seeing how it plays

[@soffren]

I agree! Lets me appreciate the story more

[@Z4RD4N34]

@@AgroSquerril I still look at the acknowledgments.

[@paulhuston9991]

The crew "requested" yep they got more

[@jamescooper2825]

Awwww cute lizard people

[@maxxammax0]

Its litterly -1°C here and I'm standing outside in a t-shirt having a smoke at work. Im still hot, send me there lol.

[@Tempestan]

7c would be a freakin heat wave right now

[@BrazenBard]

-5C? Hah, I'm still wearing my kilt and a short-sleeved shirt. Granted, I also put on my wool coat for such temperature drops - though I don't close it. Poor reptilians just can't weather the climate...

[@geoshark12]

What are the odd the second story ends up with hunmans and the lizard folk getting along very well after these events , though i will say lizards of earth won’t die from that cold a temperature since desterts usually get to 4.4c every night and places like canada have lizards as well that are cold blooded

[@ckl9390]

Many cold blooded species actually survive freezing better than most warm blooded species, as they are adapted out of necessity to go into hibernation if they are caught out in the cold. With a little prep time many also make antifreeze so they can freeze "solid". The real danger is that they are helpless in that state to predation or any number of other hazards. Also, while their metabolism slows to an almost complete stop it doesn't cease entirely. So, there is also the possibility of starving to death if the hibernation lasts too long and they were low of reserves when plunged into it.

[@bobsterclause342]

Story one I think htat is kuat drive yards.A halo ring is one thing, but a disk around a planet is like kuat drive yards in star wars. It is a ship yard around a planet. Gues what it does. It is a factory and ship yard.

[@apoc35]

Kinda miss the old openings. Poor nanite swarms never get a mention anymore.

[@allenmorgan1007]

For the Algorithm, For the Author(s), For the Disembodied Voice!

[@AgroSquerril]

For the algorithm

[@Mustangofold]

Glad we have the "Caprica 7 of 9" bringing her Berretta Storms to the show again.

[@SkyboxMonster]

Reptilian cuddles. sounds nice

[@2ndbrain909]

I just hope their scales aren’t sharp or irritate the skin. If it was…..well cuddling would be a lot more painful.

[@SkyboxMonster]

@@2ndbrain909 #worthit

[@2ndbrain909]

@@SkyboxMonster I wish I could agree but I am thin skinned and have a fear of blood sooooo. If it was catgirls though or something fluffy, I'll cuddle all day.

[@ClokworkGremlin]

Watch out for salmonella. It's like a cold to birds and reptiles, but it'll kill us.

[@SkyboxMonster]

@@ClokworkGremlin im aware of reptile safety and handwashing/cleaning rules.

[@TheGelatinousSnake]

Everytime I hear “universe”, I get disappointed if the story does not include at least one more Galaxy. I mean we barely have 50+ galaxies in our Local Group of galaxies. Even if we explore some galaxies in our local group… thats nowhere near 1% of the visible universe.

[@WingManFang1]

When the Alien equivalent of Wingus and Dingus are in charge of an exploration mission to a hostile weather planet 😂

[@jonathanbrightwell272]

This made me genuinely laugh 🤣🤣 👍

[@eleethtahgra7182]

So, whats argonian doing in skyrim?

[@xxXXRAPXXxx]

Well someone needs to be lewd.

[@CanisMythson]

Technically speaking, argonians are not reptiles, they're their own subtype; the Hist made them warm blooded.

[@eleethtahgra7182]

@@xxXXRAPXXxx THe maid?

[@eleethtahgra7182]

@@CanisMythson Hmmm...thus...the mamalian characteristic.

[@xxXXRAPXXxx]

@@eleethtahgra7182 Lifts her Tail had a proper name.

[@zephire667]

That ice planet will be a perfect winter vacation and sport sport center.

[@bansheexii]

I like the first story because it's sort of a soft creepypasta in the making

[@liamrobertson9508]

The first one be like 3rd Impact but significantly less messed up

[@vinnyganzano1930]

My friend had reptiles as pets and during a powercut one winter he kept them cuddled up to him all wrapped in a thermal blanket.

[@td6647]

Well that was cold-blooded!😮

[@markuhler2664]

1st story twist: the 'awakened' talents is just humanity's social animal aspect. 2nd story: the strongest reflection of reality? It, being cheaper to send a sentient completely unable to survive, is what was decided.

[@angrydragonslayer]

Very neat

[@AgroSquerril]

:)

[@aretailcashier450]

7 degrees C is 44.6 degrees F

[@DEMONOFLOVEANDDEATH]

Bless the Squerril Bless the Author

[@FloatTheBuizel]

Ooo humans will be a very wanted species to snuggle with now

[@Kannn4164]

Quite ironic the lizard guy's species is called "fuar" because that's the word for "cold" or "chilly" in both Irish and Scottish Gaelic lol

[@WorldWalker128]

Why is that ironic? Seems fitting for a cold-blooded species, to me.

[@Amoth_oth_ras_shash]

hehe...second story have me imagen a alof command staff ,rolling ther eyes at the human a bit because 'protocol' before said human is covered in giant skinks and other lizard like cold blooded creatures hissing at them and making it clear if not more walking bio furnaces where hired before the next venture....the command staff... would be doing ALL none temperate planet jobbs ..alone.. XD

[@noneedtoknow07]

honestly I was thinking the internet that first story.

[@xxXXRAPXXxx]

-5C? If there is no wind i go out in a short sleeve t shirt (if you are moving then it is fine). Still i hope for a story where alien female needs to make a human really warmed up in such scenario, because im always horni.

[@draconex1]

Sounds like a lovely day to me

[@soffren]

Blue balls have a whole new meaning...

[@Rileylego-fq6wc]

It takes awhile for me to get used to cold but honestly without wind im pretty good. But rn kansas is either 70F or 40F on any given day making it a pain in the ass to get used to cold. But ive been fine with just a jacket and some jeans in -10F while pushing carts. The only part that sucked was inside the store the heaters were at 90F and when i passed underthem it felt like i was melting

[@xxXXRAPXXxx]

@@Rileylego-fq6wc Yea humans can get used to most things but sudden changes to something suck donkey balls (every time there is a sudden weather change my head hurts due to changes in the atmosphere pressures changing [i think] and having a random headache sucks).

[@Rileylego-fq6wc]

@@xxXXRAPXXxx i just burn up from the immense change in heat and the heat makes the cold colder for awhile.

[@spatan9835]

I ship the human and lizard.

[@hollyferay8131]

Good stories!

[@AgroSquerril]

glad you enjoyed

[@victortahlor4038]

Thank you for the reading

[@Southern_Crusader]

So in the first story, did those aliens just discover God?

[@Ryu_D]

Thank you for the video.

[@AgroSquerril]

a pleasure

[@yomogami4561]

good stories it's magic!!! damn it's cold

[@leifjungblom7659]

For the algorithm!

[@AgroSquerril]

For the algorithm

[@elfeater1760]

For the Algorithm11!

[@AgroSquerril]

For the algorithm

[@IronWarrior_69]

SELF CANABLALIZING IS NOT RATIONAL @ WILLOW

[@William-nameNface]

“You’re like a living furnace” same thing my girlfriend says to me

[@genericuser984]

neat

[@gManGabe]

Kinda weirded out by the comments saying there is something going on between human and lizard. Can't a bro just share some body heat _platonically?_

[@dovlyn1454]

For the algorithm!!

[@AgroSquerril]

For the algorithm

[@klappstock943]

For the Algorithm the story and the voice

[@heavenlyderpfowl1180]

So in story 1 they accidently caused the 3rd impact?

[@WiredTurkey316]

For the algorithm

[@AgroSquerril]

For the algorithm

[@nos2342]

To please the algorithm is all

[@adamglover6948]

Fork the Algorithm

[@terrieterblans7027]

Some stories ore good some are great and then there is some that is so poor it is just KAK the 1st was one of the last

[@arakheno4051]

F.A.S.

[@AgroSquerril]

For the algorithm

[@josmeijers2818]

F.T.A !

[@AgroSquerril]

For the algorithm

[@VadulTharys]

F T A

[@AgroSquerril]

For the algorithm

[@merlinwizard1000]

182nd, 7 January 2023

[@Bdady74]

Algorithm appeasement comment!

[@AgroSquerril]

For the algorithm

[@jimmycoyote74]

For the algorithm

[@AgroSquerril]

for the algorithm

[@asandrewsilvaw]

For the algorithm

[@AgroSquerril]

For the algorithm