Reddit Story | The Terran Incident by MisterNailbrain75 | HFY | Humans Are Space Orcs 1260

[@involuntaryanalysis]

To them, it was one of the most existentially terrifying experiences, Terran records refer to it as "The Kachaxian Turkey Shoot".

[@piedpiper1185]

But to me, it was Tuesday.

[@chrstfer2452]

@@piedpiper1185 wevegotabadass.jpg

[@Amoth_oth_ras_shash]

or terrans might just refer to it as ''despotic alien disciplinary action 1''.. after all its delicious how it reflects some thing from real history aka , empire sniffs out some small nation or such is mostly civilian towns etc... invades ,raids & enslaves.. and then cries in horror when its returned in kind and as they treated ther civilians as fair game... now the empires own is treated the same way

[@mgold700]

For them it was a war for existence. Though the term the humans like to use for this is „border conflict“

[@westcoaststacker569]

@@mgold700 "Police Action" or "Just another Thursday"

[@Killobot42]

It’s amusing what happens when you tech rush but miss an entire field of study.

[@freedomfighter2054]

Nice guns ya got there... we got better. *loads autocannon*

[@BrunoMaricFromZagreb]

Civ VI players be like: _"You guys are NOT rushing a specific tech tree while ignoring the other branches?"_

[@marcwilebski1993]

@@BrunoMaricFromZagreb That is what military tech rushing is for. why bother branchig out when the other guy is willing to do the work and you... ahem "appropriate" the results

[@unknownplauer306]

@@marcwilebski1993 reminds of me the time i was playing civ and gandhii achived nukes and everyone else were onights

[@prestonjones1653]

@@unknownplauer306 On the flip side, I managed to rush to tanks before we had even gotten to the BC/AD flip... mostly due to a stupidly lucky starting position with a TON of research potential.

[@BrunoMaricFromZagreb]

"Spacefaring Empire" "...firing their muskets..." This is gonna end in tears.Also blood,but mostly tears.

[@GhostBear3067]

It will end in equal measures of blood, tears, and bloody tears.

[@xotube2206]

I took me awhile to realize it was literal muskets. At first I thought it was the alien's own word for something.. Oh boy

[@davidtherwhanger6795]

I cannot conceive of any species that can obtain warp travel and not have better weaponry than muskets. It is literally impossible not to find better weaponry than black powder muskets with the level of tech that would be needed to go FTL.

[@BrunoMaricFromZagreb]

@@davidtherwhanger6795 Yes,thank you!This is such a stupid plot point.If you have spaceships then you probably have ultratough metal to use as a barel.Probably also hypermagnets,so you can create gauss guns.It's not even something that'd be hard to invent,just take an item & replace X with Z.

[@hanneskarlbom6644]

@@davidtherwhanger6795 well the thing is even in real life there have been civilizations with relatively high tech in one area but nothing in another. If say the xenos evolved from a creature with good natural defence and offence why bother with weapons? Like in evolution, it's not perfect but good enough, which may lead them to entirely ignore an area. Only issue I see is that they have the concept of guns and the tech to improve it and don't do it. But why fix what ain't broke? Other races don't have it all and they are already dominating, so there isn't any preasure to improve. I mean we went to the moon before we had good computers, not hard to imagine a race that have never seen war before develop advanced space flight before guns. If their first war is with an alien there simply may never have been a need for guns.

[@bulldowozer5858]

Me: "damn, that must be very powerful creatures" "[...] fireing their muskets [...]" *BRUH*

[@AgroSquerril]

lol

[@BrunoMaricFromZagreb]

This is gonna end in tears.Also blood,but mostly tears.

[@elvinadhludhlu5380]

''4 rounds per minute''🤤

[@BrunoMaricFromZagreb]

@@elvinadhludhlu5380 GAU-8 go *BBBRRRRRRTTT*

[@Allantitan]

@@elvinadhludhlu5380 funny thing is the terrans were most likely holding back their most powerful weapons out of pity 🤣

[@Sen81222]

Aliens: shoot 4 shots per minute Humanity: *laughs in machine gun fire*

[@elvinadhludhlu5380]

Rollin in gaitlin

[@Enderborn272]

Weaponry go brrrrrt

[@robertthompson5527]

More DAKKA

[@Da_Shark]

Honestly at least one species would worship humans as war God's in this universe.... I mean shit if you went back 200 years and showed off the power of a nuke you would be worshiped as a god of death on earth..... them things are fucked up

[@aj_the_infamous1013]

As soon as a heard musket i knew these xenos would be screwed

[@cgi2002]

I find it amusing they think the Terrans went to war. This wasn't a war, this was a measured and contained response to agression using tactical low yield weaponry. A terran war is something the galaxy needs to hope it never see's, for it would leave entire worlds in ruin, entire species decimated, and likely, stars gone dark.

[@kingcrafteroderderfahradtu7331]

No

[@bernardrednix756]

So Warhammer 40k?

[@vincentvalashu]

Nukes were invented in the 1900s... what new toys would be in the 3100s?

[@budpope2790]

Right? They only took some slaves. Imagine if they'd made off with all the coffee and chocolate.

[@waynecampeau4566]

Agreed. When we WAR it is not a little game or measured responses. I can easily imagine seeing humans create beasts like: quantum disrupters, singularity weapons, dimensional fragmentation devices, and stellar converters leaving entire swaths of the galaxy dead and uninhabitable for any organic life-forms.

[@Allantitan]

“How dare these savages” Oh believe me you don’t wanna know what a terran considers a “DRASTIC” action

[@nuru666]

"That's a nice star you have there, would be a shame if something happened to it."

[@slaughterinthespotlight1669]

@@nuru666 *nice galaxy you have here* *Would be a shame if it won't exist no more*

[@additiveartificer9365]

Nice star you have there it would be a shame it turn into a black hole in a week....

[@leechowning2712]

One minor space battle, and a dozen demonstration strikes. And this is the humans went to war... It's fairly obvious that they still haven't studied the humans very much because they haven't quarantined the entire sector. The fact that for 40 years the only thing that kept us from the end of all things was that two sides had them in roughly equal numbers and could mutually destroy each other. From the description there we only fired between 6 and 10 warheads... Out of the 30,000 in US arsenal alone. Even North Korea has that many weapons, yes they are little weak things like we deployed in the '50s but to a population that apparently had made the religious decision never to take the levels of destruction that humans considered normal.

[@Bmanbeast]

Or proportional response😆

[@emmetcoyne6436]

I like to imagine that Admiral Harker, was a Brit thinking to himself "Oh, I'm going to show these EIC (East India Company) cosplayers how it's done."

[@bulldowozer5858]

*-GEKOLONISEERD-*

[@Emps597thADR]

He probably looked this race thinking "We invented gunboat diplomacy, let me teach you, at gunpoint"

[@prussiankingdom1693]

Admiral: "it doesn't matter if you have honor... i got a better gun"

[@carlfranz6805]

+2 internets for the historical reference. One does wonder why all the major warriors in these stories are Scottish... 🤗

[@eurogryphon]

I'll call your slingshot, and raise you a Glocktopus.

[@crowsenpai5625]

*Me at the beginning* “well these sound like a promising warrior race. Maybe they’ll be a challenge.” *Me a few minutes later* “oh… they still use Muskets?…never mind.” *Me even later* “oh and they enslaved what Humans they took? Well I see Mercy is off the table.”

[@zagreus3698]

*Pulls out glock* Aliens: *Confused british screaming*

[@Amoth_oth_ras_shash]

could been worse...they could been eating the civilians kids as snacks.... now that i suspect would have taken tactical nukes of the table.. and just seen the human fleet jump in ,stick some premade engines on a f load of astroids and force a local news station to live cast them turning a plent into a molten slag glob in space....while asking if the other 'members' of the supremacy agreed with its ...politics... or like to return all humans they stolen ,and....anyone that eaten one...

[@Shawn_White]

@@zagreus3698 A-10 go *BURRRR*

[@Heegaherger]

lol My first thought was "lol This won't end well!"

[@prestonjones1653]

@@zagreus3698 British screaming? Just sell them a fuckton of tea to bankrupt them first. Then invade.

[@tabitharatchford7404]

An American soldier and an English soldier are fighting together in the UN forces. The American soldier turns to the English soldier and said “So, how does it feel to be fighting on this side?” English soldier “shut up!”

[@AnD1262]

an English soldier would reply "it beats trashing you in war games"

[@tabitharatchford7404]

@@AnD1262 🤣

[@BrunoMaricFromZagreb]

@@AnD1262 Pretty sure the joke flew over my head.

[@AnD1262]

@@BrunoMaricFromZagreb the British are known for eating the US alive in war games, a recent one was like 100 Britsh vs 1500 Americans, my understanding is using consumer-grade tech disposably the Britsh deleted the US assets, so overall my joke was an English soldier would be just as snide back using recent events as ammo rather than be defensive, even if the exercise itself was elite forces vs crayon eaters.

[@kriegsmanjaeger5545]

@@AnD1262 to which the American soldier would reply " yet we won when it mattered, in a real war."

[@jros4057]

Human: "Oh no, that wasn't a war. That was an armed conflict. No, I don't think you want to see us at war."

[@seldonwright4345]

More like a hunting party. Just a bunch of people with guns and nukes.

[@randybentley2633]

Nor see us at Total War full of Shock & Awe.

[@ravenouself4181]

@@randybentley2633 Total Mobilizatin goes brrt

[@Steelwhip2001]

reminds me of an old HFY story of an alien race invading modern-day earth. The aliens most technologically advanced ground combat forces were muskets, blackpowder cannons and biplanes. They were shocked to run into Earths automatic weapons, tanks and attack helicopters. The surviving alien high command and ships were captured and they then just realized that they had just handed the secrets of warp technology over to the most violent, warlike species the galaxy had ever known....

[@TheDreadfulDrifter]

The Road Not Taken, i believe

[@ptonpc]

@@TheDreadfulDrifter Yes. The Road Not Taken by Harry Turtledove.

[@anathardayaldar]

Sorry, why would a warp capable civilization not apply that knowledge to weapons?

[@salidarx]

@@anathardayaldar The implication in the story they are talking about is that FTL, not warp, was something that is discovered by most species in the galaxy, but it doesn't lead towards the same tech advancement as we humans followed. When they invaded, they basically handed the secret of FTL to humans, who were vastly more advanced in nearly every other way, because the tech tree for FTL didn't allow for branching out the way something like semiconductors would.

[@MUJUNKY]

@@salidarx In Fallout the divergence point is that we didn't invent the Transistor until 2050 something, preventing mass proliferation of computer tech. That is why the terminals and robots have the very 70's/80's feel despite the overall tech level of the setting being far above ours. the USA discovers Fusion in the 2030's IIRC, which allows for fusion batteries to power our robots and energy weapons. The lore for the Fallout setting is a great what if.

[@erushi5503]

Colonialist Aliens: turning humans into milk cattle, food, toys and such Humans: *thunderstruck "Ship get ready to jump, we'll show this Xeno's a lesson"

[@wilhelmhohenzollern576]

Worst thing: If they had done their research they could have found human volunteers for all of these. Especially the hucows...

[@Da_Shark]

@@wilhelmhohenzollern576 if this world was real I imagine the second lesson the xenos learn is the unbridled sex drive us apes have.......

[@United-Federation-of-Planets]

Blood for the Blood God Skulls for the Skull Throne

[@mechadrake]

@@United-Federation-of-Planets milk for big baby milkers. wait what

[@troypascoe4916]

@@mechadrake what

[@mr.e6289]

i herd 'muskets' and' four rounds per minet' and my first thought was "oh.. ohh you fecked up"

[@iamcurious9541]

I heard 120 Klicks, remembered that humans are on average 5.5 Klick (which means 1 klick ≈ 1 foot) and figured their effective range is less than 40m!

[@Mr_Jester980]

Since we have finally able to reach the star and colonize planets, it's only a matter of time for us humans to evolve into a pantheon full of reality-altering space monkeys.

[@Crazylom]

Just make sure to place correct and responsible "Zeus"

[@anathardayaldar]

How does a space faring civilization not apply their technology to weapons? As Isaac Arthur explained in his SFIA channel, the energies needed to accelerate a ship to interstellar speeds is at the same time a useful death ray when pointed the other way.

[@anathardayaldar]

OK. On reading the other comments, its like in Age Of Empires or CIV, when a player shows up with cold war era transports and out jumps musketeers. And your WWII era army and ships just mows them down.

[@stevedixon921]

I read a book with something along these lines. The ships had to decelerate and the engines output was considered an attack by the entity at the other end. Later, it was used as a way to disable a hostile force entering from a gateway (warp). More evidence that anything can be a weapon if the conditions are right.

[@TarsonTalon]

I dunno, but 'Treasure Planet' was a nice movie. I heard 'Battlestar Galactica' was a nice show too. I don't think I'd have those ships share an episode of 'Death Battle' though, I think it's clear who would win.

[@billyw8186]

In HFY, planets are usually classed on a sliding scale of how deadly they are, with anything over a 10 being a "Deathworld". Humans come from a "Deathworld" rank 12 and most aliens come from planets somewhere in the 2-6 area. Extreme weather events, shifting tectonics, massive land and water predators, poisonous and venomous flora and fauna, etc all make us a Deathworld. If you grow up in the garden of eden you don't need to develop weapons or the mental flexibility needed to wage war. If your species has all the resources it needs, and no physical barriers (raging rivers, drought, famine, weather disasters, predators, etc), then there's no point in fracturing your society into competing groups to fight over said resources.

[@angelusmortis3020]

@@billyw8186 Im fairly new to HFY and TFOS so maybe I just need to read more, but, how is our planet considered a death planet in these stories? sure we have some pretty nasty animals/plants and we do experience localised natural disasters, but there are much worse possibilities. Even our gravity has been theorised to be around the middle of the scale for habitable worlds (though I have seen some arguments for our gravity being at the higher end of the scale as well so this point is debatable).

[@Maddog3060]

Reminds me of Turtledove's story "The Road Not Taken". There the discovery of antigravity and FTL happens at roughly a 17th-18th century level of development, and basically broke a species understanding of science so bad they never even developed an Industrial Revolution, let alone electronics, rocketry, or dakka. So when I heard "muskets" and "cavalry" I was like "oh... oh God, I actually feel sorry for the poor, filthy xenos." Because at that point it's not even a war, it's pest control.

[@jackaubrey8614]

Yep, in Turtledoves book they don't even have have oxygen supplies for their ships but rely on whatever is in them when they close the airlocks.... :)

[@noppornwongrassamee8941]

@@jackaubrey8614 Which is utterly ridiculous. Turtledove's rationale was that the discovery of antigravity somehow results in races dropping all R&D into better antigravity drives and everything else being starved of ingenuity. Except you need more than antigravity drives to make a spaceship, and somehow NOTHING ELSE that goes into building a spaceship was ever improved or iterated on. The aliens in this story unlike Turtledove's Roxolani actually have science and advanced technology. They should have been able to innovate beyond muzzle loading muskets simply from having so much better manufacturing standards than a 15th century smithy. At the very least, I'd expect single shot breechloaders if not actual rifles.

[@JackPhoenixCz]

I was looking through comment to see if anyone mentioned that before I would.

[@prestonjones1653]

@@noppornwongrassamee8941 If your enemy is armed with a pointy stick, would you bother wasting the time, effort, or money to research how to make a Panzer IV?

[@noppornwongrassamee8941]

@@prestonjones1653 You don't need to make a Panzer. Just making breech loading rifles that are easier and faster to reload would be hugely convenient, and such technology would be a natural consequence better precision manufacturing to make better, more spaceworthy starships. Or are you going to argue that gravity drives and easy space travel means that people won't do R&D into making the rest of the starship better, like investigating how to make onboard air last longer, what the air is made of, how to make better seals to keep said air in, how to improve manufacturing processes to increase starship production while bringing down the cost of said production, etc etc etc?

[@TransbianOwl]

The 293rd Kachaxian Expeditionary Fleet discovered and concord the Terran colony planet Janus... .... .... .... .... The galaxy agrees that was a terrible mistake.

[@Tommy-5684]

you have been reading roo much Hitchhikers guide to the Galaxy

[@TransbianOwl]

Not in over a decade lol but its one of a handful of sci-fi that stuck in my mind.

[@sijul6483]

This angered the Terrans, who punished them severely.

[@ToastGamingNCrew]

@@sijul6483 i understood that reference!

[@eurogryphon]

"Nuke the site from orbit. It's the only way to be sure." -- Lt Ellen Ripley

[@AgroSquerril]

yup

[@squiddiot5477]

Bluecoats: **exist** Terrans: Wait, I’ve seen this before! Bluecoats: what do you mean, this is brand new? How to explain to them that humans advanced beyond this stage of war in the 1800s

[@adinarapratama5607]

Arms race against other humans I guess, and the probably limited resources on the Terran Deathworld

[@ckl9390]

To be fair, the first Terran thoughts when seeing the rocket was likely both "I wonder how we can use this to go faster" and "I wonder how many people can be injured with this".

[@gammafoxlore2981]

The first thought was: "Can we attach a bomb to this?"

[@peterbensilum3211]

No it was, can I go to space, then he blew up in atmo, this person was the emperor of China, then try saw it would explode

[@willgallatin2802]

LOL! Less firepower per trooper than the average group of game hunters with semi-auto rifles. Let alone proper military automatic weapons.

[@whirledpeaz5758]

Barrett M82, 671 grains of diplomacy.

[@stevenweaver3386]

Essentially the same way the British expanded their empire, especially in India.

[@no-gracias9863]

Lol, so this is like putting all your points into ship building but you leave your infantry primitive level?

[@XxTaiMTxX]

This is what happens when you put all your military might into "Overwhelming Force" rather than "Best tactics and efficient ways to kill". When your idea of war is "honorable fights" and "overwhelming force", nobody in that military is going to learn proper tactics and no person in that society is going to develop weaponry seen as "dishonorable". It takes skill to fire 4 musket shots a second. That's something worthy of respect! It's honorable to be that good! Humanity, historically, doesn't really care about honor. They care about making you dead and winning. So, faster ways to make as many dead as possible has been what we do. More efficient ways of dealing death is what we're about. Honor only exists after a fight. And, hey, you can't protest how honorable a fight was after you're dead.

[@mgold700]

@@XxTaiMTxX honor has somewhat (though only a little) existed in human wars basically right up until WW1. Since then its free game

[@GrimFaceHunter]

No, this is a story about a civilization that accomplished space travel while it's understanding of war, social and economic organization is still in Napoleonic era. Their strategies were best at the time in our world, but times were changing in our world and so did strategies. In theirs that wasn't the case so they kept the best ones that they knew.

[@Darqshadow]

​@mgold700 eh modern airfare amongst peer states can be honorable. We have the Conventions for that reason because the last time we did a no holds barred war... millions burned.

[@neosildrake]

Depending on the dialekt and the pronounciation, the word _Terra_ might as well sound like _Terror_ .

[@Crazylom]

Xenos:Dear God...

[@platinumchromee3191]

Humans are space orks and that explains why Terror might fit

[@quinnhasse9170]

There’s more

[@ravenouself4181]

@@Crazylom Terrans/Terrors: We are Your Gods. And we are fresh out of Mercy. *Doom kicks in*

[@daral9217]

Ah space Britain running into modern equipment.

[@bernardrednix756]

Kinda weird to see space faring empire fight using Napoleon era tactics and technology

[@daral9217]

@@bernardrednix756 I suppose the point is never getting past that muskets as they didn't need them. It really is a manner of thought that we can't wrap our heads around as we will weaponize anything and keep trying to improve on it.

[@bernardrednix756]

@@daral9217 well the human race when it comes to war always looking for a more efficient way to deal damages,look back into history we jump from musket to fully automatic guns in a span of 2 century

[@BrunoMaricFromZagreb]

@@bernardrednix756 This is why you don't ignore a branch of the tech tree while playing Civilisation,or other 4X games.

[@bernardrednix756]

@@BrunoMaricFromZagreb I never played any civilization series, probably buy it during sales

[@NathanBChampine]

In a way it wasn't a fair fight (if you can call it that). I mean come on we can drop small pieces of a suns surface anytime we want. The other guys couldn't even deal with a tech9 let alone a sun drop. Oh well sucks to be them.

[@errorabortretry3694]

Fair fights are for suckers. I believe it says that somewhere in the field manual.

[@wrigthtalekenavi2066]

@@errorabortretry3694 oh yea, what was it... rigth the best type of kill is overkill

[@platinumchromee3191]

@@wrigthtalekenavi2066 best type of kill is Ultrakill,you know,just "fuck you" but stylish

[@stevedixon921]

Human ship of war arrives at the hostile home planet. "That's a nice planet you've got there...be a shame if something were to happen to it."

[@TarsonTalon]

'Treasure Planet' was a nice movie. I wouldn't have their ships in a simulated battle with ships from other sci-fi franchises, though.

[@brianhochhausen2757]

"The legendary 120 kik range..." Average human is 5.5 kiks... Thirty yards.... MUA HAHAHA

[@whirledpeaz5758]

Record human effective shot, over 2 km

[@mgold700]

@@whirledpeaz5758 no need to find sniper shots here. 30 meters fighting range is a joke compared to modern day fighting ranges. Most battles tend to be at a distance of 100-150 meters (yards to meters is nearly 1:1).

[@ToastGamingNCrew]

@@mgold700 M4A3 with an effective range of 300 meters and a potential range of 1000 meters: "you called?"

[@DonPatrono]

I mean, even 18th century muskets had a 50 to 60yds efficient range, which with a good weapon in the hand of a trained skirmisher would become easily 80yds (without going into rifled hunting guns)....a 30yds effective range is not a gunfight, it's an airsoft game with indoor arena rules

[@ravenouself4181]

@@ToastGamingNCrew When You bring back WW2-era tanks just to give the enemy a chance to see you while you are killing them

[@greenrena8503]

I love such storys. Take that, space limies! Merry tree day everyone!

[@zagreus3698]

*Pulls out glock* Aliens: *Confused british screaming*

[@bryceaustin4995]

"Oh wow these guys sound like big bullies." *hears the mention of muskets and cavalry. "Oh no, These poor fools."

[@TKBarnes]

The Author must have read Harry Turtledove's "Road not Taken" which can be argued as one of the first true HFY stories. Strongly recommend to all it's a great short story and is available online :)

[@thegamecrasherthemastergam8485]

These are probably the third of second weakest species I've ever heard in fiction, at least with a story written about them. Kachax vs Roxolani is now the question.

[@ZKP314]

Given the East India Company vibes, I’m sure they’d find some kinda drug for the Race to get absolutely plastered over.

[@thegamecrasherthemastergam8485]

@@ZKP314 As in The Race from the Worldwae series? If so, makes sense se but that doesn't answer the question

[@georgea5991]

@@thegamecrasherthemastergam8485 Ah, ginger. Simple seasoning for us, crack for the Lizards.

[@kennethhummel4409]

Crazed monkeys peeing in the universes corn flakes again!

[@Volvith]

Aliens: "I wonder how much our society can benefit from these rockets. Increased speed, interstellar travel..." Humans: _"OI STEVE! _*_LET'S BLOW SHIT UP!"_*

[@RadarLeon]

Humans love their microwaves ^_^ we just don't know what settings to use normally we just set them to sun.

[@BrunoMaricFromZagreb]

DID YOU EVER WANT TO HUG A STAR!?

[@platinumchromee3191]

Any microwave i use i crank up power to 100

[@yomogami4561]

sounds like me using the microwave for chicken or hotpockets i think i hit 2:00 minutes but accidently hit 20:00 [skeletal muscular problems] and get involved in something else while waiting does make great shoe leather and bricks though

[@QuakeMidaro]

This is an underrated comment

[@carlfromtheoc1788]

It's all fun and games until the other guy goes full gangsta gangsta - poor aliens would plotz a nine-sided brick upon seeing a rotary cannon spitting out 100 rounds a second, or a beehive round fired from a 155mm gun.

[@AgroSquerril]

indeed

[@whirledpeaz5758]

Iowa class 16" 50 caliber. After the dust clears the mountain is 10 ft shorter. Battleship New Jersey sunk an Island.

[@britishneko3906]

beehive round from an A-150-class

[@britishneko3906]

@@whirledpeaz5758 historically Wisconsin did that but I wanna see all the Iowa-class and Yamato-class to have an Island kill

[@noctusdoesthings]

"Humans were, and debatably still are, savages." Busted out laughing at that

[@Crazylom]

Ok, guys, pick one: 1.Capsaicin 2.Human engineer 3.Microfauna inside us 4. Stupid Xenos

[@lostgamer2271]

I just started the video and seen this question do you mine explaining the choices for the not so smart people 😅

[@RadarLeon]

4

[@ryankaiser2702]

It’s gonna be .4

[@LordGertz]

Capsaicin, keeping things Spicy!

[@Crazylom]

Capsaicin - powerful for sesitive alien life chemical, that we use as spice in small quantities Human engineer - "Whem you see human engineer running for his life away from something, you better trow away everything you do and follow an example" Microfauna - We are filled with bactetial life. Which might be dangerous for alien life. Stupid Xenos - this story.

[@goen5601]

4 shot a minute? To be able to fight in any situation? Sir!! That is soldiering!!

[@stevenweaver3386]

Thought after launching 1st rocket: I wonder if it can go faster Thought after 2nd launch lands among bystanders: Hey! This can blow up people!

[@whyuhatan]

Agreed with everything except the ground battle We humans would have just annihilated the enemy ground forces from orbit or deployed a squadron of whatever future version of a ground attack aircraft we had. Ground forces would have only been landed at the very end to conduct mop up operations

[@dalemorgan8263]

I dunno, seems like the Terrans did that just to make a point.

[@wrigthtalekenavi2066]

the target wasnt defeat them, but make sure they would never do that same mistake ever again. you dont just fuck with a deathworld as they saw what death can do, and make it run away

[@patraic5241]

The humans didn't even use artillery. Or air support. Can you imagine what a single artillery battalion would have done to them? An Air Regiment of attack helos? For that matter they don't even need nukes. Just a few kinetic strikes from orbit.

[@CodexisInkwind]

We probably didn't want to overly harm the valuable farm world they stole from us

[@allster0crowly]

they made sure the cameras were still rolling the entire fight, so it was a lesson in futility, humans pretty much said "everything you can do I can do better" in the attack while completely demoralizing them

[@13thBear]

We Americans need always remember President Theodore Roosevelt’s warning to “walk softly and carry a big stick.” Too often we use that “big stick” unnecessarily, and forget to “walk softly.” Diplomacy, if you catch my drift, brothers and sisters, diplomacy.

[@quinnhasse9170]

Yes: gunboat diplomacy

[@speeddemon7678]

That's working out GREAT with China, right!? (I am being sarcastic)

[@lbochtler]

Using mrev's to completely sterilize that planet would have been much more fun

[@crayonchomper1180]

MIRV- Multiple Independently targeted Re-entry Vehicle, they are seriously cool

[@Odd_Interaction]

“When the Terrans invented the rocket, their first thought was likely: "I wonder how many people I can blow apart with this?"” Or what object(s) can I blow apart.

[@EllenbergW]

Ah, kind of a variation of "The Road Not Taken" (look it up, it's a fun read if you haven't read it already)

[@BrunoMaricFromZagreb]

Too busy to look for it,still at work hoping noone sees me using wifi.Provide source or description please?TY.

[@callumn2111]

@@BrunoMaricFromZagreb A short story. Basically an alien race invades Earth. Because they detect that there is no FTL tech on Earth, they attack thinking it'll be an easy conquest. When they do, they attack with musket like weapons and have only the most basic medical training. They get wrecked as a result. When the humans interrogate captives, they learn the truth. Turns out FTL is an insanely simple technology to learn. As a result, once most races discover FTL, they immediately put all efforts into researching it and either move to worlds easier to survive on or conquer less advanced species. However humanity somehow missed this simple method to achieve FTL. Because of we couldnt just move to a better world and because we of the way our minds work, we kept advancing all other forms of technology. So in other words, whilst the aliens had FTL, all their other tech was the same as our Early Modern Era or Victorian at best. As the story ends, the alien (whos POV the story is written in) essentially realises that by invading Earth, his kind have given the most advanced and aggressive race ever encountered the ability to spread into the stars and essentially goes "What have we done?!"

[@Tommy-5684]

are you ralking about Max Boot's Biogrophy of Ed Lansdale?

[@EllenbergW]

@@Tommy-5684 So I can't post a link to the story? Seriously? It's a short story by Harry Turtledove the title is: The Road Not Taken. Easy enough to find on the 'net.

[@Tommy-5684]

@@EllenbergW there is a biogrophy of Ed Lansdale of exatly the same name and that is what personaly came to mind when i saw the tital and i was comfused so mearly asking for clirifcation

[@tdofducksplays]

Kachax: “Our greatest weapon has a fire rate of 4 shot per minute!” Human: “What are you using? Some kind of over sized rail gun?” Kachax: “A what?”

[@skullbones1014]

Finally one that had some good length and story and ended pretty solid.

[@Inquisitor-Yog-Sothoth]

Muskets... I don't think they can penetrate modern body armor. So that would make us invincible.

[@belorianuskane1952]

A nice take on the "The road not taken" plot by Harry Turtledove

[@ZKP314]

“When the Terrans first invented the rocket, they probably thought “how can I blow up more people with this?”” Given that the first mass produced Military Rockets were made by a militaristic dictatorship so warlike and genocidal, that even we are disgusted by their atrocities, the answer was most definitely yes. …wait, you guys *livestreamed* Janus? I almost feel bad for the poor sods who had to watch the galactic balance get upended…almost.

[@ONEIL311]

Nah first rockets were invented in China but same concept

[@jakeand9020]

Unfortunately for the galaxy, that wasn't the Terrans going to war. That was merely the Terran's opening negotiations to avoid war.

[@riomine1984]

TL DR : Humans nuke aliens using muskets and alien surrender

[@driverr988]

We would probably be bumped up 1 more rank if they knew about Australia. "A Deathworld INSIDE a Deathworld?"

[@julesmasseffectmusic]

When for 26th in line for throne you don't attend anything the first 25 go to. That's just survival instinct working.

[@ericoxner8333]

This would make a kickers movie!! And great job narrative you did here.

[@sherylcascadden4988]

For the author! For the narrator!! For the algorithm!!!

[@AsuraDandy]

I love the fact that the Terrans weren't even the reason why the Kachaxian Empire fell. I mean, they were the inspiration to start rebelling against the Empire, but they just wanted their people back.

[@gregoryfolsom7882]

Fucked around, found out.

[@AgroSquerril]

indeed

[@allenmorgan1007]

For the Algorithm, For the Author(s), For the Disembodied Voice!

[@AgroSquerril]

For the algorithm

[@BrunoMaricFromZagreb]

Agreed!

[@joimumu]

17:52 of course the camera man survived

[@Darkinu2]

16:22 The best part of all this was that the entire thing was recorded live back to the Karchaxian homeworld. They got a slaughter alright 😂😂

[@Haidonomus_Rex]

"Hippity Hoppity, Get off my property!" -Terran Soldier at the battle of Janus

[@crashmartin1525]

when I heard "muskets" I instantly knew what was going to happen

[@AgroSquerril]

brown pants time

[@justsomejerseydevilwithint4606]

11:16 wait till they hear about silkworms and cows

[@conniewilkinson9347]

"Do no make us do something we might regret." No. It should be: "Do not make us do something you will regret."

[@lowerweb8466]

you have warp drives, and are space faring, but you use muskets.

[@aFreeBurrito]

When you bring a musket to a SAW fight...

[@thomasharrison205]

I saw "fire there muskets upto 4 shots a minute" I was like oh no

[@TechnoMageB5]

Peace is only maintained with the sharp edge of a Bat'Leth - or, in this case, nukes.

[@Kaldortangerine]

hey if you happen across "our chief of security is psychotic" feel free to use the text in scrolling form.

[@martincollins6632]

ROFLMAO: "The Terran dreadnoughts hit with the force of an angry god"

[@markuhler2664]

Thinking how cute they are with muskets. Takes slaves. Oh, you could not have played that worse.

[@jesseamaya4413]

Umm,,,, muskets? Oh dear. This is gonna be messy,

[@leechowning2712]

It was a single series of demonstration strikes... And they think we went to war with them. I honestly don't know what to tell them.

[@mikkelnpetersen]

Our "redcoats" would still have slaughtered their "bluecoats"

[@guardianofthetoasters2323]

Big e watching from an underground basement:... This is not what 40k me foretold... BUT I SURE AS HELL WOULD TAKE IT!

[@Taneth]

Muskets? Oh no. Oh, my sweet summer child.

[@nickbarker9712]

Dont mess with the talking monkeys. Theyre crazy and hold a grudge

[@IshijimaKairo]

Comparison: Kachax - Human - Union militaries Kachax: 'The Road Not Taken" by Sir Harry Turtledove Humans: UNSC on Steroids The Union: So, take The Reapers from Mass Effect, The UNSC, Covenant, Ancient Humanity from Halo, and The First Order/Empire from Star Wars and crank it up to 11 with a side of Gigastructural Engineering & More - A Stellaris Mod.

[@Bluesonofman]

Then a millennia later the end times arrive, and the Galaxy comes to Humanity to push back the invaders from another Galaxy.

[@Adiscretefirm]

Really poor planning to have the entire royal family on one ship.

[@uCruz_]

I can't even imagine a war with guns firing 4 bulets a minute, like fire, wait 15s fire again, the universe would have to be very pacifist for a civilazation like this to be the dominant one lmao. This types of videos activate my monke brain, its so good

[@jameshaley2156]

This is a alien version of the East Indian Trading Company's story.

[@namianicgono9250]

I don't know why but this some how reminded me of the fall of reach in halo

[@walterengler5709]

This reminds me of the short story "The Road not Taken". It starts with an ship from some space empire coming into range of Earth and noting the world. The can see all the cities in the night but the commander is sure this is nonsense no world could ever have that many cities and people it must be some natural phenomenon. No other ships like theres are spotted so he sees a land ripe for plunder with primitives to attack. So they land outside a large population center with what they think are glittering mountains (skyscrapers), and the troops disembark and form up into a row, and then the fire on the enemy troops near them thinking their weapons will scare the primitives. The resulting counter fire kills all but two and damages the ship ending the battle in seconds. Later on in a prison the two survivors, somewhat healed, are finally allowed to be in the same room. They start talking about how could this happen how could any species be that powerful. And the other starts talking about things he has overheard as they were taught the local language to better communicate. Two technicians talking about how could their scientists had not realized how easy it was to generate ships that sail the stars and have their own gravity. And the one goes into the poem of the Road Not Taken of how there is a fork in the road and each path leads to differing outcomes. And somehow in the past the people of Earth took the not so obvious road, which lead to technology and great improvements (but overlooked a simpler path). And so while the rest of the universe was sailing in ships and fighting with simple weapons they had blundered down their path banging their fists at the stars while all the other secrets of the universe were laid bare, and that meant the world was populated by over 6 Billion people as well. This stunned the other survivor as the total numbers he had heard existing across the exising known system might have been a mind number hundred million .. so this amount and their achievements were hard to swallow. And then the other survivor continued yes, it is hard to believe. But even worse, they showed them the other path existed and their ship led the way. So they had now unleashed these beings on the universe. And pity all they now encounter.

[@daniel_f4050]

If the aliens are armed with black powder muskets and using Napoleonic tactics how in the devil did their ships “damage” any of the Terran Dreadnoughts? Harsh words? Sarcasm?

[@nitegamer7272]

The one big thing that bothers me is that the aliens are using what sounds like blackpowder muskets. Even if they never developed militarily to better develop firearms, they would have discovered electro-magnets. It would be more realistic if they used electro-muskets, that required small batteries and were single loaded as these would be similar to muskets but with a futuristic flare to make it more believable. I can easily see a civilization that doesn't have a militaristic mindset going from blackpowder to electro magnets as weapons, but not making the jump at all?

[@ssu7653]

Already dominated the galaxy with black powder for practically forever. What need did they have to invent something more? Its like why do we have the ability to completly destroy out world several times over, but barely visiting the moon nevermind visiting another planet...

[@nickl5658]

insufficiently advance aliens.

[@Butmunch666]

"I wonder how many people I can blow apart with this?" The answer as it turns out...was all of them.

[@prisonerofthehighway1059]

“Proportional Response”

[@acedynamo]

Fun story, a little strange that a race that has mastered the astronomical amount of energy needed for space flight let alone ftl. would still be using black powder weapons and cavalry.

[@Talon1124]

Thr galaxy trembles when the Terrans go to war. Listen closely, youngling, you've never seen this before. The Terrans guns and ships are terroble to behold, for sure. Yet mever have we seen them fight, for something that is pure. So heed me.lad and listen well, to what I have to say. The Terrans marched but they never made real war that day.

[@Crazylom]

For they fought themselves, with things of terror That we were lucky to never peek

[@YDV669]

There is an old book called Pandora's Planet, wherein aliens looking like lions walking on hind legs(with tails, which later leads to an interesting aside about furniture design) but who ironically consider themselves humans and Earthlings humanoids, invade Earth. They discover to their horror that Earth people are far more advanced than they are, except in the area of FTL and starship building, which an accident of history prevented on Earth. There's a hilarious scene where they are trying to figure my local machine guns are so much better than theirs and what to do about it. Leader 1: "Ours shoot 25 rounds at a time, so what's the problem when theirs shoot just one?" Leader 2: "Yes, but they can fire hundreds of rounds per minute, with two guys one to aim and fire and one to handle the ammo belts, which they can just feed new ones in when they run out while it takes ours an hour to break it down to set a new munition module in." Leader 1: "Fine. Go capture one, then induce the locals to teach us how to make them. We'll slap our Imperial sigil on it and give it our name." Later. Leader 1: "How did it go?" Leader 2: "Disastrously. Like you said, we captured one, in France, and they said it wasn't theirs. Probably the damn English. We showed it to the English, and they said, Stupid Frenchies can't even tell that the Americans made it. The Americans said, we had nothing to do with it, this is the fault of the Russians. As an aside, you know each of these countries speaks a different language? The Russians said, you can't trust anything the damn Americans say, this is obviously a Nazhii job. And where are the Nazhiis, we asked? Oh they were all wiped out decades ago."

[@samsignorelli]

Aliens: shoot 4 shots per minute So....Sharpe is their advisor??

[@10Tabris01]

I really want to see those aliens measure up against redcoats or Frederick the Great's Prussians now

[@melkiorwiseman5234]

Now I'm remembering an incident from an old story where aliens have (the protaganists eventually figure out) copied various parts of Earth taken from different time periods and assembled them into a single Earth-like planet, although exactly why is a mystery (studying how the copied humans will react? Perhaps). One of the problems which needs to be overcome is that some areas of Europe are still engaged in hostilities from WW1 or 2 and although modern-day weaponry (which the protagonists have access to) could be used, they don't want to do that since it would be pointless. An alternative solution is needed, and one is found. As the various representatives of the different countries are brought into the meeting room to discuss the situation, a wind-up gramophone is playing a record. Once everyone sits down, the chairman of the meeting points out that this is the pinnacle of audio technology for all of the people invited to the meeting. He then unveils a modern (at the time of the story) "high fidelity" sound system and has some music played on it. Then the chairman points out that developments in weapons technology generally outpace developments in other areas of technology, by a long way, and this is his side's latest audio technology. They don't have a lot of trouble getting a universal peace agreement after that.

[@donchichivagabond1578]

Who knew that the Aliens would have British war tactics.