Nice guys (Part time)

[@kyledoran1671]

I've only started following you recently and what you said made me feel angry, but I wanted to know why. I started watching you consistently and realized what you said was the hard truth, it made me angry because it was targeted toward me and applied to me every day. Your videos have made me question the content I consume and the people around me, for that I thank you.

[@MichaelDeHaven]

Learning and growing is always a good thing. I've learned a lot from him myself. Best of luck.

[@cry-piddawg]

Glad to hear his videos are helping other men❣️I’ve said this before on another vid maybe, but he’s the only other guy in the movement that I’ve seen put all of these topics so eloquently and accurately and not doing it for any ulterior, malicious motive but to inform and help all of us whose been hurt by the patriarchy.

[@kyledoran1671]

@@cry-piddawg I totally agree, I like how he doesn't pull any punches if it's grape he's talking about, he'll say it. Oftentimes it's because it needs to be said.

[@e.458]

​@@cry-piddawgThere's an old channel, DrNerdLove, that's really good too. Unfortunately it's inactive now, but the old videos are still sad relevant now as they were when they were made.

[@ravoress]

Character growth!!! Character Development. All power to you, KING!!! .. Do you know.. how hard it is for MOST of us to self reflect? it stings, its uncomfortable and icky, so ofc we brush it aside and go "meh, let me instead consume stuff that tells me I am always right" but we never learn from that? I honestly have so much respect for you Kyle. You went "this pisses me OFF! ... but why???? let me look around me. Let me look within." I wish you the best in your journey. Sounds like you are leveling up!

[@JessiD-111]

It's crazy at what a young age this all starts. A dear male friend of mine told me that that was all his father told him, when he was young. "You need to pretend to like this girl, to get her to sleep with you", "Buy her flowers, pretend to listen to her. Yes, it is annoying, but it will give you sex". He told me that the first thing his mom responded every time he gave her a little present was "what have you done?" - and he always thought that she was ungrateful, but later realized that that was how his father treated her all the time. I remember when I was a little girl and a boy in my class was super mean to me. Every teacher I told about it (no matter if male or female) told me "Aaaawww, he likes you! That's how he shows it!" Noone helped me, noone told him that this was not ok. Everyone said it was "cute". We teach this bs to kids and then wonder why grown ups have problems with good relationships. I am so grateful that I met my husband very early in my life and that I know what a good and healthy relationship looks like.

[@Nerobyrne]

The even more messed up part is that these same people will work very hard to keep "buying it" illegal, when that's literally the most obvious way to get "it" when you don't want to have to care about your partner.

[@flamingtiger4360]

Wow, that's pretty messed up

[@FruitsChinpoSamuraiG]

oh i always, always hated the "boys will bully you if they like you" excuse, because that's all it is, an excuse for violent behaviour. ive had purple bruises and he didnt listen to my "no"s and "stop"s, and yet we were in middle school. why is it so hard to learn the difference between playful teasing and violence ?

[@rejectionisprotection4448]

​@@flamingtiger4360It's very common.

[@kiraoshiro9251]

when I got bullied by a boy and was too shy to speak up let alone stand up for myself, I ended up telling mom. she also said it was because he liked me and acted like it was cute. I said "I don't care why he does it, what do I do about it to make him stop? because it happens so often I can barely focus on school" she was unhelpful and I was 11yo with no gall and zero social skills so I just endured it rest of the school year.

[@Kuroinohana]

I've said I want a nice man plenty of time, what they fail to understand is that I want a man that is nice to everyone that is nice to him. A guy told me an acquaintance of mine would die alone, he thought she was not attractive , he was always nice to me but he was not a nice man with many others so I stopped spending time with him because he was not a nice man.

[@jadaw644]

This is why I can't stand the "he's only nice to me" trope. The people who enjoy it in fiction are valid, fiction is fiction. But in real life it strikes me as very toxic. Like, WHY are they "only nice to you"? That makes it seem like they're only doing it to get something from you.

[@dianeyhb]

Damn, your explanations are so clear. I have a friend who considers himself a “nice guy” but has a tendency to resent women for exactly this reason-seeing niceness as a transactional tool to get a relationship. Thank you so much for sharing.

[@sivuyisezimela7819]

how is he your friend then

[@FishareFriendsNotFood972]

@@sivuyisezimela7819 You're right, plenty of men could improve their friendship skills

[@kikijewell2967]

​@@sivuyisezimela7819ooo bam. You think he's waiting around for his chance then? 😬

[@ChaoticAuthenticity]

Have you called him in and discussed this with him? Accountability and encouraging growth is an important part of authentic friendship. Otherwise, why would you continue to be "friends" with this person? It shows them you condone this behavior and mindset.

[@rayzerot]

Both genders see being nice as transactional. If you don't see it then it's because you don't want to see it.

[@KossolaxtheForesworn]

actually nice and kind people dont view their niceness/kindness as transactional.

[@zacharybosley1935]

Ah, I knew there'd be an appeal to purity somewhere, and this is The textbook example.

[@InterplanarerPennersoeldner65]

Youre rappin. And by all the comments u left, its evident that you are the exact opposite of what you said.

[@radicalreactions1633]

@@InterplanarerPennersoeldner65 And it's always the uneducated incels that project that can't spell either.

[@KarenGriffith_SoulfulCoaching]

Are you sure?

[@QWERTY-gp8fd]

oh look someone who is trying to take advantage of people's kindness.

[@jdbailey442]

All too often, men wear niceness like a mask or costume. When you come across a man who is nice in the back of many women's minds is when will the switch flip and the real him be revealed. Many women and girls have trauma from this, and we don't realize it. This video was spot on!

[@dancingdragon3]

The crazy thing is that this is exactly how I feel about women who act like my friends. (I’m afab but neurodivergent and queer). They start out compassionate and then suddenly are making fun of you and ostracizing you. I think most people just suck.

[@LC-sc3en]

@@dancingdragon3 I am sorry that happened to you. For some cultures when people express care and closeness through teasing. But it shouldn’t be ostracizing or bullying and you should see it being done not just to you but across their close friends and family. If you have people you think a re your friend who start doing that to you the way to tell if they mean it affectionately is to let them know it bothers you and you would like them to stop. If the stop or make a genuine apology and effort to stop then they actually care about you. If not then they aren’t worth your energy either.

[@Ferrist1]

Niceness does not equal goodness. Nice is a mask and most women have experienced it's slip.

[@deconstructing7307]

I've always pursued men who ignore me, just like dad. I'm extremely uncomfortable when men show me sincere affection and interest. I either think they want something from me, making me feel tricked, or I just run in fear because I can't face their honesty.

[@emilystewart6175]

That is a shame honestly. I have definitely also previously run away from relationships for different but similar reasons. I hope you can manage to find someone who is genuine with their affection for you and stick it through. It takes a lot of work to get out of that headspace after you've been ingrained in it for years.

[@QWERTY-gp8fd]

what a sad fate lmao.

[@FruitsChinpoSamuraiG]

i hope you can look into attachment styles and look deeply into your wounds. not because it will help you with healthier romantic endeavours, but because it will give you confidence in yourself and allow you to trust yourself. trusting your own judgment and actions is very important for anyone. but by healing, you would be able to overcome the troubles and achieve healthy, happy and fulfilling relationships, whether it's romantic or platonic.

[@tymondabrowski12]

​@@QWERTY-gp8fd a lack of empathy in someone is even sadder.

[@QWERTY-gp8fd]

@@tymondabrowski12 why would i feel empathy for females?

[@FishareFriendsNotFood972]

Women live in a world that tells them they deserve bad treatment from men. So women start to believe they deserve bad treatment from men. And then men hear them say this........and blame the woman for 'choosing bad treatment'. Ridiculous cycle. 😑

[@sivuyisezimela7819]

nah society tells women they deserve the prince(rich, tall and handsome) type and that they deserve the princess treatment. thats all i gathered from disney movies

[@FishareFriendsNotFood972]

@@sivuyisezimela7819 Awwww, you're a cute little troll. Thanks for boosting this channel's engagement! 🙂

[@InterplanarerPennersoeldner65]

@@sivuyisezimela7819 u do realize that RL isnt a disneymovie....right?

[@FruitsChinpoSamuraiG]

if only we did normalise princess treatment for real 😔we'd no longer have any kinds of abuse between partners and no longer have any form of victim blaming ! but alas...

[@QWERTY-gp8fd]

@@FruitsChinpoSamuraiG woman reject the simp who treat them as queen then wonder where the hell is princess treatment lmao.

[@Hollyberrystreats]

"Nice is different than good"

[@constellaespj4398]

That line was running through my head as I made it down to your comment. Granny was right: just be prepared.

[@Hollyberrystreats]

@constellaespj4398 Yay, someone got it! I really love how Sondheim dismisses niceness as basically worthless throughout that show. "You're soooo nice. You're not good, you're not bad. You're just NICE"

[@RapidBlindfolds]

‘Part time nice guy’ is spot on. It’s where the ‘hope she sees this bro’ meme comes in. As well as the ‘just cried thinking about (insert women’s issue) I’m 6”2 and make 100k a year btw’

[@MisterIncog]

I don’t think I’ve ever unironically said to a woman that I respect women. That shows with actions, words worth nothing in that regard.

[@heidim7732]

The kicker is, have you ever said it, unironically, to a man? Not as in busting into a conversation with that line, but as in after listening to some 'locker room talk' saying, "Strangely enough, I actually respect women as people. So I'm leaving before this gets weird." Sometimes words do matter. Actions are good too.

[@MisterIncog]

@ blank stare after some sexist joke works wonders. People easily ignore scolding, but can’t bear social ostracization and awkwardness.

[@casadastraphobia]

​@@MisterIncogperiod

[@Aelffwynn]

​@MisterIncog the staring thing is smart. I wish more men did that, instead of laughing uncomfortably and being too scared/ignorant to go against it.

[@ska187]

@@MisterIncog I’ve told women upfront that I don’t respect or care what they have to say. Still slept with her though haha

[@jumu7983]

I've really appreciated the language women have been using around "decentering men" since it gets at the heart of what's so damaging for many women. It's arguably the first step in deconstructing patriarchal systems and the most important for awareness in your interpersonal relationships. That said, I really think that mindset would be extremely helpful for so many men. The need to perform for and get approval from men is so damaging and it leads directly to first dehumanizing women but then a "man first, human second" attitude towards oneself as well as other men. It's really important to think of yourself as human first.

[@ejenglin]

Are you saying men should "decenter" other men!? I agree absolutely. 💯

[@galaxylucia1898]

Yes-this is how I think of my gender: human first!!!

[@kiraoshiro9251]

@@jumu7983 yeh❤️ I think what divides people in the end, especially apparent when it comes to toxic masculinity/femininity, is the idea that "dignity" should act as a shield from vulnerablity, embarrassment, guilt, etc. or that it's something anyone is entitled to when it's not really a matter of entitlement because it comes from within. thinking that when you (figuratively) are disassembled into your basic parts and exposed as the worm everyone secretly is inside, as the parts are mended again. that the worm you are is somehow inherently undignified and shameful. but to ever truly improve, one must first show true weakness. there is dignity in that because it's most people's big fear, to appear weak. if you overcome major insecurity, you'll be respected for it. even if it's just you alone who respects yourself. and you'd actually reap the benefits of real confidence rather than the extra insecurities as a result of feigned confidence. like imposter syndrome, or fear of the police finding out about h

[@KobyFCooking]

People just need to be avoidant and not care about relationships or other people for that matter.

[@ladykatza]

Married 24 years now. I found my old journals from when we first started dating and I was freaked out by his behavior and nature as being kind and caring for a really long time.

[@latrapp4641]

It starts with fathers. That’s where the conditioning begins.

[@galaxylucia1898]

And sadly it’s reinforced by EVERYONE ELSE, yes, even “boy moms”😤

[@storiesbymusic2-5-24]

You got that right! My own Dad is an example of this😮‍💨

[@xysarenottheprize]

Which is exactly why not every man deserves to be a father. The 80/20 isn’t real but it sure should be.

[@zarasha8220]

not possible for some families... like mine, where my kids' father passed away very young due to an aggressive cancer (both were in elementary school at the time) and as a single mom there's only so much you can do, especially once they're grown, in their 20s, and can all too easily fall down the radicalizing manosphere rabbit hole of the internet.

[@01watercress]

They're all 'nice' until they're not. Time is what tells you if they're really 'nice' or not. Especially if your not giving anything up or not interested in giving them whatever they want. And its all about compatability anyway. I've met men who I'm interested in who are not interested in me. (and visa versa BTW - I have to put that in because some people are low brow thinkers when it comes to women!) I'm an adult. They owe me nothing and I get over it and move on. I find the 'players' can actually do that part better than the ones who think they're 'nice'.

[@starstorm1267]

Saw some channel named “Libertarian Jesus” make a video about you claiming that you were “dangerous”. They also claimed women use “faulty math” to select bears over men in the “bear vs man” hypothetical question. Maybe you should look into them sometime, cause they seem to be the only “dangerous” one to me.

[@KxNOxUTA]

😂 Isn't if forever hilarious how they don't grasp the concept and how it's explicitly NOT about choosing any type of men, but a genuine assessment of how likely anyone from the group "men" is, to be safe? They're not even safe for each other, yet scream the loudest. In both scenarios, mind you: They scream the loudest about how dangerous their peers are, when they speak to women they want to "keep safe" AND the loudest in screaming how all men are frail harmless boys who cannot be touched by criticism, never mind be held accountable for anything at all!

[@rainpooper7088]

Women don't use math for the men vs bear thing, they're choosing between the two short ends of the sticks. That's literally all it is. What men like that don't get is that women do not think they will be able to successfully fight off the bear or "cheese the encounter" the way men think they will be able to fight off the other man, they assume they'll die or be severely hurt either way because most women are inherently at a severe physical disadvantage against both options in a way men are not. Women are conditioned to always run the worst case scenario through their heads to keep safe and if you compare the worst a bear can do to the worst men can and have done… Yeah, you choose the bear.

[@cerin59]

​@@rainpooper7088that's very intense. Im a woman and i know factually i have a much better chance of being unhurt and unbothered by a bear. I think you're missing a part... bears are not predatory. Very very few people die from or are injured by bears each year. So I assumed the choosing the bear thing speaks to that predictable quality. Bears are predictable, even the rare times they get deadly are only for if you're between them and cubs, between them and food if they're extremely hungry, or you scare them and it's the rare bear that doesn't just run off. They don't want a fight and are purely motivated by curiosity and hunger. The contrast is that with men there's no telling when they will become deadly, and it happens way more often than bears even attempt to hurt a human

[@cerin59]

​@@rainpooper7088also, it's untrue women have any less chance of surviving a bear encounter or attack than men. Why on earth would you assume that? You said women would not fare as well with either. That's a huge sexist untruth. There are many women who are stronger taller etc than many men. And with bears, it's about not attracting them with food, or using spray, sur horn, last resort gun. Allllll of which women can and do...uh...do

[@cerin59]

No, women are not at a severe physical disadvantage compared to men when it comes to a 200-800 pound bear. That's like saying a boy ant has more chance against a tornado than a girl ant. So, "no women" are at a severe disadvantage compared. Lol.

[@Wednesdaywoe1975]

Give him a chance! Never say no!You never know! Yeah, we do.

[@jessicarowley9631]

Just being nice must be possible because some men definitely manage it. One thing I will say about those men who are nice is that niceness is agenda free. If you, as a man, think being nice deserves a reward you are nasty. End of story.

[@anastazijaradisavljevic7589]

This is for sure the most insightful and detailed explanation of the nice guy phenomenon. Too bad that only concsiencous people will watch and interact with this content

[@zacharybosley1935]

This is a bit of a "no true scotsman" argument, no? "Only people already trying to do the work will find this video-" is pretty easily disproven, and probably will be in about 14 hours.

[@anastazijaradisavljevic7589]

@zacharybosley1935 I do forget that can be the case 🤔 I don't have a habit of commenting on videos that have points I don't care about, so I just assume hate-watchers are a statistical margin 😁

[@zacharybosley1935]

@@anastazijaradisavljevic7589 i wish that were true. Hate watching does a lot for the algorithm, otherwise we wouldn't have so much radicalizing content on so many platforms

[@InterplanarerPennersoeldner65]

Ah yes the "conscious crowd" , the true elite. You people are straight out narcissists.

[@pbozeman2000]

As soon as a man tells me he’s a nice guy I’m out the door 🏃🏽‍♀️💨 women evolve because we are survivors

[@LaZog11]

Add-on: nice guys can also define what is nice to women based on being better to them than the worst of men they know, which bypasses what women define as nice. This adds to the nice guys being angry when they aren't perceived as nice by women they want to return some sort of desire

[@veevs]

"Nice is different than good." - Sondheim

[@eliasmg9144]

Musical nerds gang RISE UP!

[@jasonwoodcock2014]

Thank you for continuing to highlight and help all men see the things we often cannot see as a result of not having the lived experience of most women and the behaviors and actions they have had to suffer from most men. "Being nice" doesn't cut it; real compassion, curiosity, and understanding are needed.

[@CB66941]

When I left Christianity, there is so much you have to untangle and unlearn once you leave, and one thing I have recently tried to practice is a big emphasis that trust MUST be earned throughout the relationship, especially when there is a stark contrast between privilege and power dynamics, in contrast to demanding faith and love for some action I cannot substantiate. My father often brought up his role as a breadwinner and how he solidified the security of his family, even when I don't criticize him for the rest of his crappy behavior. It's an implied power play. Imagine living life thinking you are loved, but ignoring the idea that you deserve eternal torment if you ever leave that umbrella of "love". I can't tell you how much gaslighting you do to yourself under such a system. EDIT: Putting it here because youtube doesn't want to post my replies for some reason. I guess trying to describe religious language is too sensitive for them. Hopefully this stays. First off, enough with the dishonest analogies. Who is the one who made it rain in the first place and could stop it at anytime? I shouldn't have to expect to thank an arsonist for creating a fire and then trying to save me from it. This is a god, that made the rules of what happens to human beings, (who he made, and who he decided their capabilities and vulnerabilities) that reject him. That decided that rejection of him, justifies him throwing you into a pit of eternal torture. And don't give me the BS that it is my free will and that I am responsible for getting myself tortured. The bible mentions that I "will be thrown". I swear religious people sound like a mob boss who gave his underling a "choice" between letting his children be killed or continue to pledge loyalty. This isn't a choice, it is an ultimatum at this point. The women that we have been talking about here chose to leave their relationships by their free will, never mind the reasons. And yet here we condemn the men that go after them as violent retribution. So why is it that every time I bring this up with an all powerful God, SUDDENLY the blame is on the people that leave? And we don't spotlight the fact that god commits violence against those that leave? How insane is it that women that leave shouldn't have to face violent "consequences" but apostates that leave (and even unbelievers) have to face consequences that are violent for leaving? Stop blaming the people who leave, and start looking at the person that was a significant factor in them leaving. This god has all the power in the world. I could think of so many ways that involve separation from God that DOESN'T involve eternal torture. God could have readily placed me in a pleasant place outside of heaven with a door that I can knock on if I want a relationship. And he shouldn't have any problem with that because he placed me here already without my say so anyway. What God only limits the prodigal son to earth and not in the afterlife? Hell, God could have made us like himself. Made it so that if I don't want a relationship with God, that's fine. I can't be hurt from it. He could have made all of us like him, ready to have a relationship when we are ready. No death, no fear from uncertainty, no threat of hell, like him. Think of how we express love, care and compassion to people. You don't have to have a relationship with people to express love. Real love doesn't expect anything, and I am very certain it does not advocate for active violence against those it loves. Real love doesn't expect reciprocation, because of that it doesn't feel jealousy, because jealousy implies a loss that is expected of reciprocation. Yet here we have a god who calls himself Jealous. If he calls himself love, my rejection of him should not justify his violence against me. The bible itself says there is no fear in love, because fear has to do with punishment. YET people tell me God loves unbelievers but will certainly destroy them for not loving him, which WILL inspire fear in many people. I dare you to leave and not feel fear afterwards. And before you say crap like "God respects free will", no he doesn't. I didn't choose to be here. I didn't choose to be born. I didn't choose to live a life of suffering. I didn't choose to be a mortal man. These are things God decided should happen to humans. He could have made humans just like himself. God made humans small so that he might seem great. You should always be skeptical of any power that claims to be good. The more power an individual has, the more that individual has to work to gain my trust, because they always have the means to mess up my life regardless of what I do or don't do. Also if this God really wants a relationship: show up? Why is it in this relationship I bear the consequences of not doing what he would want, but he doesn't bear any consequence when he doesn't do what I want? Because he created me? Then this is about power then, not about goodness. Many children rightfully estranged their parents for being crappy people. "You seem to be struggling with the fact that the consequences sound too harsh to you." Ah yes, because damnation by eternal torture isn't that harsh right? "but he did give you the choice to be born into the body you are in, so that also was your choice, not his." More gaslighting. I hear this from Islamic apologetics, where they try to put the blame on you saying: "you chose to be in this world, even if you don't remember it because of some magical potion you had to drink before being born in this world and that you knew what would happen in life, so really you got nothing but yourself to blame." How disgusting the lows that such people have to stoop to save their god from being criticized for being evil. I swear, religion is the heart of toxic masculinity if these are the lengths people will go to.

[@misspriss2482]

"ignoring the idea that you deserve eternal torment if you ever leave that umbrella of "love" God doesn't feel that you deserve eternal torment if you ever leave. Jesus came so that no one will perish. Here's the issue. Consciously rejecting God is deliberately choosing eternal separation from God. Scripture tells you what eternal separation from God means. God is not going to force you to do anything. If you seek Him, you will find Him. If you don't want Him, the day will come when He gives you what you want - eternity without Him. To use your analogy, it's raining outside. Jesus is an umbrella that you use to get inside the house so that you won't get wet. If you reject the umbrella and refuse to go inside the house, you will be stuck outside in the rain. What you seem to want is to live life on your own terms and not have any eternal consequences and that is not reality for anybody. Choices have consequences. You seem to be struggling with the fact that the consequences sound too harsh to you.

[@callmecharlie4250]

​​@@misspriss2482 piss off. worship me, the literally omnipotent being, creator of the universe that can do anything or suffer forever is not a choice. that's like saw logic. oh, I'm actually not a murderer because I only set up the traps and forced you into the situation, you had the choice to save yourself.

[@maybemablemaples2144]

​@@misspriss2482 you just proved OP's point. That love shouldn't be transactional. Jesus never said that.

[@CB66941]

@@misspriss2482 What a dishonest analogy. Who is the one who made it rain in the first place and could stop it at anytime? This is a god, that made the rules of what happens to human beings, (who he made, and who he decided their capabilities and vulnerabilities) that reject him. That decided that rejection of him, justifies him throwing you into a pit of eternal torture. And don't give me the BS that it is my free will and that I am responsible for getting myself tortured. The bible mentions that I "will be thrown". You sound like a mob boss who gave his underling a "choice" between letting his children be killed or continue to pledge loyalty. This isn't a choice, it is an ultimatum at this point. The women that we have been talking about here chose to leave their relationships by their free will, never mind the reasons. And yet here we condemn the men that go after them as violent retribution. So why is it that every time I bring this up with an all powerful God, SUDDENLY the blame is on the people that leave? And we don't spotlight the fact that god commits violence against those that leave? How insane is it that women that leave shouldn't have to face violent "consequences" but apostates that leave (and even unbelievers) have to face consequences that are violent for leaving? Stop blaming the people who leave, and start looking at the person that was a significant factor in them leaving. This god has all the power in the world. I could think of so many ways that involve separation from God that DOESN'T involve eternal torture. God could have readily placed me in a pleasant place outside of heaven with a door that I can knock on if I want a relationship. And he shouldn't have any problem with that because he placed me here already without my say so anyway. What God only limits the prodigal son to earth and not in the afterlife? Hell, God could have made us like himself. Made it so that if I don't want a relationship with God, that's fine. I can't be hurt from it. He could have made all of us like him, ready to have a relationship when we are ready. No death, no fear from uncertainty, no threat of hell, like him. Think of how we express love, care and compassion to people. You don't have to have a relationship with people to express love. Real love doesn't expect anything, and I am very certain it does not advocate for active violence against those it loves. Real love doesn't expect reciprocation, because of that it doesn't feel jealousy, because jealousy implies a loss that is expected of reciprocation. Yet here we have a god who calls himself Jealous. If he calls himself love, my rejection of him should not justify his violence against me. The bible itself says there is no fear in love, because fear has to do with punishment. YET people tell me God loves unbelievers but will certainly destroy them for not loving him, which WILL inspire fear in many people. I dare you to leave and not feel fear afterwards. And before you say crap like "God respects free will", no he doesn't. I didn't choose to be here. I didn't choose to be born. I didn't choose to live a life of suffering. I didn't choose to be a mortal man. These are things God decided should happen to humans. He could have made humans just like himself. God made humans small so that he might seem great. You should always be skeptical of any power that claims to be good. The more power an individual has, the more that individual has to work to gain my trust, because they always have the means to mess up my life regardless of what I do or don't do. Also if this God really wants a relationship: show up? Why is it in this relationship I bear the consequences of not doing what he would want, but he doesn't bear any consequence when he doesn't do what I want? Because he created me? Then this is about power then, not about goodness. Many children rightfully estranged their parents for being crappy people. "You seem to be struggling with the fact that the consequences sound too harsh to you." Ah yes, because damnation by eternal torture is just too harsh you know?

[@CB66941]

@@misspriss2482 What a dishonest analogy. Who is the one who made it rain in the first place and could stop it at anytime? This is a god, that made the rules of what happens to human beings, (who he made, and who he decided their capabilities and vulnerabilities) that reject him. That decided that rejection of him, justifies him throwing you into a pit of eternal t*rture. And don't give me the response that it is my free will and that I am responsible for getting myself t*rtured. The bible mentions that I "will be thrown". You sound like a mob boss who gave his underling a "choice" between letting his children be k*lled or continue to pledge loyalty. This isn't a choice, it is an ultimatum at this point. The women that we have been talking about here chose to leave their relationships by their free will, never mind the reasons. And yet here we condemn the men that go after them as vi*lent retribution. So why is it that every time I bring this up with an all powerful God, SUDDENLY the blame is on the people that leave? And we don't spotlight the fact that god commits vi*lence against those that leave? How insane is it that women that leave shouldn't have to face vi*lent "consequences" but apostates that leave (and even unbelievers) have to face consequences that are vi*lent for leaving? Stop blaming the people who leave, and start looking at the person that was a significant factor in them leaving. This god has all the power in the world. I could think of so many ways that involve separation from God that DOESN'T involve eternal t*rture. God could have readily placed me in a pleasant place outside of heaven with a door that I can knock on if I want a relationship. And he shouldn't have any problem with that because he placed me here already without my say so anyway. What God only limits the prodigal son to earth and not in the afterlife? Heck, God could have made us like himself. Made it so that if I don't want a relationship with God, that's fine. I can't be hurt from it. He could have made all of us like him, ready to have a relationship when we are ready. No death, no fear from uncertainty, no threat of hell, like him. Think of how we express love, care and compassion to people. You don't have to have a relationship with people to express love. Real love doesn't expect anything, and I am very certain it does not advocate for active vi*lence against those it loves. Real love doesn't expect reciprocation, because of that it doesn't feel jealousy, because jealousy implies a loss that is expected of reciprocation. Yet here we have a god who calls himself Jealous. If he calls himself love, my rejection of him should not justify his vi*lence against me. The bible itself says there is no fear in love, because fear has to do with punishment. YET people tell me God loves unbelievers but will certainly destr*y them for not loving him, which WILL inspire fear in many people. I dare you to leave and not feel fear afterwards. And before you say stuff like "God respects free will", no he doesn't. I didn't choose to be here. I didn't choose to be born. I didn't choose to live a life of suff*ring. I didn't choose to be a mortal man. These are things God decided should happen to humans. He could have made humans just like himself. God made humans small so that he might seem great. You should always be skeptical of any power that claims to be good. The more power an individual has, the more that individual has to work to gain my trust, because they always have the means to mess up my life regardless of what I do or don't do. Also if this God really wants a relationship: show up? Why is it in this relationship I bear the consequences of not doing what he would want, but he doesn't bear any consequence when he doesn't do what I want? Because he created me? Then this is about power then, not about goodness. Many children rightfully estranged their parents for being cra*py people. "You seem to be struggling with the fact that the consequences sound too harsh to you." Ah yes, because damn*tion by eternal t*rture is just too harsh you know?

[@cbpd89]

To quote Stephen Sondheim: nice is different than good.

[@danic9304]

I realised many years ago that the men I found attractive were not good for me Not because I was treated badly by prev boyfriends just that most of the fiction (tv, movies books) were full of complicated, emotiobally unavailable male heroes - and because my Dad was a gruff loner

[@humanbeing2282]

I’ve never liked the phrasing of “you should be nice 24/7” because to me it implies a message of “you shouldn’t let your performance slip.” I know that’s not what is being meant as but it comes off that way and I think anyone stuck in a transactional mindset might view that statement that way. Instead we should be encouraging men to find being nice intrinsically valuable, that it’s worthwhile for its own sake. The result is that you end up being nice 24/7 but it should be phrased as a metric and not the goal.

[@personneici2595]

My partners are so kind to me it's like they don't even hate me a little and it's so disconcerting - I'm genuinely waiting for them to turn on me and rip me to shreds lmfao it's a problem

[@charleston1789]

I’m sorry that you are struggling with accepting that kindness, but it’s awesome you have partners that are kind people. I hope it continues to be positive and you can unlearn that pain and heal :) you deserve it

[@Thewhiteandorange]

that conversation definitely sounded like attachment troubles, which start in early childhood and can haunt people well into their adulthood.

[@Demonsta]

Sorry but I think you're also missing the point if you think any attachment troubles in today's dating world must be rooted in some level of childhood trauma or other childhood maladjustment. Watch the rest of the video. The way people react to one another will change and evolve well into adulthood, it's not something set in stone during childhood, dating expectations are developed through dating which is again not something that happens in early childhood, and while childhood trauma can inform those expectations the fact is the vast majority of people will learn through study or experience. To chalk this up as something learned in childhood completely talks over the conversation those women are having about their DATING EXPERIENCES. You are doing exactly that the guy in the video is talking about lol.

[@radicalreactions1633]

@@Demonsta Actually you're both wrong. Do some real research before spouting BS.

[@Thewhiteandorange]

@@Demonsta that's a very long way to say you don't what you're talking about and are intentionally misreading my comment, but I appreciate the effort.

[@Thewhiteandorange]

@@radicalreactions1633 take your own advice.

[@Celestein]

Kindness and integrity are how you behave even when nobody is rewarding, seeing or admiring you for it. It is a contract with your own self and core values. It often is a sacrifice because you don't necessarily receive the kindness you give, but authentic values require discipline and sacrifice to protect them, otherwise they crumble easily.

[@wendyblaauw2578]

I view kind as an intrinsic trait and nice as behaviour.

[@vanobe5853]

As many women said already, I'd rather be alone in the woods with a bear.

[@yongzhiyuee6523]

This was very well said!! You're one of my favourite male youtubers who talk on these issues

[@SvalbardSleeperDistrict]

This channel needs a couple more digits in viewership stats of each video. Or, more accurately, our societies need that.

[@BLZ231]

Yeah. While I don’t agree with everything he says, he still deserves a hell of a lot more attention than fuckheads like Andrew Tate, or really any of the manosphere grifters.

[@catche85]

I've never seen these topics be so well understood and articulated. Thank you. Just found the channel and excited to dive in.

[@Mrsgmuller73]

Honestly, it probably has to do with growing up in an unloving family. We feel "safe" in what is familiar for us, and if we grow up in a distant family or even an abusive family, being treated well is unfamiliar, so it causes an ick on the brain

[@NeighborhoodOfBlue]

"nice" is fake. Goodness and kindness is not.

[@radicalreactions1633]

They mean the same things, stop trying to split hairs with an electron microscope.

[@AliceVFame]

They do not, but something tells me you didn't watch the video that discusses the difference and you're just here to argue. Does this adequately feed your attention seeking?

[@ariaflame-au]

@@radicalreactions1633 Unfortunately you are incorrect. Perhaps you think you are a Nice Guy.

[@QWERTY-gp8fd]

just arguing about semantics at this point.

[@KxNOxUTA]

Also: you are not "nice" and you're and incredibly far cry away from "genuinely kind", if your kindness depends on how others behave, and not on your own internal moral and ethical compass of how YOU show up in the world, because it's the right way to handle YOURSELF.

[@BLZ231]

Eh, I see what you’re saying, but I don’t fully agree. Kindness and respect are a two way street. If someone voted for Trump or stayed home, I’m not going to respect them, and my kindness will be limited to very basic civility. If someone demonstrates through their actions that they are a bad person I’m not going to pretend that that doesn’t matter, and my empathy is limited to people who at least try to do the right thing.

[@MrQuantumInc]

A lot of the stuff here is true, but doesn't relate to the example. The black guy was also misinterpreting them, but he was pretty clear that he thought the women were pro-patriarchy. What the women were describing was attachment issues, psychologists have studied this very well and it is mostly caused by parenting, not just past relationships. What Expatriarch is describing are trust issues, which doesn't explain why anyone would feel "bored". Attachment issues go much deeper, and are not based on a reasonable reaction.

[@dodobarthel2249]

Your comment needs more likes. This seems to be exactly what the woman is talking about! You learn your basic expectations of relationships as a child from your parents and it seems that she was not treated with genuine kindness then, so she doesn't know how to handle it now. Really hope she and everyone in her situation has the support to work through this and get better!

[@RadishTheFool]

If going out of your way to be nice to a woman feels like hard work and a sacrifice that she should totally appreciate, then that's a clear signal that you're not actually kind. Kind people are kind all the time, to everyone including themselves (and they require others to do the same). And then ON TOP OF THAT, they offer their unique personality. Kind people seek out other kind people, and then figure out together if their personalities jive enough to form a friendship or romantic relationship. People who are not aware that actual kindness exists, are blind to these options. They are unkind and/or have only met unkindness in their lives. So putting on a facade of niceness requires effort, and they feel that effort deserves a reward. To them, acting nice is like a mating dance without any additional meaning. Their niceness was perfectly choreographed, so now they want to mate. Otherwise, the dance was for naught.

[@zacharybosley1935]

This is a deeply troubling sentiment.

[@rickmel-q7m]

@@zacharybosley1935 you're one of the "nice guys" the video talked about, aren't you?

[@zacharybosley1935]

@rickmel-q7m how are you drawing that conclusion? I just don't believe in magic, and spontaneous innate decency sounds magical.

[@shaezchannel]

Look for a kind man, not a nice one. Kind is in the soul, nice can be performative.

[@storiesbymusic2-5-24]

This makes me think about my dad. He acts nice, but he's really a transactional person. My mom had pointed out that he never made any sacrifices for the family, and his response was that he goes to work and funds the household 🙄

[@KingOpenReview]

"You're doing that thing again where you take everything I say out of context. You're trying to make it look like I think Coolsville sucks."

[@meghasanyal4861]

Kindness is what we are looking for and niceness is what we fall for. Kindness over niceness is my mantra that's why. Mom taught me to pay for my own food, whether I am on a date or with friends. At the time I didn't know she was protecting me from men who would expect me to sleep with them in exchange for dinner. Sorry guys I buy my own food, you don't get to buy my energy.

[@Vee_Davis-wb9wd]

i used to say nice guys are not nice for everyone.....alot of men as this man explains are only nice as a means to an end...being a nice person does not mean u are only that to get something out of some one...how long are u going to play that role!?!?! men just cant be nice or generous or compassionate and the ones that are come from a very small demographic.......its sad really cause women were told from little girls to b nice its not nice to be rude etc but men got, hes a boy!!! boys will be boys ..and they wonder why women are finally saying enough!!! and opting out....lets go 4B lets make it happen on a global scale

[@BLZ231]

With all the shit going on I really can’t blame women for joining the 4B movement. My one slightly selfish request would be for women to at least consider making an exception for men who’ve had a vasectomy.

[@Vee_Davis-wb9wd]

@@BLZ231 lol i can dig it

[@love196627]

can you please do some videos on how these issues work when the man / women dynamic isn't romantic? because we all have the same problem with guys at work, etc.

[@AD-g5p]

Nice is different than good. Nice should be a default, what you are because you have good manners and can interact with people in society. Being actually good is harder, but that's what I'm looking for. Someone who's actually a good person.

[@PenguinFairy13]

Oh my god the way they said they had to remind themselves is exactly what I’ve been though too. I had a crazy childhood with a mom who dragged me and my siblings from state to state to state for man after man after man. I got out and now live alone. My boyfriend is the most caring and loving guy I have ever met. I truly feel adored by him. But for the first few months we were dating I kept having those thoughts and then I realized it was because I was wayyyyy too close to chaos growing up. We’ve been going out for over a year now and he has not changed, only solidified my choice ❤

[@Jennifer83881]

Excellent observation & breakdown.

[@rozyscozy]

Bomb alert - an explosive cannister of TRUTH has just gone off!

[@Cauldron6]

This is so important. I've seen this comment a couple times already but it bears repeating until it's internalized: "Nice is different from good."

[@higurashikai09]

I am lucky to have an amazing father and parents who have never fought because they respect each other and listen to each other. It has really shown me how fake other men are because they don't respect me at all. They only act nice to get something out of it.

[@sonja4164]

Well said!

[@Raheachan]

I almost cried over this video, I feel so understood in my point of view and experience aß a woman. Trank you.

[@irisflora903]

Very powerful video. Thanks for breaking this down!

[@colbyboucher6391]

Nothing on how it's "boring", though.

[@nightowl9236]

Congrats on 10k man! 🎉 Absolutely love watching your channel grow, much deserved.

[@tinkergnomad]

"Nice guys," are usually cosplaying "good men." That's why we're constantly on high alert. After a while the facade drops, and usually when that happens things get ugly.

[@zacharybosley1935]

Would the world be significantly better if Nice Guys didn't make an effort at decency? Like, Tomorrow, if all the performative nice guys in the world realized that acting like a saint wouldn't get them laid, would we be in a better position if they acted on their less performative impulses?

[@whatevershewantspod]

Thanks again for the clarification ❤

[@uberuncle714]

The amount of times I have heard guys think that I’m being friendly with a woman because I wanna sleep with her is dumbfounding.

[@RachelNabors]

I've been used this men having An Agenda since my breasts came in at age 12. Suddenly, I couldn't trust Niceness from men. Previously, if a man or boy gave me a toy or a snack, it didn't mean anything. Suddenly, unwanted touching, hugging, attention, came with Niceness. I stopped trusting kindness. I stopped trusting Woke guys after getting talked over by them. I noticed when I was dating after divorce that "exciting" and "kind" didn't come in the same package. I also learned from my therapist that people raised in trauma or unstable homes often feel like "anxiety is home" and "stability is uncomfortable." Over the pandemic I was bubbled with a "boring" man. If I hadn't been forced to slow down and think about where that feeling was coming from, I might've missed something truly great

[@crystalwebster2005]

Manipulative people have to convince you that they are amazing right off the bat where as normal people don’t. So a lot of us expect people to be amazing and knock your socks off in order to feel a connection. I think it’s like codependency or something you have to teach yourself out of if you’re being taken advantage of

[@efi5750]

Linguist here - loved the video, but I have a totally unrelated question. Where are you from, and where are you based? Because I can hear traces of a British accent in the way you speak, but I feel like American English is still more prominent in your speech. Did you perhaps use to live in the UK, and then moved to the US?

[@John-hz8xy]

Am I crazy to think that healthy relationships will have its boring days?

[@teddyinbed]

judge a man off his intentions, behavior and actions. Never give yourself to a predatory man.

[@rayzerot]

It's wild the number of people trying to sow division and animosity between the genders. People trying to make money off of that anger

[@TheCakeIsALie-1]

Women and girls who do like these sorts of men often do so with the frame of mind that the devil that you know is better than the devil you don't. Performative niceness is a lot more off putting than someone who's upfront about being an a-hole.

[@wiglicious.]

Literally this is why I believed it’s not the outward big0ts you really have to worry about the most, it’s the ones who are enablers of it(aka the diet big0ts)

[@IronBroccoli]

The target of the criticism indicates your bias and changes the agency in the solution. You can see this as certain women exposing their toxic expectations vs men not understanding their toxic effects on certain women, or as women prejudging every new guy vs men failing to understand women, or it’s the effect of modern dating vs the lack of traditional dating values. Nice strings attached is not gender specific a lot of relationships are transactional at some level and at some detail. Abuse can come from not having favors reciprocated in which the person gives too much and feels taken advantage of. That would be an example of nice person not keeping score to their own disadvantage.

[@bdott1538]

Abuse comes when your boundaries are stepped on. A person who never sets a boundary will often be taken advantage of…which is what is meant by being TOO NICE. Men, often will mask as a guy with no boundaries, and then when the woman sets a boundary, he’ll explode bc his actions aren’t being reciprocated. This is a form of manipulation. And it’s why women often don’t respond well to nice men after a few experiences with this in the dating world. Because the niceness IS performative and a manipulation tactic itself and not genuine.

[@girletherial]

Thanks for another great video.

[@adrianhartso7060]

The video gives two separate scenarios. One being leary of "nice" men because it may be a front the other being niceness or kindness is viewed as boring or lame.

[@jjohnsengraciesmom]

I was raised to believe women should be treated well by men and should be safe with a man. But nowadays, it sounds like everyone has lost their mind if online videos is any indocation. This is a good video.

[@strawberrysangria1474]

I’m attracted to guys that do nice things for other people and smile at staff. If he treats me like that too, I’m seeing hearts. However, I’m traumatized by bad experiences, and when people are nice to me, I assume they want something I’m not comfortable giving. Being nice only to your interest makes you look fake.

[@---tc8km]

Last nice guy pretended to be nice for two weeks until we had sex and then the true self came out: angry, entitled and selfsih. It was heartbreaking to be YET AGAIN fooled into thinking a man could actually be a good human.

[@ska187]

He still smashed. That’s the goal lol.

[@QWERTY-gp8fd]

bro took one for the team. another traumatized 304.

[@jimchoy6764]

@@ska187well than he should stay away from women than

[@bdott1538]

@@ska187weren’t you just whining that women don’t like nice guys..? But here you are rooting for the very reason women don’t like nice guys? Yall stay keeping yourselves single.

[@wiglicious.]

@@bdott1538yep, this is why they’re so lonely now but they’ll just keep trying to blame women

[@AmandaBezemek]

PREACH!

[@SilentDragon363]

There seems to be a lot of emotionally intelligent people in these comments. How can I approach a girl without coming off as creepy or artificial? Dating is a complicated minefield that im too scared to walk into.

[@ska187]

“You just walk up and say hi” That’s what feminized men will tell you. If people actually find you really attractive, they will make themselves available to you without doing anything. If you aren’t, there is no point in forcing open closed doors

[@skkadoot9533]

The thing is that kind of behavior works on both men and women. There are plenty of psychological effects that explain it, things that come easily with no effort typically hold less values in our head, so we tend to want those we perceive as difficult to get, humans inherently like the risk. That's why gambling is addicting, dopamine is released mostly by the expectation of the outcome, not the outcome itself, so people who ocasionally give affection and act distant to us later will make we want to pursue them, because their affection is something we have to earn, and that creates expectation on us which makes our dopamine sky rocket, the uncertainty is literally adicting, i've personally never felt nearly as attracted to the girls that did show clear interest in me than to the ones that i was unsure if they were interested or not or just straight up were not, because fantasizing about finally getting them and seeing what it is like just felt too good.

[@wiglicious.]

But how far does this actually go, I’m curious cause I as a woman who would never date risky men so much so that I would end an entire marriage if he started acting like a risk I typically don’t stick around for the full on crazy in general But then again I’m not really gonna be dating men anymore, and I won’t marry one, so I don’t know if that skewers it or not

[@skkadoot9533]

@ never say never, everyone thinks they are immune to stuff until they fall for it. But that aside, having healthy habits, goals, good friends etc. makes those dopamine traps less attractive, that applies to most addictions, the worse your life is, the more you’ll cling to those quick pleasures

[@wiglicious.]

@ oh no I definitely get it, it’s actually one of my biggest pet peeves when ppl tell women not to fall for the manipulation, like manipulation isn’t a whole mind f*** to begin with So yeah in conclusion I guess I meant I *try* to stay away from risky guys cause like you said it can happen to anyone and ppl usually assume that they’re immune to it when they’re not and I agree with that

[@rickmel-q7m]

that's not how it works... this is an example of selection bias, if anything. for example: if you had to travel 50 miles for a loaf of bread, vs having a pizza delivired to your home, would you get much more pleasure from the loaf of bread? in a realistic scenario: no one would ever travel 50 miles for a loaf of bread, because it isn't worth it. and that's the key: people will only push through the hardship for something they really want, and the satisfaction comes from getting something they really wanted, rather than the difficulty in getting it. people go through the hardships of medschool because they really want to become doctors in the first place. anyone who doesn't really want to become a doctor will quit early on, because the trouble isn't worth the payoff for them.

[@skkadoot9533]

@@rickmel-q7m and i don’t disagree with that, but what gives them the motivation to keep pushing for the reward is the dopamine released by the expectation of the result. And when you don’t have the thing, what defines the value of the thing is how you imagine it, and you usually imagine it as better than it is, which makes it seem worth pursuing

[@Cat_in_the_sun]

You can Collab with The Speech Prof. I like both of you guys' channels so much. :)

[@HPLaserJet2100tn]

I only accept attention from men who are respectful. The rest get ignored

[@siennahoward6957]

Love bombing is traumatic. If somebody love bombs a person but then they change and their personality flips just because they didn't get their way once or twice, that makes it hard for a person to trust another person who is nice to them because they think they are faking it just to get something from them. Most normal women want to date someone who is kind and a good person, but sometimes it's hard to gain someone's trust. People can tell when something is real or fake and a lot of the time it's just a matter of whether someone decides to acknowledge it or not.

[@yaash4123]

This is sad and makes a lot of sense.

[@TheWorldofFilara]

Side note: I'm starting blur the lines between you and Alex Horne - I've been watching too much Taskmaster & Expatriarch 😅

[@strawberrysangria1474]

If Expatriarch ever does a collab with Greg Davies, we’ll be given Tasks like “End the patriarchy, you have 10 minutes”!

[@tinahackney8111]

Yea i remember boys going around slapping and pinching girls butts in school in junior high in the 80's like it was normal and ok 🙄🙄🙄

[@bubullibooooo9928]

No lies told 😢

[@inkspecialist]

Bravo

[@sacredpaw]

💯💯Truth.

[@lygiabird6988]

Where did you get that picture behind you? I want it

[@who818]

....so men can understand

[@borntodiy]

A man who is not nice feels more honest because we don’t believe men actually love women. With our own eyes on a larger scale, we can see they don’t care about us, so one that does is an anomaly or lying

[@BLZ231]

On the one hand there are plenty of good men who do love and respect women, so it’s not accurate to assume that they’re an anomaly. But on the other hand this election has shown that good men aren’t as common as they should be. Of all the eligible men voters about 71% either voted for Trump or stayed home, leaving only about 29% who did the right thing. As a man in the 29% I thought we were better than this, and it’s been depressing and infuriating to find out that I was wrong. Though with that said there was still a shockingly large number of women who either voted for Trump or stayed home, which baffles me even more. I guess the main takeaway from this election is that the majority of people, men and women, are lazy and stupid and don’t actually pay attention to what’s going on. They’ll get exactly what they deserve, it just really sucks that we have to suffer along with them.

[@Thicken_Brob]

Dating must be really challenging for men from Nice (France), huh

[@JG-cq6ud]

💯

[@moniquem1873]

❤❤❤

[@marpro212]

I don’t get upset with a “no”. I’ve stayed good and genuine friends with several women whom I dated, because they were very straightforward with me. I get upset with being messed around or strung along for months. I think I can tell quite well when a woman just wants to be friends with me, vs showing romantic interest. I suspect the trouble is some women don’t know which of those two things they want, so think they can have both in the same guy. Being friends is a good prerequisite to being a relationship, sure, but not so much the other way round. You can’t say to someone “just friends” whilst still wanting to do all the things you would in a relationship. I had a recent experience where a woman was quite consistently flirting with me, getting increasingly physical, asking me out, and we even went on holiday together for a week. And then at the end of all that, once I decided I liked her enough I asked her out properly, to which she said “I never saw you that way”. If she had for some reason changed her mind and said so, I’d have been much more understanding. Subsequently, she at least admitted to flirting with me, which often times women won’t even admit that much and will pretend that they were just being friendly and that *the man* misinterpreted them. This too, is gaslighting. Everyone needs to stop fking lying to one another, and be a bit more self aware of the signals they send other people. Now, unfortunately, I don’t think this sort of behaviour is all that rare in women at all. It’s become a rarity in my social circles, because I tend to cut people like that off. And perhaps ironically, this has actually meant I’ve cut off more male friends than I have women (I will cut someone off if I see them treat others like that as well, not just myself). Lots of people, I assume for their own convenience than out of respect for others’ time and energy, like to subtly mess those other people around as if to keep them around as an ‘option’ but without making any sort of commitment. But it’s all very coy, undercover, indirect, and open to misinterpretation… which could be resolved if those people at least had an honest conversation about it, but some people instead use that ambiguity as a further opportunity to gaslight others by telling them that they were just being “nice” or “friendly” when in fact they _were_ flirting but perhaps looking for something different and wouldn’t say what exactly.

[@holaCarolina]

Min, when i said "you are not (a nice guy)" what i meant, hoping, that you were not just a "Nice guy" because you were dressed in green and saying 'hate us'. I hoped you didnt mean it like that. I hoped for all of you to be good men, kind humans. It is just a hope that refuses to die (mainly because i feel at your mercy sometimes) but you are men and it is difficult to trust men.

[@rushiaskinnerwallace6175]

🔥🙏🏼💕

[@GhostOfMrPickles]

gaslighting. all the gaslighting. look inside and find out why it makes you uncomfortable.

[@hannabio2770]

❤️❤️💛💚

[@myrillionissilly]

That's all well and good but we're all adults here. We should be able to tell if someone is genuinely being nice to us or being nice with an agenda. You cannot just be downright rude to a genuinely nice person with no agenda and go on a podcast to seek validation and sympathy for it. I've met many women in my life. Being a good person is an attractive trait among real women. My own partner was attracted to me for this reason and no, I wasn't being nice to get with an agenda when I met her. Someone who has a tendency of being rude to people who have done nothing to deserve it and then goes on a podcast to defend that behaviour isn't a regular person. They don't represent their demographic. They should own up to their own problems and seek help.

[@williamchamberlain2263]

I think you're underestimating how well many guys mask their aggression under a 'nice' facade to get close to women.

[@myrillionissilly]

@@williamchamberlain2263 Then those men need to go get help, just like if you are being rude to someone who is genuinely being nice to you and then going to a podcast to get sympathy, you need to get help. It's time we stop pitting these extremists against each other and pretend that's the discourse. People in real life don't face these issues. We've become culturally divided due to this type of narrative and we all saw the results. Particularly, modern feminism has done tremendous damage to our culture. It created the TERF movement and radicalized young male voters to the wrong side of history. We need to stop weaponizing feminism to defend people making poor choices. When people make poor choices, they need to take accountability and get help instead of seeking refuge in an ideology.

[@wiglicious.]

@@williamchamberlain2263they always do until it affects them then all sudden they understand

[@jimchoy6764]

@@myrillionissillydude you almost never know their intentions until you see signs or if you can read their mind

[@bdott1538]

@@myrillionissillymen don’t get help though. And yall don’t tell men to get help, yall cheer on them lying and abusing women on one hand, and then tell women to choose better. And when women choose cars, bears, or themselves, yall get mad that women don’t trust men the way you want to be trusted….but haven’t done the work to earn said trust.

[@zacharybosley1935]

Commenting for the algorithm

[@unpackinfluence]

lol