Special: Twelfth Night Press Conference/ Fumble Day Game/ Exhibition Match - No More Jockeys

[@Whiter1]

“Is my job, a walking job‽”, shouted Key, riled.

[@BodywiseMustard]

That first comma doesn't belong.

[@thevanityproject6480]

I think the Hugh Hefner bit was the most I’ve ever seen Horne laugh.

[@Friedfrog5]

When you think about it, this is a lovely surprise. Over.

[@yohini5470]

"It is a very lovely surprised when you think about it" he said dryly. Over.

[@MB-xw1tu]

I just sort of love that Mark spends a decent amount of lifetime fidgets attempting to paste down one section of hair, ignoring the fact that none of his hair really complies with gravity anyway. And since I live in the US and there was an attempted coup this afternoon, it was pretty great to have this to watch. Thanks, guys!

[@danielp6984]

said M B, exhausted.

[@wikiwikiwa]

lol

[@mattbarr6732]

I'd argue Achilles had a near-death experience every time he took his shoes off.

[@Lexi_lexis]

Presumably he wore sandals because olden days, so his heel was out a significant amount of the time, regardless of whether his footwear was on or off.

[@keytostart7053]

Total Maverick Renegade, Achilles

[@michaelcolbourn6719]

@@Lexi_lexis I reckon if I was Achilles I'd slap some material over the heel of that sandal. A little protection at least.

[@chriskaprys]

Job thongs.

[@earldizon8532]

If this series had a trailer, it needs to have the most dramatic moment of Tim Key's "So is my job a walking job? Is my job a walking job?" It'll be like a tense courtroom scene.

[@froghornleghorn]

For the rest of the week I will be asking myself and others: "Is my job a walking job?"

[@RFC-3514]

And if it gets cold, are your gloves job gloves?

[@Lastielion]

The Hugh Hefner bit was a very pleasing piece of comedy

[@benbinks8117]

When you think about it, Achilles definitely walked about more than the average snooker player.

[@VideoNozoki]

Absolutely.

[@samchadwick4247]

unbelievable skills of evasion from Horne. a masterclass. he survived two stonewall challenges on a literal walking near-death-experience machine. this is how the game is played

[@carrots1550]

Nah, he ran everywhere. Homer gave him the epithet "swift-footed" for a reason!

[@callummcewan2935]

The rare "triple break" laughing fit. Love to see it.

[@daylightsleeptight]

When Alex said Hugh Hefner and said, “But these wouldn’t be pillows...they’d be women” I might have spit-laughed all over my phone screen. It’s possible.

[@MegaPhester]

But if you were Hugh Hefner, what you spit-laughed all over would not be your phone... but women!

[@daylightsleeptight]

@@MegaPhester Thank you for this.

[@michaelcolbourn6719]

@@MegaPhester and it wouldn't be spit, it would be women

[@jakedenneyfilms]

I can’t fully explain why, but the following exchange: “Mert Aksaç.” “YEEESSS!!!” makes me so happy.

[@Toastwig]

Remember when Horne used to wear suits? Now he’s looking like every australian dad on Christmas Day. 7:14

[@thevanityproject6480]

It was all down hill after the reprieve, the man’s a disgrace.

[@Tomatentapenade]

So far I haven't been on Key's side with any of the arguments. But Snooker not a walky job: 100% agree.

[@tlewtree]

As someone who has played a lot of snooker over the years I can honestly say that when I’ve tried to play it without walking I’ve often found that the cue ball isn’t in front of me when I try to play a shot. Makes it all very tricky. As an aside, rarely have I seen any snooker players out of breath from all the jogging around the table

[@Jobewiggle]

The other sport I was thinking that was similar was darts. Is that a walking job??

[@tlewtree]

@@Jobewiggle that’s an interesting one but I think no. The difference being you could play darts without walking anywhere. If someone gathered your darts for you, or if you just had a lot of darts. You are returning to almost the exact same spot for every throw. Bit of shuffling from side to side maybe but not walking. This isn’t the case in golf or snooker. Fiddly category though

[@horseloverfat799]

The trouble is that the examplar of a waking job given is golf. Both golf and snooker can be played by wheelchair-bound players. In that sense, walking is not an essential part of them. In the abstract I would agree that snooker isn't a walking job, but I can't think of any argument that it isn't which wouldn't also apply to golf. Hence, snooker has to count as a walking job for the purpose of this game because it isn't relevantly dissimilar from golf.

[@chicalolita707]

You literally have to walk around the table to get to the ball. They're walking all the time and not just to the seat and back.

[@rachel-lo6ty]

The synchronicity at 20:35 is such a treat

[@samc7634]

Key was absolutely robbed here. Both on the snooker front and the Hefner challenge!

[@andracatheduckking257]

and the achilles challenge!

[@leileleileleile]

the synchronous 'yeah' at 20:39 cracks me up

[@VideoNozoki]

"Key to START" - as in "KEY to START a car/engine/machine/a piece of music..." We need a key to START

[@samchadwick4247]

not in the middle of the game though

[@aislinndraws5540]

Can't wait for the NMJ Greatest Hits album, featuring such classics as 'Don't Look At Your Bookshelves', 'Boop, Boop, Unicorn Mug' and 'What's On Your Underpants?'

[@rkah6187]

Don't forget Key's cover of 'Hugh Hefner'

[@nuisancepenguin5210]

and definitely don't forget "sometimes he's a silhouette, and sometimes we see colours"!

[@flywithguy_]

If I was Hugh Hefner, this comment wouldn’t be here. It would be a woman

[@trevorlutz6807]

Big if

[@Jobewiggle]

I don’t know what banter I loved best in this episode : the mert chat or Hugh Hefner or the constant challenges of what the episode was press /exhibition/ fumble. Amazing episode!!

[@oobydoobanooby]

Tim, how are you going to turn the ship around and get your irons out of the fire?

[@HotGodGoose]

Justice for Tim! Snooker is a standing sport!

[@KomodoSerpent]

Never in my wildest dreams would i have imagine watching these three listen to ppcocaine in order to decide a challenge. EDIT: oh my christ Key raps it

[@tylerburney8576]

I nearly fell out when I realized what was playing.

[@jhugs4books227]

i'm late to watch this one but dear god I screamed and another person in the house to ask if I was ok

[@EDELWEISSnn]

IS MY JOB A WALKING JOB? Now that's what I call merch material

[@lth5015]

IT"S "KEY TO START!"

[@Anonymouse85]

Hello guys! Thanks for having me, I'm a reporter for the NMJ Daily. I've written up a few questions and i'm hoping you'd be so kind to answer them for me during today's press conference. 1. Key, you've had a few rough games where you were struggling to get a win, how are you feeling about series three? 2. Horne, where'd you get that dog from? 3. Watson, how are you feeling about the sporadic accusations and why on earth didn't you challenge on that thing you didn't challenge on? What were you thinking, it was a morning game so surely you were sober? Thank you, looking forward to the answers.

[@samcollins5723]

a wonderful return to the game for mert aksac

[@boozeshmooze6731]

For folks not aware, Tim Key is one of the contestants on Richard Osman's House of Games this week, on the KZbin channel Mundo.

[@benjaminveres7412]

When you have a good old think about it, it's a bloody great suggestion.

[@RFC-3514]

All three have now been on ROHoG (and won it, but I didn't need to tell you that; anyone playing NMJ at this level waltzes through any other game).

[@anupagnawali6332]

Just by getting confirmation that this game will continue indefinitely already made this year better than the last!

[@benstuart922]

When I thought about it, I realised this might be my favourite episode yet. So much so, I will continue to smile about it while recovering from the kidney punch my wife gave me because i was shaking the bed laughing while she was trying to drop off.

[@Shift8YawnsShift8]

You're doing these indefinitely? Excellent news. I prefer the video format to podcast but I'm sure I'd listen.

[@slg5135]

When you sit down and have a really good think about it, this was a very pleasant way to start the day. It was a good way to be eased in to watching one's country have an attempted coup.

[@Montykins]

Unexpected No More Jockeys! This year's pretty good so far.

[@WukongTheMonkeyKing]

NGL, the bar was set pretty low by 2020

[@Kurbizin]

Tim Key lives off chaos.

[@pyrexAlpha]

Horne managed to survive Achilles walking and also take out Key is borderline unsportsman when you think about it

[@premadonna]

“What about the performance aspect? I won a perier!” 😂😂😂😂

[@MyNvK]

When you stop and properly think about it, I continue to love NMJ. Even if it was only a Twelfth Night Press Conference/ Fumble Day Game/ Exhibition Match. OVER!

[@unseenzulu]

Key got shafted there.. Tennis was a great argument..

[@mattbarr6732]

Agreed, very few snooker players walk more than Achilles did during the Trojan war.

[@Shmiguelly]

@@mattbarr6732 I don't mind "walked more than Achilles during the Trojan war" as a phrase

[@lnfreeman]

I love how into that rap track they all were at the beginning and then the longer it went on the more baffled they looked.

[@kittycat604]

Oh gentlemen, you are really spoiling us with these bonus episodes

[@RustyBucket2]

I wouldn't mind a game of NMJ in the swimming pool with umbrellas now you mention it

[@vinceven]

third result on google is an article about ten songs that shout out hugh hefner: Lil Wayne - God Bless America; French Montana ft. The Weeknd - Gifted; Joe Budden - Ordinary Love Shit 4; 50 cent - Hustler's Ambition, etc. etc. etc.

[@andracatheduckking257]

fucking Key gets robbed AGAIN. we below the line refuse to stand for this. i must insist that Key gets a personal lawyer for series 3

[@Reichieru1]

I just adore when there are no producers or networks controlling what a comedian says or does.

[@WaunGronChampion]

People below the line are buzzing with a wednesday release

[@oobydoobanooby]

Best thing to come out of the pandemic.

[@HitchHitchHitch]

"you're joking! I mean... I've typed in motivational theatre"

[@mikefgroves]

Well this came from nowhere!! Awesome!!! Just what I need to lift my spirits after the return to work this week (and now the additional teaching responsibilities at home!)

[@johncole5893]

Great way to start the day, a mid-week bonus press confrence. Thanks guys!

[@lucyinbar4077]

yay! Another episode... that's made my Wednesday much better - thanks lads!

[@JessicaRainbow]

Nick Hewer had a walking job when he was Alan Sugars aide on The Apprentice. His job was literally to follow the candidates and report back to Seralan. A lot of walking involved in that 🙂

[@m1j1browning]

Key word is “had”. That’s not his current job.

[@TravelSoGood]

@@m1j1browning Was it specified that it's their current job? If so, what about retired or dead people?

[@m1j1browning]

@@TravelSoGood I'm sure any of those would have been fine.

[@Shift8YawnsShift8]

I'm happy to finally find out what happened to the finger Horne, I did wonder.

[@Shift8YawnsShift8]

And, it's Key to start! "Key to play" was a later invention and as a phrase it doesn't hold my heart so tightly.

[@stuffandthat157]

God Horne really got away with those Achilles challenges. Question, straight yes or straight no did you deserve to get away with that Horne? Also loved the WKD joke from Key

[@redpath7388]

Surely Achilles is the main character in Troy

[@jamie_rides]

How many miles will a golfer cover during a golf match? How many kilometres will a snookerist walk during a match? I don't think Horne's challenge is in the spirit of the category. Over.

[@stgp16]

Agreed especially after Key and Watson had been very sporting in letting off Horne

[@slothrr776]

Walk, take a shot. Walk, take a shot. Walk, take a shot. What game am I describing?

[@jamie_rides]

@@slothrr776 Sounds like "a good walk spoiled" to me.

[@horseloverfat799]

@@jamie_rides The problem is that the examplar chosen for a "walking job" is golf. There are wheelchair-bound snooker players, but there are also wheelchair-bound golf players. You could argue that walking isn't an essential part of either sport, but if walking is an essential part of the one it has to be an essential part of the other. It's the same thing as with whether or not Santa Claus wears job gloves. Maybe there's an argument to be made there, but if your examplar is Penelope Pitstop, then the main argument that Santa doesn't wear job gloves (delivering gifts isn't really a job) will also apply to her.

[@Wolfer1OOO]

When you think about it, you have to ask, why does a golfer walk in miles and a snooker player walk in kilometres?

[@TheSFHAA]

Hugh Hefner is immortalised in the song because the title of the song is "Hugh Hefner"....

[@RichardCorderoPhilosophy]

What was ridiculous about Keys' departure was the argument that tennis players do a lot of running, so walking isn't a key part of the job. As though snooker players don't do a lot of standing? I don't know Horne, but if I did, he'd be my nemesis.

[@dingdongsomethingswrong]

He absolutely shot down the challenge with the tennis argument in my opinion. But still walked! I guess his job is a walking job after all...

[@PFPOD1998]

Key walking on the snooker walking challenge is an abomination

[@AdamHHI]

Tim Key is slowly turning into Slavoj Zizek, the poet becomes the philosopher

[@PaddyRoon7]

8:50 Horne does this a lot lol. Whenever he gets challenged he always tries to pre-empt what category it will be

[@ampersandcastle1091]

When you really think about it, Horne was right to survive those Achilles challenges. Homer used chariots as a sort of glorified taxi service for his heroes, and Achilles famously ran very fast in battle (his epithet, “swift-footed Achilles). Also, although the ‘invulnerable apart from his heel’ bit wasn’t a part of the Iliad, he was fated to die once he killed Hector - therefore, never would have died before then. I suppose you could argue that every time he went into battle after the death of Hector was a near-death experience, although I would lean on Horne’s side of the argument, that his death was fated

[@alecbaker51]

Horne not being able to find a song mentioning Hugh Hefner is inexcusable. The only way to explain his incompetence is if he is in cahoots with Mark.

[@eleanorrigby2008]

Tim’s beard is looking very nice right now.

[@nathanrowley8206]

Keys question; after his relative success as the captain of the Titanic, how fares his new dry cleaning and ironing venture? Hornes question; how did you catch your last cold, and how did you get rid of it? Watson's question; whats with the Stevie wonder impersonation when playing the game? Key 2; part one, how long do you think the pandemic is gonna go on for, and (part 2) as such do you think it is time to do NMJ from inside those inflatable balls you use to go down hills? Horne 2; do you think Keys new jumper is nice?

[@carrots1550]

This is what I came here for. :D

[@chicalolita707]

Hands up who said Penelope Pitstop to their screen when Tim Key asked us BTL who he should start with.

[@stupidusername46]

Hugh Hefner has definitely played himself in multiple films. Would have been an interesting challenge, he definitely shares his name with himself

[@ozymandeusii1576]

I'm surprised no one mentioned that Achilles shares his name with Brad Pitts character in the movie Troy

[@philh5292]

First off: great to see Tim choose Jack Lisowski again. 😀 My second favourite player after Judd Trump. But I'm still waiting for The Thunder from Down Under, Neil Robertson. Secondly: he was very unlucky to go out on that choice. It was a fiddly topic, as virtually every job includes some level of walking to get to it, or to move from place to place. And, yes, Snooker players have to walk to and from the table. But all sports stars walk up to the field / court / track / oche, etc. So it's just about the fact that Snooker players walk AROUND the table when on a break to get to their next shot. In that respect then, yeah, they do more walking than most sports stars. But that extra walking is still only to get them in position to do the relevant part of their job - to lean over and hit a ball with a cue - so that's still the same 'preliminary' walking as Athletes / Football / Tennis / Darts players walking up to the Track / Field / Court / Oche before doing the actual relevant part of their non-walking jobs. Personally, I think it wasn't a cut and dried decision and merited being let off more than many of the other reprieves we've seen. 😎

[@OmegaNovaB]

The relisten to Hugh Hefner and the three of them laughing their heads off, got me

[@rosswilkinson9095]

Did not wake up today expecting a No More Jockeys and Ppcocaine crossover episode.

[@Radinden]

Well, this was about the last place I expected to hear that song, and it's given me profoundly disturbing visions of what would happen if Horne actually posted on Tiktok.

[@trishking6343]

Consistently brilliant. Thanks gents.

[@JohnHazl]

No More Jockeys is probably the last place I expected to be introduced to tiktok rappers

[@aidorrocks]

i was not expecting this midweek, but i don't mind it.

[@J_PhD]

Can we get Key TO START the next game in his House of Games robe please?

[@RCTitan33]

I can not recall seeing a "no category given" before! Was that a new shrewd tactic from Watson or a simple slip of the mind, only time will tell

[@lpldl]

Now, where can I get Key's jumper? More importantly, where can I get Horne's tea mug? Is there a fan shop coming up?

[@Flackon16]

And his sunglasses!

[@GoggledAgog]

Googling "penelope pitstop christmas jumper" gets you Key's jumper, "unicorn mug" throws up a lot of options but do a little scrolling and you'll find some similar to Horne's.

[@maximilianhelgesen2039]

Questions from BTL: 1. Key to answer: When you think about it, what’s the plan going forward into this next set? 2. Alex, great top today! But what happened to the shirt you were wearing last week? 3. Watto: a lot of speculation on your conduct from BTL in past seasons…how do you respond? 4. How come no one challenged Kelly Clarkson on the Christian name set 2, game 9? 5. Tim, how long are you planning on keeping the new jumper on? Have you ever thought about doing a all-nude game...but over podcast? 6. Final question: loved the money-prize round, how about upping it a little and having the first one out Eiffle Towered by the others? OVER.

[@retcon1991]

Goodness me, I need this. OVER!

[@spinal_capped]

You don’t have to walk to play snooker, seeing as you can play snooker in a wheelchair! Rare occasion where I agree with Key!

[@tom.lox.ralphs]

Now that is lovely, Basmos.

[@karensouthworth2946]

That was magical!

[@tantryl]

"You might have to read the whole of The Illiad" "Yeah and that's actually going to take ages isn't it" Classic NMJ

[@Vorash00]

Loving Alex's outfit, I think he looks very festive and seasonal (from my position here in Aus)

[@jacksonjackson297]

What a lovey surprise just as I was in the middle of a traditional Twelfth Night Tinsel-fire.

[@madknt]

Snooker is not a walking job.

[@PaladinusSP]

It's hardly a job at all, when you think about it.

[@CortezHoratio]

I agree, there should be true outrage BTL.

[@trevorlutz6807]

Yet

[@andrewhickman9369]

Shows how Northern Irish I am. I saw 12th Night Special and just had to watch...

[@SchutzmarkeGMBH]

Love the game, love the guys, don't know any of the people they talk about though.

[@bearhustler]

I'm such a Nuisance Penguin I'm watching this again

[@PaddyRoon7]

Im actually completely with Key, no way is walking central to snooker. It's a badly worded category but he did say the job had to involve "a lot" of walking. You could argue Tiger Woods would have a caddie so he wouldnt need to walk much, which is another issue with the category

[@kimz24]

What a lovely surprise! also, Horne was a mess in that one.

[@willspence959]

Real dirty play from little alex horne here, - sabotaging the work of key's challenge - trying to use two challenges (throwing + under 30) for mert aczac (and failing) when he only had one challenge remaining - refusal to concede that achilles walks as an intrinsic part of his job (how does Horne propose Achilles gets on the horse). And then to have the cheek to force key out with a walking challenge! And to go on to win the match after all this Pure gamesmanship if ever i did see it - the only saving grace that it's a mere exhibition match.

[@solipsismworld]

Absolutely absurd that Horne escaped on Hugh Hefner but Key went out on job walking.

[@AaronsGames]

"NO CATEGORY GIVEN" ... I'm sorry, WHAT?! Great game though, lots of laughs.

[@khoo7732]

I don’t like that it’s not Friday. Though I need this today!

[@babyisaacthomas1007]

Let mark Watson fidget however much he wants. It's endearing.

[@ellengillon]

Aw, the dog's had a groom.

[@tylerburney8576]

Never in my life did I think I would hear a ppcocaine song in No More Jockeys

[@jfda-]

i had to pause the video and take a minute to process tbh 😂

[@paulm3175]

"There is contact there, the Snickometer shows it". Hope to actually see this in the next series

[@megalamb]

“No Category Given” - Doesn’t that make the whole game redundant? Such a shambles!

[@JossieMimo]

Not game, press conference.

[@spinal_capped]

Not a game. A woman.

[@BethanyLowe8773]

The music has got too quiet over the last several programmes! It's a crucial feature, and should be audible.