nostraightanswer - don't watch me die

[@nostraightanswer]

purchase "specters" here: nostraightanswer.bandcamp.com/album/specters available in digital AND limited physical edition. (also available digitally wherever you can think of.) ========= music, lyrics, vocal: nostraightanswer art, video: rice (twitter.com/rice_deity ) instrumental: nostraightanswer.bandcamp.com/album/specters-instrumental-file additional thanks to backers of the interface collection on kickstarter, and my supporters on patreon. the interface collection: www.kickstarter.com/projects/nostraightanswer/interface-a-vocaloid-album-collection nostraightanswer on patreon: www.patreon.com/nostraightanswer ========= i wasn't planning on uploading this today but then i had a rapid onset of a peculiar major case of what this song is about: my thanatophobia, that keeps me up at night, that keeps me from sleeping period, actually, that normally makes me want to contact anyone and everyone i know to let them know that i'm so happy and glad to have met them because i feel like i'm running out of time quickly, quickly, too quickly. i don't want to talk about it right now. maybe i'll edit this section later. ========= Previous Work: bokeh (kzbin.info/www/bejne/hHjacqt8gZutldk ) Next Work: we'll all be dead (kzbin.info/www/bejne/bnSamJh6oJaah9E ) #specters #nostraightanswer

[@rakiahbaker5589]

This song is beautiful.

[@kaceish]

pre-ordered for 40 dollars cause 🙏boy, this stuff is amazing

[@Bokimu]

It takes a lot of guts to express vulnerabilities like these for others to see, and hear, and experience. We love you, Lupin!

[@humanityinspector8749]

Sobe

[@kimagurena1021]

As someone who has a mild fear of death and dying, I can sympathize with this song. Every day i keep making sure that i don't forget to do something for someone or say anything to them because i don't know if I'm going to die before i can do those things and the thought scares me. Similarly to your situation, i often find myself unable to sleep for nights on end. I cant always bring myself to sleep because I'm unsure if I'll wake up. At times like this, the only thing we can do is hope and pray that we can live a long and prosperous life. Don't be afraid Lupin! You have my prayers!

[@aileenthealien9659]

This song is so touching I don't even know where to begin! Everything specters is just so GOOD. Every song has such strong emotion; some of them really hit home for me like wishing well and last words. Out of all the songs I've heard so far, this one really got me, especially the ending omg I am really looking forward to the release of specters, and anything else you make in the future. We love you!! 💕💕

[@brandonbaria9159]

When I was 17 I had that fear, I didn't know it had a name, I didn't really have peace till now

[@zahedchowdhury0]

Lyrics taken from bandcamp: was caught up in a mess now i gotta confess everything that's left in my chest, now i gave it all my best but i've still got regrets i don't get a choice but to rest, now and i've seen plenty of skies told plenty of lies met plenty of guys and gals and others besides but i've dreamt of your eyes tens of thousands of times tears marking the line that i've been waiting to ride and i got lots of questions in mind and impressions of mine dreams i've lost with the time, rewind but i don't wanna miss your goodbyes so if i'm set to leave tonight... tonight... let the door slam shut like you've had enough cuz i don't want you to catch me looking tough no i don't want you to look me in the eyes pleading with the skies, begging i survive, just stay alive if this is the end of me, know i don't want to see you cry, oh if this is the end of me, just don't watch me die, do- don't watch me die-die been praying it's a test a shot at second-best coming clean to all of the rest, now i never would've guessed the feelings in my chest would all come crashing down from the stress, now and i've seen plenty of skies told plenty of lies met plenty of guys and gals and others besides but i've dreamt of your eyes tens of millions of times tears marking the line that i've been waving goodbye if i could have a chance to rewind and make up for the time i was wasting so blind, i'd try to keep myself so plainly alive but if i'm not to dream tonight... let the door slam shut like you've had enough cuz i don't want you to catch me looking tough no i don't want you to look me in the eyes pleading with the skies, begging i survive, just stay alive if this is the end of me, know i don't want to see you cry, oh if this is the end of me, just don't watch me die, do-don't watch me die-die if this is the end of me, just don't watch me die, do-don't watch me die

[@EmpathP]

it's so good Lupin, how dare you

[@sparklylexi2159]

I know this song is about the fear of sleeping and not being able to wake up, but I’ve been going through a lot with my bipolar and borderline and this song means something else to me too. The fear of loosing people over night. Them slamming the door when they’ve had enough, yknow? Honestly this song has quickly became a favorite. Thank you. This is actually helping me with the mental breakdown I’m having at the moment I saw this in my recommend. Thank you!

[@nostraightanswer]

I'm glad to hear other people relate to it, even if it's in different ways. It makes everything feel... important. :> Thanks for sharing with me.

[@NightscaleSylv]

I honestly thought this song was about BPD until I saw this comment. It's been hitting me hard too and I've been listening to this won't a lot

[@sparklylexi2159]

@@NightscaleSylv The beauty of art, it hits us all in different ways. I hope you are well

[@Asorra_Tatsumi]

Something about this song hits home and puts a tight grip on my chest I can't quite explain. And maybe you hear this too often but it never hurts to let someone know. But you are loved and you are cared for. Never forget that. I've been listening to your songs for close to a decade now, and your passion, the emotion, your growth and the joy and the pain you've been through is so evident it puts a smile on my art. Music may not be my medium of art but I can relate, at least from the spectrum of a pencil and sketchbook/drawing tablet. What ever your fears, know that you never have to truly face them alone. Now enough of my gushing xD Love you Lupin 💗

[@nikulyne8807]

The songs on this album are amazing but this one is just- -Gorgeous The instrumentals are so nice and there's so much _emotion_ packed into every bit and I just- I barely even know what to type but my feelings for this song are too strong We really love you Lupin!!! And everything you do ❤🐺❤

[@nikaruP]

ah im late but i just wanted to say as someone with this phobia i felt this. i always rush into relationships and friendships and attach myself way too quickly because i feel like i don’t have much time left, if i have any left at all. just, thank you so much for making this song, it’s absolutely incredible to see this being portrayed in a real sense, thats not overdramatised

[@ThatRedMoth]

Lupin never fails to surprise me with every song. So many songs created by them that helped me, and this song carries another reason to lift me up (while vibing) I send my love and full support to Lupin, always and for as long as I shall live.

[@syl5191]

THE ART, THE MUSIC, THE LYRICS, YOU, ALL OF IT, IMMACULATE ! ! !

[@coffeebean6357]

this song, it really its home Lupin-- This was so relatable and beautiful I couldn't help but cry, seriously, this album is absolutely incredible and as someone whos experienced the fear of death, having to lie about myself to family then come clean wit them, having to leave/or deal with lost loved ones, this really hits home. Thank you so much for really letting your emotions be raw in this album, it makes you so much more dynamic and you're execution was astounding. Tysm for just singing and being here

[@sboom1235]

I'd say it's quite telling how serious this feeling is when it's the artist's character and voice rather than a vocaloid and a random character.

[@MonsieurALG]

this is a virtual hug.

[@valorielobo69]

This shows such beauty in our fears, thank you

[@xDeydeyxtartelette]

Everyting about this song is so stunning. I feel that, I'm so scared of being gone before having the time to accomplish something worthy on this planet...

[@Jono997]

Lupin has said before that this was the hardest song for him to write. Now listening to it, really connecting with the fear being expressed, holy fuck can I see why.

[@staticscoffee]

all of your songs are huge comforts, i relate to every single bit of emotion, word, and topic they talk about. in my lowest times i listen to your songs, im very glad you are here. thank you. i wish i could support you in any other way, all i can do for now is listen and share your songs to other people.

[@nostraightanswer]

Thank you so much 💖 Many more to come. 😊

[@jtlovescodelyoko]

Beautiful song, I Pre-ordered A CD Copy of the album, I Can't Wait to Receive it.

[@ricedeity]

💙

[@malenablanco5188]

I feel very lucky to have met you, Lupin, listening to your songs was like love at first sight, really. It makes me very happy, I love you!🧡❤️🧡

[@senmohatake2896]

This is incredible. I’m not the best at expressing myself in words, so forgive me for my poor conveyance. I think it’s really brave to be able to express your fears like this, it must take an awful lot of courage, and the emotions clearly shine through in your words As someone with a health related phobia, this really strikes deep even though I’m sure I couldn’t understand everything. Also your music is beautiful, really. One of my favourite songs of yours is My Impulse, especially because of how it sums up a kind of anxiety. Sorry for rambling on a bit!

[@aves4270]

;A;!!!!! The emotions!!!!! I could feel it come through from the lyrics alone. This was an amazing song!!

[@altf4undo01]

it feels both relieving and depressing that i'm not alone with my fear of death, especially of dying in my sleep. even though it's scary itself, i want to face the end and know it's coming. i don't want to be caught off guard.

[@nostraightanswer]

It's been so long it doesn't surprise me anymore, but it used to bother me when people said they didn't fear death just because it was normal or inevitable. There's so much more that factors into it, and those other details just get glossed over. 😔

[@thegreatqtip4516]

I may have only found out about your channel recently, but I've been making up for lost time. Let me put it this way: I don't listen to many singers. I just generally prefer instrumental music, and it's a lot harder for me to enjoy singing. This is my main exception, and I get genuinely excited when I see you've uploaded. You do great work, I can't wait to be blown away listening and re-listening to new songs.

[@EchoExe]

Thank you so much for this song, Lupin. I have the same fear, and I didn’t know I needed this song until today. It’s really something that I can resonate with, and it comforts me a little to know that I’m not alone when listening to all your songs. You’ve made such a big impact on my life in terms of music and reflections, and I just want you to know how bright of a light you have on peoples lives. You’re wonderful. ♥️

[@thekid6687]

This is the first song I've heard, but I immediately fell in love with it and reminded me of my small fear of death. I feel a strong connection to this song, and even though I don't normally listen to Vocaloid, I feel like the lyrics did a wonderful job capturing that fear and turning it into this beautiful song.

[@JorroTreul]

You're always posting AMAZING songs and I can't get enough of supporting you man! Keep up the amazing work! I'm super proud of seeing you and your music grow over the years! Keep it up Loops!!

[@MagpiesCorruption209]

This song.. I didnt know there was a name for that fear.. its just so perfect of a song and im so happy to have found this so soon

[@JeronisLeror]

The fear of non-existence scares me too. What comes after is a mystery. When the fear flares up, everything comes to a grinding halt. I can try to throw myself into other versions of me that I've created in my head to escape it, but even then that coping mechanism fails most of the time. Of all the specters so far, this one hit home more than most of the others. Well done.

[@mangosummer1160]

This is such an incredible song. The emotions packed into it make this song so amazing- Once again, I am made speechless with the beauty of this song. This makes me even more excited for Specters to come out! Thank you for this song :D I hope you're doing better now, and I pray for your continued good health through this difficult time.

[@kaceish]

My FAVORITE so far.

[@nostraightanswer]

Thank you so much!

[@plastickgravee1073]

Wow the lyrics in this are really emotional and they hit hard

[@nostraightanswer]

Thank you! It was pretty hard to write, and harder to record.

[@bubblegum7046]

gonna listen to this on repeat at 2 a.m.

[@felikatze]

as someome with the same fear, this song is oddly comforting to me. All your music is, really. It's got such a sincerity behind it, and it's helped me through quite a few sleepless nights.

[@jacksonmorse8516]

I once read that only vulnerability like this can lead to happiness. I am screwed.

[@bearowl4101]

I didn’t know this fear had a name and suddenly things make more sense for me. Thank you for publishing this. I needed this understanding about my own fears.

[@StormyTideSage]

Really relatable. This song hits hard.

[@nostraightanswer]

Thank you! I'm glad you think so.

[@iilunha]

Wow. This really, really moved me. I could really feel the emotion and realness behind this song. It must be so hard to live with this fear, and I hope that you’re doing okay right now.

[@nostraightanswer]

I am definitely doing better; the episodes don't usually escalate to such extremes, and it's not a constant feeling usually. :> I'm glad to hear it was moving!

[@milkleftthegame6969]

absolutely amazing song with moving and powerful lyrics- such simplicity in a hard beat makes it all come together

[@rajashreegogoi1142]

Dont watch me die - nostraightanswer Was caught up in a mess Now I gotta confess Everything that's left in my chest now I gave it all my best But I've still got regrets I dont get a choice but to rest now And I've seen plenty of skies Told plenty of lies Met plenty of guys And gals and others beside But I've dreamt of your eyes Tens of thousands of times Tears making the line That I've been waiting to ride And I got lots of questions in mind (More lyrics at 12: AM) I live in Indian :))

[@beck1m561]

This is by far my favourite song on the album because of the line "met plenty of guys and gals and others besides." As someone who is non-binary I'm living for that subtle support of other genders.

[@Recag]

I am loving the songs and concept of this album! I can’t wait until the whole album comes out!

[@ChangelingRain]

the ears in the video really make this hit... even harder than it already does.

[@okaynov]

was rewatching this: the flowers on the advert look like forget-me-nots....... is the speaker wishing for the audience to not forget them? aaaaaaagh Big Sad

[@ashekennemer4062]

Everything about this was beautiful. This really hit close to home and I just oof, it's so good. Good job on another excellent song, Lupin.

[@megacelupn]

I love the overall mood of the song and your vocals! 🥰

[@benvibed]

My heart has left my body this song took it. Seriously, Lupin this is so amazing. We love you and your music so much 💕🎶💕🎶💕

[@mortemu_drakkeru]

1 year has passed, still my comfort song. Thank you Lupin for this masterpiece ^^

[@YazlingOfficial]

This is honestly the best thing 😍😍

[@themadhousewithin2191]

I know this isn't a new song but I'd been avoiding hearing because I know itll be too true... until now. And now I'm sitting here, in bed, a bit past midnight, crying my eyes out because THIS is my fear, this is what I how NEVER wish to happen, I'd rather die at peace with what is happening and know that those I love understand that I love them too much to let my death become any reason they might suffer. This hit me so much harder than I can ever express, and the fact that I can't tell you the depth of my feelings right now should be enough for you know that your words are powerful, your words hold so much strength and pure raw deep power that you can make people (or at least me...) feel things that just cannot being fully understood as words, your words create wordless emotions... that's not just skill or talent, that's magic. That's something I have always wished in my writing, something I long to master and use to help people like me with various things. You are powerful. Don't ever doubt that power. Also don't worry, I'll be fine, I just... feel so much more than my mind can really coherently piece together in words right now. And in pretty sure this song will help me come to terms with my fear, so... thank you, Lupin. For music and for giving me the small push forward towards healing and accepting myself, regardless of all this fear and confusion over life and reality and the inevitably so many things I know I hold no power over. 🤍

[@justsomerandomintrovert]

holy crap, im so happy i discovered you bc wtf ur so underrated??? you have a lovely voice omggg

[@howdufindme]

I was trapped in an unhealthily infatuated relationship for two years, I wanted nothing more than the person I had fallen for(although oddly enough they have never said my name before) I was blinded for so long that we both changed from being two best friends into tired heartbroken strangers. I love him, and he loved me but only as a friend, he turned to a coward and we couldn't take the pain anymore, so I ended things with him

[@Zaya_Nalenthi]

Your lyrics are always so wonderfully written!

[@piero7tnx]

That was really amazing, thank you for always working so hard!

[@KiriinoChan]

Words can't express how much I love this song. ❤️

[@SnakeDaddy]

epic im crying

[@youllneverguesswho2654]

another BOP

[@Lostbreva]

I know I'm new but this song is just- xfhffxhgccu really good! Idk why I'm attached to sad songs but each one is so gooddd (Suffocate was golden btw, by far my #1 fav song ❤️) Okay I lied, I know why I like sad songs (If you read this, thank you!!) when I hear songs I relate to it's sad, but then I tend to think that the person who wrote it overcame it and it makes me think that I can too :D

[@nostraightanswer]

I'm happy you liked it 💖 Music brings people together!

[@missjunebuggiee]

This song is so good TvT I love it so much aa

[@Emisnyan]

Your music really touches my soul. Thank u

[@nostraightanswer]

Thanks for listening!

[@Emisnyan]

@@nostraightanswer agshdgahjshd oh my god ..the gods have spoken to me

[@reflexe45]

That was awesome 🥺 🌺

[@lynxtrinity3767]

I luv iy

[@bnm8099]

英語自体が苦手で意味などはわからないのですが、曲の雰囲気が好きで聞いてみました。これからも作曲活動頑張ってください！

[@mortemu_drakkeru]

Man, this is just to good. *I'm suffering the same feeling with this song and I hope I get through everything*

[@nostraightanswer]

💖💖💖

[@mortemu_drakkeru]

@@nostraightanswer the song really hits ngl. Its the song I always sing whenever depression hits me, thank you for making such a wonderful song Lupin :))))

[@SnivyFan11]

This is beautiful, and yet 3 people disliked, what is wrong with those 3 people?

[@LunatTuT]

This is sl cool, i really like this song. (And other he's song too)

[@nostraightanswer]

Thank you

[@jokazygoasco9196]

This is a very beautiful song. Hope u hav been doing well through what's going on

[@mirorv93]

omg what a good song!

[@kenshinpolintan4805]

Perfect song for a music video ngl I also have anxiety when it comes to death. Even though I've had thoughts of death, I'm still afraid of it nonetheless. Of course, I got friends to think about, and this song reminds me of that.

[@destikgurl]

AAA this album got removed from the Amazon music app and I’m sad because it was an essential part of my commute 😭😭 but I will still stream it here 🥺👉🏻👈🏻

[@nostraightanswer]

I have no idea what happened there, honest! I'd suggest getting in touch with Amazon and seeing if it's an issue on their end (in terms of delivering content to you).

[@MyurrDurr]

This song makes me cry every time ;-; But I love it so so much

[@laisandrade4235]

This is soo good ♡

[@rush_lj]

iGNORE ME WHILE I *SOB*

[@nostraightanswer]

Oh worm?

[@SorwestChannel]

I like the song, but I can't watch the visuals for long, my eyes can't stand the constant blur. Making something stay un-blurred would help keep the eyes focused on that instead. I can't express well my thoughts about the lyrics but @Aileen the Alien and @Taco put them quite well in their own comments. So be sure to give them a look!

[@nostraightanswer]

There are CCs for the lyrics on this one. The aesthetics of the visuals i think were generally more important for me than the readability. Sorry that it's a bit heavy!

[@milagrosp5816]

Más trenes :v