Not ALL women will treat you right...

Men, not all women will treat you right. Yes, In general, women are "slightly" (ok, alot more) selfless and empathetic then men are. But that doesn't always describe the woman YOU are dating. And we don't hear as much about the fact that men can get caught in abusive relationships just like women can. That's why you need to know, you need to have a plan, you need to be aware that not all women will treat you right. You need to know what makes a great relationship. You need to learn now before you're already married what a marriage requires to survive, like honesty, and intimacy and selflessness. Not all women will give you that. And you need to be prepared when someone you're dating doesn't.
#dating #datingtipsformen #emotionalneglect

[@JimmyonRelationships]

Although this dynamic probably doesn't represent the majority of how the male female relationship usually plays out. There are plenty of men out there that get caught in a dysfunctional relationship with controlling, manipulative, or narcissistic women. I hope I can do anything I can to help you see your worth.

[@TheBaumcm]

I grew up in a reverse household. I idolized my dad, thankfully, and chose to pattern myself after him. He was a gruff teddy bear, literally Santa, coach, volunteer EMS, and very involved in the community, not because he felt obligated or for appearances, but because he felt compelled to help. He encouraged my questions and would spend hours going over the human body with me. I was probably the only 6 year old who could run an emergency scene (I actually did when my brother was injured), had seen open heart surgery and knew how to body boarding a drowning victim with possible spinal complications. He never wanted me to dim my competency (high achieving in school in all subjects) for others and told me so, that if someone had a problem with me being who I was and showing what I was capable of, as long as I didn’t treat others shabbily because they had different talents, it was their fault, not mine.

[@Sharzad]

As a wife, this was a good checklist for self-evaluation as how I treat my husband. Very valuable. It’s easy to notice all the ways I want to be treated differently. Not as easy to try to evaluate things from my husband’s perspective. Especially because he is on the avoidant side of attachment spectrum and doesn’t share his thoughts much. I don’t like my own report card, I must say. Definitely room for improvement on my end too.

[@noreenhostetler4531]

Wow I can be that mean woman sometimes 😮 But my husband won't talk so I push him and he gets defensive. We both come from dysfunctional families & brought it along😢 Married 35 years & miserable. Love this guy for hitting the tough topics❤

[@SirenUniverse381]

Same.

[@zara0365]

I hear you

[@TheBaumcm]

Yeah, it can be a bit of a which came first but when you break it down, you have a choice to break your patterns. You don’t have a guarantee that your partner will do the same, nor should you expect it, but I know at least for me, I feel better when I stay truer to my style of communication, calm, logical, and feeling, rather than contemptuous, angry and bitter, from a place of pain. In short, I really feel worse when someone else’s shabby treatment of me makes me feel like I should retaliate.

[@janicekern5318]

My husband has told me he doesn't need help, there is nothing wrong with him. I am now working through my pain to earn money to leave. I will give him chances while i am still here because, maybe, but I am betting on him not taking the opportunity, so I am planning and working towards, leaving. I just want to be important. I am working on me. But i can't leave yet. I will stay in control of the money, I have no choice, as long as I am here, making sure there is money for everything we NEED is important. Sadly he pays the bills, but after that he wastes the rest of the money, and there are things we need after the bills are paid.

[@damieo8139]

Please be more conservative with the money and keep saving. May God safely bring you out of this situation.

[@tamaratorres6368]

They say that clutter is showing the trauma & turmoil in your life. Your garage is clean. So, that means your life is cleaned up. So, good job!

[@JimmyonRelationships]

Oh thanks! The garage is usually messy so that’s funny 😂

[@confusedwhynot]

My husband was born and raised in a neglectful and abusive home. He refuses to admit it or take responsibility for his behavior. I can't be with him until he does. I didn't know how dysfunctional his childhood was until we had been married for a while. I tried to work on our relationship and myself. I have come to know that l can't fix him. He refuses to seek help for his problems.

[@ilektrakaratasiou3352]

I totally get you. My dad comes from such s family too and it is very frustrating that he doesn't admit it especially to my mum. The truth would heal him more than it would benefit any of us yet he can't bring himself to speak the truth. Why? Because he puts so much worth into his dissociated view of his "perfect" family.

[@sirenofsound]

I have been SO neglectful. Please, please tell me that there's light at the end of the tunnel. I'm ready to grow, I acknowledge it, I'm ready to be completely awesome. Maybe not perfect, but way better. Nicer. More interested in our home and our life and our projects together. This weekend was our very last big fight for my Frank-ness. I just need reassurance that after 17 years and maybe 10 or so years of this CRAP I've basically pulled, that there's a chance to help heal all the papercuts. I want his best again. And i know exactly what to do to give him MY best. We both deserve a better shot.

[@kellyandrews1260]

I realize this video is a year old. Be that as it may…. It’s important to consider that women are socialized to be kind, attentive, caring, etc as a means of social acceptance and survival, far more than men. However, Being that humans rely on social connections to be genuinely healthy, it’s safe to say we all have the capacity for nurturing connection and safety. Speaking to my own experiences, it was only after years of therapy that I learned to see how much I was over functioning in the “always be kind, smile, take care of ppl, always help where ever you can etc” arena. I’d venture to say I’m not alone in that. Reading Dr Gabor Matés book, When The Body Says No, very much helped to define boundaries of safe and healthy habits when it comes to being “inherently kind and nurturing”. If only having one nurturing parent was sufficient, we’d not see as many severed parental relationships as we do.

[@TheBaumcm]

I only had one and, whether it was inherent to me or I chose to see it that way, they were my role model. It was my dad and I’m adopted. They have two biological children, older, and my younger brother was also adopted. My younger brother and I turned out like him while my siblings went more the manipulative ways of our mom. My dad was the gruff teddy bear, always there with a hug, never letting a conversation end without a “Love ya” (chalk it up to his EMS work), and putting others first (small town and almost everyone was family. Hell on a teenagers dating life😂). Shows that to some degree, it is inherent to the person/environment, and to some degree, it is a choice.

[@thislittleweirdgirl332]

How do you validate emotions or emotional responses that are a result of the story someone is making up in their head? I'm asking for reals, because this happened to me A LOT. My ex-husband said I was emotionally unavailable, but I tried really hard to be there for him. One morning, I was absolutely blasted for saying "How are you doing this morning? I'm sorry I wasn't feeling well last night and couldn't hang out with you", instead of "I'm sorry I wasn't feeling well last night and couldn't hang out with you. How are you doing this morning?". I was actually told I "Didn't give a **** about him" because I put two thoughts out of order, and that was after trying to come snuggle and comfort him when I found him crying in the morning. Sometimes, it felt like his emotions were weapons and I felt like I was ducking and covering, waiting for a missile strike from nowhere.

[@user-fu3rk2wu8u]

There are some things we can’t own in a relationship. I’ve been told by a man in a relationship that I “always wanted to start an argument”, “always nag”, and “are always complaining”. They said this even though NO OTHER person in my life would ever say I’m this way. I’ve done the work to self-reflect, sought on-going therapy, and grow. I KNOW this isn’t who I or how I act. I refuse to own that. It’s not mine to own, it’s his. Please know that you deserve so much more than someone who accuses you of this when you know it isn’t accurate. 💗

[@Dachdogoriginal]

That is NOT you. That is abuse. And trying to keep you in the wrong so they feel better about their crappy behavior. I'm glad he is your EX. I hope you can process all that happened to you and get in level ground. While we can improve ourselves, if you're a naturally quiet introverted person, that is not wrong. He needed to find what he wanted and needed. Not force you to be it. When you're more solid, have deep respect for yourself, you will write down all the things you want un a relationship and find Someone that has those things. Not make someone be those things or settle for someone that doesn't respect you. ❤❤❤❤🥰🥰🥰

[@TheBaumcm]

You can never own someone else’s response, and you can’t make anyone feel anything, and vice versa. That sounds vindictive, petty and childish.

[@ND-or5so]

We are not always right just because I think I am. But I am. Lol! Yes Physically? Fo sho. "Don't let the back door hit you on your way out"

[@TeresaJeanna]

You say healthy people apologize and improve. I did that and he still ran off with another woman. I believe all women have the capacity to be disrespectful, especially as time goes by. As the phrase goes - familiarity breeds contempt.

[@TheBaumcm]

Doing what is right is no guarantee of a positive outcome, nor is a piece of paper or having children together.