Not Doing That Great

In which John is feeling a bit like all his nerve endings are on the outside of his body. But I do sincerely hope you like the turtles all the way down movie, which comes out Thursday on Max. • Turtles All The Way Do...
----
Subscribe to our newsletter! werehere.beehiiv.com/subscribe
Learn more about our project to help Partners in Health radically reduce maternal mortality in Sierra Leone: www.pih.org/hankandjohn
If you're able to donate $2,000 or more to this effort, please join our matching fund: pih.org/hankandjohnmatch
If you're in Canada, you can donate here: pihcanada.org/hankandjohn

[@GinnyDi]

"I am extremely thin of skin at the moment" is officially entering my vocabulary now

[@NaughtyShepherd]

Same 😂

[@hopewilliard6781]

And mine.

[@raulllavaneras]

Sounds like something my PC would say at 1HP

[@ruolbu]

what a line to get tattooed!

[@iainstevens-guille5561]

The fact that GinnyDi is a Nerdfighter suprises me not at all ;)

[@evanrman8048]

You're allowed to cry, John. You're setting an example for the rest of us that it's part of being human.

[@geeksdo1tbetter]

Crying is normal. I always cry.

[@lucijac8884]

​@@geeksdo1tbetter you, kind person, win the internet today!

[@JF-qf4oq]

Sneezing, though. Not normal at all.

[@harharbinks07]

+

[@JPiplup77]

I have been binging her album and weeping when needed. We are all allowed to cry. Sometimes there’s just too many emotions to hold them all in, be it good, or bad, or both. Sending love, understanding, and excitement for the movie. 💜

[@savs88]

When I first saw Vlogbrothers, I was a college student. Now I'm a law professor. I also struggle with mental illness. Thank you for being an older figure I could observe and resonate with. I (parasocially, respectfully, distantly) love you, John. Bless you.

[@therealpixie]

I’ve survived over 70 years with depression. Two things have helped me. After many bouts, I realized the problem was not a product of my surroundings, but a result of my bad chemicals. If I have a cold, I do not define myself as a cold, but as a person you happens to have a cold. If I am suffering depression, I do not define myself as that depression, but rather as having that finite condition I will recover from just like a cold. The second is, it’s okay to ask for a "poor baby” sometimes. It just feels so good to have someone commiserate with me, no judgment, just loving acceptance and a desire I feel better.

[@adamgreenspan4988]

self awareness of “uh oh, I’m having some bad chemicals thoughts and feelings, that’s what those are and not an accurate reflection of my self worth and likely future prospects” really helped put me in control with regards to depression. It let me consciously and rationally choose to take a little time out (usually through naps or going to the movies) to let the negative emotions burn off and let me get back to being my actual self again.

[@heydeanie]

"poor baby" reminded me of a wonderful book, faking it by Jennifer Crusie... Couldn't agree more. We all need a " poor baby" occasionally

[@rmdodsonbills]

And if you're really lucky, you might get a person or two in your life who can give you the "poor baby" sometimes without even having to ask.

[@therealpixie]

@@rmdodsonbillsMany of my friends and loved ones exchange our “poor babies”. Never know when you’re gonna’ need one,

[@ccubed215]

This is the first person I’ve ever heard aay “I’ve survived depression for 70 years” so thank you very much. We only ever see examples of people losing the battle on tv.

[@SlashAndInkOfCrimson]

AH. WHY IS HENRY SO TALL. IM IN DENIAL ABOUT ALL OF THIS.

[@vlogbrothers]

Taller than Sarah! -John

[@SlashAndInkOfCrimson]

@@vlogbrothers And then YOU REPLY TO MY COMMENT. What is this the TWILIGHT ZONE?! 😂😂😂

[@twoleftsright]

Henry and Alice are 5 and 3 and you can't tell me otherwise John.

[@SlashAndInkOfCrimson]

@@twoleftsright my thoughts exactly. 😭❤️

[@DarkkestNite]

Paternity leave feels like it was just the other year....

[@danielarthur04]

My dad passed away yesterday so I’m also Not Doing That Great. You said once something along the lines of “the problem with going on holiday is that I take myself with me”. I’m feeling that now. I feel like I’d be better at this if I wasn’t bringing myself and my mental health problems with me in this. I’m trying to tell the people around me that they’re doing a good job, but it’s hard feeling completely powerless as those you love suffer the most. I’m grateful for this video today, I’m grateful for a video today. It’s something beautifully normal. My dad was a great man. I’ll probably delete this soon but I’m feeling a great urge at the moment to tell people. He was and is the best.

[@danielarthur04]

He also always loved my awesome socks. He thought the whole thing was absolutely hilarious, he’d always wait whilst I opened them and ask to see the design, and end up laughing. I haven’t been able to bring myself to open the April socks which arrived today. At some point I will. I might also order a bunch of duplicates at some point.

[@kimono5484]

Sorry about your dad. 💙

[@vlogbrothers]

Dan, there is no way to be good (or bad!) at loss and grief. You're doing a good job. I'm just so so sorry for your loss. -John

[@tygerstripes3752]

I'm so sorry to hear of the loss of your father. This is one of the very hardest times for anyone. I went through my Mother's death a few years ago and all I can say is just keep moving. Do what needs to be done, support others and take support where it's offered.

[@untappedinkwell]

In nerdfighteria, we have a saying when someone we love passes away: Rest in Awesome. If I may, May your dad Rest in Awesome, and may his memory be a blessing in time. And for right now, please be as gentle with yourself as you can, okay? Be gentle for as long as the Grief is with you. And thank you for sharing your memory about the socks. It's wonderful.

[@Fesgtrsa]

I have a very long commute and I have to take the train to work. I’d had a shitty day at work and I was stood in the passage between carriages because I wasn’t in a place to be able to deal with people or being seen. A passing train guard came along, saw my face - then he stopped and asked if I was ok. This is a Northern European country - no one talks to anyone else unless they absolutely have to. He really seemed to mean it. I know he was only doing his job, to look out for people who could be planning something terrible for themselves or others, but no-one had asked me if I was ok in such a long time, that I almost started bawling right then and there. I still think about the guy from time to time. He’ll never know how much that meant to me, and how much just that simple question helped me.

[@HaibaneRakka571]

"all my nerve endings are outside my body" reminds me of a phrase that has quietly fallen out of modern lexicon: "I'm feeling frayed". I think it's a normal human experience to hold ourselves up and then feel a visceral sense of being overwhelmed when we start to wind down. It's something I learned from your books, and I've always felt that BECAUSE it is common is WHY it's important. To feel frayed is part of being human, and the rest of us as humans should love and understand and support a person who is in that moment. Rest well, know that you are loved, thank you for all that you do

[@IlIlllIllIlIIIll]

Your successes do not invalidate struggles. You are allowed to cry.

[@K8tieR6]

+

[@krank23]

++

[@myboatforacar]

+ It's worth noting that your struggles, while completely valid, don't invalidate your successes either.

[@hopegold883]

Yes, and art is a commodity because people want it and value it. That’s how we got the whole idea of buying and selling. As much as I detest the resulting capitalism as we know it today, I can’t help but think it came about naturally.

[@Norman834]

+

[@TwistedRiddles]

John, I hadn’t even considered how much talking about your mental health in public would be a drain on you. I have OCD (I know that in large part BECAUSE you were open in talking about it), and when I have to (well choose to) talk about it in events at work, it’s a drain on me. I am also EXTREMELY privileged, but to quote your brother, it still hurts when I stub my toe.

[@vlogbrothers]

Thanks for those reminders! -John

[@velocirapper]

Great way to frame it

[@dottieanderson267]

I use the "it still hurts when I stub my toe" all to time to help me understand my own feelings. It doesnt mean I don't recognize my privelage, but privelage doesn't negate all pain

[@maj-britt5756]

Dear John Just saw the movie with my daughter who has OCD. She cried! She felt so seen, it was tough for her to see OCD “from the outside” and she felt so hard with Aza - because she KNOWS how she feels (the bandaid spot on). But it was a good experience and we loved it. My daughter is doing exposure therapy and fighting her OCD every day and we believe she will learn to control her OCD, but it is a fight that requires great strength, willpower and courage. Thank you for this! With gratitude Maj from Denmark

[@annawenrich]

Someone empathizing and saying, "this must be quite difficult for you, I'm sorry" and responding by saying "thank you," and bursting into tears was my experience multiple times this past week.

[@k33k32]

I hope your week gets better soon

[@hellosaera]

it’s nice when people acknowledge each other as human

[@vlogbrothers]

Not the internet's specialty but nerdfighteria is generally quite good at it! -John

[@sometalkaboutbeinghuman]

i agree! ❤❤

[@elisa.llew-send]

++

[@feuilletoniste]

Yes! It's why I've been feeling weirdly nostalgic for the worst days of the pandemic of late - not because I was having a good time, and nor was anyone else, but because for that brief moment everyone agreed that it was more important to be human and mutually vulnerable and honest about our anxiety and exhaustion than to put on a smiling face in the name of Productivity. How swiftly the institutions that bind us forget...

[@EcceJack]

+

[@matteratt]

“I, while trying to say ‘thank you,’ burst into tears” might be my favorite description of how weird it is to be a human among other humans

[@ayerhead07]

I'm feeling very seen by that statement. My 39-year-old husband was hospitalized with a pulmonary embolism this weekend after a relatively routine shoulder surgery, and it's the first major health crisis either of us have ever faced. At one point some friends were staying with him while another friend took me out to get some air. I was picking up sandwiches from Firehouse Subs and was very clearly Not Doing Well. As I was leaving, a very precious little girl about 6 years old in a princess dress was walking out ahead of me with her parents. There was enough of a gap that the door closed between us, but the little girl stopped and waited, then opened the door and held it for me. I, while trying to say "thank you," burst into tears. I try my best to live the ethos that you never know what someone else is going through, and right now I'm on the other side of it. I having so many swirling feelings of fear, anger, gratitude for the people holding us up. I couldn't finish Hank's last video because it was just so raw, as I was sitting in the hospital with my sleeping husband who hours earlier had been writhing in the worst pain of his life. Life is so weird and sometimes so fucking hard, and I'm so grateful that being a Nerdfighter has helped me both see people as people and learn to let them see me.

[@waffles3629]

Yep, I loved that, even if it hit me like a gut punch. I've been there, and it's hard and scary and vulnerable.

[@carolinecagle3266]

Thank you.

[@OneTraveller]

@ayerhead07 - I'm so sorry you're going through this. Sending love to you and your husband.

[@Me-vn3gz]

this is why i struggle to talk about what im feeling while im feeling it, afterwards there’s distance between me and the feeling so i can speak plainly about it

[@jojo02114]

I have been married for ten years. So I deeply appreciated the line: "Spoiler alert: the secret is, like, mutual respect." when describing how you and Sarah have had a long and healthy marriage. I find it a mix of funny, infuriating, and sad when popular culture is like, "Man, they've been married for more than 6 months. What is this ancient magic?" I am flying to Chicago today with my family to commemorate the one year anniversary of my mom's death this Sunday (Hank's One Year Out video also really hit home hard because of this, particularly because she passed away due to pancreatic cancer). Needless to say I am also very thin of skin at the moment. I do want to say though that in light of the movie I recently purchased and read TATWD for the first time. It has helped me immensely in wading through my own mental illness and grief. It's also given me a new perspective into OCD (which I do not have) and given me a deeper respect for you and all who suffer from it. Thank you for reminding me that we can struggle with mental illness and still live joyful and meaningful lives. I look forward to watching the movie tomorrow.

[@k33k32]

Sorry for your loss, internet stranger.

[@marciadafne]

Scrolling down the comments to find someone talking about the super secret recipe of mutual respect

[@whatcanidooo]

For me, OCD has been one of the few illnesses where talking about it doesn’t always help me. So I really can’t imagine what it would be like having to do it constantly. We’re all proud of you and grateful for what you put out in the world, John, and your life being good doesn’t mean you stop being a human who is allowed to not feel great

[@AeroKlaine]

Big love to that reporter (I would’ve cried too, John)

[@vlogbrothers]

Big big love to that reporter. Such empathy! -John

[@DeborahBoschert]

@@vlogbrothers Terry Gross could learn a thing or two from him, ahem.

[@therabbithat]

When he said what the reporter said I was like "that would make me cry" and then he said he cried and like, of course!

[@Martcapt]

I fucking love this corner of the internet. People are allowed to feel their feelings.

[@untappedinkwell]

+ It's a very good corner.

[@emilymartin5418]

+

[@N3rdfightermom]

It is the only part of the internet that I read the comments

[@lauriedepaurie]

I recall a neuropsychologist who said: happiness is a chemical state of the brain, which if anything, is only mildy and temporarily affected by external factors. I love our human nature trying to find logic in things, because we find it so often and learn from it. But there is no logic to our emotions, let alone thought spirals, anxieties etc. Being fortunate doesn't change it. If anything, from personal experience, being depressed just makes me feel even more awful BECAUSE I know I'm privileged. You're such a great advocate. Thanks! We need you, we love you and we're here for you.

[@emilypollock4581]

Seeing John’s kids being so big really blew my mind. I was their age when I started watching vlog brothers and really feel like they helped raise me and help create my sense of empathy growing up and I don’t have words to express how grateful I am

[@FlyKiwi]

Mutual Respect is a seriously underrated relationship tool.

[@untappedinkwell]

big mood.

[@jliller]

I would imagine since most relationships involve an imbalance of power and control that typically impairs mutual respect.

[@FlyKiwi]

@@jliller Gross, imagine living like that by choice

[@jliller]

@@FlyKiwi A lot of people want to dominate or be dominated. Lots of reasons why: self-esteem issues, trust issues, control issues, upbring, narcissism, sociopathy. I agree they're all unhealthy. To say nothing of the relationships (romantic or otherwise) where the imbalance is involuntary. For example, ideally everyone should have a mutually respectful relationship with their boss at work, but the power imbalance makes it inherently difficult for most people, even in situations where both boss and employee have genuinely good intentions and behavior.

[@paddleduck5328]

👏

[@maggieo]

Yesterday, I did the dishes, put a bunch of old magazines in the recycle bin, opened a week's worth of mail and packages, and in the same way John cried when the reporter talked to him, I'm crying now at my little bit of successful self-care in the middle of a big depressive episode. Thank you, John and Nerdfighters, for helping me take the win.

[@AndreaCrisp]

You did great. I know how hard just doing the basics can be. 🤗

[@elainebelzDetroit]

You are amazing! I am in awe. I have the same struggle. I hope you're feeling better soon.

[@MarkThePage]

If it was difficult to do, then it wasn't a "little bit" of success. By definition, you had a BIG success today.

[@MinurielLai]

Wow, well done! I've also been struggling with mental health & I KNOW just how daunting even just the dishes can be, so great job!

[@lambentlamprey]

You smashed it. When even the 'little things' take so much effort, every little thing yo=u do is a win.

[@dyskelia]

Awww the burst into tears part when someone shows empathy is so relatable

[@Jamie_says_weirding_is_real]

Thank you, humans who teach me to keep my heart soft. ❤️

[@fionna909]

That’s beautifully said ❤

[@dubulvr]

Pausing my mental breakdown to watch this 🫡 I too am not doing well💀 Edit: Um currently tearing up reading your comments 😭 I love y’all and I’m sending so much love to all of you! Thank you for your messages and I’m so grateful we have such a sense of community🫶🏾

[@AllYouSeeIsHuman]

Hugs from a stranger to you.

[@vampirica89]

take care of yourself 💜

[@emms8]

Sending you heaps of love n hugs❤ Pls take extra good care of yourself ❤️

[@kevinwells9751]

I'm sorry you're going through it right now, I hope that you can find the love and support you need to get through whatever it is and that you make it out to the other side

[@evanrman8048]

❤

[@BelindaShort]

I was in a dispensary and I mentioned I had cluster headaches, and the girl behind the counter said OMG I'm so sorry, those are so terrible! I broke down into tears because that was the first time I felt seen. Congratulations about the book and the movie!

[@Judymontel]

Ahhh. Many years ago I met a new friend with a newborn in a baby carriage. She had many other children of various ages and had also organized the wedding of one of her older sons. She was very happy. She was very blessed. But the way it felt at the moment... she was really, really exhausted. It was all good news - the best news - but good things are also exhausting and wear you down. It was an important lesson for me. I hope you have adequate recovery time real soon, John!!

[@thevortex7075]

“a weird mix of being overjoyed and at the same time, not doing that great”. Wow that really resonated. Thanks John for sharing this.

[@Jesslovescoffee29]

I applaud John for graying out his kids faces. More famous parents should do that! Bravo so happy for you!

[@Alfonso162008]

It's great, but sadly, if they were at the red carpet with him, he can't do anything about it if they published the photos in magazines and other websites and stuff.

[@Hellenrosehart]

@@Alfonso162008i mean, if they're there it seems like him and Sarah are okay with that. Just not on the youtube channel, I guess you have to draw the line somewhere.

[@kaypgirl]

I think they're of an age where John usually asks them if they want to be in his videos or Instagram. Henry was on John's Instagram post where they showed off their red carpet outfits and Alice wasn't. The kids would have made the choice to walk the red carpet and pose for photos.

[@christopherdelude9441]

"I have won a bunch of lotteries" -- I've often daydreamed of winning the lottery, and when I do it usually devolves into thinking how stressful it would be to manage the logistics of getting it, donating it, filing taxes with it, handling pressure I get from outside people...blessings can be extraordinarily stressful! Stay hydrated, eat well, get sleep, and take care of yourself John!

[@N3rdfightermom]

I always tell my kids it would be great to be rich but I would NEVER want to be famous! But I am also an accountant so I feel like I could handle the taxes 🙂

[@wildflower1397]

Here is an alternative narrative. When you win, hire a lawyer and a financial advisor before you even claim the prize. You can now afford to let them deal with all the b.s. for you. Then you can just sit on the golden egg and let let it all sink in for a while, before making big decisions. If you are already thinking about donating some of it, then you are naturally generous, so it will come easy to you. It's the people who try to buy everything and do everything all at once who get into trouble. But not you, because you are busy relaxing outside and enjoying the feeling of knowing that you have all the time in the world to decide what to do next. :)

[@3countylaugh]

Blessing can't be extraordinarily stressful is a useful thought for me too

[@vyssla]

Strange as it may sound, my expensive is that it's not just scary when you open up and someone reacts badly, it's also scary when they react in a good way. Like you get tripped up about if its authentic, manipulation, pity, or just tripped up in general. I even react with crying when I witness ppl reacting in a good way to mental illness. My therapist says that's a kind of grief, and that it won't be like that forever, but grief takes time to get out of your system. Because I am fundamentally sad that mental illness is stimatized. So thank you for working on improving our lives

[@adwitiyadixit]

I got rediagnosed with Depression in my PhD and I have been open about both being diagnosed and the medication in an attempt to destigmatise the illness. It is crucial that we do so because until I heard John say that he is tired not just physically but existentially, I did not allow myself to be tired existentially.

[@kimmykimmie]

The movie has so many good hints to nerdfighteria and honestly it made me cry so much.

[@lyadmilo]

I just got home from the psych ward. Much love for all those Not Doing Great. For both very personal and very global/geopolitical reasons, this has been the worst year of my life but my wife and friends have risen so greatly to the challenge of loving me that I am forever grateful beyond measure. One day I will see that it is because I am worth it.

[@untappedinkwell]

May the day that you see it be closer than you think. Thank you for being here with us.

[@niftythegoblin]

I was in your position last year. It was, truly, one of the hardest years of my life. Developing selfworth comes with small acts of personal recognition. Even for things that you think are not worth celebrating - "I didn't talk down to myself today!" "I got out of and/OR did my bed" and don't get me wrong, it feels silly at first. Sometimes it feels like you're condescending yourself. But weirdly, the harder you push at that, as well as unpack any traumas w a mental health professional, you will see a difference. You are not just loved, but you are deserving of that love, and you deserve to love yourself. I hope you get there soon :)

[@theazalealemon]

My mantra is "I am beloved, and I am enough." It makes so much difference to know that. I hope you can start believing it soon.

[@sydney5228]

i’m glad you’re here 🫶🏻

[@earnestlanguage4242]

i can relate bud. i am a person and I deserve kindness and a better world. you are also a person and deserve good.❤

[@theladyincute1]

I relate so much with this sentiment. I grew up very poor - like my mother and I were homeless poor - and today I have a wonderful husband, son, I went to great universities, we just bought our first home, I have my dream job that pays me well, I am really living the dream that I never thought was possible for me. But some days are hard, and mental health issues run in my family. I often feel guilty for even thinking about being sad or anxious. But we’re human, and sometimes we need to cry even when we’re thankful. Appreciate you reminding us of that.

[@luanmarinhomoraes4975]

just here to say that I'm proud of you John! You're an awesome PE teacher!

[@charliesnow664]

"All of my dreams are coming true??" - he said incredulously.

[@marcellastname6862]

"And I, while trying to say thank you, kind of burst into tears" is a total vibe

[@KWolf2013]

I've noticed that when I am hugely overjoyed that can tip me right back to anxiety because there is so much going on in my body. I can't imagine the feelings for such a huge project that involves so many people and is so personal. Thank you so much for helping people learn to talk about mental health ❤️

[@RobotLovesKitten]

John, thank you for Turtles All the Way Down. It means so much to me as a book and as a talking point. It has been nice to hand that book to people and say 'This! This is what a spiral feels like for me.' I hope you are able to rest soon and restore. But I am enternally grateful for the work you are doing talking about mental illness.

[@twoleftsright]

This video really hit home for me. I have had a gruelling 5 year journey to getting my PhD, and I took 3 weeks off over Easter to decompress and celebrate. Then, when I got back to things my dog passed away suddenly and now I am lying on the couch, coughing my lungs out with the flu. So I, too, am not doing great, and I, too, cried at that reporter's empathy. Stay strong John. You're almost home.

[@iiiiitsmagreta1240]

I'm sorry past what words can express 🫂

[@MinurielLai]

That sounds tough, I hope it gets easier soon!

[@heyimfreckles]

I hate when things pile up back to back like this. I’m in one of those seasons, too. So sorry for the loss of your dog - losing a pet is unbelievably painful. Hope you feel better soon ♥️

[@brm117]

“Life is pretty weird” feels like the modern “Life moves pretty fast” from Ferris Bueller

[@duckofdeathv1595]

Are you implying that Ferris Bueller is not modern? I will not have it!

[@nikkiking4044]

Petition to make a list of questions John would be happy to answer in an interview. Question 1: Who is your favorite Beatle? Q2: What is your favorite color?

[@gek3138]

Sounds like a vulnerability hangover ❤️ you shared a lot.

[@emilydana5021]

John, I’m currently in my last month before ordination as a rabbi before going into my job as a children’s hospital chaplain and i very much relate to the feeling that everything is amazing and dreams coming true but feeling unbelievably thin of skin at the moment. We are all allowed to cry.

[@geeksdo1tbetter]

chag pesach sameach!

[@jonm4206]

Cut to Bo Burnham Inside, "I am not... well" followed by sobbing into his hands. Next time you're feeling overwhelmed send Hank, most of the magazines and non nerdfighters will spend like 5 seconds confused, then assume they had you backwards for the last 10 years. When they ask him if its hard talking about the spirals he'll be like, "Oh yeah let me tell you John.... I mean I... find that very challenging. Wanna hear about Mars?"

[@afroceltduck]

As in baseball, where you have a "designated hitter", maybe Hank should be the "designated John"?

[@carolinecagle3266]

Thank you. 🎉 Don't forget to be awesome, John.

[@kkmcbeath]

Just finished the film... so beautiful. Thank you.

[@idaslapter5987]

Hey John, as they say in your hometown, don't forget that you are awesome. ❤ Hang in there.

[@Speilbilde]

+++

[@triciac.5078]

I'm glad someone in all of this craziness realized that you're human, John. We know you're human, we see it every week when you share a piece of yourself with us. Thank you for showing us your humanity.

[@davidhammersborg2298]

John, I am praying for peace for you. God bless!

[@dsbs42]

I can only imagine how constantly talking about things that you struggle with can trigger or exacerbate those feelings. I know it's a KZbin comment section and you'll probably never see this, but I have never felt so seen as I did when I read Turtles All the Way Down. You described my internal struggle with OCD and germaphobia as a teenager to accurately I felt like you'd somehow read my diary. And seeing that on the page and hearing all the people it resonated with really made me feel less alone and weird. So add me to the list of people who appreciate you and all you've given so much. And I don't know how the press and agents feel about it, but from my perspective, take as much time as you need to unwind and recharge.

[@rougnashi]

Just because your boat is a different shape from another's, doesn't mean it can't fill with water all the same. It's okay that you're struggling with this, John. You're human; we'd never ask any more or less than for you to be yourself.

[@bellablue5285]

I like that analogy tbh, haven't heard it before, but I like it

[@emilydana5021]

This is such a good metaphor

[@kelsiedonaldson]

They said “babe you gotta fake it till you make it” and you did. Sending best wishes!

[@lauraceae8037]

John, hearing you talk so honestly about your OCD and the absolute hell it can be has been so helpful in validating my experience and explaining it to others. I recently exited what can only be described as a very extreme year-long episode of near constant scrupulously and existential ocd, and one of the hardest things about it was explaining to people that, no, ocd isn’t “just” being neat or clean or organized: sometimes the compulsions are more invisible, and either way they can be all-consuming. Thank you for coming out of your comfort zone for people like me

[@RainbowSprnklz]

those moments where someone just suddenly SEES you and acknowledges your pain, like you experienced with that reporter, are always such reality shifting moments where like suddenly this person made you slip and fall and part of you is like ahhhh but also youve never needed to lay flat more in youre life. When that happens it sticks in my mind forever

[@jenniferlutzky7847]

Fellow middle-aged nerdfighter here. Came out to the Festival of Books specifically to see the movie and especially your panel, despite being on the tail end of a round of chemotherapy, because I know how hard this all is for you and somehow it felt supportive to be there? And knowing how hard the publicity part is for you makes all the wonderful things you say even more meaningful. I'm so grateful you are able to push through all the discomfort because it's so important for people to see this movie and hear what you have to say. Please take care of yourself.

[@n_hmo1287]

Middle-agreed chemotherapy-experienced here. Sending you a big hug

[@jenniferlutzky7847]

@@n_hmo1287 Thank you so much!

[@jenniferburns2530]

Thank you for letting us see when you are not ok, and how mental health is not always a simple equation of "good things happening means improved mental health." Your insight into your privilege and struggles reminds all of us that people are complicated, our brains are complicated, and self-compassion is crucial.

[@MarkFaldborg]

Seeing Henry being not a tiny child is odd. The video where you and him cook dinner is a frequent rewatch for me, it just brings me so much joy.

[@HonestlyElsie]

I just watched the movie and it was incredible. So moving and real. I'm very grateful for your presence in the world John. Your work has been a balm and inspiration to me for over a decade. ❤

[@mineola_]

I just had an appointment with my psychiatrist where she insisted we up my ketamine appointments to twice a week to stop my spiral. So I feel you John. Take care. ❤

[@geeksdo1tbetter]

Good luck with the new regimen! (Is that the correct spelling?)

[@colonelb]

One of the things that helps me when I'm feeling any sort of guilt or shame about my mental health issues getting in the way of life is to remind myself that my anxieties, spiraling thoughts, and other challenges are the result of brain chemicals and structures that have no means of asking, "is now a good time?", nor would they care if they could. They are just doing what they do on the cellular level and they have no clock or calendar. I can't get mad at myself for what my cells are doing or when they are doing it. That helps me put things into perspective - hope it helps others. Cheers.

[@carollewis5919]

I watched Turtles all the Way Down just the other day. I randomly came across it on Max and recognized the title and remembered that I never got a chance to read it, so I didn't know what it was going to be about. ( I'm 60 but read a lot of YA books when my daughter was in her teens, at least three by John Green) The movie was great and well done and very emotional. I have a better understanding of OCD now. John, I hope you are at peace back home in Indiana. I also enjoyed the cameo. Thank you for all your wonderful work.

[@JoannaPiancastelli]

You are a "talking about my mental health" hero for me and a lot of other people. If you said it was easy, we'd stop relating.

[@JemRochelle]

I also have OCD, and recently I was not doing that great. It's rough. Glad you're here with us John 💖

[@eviera58]

I hope you do great soon John!!

[@BrandonGoranson]

Been looking forward to the movie for a month, and it was absolutely lovely to watch. My partner didn’t have a chance to read the book, so we implemented a rule: I would answer “John and Hank” questions during the movie, and story questions after. It was a really nice time.

[@JackFrosteee]

I just finished the movie. Having already read the book and listened to the audiobook, I loved it... especially your cameo as the coach.

[@theanuragsoni]

"Aza can you at least pretend to play"

[@darsynia]

That part where you point out both you and the reporter are experiencing humanity instead of villainy is the most writer thing EVER and as a writer myself I LOVE. I think you know but it bears repeating: so many of us are Nerdfighters not just because you two are good at what you do and what you create but you're just good at being human in human ways. You allow us into the magic fabric of your dreaming!

[@swightfoof]

I first found your work because I heard you on Fresh Air years ago and I was so furious at Terry Gross's inappropriate questions that I felt compelled to find your work and listen to you on your terms. I've been a Nerdfighter ever since. Which is to say, I'm so sorry that you have to go through these incredibly exposing and upsetting interviews. Your work, hearing you on your terms not on the terms of celebrity, is so meaningful

[@Jarevonum2004]

currently reading your book, "Paper Towns " though I have not watched the film for it just yet, I think regardless of how bad or great your adaptations are they are always going to be amazing in someones perspective. You are amazing, no one should tell you other wise, I mean you write books for god sake. you are no film maker. As long as you feel proud of it, the like minded individuals who are die hard john green fans will come flocking in no matter how you feel! I am proud to say I am one of them!

[@arikleiman]

Sending you lots of love and extra goodness today, John!

[@TheSarahEllie01]

As a person who carries OCD with me wherever I go like the ugliest little handbag I can relate to the impossible task of talking about OCD while experiencing OCD and I am grateful that you put this experience into words- not just so others can try to understand but so that those of us who relate can share those words and know that other people feel the same. Many hopes that your nerve endings end up back inside your body soon! Can't wait for this film

[@DrThalnos]

The description of exposed nerve endings made me think of a hedgehog with nerves instead of spikes and that sounds horrific, thanks !

[@ollie72]

this is so so real and true and honest. i am fortunate and privileged enough to have been recently diagnosed with an often-invisible disability, but now that means in order to advocate for myself, i have to explain every aspect of the inner workings of my brain and heart and soul. like in order to succeed and survive i must be dissected. it’s a strange feeling for sure. thank you for sharing.

[@brunerguy1]

I feel comfortable being here. John, thank you. Just so appreciative that you are in my/our life.

[@vihakingwhimsicalflame]

glad to hear your kids enjoyed it :)

[@paulkinzer7661]

'It's complicated.' I cannot imagine all that you are going through. Thanks for your honesty and for having the nerve to share with all of us.

[@K8tieR6]

+

[@forthewinberly]

"Love, holmesie, is how you become real." Feeling and breathing through your emotions is exactly how you live and feel alive once you're real. John, you're alive, so am I, so are we all viewing this, and it's turtles all the way down. 💜💜

[@EggheadJr1]

As a younger brother who lost his older brother, you're doing fine. Thanks.

[@Bostnfn]

OCD sufferer here. Thank you for those times that you can be vocal about it. I've used a lot of yours and your brother's Crash Course videos to help my special-ed students. You guys do great important things, and to do it while fighting OCD is just awesome. It's tough man. I wish you the best.

[@sarahleonard7309]

As far as I can tell, you are in good company. Quite a few celebrities have opened up about their own mental health issues over the last decade or so. They love the creative and community building aspects of their jobs, but struggle to find space and time to decompress and deal with their thoughts and feelings in a healthy way. And hearing that matters to the rest of us schlubs! The honesty matters. So I'm very glad that you get to just be you again in a few days instead of being The Guy in Front of the Camera.

[@ScentlessSun]

John, I’ve had depression that has required medication since I was 12 years old. I’m about to be 39. It’s okay to cry my friend. Life can be overwhelming at times, and it’s cathartic to release those emotions. Never feel ashamed of your mental health struggles. The more we talk about these things, the more people understand how many of us are struggling, and we need to know that we are out here together struggling. We aren’t alone, and we can talk about this stuff. There’s comfort in that. Thank you for what you do sir. Best wishes always, Alex.

[@JoeMTRBWY]

I'm sorry, John, for how overwhelming that must be. But thank you so much for breathing life into such an important story. It means a lot to so many of us. You don't need our permission, but yeah, you're definitely allowed to cry. I know I would.

[@alysonmarie]

I realize this may come off as sarcastic, but I mean it so genuinely deep in my soul - John, thank you for being so freaking awesome.

[@tbella5186]

John, of all the things I am, a NerdFighter is one of my most proud and joyful, even through the struggles. So thank you, and I hope today you breathe in some of that joy!

[@ericafurgiuele1105]

Behold! The Johnny Greeniest of all the John Green videos maybe ever ❤❤❤ we love, you, John! Take care of yourself. We'll be here when you get back.

[@erinconroy1169]

I just watched the movie last night - it was so good!!! I busted out crying when I heard “we’re here because we’re here”. Beautiful job done by everyone!

[@Aatagawa25]

As a writer who was diagnosed as an adult with mental health (GAD/ADHD), thank you for writing this book and sharing a glimpse into your navigation of being a writer even with all of the thought spirals and complexities that come with it. Some of my anxieties come in the form of 'what if I don't publish my book', and then immediately after 'oh god and what if I do?' Or 'What if no one reads my book' then 'what if they do?' Learning where my support systems are and how to navigate the work-life-writing balance has left me clinging onto my notebook and the dreams held within while the pressures of adult life and a family I am at once insanely grateful for, attempts to crush me. But knowing that it's possible to write about the important stuff makes me want to do so even harder. So I guess I just wanted to say thank you for being a bit of encouragement as I make my way on my own path. I'm so happy that you liked the movie, and I'm excited to see it soon too.

[@ryguydavis]

Thank you, John. I feel such immense gratitude for your humanity in public.

[@blueboxmama2034]

Nerdfighteria is behind you, John. Thanks for all your vulnerability. 💜

[@RobertHollis]

Thank you for being a blessing! You inspire so many people!

[@GuyWithBoard]

Love that John blocks out his lil nerdfighters faces on the internet❤️

[@banditrests]

For some reason this really reminds me of that interview where someone asked Robert Downey Jr if he’s like Tony Stark and he says no, that’s a billionaire with a bunch of toys, I’m married with kids, I’m a martial artist and I have goats and alpacas. Also everything about Taylor Swift makes way more sense if you think about her as a depressed millennial who got famous at 17 who is coincidentally one of the most talented singer song writers of the 21st century.

[@thatjillgirl]

I am always very fascinated by people like Taylor Swift who have lived such patently unusual lives. It must be such a strange and isolating experience, even while it comes with immense privilege.

[@kelseyday2884]

as someone who’s struggled all their life with OCD and thought spirals, I can’t tell you how much it meant to me to see this movie last night. I was worried about how they would portray the inner eco system of the story but they did such a good job and I’m so grateful to have a movie out there about people like me. thank you john❤

[@macke2879]

I relate to the "being overjoyed and not doing so well at the same time" kind of feeling. I believe you'll get through it, John. Some people are famous because of luck, some people are famous because they've stepped down on other people, but John, you're famous because you've done great things.

[@Chris_and_Cory]

If it's any consolation I expect to cry a great deal on Thursday, so I'll be right there with you John ❤️

[@benziko1460]

You and hank have some of the most thoughtful and "real" advice I've ever heard about work life balance and managing mental health in these strange times so thank you for being such a good human John

[@HallelujahHotdog]

Being a human is joyous heartbreak. Thanks for sharing, brother.

[@cherylcarlson3315]

You plucked the string have been fighting since becoming disabled. Sitting on my writing which I totally believe in because stress wipes me out, fearful of dealing with crowds with fragile immune system. Overwhelmed by thought of more business decisions. That spiral is something no friend understands