'NOT OKAY' the Dear Evan Hansen For Tik Tok Girls? | Explained

[@AmandaTheJedi]

ha ha where the Zillennials at... I am not one of you.

[@__LB_]

My sentiments exactly! Not a Zillennial, much more of a millennial with a confused librarian vibe when the hip internet lingo comes out 😂 There are moments in the video, and the whole energy of this comment, that fully exude the “everything’s fine” dog/fire meme. More of an undertone in the video. But thanks for bringing levity to the masses and I truly hope that you can find a whole ass, uninterrupted, hour this weekend to zone out and breathe. Sometimes that’s the best part of a hotel stay- the white noise/hotel heavy-but-light silence where you can turn your brain and notifications off for a bit and zone the hell out. But also, wishing you a fun and productive weekend and a clean apartment to come home to! Thanks for putting out a video!! It’s always a good clean fun time. Also, the French 💋👌 chefs kiss. More pleaseandthankyou lol

[@DreFromMaine8472]

I'm a "Xennial" or late Gen-Xer, LOL.

[@BJ-zd2or]

She wanted to be apart of it. God she would stand right next too it with her popcorn seeing it happen.... missing 911.... it was a good movie.... but very sad.... 🥺😔..🍿

[@jonathanwright8025]

@@DreFromMaine8472 I think of my self as gen Y, gen xs young brother.

[@IgnoreMePleaseImBeggingU]

Stupid in love with the shirt hat combo. You are correct. It’s awesome.

[@trinaq]

I actually really appreciated that they deliberately made Danni an unlikeable protagonist, to the point where she actively states that she "Doesn't get a Redemption arc." So many similar movies might have tried to have Danni issue an online apology, with everyone instantly forgiving her.

[@erikdaniels0n]

And yet, by the end, you actually DO somewhat feel bad for her. She doesn’t get redemption but you do kind of feel sympathetic towards her

[@spanglelime]

I hated that stupid trigger warning at the beginning though. Let me decide if she's unlikable and how to feel about it.

[@LebahG4nteng]

@@spanglelime I mean, as a satire, it's pretty clear that not everyone is gonna like the movie and some might feel uncomfortable by Zoey's character so it's understandable why they put a warning sign in the beginning. I honestly thought that warning sign in the beginning was a joke till I found out that they were actually being serious lol

[@ashikjaman1940]

@@spanglelime I mean, considering how mad people get at women and women characters I kinda get it

[@TheBrookelynChick]

@@spanglelime It’s supposed to punctuate “Yeah, this girl sucks. What of it?” Not all protagonists are likable and this movie owns it.

[@ThePonderer]

You definitely covered it really well. Unlike Dear Evan Hansen, this movie is *acutely* aware how awful its protagonist is. Danni is a terrible human being in that way that’s really insidious in how benign it is, and that comes through in every single interaction she has with other people. It’s really effective and it made me feel kinda bad for the moments I caught myself sympathizing with her.

[@trinaq]

Agreed, they actually didn't try to pretend that Danni was an altruistic, humble person, but self serving and conniving, which really worked to their advantage.

[@accioenchiladas]

i'm still pissed that they took "good for you" out of the deh movie

[@excessivelyfangirlingbookw3339]

To be fair, the musical did and it made the story cohesive and believable. Still can’t believe how the movie fucked up so bad…

[@RumpelGnom42]

I think it is okay to feel sympathy for a bad person in a bad situation.

[@ThePonderer]

@@RumpelGnom42 it is, but Danni’s SO obnoxious.

[@nina__serafina]

something I really like is the costuming in this movie. in the beginning she wearing sweats with those resin rings and different colored nails. as she goes deeper down the influencer rabbit hole she starts dressing in more trendy pieces. when she starts haning out with Rowan she copies Roman's style with the baggy pants and oversized button ups. towards the end of the movie she's back in her sweats. it shows how Danni really had no sense of individuality and just wants to fit in. idk I think that's a neat detail.

[@frances6903]

also the sexualised qi pao in that influencer event scene 😭 too accurate to actual influencers bc cultural appropriation is rampant

[@anonymorse1335]

this is such a cool thing you noticed and i think it was a deliberate move by the movie makes for eagle eyed fans that always look for symbolism

[@anonymorse1335]

this is such a cool thing you noticed and i think it was a deliberate move by the movie maker for eagle-eyed fans that always look for symbolism

[@angelicamadrid9291]

I also think her nails never changed and toward the end they are the same set just very grown out

[@Ivuxoxo]

@@angelicamadrid9291 that was confirmed a coincidence but is still interesting even if it was a accident

[@coco604]

I do love that moment when Danni is found out by Harper and frantically trying to bribe her, but Harper just exclaims “People died, Danni!”. Other movies would’ve made Harper out to be jealous of Danni’s success or a bland villain, but it shows that Harper has integrity in calling Danni out.

[@bittywop]

i like harper, she admits that she was jealous but she ultimately she wanted what was best, which i think was really big of her to admit. she could have written that expose and gotten recognition and fame but she gave danni the chance to attempt to make things right on her own and i really loved that.

[@bidishah]

Harper was a great character and I knew straightway that she was gonna expose Danni.

[@trevorwilliams3501]

Not really. The first thing she says is that she went after Danni because she doesn't like her. She started the movie playing mean girl and that didn't change in that scene. The only high ground she took was letting Danni expose herself, and that was out of character. Nothing about the character suggested she'd be that nice in the moment.

[@jamesmayle3787]

Jesus Christ is Lord. Please read at least three books of the Bible. The first book of each testament and one you chose yourself. As you do practice forgiveness. It is an important key most miss. To be forgiven we must forgive. Read and Do. That’s what makes it works. Faith isn’t belief alone, it’s actions based on belief-

[@wegettingrippedtonight1190]

@@jamesmayle3787 shut up

[@JayJay-17]

The trigger warning at the beginning with “unlikeable female protagonist”, ModernGurlz (a KZbinr that also reviewed the film) mentioned that was added cause apparently it was a critique test audiences had of the film. How it kinda points out that a female protagonist being unlikeable isn’t as accepted as male ones.

[@je67tbd]

I definitely have friends who hated her so much they didn’t finish the movie, despite the fact that unlikeable male protagonists lead a lot of movies we watch and revere

[@ziggystatdust6008]

Yes, I’ve realized the dichotomy between people’s reaction towards an unlikable female character vs. that of the male. The woman is intensely hated upon, which should be so, but the internalized and subconscious or conscious misogyny and sexism, which is sadly entrenched in our society, adds to the viciousness of the hate. Whereas the unlikable male character is hated as well, but he is more likely to be seen as a comic relief or gain some defense from other for his behaviour. I’ve noticed this trend in comedy; a woman and a man would say a joke relating to the other gender. The man is more likely to get positive feedback and agreement, whilst the women is more likely to get negative feedback fuelled by sexism and misogyny.

[@OppositeofHATE7]

There are actual studies on this problem in the workplace as well. Female bosses get more negative feedback for no reason versus Male bosses. It's expected of men to be cutthroat and ruthless so they get rewarded for upholding male behavior. Females who are at the top are accused of acting like men so they are disliked for being fake and for not upholding female behaviors.

[@morganwentworth2041]

@@je67tbd Speaking of, going to support groups for someone else's trauma is something that happened in Fight Club, which definitely has an unlikeable main character who sucks but whose movie gets shown in college classes still

[@alatielinara]

yeah, I'm sure if main hero was a man some ppl would've wanted other ending... Always when female is doing something wrong in a movie|TV show|book she get so much more hate than a male character... Sometimes same thing can be praised for male characters and hated for female ones... If there's man stalking it's a romcom, if woman does it it's a thriller

[@pixelatedsushi2438]

Danni reminds me of Alicia Head, the woman who got famous for her fake story of being a 9/11 survivor (The woman Who Wasn't There is a great documentary covering it)

[@AmandaTheJedi]

I have to check it out!

[@carolusrex5213]

@@AmandaTheJedi definitely should, it's fucking wild and 100% has to be part of the inspiration for this.

[@katherinealvarez9216]

I remember the guy who pretended to be a first responder.

[@Zulf85]

Yeah, my assumption from watching this movie is that her story must have been a major influence on it. Legitimately awful human lmao

[@sarahmacdonald955]

Is that on Netflix by chance?

[@mfuentes4961]

Personally, I really liked the movie. It was like a mix of ‘Emily in Paris’, ‘Dear Evan Hansen’, and ‘The Woman Who Wasn’t There’ with more self awareness. I really appreciated that the writers didn’t give Dani a redemption arc and a happy ending. The ending emphasizes how bad and hurtful Dani’s actions were to the people whose trauma she tried to hijack and that people like her don’t deserve forgiveness and need to face the harsh consequences of their actions.

[@frostfang1]

The happy ending was that she grew. It's like if How The Grinch Stole Christmas ended when he heard the Who's song and his heart grew three sizes that day. The movie isn't about her journey to become a better person, but it ends hopefully that she's at the beginning of being able to change for the better and recognize herself and how damaging her own actions are and better hear other people.

[@hugzpls]

@@frostfang1 Happy ending…eh, not really? She didn’t mean to go far into her lie but if she hadn’t been caught, she would’ve still kept going. And Didn’t she said during therapy “I don’t know if I’ve learned anything. I don’t know if I’m better. I don’t know if I’ve grown.” I mean, I think she was just sad in the end that she lost her friend but since everybody hates her, her life from there on out will be much more difficult for her. I wouldn’t call it a happy ending, but a sad one cuz she has to deal with the consequences. Maybe for the rest of her life.

[@jamesmayle3787]

Jesus Christ is Lord. Please read at least three books of the Bible. The first book of each testament and one you chose yourself. As you do practice forgiveness. It is an important key most miss. To be forgiven we must forgive. Read and Do. That’s what makes it works. Faith isn’t belief alone, it’s actions based on belief-

[@dreliq981]

Disagree with the forgiveness part as long as they do the consequences part

[@holding4space]

I really don’t think the whole point of the movie is “some people don’t deserve redemption arcs”

[@No-899]

I noticed something that is subtle but deserves to be talked about, there’s something to be said about Danni (a white woman) taking Rowan’s (a woman of color) idea and message, and then taking it for herself to make herself famous. Which is something that sadly does happen quite often, especially online. Edit: in case my original comment wasn’t clear, when I say “subtle” I’m referring to how there’s definitely an aspect of racism in the fact that a white woman stole the creative ideas of a woman of color.

[@mfuentes4961]

THIS!☝🏽☝🏽☝🏽

[@woudgy]

And Rowan getting to call her out for it at the end

[@sparkelyspacedino]

great point, but hehe 699

[@andromeda_2410]

Rightttt that's what i noticed too

[@jamk2668]

Yeah, this film is as subtle as a sledgehammer to the head.

[@Allonsy305]

This was a pretty good satire of Gen Z. I really liked how the ending refuses to even try to give the unlikeable main character a redemption arc. And it's also a test of how much you can take secondhand embarrassment. Oddly reminded me of Election (1999)

[@trinaq]

Seconded, it's a rarity for a film not to suddenly try to redeem the protagonist, and completely disregard their horrible actions.

[@werelemur1138]

Even watching this review gave me such secondhand embarrassment I was tempted to shut it off, I'm such a wimp.

[@lilypond5158]

Tbh it's a better redemption arc than apologizing and pleading for forgiveness. It's not a conventional redemption arc but ai feel like the character did have an arc and grew as a person. Which is more satisfying that a bad person turning into good person.

[@cai0409]

I don’t know if there was a single moment I wasn’t dying of second-hand embarrassment from multiple characters lmao. I honestly liked the movie. You just have to go into it expecting it to be even dumber than it is.

[@donnamitsuki281]

Unlike Dear Evan Hansen... The protagonist sucks,everyone is aware she sucks,and then she has to suffer the consequences of her actions Which I like a lot

[@nont18411]

If only Dear Evan Hansen was this self aware…and I mean both the show and the movie. The show is already monstrous on its own.

[@mfgrocks11]

OK the protagonist in dear Evan Hansen sucks too though. Lol we just gonna ignore the fact that Evan Hansen weasel his way into Connors family‘s life and Zoe? Like no

[@juniawetmann1311]

One other thing about this ending that is interesting to me is that instead giving the spotlight for Danni to monologue about how much she's grown and seen the errors of her ways (like would happen if they took the typical approach), they instead gave this spotlight for the victim to talk about how this affected her. Instead of making it about Danni and giving what she wanted by reconnecting, she had to listen about how awful she was to Rowan and walk away in shame.

[@o0BlackSand0o]

Something my poppy told me about apologies. Many apologies aren't for the wronged party, they're for the one in the wrong to feel better about themselves, and can put pressure on the wronged party to forgive when they aren't ready. Just because you want to apologise doesn't mean the other person wants to hear it. Truly being sorry is understanding that you need to be the villain in their eyes because you were the villain

[@DestinyKiller]

Thank you for expressing what I was trying to. This was why I'm glad it ended without one. Apologizing may have made Danni feel better because then she could tell herself "at least I apologized but it could make Rowen feel worse and feel like she "should" forgive when she really doesn't have to

[@bluepeppermint3790]

I don't actually know if I agree with this. Acknowledging towards the wronged person that you were in fact wrong and recognise that fully can be very important. Maybe saying "I am truly sorry and I do not expect you to forgive me" is important sometimes idk. If I think off the people who have deeply hurt me a sincere apology or at least acknowledgement of their wrongdoings would be very freeing, even if I won't forgive them.

[@o0BlackSand0o]

@@bluepeppermint3790 so this conversation with my Poppy was actually to do with the fact he hadn't been there as a dad to my father. He said he knew my dad would feel obliged to accept the apology whilst not actually being ready to forgive. He didn't want my dad to invalidate his own feelings because my poppy had apologised. However, Poppy has stated to my dad many times that he was a bad dad and his thankful my dad wasn't like him when it came to me and my brother. That whilst his proud of my dad he knows he can't take any credit of that pride because he didn't teach him to be a dad and it's a huge regret for him. He just hasn't said 'I'm sorry' and instead has made it clear he'll always work to make amends for the past even if dad never forgives him

[@bluepeppermint3790]

@@o0BlackSand0o okay, that makes sense.

[@ZoeHazeldean-lx7xb]

THANK YOU!!!!! Man I wish I could bookmark a youtube comment

[@aabidahsiebritz3839]

This was an interesting watch, and the juxtaposition of Rowan's character with Danni's was necessary because just watching Danni pretend to be a survivor of trauma could still make you sympathize with her. But contrasted with a true survivor like Rowan really drove home how absurd, tone deaf and psychotic Danni's character was being, it was smart to have a foil character like that.

[@Princess_Weekes]

You actually made me want to watch this movie. The power you have XD

[@AmandaTheJedi]

Bless you

[@billyalarie929]

COLLAB VIDEO WHEN?????????

[@spectreharlequin]

That is her Jedi mind trick! :)

[@pandaninja_19]

I love the ending addressing how one is not entitled to being forgiven. I swear many social media aspects love acting like they themselves deserve to be forgiven just cause they say they are sorry. I also love the director calling out the internet sphere on glorifying certain actions/behaviours then proceeding to act surprised when the actions of those on the pedestal are NOW not okay.

[@abnormaltexan]

I heard a girl on tictok say that even though she wasn’t born when 9/11 happened but she has suffered worse trauma from it than people that were alive bc she’s been forced to realize it every year.

[@korpsmaninfantry7238]

Hanz get ze Luger

[@anonymoususer9197]

That is why the internet was a mistake

[@hugzpls]

@@anonymoususer9197 no that’s why Tik Tok is a mistake.

[@anonymoususer9197]

@@hugzpls nah there are multiple loathesome sites like Twitter, reddit and more. I said what I said. The internet. Of course, without it I wouldn't have the opportunity to be on KZbin

[@hugzpls]

@@anonymoususer9197. There are good things but many bad things in the internet as well. Yes you said what you said clearly.

[@kokestomoshira5854]

"Trying to impress Colin is dumb because Colin is dumb" I'm taking that with me😂

[@hugzpls]

It’s dumb because he’s just a twat of a character and unfortunately a lot of influencer guys are like this.

[@nazarisreyes6037]

Apparently, the director added the warning about her being unlikeable because people kept asking why she would tell the story of somebody so unlikeable and not redeemed at the end

[@kaitlynhall2112]

“You don’t want to be like Lena Dunham.” Truer words have never been spoken

[@linah1998]

the thing I'll give this movie credit for is the ending. I like that it's not a switcheroo "everything is fine again". For once the mc actually has to deal with the consequences of her actions

[@samofsamnation7523]

One thing I love about this movie is that every time you begin to feel sorry for Danni, she ruins it by saying or doing something totally out of pocket or just plain wrong. The movie is very aware of how awful their protagonist is.

[@carina-nonbinary]

When she gave the free bag she got at the influencer party to the homeless woman 💀 i died inside

[@VulShanna]

this reminds me so much of the documentary "the woman who wasn't there". which is about a woman who made up an entire elaborate story about how she was in the twin towers during the 9/11 tragedy and she got involved with a support group and lied to these people for multiple years and years while also doing fundraising and helping actual survivors. she had invented a fake fiance as well and pretended to, or perhaps caused, herself to have panic attacks while recounting her fake ptsd trauma.

[@danawalter259]

Same, and I'm shocked I don't see many reviews of this movie reference that true life thing!

[@FallOutGirl1989]

I agree. The ending and decision not to give Danni a redemption arc and that Rowan got to have the last word. As a victim of past abuse it meant the filmmakers knew who deserved an attempt at closure and who had to live with their actions. I’ve had a few people tell me I should forgive/hear out my last abusers now time has passed but just like Rowan you don’t owe them anything. They made their bed and they need to learn to lie in it. I came into this movie expecting a dumpster fire and only watching it for Zoey and Dylan but that ending pleasantly surprised me.

[@tiffany02020]

“Scott’s Tots level of uncomfortable” is such a throwaway sentence that packed SUCH a punch hahaha holy shit

[@Faeree]

I think the actress playing Danni did a really good job acting too. Idk what all she's been in but this role can't be easy lol

[@CreatEr1n]

She's in the Netflix movie Set It Up. She's also in Buffuloed and a few other things. She always lights up the screen.

[@LebahG4nteng]

Zoey Deutch is very talented. She was in Set It Up, a far better formualic romcom movie in Netflix, Buffaloed, The Year of Spectacular Men, Zombieland 2, and recently The Outfit which she co-starred the movie with Dylan O'Brien. So Not Okay is their second collaboration this year. She's one of the most promising and exciting young actresses working today

[@Cayliente]

She’s also in Before I Fall which deals with another unlikeable protagonist who has to deal with how her actions impact others. The book shows more depth of course to the character in both the good and bad, and I don’t want to spoil anything, but I think Zoey did a good job in it as well.

[@emilyb.8219]

I knew her from when she was on The Suite Life on Deck back in the day lol

[@carina-nonbinary]

She's not always been that good, last movie with her i saw is about 10ish years old and she improved so much since then. I was really surprised about her performance in not okay. Generally the actors in not okay were top tier

[@tmntaddict]

For once I didn't have to yell at a movie about how oblivious it is to the terrible protagonist. :) I was a little tired with this being a predictable lie-your-pants-off-for-fame & the other shoe took a little too long to drop but I did like the unhappy/no conclusion ending and her suffering the consequences. If this were the CW or Netflix, Danni and Rowan would've hugged it out. (The guinea pig deserved more screen time)

[@AmandaTheJedi]

Yeah, I love that it just cuts with her walking out. We see Rowan with her support network and family and what happens to Danni doesn't really matter

[@Zulf85]

The ending made me so happy. Ngl, I was enjoying the fact it was predictable because sometimes it's just fascinating to see the downfall of someone who is that unlikable. The elements that humanised her character were what really made this a good movie to me

[@tmntaddict]

@@Zulf85 I definitely appreciated the combo of her being humanized and not getting any redemption. I was very pleased with the ending since I was ready for "can we please talk and hug?"

[@ocinidolegna]

@@tmntaddict i now imagine if she still didnt “get it” and went up to rowan to say that, gets told “no”, and the movie just ends there.

[@tmntaddict]

@@ocinidolegna You know, during her speech, I was expecting Danni to stand up and yell "I'm sorry!"

[@LeoDBW]

There were actually lots of people pretending to have been there during the 2015 terrorists attacks in France. Many have been judged recently because some of them took MONEY from DONATIONS for themselves! Imagine STEALING financial help from traumatized victims who need it to recover!

[@dimwitdove3813]

i love unlikable main characters. there’s something about a narrative actively trying to make me hate a character that makes me like them. also, this reminds me of the girl on tumblr who pretended to have aids, so she wouldn’t get criticism for her hamilton fanfic.

[@SJisReading]

What in God's name..... I know about so many weird Tumblr goings-on, but somehow they still surprise me. How have I never heard about this?

[@dimwitdove3813]

@@SJisReading lol Doubleca5t did an excellent deep dive video covering the whole story. i highly recommend it, if you have time to watch it. it was deleted (unsure why) but someone reuploaded it and it’s the first video that comes up when you search ‘hamilton hiv fanfic’ on youtube.

[@fuckinghelenlikewhatthehel2629]

That’s actually unfortunate, Doublecat5 wanted that video to not get reupload. I also don’t remember why she deleted it but I think it had something to do with her choosing to stop the series

[@dimwitdove3813]

@@fuckinghelenlikewhatthehel2629 oh i didn’t know that otherwise i wouldn’t have suggested it. all of the other videos from that series are still up tho. i wonder if there’s a reason she chose to take that one down specifically.

[@dimwitdove3813]

@@fuckinghelenlikewhatthehel2629 lol okay update after further investigation it seems the video was taken down because of drama with people in the video. although, i’m not sure she would have a problem with it being reuploaded because she took it down because she didn’t feel comfortable profiting off of it.

[@TheJediMazter]

Even on small scale stuff, that moment of realising that you cannot/should not apologise and have to accept that your actions ended a friendship is... Oof. A heavy one.

[@Anynom]

Some good stuff, especially Harper pointing out how anyone could have easily found out the truth about Danni earlier from the weather wrong to claiming to have visited a Notre Dame tha'ts been closed and half-burned for years. "God, does no one fact check anymore?!" But also how Danni's immediate instinct is to bribe and Harper makes it clear she's not like Danni, not doing this because of fame but because she's disgustd at her claims of being a survior as"people DIED." That was a great bit and as others point out, it's helped she doesn't get redeemed in the end and even acknowledges she's not sure she's learned anything.

[@despicablepenguin]

Yeah I was thinking it would be super easy to Google the images she edited online and expose her

[@singsong7874]

I was sooo waiting for Amanda to cover this. Dylan O’Brien was just hilarious to me and I felt horrible for Rowan, she deserved so much better.

[@packnetadaija]

If you want to cover another internet movie and all that jazz I would recommend “Ingrid goes west.” It stars Aubrey Plaza and Elizabeth Olsen. It’s basically about a girl who stalks a social media influencer after the influencer replied to ONE of her comments. It’s really good and I feel like not enough people talk about how good the movie is

[@heymistercarter.]

I was about to say the same thing! And in the movie, Plaza's character starts doing this right after she just left a mental hospital, which she got sent to for pepper-spraying another social media influencer "friend" of hers at the wedding she wasn't invited to. And with Olsen's character, the way Plaza infiltrates her life is by pulling a Seven Psychopaths: kidnapping her dog and returning it when Olsen puts missing posters up. It's interesting how the movie is pretty much an entire commentary, or even satire, on the fakeness of those who participate in the "influencer" lifestyle, and what it can be like for people who get tunnel-visioned into trying to make friends with people in that circuit. It's a well-made movie, but it's a painful and uncomfortable watch sometimes.

[@packnetadaija]

@@heymistercarter. oh yeah for sure! At the time when I watched it I was like heavy addicted to social media and it really made me think about things and the way I interact with social media. The name of the youtuber escapes me ATM but he did a good character analysis on Ingrid in his video and I liked it

[@bidishah]

Can we talk about how brilliant an actor Mia Isaac is??!! I've never seen her in anything before and I literally cried at her scenes.

[@bidishah]

Okay I watched the video till the end after typing that, so I know she mentions it. 😅

[@oliviaocasain9980]

I really appreciate that they didn't give her a redemption arc. Irl very few people actually make the effort nor take the right steps to try and redeem themselves, they just dig themselves into a deeper hole.

[@chelseascreatures]

Not planning on watching the movie, but I do like the fact that the victim isn't forced to accept the protagonist's apology like, "oh you're sorry , OH OKAY I guess I figure you."

[@hardcoregumby09]

I honestly love watching these before seeing the movie. It may “spoil” it but honestly it just makes me more hyped to watch certain things I may not have otherwise. Can’t wait to watch this now. I’d seen a lot of buzz but honestly wasn’t even going to make time for it until this review.

[@erikdaniels0n]

I honestly loved this movie a lot more than I was expecting to. I went in expecting a dark comedy/influencer satire, and while I did get that, I was surprised at how much I ended up actually feeling bad for Danni by the end of the movie

[@Cayliente]

I agree, I feel like most of the comments are just about how terrible Danni was the entire movie, but I feel like they actually did want you to see that she had good qualities too, because that’s real. It would be easy to see her as a completely evil person with no redeeming qualities and undeserving of love, but instead they allowed her to have these moments where we see potential in her and can relate to her. And I mean she got everything she wanted, attention from others, the guy she liked, special treatment, but really the moments you could tell she was truly happy were when she had a friend. And then she had to deal with the fact that her actions are not only the demise of her own happiness, but others as well. They made her a human. The protagonist and antagonist of her own story.

[@akeilahplummer5678]

@@Cayliente this right here is exactly how i felt put into words

[@Dorkubynn]

My first girlfriend was wearing one of those vests when I realized I was falling for her . She asked me if she looked okay for a meeting and I nearly fell up a flight of stairs trying to answer. They definitely had their moment .

[@rebellyanmagic6409]

I wish you could've mentioned the optics of Danni - a white well off woman - appropriating the trauma of a Black girl

[@OppositeofHATE7]

They want to be victims so bad they create it for themselves, and then when it backfires and they get harsh (deserved) hate for it, they get sympathy.....

[@kilimanjaro5537]

@@OppositeofHATE7 this!!

[@tbam73]

@@OppositeofHATE7 absolutely

[@jeanie7555]

Honestly in this age with all of the people faking disorders, self-diagnosing themselves, and just wanting some kind of trauma to feel like they're a part of something... This movie was absolutely needed.

[@jojoslameerrand9305]

Fun thing I learned in therapy, people who fake mental illnesses are mentally ill, just likely not the one they've claimed ( same with wanting trauma being an indicator of trauma). The call is coming from inside the house, just that most people don't introspect deeper past thier chosen security blanket

[@jeanie7555]

@@jojoslameerrand9305 oh definitely! If you feel like and commit to faking an illness- you're definitely ill. Just like you said, not in the way they're trying to pick

[@XxMCRroxnonstopxX]

@@jeanie7555 dude my great aunt faked being paralyzed from the neck down for decades and it was only just before she died that we found out she could move (she started moving her feet after getting doped up on medication). It was crazy. Turns out if your sister gets ill and dies at 12 and your mum runs off with some younger guy and takes your other sister with her the thing to do is fake a degenerative illness and confine yourself to a wheelchair. 😬💀😱

[@jeanie7555]

@@XxMCRroxnonstopxX ... BRUH.

[@XxMCRroxnonstopxX]

@@jeanie7555 🤯 twas a bit of a shock

[@no_i_will_not_shut_up5362]

I just noticed that media and society in general expects women to take responsibility for their actions. When they are acting horribly, they are called out on it. But society wants to sympathize with men. Like judges always say “do you really want to ruin his life”.

[@lazuruswolf6668]

This comment needs more likes.

[@NJGuy1973]

For a man to get ruined, he has to be Harvey Weinstein. A woman just needs to wear the wrong shoes.

[@jazzknh1105]

Your summary actually kinda made me wanna watch the movie. I'm surprised at how well they apparently handled the ending. I'm glad to see an unlikeable protagonist not only grow, but accept the fact that they can't always be forgiven.

[@musicforears5024]

This movie sounds pretty great. I don't know if it's on purpose but it looks like an updated adaptation of the real life story of Alicia Esteve Head (aka Tania Head) - which is an absolutely wild story in itself. Especially how after she started the lie she kept adding details of things she "saw" and "experienced".

[@ravenpotter4004]

I actually loved it. It was so self-aware and nuanced and managed to call out the ridiculousness of so many trends and groups while also having a very serious message. But it still saddens me to see that people didn't fully grasp the movie's message and are taking from it that she is a terrible person period. It's that what she did was horrendous, AND everything that happened after was not okay either. And the most important thing is the impact it had on Rowan and the people she directly hurt. The rest of the world shouldn't have the right to make such personal attacks and threats--that just makes them as awful as her.

[@blinkfilms1]

I like that they made this movie instead of dramatizing a real example of this happening. It gives the social commentary without the weirdness of true crime

[@4amlibra]

It would have made so much more sense for Danni to have locked her laptop but Harper got in anyway because her password is like “password” or something.

[@Cookie-jl4st]

I hope your apartment gets fixed soon. Also can’t wait for season 2 of the Mothership podcast!!

[@AmandaTheJedi]

Filming right now!

[@FortuitousOwl]

I like seeing a movie that touches on the reality of the villain of the week thing that happens online. Like what she did was genuinely awful, but people take that and think it gives them all access to them as a person and they can do whatever they want about it. Also the fact that she doesn’t get immediately forgiven either. These things are super murky issues

[@ellioa3978]

I can’t watch stuff like this because it makes my anxiety spike through the roof so I watch videos on them but this is still hitting me way too hard.

[@talcastle4656]

I saw it in a group with two friends and I think we ended up hyping each other up over how unlikeable Danni was as opposed to paying attention to the movie. I think it accomplishes what it sets out to do but maybe they were a little too good at making Danni a hate sink to the point where it's hard to focus on the plot when everything about her gets under your skin.

[@drfifteenmd7561]

Didn’t you guys actively choose to hate on her though, as much as you guys did? Don’t blame the movie.

[@blackmuzicluver35]

This reminds me of the real-life woman who pretended she had been in one of the towers during 9/11 and had been saved by a firefighter. Even became a spokesperson and all. But, she lied about it all and hadn't even been in the area that day

[@helen.faunway]

This really makes me hope they'll make a docuseries or movie based on Belle Gibson--she's the australian influencer who faked having brain cancer for four years, taking both Harper Collins and Apple for a fuckin ride in the process. People with these personality types are absolutely fascinating, and I honestly do feel a little bad for them...not moreso than their victims of course, but there's something tragic about having a life that's so empty and meaningless and such a desperate desire for attention that they're willing to lie out of their teeth about it for months and even years.

[@kindlyoffer1350]

Your victims aren't obligated to forgive you. Boy, I so wish this lesson was hammered home more often.

[@katharineeavan9705]

instead we get "holding onto hate only hurts yourself. You should forgive everyone who hurts you", as if the onus for change is on victims, and abusers should just get a free pass because not forgiving makes you a bitter, hateful person who will never heal

[@kindlyoffer1350]

@@katharineeavan9705 Yeah, F that. Some people are worthy of hate and unworthy of forgiveness. Thats just the way it is.

[@askerror1987]

This is definitely the kind of movie that I didn't know that I wanted. Thanks for spreading awareness about it, Amanda!

[@sophianichol1009]

I'm not sure if the film is based off or linked in anyway but there's a play called cacophony which is based on a young woman who pretends she was at an attack that put her friend in a coma and deals with the aftermath of the internet's reaction to finding out she wasn't there it's a really interesting play that deals with these same issues

[@erinfrazier1439]

Is there any way I can watch this play on the internet

[@sophianichol1009]

@@erinfrazier1439 I'm not sure you might be able to find a recording on KZbin or it may have been recorded for the national theatre live streaming service?

[@Tvd97]

Honestly like the movie, and a large part of that is because she doesn't get forgiven. To this day, I see people say things like, "they apologized" inregards to influencers and even real life friends. No one is required to forgive someone. And some don't deserve to be forgiven.

[@user-nu5nv1yg5r]

Stalking your victim and begging for forgiveness is another form of violence, just sayin'... It has nothing to do with guilt and everything - with the self-image of the abuser.

[@sashwing7726]

If your wondering it's kind of like the Alicia Esteve Head situation regarding her pretending to be a fake 9/11 victim.

[@jesusdadiel9668]

Hi Amanda I know that was a joke but I still wana say that you’re not trash, I started watching you’re videos about three years ago and it’s been fun since love you’re content and the effort you put in it all of us appreciate

[@fitz2939]

I literally just watched this movie this morning. I found myself rolling my eyes at the beginning and liking it more by the end. I agree the best was the end; I said out loud ‘it should end here’ and it did. Not all movies are fairytales.

[@TessaxMusic95]

This reminds me of a video I found on YT where this guy talks about how he made a TikTok account for fun/as a challenge, posing as Harry Styles and tricked everyone into thinking he was Harry. He did a lot of research and photo editing to make it believable and he detailed the whole process in his video. It was GENIUS but it made me realize how crazy those stan accounts online are and how they don’t have anything better to do but dissect celebrity photos online.

[@jass8689]

I think the dude she was hallucinating was just a visual representation of her guilt

[@joeymills5827]

this movie was…. mostly okay, it really wasn’t as funny as i thought it was going to be. zoey deutch was good but mia isaac completely stole the show with her performances.

[@raingrey3552]

I appreciate you covering this movie, the entire concept of this movie makes me so anxious that even the ads of it stressed me out. So it's nice to see all of the context and have it framed in such a comfortable environment.

[@helixier6629]

If they ever make “mostly okay” they should involve you somehow

[@ahstiasummers5583]

Another notable thing is that how often do you see female characters getting a redemption arc for their horrible behavior? Men who do the same are often given snapshot redemptions while women are sent to burn in hell for similar behavior. I also love that point. "Your victims don't have to forgive you". I've seen too often victims forgiving those who hurt them too easily for the sake of forcing a happy ending, whether that hurt be "I didn't go to your party" or "I made up a great big lie that hurt you" I'm NOT trying to defend Danni, but now that there's an unlikeable female protagonist I'd like to see a story where the unlikeable female protagonist gets a redemption arc

[@Swagguu]

Thank you for this wonderful insight! I would’ve dismissed this movie outright on first glance before watching your take. Side note, I’m a family friend of Angelo Guglielmo, director of The Woman Who Wasn’t There, and I’m going to tell him to watch this and/or your video :)

[@umbreons_mom]

I actually really liked this movie! Especially the fact that Danni doesn’t get anything at the end and it ends there. I was looking to see if any of the KZbinrs included in the movie would say anything about it but I didn’t see any of them say something about it unfortunately.

[@annegrey3780]

I do like how we're starting to see more of "both sides can be wrong in different ways" movies in relation to the internet. Like, it's always been possible that a person can do something really horrible that requires some sort of consequence, AND that the blow back they actually get went to far AND that that doesn't absolve what the person did or absolve the blow back being too extreme. But the internet adds new levels, including you can say something and have 5million people respond, 3 million of which might actually be responding appropriately, 1 million might cross a line, and 1 million might tell you how you're great and you're a hero protecting our freedoms...and that's tough but a lot of the time it's real - and then you get into how some demographics get worse blow back for the same statement than others or where the same person asking for sympathy for being attacked shows no sympathy for the people they attacked yet expects them to come to the aid and set aside everything to console them? Like how do you maintain lines? Especially on the internet when 1 million people could be ready to jump on you no matter what you say? And media isn't helping as it often makes it waaaay too black and white, often portraying people who get backlash as heroes or as deserving it. No one deserves to be harassed or threatened, no matter how shitty they are, but also no one deserves a free pass to be shitty.

[@berilsevvalbekret772]

Honestly the only thing she needed to do was saying 'I wasn't anywhere near around the blast radius didn't see anything' in big cities like Paris it is very plausable. This happened to me in Istanbul 2016. A suicide bomber gone off in İstiklal Square while I was in Beşiktaş. Literally learned what happened an hour later. It happens.

[@cristela4034]

She posted a fake photo posing on the spot that was bombarded minutes later, so she couldn't say she was no way near it.

[@despicablepenguin]

@@cristela4034 unless she said she took it today in the caption, she could've just said she took it yesterday and that she was nowhere near the blast. Although the fact that she idealizes trauma tells me she more like took the opportunity instead of it being an accident that she was in this situation

[@dami5154]

i liked that in the end even tho she loses she never really loses that much sure she gets fired and loses her “friends” but she gets to move back with her rich parents, sure she’ll have to switch careers dye her hair and maybe even change her name to work again - but she’s not any worse off then the homeless black woman highlighted at the beginning and I think that showcases her privilege very well

[@DeborahWalkerXOXO]

At 11:05 I have to pause because the level of incoming cringe anxiety is soo high! THIS is why I can't watch this film! I'm sorry if I can't make it through this video Amanda! I love you! (I need a break...)

[@moongirl8807]

Honestly this movie is already a masterpiece, it's the closest to a KZbin video we've gotten from bestdressed in over a year

[@avencree]

Pretty much everything you said were my thoughts on the film. An okay movie that handled it’s unlikeable protagonist in a way where you’re not suppose to like her, even by the end of it, but still makes her human and in some way’s relatable. I also have to give it to the Harper character but she at least was genuine in her dislike of Danni and didn’t fawn over her like her other coworkers did even though in earlier scenes they were opening dismissive of her because of how unlikeable she was. And that ending, again, you said everything I thought. The apology wouldn’t have been for Rowan’s sake, but for Danni. Her having it all written out just showed how performative it would have been, even though Danni truly believed herself to be sorry. That moment of clarity after Rowan’s poem, the realization someone else’s needs comes before her wants, that being a good person doesn’t have to come with forgiveness but with changed behavior; a perfect ending to a not so perfect, but okay, movie. An enjoyable movie and a fantastic review, happy Friday y’all!

[@Cayliente]

This!!

[@skvaderarts7009]

"Anne is actually like that in real life." I feel ill. At least we know why her "performance" was so unbearable.

[@neilvarma]

She’s a unlikable character. I like that. Also this is a great satire of performative wokeness

[@poisonedvices6962]

I was legitimately waiting for Amanda to cover this movie. Just really looking forward to her take on it.

[@yiotatort]

I dunno - for me Dear Evan Hansen feels real. He's not that self-aware. He's in a lot of ways less healthy than Danni is. But the desperation for finding what you feel like you've been missing is still there. People who are really depressed to the point of suicidal are often completely unaware of the feeling of others. He's able to speak to Connor's emotions because in a way he understands them. However unlike Danni, it's very possible that he'll never find a way to truly connect with people.

[@leopardwing9763]

Another thing I think was overlooked, was not only how messed up Danni is but how the Internet is messed up for glorifying her and her "trauma" too. Like she eats it all up, but they are out here having a supposed bombing survivor do goat yoga and promote whitening kits because she's blowing up and her face will get them attention. No one in the movie stops to think how fucked up that is. And don't get me started on the sex scene where Colin sexualises her "damage."

[@brisebastiano4974]

Ms. Jedi, you're a gem of an online persona👌 Your eye for cinema and culture is a true talent and you've never come off as anything less than genuine and authentic as a human being for the entirety of the time that I've been enjoying your content. You're wonderful, I wish only great things for you and your future, stay golden🙌

[@cthulhutheendless1587]

I found this movie really cheesy and unfunny, unfortunately, and (though I know it’s important to the themes/played for humor) I never liked the how Dani’s casual racism/ignorance was sort of dismissed by the other characters. But I have MAD respect for them ending the film the way they did, without any big performative friend-to-friend apology, after which all is well, which would have destroyed this movie

[@sseraphim2818]

Neither did I, it played right into that white feminism type of racism

[@racheldavis531]

I haven't seen the movie but I kind of developed a take on the lack of apology at the end lol. I was thinking that, unlike a lot of people, I wish she had apologized even if there wasn't the big moment of forgiveness and whatnot because she really still just left her (former) friend hanging. But Dani can't even say "I'm sorry, you don't have forgive me but I want you to know that I care about you and I didn't intend to hurt you. I was selfish and I know that" because then that's redemption in a way. That's growth and improvement. Instead she realized that she wanted to apologize for selfish reasons, but rather than crafting a less selfish apology, she realized that still wouldn't actually benefit her because there was no way she'd be forgiven. So she did the selfish and easy thing and didn't face her friend and didn't risk being told off and denied forgiveness. She walked away and told herself she was being a decent person for it.

[@tomdragamer]

@@racheldavis531 I think her realisation was that it wasn't the right time. She needed more time for growth and trying to corner her to get that apology done with wouldn't have been the best option. Sometimes you can't apologise to the people you've hurt because they'll either not want to hear you out and just want to move on, or because its too soon and hurts them too much trying to bring it up while the pain is still raw.

[@racheldavis531]

@@tomdragamer I think that's true if you're apologizing and expecting forgiveness or even some kind of appreciation that you were willing to apologize. But I think that's still kind of a selfish mindset. If it's already raw, apologizing isn't going to make it more raw. The way I look at it, If you're apologizing from a selfless place, you have to accept that they may shut you down or walk away. But from the perspective of the hurt person, if someone does something crappy to you and they don't even attempt to reach out and apologize, that would probably make you feel worse. You'd probably just think they don't care about you, not that they're choosing to give you space to be considerate of your feelings

[@tomdragamer]

@@racheldavis531 There are some true points, I think part of my response was "if its been a while, then you don't want to open up old wounds" but yeah I can also see your point. You don't want to assume what the other person is thinking or feeling. In the context of the movie though, she could see her ex friend was clearly hurt and in a very angry state about what she did, so she may have decided to give her some space to calm down a little, and who knows? Maybe she apologised later on but we don't get to see it. It really comes down to each individual experience on messing up and when the right time to apologise is which will vary, but sooner is generally better. Don't want to mess up badly and then not talk about it for a year.

[@marchingham]

I agree that this handled this topic pretty well! Can we all agree that Dylan O'Brien is an absolute delight and one of the most versatile young actors out there?? Love your videos!

[@katharineeavan9705]

I'm really happy for him that he got the movie career he wanted and deserves, but I'll forever be a little sad he didn't decide to stick to tv acting as he's so good with character and movies don't usually give much scope in that regard. Hard to get the same depth and development in 90-120 minutes constantly escalating dramatic tension as a full length tv show with multiple character centric episodes. But then, given that so many show runners and creators are now "making a ten hour movie", there's getting less opportunity for that kind of viewing experience anyway I guess

[@tawnyew]

I feel awful that you keep getting these stresses thrown your way. Love the content hope things get resolved quickly and you can rest in your own home 💗

[@sari9645]

I was super annoyed with the reviews on IMDb for this movie. The story and jokes seemed to fly over every reviewers head. I personally really liked “Not Okay”

[@heartrosecorwin3444]

When I watching this movie I actually thought, "I would love to see some KZbinrs I watch comment on this movie" and you were the top one I thought of, so thak you. Love you take in it and the spin of the comparison to Dear Evan Hanson. I always love watching other people's opinions to things I watch and (no surprise) yours has been the best one I found. Always love your take on things. Thanks for what you do

[@glitch84-]

8:30 i cannot believe the video from d'angelo i keep rewatching has helped me get this reference. Love the internet

[@jamiewhite1076]

Sorry your apartment is in shit state Amanda, you must be so stressed, we always appreciate you trying to keep things light and doing what you love doing ❤️

[@spanglelime]

My profound thought for the day: The internet seems like it has endless potential as a starting place for a film. We all use it. We know where you don't want to go. Many of us have or had social media at one point. We know about cyberbullying and what it can do to a person. We all know the classic internet apology and the horrific dogpiling we all hope will never happen to us. We all know this. But when a movie tries to present it as a serious subject to be examined, we all see it as shallow and frivolous bc what we are seeing is what we invest so much time. emotion, energy into and what it ultimately boils down to. Do documentaries about the internet and its various facets work? Fuck yes, bc it's interesting to find out the truth behind something we all take for granted. Movies don't seem to land bc they're trying to dramatize what we all do already, or explode tiny things into the biggest deal; we simply see ourselves and what we do online for what it truly is. There is no greater message other than, don't be a dick online. That's what it always seems to boil down to. I don't think I completely expressed myself the way I wanted to, but hopefully you get the jist. On another note, I gotta give major props to the costume department on this film. Danni was 100% dedicated to late '90s, early '00s and those were my junior/senior high years. I recognized a few of those choices as ones I had made myself back then. The rally, for instance. Totally wore that to school.

[@Robgea]

Hey, Love the video, but a quick note: At 11:53 that's not the Washington Memorial Arch in Washington Square Park, it's the Soldier's and Sailor's Arch in Grand Army Plaza in Brooklyn.

[@lisamortini8567]

I just posted the same! Sorry I'd not seen your comment yet.

[@wh0aheavy]

I'd never even heard of this movie, will probably never watch it. But how you broke down everything and explained it was very moving to me. Especially everything you said at the end. Thanks for that 💜

[@lisaleyendekker8305]

I wonder if you'd like the Netflix series Inventing Anna, which is somewhat similar to this film, but it's about a girl who scammed her way with the rich elites by pretending to be a German heiress and a female reporter is trying to get the story from her while she awaits trial in prison.

[@krow5099]

Aye the Next 365 DNI came out when you reviewing it 🤣🤣🤣

[@skylarjohnson7779]

I feel like the narrative just saying "she's a bitch, let's go" makes Danni more likable than Dear.

[@Yellow_80]

Just a reminder that 365 days part 3 is released so waiting for ur video on that 😁

[@JoltaeAndwae]

So happy you've reviewed this because I've been going back and forth with watching it and now it feels more worth it. Thanks you

[@ReDeadLauren]

I love that you included the Todd and Aaron bit lmao

[@gongtangjeu6673]

i agree mia isaac did such a great job playing rowan aldren in the movie !! im def looking forward to more of her upcoming projects 😄

[@MacMoney20]

Really liked this movie. Very fresh and different, and I love how up front it was with her being an unlikeable protagonist. Loved the ending, some things can’t be fixed. Glad they didn’t just end on a high note. Thanks, Amanda! Always look forward to your videos.

[@ghoopiart]

17:30 The window of Danni's new glass office look like the grid feed on instagram. While everyone watches the drama unfold on social media her co-workers watching her irl reflect this spectatorship