Not wanting kids, getting older, being the “fun one” abroad, feminism, w 🍷

[@phineosojca8070]

I feel like I’m talking with my worldly, experienced aunts and I dig that

[@damondominique]

I gladly accept this role 👑

[@StephJ0seph]

Same hahah I instantly subscribed

[@GNICHO]

She’s fire I wanna be her friend lol hmu girl @hy.pain.geas

[@aaronmoiche330]

For anyone wondering if bilinguals/polyglots switch to different languages mid sentence cuz we wanna seem cool and stuff, the answer is NO, it’s just that some languages have words and expressions that express what we’re feeling and trying to say in the moment better so we borrow those expressions and words for that moment then continue where we left off (please don’t hate us 😭)

[@bellefemme87]

As a fellow polyglot, I approve this message 😃

[@shannonclancy2759]

yes!!! I was just trying to explain this today

[@arodordie]

Periodt

[@hide904]

THANK YOU.

[@gerardosantana2872]

YES

[@mangostreetproject]

random but Charline’s hands/hand gestures are so elegant

[@charlinesha]

mangostreetproject oh ! Merci :) 🙏🏻

[@tigerareyouthere]

I was thinking the same, hand model!

[@lsjaowhwbkwhwksha5926]

trueeee

[@jessicakeelty2619]

so true. really reminds me of one of my favourite videos on youtube, Joanna Lumley reading poetry. So much emotion expressed with elegant hands. Look it up :) you shan't be disappointed.

[@Joseph-gm1gz]

Cute, too

[@selasievangeline]

She's 32!?!? Sis aged like that glass of wine. FINE!!

[@damondominique]

You didn't know? That's French skin care tip #1! Drink wine. Age like it. 🍷➡️👶

[@charlinesha]

Girl thank you 🖤

[@selasievangeline]

@@damondominique a good excuse to drink. I love to see it 💀

[@LaLabutterfly]

She’s gorgeous... Lol I’m 32 next year and look 23/24. I used to live a high stress lifestyle, I was 23 and would be assumed to be 35 lol. Now I’ve figured it out and I’m ageing in reverse 😂😂 Living a stress free life helps SO much! And my East African genes 😜

[@kinga3731]

@@LaLabutterfly Sis share some tips on a stress free life 🙏🏼 much needed rn 😂

[@paigieodo]

so much homophobia is rooted in misogyny and hating women. from the flip side, as an often masculine lesbian, my lack of femininity and attraction to men is what so many people find offensive, because so much of womanhood and how we perceive women is rooted in attraction to men. i experience a lot more verbal assault than my feminine girlfriend because when gay women are feminine, their attraction is still "sexy" or consumable by men. mine isn't, because it's not attractive to them, because i don't express myself femininely.

[@username-pb9ui]

Paige Lalonde i always thought of that!!! same goes to trans people

[@BlackXSunlight]

Preach sis!!

[@BlackXSunlight]

@@marstangitmek3203 I think the topic is a bit more interconnected and nuanced than that. And I think Paige's perspective as a more masculine-presenting lesbian carries just as much weight (and maybe more) than yours as a gay man on this subject specifically. Being a woman in a public space means being vulnerable, and being visibly queer in a public space means being vulnerable: being a butch woman is an overlap of both. Like I promise you when you hear a woman complain about men, she is not talking about gay men 90% of the time. I don't even blink when one of my girlfriends goes on about "men" because I know they're not even including me in that rant. And I think it takes a certain maturity and security to hear someone vent their frustrations and anxieties without needing a disclaimer that they're totally not talking about you. My point of view as a gay person.

[@BlackXSunlight]

@@marstangitmek3203 do you believe heterophobia is real?

[@matheusprado6035]

@@marstangitmek3203 then women should tip toe around the subject so men don't get offended? Oh yeah right! She's obviously not talking about every single man individually on earth, so instead you should just realize that most countries and cultures around the world are sexist e misogynist? If you're aware of things, there's no point for you to be like "OMG but I'm not like this. Don't generalize!", because that's just making the whole point of the conversation about yourself and your hurt ego.

[@tretren1468]

Aging is a privilege I FELT THAT

[@vliciouss]

It’s such a good perspective to have

[@kashriz95]

This boy needs to make his own weekly podcast

[@elohelhehe4502]

the video was highly appreciated. the pressure as a women to be “useful” by having children is so damaging

[@nellieevans1540]

Before pressuring or shaming women into poppin' babies. patriarchal society should take a look and see if men are father material. Heck even many women aren't mother material!

[@akuchmadut3832]

Damon has the most interesting friends, where are you finding these people who will drink wine and talk about random shit with you?

[@Just999Me]

Interesting people find and gravitate to other interesting people. Also when you become more in tune with yourself. You tend to have deep thoughts and tend to have deep conversations and it pulls that interesting out of you

[@ray9772]

Layla definitely gonna work on myself then, thank you !

[@lynnly2406]

He said they’re all people like us who like watching his videos and then they kept meeting and became friends

[@emikabrekker]

let's find out!! 🐶

[@LuggageLife]

No but fr tho lol. I had the same thought 😆

[@shutupcharli483]

Not to be dramatic but this is legit my fave series on youtube. It's the only thing nowadays that I'll actually watch instantly as soon as I get a notification for it

[@damondominique]

Thank you! I feel like the KZbin world needed some diff content that wasn't so poppy, or gimmicky. That didn't mean to sound shady - but y'all know what I mean...like something more...real and less "internet human."

[@rinnyj9547]

I just turned 30. I'm not dating and have no kids. I feel like I can take over the world.

[@damondominique]

AND YOU CAN! GO N GET EM!!! 🌍

[@Jenviper]

We love to hear it!!!

[@MirosXSorim]

Pls bring her back! She is so interesting

[@charlinesha]

Miros Davila oh ❤️❤️❤️

[@MV-xj4yq]

agree x180 +

[@jabea2556]

I agree. She was great, so wise and interesting.

[@gravyall0va]

Charline Hallebard we love you

[@shinigamilexi]

This is my fav series ever! Anyone else drink wine with them like me? lol

[@damondominique]

Thanks for watching boobie!

[@thecia4493]

Meeeee! *raises glass*

[@shinigamilexi]

@@thecia4493 *clinks your glass* cheers!

[@shinigamilexi]

@@damondominique thanks for this awesome content

[@inhle1688]

TheCrow i’m not legal but if I could I would.

[@dorachan68]

I feel so enlightened when Char said that if someone didn’t met the right person on time to have kids with, that person is simply just not here on this earth to have kids. I totally got mind blown there. I think it’s so right. My bf always says he wants two kids, and so I kinda got influenced by him. Maybe it’s because that deep down inside I think I should give him what he wants. But really I should think about what I want? Because having kids should be the woman’s choice, not others. Not their boyfriend’s, not their husband’s, but the woman’s choice.

[@fussel895]

YES!

[@maryhoang4354]

Everyone can want or not want to have kids. Whether you both are right for each other and seeks the same thing thats another story. Make yourself happy first before you wish to make someone else happy

[@delphzouzou4520]

Well, I disagree strongly on "having a kid is the woman's choice". If you want a kid, the guy has a word on this, he's not just a jet of sperm, otherwise don't complain if he leaves you alone and refuse to help you. The woman makes only half the kid...

[@darukona7218]

I disagree about the line " having kids should be the woman’s choice, not others", it should be BOTH choice. I think it's not one sided decision at all. If it's one persone choice, than he/she is the only one who may figure on the kid's paper as mother/father. Don't force the other to do so, independently being a man or a woman, this is a matter that should concern the couple.

[@Jenviper]

You got it!!!

[@almadelatierra5153]

“Only 7 years of fun? from 18 til 25, noo im having fun til im 100“ I totally agree mannn im just 15 but I cant wait to grow up and experience and do everything I cannn until forever mannn 🤘❤️❤️❤️

[@lynnly2406]

Yesss

[@Aizenjnn]

I had the kids conversation with my mom yesterday( we come from a middle eastern culture so you could imagine how family plays a big part in life)and it ended up with her being shocked and offended that her plan and expectations for her kids to be her ultimate life insurance was not how I'm gonna do things, I told her that having children for the sake of them achieving your vision and taking care of you is selfish and unfair for them , and that people with the same mindset should probably look into investing in other things that are not human beings, it's so crazy how society doesn't value life to the point people give up their dreams to have kids who then have to give up their dreams to take care of their parents and their own kids and the cycle continues...

[@charlinesha]

Aizen. jnn Can I get an AMEN!?

[@Aizenjnn]

@@charlinesha take all the AMENS 😂

[@damondominique]

I feeeeeeeeeeel this. Sooooo many parents want their kids to follow a certain path (be a doctor, lawyer, live in a certain country, etc.) because of "all they sacrificed" for them - and it's just a dangerous way to live your life, expecting your offspring to do what you want, because when they don't, you feel resentful that you spent your life dedicated to them, when you could have done what you actually wanted. It's not fair bc it makes you feel cheated, and it makes your children feel stifled. It just seems like the only "safe" way to avoid bitterness and tension that no one asked for is to "do you" first.

[@Aizenjnn]

@@damondominique exactly , it's like being committed to a contract you never agreed to or knew existed for that matter , and one day you're like HOLD UP THIS THIS IS ILLEGAL!

[@jamilaissa6628]

I mean.... Yes. I totally understamd where you're coming from. I have a Middle Eastern family myself. Society however is also very much shaped by the type of institutions we have. I mean that for example in Europe, with pensions insurances etc etc old people can more likely live on their own. Society encourages individual thinking. Research has shown that when social protection decreases by the state family network ties increase because you become more codependent and it becomes more communal. Not to say that it isn't difficult to move away from that pressure, but having lived for more than 12 years in both the middle east and Europe I can safely say both have its definite advantages. What you give up in dependence you gain in freedom but you also lose a lot of connection, safety, ans community. In the middle east, you feel suffocated by your family but you never feel alone. But yeah

[@miarosa8579]

WHO TOLD HIM NOT TO TALK ABT HIS EX ..*SMH* 😤😂

[@damondominique]

I'm trying to get him in a video but he doesn't like cameras haha

[@Cynthia-xg5gz]

Damon Dominique just blur his face lol

[@jmz1736]

@@damondominique do a podcast!

[@ShaylaFrahm]

We need him in a video!

[@carms8066]

omg thank you for talking about “being boring” while speaking a new language. I’m French and I moved to Colombia for my studies and I feel like it’s really hard to be myself when I speak spanish. I didn’t think it was an actual thing

[@amazinggirl123]

I see so many of my high school friends getting married, pregnant, having kids and im just like?? Ya’ll are 21/22, how much life have you really lived...?? (Some have never even left their hometown) but to each their own, it’s just not for me 😂

[@heddasusanne]

I love how genuine and philosophical this series is! I really feel like I can resonate with a lot of the topics being discussed, I've just lived one year abroad in two different universities in Europe and my mindset about dating, patriotism, and perspective about where I want to live in the future has completely changed from this experience. Idk it is really interesting

[@damondominique]

YOU'RE LEVELING UP! 🙂🙃It happened the same way for me.

[@carableu]

I didn’t even feel like I was an adult until I was 55... p.s. I am still having FUN!

[@XxHaylster98]

You go cara!

[@marteumar8429]

carableu you’re a such mood ❤️ hahaha

[@mcd4370]

I aspire to be like this queen right here :D

[@emmak4938]

I'm heading into my 20s and I realise I am now the age that I had been "waiting" to be because I spent 20 years being too young to do stuff or was the age where I needed to prepare (exams etc). Now I am like sh*t I should have lived a childhood more... Also best feminist quote "My coach said I ran like a girl and I said if he ran a little faster he could too" not that related to toxic masculinity but yeah.

[@damondominique]

What are the next topics should I discuss in the next Red Wine Talks? 🍷

[@tacos394]

Absolutely anything , I would listen to it....Politics, religion, sexuality , philosophy etc

[@Coachgal13]

I'm considering moving to France after I graduate because I just studied there this summer - Maybe what it's like to leave your life in America and moving to Europe

[@Aworoble]

how to be financially SMART , the not so good sides of solo travels !!!

[@Catherinee]

Make one in French!

[@selasievangeline]

Things you've learned (about life) from experience when growing up that no one talks about

[@npdarcy123]

I've been married for 35 years, have two sons in their thirties and I have a six year old granddaughter. I will be sixty-four in 5 days and I still think you are talking to me. You make so much sense for travellers. You have a Paris apartment and French bank account, so I would say that you are now semi-nomadic - you have a base but you aren't tied to a place.(maybe a new business idea - Air6mois - sorry AirBNB for the blatant ripoff). As a student I spent a university year in Nice (beautiful, not as expensive as you would think as I've been back there with my wife recently), and I hitch-hiked in Italy and explored Yugoslavia by train before the breakdown of Communism. As a young parent I took our sons to Spain (very common for the English), but also to Paris, Tunisia and the United States. Since both sons no longer live at home I have been able to travel in the last few years to Frankfurt, Rome, Barcelona, Nice (again) including Monte Carlo, and Seville - you should go there yourself, it's modern, multicultural and beautiful. On the subject of children, I would say that it is the job of a parent to provide an upbringing that results in independence, both for the children and the parents. In that way you can have fun in your youth, pass on your experience to another generation, then re-establish your own independence and continue to experience new things. Your life changes as your age changes, but you can still hold onto your ideals, although you may experience from a different perspective (too serious)! Just as an aside, the first trip that my wife and I made after our sons left home was to Ibiza with the express purpose of going to Privilege, one of the most famous nightclubs on the island. I was 55 and was so concerned/stressed about how others would look at us as we were 'old'. I needn't have worried, there were people clearly in their eighties, but we were all there for the same thing - the experience. Keep vlogging, keep introducing your friends, keep drinking the wine, I wish you success.

[@damondominique]

I love this ♥️

[@lea3826]

I am 20 and I constantly feel a pressure to get older, like: “you have to go to university” “don’t have a too long of a gap year” and I feel like I have to plan my future, even for the next year. Why can’t I just have fun! I need to return to this video, and Damon’s other videos to remind myself, that growing old doesn’t have to be: settling down, have a family bla bla... live your life to the fullest!

[@acflnnr]

I had a daughter last year, and bringing a human into this world is not something you should do if you feel ambivalent about it. People who pressure you to have kids are projecting their own stuff on you and that's not what it should be about. Especially for a woman, having a child will change your body, your relationship to your partner, your lifestyle, your mind, your emotions, everything. It's TOTALLY understandable that if you've spent years building a life that you love, you don't necessarily want to change it so drastically. Also, it takes a village to raise a child, especially in our hyper (dis) connected-social media world, so we need people who are not exhausted from raising their own kid to be around (if they want), like an auntie or uncle. There are so many ways to be a parental figure that doesn't involve having your own kids.

[@automnejoy5308]

I always find it strange when people with kids go on about how child free people have "nooo idea" how hard it is to have kids... and I'm always thinking, of course we know. That's why we don't have them! Great post. I agree 100%.

[@teona4279]

I've been thinking a lot about the idea of a timeline. So many people get caught up in a timeline and the 'right course' of action that they fail to truly take care of themselves. I love human history, I've traveled a bunch, moving abroad soon (thank all the good things in the world for that), talked to lots of people of all ages and backgrounds, Sociology and Anthropology were my majors and philosophy a minor in uni, so I've noticed these trends that leave me with the absolute certainty that the mindset of 'keeping up with the Joneses' is a big part of why the world is in the state it is today. If we look at the happiest countries in the "developed" world they're happy because systematic inequalities don't exist (or they're such a fraction of the experience that it's barely noticeable), however if we look at the "nondeveloped" world's happiest countries they're happy because they're truly carefree. They just don't give a fuck about the unnecessary bullshit of life. Money (in accumulation or excess), power, prestige, and all those things that don't matter or last after you die doesn't even touch their radar. Rather these are the people that focus on their relationships and the world around them: family, friends, community, passing strangers, the safety of everyone, and the health of the environment around them; and you see that when people don't have to care -- they don't. When people aren't forced into checking off boxes -- they won't, and they're happier for it. The idea that you have to get an education, that you have to do this or do that is honestly only ingrained in people who come from a side of world history where the _privileged class_ *denied the lower classes* of things that maybe they were interested in, and once it became something that they too could grab, it was no longer about 'I wanted this and was denied' but 'everyone has to do this because we were "all" denied for so long', and I think it's important to remember that aspect of our history as we interact with people and go through life. What our society tends to value and declare as important may simply be because of a point in history that truly _no longer_ has any ramifications or importance in this day and age, or for our own particular case. Just because rights were fought for and gained doesn't mean that any particular person _has_ to indulge, just that they *can*. No one _needs_ to get married, no one _needs_ to procreate, no one _needs_ to get a formal education, no one _needs_ to do anything, but they should however have the right to achieve whatever their life desires may be *without the judgment and criticism of people who are fine doing something else.*

[@londynn5548]

this!! thank you for articulating what i couldn't find the words for. i've been pondering on this quite a lot recently. also, if you don't mind me asking, what was your job-hunting experience like after graduating university? i'm currently a high school student and am interested in studying sociology so would love to know what it's like!

[@LS-lo8ks]

Yes!! You put it in words!!

[@abrown5526]

I've been thinking a lot about this lately. Well.. I've been thinking about it for years. I'm a 27 year old undergrad studying Integrative Biology (Human Health emphasis, Pre-Med) at UC Berkeley and graduation is fast approaching. I took time off, I've travelled, come back to school, and I still don't know what I want with my life. I say med school because that's the safe way to go, but I'm SO over school, but I have my younger siblings looking up to me, my parents (who didn't go to college) looking up to me/living vicariously through me... It's a lot of pressure: go to school, be a doctor, take care of the family. It's not what they explicitly say, but I feel the obligation to do so. All this to say, if I had it my way, I'd be living in Latin America teaching English, or just making a living and having a good time, enjoying my life. I'm torn. When I think about life, I wonder what is the point of it all if we're not living out our true dreams and following out hearts.. Why should we adhere to this timeline society forces upon us? Why should we feel guilty for "deviating" from the norm and forging our own paths?

[@bloops444]

londynn so I take A Level Sociology and we first learn sociological perspectives which are structuralist (Marxism,Feminism and etc) and interpretivist ( SI, Ethnomethodology and etv) theories which are also the macro and micro theories of sociology. Through those perspectives we analyse institutions in society such as family, education, religion and media. There’s also research methods and social identity, order and change. Currently I just finished my global development chapter which talks about migration, development theories and poverty. Hope this was informative 😅 if you have any questions I’d be happy to try and answer

[@londynn5548]

Aresya Farzana ahh sociology sounds so so interesting. thank you for responding! also, in your sociology a-levels do you know of potential career prospects for sociology majors? i’m very curious!

[@carolineharvey2534]

6:13 "the last drop that made the vase spill over" oh my I love French

[@danielearaujo6985]

It's nice that you included the clips from the "inside jokes" you have. As a Brazilian I'd have never guessed what you guys were referring to if it wasn't from them :)

[@charlinesha]

Daniele Araujo you need to watch BoJack Horseman! It’s sooo funny

[@lbd.diaries]

side note: charline looks like a french mona lisa! also, she just seems like a really cool person to be with and she has a lot of interesting things to say. i wanna be charline when i grow up

[@lizzyreid8050]

In the next one can you talk about what you classify as a healthy relationship (with friends or partners or anyone really) and how you’ve learned to fully embrace yourself

[@elohelhehe4502]

Elizabeth Reid YES

[@lovedemusica]

This is Important

[@thechristelle4]

Omg yes

[@eva94cr]

Yes please! hahaha

[@kremzupa_69]

Great idea!

[@charlinesha]

Who else is a BoJack Horseman fan out here?

[@elohelhehe4502]

Charline Sha ayyy

[@tanyagradyuk5471]

So happy I'm not the only one that uses Mr.peanutbutter hahaha

[@kimberlycarrillosolares2112]

I'm a simple girl, I see new Damon video, I click

[@damondominique]

That's the kind of subscriber I like to see!

[@ricmen24]

13:24 "I love to be around kids sometimes" I see you girl 😂

[@charlinesha]

Ricardo Mendes haha 😂

[@inhle1688]

Ricardo Mendes I felt that on a spiritual level😭

[@khadijafayyaz6184]

DAMON IS SO BILINGUAL, WE STAN HOW QUICKLY HE SHIFTS FROM ENGLISH TO FRENCH

[@BlackXSunlight]

They try so hard to scare women about aging as if there’s a ticking clock over your head. “Have kids by 29 or you never will!” Except adopting is always an option. And the percentage for your likelihood of a successful pregnancy carried to term is so minuscule. Don’t feel rushed into shifting your whole life around and get another human being involved.

[@nickpascalli955]

Damon is honestly the one KZbinr I feel like I could meet and have an HONEST conversation with

[@JuliaSzarota]

Im literally 17 and I already feel judged for not planning to have kids/get married etc. I'm so glad ye mentioned about the whole not wanting to know where you'll be in 3 years bc that's exactly how I feel but there is so much pressure to have a fool-proof 10 year plan. Love ye!

[@fatiam444]

“I’m having fun till I’m 100” BIG MOOD

[@mariangelacafagna6378]

After a horrible day ( Italian + living in the UK + Boris Johnson) this video is something that will definitely cheer me up :) xxx Edit: I am 31 and I know for sure that I don't want kids (even my partner agrees lol)

[@jewels5340]

I feel you. It's been a shit day for a lot of people yesterday, sadly.

[@aislingfoley8362]

I relate so much to what Charline said about how you seem ‘boring’ when you are first trying to learn a language. I moved to the Netherlands a few months ago and have started to learn Dutch but I’m really hesitant/embarrassed to practice it with my Dutch friends because of how basic my knowledge is despite knowing that the only way to improve is through practice. I think it’s partly because I still can’t get over how good everyone’s English is and I feel less cultured by not knowing a second language as well as they do (a few have said to me oh don’t compare our level of English to your level of Dutch compare it to our third language, somehow that just makes it worse!)Guess I’m just going to have to do some hardcore learning in the coming months.

[@charlinesha]

Aisling Foley yes ! I mean a few years ago I couldn’t have made a video like this talking in English ! You need to go ahead and try and at one point you’ll be able to be yourself in Dutch. It takes time but eventually it feels so good :)

[@matheusprado6035]

Just don't let that anxiety get you girl :D Not knowing a second language being an English speaker is quite understandable. I'm brazilian and having a conversation in english is still out of my comfort zone but I just do it anyways. Since you're already in a country that everyone speaks English may start trying to include some words and sentences in dutch while your talking, it might help yourself getting more comfortable and people intrigued by it. Bisous

[@sundusahmed3807]

Yes this is so true, I'm learning French and I don't like speaking as really shy and the people around me are so fluent but you jsut have to practice and you will familiarize yourself with the language and be faster.

[@patriciaharralson4044]

As a woman in her sixties, having grown up in Europe and the US, your conversation was a refreshing reminder of the same conversations we had in 1973, back when most of my friends thought it was uncool to have kids . If we had had KZbin back then the post might have been exactly the same. Whether you have kids or not, you will have challenges in life and I agree with Damon having kids guarantees nothing for when you are old. Aging is great with the right attitude, as long as your health remains good. Fun to listen in. Thanks

[@maryamsartspace]

I do think that wanting kids just so one can feel less lonely in their old age is so selfish. Not wanting kids for whatever reason is valid to me. Have them when you're damn sure that's what you want. There are too many people on this earth already, so in my opinion people who don't want kids are doing us all a service. Also, the people not wanting to text you back because they don't want to thing is so valid. I just texted my ex during his finals and asked if he was "too busy" to talk. He said he is and that we should talk later. Yes, my ego took a hit, but if he doesn't want to text me back because he genuinely doesn't want to then that's fine too.

[@damondominique]

I love how emotionally-mature y’all are. ♥️

[@maryamsartspace]

Damon Dominique We’re learning from the best 😌❤️

[@clumsyvanity]

I totally agree with you about the kids thing. I'm 28, a student midwife & i get asked A LOT that i must want kids in the future (mainly because of the nature of career I'm going in to). When i say that I don't know if i want kids in the future, you would think i personally offended their mother or something. It's gasps, clutching of pearls & awkward silences.

[@angharadweeks9242]

Every time I watch these videos, I want to move to France and write 9 books lol, but fr thanks for always inspiring to travel and live life now!

[@Issa727]

I'm 27 and currently have no desire to have kids, I can very much relate. I hadn't thought before why society limits us to having fun until the age of 30 when we have our whole lives, that was a refreshing perspective. I've been feeling like there's something wrong with me for not wanting that typical house, husband and kids, loved this video

[@thomazmp]

i feel like i was in the room being part of the talk and it really was a lovely night

[@elamortodolopuede.234]

I feel like I’m getting life advice from a cool aunt and uncle 😭 love y’all thanks for sharing ur wisdom

[@darladear27]

For me, I think I worry that by not having kids, I won’t be able to find a valuable meaning to my life. Will it be all about career? Do I even want it to be all about career? Is career my only alternative to kids? What If my career is mediocre and I have no kids, will i feel empty? I worry that I’ll wake up one day when I’m 52 and realize I regret keeping my life entirely for myself. But idk because the thought of kids right now at 29 is SO far from what I want in my day to day life.

[@damondominique]

But it wasn’t entirely for yourself! It was about your growth and skills, your relationships with friends, the places you traveled, everyone else’s lives you touched, etc. But yes, I totally see what you mean!!!

[@rebeccasylvernale8531]

I come from a small hometown where a decent amount of people get married and have kids out of high school, and the vast majority are in long term relationships and settling down after a bachelor's degree. Now that I've decided to pursue a master's, and haven't really had a serious relationship for a long time, I'll sometimes feel like I'm so behind my high school peers even though I'm long out of that environment and pursuing things that are really important to me, so I really appreciate this video because it reminded me that I don't have to what what's the norm or what other people want, and that I don't even have to know or try to figure out exactly what my entire future will be just yet. I think it's so important so see people like you guys living life fully and happily, while still dating around and not "settling down," because it's a reminder that your life is truly your own.

[@Felu-uv3jq]

I agree so much with the 'being fun in another non-native language' part!! People dont know how freaking hards it is to be spontaneously funny in another language.

[@capedluna]

Charline spoke to me on the kids thing. It is nice to know she is in her 30s too. Like I recently turned 30 in October and it is strange. All media portrays your teens as rebels and 20s as you experimental ages. Then 30s hit and so on and you must have kids and be married,no fun. I like a lot of geeky things and like the idea of travelling. I'd love to share the experience of travelling out the states. My mom mentions the lonely thing as well as children. Maybe I will have some IF I meet the right person but the world is so cruel and honestly I can barely care for myself with my income. I can't imagine having a kid. Also it is ok to be single and it is ok to be in a relationship. But single ppl deal with so much shit this video was what I needed to hear. This whole video was great!Sorry for rambling all over.

[@maseruconnor8670]

came across this video after watching your wine talk with Ashley (bestDressed). watching this showed me exactly where I want to be in 5/10 years. I've just turned 20 and I'm already getting pressure from my family about eventually having kids (despite never wanting one or seeing that for my future). all my friends say how they are sure they want kids and have even picked names for their hypothetical children. it's so comforting to see that there are other people that don't have children and family as the center focus of their future.

[@ascott2168]

Omg I used to feel that pressure too. Graduate by 21 with a 6 figure job, get married at 25, have a house by 27, have kids by 30.....🤯🤯🤯 !! Do things at your own pace ! Live your own life and do what please you 😊

[@anninieminen9420]

the not wanting kids part. my thoughts exactly

[@douloureux.]

When i was 19/20 i went abroad and spent 5 months in Sweden. We were with a bunch of exchange students and 2 Americans. one of them said to me ‘being with you all here makes me feel normal. My friends and people around me are all having kids and getting married and i always felt like i was behind in life. None of you have kids or are married and some of you are older than me. I finally feel normal’ and that made me so sad.

[@alisha_mukhtar]

The amount of comfort I get from watching Damon videos and knowing that I am not alone who thinks like that or weird or "I would change as I would grow old" is crazyyyyyy

[@StephanieOneLife]

I really like this. I’ve been thinking about getting older..... at 22. I know it’s crazy but there’s a weird pressure

[@jocelynharris5891]

Stephanie Germain I’m 22 too and feel so old idk 😂 maybe it’s from not having a degree. The pressure feels so real

[@douloureux.]

I’m 26 and i feel it too, hardcore. I feel old and i felt old when i was 22 too. It makes me lose happiness and that’s so sad

[@charlinesha]

@Damon I feel that your edit makes it look like I’m drinking so much all the time 😅 Or Maybe I just was?

[@ondrejvanek8329]

Obvs! You're French. Hahah ♥ Vous avez l'air super sympa tout les deux, j'aurais adoré prendre un verre avec vous un jour ! Gros bisous de Prague :)

[@damondominique]

THAT BOTTLE DIDN'T DRINK ITSELF CHAR

[@staciminott]

i'm 28 and i feel the same way as Charline. Change my mind like every few months (especially cuz i'm from small island Jamaica where you're just supposed to breed) but I feel like I'll know when the time is right to have one. My mom all her life didn't want them, and started having us relatively late for her generation and she said the same ting. One day it'll click or it won't and that's okay cause EXACTLY what Charline said, you'll create something in a different way.

[@charlinesha]

staciminott yesssssssss! We, as women, have been told our bodies are made only to create babies, when in fact we have so many other options! 🖤

[@staciminott]

@@charlinesha seriously!!! i feel so blessed to have my mom cause she trulyyyy advocates for the live your life fully and if a child is meant to be in that picture it will! (and she has 3 daughters so bless her soul)

[@charlinesha]

staciminott yes my mum is actually the same! She gave me that strength! Never pressured me to have kids ! Results = I live my best life and I am f*** happy!

[@amberlache92]

I loved this so much. I personally have never wanted kids. When I was 15 I realized it was a choice and not ever woman wants to be a mother. you are at this point no longer living for yourself but for someone else. it's kind of like a taboo and people will try to convince you otherwise or think your weird . Now I'm 27 and still feel the same way, is get a dog first. They can't say mama 500 times a day 🤣

[@francescacojuangco806]

Damon's channel is literally so unique and interesting. I'm here for all of it.

[@aarongallagher5249]

this video feels like a refreshing conversation

[@edek_k2821]

8:38 Charline not using the "h" letter in the beginning is so damn cute.

[@charlinesha]

Edek_k2 damn it’s my struggle 😅

[@HoppingFireflies11]

The thing about wanting kids is a mind twister. I've been thinking about how wanting kids vs not wanting kids, both decisions are always going to be called selfish, because no matter what the reasons are, it always ties back to what YOU want. Whether it's to make yourself happy or your family happy, because YOU want to make something a certain way.

[@beril9539]

this is literally my fav youtube series ever

[@Aulis431]

Damn, it's so refreshing to hear two well-balanced, confident and compassionate people have a drôle yet intellectuel conversation on KZbin, in a non sensationalist way. I almost forgot they exist.

[@xEckored]

i've been paralyzed these past few days because i didn't know how to schedule my next year. but i live in the centre of paris, i have a job i love, i'm 19, able, healthy, happy and single. what the fuck am i rushing towards???? thank u guys immensely

[@andybellamy899]

I discovered your channel through your video offering tips on how to find an apartment in Paris. It made me become a subscriber and I hope to live in Paris someday. I appreciated hearing your viewpoints about different topics in this video. The importance of conversation can be underrated sometimes. Congrats to you and Char!

[@YaraMelAround]

''7 years of fun, out of 100?- NO'' Yassss

[@misstee50]

ah love these sm Damon has a quality about him that makes all of his conversations so inviting and inclusive even though we’re not there

[@oldsof69]

So I'm 20, though I'm still not over being 18+ and being responsible for my life and stuff, I'm sooooo excited to grow older and see what I'll look like and see what person I'll be and who I'll meet and where I'll end up. Lately, I've realized that there are so many older women that are so intelligent, that I look up to, and they're beautiful and smart and strong and ugh I can't

[@janepang97]

Dear Damon, I’m Jane 22 from Malaysia but my race is Chinese. Basically I’m married to a Russian/Hungarian husband 21. Both of us are really happy together, however I didn’t tell my marriage to my parents bc they are Asian and they will freak out about anything. As me and my husband András are planning to move to Germany, my family and cousins are not supportive at all. It puts me off on how negative they are being and they are not even considering about how I feel and I plan to follow my heart and dreams. I got inspired by you and jo to always go for what you want, and to have fun. I’m also learning Russian by myself at the moment and I found out that I love learning languages. Anyway just want to let u know that you’re amazing n please keeping doing what you’re doing !!! Kind regards, Jane Pang

[@gabspatate]

I really recommend the book from Olivia gazale - le mythe de la virilité if you're interested in those topics. Also I think it would be awesome to hear you Damon in the podcast The Boys Club from Madmoizelle, it's a feminist podcast (in french) interviewing men about their relationship with masculinity... Also im loving this new channel Damon, your content is really good!!! #makevideosnotkids

[@denissabonea8699]

Loved this video so much! I felt like I finally relate to others on the idea of maybe not wanting kids and how others always expect you to find someone and get married and have kids cause thats all that life is about. There much more to life than just settling down, having a 9-5 job, and having kids.

[@damondominique]

It's just not a side of the topic you hear often, which is why I wanted to talk about it!!!

[@denissabonea8699]

@@damondominique I'm glad you decided to film and post it! I've really enjoyed your RedWineTalks videos.

[@priscilapaez3304]

can't wait for the Charline Feminism documentary!

[@feathersmcgrawlaysdownthelaw]

regarding the femininity discussion: i totally agree - most singers, bands, films etc that young women/teen girls like are always seen as “trashy” or “inferior” but most of it is completely harmless

[@mariaurbina9452]

I would die for these red wine talks ❣️

[@nadiam926]

I was in a conversation with friends today and they were not convinced that I don't want to have children. I am 31 and I am still figuring my life out, I can't add a child to the mix. Maybe one day, Ill get a pet, but I don't want to have a child because it's what you do. Who knows, that desire might hit me, but there are so many things that I desire, but I know aren't quite right for me. Anyway, an excellent episode as usual. Thanks :)

[@zareennaqvi4610]

Charline is adorable! Thank you so much for inviting her- enjoyed this video so much

[@MaevaBM]

oh! I feel you so much on the "how to show your personnality in a different language": I'm a french, living in Poland for a year. I'm in the learning process but polish is a difficult language and even with my boyfriend (polish) we speak in english, so in the end I don't even have occasion anymore to speak my own language (I do, alone in the bathroom or 1 week every 4 month when I come back to France) and it's soooo fucking frustrating! I feel that I haven't been FULLY me for so long now, and that even my boyfriend will never totaly get me in the end because of this mother tongue issue... It drives me mad sometimes. I feel washed out of my personnality.

[@betterwithzandii]

MaevaBM You should try meet French speaking people (maybe join the French expats living in Poland on Facebook) . I live in Poland and I’ve met a few French people randomly (I’m not French). Although the tricky part is figuring out if you’re going to click with the people you meet and want to pursue a friendship with them.

[@inhle1688]

In my homecountry( South Africa), I’m considered exotic. I’m made of all the same stuff of everyone else (not literally) but my people don’t think that I am. Probably cause South Africa is still segregated quite a little and I speak english as my home language so I got to a majority white private school, so the girls there always assume i’m mixed with something (cause I also speak mandarin, not fluently tho but enough to have a bit of an accent) . a lot of black people tell me I “speak white” also and I just don’t know where I belong.

[@alias6001]

Inhle, your experience is not unique. I was exactly the same as you, I am not fluent in any of South Africa's languages. I cannot express myself in Zulu and my Tswana/Sotho is really substandard. That's partly why I decided to move to New York after high school, thank God my parents can afford to support me. Even tho I am 100% South African. But hey its what it is, I embrace this about myself. But I just had to get out of South Africa. You'll find your place even if it outside SA

[@gjaguaribe]

This are my favorite kind of videos in your channel! It’s like a podcast but you don’t fell alone when you play it in your iPad next to yourself.

[@DoingGoodThanks]

I cannot get ENOUGH of these conversation

[@allanestandarte8974]

I'm a Southeast-Asian dude studying in Europe, trying to learn French (which is what brought me to your channel lol) and in my early 20s. I could say that I have a similar narrative as Damon being an ex-pat, trying to find myself in another culture, growing up, "getting older", pursuing my passions and a career! This conversation you and Charline is def something that hits home really hard! I am really fascinated by how the content you're sending out there has developed to something really relevant and genuine and relatable to young adults like myself! Just keep em coming!

[@lizzyreid8050]

Also, how long did it take you to become fluent in French?

[@reneetmp]

Loved this episode! You always discuss very thought-provoking topics. And dayummmm, people get really involved and offended when someone doesn't want kids. Fully agree with analyzing the reasons why you want to have kids before making a decision. I saw this meme that mocked the fact that these "righteous" people love kids so much, but don't aid pregnant teenagers, foster kids, or donate to charities that do so.

[@Rheannon_Rheannon]

I know this is an old video, but I cannot tell you how much I relate to this video. Like I’ve just never wanted kids or to live in one place for the rest of my life, so it is so refreshing to see you guys feel the same way because there is so much shaming and judgment in terms of settling down and having kids. So, thank you💛

[@thecia4493]

The fact that I was sipping red wine when I saw ur video today just got me super hyped!

[@mariannap4181]

when you are feeling down just chill with Damon and his gang!!!

[@gravyall0va]

These red wine talks have been the literal food to my soul. I feel it warming me to my core and filling me up with so much substance. These wine talks mean so much to me and I am filled with gratitude to be able to receive and learn from you and your dearest friends.

[@TheYuppersTv]

favourite channel atm, so fun and relatable and informative

[@amyalex2916]

Gosh, I just recently discovered this series and im obsessed! This episode really spoke to me. I've always felt like i didn't belong where i live, (literally have 2 friends here rip) and I only have really connected with people on my travels. Im a bit of a nomad, so being home during this covid period I lost sight of what makes me feel alive, and got sucked into these societal pressures and ideas of success and time and money ugh. Thank you for reminding me that people like us are doing just fine, and it's all good to march to the beat of your own drum. I honestly feel so uplifted by this video, thank you!!!

[@RunTheAtlas]

I love hearing from your guests - it gives me a different perspective on our cultural norms. It’s one of the beauties of travel is meeting people who challenge your beliefs that you’ve been surrounded with your whole life

[@paogrumo9898]

everything you talked about, agreed upon, values you hold, and the beliefs you have is STRAIGHT UP the same as mine. I can't wait to see the world and meet people like you BOTH. bisous from The Philippines, much love to you Damon!

[@reginapolo3357]

People would say to me that I will miss having children in my old age, and an old Korean friend told me once "How can you miss something that you never had??"", That took a load of me.

[@kammeron]

this whole conversation speaks to my soul.

[@ashleywilliams6468]

Yay! I loved Charline! Please keep making more Red Wine Talks with her! This episode was so relevant to my life and how I feel on these topics. Its inspiring me to want to be more of a citizen of the world and live in a country that actually fits more closely to the culture and lifestyle I want to live. Thanks guys!

[@tinon3735]

Another video with Charline mais toute en français s'il vous plaît 😊

[@charlinesha]

Tino N. It would be fun ;)

[@Therealmykag]

By the end I was laughing SO HARD at every “Let’s Find Out!”

[@sarasahrasara]

These red wine talks are my bible, best life philosophies in here