4 Principles to Cope with Life’s Disappointments | Dr. Rami Nader

[@rachelseibert7882]

Thank you for saying it’s ok to have the feeling of disappointment, and then to gauge its impact, very helpful.

[@DrRamiNader]

Hi Rachel, glad you found the video helpful.

[@Justshorts3249]

I have major depression and anxiety iv been in my house 4years I don't come out I cry everyday ..this stuff is crippling I just found your channel I'm going to watch them all I need something to help me. ..my meds aren't.

[@DrRamiNader]

Hi Liz - sorry to hear you are going through a difficult time. I hope you can find some helpful information in some of the videos I've posted.

[@ladyj5682]

Praying for you. I have discovered TMS therapy and genetic testing to help guide me on my depression journey. Dr. Nader’s videos on depression are freeing and encouraging as well. No counselor has helped me more than his videos and that is hard to accept at times bc it has been over ten I’ve tried throughout the years or more. I am also going through a study called “ Strength for the Journey” by Dr. James Poroswki and Dr. John Carlisle. They actually had experience treating and one went through depression as well. I am not a doctor but I have been on the end of treatment not working and only time I really got help I was referred to Vanderbilts partial hospitalization program in Nashville. I had to stay in hotel but I got on a better med. found out about TMS therapy, and the social workers gave excellent support and ran a top notch program. Hope this can help support you after consulting with your doctor and treatment team.

[@fordfalcon85]

Thank you Dr. Rami. Perfect timing. After establishing a mutual emotional connection with my crush 4 months ago and really connecting with her, she's now quietly pulling away and the heartbreak and disappointment is devastating to me. I’m trying so hard to forget her and move forward (despite having to see her every day at work).

[@DrRamiNader]

Hi Chris - sorry to hear you are going thru a difficult time. Take care and I wish you the best.

[@glamdawling]

I am experiencing a visceral, strong reaction to disappointment today. I found out that the person I’ve been interested in and that I put myself out there for is dating someone else. I’ve been spiraling ever since, not eating, not sleeping, and fighting urges to harm myself. This has happened multiple times in the past several years but this time I’m at my worst and I’ve run out of hope. Thank you for this video, Dr. Rami.

[@DrRamiNader]

Hi Attie - sorry to hear about your situation. I hope that this video can give you some hope for things in the future. Sending you good wishes!

[@gracekennelly8534]

Thanks again Dr Rami!!

[@HBLocal85]

Hi Attie, It's been 11 month since your last post. I hope you are doing better. I'm just going through the same thing as you. I'm so exhausted! I usually run to deal with my depression and sadness but today I do not feel like running. The joker I was dating was played me and I'm uber disappointed. He surely knows how to disappoint.

[@Godlywoman88]

😘​@@HBLocal85

[@angelahall4332]

Dr. Rami,I stumbled onto your videos a few months ago and feel that I have learned more about how to cope with depression than years of therapy ! You are a blessing, sir!

[@DrRamiNader]

Hi Angela - thank you so much for your kind words. I'm glad you have been finding the videos helpful!

[@ladyj5682]

This is e act,y hoe I have been feeling. I can tell how much he takes his job seriously. I have been in and out of counseling for twenty years and never seeming like it helped. I only gained a few suggestions on books or Vanderbilts wonderful partial outpatient program but never a counselor that I’ve found worth continuing to see. I am using Dr. Nader’s videos daily to help me through bc it hits me at the core

[@jayde7412]

Hi, Dr. Nader Thanks for sharing your story and I hope you have a speedy recovery.

[@DrRamiNader]

Hi Jayde - thank you for your kind words and well-wishes!

[@kaylinklimple2167]

Thank you for the compassionate ways you can handle dissapointment. A lesson or insight to be gained for sure from life's real experiences.

[@pippipster6767]

And there’s the version of disappointment ‘inflicted’ upon a person. Like the promise of something good that never materialises. This is ‘created disappointment.’ And becomes additionally annoying for that reason. But also, as you touch upon, sometimes something bad happening can turn out to be good and equally, something apparently good, can turn out to be bad. All nice and complicated.

[@connornimrod1972]

Thank you, Rami Nader, for your insights. This video could not have come at a better time. I’m going through somewhat of a crisis right now, and your advice really helps.

[@DrRamiNader]

You're welcome. Glad you found it helpful.

[@Scooby-king]

Thank you for this! It calmed me down from a panic attack and rethink my situation. I am going to reevaluate the situation and see what I could have done differently and see what resources I have. Thanks again

[@DrRamiNader]

Glad you found the video helpful!

[@ladyj5682]

This is me. So glad it’s so much more than taking lemons and making lemonades bc my lemonade was still tasting nasty. Thank you for this.... it’s helping me get through a rough time for me right now. Glad God lead me to your channel.

[@DrRamiNader]

I'm glad you're here too. Thanks for supporting the channel.

[@aliusa5190]

thank you Dr.Rami .as always great content.I can feel your sadness. I love running too and had injured myself many times, unfortunately, it is part of the game .you work out you get injured,there is no way around it ,i wish you all the best .thank you

[@DrRamiNader]

Thanks Ali - much appreciated.

[@jairoosorio_bienesraices]

I loved the video. Thanks. Great advice

[@DrRamiNader]

Glad you found it helpful! Thanks for supporting the channel!

[@siobhanboyle8105]

This video was helpful. I like how you post the words up on the screen and summarize at the end. Putting the disappointment into perspective is very good advice. Thanks!

[@DrRamiNader]

So glad you found it helpful.

[@cj5056]

Thank you for sharing your journey. Hope your foot heals quickly. I do believe perspective plus time provide me insight a new perspective when I’m disappointed.

[@DrRamiNader]

Hi CJ - thank you for the well wishes. The foot is feeling better, but it's just going to take some time to fully heal.

[@JoeJoe-vm9si]

I really like this way of thinking in that it's not denial or avoidance. We go into and through difficulties not around them. Not denying that we are wounded, and at the same time not wallowing, but moving forward. Holistic. Thanks.

[@DrRamiNader]

Hi Joe - glad you found it helpful. Realistic thinking is the key - avoidance and denial gets a person nowhere positive.

[@mariyahassan1910]

This helped me a lot thank you ❤️

[@DrRamiNader]

You're very welcome! I'm glad it was helpful!

[@saborokichannel4946]

I have just found you Dr rami in the chaos we call KZbin and not sure if this means anything but I want to say Thank you and please keep sharing x

[@alicia10387]

Oh does the emotion fit the facts! I’m glad I noticed that skill but what about when you’re in the feeling before you can think about how much sense it makes? Maybe that’s when emotional regulation and mindfulness comes in to help you get to the thinking.

[@alexhutton4848]

Sorry to hear about your foot Dr Rami . It's should be back to good soon .

[@DrRamiNader]

Hi Alex - thank you for your kind words and well-wishes. The foot is getting better slowly :)

[@1Chris1984]

I appreciate your channel it's hard sometimes when you hold in so much and got so much stuff to do, and I'm just having a hard time accomplishing things in my life and have slot of pressure on me my back against the wall so to speak to succeed. I worked on SSI and effed up and didn't report it and then suddenly my whole life fell apart..I lost my apartment I lost my job and having some issues with my family and gf. It's like I'm trying so hard like I lived literally so dependant on my family and then one day just have to learn to do everything on my own. It's like in a way I'm glad I was sheltered and all but I can see why parents push there kids to do things. Thanks for the advice just hearing that it's okay to not be perfect and I'm not a loser for not being able to do everything the way I need to hard being homeless then having people up your ass that you never do enough. is nice to hear positivity. Thank you.

[@supersmart671]

Appreciate if you could share how to handle disappointment regarding job loss?

[@DrRamiNader]

I'll add that to my list of future videos.

[@sacredweeds]

I’ve been dealing with constant low grade anger that spiked frequently for years. It was an epiphany when I realized that much of this anger was suppressed sadness and disappointment. So now I’m watching your video What I learned from you: 1) Validate 2) Balance 3) Debrief 4) Opportunities It’s what I did once I realized my anger was masking disappointment. It’s nice to have it put as well as you have here. Thank you!!!

[@DrRamiNader]

Thank you for your comment and for sharing your experiences. I'm glad you found the video helpful.

[@neginpedersen1506]

Great video, thanks for sharing!

[@DrRamiNader]

Thanks for your encouraging words, as always, Negin!

[@JoeJoe-vm9si]

Good for you, cycling is a key alternative for injured runners. To the topic, it seems to me that self-inflicted disappointments are much more difficult to deal with than the accidental or unintentional vicissitudes of life, as they can reinforce negative self image and feelings of inadequacy. I find that when these feelings become oppressive simply doing some kindness for others can help take the negative sting out of these feelings. I don't have a logical explanation for that it just seems to open a door.

[@DrRamiNader]

Hi Joe - I think you're absolutely right that self-inflicted disappointments can be more challenging to get over. But the key is for a person to treat themselves as they would treat others - most people would tend not to be so harsh and critical of others as they tend to be towards themselves.

[@josephrawlins]

“There is only one inborn error, and that is the notion that we exist in order to be happy... So long as we persist in this inborn error... the world seems to us full of contradictions. For at every step, in things great and small, we are bound to experience that the world and life are certainly not arranged for the purpose of maintaining a happy existence... hence the countenances of almost all elderly persons wear the expression of what is called disappointment.” --Arthur Schopenhauer

[@annavillalpando4872]

Oh wow, you were in my hometown Chicago a couple weeks ago? Cool!

[@DrRamiNader]

Hi Anna, I was indeed. Your city is amazing and the marathon was fantastic. I ran a 47 minute personal best (3:16) and a Boston Qualifying time!

[@annavillalpando4872]

@@DrRamiNader wow that’s amazing, congratulations!!! 🎉👏🏼

[@s9o9]

Thankyou Dr rami

[@DrRamiNader]

You're very welcome!

[@Dexter-o5n]

Dr. Rami, i think i might be a narcissistz and i overreact to stress and hurt people i care about and who care about me. I have realized how disproportante my reactions are, and its largely because I see meaning in things that are probably just banal or may even have to do with factors that have nothing to do with my relationships (some of my loved ones are addicts and i take their lies and behavior personally). As a narcissist, how can i become more stable for the people in my life? I want to be there for them, but im so self-focused on my own insecurities that i yave a hard time being there for them when they are having problems. I do feel empathy, but other times i get so triggered and offended, i dont reach an epathetic place until i feel safez and then i feel horrible for failing to love them consistantly. To be clearz my positive affect is ubconditonal, but my reaction to hehqvior isnt. Kind of like when you love your mate but maybe they cheated, and they feel terrible about themselves, but youre so hurt that you cant encorage them while youre so hurt and caring for your own pain. I just wish i could put them first but i dont and i feel terrible about it.

[@donnaanderson7954]

Life itself is the disappointment. At least I think so.

[@mylfygamer]

What if the disappointment is stuff like Giving upbon life lo g dreams, being loyal, only to have a knife jabbed in jor back? Or Becoming a parent and then bwing abandoned by my entire family, leaving me to figirw life out on my own? Or My husband not being proposed to, having a wedding? Or Going into menopause after being your spouse for years for another child? Or Begging for a vacation, with mybspouce KNOWING im burnt out, (it was dx) being told yes, then not going, year after year after year. How do I get over these disappointments?

[@tman5634]

Having been a victim of crime, it's disappointments of the police not doing their job to an acceptable & respected standard, infact quite the opposite. Then not just the police, but the law of injustice in my country. Basically dismissing such, brushing the crime & me being a victim under the carpet. An utter let down & disappointment, especially when the crime was very serious & the criminal wasn't investigated or challenged enough...& me, the victim having zero help in the matter & emotionally.

[@s9o9]

👍 nice

[@andreask.1734]

So your big disappointment is not to able to run a marathon because of a fracture?? How lucky you are! I wish I would have your troubles…life sucks in many areas especially by disappointment by relatives and friends, losing my job , losing health and afraid of future !

[@DrRamiNader]

Like I explained in the video, people should never compare their disappointments with others, because there will always be someone out there with bigger problems or a worse life. Nor should they judge someone for not being "deserving" of disappointment. This isn't about the objective intensity of the disappointment, but more about ways of coping with life's disappointments, both large and small.

[@timehealthfit1891]

I appreciate you, wannt be youtube friends?

[@DrRamiNader]

Sure 👍