NUSWhispers: I’m In Love With My Guy Best Friend But He Friendzoned Me | ZULA Answers | EP 3

[@ZULAsg]

Shoot your shot, down in the friendzone? Share with us your friendzone stories below down in the comments!

[@fionlim01]

I like Brenda and Bolin’s chemistry. Very natural and I like their comments and advice. Bolin is awesome. This is a good series. Keep up the good work guys!

[@crehmenti]

ship ship... hahahaha

[@fever7869]

I thought he’s trained . Very fair views and balanced

[@ebilfishy]

I think ZULA has found perm hosts for ZULA Answers. Really like the topics and their thoughts! Keep it up!

[@sohsaraaa]

Love that bolin and brenda are so real w us

[@audeamus7388]

When Bolin speaks so gently, he actually doesn't seem so insane xD

[@vihoang6535]

I experienced the same story with the girl in the 1st confession 😂 We had been so close with each other, met each other’s family, but in the end he rejected my confession lol. One year later he went study abroad, and came back to me coming out with his boyfriend =)))

[@zzsiyingzz]

I like Bolin's intense and instant reactions when he detects a guy's BS. 🤣

[@ohitsdarren]

I like how the video's 21 minutes long but it's not boring at all. Keep it up Zula!

[@agsh5]

seems like only brenda can bring out this more mature, calm side of bolin

[@YuiTan]

I feel like Bolin will make a great boyfriend leh hahaha his responses all quite mature leh. #BOLINDA

[@krypteiawxb]

the real secret.. never ever ever chase. Experience and live your life to the fullest like.. literally living in every present moment. The universe offers far beyond this realm of just 'wanting/getting' that person. Still can't get over with it? It is what it is. Move forward and live.

[@officialariffin]

Thank you for making dis ep, i found comfort with the advices yall gave!

[@officialariffin]

Also-I’d say in this type of conversation, yall got Bolin as a great representation for the boys side and his advice oso valid la so thumbs up 👍🏻

[@ani-travel]

“WHY?” “Oh wait that was aggressive.” “Why~?” 😂😂😂

[@jiaxin1021]

Really agree with Bolin’s points! Enjoying this Brenda + Bolin combo!

[@bubbrick]

just a suggestion! can y’all open up your own form or something for people to submit :’) i would love to submit something but i’m not comfortable with posting on nuswhispers….

[@ZULAsg]

definitely something we can consider!! thanks for the suggestion (: - Leah

[@bubbrick]

I’m legit honoured that Leah has replied to my comment. My life is complete 😌

[@jazype]

this series of Zula Answers MUST stay forever and ever!! love it sm

[@kousclouds]

Bolin is killing it with the tips man 😭 I love how his answers are always so mature and sensitive yet funny, and omfg Brenda in this episode made me cry of laughter pls 😭😭💓 Please continue putting them in segments like this!!

[@blubeedoobee]

helps im so addicted to this series 🥵🥵 can’t wait for the next ep!!

[@melvinvelia8827]

Don't guess, don't assume, just be an adult and ask, getting any direct answer is better than a guessing game and take their answers word for word, don't think if there is any hidden meaning. Getting into a relationship requires more than just affection and feelings between 2 people, communication and understanding have to be there as well. Keeping options while single isn't entirely a bad thing, the person may just be looking to see who may suit him/her more, better than getting all serious and finding out it doesn't work. If one decided to keep options while attached, advice for them is to end the current relationship so they can sort themselves out.

[@elvinawong]

insightful! so glad zula answers series were made

[@joieseow3433]

Brenda's answers soooo real and relatable! Love her as a host!!! 🥰🥰🥰

[@PrincessSakuno]

Damn I love the advice, keep this series going with Brenda and Bolin please!

[@lingmon6622]

I think it would be good to address same sex LGBT relationship issues as well. But I was pleasantly surprised with this series

[@burpdigest]

Bolin!!!!!!! damn mature leh!

[@shane1078]

Love this series really nice Brenda and bolin doing this video!

[@nkboon1234]

How to get out of friend zone - work on yourself, upgrade your social skills. Don’t put all your eggs in 1 basket. Eventually she’ll be attracted to you, or not, doesn’t matter. What’s more important is to have a bountiful attitude on life. Girls hate desperate guys and they can smell from a mile away.

[@nik.kinetikentertainment2298]

💯 Being focused on your own dreams and goals and is super attractive to women.

[@jfatsnorlax]

Eh later you put your eggs in different baskets, bolin call you a jibai leh

[@daniellim5077]

Woah love this series!

[@Lala_lalacllll]

This is a fun segment :)

[@lalalalaland84]

The guy being nice to you situation -- the girl is just a budget escort to him. He doesn't want a rship and doesn't like her but he just wants female company. Real escorts are expensive.

[@rdu239]

This is the reason why guys should never go all out to try to be too close of a best friend over a girl they want, because too much comfortable closeness with each other and the girl will eventually treat you as simply a close friend or a sibling kind of thing.

[@PokeTwilight]

I don’t think that’s the definition of “nice guy”(NG). While Brenda is right in that NGs have motive, NGs usually get mad and overreact because a girl wouldn’t want to have sex with him just because he treats her well(which is their main motive). I’m not saying that what the guy in the 2nd story did is justified, I’m just saying he doesn’t really fall into NGs. NGs are more akin to what Bolin said in the 3rd story how much you give is not equivalent to how much you’ll receive. Just my 2 cents. Also, genuine question, isn’t keeping options open normal? Girls tends to do it all the time. Guys have been told not to be obsessed with one girl so that if it doesn’t work out, you can still move on with your life. But of course, if a guy treats a girl well yet talks about other girls then he definitely gives off a, to quote Bolin, Cibai vibe.

[@drkrpr155]

Wow that’s a pretty good point

[@lzh4950]

"... isn’t keeping options open normal?" Think it depends on what you do for others too. It'll be more normal & acceptable I think id you don't go out all the way as much e.g. offering to send her home

[@ber245]

tbh girl 1: if u confess to ur best friend again, if u guys are really close, u dont need to worry about friendship ending. if u are gg to really stop having feelings for him, u need to talk directly to him and tell him u are not uncomfortable and set boundaries. if he doesnt have feelings for u, then he shld treat u like other friends, ofc different closeness got difference ah, but before getting there, i think u shld tell him u need some time apart to think, set a time, and then do a raincheck after. personally i faced this situation before, but i took time to think and then told him and then now we are friends again. not as close as before, bc i also have become more introverted but otherwise we are still close and dont have feelings for each other. even though there are still some questionable things that i still dont understand about, it doesnt matter since we are good as bros :) for those guys that treat u really nicely, sometimes just think about where u place this guy on the closeness spectrum and then think about the things he does for u, if it is uncomfortable or people think or suspect, then set those boundaries and be direct with it. if they still keep being the same then just block and bye bye

[@jxaboi88]

At the 36 sec, i heard brenda calling bolin B???

[@celineng9819]

Same

[@spark-ly]

Love this combination! Brenda and Bolin really has such good chemistry and I really want to see them more!

[@pjtparty]

i like all the candid replies from the hosts :D

[@AmadeaPranoto]

It's good to see you again here, Bolin!

[@seanlingham5254]

When Brenda said 'It's SOOOO LONG. It's 4 paragraphs okay...". That moment, i knew that my dreams of having her in my bookworm zone were over. I'll have to go out of the zone to deal with this 'crush'.

[@dopiley]

Finally! some uncensored Bolin swearing

[@namesensored9584]

Well I mean it’s not exactly wrong to be nice to all girls and then later on choose the girl who happens to like him. Firstly, going out with the idea in mind to find someone is actually very tiring especially for guys… even more so when u empty your whole clip but still miss every shot. So sometimes just being nice to everyone and being passive is easier and less tiring…

[@kingseiryu929]

This episode kinda makes me sick. What if he is really nice to her and they keep misconstruing his actions? Treat girls nice, nice guy. Don't go out of their way to interact, weirdo and social incompetent. No winning for the guys. No in between. Always their fault. The girl has no agency. She don't know how to say no to rides, must write in to ask what she does.

[@yurifujimaki4185]

Love/RS is like an investment, just because you put in your entire life savings doesn't mean it'll give you ROI.

[@noel6764]

I hope to join ZULA Answers one day as a guest HAHA the segment seems so fun!!

[@ChrisT739]

Woah bolin is the best for this show

[@Amaranthine.96]

For the 2nd one, I feel like the guy is hinting the girl that he likes her but doesn't want to confess, so he tries to make the girl jealous by talking about all the other girl friends.

[@SY-xo8ld]

Bolin is right, the kinda of guy is a JIBAI!

[@mysticstrikeforce5957]

2:23 that actually happen to me but she didn't realize i be nice to people who treats me well its just a respect and now we aren't friends anymore :( I can't help but be nice to you only and not others. But most girls do get jealous when guys like me do that to them and think they feel more special.

[@alyssasg4119]

Yes I have this experience where I do have a guy best friend which treats me like a younger sister and I’m also having mixed feelings so thank u for this video , it will help me a lot

[@Alice3456able]

Nice editing!

[@cassiecassandra3122]

sheesh. number 4 got me crying so badly

[@23456JY]

Want to try Brenda and John for one episode? John always gives very wise opinion. Nonetheless Bolin also gives good opinion too. But John imo, gives the wise old man vibe more

[@holamozza]

I need a Bolin in my life

[@cashmerehazel21]

Girl #1, it's time to tell your friend that you're not comfortable being his younger sister and then cut contact. You've more feelings for him and you've already let him know. He has also clearly stated this is not romance. To do yourself and your mental health a favour, walk out of the grey-friendship and stop the calls and conversations. If the guy misses you, he'll think twice before calling you as this might mean he needs to face his true emotions. On the other end, you should not harbour any hope for this relationship to be anything more and even if he calls you during your isolation period, do not pick the call up. (It's not rude, he already knows why you need space). Tell yourself (but don't tell him) that during the first 90 days you shall not be in contact with him nor search him on social media etc. This is a step-by-step way of getting yourself out of the rut and self-disciplining your desires. Do not contact him out of your own will even after 90 days are up. You would appreciate the days of clear headspace to ponder on your own life and not have your judgement clouded as what Bolin mentioned. Cry if you need to while isolating yourself. If you don't act wisely now, your future self will cry for the time spent foolishly and wasted on this guy. Imagine other guys wanting to get closer to you but they can't because you have this guy blocking your way to finding true love.

[@p6h14]

I love the last line. 👏🏽

[@nik.kinetikentertainment2298]

Omg this response is so good 😭

[@seahsh8079]

Hi, @Zula, can you guys do one on the different types of friends zones? Tia!

[@EarthShaxer]

Although we separated peacefully due to the frequency between each other is different and the goals in life is different. My feelings for her is still strong and thought of chasing her the second time, but I'm afraid that this might be the wrong choice because marriage is a lifetime thing. She wanted us to be friends instead as she felt that I'm someone worth to be friends. Any advice if this relationship should be continued?

[@drkrpr155]

Nah. Sure find someone more compatible, just keep your mind wide open to what’s out there bro!

[@nik.kinetikentertainment2298]

From my perspective, She’s not interested in A relationship with you. But I think you should Open up and bring it up to her in a genuine way. Clear the air. Communicate your feelings. And then both of you decide together what the next step will be between the two of you. Whether that means space or romance or whatever.

[@cashmerehazel21]

Girl #2, just get yourself a boyfriend and see whether this guy still drives you around across Singapore? If he doesn't want to make things official after years of knowing you, it's clear you are not his priority. Stop putting yourself in dilemma as your youth waits for no one. Get a proper boyfriend who loves you, meanwhile nobody hates free rides, do they? ;)

[@nkboon1234]

How about girl go ask him about his intentions instead of mind reading his motives

[@cashmerehazel21]

@@nkboon1234 have you heard a player admitting he's a player? 😆

[@nik.kinetikentertainment2298]

The friend zone is not always a bad place to be in. Often times a girl will Friendzone a guy in order to get to know him and see what he’s really about. It is not common for women to fall in love at first sight, or after a few dates. They want to be friends first. So she might bro-zone a guy until she can figure out her own feelings for him.

[@wfreya5491]

“Bro”. My husbands also calls me bro

[@p6h14]

You're kidding! Haha

[@mysticstrikeforce5957]

This is why males should have some few female friends cause at least one of them will be datable and some will give you advice cause we all know our mothers won't do it or if you have a sister. i do feel like girls can't take rejection seriously then guys do cause guys as to practice to ask girls out i think if girls actually ask out the guys they actually like or knows the guys is good even if they don't look perfect i don't think their will be at least a few issues here and there plus its much safer for a girl to say hi to guys then guys to say hi to girls.

[@melaniekoh]

i lov their chemistry hehehehe ship~~

[@drkrpr155]

r/s teachers status 😆

[@transparenn2518]

why do i get "nevertheless" vibes from confession 2 HAHAHAHA

[@Wuyh99]

but both of them single?

[@DLVNO]

the first one, maybe the guy enjoy the companionship with the girl, but maybe not sexually interested. And the guy already made a label "younger sister", maybe she cannot accept it because she likes him

[@p6h14]

But why bring to show work colleagues though...

[@DLVNO]

@@p6h14 imho, maybe different backgrounds or upbringings lead to that. Some guys are used to having many or few close female friends. While some guys rarely have female friends, and only meet to date in mind. I think similarly, female also like that. So maybe since he already make it clear calling her as sister, he brings her meeting his colleague maybe for socialising? So that she (younger sister) get to know his friends? Or got someone else (his colleague) interested with her also? But yea who knows the real story 😂

[@p6h14]

@@DLVNO good point.. maybe it's to set her up with his other male colleagues! Hurhur poor her

[@cherriemay528]

Thank fuck I'm forever single

[@sandien2861]

How can I submit questions for zula to answer? Anyone know?

[@beckham48]

Brenda and bolin should be together 😂

[@portatayy__7605]

I wish theres English subtitle🥺

[@carolineng4182]

Yes 1st

[@mamemo359]

I love Brenda in anything haha!

[@omnommich7904]

Email confessions!

[@HKspurs10]

bolin very different with brenda than when bobocharchar

[@wildreams]

99% of the time, the answer is yes.

[@user-nr9vl7sb7c]

fell into the trap of the "nice guy"..... hahaha sigh

[@kiriyurox]

Ask the girl to call you "step-bro" instead of "bro"

[@jianyaong6599]

Can I girl-friendzone Brenda? 🙂

[@nikkishana201]

As a girl, you should never tell the guy you like him… It’s a totally wrong thing to do…

[@Bryan-yk7wj]

First guy adhering to the bro code. F F F F

[@abcabc-bu9wn]

since when bolin became so mature?

[@Wuyh99]

maybe the guy and her best bro ma XD

[@kyuketsukii96]

Girl gets friendzone by guy = the guy cheebye Guy gets friendzone by girl = she just found comfort in you Standards hEhE

[@h_sbmhs]

Ikr it's kinda weird

[@heeheehaheho5649]

Um, but the guy’s situation is pretty different from the girl’s one?

[@DionLYA]

Most of our society expects the guy to be the provider and the girl to be weak, that's why these double standards exist. Not that I agree with it though.

[@insanitystreaks]

7:34 "It means that this guy is a jibai." hahaha nice one Bolin