Disordered Discussions with Eden V (an OCPD conversation) Part 3

[@EdenV]

Yes!! Been looking forward to seeing the final part :D Some great stuff in this last part of our conversation!

[@freeman47]

Attainable but unsustainable is such a great concept.

[@OCPD_support]

Aaron Penney I've been trying forever to come up with a single line that could explain the basic concept. Glad you liked it.

[@karineroumache9124]

@@OCPD_support me too.

[@rossgeography]

@26:00 sounds like both OCD and Avoidant Personality Traits. The anxiety around communication is manifesting as OCD Intrusive thoughts - a useful way to think about intrusive thoughts it's not actually about the thought - compelling/distressing as they appear it's about the underlying EMOTION; I feel scared, exposed, as if I'll be humiliated if this person rejects me.

[@OCPD_support]

Ross Geography very good point.

[@capoeiristachik1]

I just noticed that you’re so right about the perfectionism wording. The fact that my standard is actually attainable is why no one understands why I’m struggling so hard meeting my expectations. Its probably why so many therapists don’t pick up on it too, because my therapist would challenge that these things were actually problems even when I noticed how hard it was. It’s definitely that it’s unsustainable and not unattainable.

[@OCPD_support]

capoeiristachik1 I think that our best shot at achieving success through therapy is by accurately describing our feelings, motivations, and how they influence our actions to our therapists. We need to give them the ammunition needed to create the best tools for healing. So I will continue to delve into this topic in order to make clearer the language required to best frame our disorder. Thanks for the comment.

[@capoeiristachik1]

@@OCPD_support 🙏🏼 thanks for the advice. I’m at a place where I want to find someone who will specifically help me with OCPD now, hopefully it won’t be terribly hard to find. But yeah, it would super help if someone was trained in these specific concerns.

[@karineroumache9124]

Oh, brilliant ! The link with the impostor syndrome. Love it !

[@OCPD_support]

Karine Roumache Eden made some excellent points in this video!

[@karineroumache9124]

@@OCPD_support I'll listen to her. She seems great. Should I be worried about listening obsessively to your videos ? Just kidding, I think I already have the answer ;)

[@OCPD_support]

@@karineroumache9124

[@saraslife1972]

The perfectionism can indeed vary, not everybody with ocpd is perfectionst about cleaning. I do love cleaning but don't clean obsessivly, it's more about the way it has to be done... Procrastinating is something that I realy don't like about myself... I would realy LOVE to find something I can keep doing 😩

[@OCPD_support]

Sara's Life I have suffered on and off my whole life with procrastination. A really good book that might give you some needed insight into procrastination is "The Healthy Compulsive".

[@pontefit4447]

19:21 “i should probably do something about mine… or maybe not”😂😂😂😂 So relatable 💀

[@OCPD_support]

PONTE FIT super funny.

[@احمدعبدالصمدمحمدالهمامي]

Loss of control and the urgent need for perfectionism are the core igniters in OCPD. This is because someone with OCPD seeks perfection in a situation but when losing control, he or she feels unable to go on normally in a situation and therefore they tend to withdraw from the situation.

[@OCPD_support]

احمد عبد الصمد محمد الهمامي very well said. I think that captures a lot of the essence nicely.

[@May-qb3vx]

For me the procrastination is weird. In school I’d jump right into a big assignment before I even really knew what I was doing with it so I’d have the time to obsess over it (because I knew it would happen) and get it perfect. But without a deadline, I end up never starting anything for the same reasons you said here.

[@OCPD_support]

Amanda procrastination for sure works in mysterious ways. And it tends to work a little differently for everyone. But there are loads of good resources online to find techniques for combatting it. Thanks for the comment.

[@LarsLondian]

Great video, I have enjoyed hearing from Eden as well. Speaking to cleanliness I remember getting an iRobot Roomba Vacuum thinking this would help, then finding out it creates an entirely new set of issues. Starting with the perfectionism and requiring the current best model, and all of the accessories because well I might need them, I mean I will need them. You all did great, Take Care. L.L.

[@OCPD_support]

Lars Londian I think if I had a Roomba I would just put some googly eyes on it and be done with it. Thanks for the comment.

[@LarsLondian]

@@OCPD_support Heh, I just wish they had a cobweb cleaning robot, something that could climb walls and ceilings and get the places that require ladders and or extension poles.

[@OCPD_support]

@@LarsLondian or something that makes sure I never need to go near a spider.

[@SamanthaGreen-w2z]

Is there a part 2?

[@OCPD_support]

@SamanthaGreen-w2z there sure is - kzbin.info/www/bejne/rpusqKV6gpV6q6Mfeature=shared

[@rossgeography]

perfectionism is both impossible and sub-optimal: I'm trying to come up with a mantra something like "my (academic) pass is other people's 65%" - which is usually the case whereas if you pursue the 'perfect' end result sure you might achieve 70% maybe even 75% but you will go through hell and it's simply not worth it - you need to be that friend who tells you to 'ditch' (i.e. have more fun/balance) rather than (anxiously) believing that 'this time it will be different' because it won't be and you'll need up depleted and if it continues ultimately feeling lost and hopeless but awareness of the condition - even that awareness alone - can save your life and help bring perspective and healthier habits.

[@rossgeography]

I think there is a cohort with OCPD that are scrupulous and moral but they have a blind spot that anything is 'wrong' because society can be reward their behaviour - think about an administrator or accountant who is a stickler for rules - these people can feel somewhat seperate but no empathy or awareness that their dichotomous view of the world is not 'normal' . I think that's the difference between a 'disorder' and personality traits (for instance I don't recognise the miserliness spending style).

[@OCPD_support]

Ross Geography fully agree with the cycle you lay out in your comment in reference to believing 'this time it will be different'. If you don't take decisive action to change the way you respond to outside stimuli or life itself, you are destined to repeat the pattern of over-achieving followed by disappointment.

[@heedmydemands]

[@OCPD_support]

@heedmydemands thanks :)

[@thegoodlightllc4093]

I would not suggest using a cartoon masked caricature as a replacement when you have no video. An image would have been fine. I found it very distracting from the content.

[@OCPD_support]

@thegoodlightllc4093 the use of illustration in this manner is very common on KZbin. And the mask was a stylistic choice as this was very early on in the pandemic. Mostly though, this was done because I had technical issues and my footage wasn't usable. I hope I never have to replace myself with anything going forward, but as I don't like my face, if I lose my footage, it's unlikely I'd use a photo.