Oh Zelda, Honey, NO. (And Other Armour Reviews)

[@JillBearup]

Am I on hold with Amazon right now? Yes. Is this still a better option than waiting five working days for a form response from Ingram Spark? Er...yes. Yes definitely. Nielsen, while lovely and informative, could not solve my problem. UPDATE: They do not know how to solve my problem, they advise me to contact Ingram Spark. Because that's going to go well. I feel a complainypants video coming on... SECOND UPDATE: Nielsen have helped me to solve my problem...in the next three working days. I hope. I'll keep you posted. In the mean time, if you see something that says 'hey preorder this paperback of Just Stab Me Now' uh...DON'T DO THAT. It will not work. Regardless, happy Monday to you all!

[@AndrewD8Red]

Have you seen any of blumineck's videos? AKA the pole dancing archer? He's awesome. I think you'd both get along famously if you collaborated.

[@AndrewD8Red]

His latest video is about fighting in heels. Turns out; you can't.

[@Valdagast]

Remember to forgive 7 times 70 times.

[@ecospider5]

Hopefully you don’t have to wear complainypants with grumpypants that would just look weird. 😋

[@Brievel]

I have heard nothing at all good about Ingram Spark. I wish you the best of luck.

[@ptonpc]

Darth Vader armour normally looks very cool no matter the genre.

[@OpusCulo13666]

Agreed, even hello kitty Vader is awesome

[@WilburJaywright]

Was going to say something similar, but your comment has already served to demonstrate my note: Darth Vader is the Bearup win button 😊.

[@leannamation]

Bro I want to see what she thinks of clone armor so bad 😂

[@ptonpc]

@@WilburJaywright :D

[@raydrexler5868]

I met Darth Vader at Disney last week, I’m 6 foot seven, I felt like I was five years old again. So yeah.

[@Neophoia]

Fun fact; for the last Zelda "armour", she actually ends up cutting her hair to shoulder-length bob in sequel. She still rocks that outfit though (until some spoilery things happen).

[@stevenolson3977]

She acquires some....scale mail.

[@spacecat8511]

@@stevenolson3977booooo! 🤣💀

[@OtakuNoShitpost]

But we can all agree that before the scale mail, it was Toga Time

[@clanso7887]

​@@stevenolson3977boooooooo 😂

[@thegardenofeatin5965]

@@clanso7887 Would spoil the game.

[@devilindisguise4542]

Jill's polite judgement is my favourite thing ever

[@calebgoodman3028]

It’s funny how Wilds Era Zelda’s normal casual clothes are better than her actual combat outfit from her non-canon Warriors timeline self.

[@massgunner4152]

Is like those elf armors that only cover the limb parts except Zelda couldnt run around in a bikini.

[@Benjamin1986980]

She's running around in a ball gown for all intents and purposes. If she didn't fight, you would actually be very good in a the princess is leading the battle sort of way

[@EriktheRed2023]

That Vader armour though. It's all "Lucas, I am thy Father."

[@lisaroper421]

Have you ever read the William Shakespeare's Star Wars? Hilarious stuff!

[@KaizoeAzurum]

"Nay, I be thy father."

[@EriktheRed2023]

@@lisaroper421 There's a video of Ian McDiarmid reading it on stage. 'Tis, indeed, hilarious. Also awesome. @KaizoeAzurum: You're right, of course. But for joke purposes, you sometimes get better results with 'Beam me up, Scotty' or 'This is a knife'.

[@richardcrowe3091]

Hhhhmmmmm. I get samurai vibes from it. Particularly the waist area.

[@mrhedgebull1658]

@@richardcrowe3091 Really? My immediate thought was Vader 40K.

[@needamuffin]

I love BotW Zelda's design, but it never occurred to me that the blue bits might not be connected to the gambeson underneath. That would make them a tiny tube top and a weird accessory skirt/frill thing. I always just assumed the whole top was a unit.

[@westrim]

I mean, it could totally be stitched to the gambeson, and that's part of why the belt is there

[@juanjuri6127]

If they're separate then you could have a whole wardrobe of over-gambesons to mix and match. Plus they're thin and small so they'd be easy for you(r personal knight) to haul around when you need to color-coordinate on the go. Very important!

[@thatHARVguy]

@@juanjuri6127 When your tailor makes the cutest crop-top that goes with everything.

[@froggycolouring]

@@juanjuri6127when you’re heading into battle but then you realize you’re not colour-coordinated:

[@clothar23]

​@@froggycolouring You jest but colors and pretty symbols were the only thing that kept dudes in full plate from seeing if friendly fire was on.

[@HorizonOfHope]

Jill's glasses provide more armour protection than Zelda's armour.

[@texasbeast239]

Anti-scratch, Anti-UVA and B coatings So, yeah

[@Hydra-f6s]

💀

[@khathaway414]

And they look quite good on her.

[@nicolasvillasecaali7662]

Being able to see your aggressor is certainly a good boost to your survivability

[@CraigTrader]

Polycarbonate lenses would be best for that.

[@fredbyoutubing]

So, the recent Zelda outfit is like a royal on a trek wearing a bullet proof vest and I like the idea!

[@annekeener4119]

I view Zelda’s quilted gambison as protection from assassination attempts. It’s the equivalent of wearing a bulletproof vest under your clothes, just for arrows. She just happens to wear it openly. It makes sense since we see at least one if not more attempts on her life in BoTW flashbacks. There’s a reason she has a bodyguard.

[@Luke_Danger]

"... and a Guild Wars Elementalist!" Thank you for making my day with that throwback!

[@wasseckbigovich2037]

Funny thing about Link is all of the clothes are counted as armor.

[@ana_d_73]

Jill is going to have so much fun with the Baldur's Gate 3 armor sets!

[@taneelbrightblade6622]

We need analysis of Lae'zel's half plate!

[@georgeoldsterd8994]

Methinks that's what the next video's gonna be.

[@elliewellie_YouTube]

Wavemother's robe

[@gloweye]

Everything with the bare thighs like on the Zelda armor is an automatic "just stab me now".

[@thegardenofeatin5965]

We are talking about a franchise where the Chosen Hero goes into combat in a stocking cap, a crotch length cloth tunic and tights, carrying a bastard sword and shield.

[@moonlightwolf]

Oh Jill, what I've learned from your videos made for an epic and heart wrenching fight in my dnd campaign between my character and her brother. Everyone was sobbing. It was great

[@emilyrowland1846]

I’m so excited for your coverage of Zelda armor! Can’t wait to see what else you cover in the longer armor review!

[@Aghul]

I feel like a video on all the different 'armor' (let's maybe rather call them 'clothing') sets from Breath of the Wild/Tears of the Kingdom would be fun!

[@ruthie4197]

I agree!!!

[@archmageeldran2567]

Link I think would be improved if the blue was more prominent with maybe the brown being replaced with a different colour. King looks good and does a lot to make him standout in crowd shots and letting you know who he is. You are not going to have the issue of loosing track of the guy as a watcher. The Princess I find a bit too form fitting but again it does allow her to standout in crowd shots and when she is with the father. Zelda1 feels like the designers wanted to have a traditional look for Zelda and then were told to add armour without being able to adjust the design accordingly. Zelda 2 as stated looks like an adventurer you would see in a fantasy setting and I like the blue as it makes her standout more and stops her feeling like a minor npc Vader design wise is awesome and would work great as an evil emperor or champion design. Character wise feels a bit ostentatious for him but that is nitpicking. Fun video as always.

[@MrGhosta5]

Unfortunately you can't dye the brown parts of the glide suit. Dying it pretty much only changes the color of the wings on the back and legs.

[@alexanderhay7358]

the title of jill's future autobiography: "it's a story"

[@Cimlite]

That Darth Vader armor is just.. _wow..._ 👀

[@hoabinh555]

The Med-evil Vader was amazing! Love that armor.

[@richardcrowe3091]

I still see more samurai there.

[@mrhedgebull1658]

I thought it was Warhammer 40K Vader.

[@hoabinh555]

@richardcrowe3091 yeah, I can see that. The chest piece is more samurai armor shape.

[@hoabinh555]

@mrhedgebull1658 way to small shoulder pads I'd say.

[@feldegast]

Good luck with the book, my father self published his first book, his second is in the editing/restructure stage (I have been reading each chapter of it as he gives it to me as "ready for checking" I find quite a few cases where terms used that should be the same are slightly different giving them a jaring feeling to me when I read them and so I flag them all and he can then do as he chooses) it can be quite a process, his book is not fiction so it has a little more scrutiny, I look forward to reading yours!

[@Marianojoey]

That last "Vader Wetern Samurai" armor was RAD!!! XD

[@Daydream_Believer63]

I appreciate the inclusion of so much Legend of Zelda in this video 😊

[@AndrewD8Red]

"Just Rank The Armour Noi."

[@calebgoodman3028]

If it helps the Glide set, they can be dyed so the color can at least be fixed.

[@MrGhosta5]

Unfortunately the brown parts can't be dyed. Most of what can be dyed on the glide suit is just the wings on the back and legs.

[@OpusCulo13666]

I like the "by the fire or shopping" gamberson look. The possible painted mail on leather to make plate mail for the king makes me cringe and gives PTSD like flashbacks to string mail/jumper mail at LARP.

[@Mageling55]

Between the two games, at the time Zelda is in that second outfit, she is going around Hyrule as a field researcher, in a world that is still dangerous, but much reduced when there isn't a big bad driving the monsters into a frenzy and chain rezzing them. Not full armor but still protective is absolutely the thing to wear

[@AskMia411]

To be fair to link, the armor CAN be dyed different colors, which probably would help with the aesthetic. I haven’t dyed that armor set yet, but I just might go do that today after watching this video 😁

[@XanderVJ]

I hope you go for the Champion's Leathers from "Tears of the Kindom" next!

[@davidfwooldridge3430]

A lot of the armor sets that Link wears in BotW and TotK seem to fall heavily into not actually armor despite being called it, plus whatever the hell the Rubber Suit is.

[@Ffourteen]

If you want topical, everyone is raving about Baldur's Gate 3 at the moment. You could look at those armors. The biggest difference between Baldur's Gate 3 and the Baldur's Gate games from the nineties is that everyone on the Sword Coast now has a UK accent instead of American and Canadian accents.

[@niofo7713]

i really hope she does bg3 companions!

[@jennym8204]

I wish you'd been rating armor back during Xena's heyday because it wound be so much fun to see you rating all the characters in that show LOL

[@TheCalicojane]

It would be great to hear your take on the armor sets from Baldur's Gate 3. The druid sets in particular.

[@4wheal]

Yay, another armour review that are always Amazing

[@tankizard]

3:55 I dig the look of the accessorized gambeson (sorry if I misspelled/misspelt it, you armor purists). It's a good look.

[@lorrainemunoa791]

These never get old!! Brilliant.

[@stephanieturner6912]

Jill is reviewing various Zelda game armor!! This is the BEST day!!!

[@myrojyn]

I also wondered why Zelda cut her hair in Tears of the Kingdom. Jill is the reason. Specifically this video.

[@MrGhosta5]

She cut it because between breath of the wild and tears of the kingdom she decided to go on an extended holiday with Link. Inside Link's house in Hateno village Zelda put up pictures of all the places she visited.

[@rootbeer_666]

I’ve been there and read the diary, but never checked the pics. Huh, now I know what to do next as I continue to procrastinate from finishing the game. Also, I think it’s Zelda’s house now. Unless they live together, idk

[@busdriver8980]

A Just Stab Me Now episode always makes me fell better.

[@davydatwood3158]

"No notes" may be the highest compliment anyone in the acting community can give. :)

[@INKSTARS1138]

that darth vader armor is AMAZING

[@vacuumdiagram]

"I give you what is my opinion, man?!" 🤣👍

[@LarryGarfieldCrell]

OMG! That Vader armor is amazing!

[@TheSuzberry]

Novelist/actor/combatant

[@Alvarin_IL]

Semi-serious suggestion - armor of the knights of the round table, from Monty Python's Holy Grail.

[@Scuzzlebutt142]

Ironically, even as a comedy, the armour in that is pretty good, as a couple of the Pythons had history degrees, and access to the BBC wardrobe, which is one of the best places to get well done historical garb, as they've been getting they're costumers from the Royal Shakespeare company since inception. If you look at Black Adder, it's also got really got period costuming.

[@LouseGrouse]

The background extras in the Jack the Giant Slayer photos seemed to have better armour haha. Some even had sallets (I think) and maybe gambesons?

[@Nemo2342]

I always think of you when I see some new atrocity in a manga or anime. The latest one was a "breastplate" that was just a small circle of metal strapped across the chest with no additional armor underneath. The only saving grace being that both the male and female protagonist use the same piece of armor, so it's equal opportunity stab them now.

[@Avigorus]

That first Link armor had too many straps lol

[@jpendowski7503]

Love these quick reviews. Especially when you can find one in the “ Just Stab Me Now “ category.

[@SkylerLinux]

I would have enjoyed some notes on that Med-evil Darth Armour, however I agree

[@shaunhall960]

I'm reminded of the first armor you showed as being tarred and feathered.

[@zodayn]

BotW Zelda looks very prepared as a statesperson. She's not in full armor as she's not planning to go into battle. But as a high ranking political figure, having some protection on at all times isn't a bad idea.

[@EinherjarLucian]

Zelda's blue outfit with the gambison is by far my favorite in the series; I'd play a game with her as the lead in a heartbeat.

[@resurgam_b7]

That Vader armor, while totally out of place in the Star Wars setting, Darth Vader is just dramatic enough that he might actually wear it just because he can. I mean, are you going to stop him? 😂

[@roryaphunter]

yay. Cover reveal. this is exciting

[@DrownedInExile]

That medieval Darth Vader armour, wow!

[@Secondruon]

To be somewhat fair, Zelda wasn’t planning on fighting a war that day. She only brought out the rapier because Link hadn’t been found yet. Then she got kidnapped and forced to hide out until her friends were ready. The villain in that game had so much more “stab me” energy.

[@ariwl1]

It's funny because Zelda's one of the few characters in that game who visibly wears any armor at all. XD

[@taylor_green_9]

Zelda's metal armour looks a lot like many of the Cloths from the Saint Seiya (Knights of the Zodiac) anime, and I'd love to see a review of some of those. You could do, like with Zelda, one of the more facepalmy outfits and another that's more reasonable. Also, needless to say, I agree the Vader armour needs no notes 🖤

[@isadoracostahamsi163]

Ow, I would love that!

[@flyingkitty67]

Have already preordered the ebook and plan on getting the paperback when it comes out. Hope business issues work out in your favor.

[@katharinameinzer6297]

Nice to see you again Jill! Hope the Paperback-problem resolves soon!

[@PVS3]

A bunch of the Zionite armor for link is incredibly busy, with a lot of details that just blur together into a visual mess. Which is... kind of an asthetic? It ties the different sets together as obviously coming from the same culture. But that culture had an odd sense of visual appeal.

[@ariwl1]

I do love how they went full tilt on so many of Link's outfit choices in TotK. Many of them are even more ridiculous than Hyrule Warrior Zelda's.

[@PVS3]

@@ariwl1 Oh yeah, there was no shortage of commitment. I just think they forgot to also make the outfits look good, or ensure they'll look readable at a wide angle during movement and action.

[@notoriouswhitemoth]

Most important places to armor? Neck, abdomen, temples. Also your neck and abdomen needs to be able to _move._ Designers, please be aware of that. Those three places are where a fatal wound is going to happen.

[@Scuzzlebutt142]

Was going to say about those Jack and the Beanstalk armours, hey look, Gorgets! That's a plus, surely. Those are rare as hens teeth in movies.

[@kellymartin2603]

The thing about the glide suit is that we've all seen a 'glide suit' done REALLY WELL recently... Hiccup's flightsuit from HTTYD2.

[@WilburJaywright]

Can I just say, that was a beautiful merch plug; I love it.😊

[@lrhb1172]

😁😆😉

[@AgFalcon84]

Oh if video game armor is on the table you could legit do a whole series on comparing the male and female armor in Monster Hunter. I don't recommend making a drinking game out of every time you have to call an armor "just stab me now" if you value your liver!

[@chrisj683]

The sound effect for the red arrows is great.

[@hunrahel]

The Vader suit reminds me of the various cat and mouse animal armor art pieces. I feel like they may have been covered already, but if not...

[@khathaway414]

Oh what a nice way to start the day! Thank you Jill. 😁😁😁

[@DragonFae16]

Seeing as Jill mentioned the Guild Wars Elementalist's 'armour', now I want her to do a video reviewing at least one armour set for each class. I doubt we'd get it, but it would still be fun to see how she'd react to some of the 'armour' female characters of light armour classes get put in.

[@BlackEpyon]

I'm perfectly happy saying that the impractical outfits with incomplete armour are just fashion statements. Also something I'd love to see implemented in a fantasy universe is a magic-based variant of the shield generators from Dune, which can easily turn the "just stab me now" category into a practical alternative. Perhaps more expensive than full plate armour, but far more fashionable.

[@dado__]

In Ascendance of a Bookworm, nobles can form mana armor, which is able to be shaped to the body, and normally soft/flexible unless it's repelling an attack. Thus, lady knights can have modest boob-plating that's soft unless an attack is hitting it, and thin but very effective armor can be worn underneath clothes.

[@spacecat_scribbles]

the glide suit is more aesthetically pleasing when it's dyed dark blue :D

[@Flufux]

In a fanfic I'm currently writing, I wrote in a scene where Zelda had a minor breakdown over her impractical outfit after getting stuck alone in a wilderness full of monsters.

[@remixtheidiot5771]

I believe pretty much all of Link's armors from BotW and TotK should be talked about at some point for being absolutely impractical. a couple mentions barring the glide suit - Flamebreaker Set - Rubber Armor - The Dragon Sets - Ancient Set - Zonai Armor and honestly this could go on.

[@phillychick]

The title of the video made me LOL. "Just stab me now." 😂

[@Afrieal]

Weather is kind of blah/rainy (It's Seattle Washington USA so this is normal) so this was a wonderful way to cheer me up on Monday Morning, Thank you and hope you're having a good week.

[@UltravioletNomad]

Worth noting that first Zelda armor was likely done by the designers from Koei and not Nintendo directly. Koei makes the actual mainline Dynasty Warriors games, and while the characters are all inspired by actual historical figures... let's just say there are a lot of creative liberties in those games, especially with female characters. It's very much more anime than Nintendo does with their character designs.

[@TheSimmr001]

also plot wise she wears it in one battle after getting attacked during a troop inspection, pretends to be kidnapped, and turns into Sheik. when she returns, sheik is always an option.

[@kacheek9101]

Yeah, Link's glide suit has lower overall defensive value than other armor sets. It's not really designed for combat; it's a flying squirrel suit designed for, well, gliding

[@rootbeer_666]

Exactly. I’d never fight in that armor, or the Climbing set or the Froggy set for that matter. They’re for mobility, that’s it. Then again, I’m not sure the Desert Voe set is all that protective but unless you’re well-stocked in hydration at all times, you’re otherwise SOL in battle

[@judsongaiden9878]

0:52 "Not great, not terrible." 4:13 [Shad gives you a high-five]

[@nadontcare9684]

You mentioning the oversized Tassets on Zelda makes me want to send you on the dark path of Artoria's 'armor' in Fate. Goddamn, that armor is just plates of steel over a ball gown dress, it's insane.

[@4.1132]

Little fact about Zelda and her outfits. The pink getup is from the first Hyrule Warriors game which is a spin off done in collaboration with Koei Tecmo and their series. That’s not to say that there isn’t plenty of ridiculous “armor” in Zelda games xD On a side note, Zelda as herself almost never wears armor or pants for that matter, then she is hella powerful with magic and archery😂

[@ariwl1]

Lol One look at the thumbnail and I knew you'd have things to say. XD The Zelda series would be a headscratcher to review based on armor as the vast majority of the time the major characters aren't really wearing any. The Zelda from Hyrule Warriors you highlighted is actually one of the few playable characters who wears any visible armor at all. Link himself at most gets a light chainmail shirt most of the time, if anything at all. I just chalk it up to magical clothing being why they don't lose limbs left and right. You showed a Tears of the Kingdom outfit. That game has over 30 unique "armor" sets and I'd wager less that 10 of them would qualify as actual armor, not to mention their defense power is raised by Great Fairies blowing kisses at you.

[@edwardthompson3377]

I actually like the Link glide suit, but it does need a little color to make it pop. Which you can actually do in the same, so cheers. But it is "Not Actually Armor" because the only reason it is labled armor in the game is that is the game term for any outfit. This includes ninja wear, a skirt, a basic tunic, and ornate headpieces that offer no coverage. The terminology is, I guess, because the Great Fairies can upgrade the outfits, but only one piece at a time, and "Upgrade armor piece" sounds slightly better than "Upgrade outfit piece." Even if it isn't accurate. I imagine the leather piece might help keep the core straight during controlled descents. The tassels and what not evoke the style of the Rito, so while they may not be aesthetically pleasing to everyone, there is a cultural grounding to it.

[@SerialSnowmanKiller]

In my homebrew TTRPG fantasy world, there IS 'just stab me now' female armor... but it's explicitly fashion wear. It's what a well-off, martially-inclined lady (or someone who pretends to be martially-inclined) would wear to a ball. It's a steel dress. "Look at me, I go to a blacksmith instead of a seamstress for my dance outfits!"

[@conwarlock3537]

Links Gliding suit looks way better colored in, the standard color scheme is kinda eh though

[@SHDUStudios]

I would say some armors from Skyrim. They’re either really cool and practical or abhorrent.

[@nickdejager8873]

BotW Zelda explicitly isn't armor. She's an adventurer of sorts, but not a fighter. She is supposed to be a holy magic user and has five bodyguards to protect her. Not even sure the quilted part is meant to be just in case armor.

[@Anti_Woke]

Always interesting and amusing, Jill . I'll be buying the book just to enjoy the writing. Unfortunately, not through amazon, because their UK customer-service is non-existent unless you live on a mobile 'phone.

[@thaddeushamlet]

Offshoot video/series idea: Adventurer gear. Outfits that aren't necessarily armour but are, ostensibly, designed to offer some amount of protection and/or help hold equipment they might need. Like Zelda's botw outfit is good on the side of wearable anywhere but offers more protection than just plain clothes, while also displaying her status with the gold detailing.

[@ericepperson8409]

Since you started your actor combatant journey from watching a Star Wars sequel fight, I'd love to see your reactions to the lightsaber battles in the Ahsoka series. Especially between Ahsoka and Baylan.

[@Omni315]

I think the glide armour gives a lot of protection up for it's main purpose of improved flight maneuverability.

[@chronostheviolinist]

I'd love a review on some of the armors from Nimona! I know the titular character is mainly just wearing some kinda chainmail under her outfit, but Ballister generally wears armor, and so do a couple other characters

[@scottmcshannon6821]

the kings armour looks like it designed to turn every overhead blow into a guaranteed beheading. why is that ok?

[@Scuzzlebutt142]

Actor's comfort, as per usual. the Helm should come down a quite bit lower, and the gorget should sit a little higher, to protect his neck.

[@Valdagast]

Bret Deveraux made a historian's assessment of armor in Baldur's Gate 3 over on his blog (A Collection of Unmitigated Pedantry). You might be interested.

[@schuylermeyers6353]

always nice to see someone's EDA, every day armor

[@chebikitty5566]

I find the the Wilds era of Zelda to have some of the best and worst(in Links case) armor/not armor outfits. Zelda is canonically wandering around doing research and trying to solve the problems in the Wilds era. She is going to get attacked while out and about, a little bit of protection in her everyday wear will likely be more effective in saving her life then walking around in true armor.

[@Pharthrax]

Oh, oh, *oh!* I’m very exited for the next video, because I have a great suggestion. I suppose I will tell you about that one next time.

[@crithon]

the glide armor? I'm sorry, when Link lands, safely, without dying, he gets hit ONCE by a Lizalfo and just straight up DIES! Oh it's neat, it's got special abilities, there's quests to unlock it.... but, as armor? Stock up on fairies in bottles.

[@MrGhosta5]

I would put the glide suit as not actually armor as it's purpose is to help Link glide through the air. Link would never wear as armor it in a fight.

[@benzaiten933]

Dear Jill, your book could be engraved upon (not actually) armour plates and I'll still purchase it! the form matters not.