Just Stab Me Now: A Women's Armour Tier List

Can you move? Can you breathe? Can you fight?
Today we're going to look at some armour, and also 'armour' and probably draw some ANGRY ARROWS. Also this list is basically being judged on how comfortable and useful I think it would be to wear, you have been warned.
Extended version is here and on Patreon: • Ranking Women's Armor ...
Music from epidemicsound.com
Jungle Thrill - Bonnie Grace
The Unexplored - Philip Ayers
The Way to the Sky - Hampus Naeselius
Keep Close to the Guide - Philip Ayers
Oceanic Adventure - Bonnie Grace
Super Hero - Bonnie Grace

[@JillBearup]

Try out the secret extended edition of the video here: kzbin.info/www/bejne/Zn-xl5l-h8eYgMk (Think of it like a Patreon taster) How did you like the Angry/Confused Arrows? I enjoyed venting my frustrations via drawing 😁

[@AndrewD8Red]

Wait, why is your comment from 5 hours ago?! 😯

[@FreakingPlane]

@@AndrewD8Red must have been private and she commented first. She must have wanted it pinned when the notification went out.

[@AndrewD8Red]

@@FreakingPlane That's cheating.

[@Stormwern]

See Excalibur right now, it's amazing!

[@FreakingPlane]

@@AndrewD8Red no its not- what do you even mean lol

[@jinxtheunluckypony]

I’m glad there’s a “not actually armor” category. Trying to rate zero-suit Samus when Samus never willingly goes into combat without her power armor just wouldn’t be fair. It’d be like rating Darth Vader’s armor when he’s in his therapy tank.

[@sethb3090]

Yeah, I saw that thumbnail and I was like "Um, that's when she's not actually wearing her armor."

[@randomduck8679]

Would Vader's suit even count as armour?

[@rakninja]

@@randomduck8679 i'm pretty sure it's got a better version of the same kind of plating that stormtroopers use. just because his armor is also a life support machine does not make it any less armor, at least in my opinion.

[@joshuahogan3475]

@@randomduck8679 you see him tank a hit from a LIGHTSABER with minimal damage in Empire Strikes back. It's not just armor, it is DAMN good armor!

[@トーキ-g8v]

@@logicplague shush

[@SMTRodent]

The prediction that I would like a tier list combined with lady armour turned out to be remarkably accurate.

[@arcadeinvader8086]

What tier would you rate that prediction

[@oddtomato1049]

@@arcadeinvader8086 Medium tier. I play it safe.

[@DaniDoyle]

Same. KZbin has figured out that I'm gay

[@oddtomato1049]

@@DaniDoyle *Google knows everything* Privacy is an illusion, wether you're online or not.

[@DaniDoyle]

@@oddtomato1049 I mean, its not like i hide it :p

[@gloweye]

"Not actually armor" is a category a lot of people forget when talking about this topic. And slave leia costume also gets a lot of hate. People seem to forget she got captured and forced into that outfit by a blatantly evil crime boss/slave owner for the sole purpose of humiliating her and/or any possible rescuers.

[@SprikSprak]

Exactly - and then she turns the tables on that same boss and kills him with the very chain that he was using to enslave her. Is really obvious what the message is there really

[@natesmodelsdoodles5403]

The best bit is that she proceeded to murder him with it before making her escape. As usual with Leia, she's no damsel, she's a prison riot waiting to happen.

[@neptun2810]

Jabba is literally the drug lord of the Galaxy, who runs a big criminal empire and kills people just for fun. All of that is ok, but him puttin Leia in that Bikini and chaining her to his throne is not ok? Actually that might be one of the minor bad things Jabba did.

[@TheSarahskaninchen]

I think i absolutely agree with you there, but in some Films it very much depends on the camera focus. You can Show a Woman in such a costume and then Focus much on her breasts or butt, which would make it a very sexualised gaze. Other films May Show a similar costume with a different camera focus (more full Body shots and then Focus more on the face and Arms which means more focus on the characters actions instead of highlighting their sexuality or gender). So it is Not that much about the reasons for the costume but the directing decisions.

[@YouAreStillNotablaze]

It lines up story wise but at the end of the day we know why they had her wear that and it wasn't for the story

[@matthewmcneany]

I freakin' love tier lists where the person explains what the tiers actually mean.

[@hansdieter8801]

It does not only help the watcher to understand what is going on, but also helps the Creator to rank them, what makes them way less random

[@Caldera01]

Generally the tiers don't mean anything. It's just a gradient from best to worst.

[@lolmaker777]

Generally speaking I think the following should apply for gaming tier list (in my opinion). Outside of gaming, something similarly tailored for the intend there. S: No reason to pick anything different ever. A: Solid pick in almost all circumstances B: Will be decent in most situations C: There are reasons why you might want this, but better options are typically available D: Not good enough to be good, To good to be bad E: Extremely situational, Only pick with the right synergies F: Never pick this under any circumstances

[@sammiller6631]

@@lolmaker777 Why S? S is so random. Yes, S is still random in all those video games.

[@cactuskaktus6734]

That’s like the bare minimum. Don’t know why people don’t do that

[@zachary4670]

When someone asked Carry Fisher about how revealing the metal bikini outfit is, and how could she wear it as a feminist icon, and what would they say to their daughter about it, Carry said: “You tell your daughter that an evil person kidnapped her, and forced her to wear it. And then she killed him.” RIP our Princess.

[@toptsun8484]

Really makes you raise your eyebrow at "stereotypical male nerd characters" who cite liking this costume, huh

[@gumball6445]

@@toptsun8484 Shhhhhhhhhhh

[@pwnorbepwned]

Reminds me of arguments over the live action Ghost in the Shell movie. “What do you have to say about a movie where a Japanese girl is kidnapped, mind-wiped, and has her brain shoved into an artificial body that makes her look like a white woman? How can you stand a movie depicting something so heinous as being okay?!” “By being glad when the cartoonishly evil villain who does all that stuff in the movie gets his comeuppance. Seriously, it’s not like movies with slave owners as the villains are advocating for slavery. Lighten up.”

[@treacherousjslither6920]

So a feminist icon can't wear a bikini? What's wrong with showing some skin?

[@treacherousjslither6920]

@@toptsun8484 Women like the costume as well. And why not? It's a sexy good looking iconic costume.

[@PaulJohnsonM]

Samus' Zero suit is basically underwear. It's form-fitting clothes to be worn under her fusion suit, which, itself, is an intermediary layer and interface between her and the power suit. The only reason she appears in the zero suit is because of extenuating circumstances. Judging it as armor is like judging a full set of plate when the wearer was forced to take it off, leave it behind, and is now in his jimmies.

[@technoturnovers7072]

wait a second... does that mean that zero suit samus is like arthur from ghosts n goblins? holy shit, this is a revelation

[@lordbelou7279]

Thanks, that's what I was thinking of !

[@tyree9055]

Actually, a warrior who takes off his gothic plate armor would most likely still be wearing his padded gambeson underneath, and if he took it off, then he'd be wearing braies, trousers or his "jammies". I won't comment on his loincloth... 😅

[@williamturner6192]

@@tyree9055 and in similar manner Samus' 0suit is probably kevlar with some other scifi tech going for her. But if this is a non scifi ranking then "not armor" fits. I say she has some energy and physical protection though.

[@AXELweirdTigger]

the weird thing is how competent she is wearing that in smash vs her full armor

[@doughudgens9275]

When the “Corridor Crew” had a stuntwoman on she mentioned how they were expected to perform in heels, skimpy costumes that couldn’t hide padding, and things that made their job much riskier than stuntmen.

[@Vesperitis]

Also more costumes/skirts that didn't cover the legs, so no kneepads and a lot more scrapes.

[@Ailieorz]

And they have to be really thin to match the actresses body shapes so they can't even build muscle to help cushion blows.

[@julietfischer5056]

@@Ailieorz- Or a bit of fat. (Roman gladiators were a bit chunky for that reason, and so they could bleed dramatically from shallow-ish cuts.)

[@cdogthehedgehog6923]

Oh yeah stunt women usually have it a lot riskier for the same stunts as stuntmen. But you are forgetting the most riskiest; stuntmen stuntdoubleing for women in heels and skimpy costumes. See black widow's double in the first avengers movie lol

[@Stettafire]

@@Ailieorz My mum hurt her arm and the doc outright told her she needed some fat to help cushion falls etc as she got older. Not too much but ya shouldn't be super skinny either cus the fat helps protect your joints

[@pyrosianheir]

So... outside of the fun with the armors, I hadn't realized until this that there was a difference between vambraces and bracers! I'd thought they were interchangeable terms!! So thanks for that, Jill! :D

[@maddie9602]

I have also learned a thing today! I thought bracers was literally just short for vambraces.

[@JohnW-yv6yp]

Same, I used the terms interchangeably before, thought they both completely encircled the forearm.

[@F14thunderhawk]

@@JohnW-yv6yp theres a ton of conflicting information of what part of the arm assembly is the Bracer and Vambrace. Generally ive seen Vambrace either is the upper armor, or the arm assembly not including gauntlet and pauldron.

[@marc-andrerenaud1394]

Here's a fun fact for the burgeoning armour buff who also likes to learn links between words. Vambraces stem from a shortened form of the french term for forearm "avant-bras", hence why vambraces are the name of forearm protection.

[@pwnmeisterage]

I think the definitions and differences depend on which sources are preferred. French armourers didn't universally agree on exactly what "vambraces" were. Other armourers from other countries used other terms. Everybody followed the best of popular/functional patterns but each craftsman imposed his own variations and style. And the armour itself kept evolving, your "vambraces" might be quite unlike the "vambraces" worn by your father.

[@oricalu448]

I just wanna say, Samus's heels in the zero suit are something that was added later. In the concept art and sprite work for Metroid: Zero Mission, her heels are barely there at all, basically just being a regular boot. But for some reason, in the univerally hated Metroid: Other M, and later, smash bros, they gave her ridiculous heels.

[@costby1105]

Blame Tecmo on that one. The concept art for the Zero Suit in Zero mission explicitly says not to give too much height.

[@hanshotfirst6488]

I lost it when Jill's response to the Golden Space Bikini was "At least she gets proper footwear".

[@guardrailbiter]

Jabba the Hut's lair was known to have cold stone floors. So boots were quite necessary. ;-p

[@Missiletainn]

The Zero Suit Samus outfit you looked at was the Smash bros one, in the main games, the heels don't (usually) exist (we ignore Other M here), and in the Concept Art which was released, they even have a section which says "No heels, especially not heels like this *shows heels shorter than the smash bros heels"

[@aionicthunder]

Even in Brawl, where she does have heels, said heels are block heels and, thus, are pretty practical (also, can you link me to an image of zero suit samus like that? Because I tried Zero Mission, but all the images I found cut off before her feet)

[@Missiletainn]

@@aionicthunder Most youtube comments not posted by the uploader of the video are removed automatically by KZbin if they contain links so I'll try to send it in a different comment, if there is no other comment, it was removed.

[@anonymousfellow8879]

…I mean…Sakurai only ever includes and redesigns female fighters for the target male audience to get titilation. (So I delight further when I use Zelda or Peach to kick ‘em in the face or crotch. Put me in a dress? FINE. Watch me slaughter you in revenge.)

[@JillBearup]

Links are automatically held to make sure they aren’t dodgy 😁I usually get to them within a day or two! (Sooner if I have a new video up)

[@andrewkeeler4291]

Personally, I'm a little surprised that Zero Suit Samus didn't fall into "not actually armor" since the powered suit is the armor.

[@Jesse_359]

Riffing off your mention of poorly attached cuisse... Some years ago I was running alongside a friend in a battle when his not-well attached cuisse came unbuckled and slid down over his knee and locked to the top of the greave as he was bringing his leg forward. This turned his entire leg into a rigid vaulting pole - and he was a quite tall man at a dead run. A second later I got to see him flying through the air next to me at my own shoulder height, but completely horizontal. He came crashing down, digging a pretty good trench into the loam with his helmet's faceplate. He was uninjured, but it was seriously funny watching him spend the next minute trying to reorient himself and pull the sod plugs out of his helmet's eye holes. Buckle your armor properly, is what I'm trying to say here. :D

[@kattriella1331]

This- This sounds amazing. I wish I had been able to see this in person. XD

[@Jesse_359]

@@kattriella1331 It was definitely one of the most hilarious armor malfunctions I've had the opportunity to witness.

[@clothar23]

Had something similar happen to me. Except I also lost my helmet in the process. Still have a scar down ths right side of my head for my pains . And I scared several small children who saw me bleeding like a stuck pig. Seriously it's ridiculous how much even a superficial head wound bleeds. And I ruined the fancy engraving on my armour to boot. Had to have the whole suit reworked and a couple pieces outright replaced.

[@Jesse_359]

@@clothar23 Yeah, that's a little worse off. Ouchy.

[@clothar23]

@@Jesse_359 I definitely learned the value of making sure my armour is properly secured. And having someone else check it out before any serious activity.

[@tetsatou2815]

I would also note that despite wearing the Its-Not-Actually-Armor slave dancing getup, Leia does successfully choke the ever loving shit out of one of the most feared crime lords in the galaxy, so I feel like that's a plus.

[@Kai-Xi]

If nothing else, it does provide freedom of movement for all your Hutt strangling needs

[@Lee-zc1qz]

Dressed to humiliate and control her, and she responds by literally strangling the offender to death, ending the biggest slaver on Tatooine. Someone made her biological grandmother and father very, very proud that day.

[@madderandmadder]

She's called Huttslayer in some parts of the galaxy in some of the newer novels (alas, I cannot remember which), and I love that for her.

[@Ghilannugs]

leia for sure put some force power behind that choke I can feel it

[@jetblack99]

Indeed. She's is fetching in the outfit to be sure, but Jabba made the mistake of thinking he could subjugate one of the toughest women in the galaxy by putting her in a bikini. And then she killed him. HAHA. Loser. Leia rules forever.

[@thrownswordpommel7393]

Love how Eowyn's armour is the best here, given that she's wearing a suit made for a man

[@SharmClucas]

You could possibly put Samus in the same category, since in the first game no one knew her gender until the very end and assumed she was male. I think a lot of this problem could be solved by getting women who haven't been drowned in male gaze culture to design more of these costumes. If you look at the difference between female characters in AAA games and female characters in Indie games you can see a hint of what that world would look like. It's pretty cool.

[@mildlifeisatrisk5727]

Quit the bad ass 👑

[@grimlock1471]

@@SharmClucas not a gamer. Which group are you suggesting is better about getting it right?

[@seanheath4492]

@@grimlock1471 Probably indie games. Plenty of cheesecakey goodness to be found in both indie and AAA, though.

[@jasonblalock4429]

@@SharmClucas The Elder Scrolls games are usually good about giving women viable armor which isn't too fanservicey. The only major exception I can think of are the Dark Seducers and, well, it's right there in the name. They're deliberately going for sex appeal. Not to mention working in the service of a complete madman, which can be used to handwave *so much.*

[@TrioSonata]

With how much flipping around, traveling/sleeping on the ground, and straight up seduction killing Xena does, I don't blame her for opting for leather armor. It does not help that she can LITERALLY beat gods and demigods in fights. She has no fucks to give.

[@virginiamooney4105]

I was watching one of your older videos, where you said you were looking forward to getting the qualifications needed to be called an Actor Combatant. And now you introduce yourself as an Actor Combatant! Idk when they happened but look at you go!! Congrats.

[@AndrewD8Red]

"Just stab me NOY" The Irish accent is at once a thing of beauty and a thing of horror.

[@JoshuaKimbrough]

Particularly the Northern Irish/Belfast accent. Dubliners don't sound like her

[@FreakingPlane]

*noye just stab me noye*

[@jimmers123]

Funny thing is I still can't honestly hear it. Just sounds like "stab me now" to me, but that could be due to my Philly accent.

[@lonjohnson5161]

@@JoshuaKimbrough She looks Irish, but I think I heard her mention once that she lives in the UK. Northern Ireland fits that, but in all honesty, I can't really tell. Do you know what the truth is here?

[@JoshuaKimbrough]

@@lonjohnson5161 she's from Belfast, some in the North consider themselves to be in the UK and others see it as occupied land but you know the story behind that already

[@j.schmitt220]

Fun fact: Princess Leia's Slave Costume was an homage to Frank Frazetta (one of the greatest fantasy artists ever). George Lukas was a huge fan of Frazetta and wanted to honor him by putting a typical pose of a Frazetta artwork in his movies. That is why Leia is clinging onto Luke before they swing off Jabba's hovercraft, because it basically looked like an artpiece done by Frazetta. Same goes for the costume. Frazetta would very often and very prominently feature barely clad women in his artwork (as well as barely clad men). To go even one step deeper: Even the artwork for the movie posters (the iconic one were Luke holds his lightsaber aloft) were highly influenced by Frazetta. There you go =)

[@tinyprince]

Shame we didn't get slave bikini Luke. 😩

[@elinquisidorperseverante6835]

@@tinyprince HELL YEAH, GIVE ME THAT!

[@Oliver-Lewis]

"slave costume" not actually armour and i doubt ever intended to be as such

[@paultapping9510]

how did I never know this? Like, I'm aware of Frazetta's work, and it never occured to me Leia's costume was a concious homage.

[@AndyZach]

It's obvious once you point it out. It's probably much the same for Conan the Barbarian and Arnold's outfit.

[@nirestrunk4923]

Soooo happy you added the "Not actually armor" section. I know lots of people who would just argue " stfu this is fantasy, who cares!"- but by adding that section I think it would encourage people to actually think and care about arming their women.

[@k.v.7681]

It always annoys me in games, takes me out of it. The "fantasy" argument is very poor. There is soooo much that can be done for both men and women in terms of armor (I equally despise the bulky over the top male armors. Those aren't pauldrons or gauntlets, they're a month's worth of wordwide steel production...).

[@cedriceric9730]

@@k.v.7681 True 😂😂

[@diamondminer5459]

At the end of the day, it is just fantasy and artists are free to do whatever they want. You can criticize them, but don’t take it too seriously.

[@tonypeppermint5329]

Yeah.

[@anonymousfellow8879]

@@diamondminer5459 NAH. Not when there’s a clear divide: -women are literally naked, have Hit Windows straight to flesh, or Pushup Boob Plate (and still a Hit Window deflecting hits straight to a woman’s sternum) -mine’s worth of Bulky Power Fantasy for men. Even if it’s Light Armor they’re STILL fully covered… *in the same gd universe*

[@JCLeSinge]

Morgana in Excalibur: Yeah, "Not actually armour". She never takes the battlefield and never wears this in combat. Literally just lays about in her tent for the one night she wears this. And do watch Excalibur; armour, swords, jousting, it's great. Aside from the use of aluminium armour, it's hard to find much fault.

[@Valdagast]

Great use of music.

[@AnkhAnanku]

Boorman delivered some truly eerie moments that just stick with you

[@bunhelsingslegacy3549]

Actors like aluminium armour, the armour shop I work for made a suit of armour that would have been 60-70 lbs if it had been steel for the 80-year-old who had to wear it. He was very appreciative of his 20 lb suit of full plate! However, it was finished by the set artists so that nobody could tell it was aluminium.

[@Valdagast]

@@bunhelsingslegacy3549 I would probably also like aluminum armor if I had to wear it and didn't depend on it for protection.

[@MyNameIsBucket]

Still quite impractical for the intended function. Can you imagine the chafing?

[@evat8147]

I definitely agree that the first set of Susan’s armor is better, but there was actually reasoning behind why she has less protection in the second set. She wears the latter when they infiltrate the castle, which is supposed to be a stealth mission, hence the absence of loud metal materials, such as chain mail. If you look closely, none of boys are wearing their normal metal armor either - all the characters switched to quieter leather instead. And I don’t believe that her skirt is actually longer in that outfit, but is unfortunately placed on a shorter mannequin for the picture. But I loved the video, please do more! I really enjoy hearing your experienced thoughts on each set of armor :)

[@TheTaintedWisdom]

14:11 - I appreciate the categorization of Zero Suit Samus as "Not Actually Armor" since it genuinely isn't. I like to think that it's skin-tight because it's meant to act as a bridge between her nerves and the suit. i.e. the Zero Suit reads the electrical signals traveling through her nerves and moves the suit accordingly, rather than moving each plate and piece physically. Sort of like how the Power Armor works in the Fallout universe. However, the rocket shoes are purely a product of the Smash Bros games (much like the emergency pistol acting like an energy whip) she never wore shoes on top of her Zero Suit, let alone _heels_ in a Metroid game.

[@platiuscyndar9017]

Yeah, the zero suit looks like it's intended as an interface. It's as much armor as, say, a gambeson would be as part of a mail armor for instance. It's arguably an integral part of the armor, but it's not THE WHOLE THING. The fact she wears it under her armor also explains why it's skin-tight, as it both has to ensure it doesn't get stuck anywhere and the actual power armor's interior likely is skin-tight as well, to stuff as much weaponry and armor into it as possible.

[@Hyperversum3]

@@platiuscyndar9017 I mean, if I am not wrong, the Zero Suit is also tailor-made for her and nobody could use It. Samus has freaking alien DNA in her body to begin with

[@schwarzerritter5724]

Samus wore heals in Other M. People usually don't bring them up, because all the other dumb things in the game overshadow them.

[@FreelanceGenie]

I think you guys're overthinking it. The Zero Suit isn't armor, or part of her armor. It's underwear. She used to wear a bikini or tight shorts underneath her power suit. The Zero Suit is just her redesigned futuristic looking underwear. I really don't think there's anything more to it.

[@FreelanceGenie]

@@DingDingTheKZbinBuddy Fair enough. For all I know, even though she used to just wear regular underwear under the suit, maybe the devs intended for the redesign to add more lore to her outfit. Who knows?

[@MonkeyWhoWouldBeKing]

so, my thing with Susan's armour is that there are a lot of buckles across her chest and in a high pressure situation, those are just asking to catch the string. best case it fucks up her shot, worst case, that could damage the bow which is her primary weapon atm :S edit: you will see competition archers with a triangle buckled across their chest sometimes. it's a very smooth fabric (with the buckles as far from central as possible) there to help the string slide off if it does hit the chest)

[@dragonfly4874]

One thing to note about Susan's bow is that it's magical. I don't remember if they actually go into it in the movie, but when using that bow she cannot miss her target, this might be a possible explanation for the stupid thrown arrow as they are a set but I doubt it. I also assume the magic properties make it difficult or impossible to damage, along with her horn which bounced around for hundreds of years without being broken, but I don't really know.

[@AnkhAnanku]

The triangle you mention reminds me of something you see in anime when a woman is practicing archery. “Muneate” they call it. For some reason I think of a male version that attaches to a tight sleeve on the bow-arm but the diagrams I see have the guy leaving that exact area bare skin…

[@chrisrudolf9839]

Those triangle pieces are mostly worn by tournament arches who use recurve bows and sometimes also longbows, i.e. bows with a flat string angle, where the string is likely to touch your chest when the bow is fully drawn (with the hand to your face), so you need to make sure it slides away from the chest smoothly and doesn't catch on the fabric. Susan's bow is rather short and thus has a steep string angle when fully drawn, it should normally not touch the chest.

[@MonkeyWhoWouldBeKing]

@@chrisrudolf9839 this is true. its maybe not quite a horse bow but still, i think that many buckles are still pushing it xD

[@trexrising4097]

Wow, I was pleasantly surprised by this video. I thought it would just be a typical "sexy out-fit bad" video like so many I've come across before. But you didn't write them off completely, and even offered thoughtful and informative criticism for even the more armored outfits. You just earned yourself a subscriber. Looking forward to more of your content.

[@ezradlionel711]

It isn't? Samus can roll herself into a ball but the zero suit isn't some "alien alloy"? I wanted to sub because she does seem insightful but some of the critiques just feel petty and based more on whether she could pull it off rather than if she would wear it.

[@guyanesegal3166]

@@ezradlionel711 She is trying to relate fantasy to real life. Which is why most of her subscribers are radical feminists

[@ezradlionel711]

@@guyanesegal3166 lol. I'm from St. Lucia.

[@insomniagobrrr5542]

@@ezradlionel711 the zero suit is basically high-tech long johns with some USBs

[@sjdess]

Agreed, but it is also fair game to criticize the unneeded sexualisation of female characters where it happens.

[@TJDious]

Asgardian and Amazon armor is like 50% glitz and glam so the silliness doesn't bug me much.

[@metronicmagician1816]

Also with how fantastical the settings are for those areas it’s easily waved off as “fantasy/sci-fi mumbo jumbo” so long as basic ideas aren’t bastardize for looks at least (looking at you justice league amazons).

[@golwenlothlindel]

right... except Sif's outfit there isn't glamorous. I'd have forgiven them for inaccuracies if it at least looked epic, but it looks like they were trying for realism...and then just, failed. It doesn't even look particularly Norse either. Norse women wore these sweet shoulder brooches, often with chains hanging between them. I would have made an upper chest plate that looked something like that. A plate corset thing is...fine. But if you're going to do that, then make the most of it: give her an epic mail dress. Corsets increase the maximum weight of the clothing a woman can wear considerably. She's supposed to be a gosh-darn Valkyrie. Her look is just disappointing, from both an aesthetic and a realism perspective.

[@SobiTheRobot]

Plus they're kind of indestructible to begin with so armor doesn't mean all that much

[@metronicmagician1816]

@@SobiTheRobot I mean not really. For the average Amazon we see them get downed by world war 1 bullets, and for the average Asgard we see them get taken down by the average mundane weapon or device every now and then, and they have their own weapons that are probably built to fight beings as strong as them.

[@golwenlothlindel]

​@@DingDingTheKZbinBuddy eh idk. The main point still stands thoug: her armor wasn't cool enough to justify the impracticality, or practical enough to justify the un-coolness. It also wasn't Norse enough.

[@JeromeTheInvigilator]

With the Dora Milaje armour, I think the implication is that there's meant to be Vibranium weaved into the fabric, removing the need for extra plating. Loved this vid btw

[@ezradlionel711]

But Samus Aran's Zero suit isn't some alien alloy that helps her roll into a ball without breaking her spine? She clearly copped out on that because she has no "spine" and afraid of "blacklash".

[@VGInterviews]

@@ezradlionel711 no it is not, you can't use morph ball when using zero suit, play the games jeez

[@zatoby6705]

@@ezradlionel711 Samus actually becomes pure energy when in the morph ball. Its not just a shell that encases her. Same with her power armor that physically changes her proportions. Her suit is closer to straight up magic rather than hard sci-fi

[@ezradlionel711]

@@VGInterviews You guys certainly have a weird way of agreeing with people. Yeesh.. and I thought I was a contrarian.

[@nahor88]

@@zatoby6705 Nah its still sci-fi; they're just using science from a different universe way, way ahead of anything we're currently capable of. A device that converts our bodies to pure energy and back is theoretically possible.

[@Warriormon87]

I think the reason she is wearing wedge heeled boots, but they make an active effort to hide them in most shots. Is because the character she is playing is supposed to be much taller than she is. Because wonder woman in the comics is 5' 11" and but 5'8" is 95 percentile for women. Meaning wonder woman is far off the chart taller than most women. The wedges are the director's way of making her taller without having to resort to Tom Cruise tricks.

[@notstonks20]

Gal Gadot is already 5' 10", maybe they're going for 6'?

[@Warriormon87]

@@notstonks20 176 cm or 5' 9 1/4" but close enough.

[@Warriormon87]

@@notstonks20 176 cm or 5' 9 1/4" but close enough.

[@Ailieorz]

They also could have just cast someone taller, but of course it's all about the face

[@oxybrightdark8765]

@@Ailieorz they could have hired a shorter actor for wolverine.

[@BeforeBalloons]

Wonder Woman's armor: I'd think the safe assumption would be that the weird scaley material is just Sufficiently Advanced Mail. What bugs me is the random gaps in the plates of her leg armor. They just seem so... unnecessary, and like they're begging for an arrow or dagger to get wedged between them and the soft armor. I also can't help but imagine the little center pointy bits on the segmentation of her waist armor just folding outward as soon as she tries to bend her waist, creating gaps and putting a bunch of hooks on her stomach to snag on... Charmed valkyries: Not familiar with Charmed, but my immediate impression from the pictures is that their culture has decided that bits and pieces of armor are very fashionable decorations, like jewelry. A comparison could be made to camo-pattern clothes and accessories in the casual clothing context of nowadays.

[@jgobea0188]

Ur pfp is creepy asf

[@BeforeBalloons]

@@jgobea0188 cool!

[@francescafrancesca3554]

Didn't thought about the jewelry thing, but makes sense. Thank for sharing it!!

[@tonypeppermint5329]

Huh.

[@anonymousfellow8879]

It’s just cheesecake.

[@JSHADOWM]

14:13 Thats actually the NON-CANON version of the Zero Suit. the actual one has no heels. its also not supposed to be worn alone. its both the under layer of the power suit and it appears to be the interactivity layer between samus and the mobility/weapons systems of her suit: basically the zero suit catches the motion she is doing and feeds it to the servomotors of the 300 kilogram walking tank she pilots in mission, or in the case of her arm cannon reads the gestures she is doing and interprets them to "Switch cannon to Beam/Missile/Grapple mode"

[@Soulferno]

Actually, the rocket boots she wears in Smash are more akin to straight up stilettos. But she does wear a form of heels or I think sort of like platform shoes in the suit normally. You could even argue the power suit has these platform shoe like design to the boots

[@platiuscyndar9017]

@@Soulferno …but at the point where the armor has these boots it's really not that big of a deal anymore. The problem with platform boots and such is usually that you can easily hurt your foot through a wrong step, for instance. If your armor is a 300 kilogram mechanized tank that moves for you, I don't think that that is nearly as big of a problem as the armor likely wouldn't allow such a misstep and even if it did ocurr likely has systems in place to ensure your foot isn't hurt, or can recover easily.

[@Soulferno]

@@platiuscyndar9017 I never said it was an issue. It really doesn't matter to Samus since she's incredibly fit and acrobatic. Enough to where if she wore giant platform shoes they wouldn't even slow her down, it'd just give her extra kicking power

[@platiuscyndar9017]

@@Soulferno Alright, then I missunderstood you, sorry. You're right.

[@AmelpsXett]

nerd

[@vaulthunterfromterra4053]

Samus’ Zero-Suit is more of like an anti-chafing piece for when she’s in her mech. Although, with how advanced it’s supposed to be, I’d imagine it probably has some kind of chemical protection as well as heat/cold/radiation shielding.

[@llewelynshingler2173]

So a space gambeson?

[@mill2712]

I think it could also be cut and stab proof. Probably ballistics as well. We are experimenting with such materials today so it would surprise me if it was perfected by her time.

[@SpikedKirby]

@@llewelynshingler2173 more like space suit undergarments

[@rustkarl]

Nah that’s the Varia Suit’s function.

[@wakrusgumbo]

In fairness to Zero Suit Samus: that's what she wears under her actual armor, right? It's like, mechagambeson.

[@Karak-_-]

I can inagine it being some in-between layer/full body interface designed to be wearable separetedly.

[@archygrey9093]

Yep

[@NL-X]

correct. Her armor is the Chozo Power Suit

[@schwarzerritter5724]

Correct, the zero suit is a plugsuit. It reads her nerve signals and the ret spots on the zero suit are actually where it connects to the power suit. The spots on the back are the main connection, because they are the biggest one. The spots on the chest connect to the life support, because that is where writers think the heart is. Because the hand of the power suit requires more fine dexterity, the left hand has its own plugs. Notice the right hand does not have connectors? It is because the arm cannon has a trigger. You can see Samus moving her finger when using the X-Ray scope. I suppose so she can still shoot, even if the direct connection should fail for some reason. The jet heels are only worn in a joke game.

[@FreelanceGenie]

@@schwarzerritter5724 I'm pretty sure that nothing you said is actually confirmed in game, or by the devs anywhere.

[@HeartlandHunny]

I love everything about this video. One of my biggest pet peeves in Hollywood movies is when they’re all “Ra! Ra! Women Warriors!” But then put them in “armor” where there heart is completely exposed to stabbing! Also, bonus points for understanding that while, sure, Carrie Fisher in a metal bikini definitely moved ticket sales, it was also good storytelling. How do you show this woman you’ve established as confident and composed even in the face of Darth Vader is now in a vulnerable and life-threatening situation? Being stripped of her traditionally modest and diplomatic “armor” shows how powerless she is in this situation. Until she literally uses the chains binding her to kill her captor. Man, OG Leia was cool!

[@rsacchi100]

"That is my least vulnerable spot." - 2 points for knowing the reference.

[@tonypeppermint5329]

Yeah.

[@rory8182]

Loved the bit with the Klingons like it is amazing armour but there is a damn window in it

[@hypothalapotamus5293]

@@rory8182 Contrary to popular belief, Klingons aren't a warrior race. They're just cosplayers pretending to be a warrior race. ^_^ Anyone who disagrees with me needs to explain how, in a galaxy filled with humanoids so strong that they can rip you in half with their bare hands (e.g. Vulcans and Romulans) and handheld devices with the firepower of a 155 mm howitzer, it's a good idea for a roughly human strength species to rush an enemy with knives and questionably functional swords. In comparison, the supposedly peaceful Federation forces are badass. Sure, they have member races that are 3 or 4 times stronger than humans, but they'll just shoot you like professionals.

[@bagelized]

Lmao you do realize that the reason the director had that story implemented in the first place was probably to put her in bikini?

[@thegardenofeatin5965]

Something about the Leia bikini outfit. Years ago, mostly for "She's young and pretty and now you can see a lot of her" reasons I joined a facebook group about this costume, which collated anything from frames of Return of the Jedi to promotional magazine photos for the movie, candids from the set (a notable one was Carrie Fisher and her stunt double, both in costume sunning themselves on the Jabba's Barge set) and various cosplayers in their interpretations of the outfit. And one weird thing stood out to me. In promotional pictures from the 80's with Carrie Fisher in costume, she NEVER had the collar and chain on. Like the shot shown in this video. But it's a detail cosplayers ALWAYS wear. That's one of those weird patterns I tend to notice.

[@kellymartin2603]

Maybe because in the promotional image they tried to make it look like a choice, in order to have more people be interested (read: attracted), whereas the cosplayers that know the context are pretty keen to emphasise (or at least, not de-emphasise) the fact that she was kidnapped and enslaved at the time of wearing it?

[@IMVADER2]

Samus' armor is so badass, and I love that it's stuck in a similar style all these years. Extremely identifiable in terms of character design, and not many things pull off that orange/copper/brass look as well as that armor does. Not the biggest fan of Scifi Armor, but if I had to choose, it would be in my top 2.

[@4wheal]

So what do you think of her new base suite in Dread or even the fusion suit? I'm asking as they go a slightly more organic look and are more blue and white then the normal orange.

[@chrisgaming1286]

Doomslayer armour is the best sci fi armour

[@DerCharacter]

@@chrisgaming1286 For the Doomslayer the praetor armor is the best, in some versions the arms are exposed so that may be a problem in some scenerios if it's a different person wearing it. But it's still a really awesome suit. Especially with all the addons they made in Eternal

[@nesyboi9421]

I like a lot of sci-fi armor, Spartan IIIs and ODSTs from Halo come to mind

[@Zisteau]

A bit surprised you haven't seen Excalibur, given the armor and swordfighting theme of your videos.

[@gordon861]

Just came down here to post the same, it is very much worth seeing and there is a lot of armour.

[@ducklinsenmayer7681]

@@gordon861 And to be fair, Morgan's outfit isn't armor at all, she's a sorceress/ evil fey

[@talefey]

I tried watching Excalibur but, at the beginning of the film, the whole wizard-helps-raider-rape-a-woman-in-front-of-her-daughter-so-that-he-can-kidnap-the-future-offspring-for-the-supposed-greater-good thing was just a bit too much for me.

[@krontaur]

Zisteau in the wild?! XD

[@simontmn]

@@talefey Uther comes to a sticky end, & later on the daughter (Morgana) rapes the offspring (Arthur) too.

[@HD-gz2ge]

God I’m so happy this is a legitimate critique of armor for women, instead of judging who looks the sexiest, or hating on women looking feminine bc of some political thing. It’s helped a lot in learning how these things work, and the differences between armor for men and women, especially when that stuff is in short supply. Great video, 10/10, would recommend.

[@happyjohn354]

The Zero Suit Samus uses is an bodysuit that protects the user incase the armor is breached anywhere below the neck in a vacuum environment... Its not meant to be armor its basically an emergency space suit... Also supposedly it has other life support functions like a Stillsuit from Dune and supposedly has some life support and healing abilities. But with so many variations from the series its hard to keep track...

[@Bluelink13]

Yup! And in the one metroid game you play as Samus in the Zero Suit she is super squishy and dies in a hit. It is very much Not Actual Armor

[@MisterTwit]

Correct me if I'm wrong but I don't think it's even referred to in canon as "Zero Suit", that's just the name given to describe it. I believe it was more kind of a pun between the title Zero Mission and the fact that it's what she wears when she has "zero suit", or "no suit". Essentially it's space underwear.

[@happyjohn354]

@@MisterTwit Basically

[@teddybacon1483]

Also the boots aren’t cannon thank god

[@Soulferno]

@@teddybacon1483 Why would it be a bad thing if they were? Because of the heels? Even though the Zero suit is designed with heels

[@maxithalo7796]

I like that you're still giving some of these the benefit of the doubt, like "it could be magic but it still sucks" lmao

[@beauclausen441]

I went down a google rabbit hole trying to figure out the difference between bracers and vambraces and I am very pleased to learn that I managed to come up with the right answer! Thank you Jill for that explanation, it was much simpler than what I found!

[@maribeld84]

I never thought Carie Fisher's bikini was meant to be armour. That's when she's kidnapped by Jabba the Hut. Isn't she meant to just be eye candy chained to him?

[@vacri54]

You mean you don't like your dancing slave girls to be protected from attack?

[@whiteraven181]

@@vacri54 If your decorative slave girls can't actually act as elite, final-line-of-defense bodyguards what's even the point?

[@SvendleBerries]

@@whiteraven181 "Machinegun jubblies? How'd I miss those, baby?" - Austin Powers

[@destroyerinazuma96]

Yup. Not armour to me either. Though since ppl like to crack joked, when modders made the costume available in the Oblivion videogame, there was a version that counted as light armor and another that counted as clothing. Also channels like Viva la dirt league have repeatedly made fun of what's presented as "armour" in fantasy.

[@fireofdawn3515]

This is why I like the dragon age games- especially origins where male/female armor is the exact same just moulded differently. 2- hawkes armor is the same regardless of male/female it depends mostly on what class (rogue, fighter, mage) and inquisition where each character has culturally and stylistically unique armor based on class and backstory. The inquisitors armor doesn’t change if they are male/female. I enjoy it

[@_zeph]

yes!! while some of the bulkier armors in dao may have looked silly at times, i still appreciate how they didnt change much regardless of whether you're playing a male or female protag. inquisition has probably the best set of armors in the series, but all three champion of kirkwall armors are still amongst my favorite ones. iirc i think it's also in da2 where they introduced different variations of the warden armor for each class, but i could be misremembering.

[@fireofdawn3515]

@@_zeph they did have a variation between male and female in origins and class with a mod I think (made before da2) and da2 has a variation for both carver, stroud, and Bethany and if you did awakening there’s a variation for Nathanial

[@КрышкаОттойкоробки]

YES YES YEEEEEES

[@razielhamalakh9813]

I was worried when you got to Xena, but I'm glad to hear someone acknowledge that she's wearing this _all the time._ In Greece. It's hot and humid. Yeah, the skirt could be longer, but overall I agree with the assessment.

[@KacielNolwen]

I could sit here and listen to Jill talk about armour for literal hours.

[@euansmith3699]

Especially when she says, "Boob Window", it is like listening to Welsh Women saying "Here", or Scottish Woman saying, "Millions"; a thing of beauty.

[@samuelleask1132]

Same

[@ihtfp01]

You're in luck. She does, across a bunch of videos/platforms.

[@ARDIZsq]

Small additional info: Zero Suit Samus isn’t supposed to be wearing any armor, her zero suit is just meant to help her connect to her power suit. Still fits with the rating of Not Armor, just here for a bit of clarification.

[@ezradlionel711]

What's it made of? Obviously the armor is better but more cumbersome. Why wasn't it chalked up to be some alien alloy that could at least absorb some energy weapon fire while increasing mobility plus explain why she can roll into a ball without breaking her spine giving it biological properties as well? It's doubly bothersome when she just glossed over the Dora Milaje who are literally presenting their breasts for vivisection then clowns Samus shoes like that has anything to do with function. In all warfare it's light armor + agility/speed vs slow tank. She just comes off as petty and judging armor by whether she could pull it off regardless of how much she seems to offer objective criticisms. Jill seemed hot at first but just felt like an insecure woman by the end of the video.

[@yamatohime2035]

@@ezradlionel711 If I remember right, Samus is stronger, more agile and faster in actual power armor. However, considering how her power armor is attached to her... It would be impossible to judge as armor and more like biomechanic horror.

[@kellymartin2603]

@@ezradlionel711 'Jill seemed hot at first but just felt like an insecure woman by the end of the video' - just say you don't like hearing women's opinions and just leave it at that.

[@ezradlionel711]

@@kellymartin2603 It has to be an opinion first, for me to not like hearing it

[@IAmBael]

I like how clear it is that you're an actual expert of what constitutes "functional protective gear". If I was rating these, it would just be "I can see skin, this is bad" and "she's clearly fully protected, I can only see her face". 😂

[@andrewbraddock5101]

I'll never be able to suspend my disbelief on any woman doing intense combat/running in heels

[@Eloraurora]

I think someone (maybe Buzzfeed?) did a video a while back testing the viability of running in high heels, where they put an athlete in heels and threw her on a treadmill. It kind of worked, because forefoot striking is a thing, but I don't doubt that any lateral/cutting motion would put you in the hospital in short order.

[@AndrewBlack343]

_Running_ in heals should be relatively easy as you're on your toes to run anyway. How to defeat a woman in heals is to battle her on a slope that she has to move down, she'll either have to crab sideways, overly bend her knees and lean backwards in a "I don't have any ability to maneuver anymore" way, or fall or her nose.

[@adedow1333]

@@Eloraurora can confirm. I actually have the skill of being able to run in heels. It totally shifts the way the feet and legs work, offputs balance to a weird angle, and side-stepping is a thing to be feared unless you are completely prepared for it. And you must be completely sure of your footing at all times. Heaven forfend that one should try this on and actual field with divots in the dirt and soft places for your heels to sink into! Or even (gasp) try moving downhill! Heels are not for combat. Not even a little bit.

[@anonymousfellow8879]

The ONLY woman fighting in heels I can take seriously is Urbosa: short block heels, enclosed toes, ankle straps. And while her clothing is very Stab Me Now -sigh. You would wear lightweight full body fabric in the desert. Why can’t they actually REFERENCE actual arab cultures they’re appropriating with glorified belly dancing costumes?!- she still keeps full mobility and has a decent shield

[@wyrmh0le]

@@Eloraurora So it's as if you were captured and they put these terrible spike-shoes on you to limit your mobility so now you have to try to fight and escape without using your heels. Only you made this choice before walking into battle.

[@LisaGrimm-LG]

I guess the reason why Susan doesn't have her mail in "melee" conditions is because it was supposed to be a stealth mission so they reduced the amount of metal clinging (plus, if you look at Peter and Caspian in that scene, they also don't wear their armour on that mission, so actually Susan in that scene is the most protected of the three). The longer skirt still doesn't make much sense though except for "it looks cool when she flies to the castle" xD

[@JillBearup]

That does make more sense. Still salty about the skirt though 😁

[@Corbald]

@@JillBearup An argument could be made that the skirt was long so that her footsteps would be muffled. If she stepped on a dry stick, the skirt would dampen the snap.

[@ocadioan]

@@Corbald Or she would trip on the skirt and fall head first into a pile of dry sticks. Or her skirt could get snatched on some sticks, and they end up scraping along each other.

[@Corbald]

@@ocadioan I only said an argument could be made, not that it was an especially _good_ argument! 😆

[@tarrker]

Suggests that they didn't have an armorer on hand to consult. The average person would assume that cloth isn't armor at all. Not an unreasonable assumption but, it's simply not true at all. Some of the most comfortable, effective and, quiet armor you can get is just made from cloth. For that matter, what about brigandine? Metal plates suspended in a suit of cloth armor. Layers of cloth can often be impossible to get through and adding steel plates to that makes it even better. :)

[@Yvaelle]

Xena's armor is Pretty Good or I"d Wear It IMO: 1) Xena needs to strike a balance that many others on this list don't. She literally lives in this outfit, every day she wears this same outfit. She didn't buy this armor specifically to go into a battle. She didn't equip more armor expecting a fight today. When you go to bed wearing Pyjamas, Xena's wearing armor. When you put on some comfy exercise clothes, Xena exercises in her armor. You're critiquing her day wear as much as her armor, comfort and fashion both count for Xena where they don't for someone donning armor specifically for a fight. 2) Xena isn't really protected by her armor, she's a demi-god warrior-princess who dices through mortals and superhumans alike. If she dies, it'll be the trickery of a god, or an arrow to her mortal heel. She's shrugged off sword strikes to her bare skin before - so her armor isn't really to stop sword so much as discourage them from trying to hit her. She's sending a message that she's wearing high quality armor, but also that she doesn't need armor, because she's not to be fucked with. 3) Xena's real goal is not to protect herself from an attack, it's to fulfill Gabrielle's Dominatrix fantasy. As a Greek demigod she doesn't really need armor, but she does have an innate superhuman horniness, as all Greek gods did, and that means when she walks into town, she needs every subsmissive lesbian to twirl on their heels and salivate at the sight of her. Where her skin is exposed is intentional - hence her boob window, rollerderby thigh definition, and arms that clearly need no man to open her pickle jars.

[@zSpirall]

...I love xena...

[@godlypineapples]

this comment is pure gold

[@m.dave2141]

So for a mere mortal it's a bad armor right? I heard a good argument in favor of this armor tho and that is that is mixed with vibranium, so that make sense but still, no helmet and no gauntlets, still kinda bad even tho it looks amazing

[@m.dave2141]

Also those neck rings can be easily split appart with most slash/piercing weapons, a hammers would still crush your neck

[@ShinGallon]

Your videos make me constantly re-assess the armor designs for the characters in my comic, which is a good thing. I significantly re-designed my Tabaxi barbarian's chestpiece after a few of your vids (it's still basically a leather sports bra but she's a barbarian, it's in-line with her class stats in D&D which is where she's from and is *technically* not armor) and after this am realizing the cuisse on my generic guard armors is...lacking. I'll probably have to go back and edit some of the comic pages now.

[@webbowser8834]

Yeah, generally when you're going for high mobility "light" armor you're basically looking at very durable clothing as opposed to armor as we traditionally envision it. Loose enough to allow for easy movement but still covers most of the body so that a glancing blow doesn't risk cutting you up.

[@ragnkja]

To see how various parts of a suit of plate armour interact, check out “How to dress in medieval armour” by Modern History TV.

[@ShinGallon]

@@ragnkja I haven't put anyone in the comic in plate armor yet, they all have pretty basic leather armor.

[@DeathnoteBB]

A good solution narratively that keeps you from constantly editing old pages: Just have a scene, or have a character mention, where the Tabaxi character gets new armor.

[@webbowser8834]

@@DeathnoteBB This guy illustrates.

[@CountsDigGraves]

To the tune of "Don't stop me now".

[@rattdonavan]

Omfg 😂😂🐁🐀

[@mrtalos]

Tonight I'm gonna have myself a real good time I feel alive And the world I'll turn it inside out, yeah I'm floating around in ecstasy So, (don't stab me now) (Don't stab me) 'Cause I'm having a good time, having a good time I'm a shooting star leaping through the sky Like a tiger defying the laws of gravity I'm a racing car passing by like Lady Godiva I'm gonna go, go, go There's no stabbing me I'm burnin' through the sky, yeah 200 degrees That's why they call me Mrs Fahrenheit I'm travelling at the speed of light I wanna make a supersonic girl out of you I'm having such a good time I'm having a ball (Don't stab me now) If you wanna have a good time just give me a call (Don't stab me now) 'Cause I'm having a good time (Don't stab me now) Yes, I'm havin' a good time I don't want to stab at all Yeah, I'm a rocket ship on my way to Mars On a collision course I am a satellite I'm out of control I am a sex machine ready to reload Like an atom bomb about to Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, explode I'm burnin' through the sky, yeah 200 degrees That's why they call me Mrs Fahrenheit I'm travelling at the speed of light I wanna make a supersonic guy of you Don't stab me, don't stab me Don't stab me, hey, hey, hey Don't stab me, don't stab me Ooh, ooh, ooh, I like it Don't stab me, don't stab me Have a good time, good time Don't stab me, don't stab me, ah Let loose, honey, all right Oh, I'm burnin' through the sky, yeah 200 degrees That's why they call me Mrs Fahrenheit I'm travelling at the speed of light I wanna make a supersonic girl out of you I'm having such a good time I'm having a ball (Don't stab me now) If you wanna have a good time (alright) Just give me a call (Don't stab me now) 'Cause I'm having a good time (Don't stab me now) Yes, I'm havin' a good time I don't want to stab at all La-da-da-da-dah Da-da-da-ha Ha-da-da, ha-ha-ha Ha-da-da, ha-da-da-ah

[@maxithalo7796]

"I'm having such a good fight, I'm having a bal- HUH!" *gets stabbed and dies*

[@AFLoneWolf]

@mrtalos Pure. Poetry.

[@mrtalos]

@@AFLoneWolf Thanks, is just copy paste and change a handful of words, but it needed to be done for such a good idea

[@Amadeo790]

Zero suit Samus Jump suit was never meant to be used in combat so the “it’s not armor” is a very obvious choice. In fact, the only time I remember were you okay with it is in a survival stealth segment we’re anything can one shot you.

[@glenmurie]

I’d love to see you do one on Games Workshop miniatures female armor. Someone there may be watching your channel, because initially their female Stormcast Eternals had wedges, and the newer models like Yndrasta have real boots.

[@GundamReviver]

Pretty sure the sisters of battle stuff would also be an interesting subject for discussion

[@parjai97]

@@GundamReviver dark eldar is.... well...

[@ianpage2509]

@@parjai97 they are vampiric. I know because my friend plays them.

[@parjai97]

@@ianpage2509 i was referring to the worst 40k armour

[@magoshighlands4074]

@@parjai97 Well they ate a bunch of drugged up sadist murder cultsits, so you can't really expect sense or reason to come jntobtueir desiccant making process

[@artifexi3570]

Eowyn and Susan are legends 😚👌🏻✨

[@EMBer3000]

One fanfic set in the Star Trek universe I read actually had a bit of an explanation for the boob window on female klingon armour. In the games, there are personal shields, and this was reflected in this story so that hole in the armour was covered by the energy shielding from long-range attacks, thus making it slightly less bad. But the real genius came from one of the fight scenes where an alien warrior tried to capitalise on the gap in the armour and was immediately disarmed and beheaded, it seems that female klingons use that gap as a lure for both male klingons and other races and are taught a version of martial arts that has specific counters set up for attacks directed at that spot. This martial arts technique is seemingly so effective that the alpha quadrant races have just given up and just teach people to attack anything else, instead of aiming for that gap so as to not have them be defeated in a humiliating way. Oh, and the boob window has another use. It makes klingon males easily influenced during negotiations... kind of like us human males are by a bit of cleavage.

[@farwunderwmn]

My fiancé loves to show me armor in games he plays and as many times as he's said "this one isn't so bad!" I've pointed out either heels of some variation or a breast plate that would 100% just direct a crushing blow straight to the sternum instead of glancing it off and I think he's getting kind of desperate to find armor I would agree is reasonable lol

[@Ghilannugs]

You should check out Dragon Age (Inquisition) armor that should have armors to love and hate in every variety

[@farwunderwmn]

@@Ghilannugs i LOVE that game. And I found the armor to be pretty darn good in it in an overall sense. Even the bondage-esque Qunari armor or the Avvar mud-for-armor was at least identical for male and female protagonists, and gave off the vibe of "if you think I look unprotected, then you're in stabbing range" rather than "this is for the sole purpose of sexi"

[@Ghilannugs]

@@farwunderwmn Yeah Inquisition is pretty great when it comes to armor. Less so in the first dragon age game but they devs even made a dialogue to laugh at the stupidity of boob armor etc. If I had to make a complaint about the armors its that they seem a bit too tight on the body

[@annekekramer3835]

You know, the problem is eye candy. Especially when I play a video game, I really don't care about realism. I mean, I walk around with a flaming sword while a mage shoots iceblasts at me. If those high heels look good on my character, I don't mind that's it's not realistic ;-)

[@epicgamer-ny4fj]

Armour designers: "but how will they know their gender with out giving the armour itself boobs????"

[@JujYFru1T]

"nothing with wedge heel boots can go in the top tier" yes. thank you. "they have rockets in the heels Jill!!" "I don't care, they're *ugly*" oh my GOD I feel SO VINDICATED in my dislike of Samus's Smash heels

[@technoturnovers7072]

when I saw that render, my FIRST thought was, "why the fuck are they YELLOW?" and then when I read that they were supposed to be rockets, I then thought, "okay, but why is it not connected to the rest of the boots, if it were rockets it needs structural support, that stiletto shit can break off."

[@1sdani]

Zero suit with heels wasn't okay when they were wedges in Other M, them becoming rocket stilettos only serves to confirm the dev has zero clue how heels and/or rockets work.

[@diamondminer5459]

I didn’t think they were that bad. Something about the shape and color actually works for me.

[@tyree9055]

I'm a guy and I'd wear the ridiculous high heels just for the ROCKET BOOTS! 🤣👍 Cool gadgets! 🥰

[@donanthebarbarian5177]

@@tyree9055 I'm in a similar position, I wouldn't be caught dead wearing them, but like at the same time I would *ABSOLUTELY* wear them because rocket boots! I'd wear them all the time so long as no one ever saw and recognized me while wearing them, but if there's a chance someone would see and recognize me in them just kill me now, preferably in a manner that renders my body unrecognizable.

[@AgFalcon84]

Oh lord. Word of advice: never play the Monster Hunter series. The male Hunters get lovely protective armor and the lady hunters get... flesh gaps in the inner thighs, boob windows, bare midriffs... for fighting large aggressive creatures with multiple stabby bits and very sharp teeth and claws that can spit fire and acid and just NO.

[@КрышкаОттойкоробки]

Japanese RPG, what do you want......

[@AgFalcon84]

@@КрышкаОттойкоробки What do I want? At least equal opportunity fan-service? Or is it too much to ask to treat the women characters with the same respect as the men?

[@opano4116]

@@AgFalcon84 i guess it depends on the specific anime, ive seen some with alot of man meat hanging out jojo's pillar men for example

[@seasnaill2589]

@@AgFalcon84 I, for one, am all for equal opportunity fanservice. Boob/pec windows and midriffs for all genders!

[@marcusaaronliaogo9158]

@@AgFalcon84 kirin male armor be like

[@TrogdorBurnin8or]

Xena is set either sometimes before 600BCE (when the first Heracles epics were written), or depending on which part of canon you believe, in 100BCE to 0. You can speculate about the effectiveness and prevalence of Iron Age armor, in an era when a lot of people were still fighting with bronze because primitive-forged iron wasn't especially durable or workable. From a Quora answer entitled "Why are Roman legions famous for using short bronze swords even though the entire history of ancient Rome sits firmly in the Iron Age?", the following is mentioned: "For many, many centuries after the Iron Age began, iron foundries had two important limitations that bronze foundries did not: 1) They could not produce sheets of iron except at stupendous expense, and 2) They could not cast iron. ... For things made of a large sheet of metal - breastplates, one-piece helmets, shield facings, greaves, things like that - bronze was the only realistic game in town for a long time even after the “Iron Age” had begun. The Greeks of the Persian Wars, fighting three hundred years into the Iron Age, had their spear heads, swords, and daggers made from iron, but their helmets, greaves, shield facings (for those who had them), and corselets - all the big metal implements - were made of bronze. And this state of affairs would continue for centuries more."

[@idrisa7909]

Xena also has a much more practical armor set that's black

[@BalooSJ]

Regarding the time period of Xena: Xena has met both Abraham and Julius Caesar. Strict chronology was not a priority on that show.

[@patrickmccurry1563]

@@BalooSJ I was going to say... It started solidly in the supposed bronze age, but wandered all over the iron age.

[@maddie9602]

You know, I hadn't thought of that, but that does make sense why bronze armor was still being used until well into the age of Rome -- and notably, even then iron armor tended to be made up of smaller pieces linked together, as in _lorica segmentata_ (the iconic segmented plate that is probably the armor most widely associated with the Roman Legion) and _lorica squamata_ (scale armor, also widely associated with the Byzantines -- I think that the arm and leg pieces of Wonder Woman's gold armor is supposed to be this style).

[@JB-xl2jc]

Bronze is actually superior to even decent iron. It isn't until we get into steel that bronze is surpassed in terms of quality. The reason iron was such am advancement was how much more readily available it was- you didn't need to source copper or tin which are FAR more rare, and 10,000 troops in Iron will utterly trounce 500 with bronze and 9500 with leather/wooden/etc etc. Bronze is harder, more durable, more rust resistant, and for weapons it even holds an edge better. The advantages of iron were purely economic and availability-based. Once we get to steel though, even more primitive steels, all bets are off.

[@otakuribo]

Only gripe I've ever had with Samus' armor is that the Arm Cannon goes over her whole arm, meaning she can't use her right hand for anything else. Though i suppose it comes with the benefit of never losing or dropping your weapon in combat.

[@Solusphere]

At least in some depictions, the end of the barrel can fold out into a little four fingered pincer thing, which at least lets her grab things with that arm, though I doubt it has much in the way of manual dexterity.

[@Ineedgames]

One of the old designs had it as a wrist cannon that can form over her hand when shooting.

[@maddie9602]

Yeah, a lot of sci-fi/fantasy properties have weapons like that, and I always think they look silly and far less practical than just _carrying the weapon._

[@0sm1um76]

"Why do you need a right hand when you have a missile launcher?" - Samus probably

[@UltaFlame]

She appears to be left handed, or at least ambidextrous. She uses the cannon for all of her fighting. I'm more curious about how her hand and arm fit into it without getting vaporized by the beams she uses. Missiles take up space, so where is her arm then...?

[@HiltownJoe]

When it comes to the Klingons I would address two points. One, the Klingons are not exaclty egalitarian. So while being wariorish, the women are not warriors and not equal to men. The other point is hubris. It would suit a klingon well to intentionally wear less armor to basically show off that they need less protection in a battle because they are such fierce warriors. Quite frankly I am surprised that some of them don't go into battle naked just to humiliate their opponents.

[@alexanderhenry9831]

Lursa and B'etor are not warriors, and klingon society is not egalitarian... but it's misleading to imply that klingon society considers 'warrior' and 'woman' to be mutually exclusive. Women make up a measurable portion of most of the Klingon crews we see, and it seems like full tunic vs. cleavage armor is on the same level of personal choice as the bare arms, furred sleeves, or armored sleeves.

[@johannageisel5390]

Eh, I would just have put their outfits into the "not actually armour" category. It's fashion designed to give the implication of armour, because militarism is en vogue in their society, but it's not actually supposed to be worn into battle. There are historical examples on Earth too: Women who have taken the style of men's riding outfits or military uniforms and transferred them onto women's clothing without intending to join the cavalry. It's just fashion.

[@mooby1721]

"You've got so many places where you can just stab us, but it's ok because Ive got this one pauldron." "And mine's a scale one!" Thank you for the hearty laugh!

[@kevinbryer2425]

May I humbly petition that the "not actually armor" category be retitled "weapons of mass distraction"?

[@danielleklein5594]

😆 I SECOND THIS!

[@Duiker36]

It's not really a distraction when it's pointing at the massive vulnerability and optimal target for efficient murder.

[@kevinbryer2425]

@@Duiker36 Yeah, but like a tactical retreat, the purpose of the vulnerability is to get ones opponent thinking about something other than efficient murder.

[@langletprolet8378]

@@kevinbryer2425 Ah, yes. “Something other”, like lust... which could also lead to something worse. It’s interesting concept though not sure how effective it is, since I’ve never seen an IRL unstaged fight with women wearing these fantasy skimpy outfits lol

[@onethousandwords]

8:42 Ha ha, your exceptional effort to not be horrified is hilarious. This was so enjoyable. I've never seen armor costumes broken down with this much detail and it was fun to watch, too! Happy to have found you!

[@FreakingPlane]

I hate when people say it's 'armour' but.... IT ONLY COVERS THEIR UPPER CHEST like ik they need protecting but whyyyyyy

[@florbfnarb7099]

Lots of armor only covers part of the body.

[@Duiker36]

@@florbfnarb7099 This is kinda the same mistake that a lot of people make when doing weapon-versus-weapon comparisons. Like weapons, armor exists as a system. (Indeed, weapon+armor is a larger system.) If you're wielding a kite shield in your offhand, then you may very reasonably drop the vambrace on that arm because if something's coming through the shield, it's probably gonna punch through all the way. (There's still an argument to wear it anyways: more layers is always better protection, and redundancy is always a win: but it's reasonable.) It makes sense for you to drop all leg armor if you're a mecha-suit pilot whose lower-half is inside a giant robot but still have an exposed top, but cutting at someone's feet is basically Fighting 102, so either you're relying on pure mobility to save them or you cover that up.

[@florbfnarb7099]

@@Duiker36 - Yeah. I mean, historically, most soldiers have only armored parts of their body, usually the upper torso and head. Greek hoplites had a bronze breastplate, bronze greaves on their forearms, shin guards, a helmet, and a leather fringed skirt; their legs and arms were certainly not encased in full armor like a 13th century European knight. Roman legionary infantrymen were similarly only partially armored. I was an infantryman some 15 years ago, and I too was only partially armored: body armor that had soft Kevlar plates, hard E-SAPI plates for my torso, a hard helmet, and basically a Kevlar nutflap in the front to protect the boys from shrapnel. Full coverage by armor is relatively rare historically, and I don’t expect it to come back until somebody fulfills Tony Stark’s promise and gives us powered armor.

[@webbowser8834]

I'd also like to contribute to this conversation by stating that there is a SIGNIFICANT difference between lightly covered and bare skin. A proper suit of armor should have fairly limited bare skin, but that doesn't mean you should be covered from head to toe in metal either. Some durable clothing underneath your metal armor can make a world of difference.

[@ragnkja]

@@webbowser8834 Even full plate armour had areas that weren’t completely covered by metal plates, but they’d either be protected by the saddle, shield or lance, or have maille voiders there. For example, suits of armour that were meant for mounted combat only typically didn’t have anything at the back of the thighs, since there’s no way to hit a rider there without going through the thighs or the horse.

[@josephgraney1928]

I just want to throw out that while Klingons are a warrior race, we see them wearing "armor" all the time when they aren't in combat nor really expect to be in battle any time soon. Furthermore, armor isn't all that useful in a world with phasers, disruptors, and blades made out of "composite baakonite" which just seem to cut through the supposed "armor" no matter what. This leads me to conclude that Lursa and B'ettor's "armor" is essentially a cultural relic, like the gorget of 18th century military officers. As such, the giant chest opening doesn't actually matter because it's not really intended to be practical for defense.

[@Xondar11223344]

@@Kenionatus Totally in character for Lursa and B'Etor, as they're noblewomen from a dishonourable house. Totally out of character for other Kilingon women, who do *not* wear armour like that at all.

[@tarrker]

You are correct! The armor worn by Klingon warriors is somewhat symbolic. Two, different engineering books as well as several games state that Klingon "armor" is actually a cloth that can absorb standard phaser fire as well as deflect melee attacks. Although, that doesn't seem to be the case when watching the shows or movies. Either way, Lursa and B'etor are stand outs. As heads of their houses they can kinda do whatever they want so they just wear their own "armor". LoL :)

[@kevincrady2831]

On the other hand, Klingons fight with stabby/slashy melee weapons (bat'leths and swords) all. the. time, so their armor should still be functional. OTOH, they all seem to be pretty eager to get to -Valhalla- Stovokor, and weapon and armor practicality doesn't appear to be very high on their priority list.

[@superslash7254]

@@kevincrady2831 Lursa and B'Etor in particular however are portrayed as underhanded, dishonorable, and using their sexuality to try and throw people off by putting them off balance or manipulating them. Makes perfect sense that they would wear something ridiculous for combat but perfect for their political tactics.

[@kevincrady2831]

@@superslash7254 True.

[@taitano12]

"Just stab me now" was the whole point of Klingon female armor. Stab being both euphemistic and literal.

[@spychopath]

I think the Klingon womens' "armour" actually belongs in the "not armour" category. Klingon men stabby stabby each other in bar fights, Klingon women's outfits are meant more to look appealing without making them look totally unprotected. And remember, if you are able to stab them in the heart... they've still got the other heart.

[@euansmith3699]

It could be a fun bit of world building to have Klingons' ribcages be pretty much fused, with a really thick sternum; making their chest basically stab proof.

[@dembones5005]

It definitely falls into the 'not actually armor' or 'stab me now' category when worn in that style. We see in TNG and DS9 that female Klingons going into battle wear the exact same armor as the males.

[@anonymousfellow8879]

It’s a warrior race. You don’t wear that much metal UNLESS it’s “armor” since that ain’t jewelry. Jill got it right.

[@patrickmccurry1563]

Klingons aren't really a sensible warrior race though. They're an ego-driven one up man ship style. So leaving weird gaps in clothing could be argued as confidently daring enemies to just "try it, punk".

[@MichaelRainey]

@@euansmith3699 It pretty much is. In The Undiscovered Country, Doctor McCoy has to beat very hard on the Chancellor's chest during CPR because of how rigid a Klingon's ribcage is compared to a human's. Standard human CPR just isn't effective on a Klingon. In the Deep Space 9 episode where Worf's brother Kurn wants to commit suicide, he bares his chest for his brother to stab him and we see that a Klingon's sternum is thickly plated and ridged like their skulls. We'll just attribute the smooth sternum of the women to sexual dimorphism.

[@christianschwietzke8959]

I watched Excalibur, and "Not Actually Armor" is right for Morgana´s outfit. I have *NO IDEA* why she´s wearing metal to begin with, seeing as she never actually does any fighting. But then, that is also the movie where a character has sex while wearing full plate armor (presumably minus the codpiece)...

[@TheAzureGhost]

Haven't seen the movie myself but from all i know about sagas and myth on those characters Iron is supposed to hinder magic and be harmful to fey..... so why is morgana wearing it? does she want to show that she is strong enough to wear metal on her skin?

[@simontmn]

@@TheAzureGhost Given what happens to her the one time she wears it...

[@christianschwietzke8959]

I wouldn´t read too much into that. All the knights are wearing full plate armor, around 800 years before full plate armo actually became a thing - and they´re wearing it ALL THE TIME, like it´s jeans and a t-shirt, not 50-ish pounds of steel. Morgana´s outfit is just supposed to look cool.

[@simontmn]

@@christianschwietzke8959 I guess she could have been wearing it to fashionably evoke armour, given that her army was about to go into battle, without it actually being armour. I think it was out-of-universe intended to look cool and also show some flesh, making her eventual fate more horrid.

[@Jauhl1]

I mean you answer your own question, it's a cool outfit, she is a princess and sorceress she is not fighting anything. Much like high ranking male lords commonly had extravagant get ups, they are meant to be seen and admired. If your king ends up beaten to a pulp you have much larger concerns than the combat efficiency of his armor.

[@fluffisaurus7090]

A reminder that important characters also have plot armor, so they are protected regardless of what they are wearing.

[@davidjunk6117]

Looking at it now the Xena 'armour' seems so much more like 'outfit to fight in' instead of 'outfit that'll protect me from injury by others. Like the boots...great for footwork and kneeing someone but not for sword strikes.

[@brownhairedkid1]

Also I get the impression it's set in fantasy Ancient Greece? If she's traveling around in this she's considerably more protected than your average (real) ancient Greek male traveller, who thought "nude with boots, cloak, sunhat and weapon" was practical travelling gear. They packed light, is what I'm saying.

[@claeshorsmann8140]

Fluff-wise, I would argue that Xena sits firmly in the 'Not really armour' category, because Xena does not need armour. She's tough as nails. I'm talking "Chuck Norris would aspire to be her, if he were a lady" levels of toughness. Ahem. Xena fanboi out.

[@ImpudentInfidel]

By the standards of Xena's own show her armor is so heavy and practical it looks out of place. It's a setting where women wear halter tops and men don't own shirts.

[@davidjunk6117]

@@claeshorsmann8140 perhaps the civilization is undergoing some sort of fabric shortage. Hence men go shirtless and women's clothes are minimal or diaphanous.

[@ZEDEX252]

Oh heck yeah. Now this is the content i've been waiting for

[@Centuries_of_Nope]

I like how this is less of a demonization video and more of a design principle video. Obviously the "fantasy" material doesn't work, but that doesn't mean there aren't components that can be looked a critically. There is also plenty of armor that looks like it would work just fine, but in reality, is terrible. My only criticism is with zero suit Samus. Her outfit is that way for legitimate reasons. The shoes though, yes, can't stand them. They should be combat boots if anything.

[@RoMaKra]

This struck a perfect balance between hilarious and informative. I appreciate how meticulous you are with every detail that needs to be mentioned. I say "needs to" because as much as I thoroughly enjoyed the longer reviews, the ridiculously brief ones were just as entertaining and informative! It was genuinely therapeutic to hear you decry battle wedges.

[@ezradlionel711]

Is that why she glossed over the Dora Milaje's armor? But didn't take 2 seconds to analyze Samus Aran's zero suit?

[@DapperMudkip]

Samus’ power suit is like my favorite design for female armor. Unique, functional, evokes strength, but still compliments her figure and has a sense of grace. It’s a really interesting balance.

[@knightbot4052]

It's increasingly fascinating because 99% of female armor is visually structured to accentuate the chest, the hips or the legs. Samus' suit, however, has a silhouette closer to the more traditionally masculine "dorito" body shape with massive built shoulders that taper down to the waist. And yet it's still curvy and elegant. It evokes both the female form AND the more physically imposing, broad shouldered design, a choice that contrasts HEAVILY with the trend in media of making a women's arms and shoulders as slender as possible, even in armor.

[@tehuselessguig3138]

the other m one is fugly tho, but the prime/samus returns/SM/dread ones are pretty sweet !

[@gilgamesh310]

Her armour in Metroid Dread is especially awesome. It shows her feminine curves and sexy hipsway but is also intimidating.

[@jasonblalock4429]

​@@knightbot4052 Although that's not the original design. In Metroid 1, the suit was more streamlined, and only a bit top-heavy. The gigantic shoulders didn't come about until Metroid 2, specifically because they needed a way to visually distinguish her suit upgrades on a black-and-white screen. Then that look stuck around, probably since it did make for such a distinctive silhouette. And if you want to see something really weird, look up her suit design for the Zebes Invasion Order gamebook. It's heavily Sentai-influenced, and for some reason she has utterly insane shoulder pieces that look like the Sydney Opera house.

[@ariwl1]

It's great how unique Samus' suit is to her since Power Armor is not an unusual thing in her universe. You'd frequently see Federation Forces agents wearing their own style of armor that looks way bulkier and cobbled together. It ties in with how her suit is supposed to connected to her on such a level that no one else could use it.

[@squamish4244]

Noblemen used to fight in high heels in 17th Century duels. But they were both wearing them so they were both disadvantaged lol

[@IT_217]

"We have some ingredients of dubious quality and they're put together in a way that suggests that there wasn't really a clear idea of what to do with them" is a description that fits the entire film and not just the armour in 'In The Name of The King'. Despite how blatantly terrible it is, I have a fondness for it and for a while it was one of my most wached films. it's just such a silly guilty pleasure. How did that get that cast to make that film?

[@Duiker36]

With money, usually.

[@ImAlsoMerobiba]

@@Duiker36 money, you say ? I need to get some money.

[@bemasaberwyn55]

To be fair Ian......it's Uwe Bole. When tf does he do stuff that's logical

[@rabbit-exe3606]

I'd love to see Jill look at some of the armour sets in the Dark Souls games. Of course, there's a lot of them, so we'd have to stick to the best and worst of the lot, but I would very much like to see her examine Smough's bonkers armour set.

[@arellajardin8188]

Nah. Catarina armor. Onion Knights, assemble! Now that I think about, the series has some “sexy women armor” which isn’t practical, or armor. But at least they let the male characters look just as silly/sexy. I’m looking at you, male character in Desert Sorceress set.

[@Duiker36]

I feel like, at that point, fans need to start compiling images for her and putting them on a website for her to look at.

[@Ghilannugs]

@@Duiker36 I also thought of dark souls (and dragon age) armors, and yeah would probably have to do exactly that

[@carlub3369]

yes that would be cool some armors are even pretty reasonable to wear. like the knight armor

[@ladynightingale17]

Yes! This!

[@kejtov]

12:30 I'd like to think the Klingon sisters designed thier armor to in fact be invitingly stabby, sort of like a "come and get me if you can" kind of statement. I think that works with their characters.

[@bunhelsingslegacy3549]

"If this is a leather outfit you're going to wear every day, it's not the same as a full suit of plate." AMEN, sister. I fight with steel blades in plate mail and even though mine IS modified for my small stature (we used the standard elbow cop pattern for my knees and made a custom itty bitty elbow pattern just for me), it's still almost half my body weight when I add the helm. There are reasons I don't wear it everywhere, nevermind that my knees won't appreciate the extra 30 kg when I'm out gardening... The gorget is restrictive, I can personally confirm that swinging a hammer while your arm is in plate mail gets tiring pretty fast when you make armour while wearing armour, the breastplate is still a bit wide for my stupid-narrow shoulders so I actually can't use a two-handed sword (I generally fight sword and shield or two swords anyway) and I'd ruin a car seat if I tried to drive in it. If I were going to select something for all the time everyday armour for like if I were on a D&D campaign, chain shirt would be the thing. People did that for what, thousands of years? But I WAS inspired by Xena's skirt, so I have a leather skirt like Xena's instead of tassets (which not only offers my otherwise unarmoured butt a small amount of protection but also does help with the dex penalty to stealth rolls, tassets are probably the loudest part of any of hte armours I've fought against). I also have worn and do own some fantasy armour. Boob plate is cute for parties and dress-up, but generally annoying, especially near the sideboob/armpit/shoulder area if it's a full bustier/corset thing, I'd seriously hurt myself if I tried to use a sword in mine... And for just plain old boob cup metal bikini things, well, breasts become an engineering problem, and it's really difficult to get floating boob cups to sit correctly to support the breast instead of squishing it or digging into the ribcage, without either ridiculous amounts of padding under the boob (think, super push-up cups) or having the boob cup attached to about a hand-sized piece of metal that conforms to the ribcage underneath the breast just to the outside (think if you have your hands on your hips and then just slide them up your sides until your fingers come just under the breast, yeah, right there). Without that piece, we have found that boob cups tend to tilt in at the top and let the breast fall rather unfetchingly out the bottom unless they're strapped on so tight under the breast that they're uncomfortable.

[@Ultraelectromagnetic]

One of my favorite from recent memory is Brienne of Tarth from GoT - especially the first set of armor we see her in (the gold and blue one): plate armor that covers all of her upper body over a mail shirt and a long gambeson (which at least covers her upper legs) plus greaves protecting her lower legs. She's even wearing a closed helmet in her first appearance!

[@SidheKnight]

Re: Xena's armor: Other than the exposed neck/upper chest, I don't think it's that bad. That's because I compare it more with Greek hoplite or early Roman armor than, say, what a medieval knight would wear. All it's missing is a shield.

[@pwnorbepwned]

Fun fact about Eowyn’s armor. In the books, she’s visually depicted in a helmet and some sort of chain Mail underwear that really shows off her butt. But it’s still supposed to be young men’s armor, so this has led to many insinuations by fans that the men of the Rohirrim all dress in booty chainmail. Also, Eowyn is based on a legendary viking woman named Hervor the Strange Creature, she was a berserker who wielded a cursed sword called Tyrfing, and was unstoppable in battle while still being into stuff like dancing and knitting in her downtime. This has absolutely nothing to do with the video, I just saw an opportunity to give a shout-out to an awesome character who gets zero representation in media, and I bet she wore decent armor. (Not sure why Leia’s bikini made it into the list. Yeah, it’s not actually armor, but you’re the first person I’ve ever heard talk about it as if it’s supposed to be.)

[@jemiebridges3197]

Because their is an entire trope around it. It existed before, but Fisher wearing it turned it into mainstream fetish fuel.

[@garrick3727]

I don't see anything in The Two Towers and the Return of the King about Eowyn having her butt on display. She's meant to be in disguise, and a woman's butt is usually very distinguishable from a boy's. Also, since the Rohirrim are primarily cavalry, I doubt they would be wearing butt-clinging chainmail as that would make sitting on a horse or getting on/off said horse more difficult. Tolkien does not actually describe much other than landscapes, which allows people to invent their own imagery. It's a blessing and a curse.

[@tarrker]

Leia's bikini made it into the list because the list comes from fan suggestions. This video is probably just all the stuff that was suggested the most by her fans. Also, thanks for the shoutout to Hervor and the bootymail. I'd completely forgotten about both. :)

[@duskflower8825]

@@garrick3727 It's a misnomer to say 'in the books'. Really, it's in some of the retro artwork associated with the book by pervert artists. Tolkien describes her wearing ordinary armor that makes her blend in with the men (he doesn't sexualize his female characters).

[@notyou2353]

The Rohirrim are horsemen. They need their ass cheeks and some of their thighs to be absent metal because damn does it get uncomfortable riding when sitting on solid metal for hours on end.

[@AndrewD8Red]

I do object that Jill picked Lursa and B'etor as Klingon warrior armour. They don't fight, they aren't warriors and we've seen Klingon women who are actual warriors wearing armour without a boobwindow.

[@Valdagast]

This was a Patreon assignment, so you should blame us and become a Patreon so you can give her better armour to look at the next time she does.

[@AndrewD8Red]

@@Valdagast You make a persuasive argument... Damnit, I'm in.

[@Custodianx]

Also Klingons do arm wrestling with knives sticking up to stab the losers hands, I am pretty sure they are not worried about being stabbed.

[@MasterGhostf]

@@Custodianx Also. I'm pretty sure the klingon women would do a boobwindow anyways to show off their assets. Klingon culture is very gungho and aggressive, from males to females. Where everything is a competition I bet the klingon women would be showing off their assets to other women, like the men fight with other men to acquire status.

[@SinfullyHera]

First minute I fell in love with this woman, I’m a sucker for history and historical accuracy in movies when it comes to armour, the use of hauberks, chaises etc. and even some male actors wear very questionable armour, seeing a woman so invested and knowledgable about this topic is absolutely brilliant

[@SinfullyHera]

Ah bugger, chausses, not chaises, thanks auto correct.

[@supermaster2012]

I'm not a big fan of YT shorts so a full length Jill video is always reason for celebration. Also, I'll never get tired of that accent.

[@meganjaime7728]

Yes! A Susan Pevensie mention! Narnia is my absolute favorite. I love the books and the movies were perfect for me. I always loved the costume design and how they designed all the armor. I feel like it’s skipped over a lot when people talk about fantasy armor, armor, swordplay etc. which always bums me out. Anyways all that to say, thank you for mentioning Narnia!😄😁

[@jongkittae]

i'm so late to the party but 1000% would love watching you dissect fights from charmed omg

[@voxorox]

8:28 You could stab anywhere across her chest and that plate would actually deflect it INTO the fatal parts.

[@Amadrath]

The armor of female Klingons usually resembles the male one a great deal, including a covered chest. The armor worn by Lursa and B'etor is not typical. I would argue, that the armor is revealing a vital target on purpose, to taunt the opponent and to demonstrate bravery. As Lursa and B'ethor are politicians, that might be a more important function, than actual protection.

[@user-mn8lz7gf6d]

the black panther female armor is like 2% armor. Considering they're facing guns and lots of spears, they might as well wear underarmor shirts, those at least have "armor" in the name.

[@RecklessFables]

I mean, Leai's outfit wasn't intended to be armor. It was a slave/dancer costume

[@Quintzal]

The armor she wore into the palace covered quite a bit more.

[@mike_swag2660]

@darknightoftroy if you read some of the old comics he becomes quite a bit of a more menacing crime lord. But yea his whole idea is a glutinous slug

[@mike_swag2660]

@darknightoftroy very true but disney can't take away my love those old dark horse star wars comics

[@mike_swag2660]

@darknightoftroy couldn't agree more pal

[@clymdodds1020]

As a Chainmaille maker for 22 years it’s always nice when someone “just gets it”. I see your throwing down with the entire shadversity boob armour exchange. As an occupier of the feminine form, you are the expert! Take them ALL to school!

[@johns9652]

I too, came to the comments to make a Shadiversity reference. Mine was "Holy cow I haven't someone be so appreciative of gambeson since Shads did a whole video on it".

[@BlackEpyon]

If people complain about boob armour, I just point them to the "schlong armour" codpiece.

[@annasolovyeva1013]

An armor made for a female who has boobs, should be designed to fit and protect the boobs. It's questionable if it's double or single shape.

[@christianeckert8573]

You are entertaining to watch, I have a huge interest in armor especially gothic plate and your critiques of the armor are accurate and amusing

[@TJDious]

Also to wear Samus's armor you'd have to be cybernetically enhanced and infused with alien bird humanoid DNA

[@BjornTheDim]

In-universe, it is heavily implied that there is some degree of body-modification that goes with the suit. There's some semi-hidden text that an antagonist faction attempted to reverse-engineer some features of the armor... and promptly abandoned the project when their test wearers suffered horrifying injuries. As in, crippled for life with severe spinal injuries.

[@GinkoNori]

@@BjornTheDim Cause of the morph ball, right?

[@BjornTheDim]

@@GinkoNori Yup. How it happens is never elaborated, but there's clearly some weird Chozo-space-magic going on in that suit. The 80s and 90s were a very special time in sci-fi.

[@jasonblalock4429]

Not to mention that in Fusion, because reasons, her armor has literally become part of her body. I haven't played Dread yet - do they address that at all? Does she get to become fully human again?

[@GinkoNori]

@@jasonblalock4429 It is very much so addressed. I know that sentence is not grammatically correct but I want to emphasize how much it was addressed.

[@cocobutter3175]

This whole time I was wanting you to do Xena. I've always loved her costume. It's sexy, but actually protective for the most part, and just seems so much more practical than a lot of women's armor I've seen. I always especially loved the leather skirt because it seems so practical for horse riding. I love that you did Lursa and B' Etor, too.

[@Gaia_Gaistar]

To be fair, Xena's armor is practically what male armor looked like in ancient Greece.

[@antiv4470]

Can you analyze the Dark Souls armor? I’ve appreciated the way the games depicts armor sets on the characters. Darkmoon Knightess, Sieglinde of Catarina, and Anri of Astora are really great women in the series!

[@leonardo9259]

Bc it's too expensive to make basically double the work for women's armor so the body is basically the same It's just men's armor in a character with long hair

[@thepancakemann]

I like how Leonardo here replied to your comment with one of his own that had absolutely nothing to do with what you said. Female sets are often unique in DS and we all love them.

[@adevice]

That moment you realize there may have been even more intent to Xena's costumes than just making her look awesome. Her usual traveling gear is definitely built for mobility, where in flashback shots of her when she sought out combat she's got all the extra armor pieces you mention, more substantial coverage everywhere.

[@mrtalos]

So very very tempted to getting curiosity stream. I'm loving this video

[@GenXJen]

Not at all what I was expecting. Thoroughly loved it. I was sure this was going to be a hatefest on female fantasy/rpg outfits, but finished feeling girlgamer love for ya and your entirely accurate assessments. Subscribed and looking forward to exploring your channel.