On Feeling Stuck

Many of us feel ‘stuck’ - wishing we could escape a job or relationship, while being incapable of doing so. Coming unstuck involves examining unhelpful messages we internalised in childhood.
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FURTHER READING
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“Many of us spend a large a part of our lives, in one way or another, feeling stuck, that is in a state where a strong desire to move forward on an issue meets with an equally strong compulsion to stay fixed where one is. For example, we might at one level powerfully want to leave a job in finance in order to retrain in architecture - but at the same time, remain blocked by a range of doubts, hesitations, counter-arguments and guilty feelings. Or we might be impelled to leave our marriage - while simultaneously unable to imagine any realistic life outside it. To act feels horrific, but doing nothing is killing us as well. Every avenue appears shut off. And so one ruminates, turns over the question late at night, tries the patience of therapists - and watches life go by with mounting anxiety and self-disgust…”
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CREDITS
Produced in collaboration with:
Julia Marchowska
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Title animation produced in collaboration with
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[@theschooloflifetv]

Are there any parts of your past that have led to you feeling stuck? How did you overcome them? Join the discussion in the comments below. If you enjoy our films and want a say on what ones we make you can now become a channel member here: kzbin.info/door/7IcJI8PUf5Z3zKxnZvTBogjoin

[@TheRealBizWiz]

My best friend worries about his father. He’s a Vietnam veteran and he’s been stuck for years. All he does is watch Fox News all day and bashes everyone that’s not like him. He even makes racist or homophobic comments on a regular basis. It’s sad to see because he didn’t used to be that way. He wasn’t always like this. When we were kids he would talk to us about being kind to others. Somewhere along the way something happened to him. It’s hard to think that someone so up in age could change, but we still have hope for him.

[@HelgaCavoli]

This channel needs to be translated in other languages. Please always open your videos to outside translators. 🙏🙏 This content is way too good.

[@Soul-hf8mn]

is there any way i can access your video for translation ? I have been recently translating the videos into Arabic language, but after KZbin community removing the option of adding Sub, i can't help!! will you help me with this please .

[@Soul-hf8mn]

@@HelgaCavoli i emailed them earlier for the same reason , the translation to other language is highly necessary ..

[@alejandrajorge2338]

How do you always guess my feelings xDD?

[@jhuang6417]

School of life happens to know exactly what I’m going through

[@geesupreme6880]

Bruh same

[@musicy.8638]

Its so real that is scary

[@ko.ala.b]

almost every time....

[@pietrusso]

Coz we're all quietly going through the same things

[@servidig483]

Quarantine

[@VerenaSatriani]

Everytime we give ourselves permission to try and confidently leaving the past behind without worrying about perfection, can release the 'stuck' and anxiety. May everyone here finds their freedom in living your dream life.

[@denizdelidolu6573]

I’m aggree with you. I’m thinking like that completely 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼

[@blfalken]

Yes, but that's the problem if you haven't got a great confidence in your core value. What I mean is that regardless of what you do you have an inherent value in your self, you are God enough regardless of your actions. People that haven't had that confidence rooted in them as a small child, often by the unconditional love and attention from their mother, have a hard time trying to get past obstacles, because they can't relate to their worth and integrated self love an self respect. They get stuck as suckers for love or some kind of acknowledgement. If they can't get it from outside of them they stop functioning.

[@moonshine2639]

@@blfalken yeah! Plus some ppl still lives with one of their envy parents, and have no money at all, and no mental health to grow outside of the negative patterns. Its a prison inside a prison... there's no exit

[@sagejunkie7089]

🧡

[@josegray666]

Sometimes reality demands more than we can give… some of us will struggle hard to adapt and never be hapoy 😢

[@QuestionEverythingButWHY]

“Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn’t do than by the ones you did do.” --Mark Twain

[@coolpfpbut9505]

I dont trust mark twain so

[@MaRyAnN14love]

This quote haunts me though. Makes me feel like I'm missing out.

[@poiu77]

not likely, say if you want to ask a girl out but you know she will say no, you wont be disappointed that you didn't ask her out,

[@jkv6079]

@@poiu77 But there is a possibility, no matter how small, that she may have said yes. And until you're given that no, it is possible one day you may look back and think what life would have been if you had asked and she'd said yes.

[@poiu77]

@@jkv6079 no they all say no, so i guarentee i won't be looking back on it

[@kepspark3362]

"To act feels horrific, but doing nothing is killing us as well"

[@DannyWifi]

I had to pause after that. It’s so true.

[@esterhudson5104]

Triple that !

[@fury655]

I'm trying to be an actor who says the truth tho.

[@les-fauxmonnayeurs9887]

Because nothing is a choice.

[@les-fauxmonnayeurs9887]

My family was actually incredibly open minded and never asked me or imposed me

[@hamyle0410]

It's also called learned helplessness. This stuckness arises when we subconsciously reinforce the feeling of incapability, just because in the childhood, we were told that we weren't not allowed to do something.

[@SamuelBlack84]

Thank god I grew out of that concept I'm convinced that I'm allowed to do anything, and if anyone disagrees with me, they suffer Callous, perhaps Bur a lifetime of the human race forcing its foot on my beck will change you somewhat

[@Cynthia-Landers]

5:56 *"We may need to be disloyal to a way of being that protected someone we cared about or depended on, in order to start to be loyal to a more important person still: ourselves."* Indeed!

[@franciscogarcia2555]

That also resonated with me a lot. It is a very eloquent and true way to phrase it :)

[@SamuelBlack84]

Always be loyal to yourself, never to others

[@jeandeanb]

Childhood will always have an impact to one's present.

[@Higor_Alves]

the important thing to remember is that the past explain the problems of the present, but the past does not move the present, unless you inssist it does, than it will.

[@EzequielMartin55vf]

True :(

[@kepspark3362]

Our past.

[@biddergick2890]

So sitting helpless and afraid on the couch as my parents yell at each other is the reason for depression and unwillingness to try for fear of getting yelled or someone yelling at me.

[@ua6523]

I needed this. Every word, every phrase, every sentence, every enunciation, tone and timbre. I needed this video. Thank you for solving a huge problem for me. Thank you for giving me my answers. I will now work on me. The pain is already half gone just by listening and watching this video. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you!

[@ghazikutbi3206]

Usha Aron!!!!!!

[@trevorfranks69]

Damn man you really explained my whole life, 20 years of pleasing my family for no reason.

[@Koralobudddd]

;fix your mistake, weve all been there

[@fruitcasket]

The more and more of these videos I watch, the more it seems like every problem we ever experience results from something in our childhood

[@stefannikola]

Facile. This is so much easier said than done. I’ve been on the “doing something about it stage” for thirty-eight years.

[@treystokes4090]

you mean a 6 minute KZbin video didn't solve all your problems?? this is obviously an introduction to the topic. almost every SoL video advocates going to therapy bruh

[@unahm7649]

Damn

[@SamuelBlack84]

Nobody as yet has told me how I can take over the world

[@ishvanihans]

The message as usual is great, but can we just take a moment to appreciate the ethereal illustration and animation? The colors, the shapes, the interaction - just brilliantly genius.

[@amalayoub5903]

"Their taboos were made to protect them but they are making us ill." Thank you so very much 🙏 This channel is emmencly contributing to a collective shift of consciousness in a positive direction. Thank you so very much.

[@Nihilanth1982]

This should be shown to all Asian families.

[@Imrsk007]

I needed this video more than I thought I did considering how everything has changed in the Pandemic. Thank you

[@triptisharma5121]

I know right 😭

[@Stoney-Jacksman]

If this 'pandemic' made you feel stuck..you probably needed it.

[@coolpfpbut9505]

8 months into the pandemic bruh. Get over it

[@caspars4233]

You missspelled plandemic

[@caspars4233]

And good Luck!

[@h29452]

I moved cities just before the pandemic. Left for a new job, new city, to meet new people. And I haven't been able to do any of it. I've been stuck home in a city I can't explore and with people I can't meet. ☹

[@sandstonemeteorologi]

Same exact situation. I understand you

[@Anna_Protsenko]

Yep, the same goes for me

[@Katie-t1b]

Same. I hope things get better for you ❤️

[@sagejunkie7089]

Have you joined some Facebook groups. Openly asked for friends with same interests. Just saw a guy today do this in a local group I have and the response was beautiful. Don’t wait, you can meet for a walk and take a flask if you are both in your own bubble xx

[@mrscrofford]

Same. I started trying the meetup app to meet and stay busy online. Not the same but it’s something

[@pkitatta]

True wisdom. Thank you for this - and am saying this from the depth of my heart. That cage is the worst thing to happen to someone. The worst thing is that it's created by those who "love" us.

[@artem7804]

I love the visuals so much! I can pause every frame and it would look like a painting worthy of hanging

[@marylevin9262]

agree !

[@rhwf]

I think you would like Dr. Katz

[@Ruleofrose92]

I like the school of life art but this seem to me all are male characters which disappointed me

[@juliamarchowska3425]

Ruleofrose92 hello! I’m the animator 🔆 They were actually meant to be genderless

[@Ruleofrose92]

@@juliamarchowska3425 oh actually I knew thats what it thought to mean but I felt they were all males 💙 I hope my comment didn't upset you

[@innersolutions2441]

Thank you for this wonderful video! Being stuck seems to be one of our core fears. It's so hard when you feel like there are no options. Hopelessness can be a real tricky emotion to handle. For anyone out there who feels stuck, remember you always have options that are not visible right now. You are never stuck, you might just need some help.

[@txhondaguy]

I broke it off with my gf of 3 years whom I loved very much. And left my comfortable job for a more challenging position. All for self betterment and improvement. Don't be afraid to leave comfort for the unknown. Change only happens outside your comfort zone. I feel very good at this point in my life and I know it's only going to get better.

[@RathwulvenBushcraft]

This hit me hard. I am a DV survivor with PTSD and this is so accurate. In my 30s I still experience what is described in this video and I have to be extremely aware of patterns emerging. Seems like many other people experience similar issues - I wish you all well and that you may find strength, courage and happiness in your lives.

[@DonKarangel]

This year I felt stuck. I had found an intership but with the covid situation, the company that I applied to couldn't take me anymore. It took me 6 months to find another one and my parents weren't helpful, always implying that it was my fault that the first company let me down and that if I couldn't find another one was because I was searching the wrong way. My parents always say that I'm stubborn because I don't listen to their advice but those advice was wrong and didn't apply to what I was looking for. Now I have found an internship that matches all the things I was searching and that's not thanks to them. I love my parents but I can't wait to move out

[@VicvicW]

I've been hitting walls everywhere I try for an internship. I'm sure I'll find something eventually but it is very hard to keep going when everywhere slams the door in your face before you even speak to anyone.

[@DonKarangel]

@@VicvicW Sometimes it's good to take a break from searching to release the pressure for like 2 or 3 days. We're leaving in a really difficult time, I hope that you'll find something, don't give up!

[@sashamugs]

Covid-19 has caused an impasse in my present life more than anyone can imagine. I've been waiting for some personal opportunity that I was building up for 3 years and now I don't know where to go. I've been thinking about it a lot but the sheer coincidence of this video not even including the content gives me a little hope. Like it's made for me

[@alonsol2344]

I hope you overcome these times of hardship. In my case, these past 6 months have been a total rollercoaster of emotions. We just have to hang in there.

[@simonsimon935]

No matter how much effort I make, I sense that the last year is a waste of time with no visible progress in any field. It's like living in the unvisible bottle of acid. No matter how many or how strong connections/plans you make, all dissolve slowly. But alas, fear not! After all, it's not a tragedy! Don't worry!

[@Elizabeth-yg2mg]

Everything changes. It will get better. You can find ways to benefit from these times that will help you going forward.

[@nephildevil]

Same here, I'm not stuck because of some childhood thing, I'm stuck because covid regulations closed everything I was working on.

[@darkshadowsx5949]

I feel ya. I was about to take care of things i needed to so i can move on with my life and actually enjoy it for once... but like a curse im stuck unable to proceed. every time i attempt to progress i'm met some force that keeps me trapped for the last 10 years. its endless hell and suffering. i've been unable to take drastic action to "free" myself, but the effort was fruitless.

[@fiddlesticks6146]

... wow, I've been feeling SO SO stuck these past two years, and the feeling intensified since school started last month, and the "childhood laws" I could relate to them all but one, thank you school of life so so much for posting this, you really help me to understand myself, once again, thank you

[@pallios]

I feel stuck too but the cause is simply that I can't self-sustain myself, economically. Currently, the environment all over the world is really unstable especially when it comes to housing. Every job I have ever been offered up, pays way below my means of living so I am stuck in-between being unemployed or working at some job that has a low "time to money" conversion rate. It is really hard being young and ambitious these days not just because of how the times have changed compared to the past but because there are way less opportunities for someone to stand out from the rest of the world.

[@vincentalexander5242]

Yes unfortunately for youth of today the American Dream is dead. The notion that you can achieve anything you want if you just work hard has been lost.

[@tracesprite6078]

I agree. It's not all about individual initiative. Life in the 1970s in Australia offered so many more opportunities to young people than today. Sometimes it is worth enduring a tough time for the bigger picture. I got up 6 or 7 times a night for 3 years for my troubled little daughter but then she settled into a better routine. I'm so glad I stuck by my kids. Now I'd like to have a person to share my life but I also know that relationships take more effort than i want to provide so I'll endure the loneliness and enjoy other friendships. Sometimes there is a wonderful job or relationship around the corner but it's a gamble and you can end up unemployed or in a worse place.

[@wildlyrebellious]

Man, I feel this in the highest level. I graduated last year and I'm still unemployed today. I don't have stable income as I just do "on call duties" which basically means I'm not employed but just work to make ends meet. I only earned enough money to eat for one person. I tried applying for a job in my profession but I get rejected since I don't have any "connection" with the company to back me up to hire me. I have the qualifications and yet I wasn't accepted cuz of that, it seems like these days people don't look for a person with potential but just someone you know. So now, I'm depressed and sometimes contemplating to just "end" this once and for all cuz I'm tired of hoping for an opportunity that doesn't exist. It seems like I'm not progressing with my life.

[@pallios]

@@wildlyrebellious Let me start by saying that KZbin is absolutely terrible in handling replies to comments or upvotes. I had to head back to the video to see if anyone is in the same place. I feel you on the "connections" part. Especially in my country it plays a major role in getting employed anywhere. It is often the difference between getting employed and not getting employed but I don't let that bog me down. Eventually something good or relatively beyond average *will* come up. I just have to keep my eyes open and my criteria at a reasonable level, so that I am not being exploited by greedy employers... From that point on when I manage to get a job that can sustain me I will abandon my parents house and start living on my own even if it means paying 80 to 90 percent of my salary for expenses(because that is the modern reality, rent just keeps going up while the salaries just keep going down). I won't be pretentious and say things will be pretty and everything will come nice and easy, but to eventually rise above the debris you have to keep a winners' mentality. Look for the positive things in your life, as few and as little as you find yourself with. Don't beat yourself up over the things that you don't have currently but focus on the things that you *do* have currently. Get a blank piece of paper and describe the place you want to be at 1 or 2 or 5 years from now(do so for months if thinking that far ahead is overwhelming for you) and how you plan to reach that place. Life is really a precious thing. Don't let a few bad phases in it make you feel stale, or to put it in your own words, make you feel like you are "not progressing with" your life. "Progress" comes faster for some and slower for others. We will get there eventually...just have to keep a high spirit. I hope I helped.

[@PHARANORMALACTIVITY]

@@pallios terrific

[@TheDhammaHub]

Nothing we do is without consequences, no matter how far in the past. Every thought, word and deed will at some point bring forth results. It's crucial to reflect upon this from time to time to not get stuck!

[@toni2309]

We can get stuck if we reflect too much on this, too. You can get stuck in indecision for all of these things if you think too much about how all of what you do can have so many effects and how a lot of these can't be known beforehand and are beyond your control.

[@ilikesprayart]

also everything you do is a consequence of something.

[@pandalyn2267]

@@toni2309 This is so on point with my current ruminations.

[@vidushi9318]

I have always been stuck in my creative side being subjugated...also there are many social ideas (wrong) implanted in me by the sick people of the past. This video helped me realize the real problem with me.🙏thanks

[@Kiky812]

It all goes back to our childhood, as in every problem we try to solve... this makes me feel so angry with my parents. And they say you can't heal living in the same place you were hurt...and here I am... I still think I can break free though and find happiness.

[@Pollicina92]

The end almost made me cry.

[@th3grace]

Oyes. On being loyal to the most important person in our lives - ourselves

[@nonina.english]

These videos are so valuable, the relief from watching them is huge. Thank you so much for your work ✨

[@yuriy5459]

I love the way you explain the deeply hidden reasons through simple samples. Putting everything or right shelf.

[@Miliimoggss]

For everyone who is going through a tough time like me, God bless you dear. Idk for real how can I overcome my emotions and start enjoying my life when I'm TOTALLY stuck as an average student from God gifted one tbh. Every student going through the same issue of losing your "hidden side" please feel free to co-operate..we both need serious help and consult or else these depressing thoughts won't go away

[@toni2309]

I feel like what is holding me stuck is the thought that I can't fit in anywhere in this world. Unfortunately I have little evidence against it and don't know how to dismantle it.

[@IAmHereForeve]

If as a child you felt like you didn't fit then you probably feel the same way now.

[@toni2309]

@@IAmHereForeve I felt like I belonged with my friends for some time, but then after some years it felt like they have eased into a lot of new things and tasks while I have not been managing.

[@aliciacolinas3461]

Toni, lots of us feel the same way. Maybe we should form a club.

[@SiniSimon]

@@aliciacolinas3461 Where do I sign up?! XD

[@whiteraven90]

You could ask yourself a series of "why" questions? Like why do you think you need to fit? I do that when i need to unstuck myself. Write them down too. Letting the questions lead me down a rabbit hole of my beliefs and principles, i end up with a lot of answers. The answers themselves are not reassuring, but the point is, before i asked questions, i had no data to work with, but now i do. You can question the questions themselves too like "why does this matter to me?" You can look at your answers, and you can question "why do i think this" as well. "Could i look at the issue from another angle?" If there is a specific answer you think would be silly to question the validity of, that one answer is especially worth questioning. It does take effort and time, but what else can one do? It seems to be the only thing that ever yielded long-lasting positive effects for me so far.

[@MaRyAnN14love]

I am so stuck. 25. Only child/adult. Living at home with parents, though the dynamic isn't exactly typical. Can't seem to figure out how to just go for what I want. Dreaming about doing different things everyday. Can't commit to any one thing. Can't dedicate enough time to any one thing long enough to progress. Yet I always have a plan and wonder if I just relaxed and went for the original dream instead trying to always keep feeding plan B and doing plan C to maintain myself, would things be better. Also can't seem to build or keep longterm friendships. Also never been in a proper romantic relationship. Usually attracted to people I feel are a bit out of reach also feel like i'm trying to avoid engaging too much with people who might like me. I feel like I have a big appetite for social interaction and attention but somehow always have certain sense of being detached. It's frustrating, I'm used to doing things on my own and I do have friends but it's like they'll be in my life intermittently. I'd really love to be able to do things like travelling or share a space with someone who I know i'll be able to share memories with down the line but people just seem to come and go. I don't know. Lol I need to go to a therapist when I can afford it instead of spewing words out into the ether😅anyways.. I loved the graphics for this video..

[@dalegremio69]

i feel the same, not knowing what we want sucks.

[@MMyL7]

God. It felt like I was reading my life (same age, same feelings) Thank you for putting your story in these comments. Hope you will find yourself soon. xxx from France.

[@eleabrowning7568]

Do you know about attachment theory? I can really relate to your feeling of detachment and learning about the psychology behind it helped me to understand myself and how I handle relationships a bit better:) I think there are a few videos about it on this channel but there are also many more on youtube about each style that are very detailed and helpful!

[@MaRyAnN14love]

@@eleabrowning7568 Thank you for your suggestion :) I have heard of it, and I think I've watched a few videos on it and it was very intriguing. Perhaps it was just that the ones I watched weren't very in-depth, but I felt there was a lot of generalisation- which I picked up on as I felt I could relate to a few of them to varying degrees. I will look into them more though, any insight on how to improve at life is beneficial😅 Thank you!

[@MaRyAnN14love]

@@MMyL7 Thank you for letting me know that you relate- though I hope that you find fulfillment and contentment 💖xxx

[@dineshrajuthangavel6328]

Can we take a moment to appreciate how fitting the animation was with the narration?!

[@sketchesofpayne]

My parents were fine. It was school, church, and the workplace that gave me anxiety and made me quash parts of my personality.

[@IAmHereForeve]

Well, you are not in school anymore and school doesn't matter in the overall scheme of things...do you go to church? If not then it shouldn't affect you anymore. Well, we all have to work. But you might want to find a job you enjoy.

[@SriVaishnaviYagnamurthy]

the recommendation algorithm knows my life a little too well.

[@sour7934]

Everything single time I’m in place where I am emotionally stuck lacking guidance that I don’t get from either of my 5 siblings or parents, the school of life pops up. Thank you.

[@Daithi_mk]

I feel like you're getting significantly better at this over the years, humility allows such growth. Didn't think you had much room to improve.

[@hdjsidkdk3766]

The anxiety of being stuck is now swallowing me😭

[@markcannon8522]

It feels like drowning but you don’t get to die and rest only the endless agony

[@gioel4]

Me: What a wonderful life! My childhood traumas: Let's ruin this man's life...

[@EzequielMartin55vf]

Same

[@pratikthapa6218]

😭😭

[@depression7927]

Same!!

[@Harthikreddyy]

Currently 20 years old I can confidently say this is my whole life

[@abdulrahmanyaseen8234]

Me: opens a random school of life video the school of life: your troubled childhood is the reason

[@erin7913]

I’ve noticed that. Their approach is ALWAYS psychodynamic

[@fayrouzabdelhalim4883]

Why is that? I do understand some adult issues do occur because Alight childhood factors..but every.single.video is about that. I dont get it.

[@matheus6894]

​@@fayrouzabdelhalim4883 but, that is it, man... it's because of the many screwed up situations we lived in childhood that, today, we have to deal with many shits, that's how it works, unfortunately

[@cheshireerlinberts5806]

@@matheus6894 facts

[@matheus6894]

@@cheshireerlinberts5806 It's pretty unfair hahaha but 🤷🏻‍♂️

[@francismeg]

Before adolescence, I was naive. I was taught that if I worked hard and prayed, I could achieve anything I wanted. There was no alternative. I grew up thinking that people who didn't make it in life just didn't work hard enough or they weren't Christian. I and the people around didn't realize how naive I was until I went off to school internationally. While in undergrad, I had a plan of getting my Master's, getting a high end job and being successful. I barely graduated from undergrad. And that shared my confidence and I became depressed (amongst other things). I thought I wasn't good enough, not smart enough, undeserving of good things. After 6 years of being stuck, I recently went to therapy and started medication and gained enough confidence to apply to grad school so that I can improve my life. But I didn't get in. I feel like that set me back, worse than I ever was. 😕 It's so hard trying to address these laws, and when you are them and end up proving your depressed mind right, how do you come back from that?

[@bc9775]

I honestly just want to learn how to animate just like this. Simple yet powerful.

[@David-zi9nr]

Indeed, anyone know how to?

[@1234kingconan]

You mean simple, not simplistic.

[@bc9775]

1234kingconan thanks

[@MikeJackson690]

No idea what to do with myself. I'm fed up of life and, no matter how hard I try, I'm not getting out of it what I want.

[@stefycoca2137]

Alright, I see the point, but what if the parents aren’t always the case in every mental obstacle? I think I had an average, even good, childhood. But now that I’ve matured, I’m suffering daily internally. I’m always stuck in my head and my parents have treated me good as a child. They’ve been giving and loving and now I’m stuck, lonely, depressed, anxious and unhappy. Sometimes I believe that it’s not always the case of how our parents treated us when we were young, but rather the type of people we were born as. The personalities we were given from day one. We can’t always blame the people in our past for the problems in our present.

[@jk-do1up]

I think 'parents' may be a general figure here. It may refer to teachers, siblings, school friends, etc. All these peopleform our lives to some degree. And also, dependind on one's sensitivity, a child can react very intensly to words that may seem irrelevant, were spoken to him in a stressful moment. But children have a different perception of feelings than adults. For example, lets say that mother got very angry only once in her life with her son and got extremely enfuriated, enough to say "You are useless!". This single situation can really influence the childs personality.

[@joshuawindus8519]

We do live in a shifting environment with a lot of factors. I do think the past affects us in more ways than we know, but it would be interesting to see videos that addressed things that happened that no amount of good parenting could ever fully prepare people for, like loss of a spouse or child. I do think some worldviews taught to childred help them better deal with loss, but its hard to say anyone could fully prepare someone for that.

[@stefycoca2137]

jk0402 I disagree with this one, yes it might change the kid’s perception temporarily about their parents if they did get a comment like that, but I don’t think that one time would change a person’s outlook on life forever. Especially when you live with someone for so many years, in the same house, you’d understand what they really are normally as a person and, even as a child, you’d understand that someone acted out like that because they were angry. What I was trying to say is that these School Of Life videos have the tendency to reflect back on the parents or childhood past, quite frequently. And they have very valid reasons to, but I think we can blame other things for how we manifest in the world now that we’re grown up. I’m just saying, sometimes we were born like this and there’s not much we can do about it.

[@JesusMontoyaVideo]

Though I found this video quite comforting, I'm not only feeling stuck but, actually being held by a series of enviromental situations that can only be resolved if a move to a different place, in this case, to a whole different country. I live in a 3rd world country in crisis. Those 'laws' that hold me back are more like poverty, an authoritarian regime, impunity, lack of a sense of community. I wish there was a school of life for the poor and the oppresed.

[@scarlettskies100]

I wish you abundance freedom and peace of mind ....sending love 💘

[@sybelle_esta_no_telhado_ad5040]

I believe the school of life is for everyone-poor and oppressed included. The principles arr the same

[@toni2309]

I personally kind of feel like a big part of my stuckness is how my needs and wants don't seem to fit together with what is expected of me from society and how society can help me. So like, there isn't even a place I can go to to become unstuck. Since you have hope to become unstuck by going somewhere else - I hope you can manage to get there.

[@sybelle_esta_no_telhado_ad5040]

@@toni2309 Ever tried just forgetting about what society expects of you and doing your own thing...? Society is going to make you happy

[@erburu]

I feel you. It's a different kind of struggle when your country is slowly sinking with you.

[@audreysopoco]

i have been feeling stuck immensely, and this pandemic just made it worse. only in my dreams at night can i feel some sort of escape. i put my career on the line to freelance full-time and it hasn’t been easy-but i did it anyway. all i can think about now is moving forward in life, changing it one step at a time, or moving somewhere else. but it’s so hard to push yourself when you overthink the future. but a part of me says “you can’t do that, you weren’t bred to be independent.” and i think that’s a huge factor to what im feeling. now, i’ve just started to make videos documenting my creative but black and white life (no this is not me promoting my channel at all). my small progresses make me feel a little stuck. all i have to do now is practice patience.

[@SteveWKk]

One of my favourite lines from the book The Compound Effect is "Small changes+ consistency + Time =Massive Success" And its true...........make good, positive choices.........every day.....over time....and boom, watch what happens! Works in every aspect of life :)

[@Chris-2-of-3]

Thank you for this. This is timely as at this moment I'm at a point in my career and personal life where I'm making these very assessments, and feeling - stuck. I'm relieved to hear the powerful impact of childhood rearing being given validity. Everything said about possible parental behavior in this video were my parents. Yes, how one's parents regarded you, treated you, words said to you, praise and validation not given when needed molds and forms your thoughts and habits and perception of self all your life, and sets in like cement. Now, to pull out of it.

[@Lensonthethames]

Fascinating. Trying to please or unlock a program of conditioning by our parents / parent / family is one thing, but this explanation misses out the negative impact of society’s expectations and pressures (eg growing up feeling different, whether it be sexuality, disability, ethnicity or being neurodiverse etc.) I think my parents were incredible human beings who weren’t perfect (nor am I), but they did a much better job at being examples of love, compassion and respect, than any school, government body or religious institution I have ever known.

[@Another_Salty_Bish]

Lately im feeling stuck and really lost. Lot of things happened way too fast and i still cannot recover. Every morning i wake up im asking my mom even for one day not to go to school because im tired and the only thing she says is "Well im tired too but i still go to work without complaining". Its not the same thing mom.

[@harmylie4413]

This is now my favorite video on the internet. Thank you.

[@gaegod3982]

Thanks so much for your videos. I have been feeling suicidal lately, but it’s vidéos like these giving me hope.

[@brittanystorm420]

This reminds me of the time my dad literally told me that he "lives vicariously" through me

[@brittanystorm420]

@@alexandrugheorghe5610 thank you 🥺

[@pepedomingo4061]

Read the novel Siddhartha! It shows the cycle of childhood and instilling upon your child your own fears and wants, and Siddhartha only achieves enlightenment after *the* specific scene where he realizes he is doing this to his son. I think you would probably get a lot out of the book :) especially since you, like Siddhartha, seem to be breaking the cycle too

[@Kweesh]

@@alexandrugheorghe5610 How is it hurtful? All parents live vicariously through their children.

[@walusimbicollins9641]

Alain is a genious and yhr whole community of The School of Life. Explaining my stuckness.

[@georgiana1754]

This is so incredibly subtle and deep most psychotherapists I spoke to so far haven't thought about it. It takes someone with the sensibility and insight cultivated at TSoL to even detect it, not to mention to articulate it so clearly. A masterpiece of thought.

[@PhoenixandMuser]

The narrator of this did a fantastic job. Their voice is so calm and reassuring, but still expressive. I feel a little better.

[@YashasRedd]

The school of Life somehow knows how I feel 24x7

[@SteveWKk]

Its the human condition...... Everyone feels much of the same feelings.

[@thienpham4006]

Thank you so much, this video is totally awesome. This is exactly what happened to me in the past. There were many hidden laws preventing me from doing something that i really wanted to, especially the feeling of guilty as when i disappoint my nearest and dearest. It’s just like a cage in my mind, I always thought that i was like a bird just learning to sing a birdsong that others wanted me to, not a birdsong from my heart. However, i could change my circumstance, by firstly learning to see the overall picture of my current existence, then showing it to my family and friends not only with my rationality, but also with empathy and compassion, to tell them how they made me happy, and how they imprisoned me with that “happy”. I hope those who stuck in their cage could free themselves not only for themselves, but also for their family and friends. It makes life worth living.

[@antoniocarrara_]

This all sounds so legit, logical and right. The idea of putting this knowledge in action already makes me feel better. But it is so tremendously difficult to do something.

[@ankitashivarambillav9791]

This is a relief for the incurable wounds since so many years . Some past experience really changes us entirely to a different person and results in loss of aim ,passion, enthusiasm in life. Best video when we are slid away from track(essence of life)

[@aungthuhein007]

How timely! I'm feeling stuck with my job right now too! Feels like I'm smarter than what I'm doing right now and want to leave, but then there's corona and finding another job (a good one) is pretty hard. :( This video helped a bit. Will have to reflect on myself more I guess.

[@rebeccajones9757]

I feel the same about my job

[@kyber452]

I've been stuck in retail since I've become legal working age. It kinda confuses me that people are now starting to become stuck like me, yet still have the nerve to look down on others. People are losing jobs, and essential workers are working jobs that treat them like shit. Sometimes I wish a meteor would just destroy the Earth by now.

[@aungthuhein007]

@@kyber452 I know that feeling. :) Everything sucks right now. All of it will pass. So I just think about that and be ready for when things get better.

[@peterstankiewicz2474]

I celebrated 5 years sober this past halloween but still feel very stuck ... And that pink cloud after initially getting sober has been long gone ...

[@OrdinarySpeaker]

When I saw the video I just thought KZbin recommendations were getting really good, but you having uploaded it just now that I am dealing with exactly that makes it even more weird :D

[@lucuradelli4153]

These types of animations feel so charming and comforting, i love them !!

[@sheakealadams256]

I needed to hear this. Thank you.

[@mastergmoore]

Wow, it really dawned on me. My father figures all jammed home that all my interests couldn’t make money and were worthless. I wanted to be a museum curator as a kid, I love history and antiquity, and here I am. Landscaping making money, miserable. I’m not 30 but damn this really helped.

[@khulekaniduma7158]

Childhood and how we are raise is the key to anyones life. Iv just stagnated in everything. Im unable to tell people No so i get stuck in difficult situations. Apart from that i do feel this invincible box , since 2017 iv been trying to earn a living in a career, in which most of the people iv started with were able to achieve success within 6 months (in not comparing myself). Why. Why do i self sabotage. Any way. Thank you for the video. I hope everyone is well and keeping safe and working towards dismantling limiting beliefs

[@suenorwood-evans9724]

When I’d ‘had enough’ at age 20 I emigrated halfway round the world to get away from the heartlessness I received! But you take yourself with you where ever you go and the healing work still had to be done.

[@Mirrtamirrv]

Thank you. Thank you so much. You’ve helped me immensely. Glad I discovered your channel

[@Tblak.official]

To anyone reading this I hope you will eventually get your self higher and move on in life and accomplish your dreams

[@egesajesse]

The sound on this is so crisp it must have been put together by “Lays”... 😂 But on a serious note, am so great full for the, as usual, remarkable insights you provide.

[@misssford_4528]

😆😆

[@vasalexander5784]

Family is the number one destructor many times. Close family members especially.

[@joaquinmonti7729]

The Linkin Park t-shirt at 2:51 was a nice touch.

[@SP-mf9sh]

With that being said being raised by two parents is a good thing and family should always be first.

[@kimcroall2587]

This is free therapy is absolutely fantastic. Thank you.

[@bobbykane-fearn186]

The School of Life: the channel we need but don't deserve

[@coolpfpbut9505]

You dont deserve it because you expect the videos to have a solution to your problems

[@Lonely_Moth]

Of course we deserve such a channel, it's not something to earn, but a kindness, sent to us by authors' good will ☺️

[@khoinguyenthe2473]

I am a Vietnamese student and I quit a popular school 2 weeks ago since I wasted a great amount of time being in it. This video made me feel like I have made a wise decision. Therefore, I feel less alienated.

[@docusi2674]

The laws I learned were to be quiet, play on my own. Don’t ask for much, watch my parents have a cold relationship, watch my dad go to work everyday and come home and not say a single word at the dinner table, silence silence silence. Be good in school, don’t make mistakes, don’t ask for help , never say how I feel , no one is interested in how you feel, and then at age 14 become an adult, live alone and raise myself. No wonder my life sucks. Why do I feel this relentless guilt for having moved far away from “home”. I felt I never had one. The third of three unplanned pregnancies and also unwanted … my mother found out ahead of time was pregnant with me when she was having her pre-hysterectomy ultrasound. Big age difference between me and my siblings. I was also born very sick. Maybe there was some resentment towards me? Idk. All I do know is I am stuck and sad and depressed and anxious and angry and unfulfilled and prefer to be alone. The older I get the worse it gets. I’m ready for my ticket off of this merry go round.

[@giselaafonso]

Watching this video is like seeing myself on the mirror. I know the answer to "Why?" is there on my first years of life but i'm not able yet to understand how.

[@RadiationSound]

school of life is the parent i never had. thank u

[@Proseless]

Today, I felt a burden I hadn’t imagined I’d feel until I was in my mid-40s. For a few months ago I was comfortable, finally managing to find time for friends and hobbies. However, the position I find myself in now demands that I abandon my human faults; become an emotionless robot. Any slight disturbance is enough to upset everything, or so it would seem. An argument with friends, some trouble at work with pay, or perhaps some frustration with how the dishes in the sink haven’t had the food scraped off yet; these feelings are not afforded to me at this point. I have no one to go to for advice, both my parents immediately blame me and shut me out- my grandmother in tandem. My old, trusted friends have become occupied with their own ambitions, and my interference with my own problems is unwelcome. Neither am I old, nor brave enough to go live on my own. My only option - In as rational I can be - is to abandon my emotions in favor of being a robot, but, at least a robot that can help even if unwanted.

[@nononsense2731]

How beautiful that animation and narration is. Wonderful.

[@zoeverou5188]

I understand how this could be true for some people but I feel stuck but the laws I have created by myself over time, not my parents. As a psychologist who likes this channel, I do feel like there's a big finger pointing at the parents in most of these videos.

[@anulkakochana]

I am obsessed with the animation in this video!

[@JaknTuck]

I feel my current situation is built by my indecisiveness, which I will admit to be my greatest weakness. I feel like I got Writers block but in real life. This video provided me with a greater insight on my dilemma. Thank you.

[@rocketmanshawn]

I needed this video to remind me. But I do differ on a few aspects. Unless your marriage is unsafe, don't leave it. Just do the "responsible" thing and have a mid-life crisis. That and yourself being the most important person, any fulfillment found in that is fleeting. This reminds me of a book I read years ago and have been meaning to re-read. It's called The Art of Understanding Yourself (by Cecil Osborne) . It'll break you in all the right ways.

[@anwarrahim43]

im stuck. i didn't expect this to be it. im one of those billions that had to endure this stuckness. currently. still trying to get out of it. im just shocked to finally understand why i am the way i am. thank you for making me realise this.

[@sabbapixie]

"tries to test the patience of therapists" yup, guess that is me

[@fatemadee]

the illustration/animation styles just get better and better

[@Diana-yr8kr]

This hit so hard, every single circumstance described I'm living it.

[@jesseishere9959]

I do feel stuck and this insight makes sense.

[@meriem9966]

Thank you for helping me grow 💓

[@ThePinguPenguin]

The explanation is pretty much spot on. And to be honest this is happening to me right now 😞

[@matumorales]

I rarely comment on KZbin videos... but this one has exceptional content. Congratulations. Just what I needed to hear. Keep up the good work!

[@carlocarnevali7790]

I'm a 20 years old and I'm doing an Industrial Design degree. At the first year I really liked it, but now, at the second year, I'm starting to realize that the chances of me getting an actual job based on that degree is very very unlikely, especially because I don't feel that creative and hopeful about that career any more. Now I'm stuck, because I don't know if leaving and going for a more down to earth school with better chances of finding a job that I would probably like less would make me feel better. BUT, what really makes me stuck is the fear of change and the fear of actually leaving this degree that I did for two years, making me get back to the start. I've never left or changed anything in my life, I've never took a drastic decision about my future, my parents always did. I'm 20 yo but I feel like a 5 yo who fears to swim in the pool.

[@Blossom-ne4bk]

Thankyou for your videos, they are really helping me. Please could you kindly do one on how to recover from toxic workplaces? I feel like growing up they've affected me deeply. 😔

[@kaz773]

We inherit more than just genetics from our parents, we inherit their pain too.