How you remember these jokes and say them without a hiccup is hilarious! Keep em coming!
@stevengaither76523 жыл бұрын
He’s been telling it for years.
@ronstermonster15472 жыл бұрын
Yes ---I want pee on the IRS too !!!!!!!!!11
@juanorozco1971 Жыл бұрын
Probably because he steals them this is pretty much the joke that Quentin Tarantino tells the bartender in the movie Desperado
@Rightwinger19823 жыл бұрын
Basically the same joke Quentin Tarantino says to Cheech Marin in desperado
@2027Judah Жыл бұрын
What I was thinking
@ghostfacekilla7410 Жыл бұрын
It’s funnier when Quentin Tarantino tells it !!!
@paulluysterborghs4964 Жыл бұрын
By basically you mean exactly
@Freddy-iz8wl Жыл бұрын
Basicly everyone didnt see desperado
@DC4L_86 Жыл бұрын
@@Freddy-iz8wl Basically how can you own a smartphone and still can't spell BASICALLY correctly. Basically dummies should be banned from owning a smartphone.
@gregred783 жыл бұрын
Heard that one about 5 years ago still funny to hear it again every now and then.
@TampaDave Жыл бұрын
It was a strict bartender when I heard it, but an IRS man could be even stricter. Reminds me of the one where a feddie shows up and tells the farmer he’s got to examine his fields. The farmer says, well, if you have to, but don’t go in the field over there. The feddie says “I have a BADGE that says I can.” When the feddie got to the field, he was soon being chased by a huge bull. The farmer, watching from safety called out “Show him your BADGE!”
@claymitchell23353 жыл бұрын
I seriously loved that joke! Give us more, please!
@billhouse81993 жыл бұрын
The oldies never die, Keep'em Coming ✌️
@timothyrandolph89522 жыл бұрын
Texas Tom is by far the Greatest at comedy in a long time. I found myself bursting out at laughing . if we were neighbors I would be over all the time, wow. I needed that belly laugh. Tim Randolph/ California
@ronelkins105717 күн бұрын
Dude is un-funny, totally. Doesn’t have the personality to pull off his self imagined schtick.
@kimberlylustig36173 жыл бұрын
He is so funny most of the time. I enjoy watching him telling his jokes. He makes your day many times.
@kylechurch18053 жыл бұрын
One of the top 4 funniest joke I heard in my life, keep them coming man
@colinl90184 ай бұрын
It's all in the delivery, and god damn you delivered that well.😂
@janiqueunique83613 жыл бұрын
Tom..I am getting slimmer and slimmer..bring on the summer!!!..love🇬🇧💯
@javib20733 жыл бұрын
Smokin a joint while I heard this ... lol
@damoon26318 ай бұрын
St. Peter was taking some new arrivals around heaven and when going through on place with high walls he asked everyone if they would be very quiet. After getting through one man asked St. Peter why they had to be so quiet. St. Peter looked at the man and said, well, the Catholics are on one side and the Baptists are on the other and they think they're the only ones here!
@PeterWhite-q1kАй бұрын
Great joke! I heard it years ago but with Catholics and Lutherans. Thanks for refreshing my memory.
@Dapper_Dean3 жыл бұрын
Yeahhh! Top shelf jokes indeed. Old, but still classic.
@jokerzstory91103 жыл бұрын
That's chic wilfong joke lol 😂 good one though
@RJ1999x3 жыл бұрын
It's an old joke, chick wasn't the originator
@pochopdaddy56673 жыл бұрын
I remember it as a bartender joke.
@justsaynototaxes6723 жыл бұрын
Neighbor looked over the fence and saw the neighbor kid next door putting dirt in a hole. Neighbor said," whatchadoin?" Little kid said, " oh, I'm just burying my goldfish." "Why's the hole so big?" the neighbor asked. "Cause he's in your cat!" the kid replied.
@fixitshop30253 жыл бұрын
Lmao
@seanmcaleavy23693 жыл бұрын
That is funnier than the joke in the video.
@jesusnavarro48853 жыл бұрын
Hahahah. Im dead. Kid killed the cat.🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
@kazoote3 жыл бұрын
Guy finds a genie lamp, gives it a rub and out comes genie. "You have ONE wish, make it good" "Alright, I want a freeway from New York to Beijing, over the sea and everything" Genie says "nah, its gotta be something realistic, that's too crazy" "Allright" says the guy, "I want to understand women and know what they want" "... how many lanes you want on that freeway?"
@bobwinkler12683 жыл бұрын
That's not how that joke was written still funny but so wrong. Next time dont change it do it right or not at all
@kazoote3 жыл бұрын
@@bobwinkler1268 thats the way i heard it. I haven't changed anything except translate it from another language. Do you know how jokes work? They live, travel and evolve.
@chiefskingdom41513 жыл бұрын
@@bobwinkler1268 its a joke. Have a beer dude. Life’s too shirt to be a dick.
@jorgetoloza2693 жыл бұрын
Lol🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
@miles29783 жыл бұрын
@@chiefskingdom4151 Damn right, I wish I woke up with this attitude everyday
@denise6515 Жыл бұрын
Love your jokes they help me get through the day considering I'm in pain they help me
@John-nl4lt Жыл бұрын
Being in pain sucks. No one can judge or feel your pain it’s your burden. I’m weeks away from having my triple fusion extended from L4 to S1 to L3 to S1. Through my back. Then four bone graft cages through my stomach then fuse my pelvis to my sacrum both sides. After seeing him yesterday thinking I was going straight in since I’ve lost feeling to my genitals and bowl control but after telling him about neck and shoulder pain he done tests on my hands and fingers and told me I have a major nerve compressed in my neck and he now needs to fuse that before the other three surgeries. All because after finally having my back fused and a right hip replacement and feeling the best I had in 26 years without sciatic in both legs for the first time. After three years of physio hydro and heeling I got the all clear from my surgeon so booked in for a remedial massage at an osteopath and after laying on his bed he oiled my back then cracked it right on the fusion when I’d told him my past surgeries turns out it was a clerical error so now struggling more than I ever have due to the fact he broke my back in three places and now my neck is screwed from trying to compensate for everything else. I guess what I’m trying to explain is I seen my mum in pain from sciatica when I was a kid and I doubted her and never believed she was in that much pain. It’s when your alone with your pain and thoughts you realise that everyone’s pain is different and should never be judged or put in a category. Well here’s to health 😂🇦🇺 cheers John from Wollongong Australia. Christ I’ve written a book 😃
@irishterminator. Жыл бұрын
@@John-nl4lt hey John from what you said it seems like we share similar pain only my joints are fusing without surgery, I have Rheumatoid arthritis, Ankylosing Spondylitis and severe Osteoporosis so 90% of my spine and neck are fused so much that my ribcage is overlapping my pelvis and I have lost 6 inches in height and I am in constant pain but with a positive attitude every day I can open my eyes and say I am still alive. I hope that you will have much better days ahead and best wishes from Ireland. Ps mine feels like a book too Slaínte
@ӇЄ0Ӈ-ф5в3 жыл бұрын
LMBO Quentin Tarantino in Desperado
@TOAST1MIA3 жыл бұрын
It was told a little different in desperado by Quentin Tarantino
@knutelindstrom3716 Жыл бұрын
That’s hilarious! I wish I could tell jokes so smoothly!LOL
@jboone75703 жыл бұрын
This is probably the best joke I've heard 😁😆😂🤣
@marcusmarcus8616 Жыл бұрын
I knew the punchline and even a year later, it's still funny as hell!!!!
@tntkop3 жыл бұрын
I was too intimidated by your Affliction shirt to listen to your joke. 😂
@rapiddog1491 Жыл бұрын
I laughed so hard the tears ran down my leg.
@brendacanter97683 жыл бұрын
OMG I laughed out loud now everyone is looking at me like I m crazy. Well I m really crazy so that's OK. Love yall from outside of Helotes TX.
@donnataylor980 Жыл бұрын
😂😂😂 that's a smart old man😂😂😂😂 that was cute. Thanks for sharing😂😂😂
@terrybaker74123 жыл бұрын
Love this guy!!
@TraciSoloGrayWitch Жыл бұрын
🤣🤣🤣 That poor lawyer. 🤣🤣🤣
@joehiku71363 жыл бұрын
Always cracks me up this one About the third time I've heard it as soon as he said irs I was laughing but still had to watch it to the end just to listen to the delivery of 5he joke.
@jackiekern1837 Жыл бұрын
You make me laugh! Thank you for that. People used to tell jokes all the time and I missed them!
@shawnboyce1663 Жыл бұрын
That is a great old joke. New millennium kids can't tell jokes like our grandparents did. Keep them coming
@kimberlylustig36173 жыл бұрын
Good one as usual , how do you remember all of those jokes !! There are days you really makes me laugh and I thank you for that . Again thanks for sharing and making me laugh it really helps more than you know ,😊👍😆
@AustinFinnern3 жыл бұрын
Never heard this one!! This was hilarious, thanks for sharing!!🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
@SP-mp9yi3 жыл бұрын
They sit behind bulletproof proof glass now. lol 😆 Maybe this is why 😆
@goodoutlaw56323 жыл бұрын
It sometimes pays to be a betting man...🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
@richardkremer83132 жыл бұрын
Common joke told many ways. It still makes me laugh. I’m old vet an heard my share of them. You get me laughin.
@Tania-qy7pn3 жыл бұрын
Looking good, Tom! This is funny 🤣
@escaladeEXTon28s3 жыл бұрын
And so are you
@ronaldwoodard37953 жыл бұрын
Tom.... Ur NUTZ, but I love you man! Keep 'em coming hoss!
@andypressley47023 жыл бұрын
I seen a bumper sticker it said get high on milk my cows on grass 😆
@LadyBug-kf4hr6 ай бұрын
😂😂😂😂😂, you're an awesome joke teller 😂😂.
@BobbyJetty1502 Жыл бұрын
My grandfather told me that one in Jr high. I’m 48 yrs old and that joke is still just as funny as the day pop told me. Keep’em coming brother, you’ve told a few I laughed so hard I farted 🤙🏼🇺🇸
@leeannbrenton703 жыл бұрын
Where do you come up with all these jokes😂🤣 hilarious....thanks for keeping me laughing.
@rebeccakuchta3959 ай бұрын
Merry Christmas, Happy New Year.... thank you for your videos 💙🤘🇺🇲🎄
@irishterminator. Жыл бұрын
As an Irishman I approve this joke 👍
@conniecarroll72223 жыл бұрын
Yep, heard a version several years ago but it's still funny as hell.
@sniffableandirresistble Жыл бұрын
The visual that is generated in the mind of the man standing on the desk pissing everywhere is not a pleasant visual even if you make him shout "yeee hawww" ... lol 🤣
@michellec98713 жыл бұрын
Who cares how old this joke is...... It’s still😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 as fucq!!!!!❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️‼️‼️‼️
@suzannehousden1779 Жыл бұрын
A great joke! And you told it so well, thank you!
@charlottefox47756 ай бұрын
Love your style!!
@stephensoltau28233 жыл бұрын
Hahaha,funny thing is that I heard this while taking a piss.
@andrewmcgee1001 Жыл бұрын
Great joke...love that twist at the end.
@hyruleking81163 жыл бұрын
Yooooooo😂😂im so glad I stopped by
@jzzzxxx Жыл бұрын
By my count, the IRS is entitled to $42,500 of the winnings in this joke
@themagnificentwhiskerbiscuit3 жыл бұрын
The IRS Man was talking to the Mr. Potato Head of humans!
@whydoineedthisbs3 жыл бұрын
I've heard it before but I had to listen to Tom tell it😄
@ronelkins105717 күн бұрын
The funniest thing is the Affliction shirt.
@D33Lux Жыл бұрын
You got talent telling these jokes. 👍
@John-nl4lt Жыл бұрын
I went to buy condoms. The chemist said that will be $4.50 plus tax. I told her forget the tax I’ll glue them on. 😂🇦🇺
@JudyendqualifiedimmunityPenn Жыл бұрын
Love your jokes Texas Tom!! Keep them coming!
@garystorm62513 жыл бұрын
This joke is definitely arround the motor in a corner boat... thank you...
@saulfernandez88763 жыл бұрын
you s got a way to tell em jokes which helps make em funny
@mistylsandlin9884 Жыл бұрын
When daddy passed away and you tell the jokes exactly how he would tell him with the exit and everything awesome
@bigchas77ify3 жыл бұрын
Tarantino told it better. Definitely a classic
@marcusvonmaximus80713 жыл бұрын
Variation of the joke told in Desperado.... So a good one
@matthewfritz7396 Жыл бұрын
I like Texas Tom. He is comical to say the least. Enjoyed this joke for sure.
@kjam360 Жыл бұрын
ROFLMAO, now that was funnnnnnnnny.🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
@richsamuel29223 жыл бұрын
My throat hurts from laughing so hard!
@bzeuzsak Жыл бұрын
My old man was a scout master. One day he told us troops, "I bet you can't stick out your tongue and touch your nose. Whoever can wins." Well we all were sticking our tongues out like we were digging for boogers. Except for one scout. He stuck out his tongue and touched his nose with his finger.
@glennfoster24237 ай бұрын
Perfect understanding begets application of interpretation for success.
@clurkroberts2650 Жыл бұрын
That is an oldie but goodie… one of my favorites… and I always forget the punchline
@kitkakitteh3 жыл бұрын
Was a bartender and a real bar the last time i heard that one.
@CodyCarlson-d5t7 ай бұрын
I was telling a bartender version of this with three shot glasses, for almost fifty years now. Stood on a barstool in ft Lauderdale, TGI Fridays. Told it to the entire place, had the cooks coming out to hear it, plus a few more. Damn that was 1987 I think. Matt and Charlie was the winner though. Its a deaf mute joke.
@Tim_the_Enchanter Жыл бұрын
That's a good one. When I heard it a long time ago, it was a bartender and a customer ... and a lot less money.
@TripleGZilla6 ай бұрын
😂From one of the best movies ever called Desperado 👏👏👏👏👏
@robertsavino7915 Жыл бұрын
Funnier when Quentin says it not a hick!
@lancemiller98663 жыл бұрын
Tom I love your channel and all the jokes you tell
@traveise30202 жыл бұрын
MAN!! I just was scrolling one day just about a week or two ago & I clicked on one of your clips..I've been a fan since!! I Love your stuff keep em coming!! I've even tried to repeat to my wife, 😆..I'm not u, so in just shared your link with her&she loves it.. Thank you for keeping us smiling. Your new favorite fan in N.C.
@enlightenCA3 жыл бұрын
That joke is so good I posted it on my channel back in 2019. I like your version too. LoL
@aquadesignsbymlt47693 жыл бұрын
Thank you! I needed that Laugh! 😁🤣
@MikeCorbit3 жыл бұрын
keep them laughing
@trent15263 жыл бұрын
This is always a classic
@davidcorbit3931 Жыл бұрын
Awesome bro...thank you for the smiles!!!
@lilmommabrown2512 жыл бұрын
Thank u for the wonderful memory I knew I heard it before and very well said 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼Mammaw Jean would of loved you on the back porch with us on Sundays also Jerry Clower was her next door neighbor but thank you for the memories 😍😍😘
@linitadudley1269 Жыл бұрын
The best gambler in the world😂
@LongIslandNY-op8su6 ай бұрын
As they say in the south,”that son of gun”.🤭🤣🤣🤣
@Lifemotivation19706 ай бұрын
That’s like puts and calls in the stock market lol
@ghostcoyoteproductions8 ай бұрын
Popcorn Sutton strikes again!
@Pinsyl Жыл бұрын
I remember that joke from Desperado! Best joke ever!
@ciaran55883 жыл бұрын
That was SO funny!! Brilliant joke
@mississippiredneck28603 жыл бұрын
I remember this one from chick wilfong love that joke 😂😂😂😂😂
@everythingisvibration3 жыл бұрын
Heard this joke and my parents could hear me laughing next door
@LK-bz9sk2 жыл бұрын
Hilarious. Texas Tom always make me laugh my ass off and sleep really well. Thank you
@hapexamendar1093 Жыл бұрын
Cutting in the IRS guy in your scam is definitely the way to make it work!!
@shadowstalker67623 жыл бұрын
That is damn good right there 👌
@jolietony10592 жыл бұрын
And now the IRS guy owes taxes on that $25,000 bet
@markliebrock62463 жыл бұрын
Oldie but a goodie 👍
@User1946d64 ай бұрын
Finally we see your torso . Gorgeous man
@markshoemaker65 Жыл бұрын
Outstanding A/F...😂
@ixnine56983 жыл бұрын
classic... never gets old
@bunnyg23312 жыл бұрын
I thought the punchline was going to be about the IRS man's evidence of tax evasion being destroyed by the pissing incident, but the actual punchline was even better!
@angiec41162 жыл бұрын
Lmao Love Ur Videos Look Forward To Them U Do A Great Job Keep It Up