One simple trick to overcome your biggest fear | Ruth Soukup | TEDxMileHigh

[@erylloiseannconstantino8703]

"When you shine a light on your fear, it's not scary anymore" best message to end the talk

[@NixxSlays]

I'm a self doubter and people pleaser for sure. My anxiety has gotten so bad i lost all my friends and am afraid to get a job because people might yell at me

[@Moonlight-fz4bg]

Im a people pleaser too and I hope you be find in this time. Sometimes you need to appreciate yourself

[@all1soul]

Don't be so fast to label yourself. Personally, I feel like it's better to say that you've had these tendencies in the past rather than owning them in the now. I've found that laughter yoga can help shift my mood rather quickly from one of negativity to joy and light-hardheartedness. even just a little grin and and a chuckle under my breath is enough to shift my mood to one of positivity. We are here to be happy and to love and help one another to be be good stewards of the planet. Love is the answer.

[@brijjitgundy3081]

Jesus delivered me from that, he can do it for you! I still struggle alot because its rooted in pride and fear, but he helped me so much. Still is. Repent of your sins and believe in the gospel of Jesus Christ and you can received everlasting life

[@brijjitgundy3081]

@@all1soul thats who The Lord is, love. Come to him, he is waiting for you. Repent of your sins and believe in The Gospel of Jesus Christ and you can receive everlasting life

[@catspurr_98]

I used to be a chronic people pleaser but recently I pleased someone so much, and still didn't get any validation from them..from that day I got tired of it as I understood that just cuz u please doesn't mean you'll get what u want.

[@nicholasminehan2993]

The common theme in all these archetypes is the enabling of oneself to submit to the fear itself, therfore, letting it grow wild like weeds in a garden. Making a habit of doing the things that make you uncomfortable, and reinforced with positive self talk is the only solution. I hope everyone finds it within themselves to face and conquer their own fears and let shine the greatness we all posses within.

[@Luckybelieve]

This is really what I need right now so gotten it

[@pentecostdickson9868]

"because when you shine your light on your fear, its not so scary anymore" I like this

[@lifemusic1980]

"I just need to know how to live" This goes through my head everyday. Damn.

[@reginag.a.4187]

That part resonated with me as well. I think many of us need to know how to live, whether we're aware of having this thought or not. So many of us do not know what we're doing. I love how we all pretend we know though. The truth is, we're here to figure things out and most of all to figure out how to live in our skins. And that's different for everyone. I thoroughly believe in each of us having a unique journey but also belonging to those shared qualities (like fear) that make us all human.

[@Empathetik]

@@reginag.a.4187 What would you do?

[@Marten-er4oz]

W

[@jainikadudhiya9020]

You are not alone

[@andrearenee3899]

This brought tears to my eyes. I have never looked at myself as having fear. I have always tried new things and stepped outside of my comfort zone. But I am also the biggest procrastinator and feel stuck at times but I realize now that it’s fear. Fear that I will fail or fear that I’m not good enough. Thank you so much for sharing this. So authentic and real 🙏🏾

[@thebookchatclub]

I enjoy how “real” she always is. Ruth, you knocked this one out of the park!

[@monicabenavides5946]

I think she did

[@jqthegirl]

My god. I am completely terrified right now, but I know I have to take actions . Even though I can’t breathe, my hands are shaking, I can’t delay talking actions anymore.

[@liana7529]

im in the same boat as u, lets overcome and push forward together~

[@thexpax]

She just needed to "learn how to live" now she is teaching us how to live past fears --- what a useful, helping life she is ! Make notes, then solve yourself.

[@ceecee6378]

Fear is huge for me. I saw several archetypes and took the test. Hearing Ruth’s story helps and is inspiring.

[@tracydesjardins4760]

Combo procrastinator/self doubter here! I love the clarity in Ruth's message and I have identified how these fears show up for me. Working on this daily. Great job, Ruth! Love your work

[@kream619]

What a great TEDx Talk!! Thank you for being so authentic, real, and honest, Ruth. We need more of that in our world. Definitely shared this with a few of my tribe that could benefit from learning more about fear archetypes and how to still follow their dreams.

[@mayasaragi158]

Aku tuh procrastinating kalo ga perfect ga mau ngerjain, people pleasure bgt ga bisa nolak, rules follower gw tuh tau kerjain sesuatu untuk otoritas di atas gw, outcast kebanyakan ah palingan juga bla bla bla, excuse maker banget juga, terlalu banyak toleran di hidup ini 😒.. Haih cape Makasih loh mba, bisa mendefinisikan apa yg gw ga ngerti bahkan sebelumnya di diri ini ada apa 🥰

[@debbiemoody2467]

Courage is the thing that keeps us free

[@trollponch]

this TEDtalk deserves WAY more views and likes. It nailed it and showed me the source of my depression and anxiety. Now I can work it out and overcome it!

[@husseinfaiz3397]

Hows it working for you now

[@Vivivofi]

How is it working for you now

[@nicogalax]

And now

[@JenniferRoskamp]

It's amazing how much knowing my fear archetype has affected even the relationships in my life!

[@alexismaycock4665]

Procrastinator here 🙋🏾‍♀️ Knowing my fear archetype and how it can serve me or not serve me has been a powerful tool when it came to reaching certain goals I had for myself last year. Such good stuff. Thank you Ruth for doing the work 🙂💕

[@reginag.a.4187]

Procrastinator, too. Would you be willing to share a couple of the ways that you found it could serve and not serve you in reaching certain goals for yourself?

[@ilonaarsenivna6156]

That feeling when I didn’t need to call it with “archetype” word to realize the experience.

[@enucxus]

I'm always afraid about everything especially when it comes to my self... when she said Self-Doubter and talked about that, it really hit me. That is me :( thank you for sharing! It's really encouraging.

[@teresadeagle3079]

Sweet Young Lady, I was You at Your Age and I'm Now 61. I have been thru Many Experienes thruought this Life but I Am Eternally Grateful for the Strength of You Sharung Your Obstacles. Praying for You❤🎉

[@tinaforrestel2441]

Thank you for sharing your story and inspiring us to recover from our lowest of lows and face the worst of our fears by knowing what our fears are. My archetype is Procrastinator and things make so much sense now for me. You've helped me turn my fears into strengths and to say out loud, I AM AFRAID...BUT...I CAN DO THIS! Thank you for this insight and for helping me see the fear in a more positive light. You are such an inspiration and then some!

[@kelvinchizumira5860]

Not a pessimist, excuse maker nor outcast but I am all of those four remaining characters and I hope listening to this will help me shine a little bit of light to all these fears.

[@samrob167]

Such an inspiring story! I loved how she described the fear archetypes. I'm definitely a mix between perfectionist and people pleaser.

[@yolande7871]

Gosh! I am glad I finally mustered the courage to find some help with this problem (by writing this comment I am already working towards that). I can identify with about 5 of these archetypes and as I was taking notes on this talk, my mind started working on ways of tackling the problem. Now that I have identified my fears, I feel more hopeful towards beginning the journey of lessening the impact fear has on my life🙂.

[@stephanieduncan3794]

I took Ruth’s fear assessment and it was enlightening to say the least....and right on. I am first and foremost a Procrastinator by way of perfectionism and fear of not doing it right so it’s easier to not take action. After reading “Do It Scared” I now know my challenges....and how to use them to my advantage and even try to change them. So incredibly helpful.

[@maggiemurphy3145]

This was so interesting! I had always considered being a people pleaser and rule follower to be strengths of mine, but now I can totally see how those are really fears and could keep me back. Thank you for this!

[@zqpcydbfoqbdiehdj]

" No " is a decision right that we all have and it should be respected by all, so don't be afraid to say it whenever you have to. ☺️👌

[@ilonaarsenivna6156]

All the virtues are becoming a medal of both sides when you deal with the wrong people.☝🏻 No need to devaluate yourself in case to mask the rotten personalities issues. Yes you have to realize a danger of this value as well as a thought that a worthy person wouldn’t make you regret of having one.

[@amandakadziolka9068]

My fear archetype is SO accurate. It's so good to know so I can try to get ahead of it!

[@amandakadziolka9068]

@Jessica Bowman Procrastinator!

[@tamalita]

Love your courage and generosity in sharing so much of yourself. Wonderful talk. I am a rule-following procrastinator. Very inspirational and thought-provoking.

[@eBuddy1999]

How did you overcome the bad aspects of being a rule-following procrastinator? I have read many self-help books such as by Ruth Soukup, but I keep procrastinating taking action!

[@SaraZenner]

Ruth, you're a rockstar! I've been following along with you for a long time and feel like "I know you." I'm so happy to see you on this stage - putting one foot in front of the other and facing your fears. Congrats, my friend.

[@sayedelkofory9785]

انت رائعه

[@BB-ux5wd]

ANy more advice for this issue ?

[@Moirai0_0]

I resonated with many archetypes. Majorly was with self doubter. And I know what triggers me. The situations where I have to present myself. Be it an interview, a presentation , Viva or anything. First thought that comes in my mind is 'I am not good enough' , 'I am going to make myself embarrassed ', 'I should not even try what's the point', 'I will waste the interviewers time'. I criticize myself so much. I have low self esteem. I feel like everyone can do better than me. Or I have not practiced enough. I want to overcome this, this horrible feeling, I hate it. I know its just that one tiny step towards my fear and boom it will get better. But I have been hesitating all my life. But now I am going to take the leap of faith and will give my first ever interview tomorrow. I believe I will get better.

[@PaperGlitterGlue]

Excellent talk. Until I took the fear assessment I didn't realize the reason behind being an Outcast. That helps me so much.

[@Shazianne]

Now I can use this information to start a paper I should've finished, continue a project which should be complete, and go talk to the guy I really like... Thank you, Ruth! Thanks, TEDx.

[@the42the42]

I can honestly say that I have all seven maxed out. I am pretty much a shut-in, and am on Permanent Disability. The hardest part is knowing that I have very real medical conditions that aren't being treated because of these fears, some of which may now need additional or more complicated surgeries to fix. I Mask heavily as a defensive mechanism, and tend to avoid "bothering" Doctors with my problems. I ignore pains that I shouldn't ignore. I am 44 years old, and haven't had so much as a physical since I was 19. Thoughts of suicide and self harm are only curbed by the guilt of how I would make other people feel by following out those thoughts. I have finally begun getting professional help last month. I am sorry if this isn't the right place for this.

[@JessicaBowman]

I can totally understand that! You don't have to do all the scary things all at once. Start by keeping a journal of all the things you're afraid of or that bother you. Then take the easiest one and do it. I used to be too afraid to talk on the phone, to order through a drive-thru. I always imagined the worst case scenario and could barely leave my house. But if you just try doing one thing, you'll soon realize that it's almost never as bad as whatever you've imagined. And that gives you the courage to do the next thing. And the next. It snowballs! Pretty soon you'll be doing things you never thought you were capable of, and you'll be making the most of your life, with no regrets! You can do it! 💛

[@reginag.a.4187]

@@JessicaBowman Very kind and uplifting ideas. Thank you.

[@ccgodbless1423]

@@JessicaBowman well said thank you

[@z33boo]

Please watch one of Wim Hof's interviews here on KZbin and try a daily cold shower. You have nothing to lose, but so much to gain! I'm doing it (:

[@all1soul]

@@z33boo Thank you for your contribution. I have been meaning to try this. i take your comment as a sign that i would do well to make a habit of doing this. Blessings to you and us all.

[@fereydounify]

Its always very good and helpful to share one’s life experiences with others. This is good.

[@HeatherMoritz]

So insightful! It's amazing how accurate my Fear Archetype is!!

[@hockeykdd]

I am a procrastinator and self-doubter for sure. Very interesting Ted Talk. Thanks, Ruth!

[@letshavebetterlife8853]

Wow, this is great.. i have almost all of those, never even realized that there are such differences. Watched dozens of these talks, but not many of them go into actionable steps and details like this.

[@yvonnetucker1416]

Girl you are amazing. Praise God you have really come a long way. Prayers for you to continue to grow .Amazing that you are giving others so much hope.

[@olga_my-lovely-world]

Thank you so much, Ruth 🌹❤🌹

[@jinujisnaa]

The most beautiful talk ever for those who are struggling because of fear😍

[@peterreed9566]

I've never understood this overwhelming desire people have to face any fear never mind their biggest fear. I'm in my 60's now I've learnt that the avoiding facing my fears is the best way to live my life. That said, whatever works for you works for you and at end of the day that's what matters. Mind you in my life I've never had any objectives, goals or dreams other than just surviving...and so far I done that quite well. My employer says I'm a really good worked but they can't understand why I've turned down numerous promotions. The reason is simple I've achieved a work/life balance that's perfect for me.

[@silviagorini]

Congratulations Ruth! Great speech!

[@444yoshitha8]

Im so happy as I watched this. Im a self doubter with all the doubts I have Im not stepping out of my comfort jone and Im please pleaser too I always used to think what others think abt me from now I try to avoid all my fears this video has helped me alot .

[@HaloGirlMV]

Her hair is beautiful. Great inspiring talk i love it!

[@tommyls4357]

Wow. This was enlightening. I am a perfectionist and a pessimist. Guess I always knew that at the back of my head. But it is sooo hard to change that!!

[@kimwhalen111]

Thank you for shining on a light on fear and the different archetypes...Thanks for the insight & striving to overcome

[@alexandreneves3371]

Basically we all have a little bit of each one of them. Mine, particularly, is the procrastinator.

[@rubaemaster7036]

I honestly feel like I resonate with very one of these fears. I know she said having multiple is normal, but all of them feels excessive

[@pablocesaracevedohernandez4716]

Wow... All 7... a new record for me.

[@coachtiziana]

Very impressive, Ruth! As one of your students, I thought I knew everything about you. Well, you surprised this Pessimist.

[@DenkyManner]

Procrastinator and self-doubter 🙋🏽‍♂️ The good news is once you confront your problems with some clarity you can change. I've changed, friends have changed, managing to overcome some horrible experiences.

[@diyanamdev3555]

I am going through all these fear archetypes. Feels like she is just speaking about me only. Yes I am a self -doubt person and extremely confused person. Sometimes its really hard to choose between something & even more harder when you are an overthinker.. Because of overthinking, I imagine all the possible things to be happened in future even the terrible things too, so this scares me more...

[@annamoore3634]

This was very interesting and helpful to know my fear is mainly based on the “people pleaser” type.

[@sriyaask4612]

Same here

[@ceecee6378]

Anna Moore Yep.

[@zqpcydbfoqbdiehdj]

Yeah.. have a little pride on yourself and say f***** NO whenever you want to cause it's a human right and everyone should respect your opinion. 👍

[@WebbVentureTV]

Thanks for sharing this. The part about being a people please is something I understand so well, but once I understood the root of that fear and what it meant, I was able to release it and now it does not control me.

[@OswaldDigestiveClinic]

I just got rid of my life-long fear of mice! So great seeing others sharing tools that can help! I know so many people w/ fear of spiders.

[@sigvardbjorkman]

From bottom up I'm built this way: Self doubter, pessimist and procrastinator.

[@jubyliao4858]

Thank you for sharing these 7 types, but I am still not quite sure how to overcome them.

[@ngacni]

I have all 7 and maybe even the 8th. Its amazing

[@gaia38ant]

I just have one fear but it is breathtaking : the fear of a blank planet

[@francis2k488]

Nice one Ruth. I love reading your blog posts and listening to your podcast. You are an inspiration.

[@babolokimosimanyana3907]

Be fearless 💓

[@ganbatte1260]

I checklisted myself 6 of 7, except the people pleaser. You can imagine how fear i am in facing everyday situation. I quit my job, lost income, quit college because fear. I have blushing in my face that will make my face turns red in every situation, especially when it cames to "caught in a spot" situation. But last week ive been employed by a new company. Its been 3 years since my last work. People will humiliate me if they saw im blushing. I hope i can stand the bully in my new job now. Because i cannot hide my fear, it is always shown right in front my face. If i success stand the bullies in this job, i will continue pursuing master degree and doctoral / PhD degree. I just want to live a normal live give contribution in sciences for this world

[@germangamer2976]

2 and 5 resonated with me the most

[@theresiacirino3488]

Very inspirational. Thank you

[@englishforkids_spb9283]

This video is exactly about me! Than I you!!😘

[@dreamandmakeit6221]

It's so relatable. Now my condition is like this.

[@AmyStone]

Nicely done, Ruth!

[@priyashreedubey5844]

best Ted Talk ever ❤❤

[@simaroyaich-kf2vu]

Attempting something should be our priority irrespective of the result it might happen 👍

[@theanatomist8575]

Without identifying the fear (which type) thete can be no cure 6:20

[@Kittyququmber]

Are these archetypes or are they reasons that are related eg: following the rules -tule follower-can cause the procrastination -procrastinator for fear of being an outcast-and so one becomes a pessimist.

[@mohamadlotfy8744]

Actually I fear failing I don't know to do with my career or family even with may self

[@EdieWadsworthlifementoring]

I LOVED this video and learned so much from taking the assessment!!

[@richardbrown2316]

The people pleaser - yes.

[@lindaweaver8411]

Very interesting. I would really like to learn more. I think I am a combination between a people pleaser and a rule follower.

[@prateekjaiswani8755]

Thank You ❤️

[@acreativelearner5533]

Very encouraging talk~thank you!

[@rajeshwarsharma1716]

Sorry did i miss it? What is the simple trick as mentioned in the title? This talk is more like a promotion for her book.

[@MonqueMchee]

Starts at around 6:35

[@MonqueMchee]

It begins with identifying and understanding thought patterns to start changing the patterns and create different ones.

[@MonqueMchee]

I can see though how the title can be misleading as it's not always as simple when getting pass fears

[@PinkYellowGreen2023]

Thanks for sharing this video. I can relate.

[@themadmeatball]

Most of them are very similar. Still enlightening.

[@incine8323]

I realize that I'm outcast and that's sucks because I really want to do things but I'm so afraid that people can not to like that I just stop. I wanna try improve this and stopping having so many concern about the others opinions.

[@Samanthax1221]

It is understandable that you want to try to improve your social interactions and stop feeling like an outcast. It can be difficult to feel like you are not fitting in or that others do not like you, but it is important to remember that everyone has their own unique qualities and it is okay to be yourself. One thing that may help is to try to focus on your own goals and interests, rather than constantly worrying about what others think of you. It is important to be true to yourself and to do things that make you happy, rather than always trying to please others. This can help you to build your confidence and feel more comfortable in social situations. It can also be helpful to try to be more open and approachable. This may involve making an effort to initiate conversations or to be more willing to share your thoughts and feelings with others. Remember that it is okay to be vulnerable and to ask for support when you need it. Finally, try to practice self-compassion and be kind to yourself. It is important to remember that it is okay to make mistakes and that everyone has their own challenges and struggles. By learning to be more accepting of yourself and your own imperfections, you will be able to build your confidence and feel more at ease in social situations.

[@Mr_Davis573]

Blessed

[@yuliu4740]

Interesting!! I see myself in 4 archetypes: "Procrastinator", "People pleaser", ""Self-Doubter, and "Pessimist". Maybe there's a primary archetype for me. Is there a questionare that can measure the archetypes?

[@aldomendez9085]

so true, thx

[@sigvardbjorkman]

At now 28 I think the same. I'm at the same place except for not having ever had the self deletion urge. That's actually quite perplexing to me.

[@sigvardbjorkman]

I'm the procrastinator Perfectionist type for sure. 99,99% of me is all about research and prep and I get super anxious whenever actual execution is ahead. I end up forgetting all about it in avoidance until crisis stares me right in the face. I get nervous beyond being able to handle it in the moment. Starting something and commitment is super difficult! Even though I myself am almost never satisfied with the products of my work the people around me gives me praise that I'm on the one hand can't help but feel some pride for but on the other I secretly think that they must be fools, can't they see how bad it is? Me in a nutshell. I'm currently trying to get a job, I have never had a real job in my life and I wish I could get into higher education but my grades are lacking so I can't. I'm very lost. I will now live over at my grandmothers house after having temporarily moved in with my parents again. I dropped out of art school recently as I realized it's not fit for me to study art higher up even though I like making art myself. I would like to get into some sort of work like what I aim for at the moment in computer programming. What am I to do with my bad grades though? No employer is even remotely interested in my applications. No school is open to my poor grades. I have done so many different things in my life. Moved from one interest to the next. No path has taken me very far until I turned in some other direction. I'm not so specialized. I don't know what to do really. My life is sort of a failure thus far. I know nothing of a future as of now.

[@sigvardbjorkman]

My innermost core tells me I'm unworthy. My unconcious tells me after a self sabotage well done "well there you see that your'e not worthy of any good coming your way and if you ever dare to think so disaster will surely strike you down quicker than you could ever know" so I'm super anxious about execution of pretty much anything that would be remotely known by anybody else.

[@sigvardbjorkman]

The self doubter is very true for me in conjunction to the procrastinator side I have. I'm doubting my ability for sure. All the time! I guess that's why I'm so prone to procrastination as well? It's my escape mechanism I suppose? A funny thing is that as soon as I have finished something I forget all about it and when I'm to do creative work once more I doubt my ability like I never ever even had any ability at all. I have to actively remind myself of things I have previously done, which then happily surpises me, to convince myself I have sufficient ability to make anything I would deem to be worthy at all. This I have to do or else I will go around for extended periods of time in self doubting agony until I even dare to start the next thing or show the next thing I have completed. If don't I can also go so far as hit rock bottom and start something out of despair that if successful at pleasing me will in the moment clear my doubts. I have also ruined many friendships, relations and opportunities because of my highly critical side that often raises anger to put even more fuel to the fire and for that I'm sad but in that situation my unconcious is satisfied and basically telling me "See I told you so, didn't I" but in reality I often get more invested in other people because of my more empathetic nature that reads too much out of any situation for my sensitivities to handle. Things go badly for me because of it and I am the cause for it. I'm just not capable enough, I guess, to handle it all and it overwhelmes me so easily. Am I now just giving my uncontios a "I told you so" moment again? Maybe I am? I guess so, lol.

[@sigvardbjorkman]

God damn I'm a pessimist.

[@patricethomas2443]

Never knew you could be more than one. Wow

[@sharonknowles9104]

I have a fear of driving on the express by myself especially long distance I feel like I’m in a big bubble

[@chitrikajoshi3937]

i am a big procrastinator, yes i seek perfectionism. Working on it

[@sachinrathore267]

If you succeeded please help me

[@andrejslovak2884]

Is that normal to be copletely in all categories?

[@brianbarton477]

How do I shed light on something in my subconscious???

[@Yavvee]

Is it strange that I'm ticking 5 of the 7 fear archetypes!

[@charleshurstreinvention3959]

It is easy to engage in things that are a given. And it is easy to keep doing what you are already good at. This is what I tell my own subscribers as well--The guts come from taking on the unknown. Knowing others may ridicule you for trying when they don't have the sand to step into that arena where the outcome is unknown. The ones who excel are willing to be afraid and also willing to be the storm instead of succumbing to it. There is a more pertinent point. Maybe climbing Mt Everest has nothing to do with your job. Or stepping into that octagon one time after a year of training. Or doing a Tough Mudder. BUT--by making yourself uncomfortable, by facing fear and by driving forward into that dark abyss is where you grow. And you will carry that over into your career or whatever else you want to achieve. Hope that helps someone out there---Charles

[@mcdonaldsrgs9215]

I’m built with all this I’m a mix of all types

[@thefirewithin1309]

Damn, I can relate to all of the above.

[@bigidea100]

I fear getting started & Self doubter!

[@erictomlinson8326]

I have a bit of all, but I think self doubt is at the top.

[@mony8935]

My biggest fear is mainly loosing people I love and I just can’t its so hard to get rid of it but I am determined to do it

[@sirenagarrido3836]

I think i have a mixed of the archetype I know my fear and when started to control part of me I am working but I haven’t still getting through it i have always been able to confront anything that came to my life and I ‘ve been depressed and out of it but my anxiety and fear has a reason and i know that is remote that my fear in future could happen navigated this is what i am looking for because the stress is horrible and is taking to much of life things that are in the past and the future who knows

[@CarlosAMolina]

Very interesting especially when you realize that we all have more than one.

[@HumanExperimentJ]

I am literally ALL 7!!!!!!!!!

[@Goldone99]

Love the jeans 🙂