Rethinking anxiety: Learning to face fear | Dawn Huebner | TEDxAmoskeagMillyardWomen

We are hard-wired to shrink away from the things that scare us - to fight, flee or freeze in the face of danger. That’s a good thing, but anxiety is about perceived danger, which is different from actual danger. When we act based solely on nervous feelings, our worlds can become very small. Our desperate attempt to avoid discomfort and uncertainty fuels anxiety, and avoidance locks it in place. Yet we can take back control. We can learn to face our fears rather than running from them.
Dr. Dawn Huebner believes we can all be taught to overcome fear and anxiety. In this engaging talk she explains how anyone, at any age, can conquer debilitating fear. A clinical psychologist in private practice, she treats children with a variety of emotional, behavioral and developmental concerns.
Huebner is the author of “The What To Do Guides for Kids” series, which not only reflect her beliefs about empowerment, but also provide practical advice for parents and children. Her personal journey as a parent, however, led Huebner on a quest to find ways of using cognitive-behavioral therapy as an approach. With simple language and humor, she presents sophisticated concepts in a way easily understood by everyone. These concepts, in book form, have been translated and sold in 12 different languages worldwide. Learn more about Dr. Dawn Huebner at bit.ly/1CcwlV5.
This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community. Learn more at ted.com/tedx

[@SlyngshotSellers]

‘The possibility of a bad thing is often worse than the actual bad thing.’ This is so true!

[@marsbeads]

I like the statement, "Being afraid is not the same as being in danger". I'll have to try telling myself that.

[@HeiMarLy]

marsbeads me too

[@dianenielsen3544]

Can anxity cause bad dizziness

[@alilrazzledazzle992]

@@dianenielsen3544 It sure can. It's usually due to not breathing properly.

[@LessonsInLife]

Yes. Situations in life are never so fearful that you are not able to think of a next action to face the obstacles. ;)

[@AbdullahKhan-bg1lz]

How are you now.

[@amesailor]

To me, Will Smith said it best. "Everything you've ever wanted is just on the other side of fear." perfectly said and so so so true.

[@cathleenwarrenmcelligott2116]

Tyler Smith one of the best quotes in that movie!!

[@Vegan4Everything]

That quote belongs to Jack Canfield, but yes, it's a good one.

[@wowcool8749]

I never went to the other side of fear

[@indrakamalyadav2921]

@@wowcool8749 yeah me too

[@tessellar]

@@cathleenwarrenmcelligott2116 l

[@nonoyuka]

"The possibility of a bad thing is often worse than the actual bad thing"

[@elenaeisenhardt3280]

You have such a calm and lovely way of presenting - I'm so glad you've overcome your fear of public speaking and that I could see this brilliant ted talk. Thank you.

[@Liam2621]

Her voice makes me feel angry , if I was her son I'd be ill too

[@marsbeads]

Liam L If I were her son...

[@MenafaDer]

hahaha he wrote that correct grammatically :D

[@dasvinimistry9591]

Oh hello! Nice video you have there! Since we are on the same topic; have you thought about " Vidadsmedia Child Anxiety Treatment " (search on google)? My colleague had some dealings with them and was impressed by their great treatment when the Anxiety issue was completely treated !

[@zadi3830]

guys check out my anxiety song on my channel

[@moneyharry]

TBH many people say "face the fear", but the way she said it and the examples she gave was really different, it really gives you hope.

[@davidtabor2465]

Wish I knew this when I was young. I was a totally confident lad, loved life and loved trying new things. Now I have all sorts of anxiety. Hopefully this will be taught in school in the future. We are still kind of in the dark ages about mental health.

[@urbancampfire7253]

Same here dudes. I was the center of our little group of friends, always up for trying new things and going of on adventures. That all radically changed at 16, when i had my first panic attack, and then changed even further when i developed OCD in my early twentys. Im 34 now, and my world is very small and im nothing like that young wild outgoing boy i once was.

[@definitelynotlouise3558]

Hey you 3 im the same a real show off as a kid then my mum divorced, married a new guy who basically made me feel worthless from the age of 8 years old. Now I deal with anxiety issues all the time, im always telling myself I am better than this but I cant break out of this pain, Im desperately trying but probably never will.

[@johnlampitt4086]

Brass bands

[@johnlampitt4086]

David Tabor andrie rias

[@TheMrMojoRisin67]

@El Jay As someone who finally did get help with his anxiety after a time, it is tough to take that first step. I lived with horrific, stomach-churning anxiety and wanted to do something about it, but I was afraid of potential consequences. What if people think I'm nuts? What if they put me somewhere like a hospital? What if they decide to dope me up on some heavy drugs that are like lobotomies in pill form? What if everyone I care about leaves me when they find out I'm this kind of person? What if I'm mistaken, and I'm only pretending to be anxious so people can pity me? Thoughts like that (and many, many others) kept me in a state of fear and resignation for years. So, when I see people who are not acting on facing their anxieties, I totally get why they're hesitating. It's not so easy when every little thing is magnified by your own perceptions. It's like looking at life through a funhouse mirror, and not being certain how to get out of the carnival. I hope this offers a little bit of perspective.

[@RamapriyaKopalakrishnan]

Honestly, this is the best talks regarding anxiety issues I have ever watched. I have no idea how much it's going to help me when I put this into practice, but this gives me hope!

[@QW2227]

Ramapriya Kopalakrishnan you csm

[@VipinChanders]

Ramapriya Kopalakrishnan mam provides the guidance and support for me. I need some help with this process as I am going to try to get a second opinion on this matter please let me help out with this

[@RichardBrazeau1]

Go to KZbin

[@JnTmarie]

Ramapriya Kopalakrishnan so hows it going?

[@tonycosta3336]

Any updates?

[@micki1973]

"The possibility of a bad thing is often worse than a bad thing" I think that's what she said.and that statement might be life changing for me.

[@user-iv9tp5zs4e]

This lady is speaking with deep calmness. I feel blessed in every words and healing is coming within. God bless you Madam.

[@deraldbaysinger6367]

I'm so happy that there is someone like you helping children cope with this issue. I'm 34 years old and have had severe panic attacks and GAD since I was 16. I was too embarrassed to say anything to anyone. I still suffer daily. I self medicate with alcohol which in turn affects my job and family life. I wish I had an awesome person like you to help when I was younger. I'm trying to get my drinking under control and start making changes in my life. videos like these are a huge benefit. thank you.

[@achmadsyukur5938]

have you tried TAT? some says it is incredible technique

[@intrepidtomato]

Start meditating every day and redue the alcohol. Start small - five minutes of mindfulness meditation.. I really know what I'm talking about here, developed panic attacks two years ago. They've gotten a lot better with meditation, self care and exercise, even though it is not fully gone.

[@sharonmogambi2621]

Just try and one day u will be fine

[@neandergal]

@@sharonmogambi2621 Doing "techniques" all alone only goes so far. this is why there is such a great response to this one speaker and all the others on KZbin, whether Buddhist, Eckhart Tolle, etc. It's the CALMING PRESENCE OF THE OTHER that is missing in anxiety disorders. Anxiety disorders are the Lonely Place. The calming presence of the other has never been internalized (usually because it was never available). The go-it-alone (or with a video) approach only goes so far. "Techniques" only go so far. It's about relationships.

[@deborahbain9915]

I'm so sorry you suffer anxiety I did too until my DR prescribed meds for PTSD and what a change

[@Angeloublue32]

I've been automatically doing this all my life. I was terribly afraid of needles and when I went to nursing school I had all my fellow students give me shots to practice their skills. Now I'm not afraid of needles anymore. I also focus on the ridiculousness of my anxiety and laugh which takes away the power my anxiety has over me.

[@dannym8623]

"I also focus on the ridiculousness of my anxiety and laugh which takes away the power my anxiety has over me." - This! My anxiety started with heart burn, that felt like a heart attack, then an ear infection that made me feel dizzy, and I became a bit of a hypochondriac. I'm only 31, and I had thoughts of a brain tumor, heart attack, and other terrible illnesses. After a while I thought, how could I be suffering from ALL of these ailments... how could I (all of a sudden) be that fragile. It made me laugh and that was the biggest help. Im still getting over it, but I feel like in a few days my body/mind will have nothing to cling to and I'll be fine. I realize that besides my anxiety, I was just fine, I could run and felt strong, and felt overall healthy, so I should stop worrying. Much easier said than done. But I am soon to be married and I cant give my wife a bumbling mess for a husband. People, keep fighting, keep laughing, realize that the anxiety is nothing more than fear of the unknown (more or less). But most of the time that unknown isnt as bad as you think it is. - Have a great day all!

[@pryankakumari6636]

@@dannym8623 hahahahah I hope u r doing fine....I wish u reply back here on my comment .. dont k ow but felt a connection with ur comment as I have been dealing with same symptoms... if u get this comment after all these years ... plz do rply how r u doing now...😊

[@nahm8703]

I listed to this everyday for the past week to calm my anxiety and sleep

[@Elijah-fc3ex]

Something I took from this that's really powerful that nobody else is mentioning is : Even a small amount of money can motivate a person to do something. For her son it was $20 to face a lifelong fear. I would argue it was the bribe that actually did the trick :0

[@AshniGupta]

hey your name is eli

[@victoriabarnett8639]

What a beautiful presentation. Great structure, clear and helpful message and a great speaker. I felt my anxiety slipping away just hearing the clamness of this woman's voice!

[@497davidtj]

I felt my axniety coming back cause of the audio quality.

[@devilplays7078]

@@497davidtj same

[@halfstring]

Thank you for this. I've learned that fear leads to hesitation, which manifests into anxiety. So you have to stop it before it starts. Deep breathing, meditation, yoga, walking (up steep hills), and listening to music can also help to reduce the feeling of panic.

[@kmed1994]

i wish she never stops talking, she has a really calm voice, makes me feel comfortable, thank you !

[@neandergal]

It's not WHAT she says, really. It's that she is a calming, caretaking presence. In order to understand anxiety disorders on a deeper level you need to try to understand your relationship to early caretakers. Anxiety sufferers usually have a history of insecurity and insecure attachment and separation anxiety as children. The cognitive-behavioral "techniques" only go so far. Good old-fashioned psychotherapy, if practiced correctly, will get more to the heart of this problem (fear of falling apart; fear of fragmentation; fear of being out of control).

[@aslynnhallett7542]

Ya sure

[@Newuxtreme]

What I love about this video is that it tackles the same kind of anxiety that I have but more importantly it tackles the fact that the issues were being faced by an "expert/authority" in the supposed field itself. The impostor Syndrome I feel is insane. But so must be the one she faces. So thank you for this brilliant video!

[@deborahbrautman4184]

I’ve been a CBT therapist for almost 20 years, and listening to your lecture gave me some new tools. You are such a wonderful speaker.

[@adityakumar2649]

Can you do my therapy? I am too poor to afford one and suffering from severe anxiety.

[@neandergal]

@@adityakumar2649 You'd do better with Eckhart Tolle's videos than with cognitive-behavioral therapy.

[@antionnella1938]

this video got me crying, facing horrible anxiety and suicidal thoughts at night, looking forward to see a psychologyst and get better :)

[@CordEldridge]

ever so grateful for this abundance of knowledge in a short video. I hope this assists all of you who have listened.

[@brendadrew834]

Brilliant talk! Thanks so much ...you have such a lovely soothing voice and a wonderful presence. Much appreciated! Going to remember this talk so I can refer back to it often!!

[@jessicat.2657]

This brought tears to my eyes. Thank you.

[@marivicmarcial7635]

Thank you for sharing your own experience. Your talk is simple and straight to the point, easy to absorb.

[@rebeckasvensson838]

Unbeliveble!! Amazing ted talk, you´re amazing!! A role-model!!

[@zvipatent]

Great talk. The irony of the speakers fear of public speaking raises the possibility that her own anxiety(s) may have conditioned her son (and an ONLY son at that) to be anxious. But it is wonderful to hear of people overcoming - both her and her son.

[@joanbrown8881]

Love your authentic presentation of your own unique story. I am encouraged as a grandma and mom of three, many years of working out the journey to resilience from fears- each child had unique fears. I am on a quest .... the same quest. Resources for families and teachers, resources that empower the child.

[@build7wealth]

Amazing advise. Thank you. I sometimes have catastrophic stage anxiety attacks. This helps me.

[@cristamcgrath]

Thank you! You’re presentation was AMAZING!! So helpful! I’m so happy you shared your personal experience with anxiety and you’re way through. ✨

[@natalialajdova1164]

This is honestly the most helpful ted talk I've ever seen

[@ArtJourneyUK]

A perfect TED Talk. Great flow and structure, perfect amount of personal story and science. Well done!

[@toyaguy9263]

This was an amazing talk. You made it so easy to understand. Very helpful!

[@07231959942]

I appreciate that you stand on stage with a relaxed and natural communication style with your real stories of overcoming just that public speaking! Great job, great talk.

[@Martin-nj2ow]

Truly an amazing talk, one of the best I've seen about anxiety, also very useful tips to cope with it

[@intensepar8975]

Watched this video in the throws of a panic attack. Gave me some things to think about and helped to settle me a bit.

[@pirroplumbi352]

Thank you Dawn H., for your talk, and book, but for more importantly the ingredient, the recipe ....the results !! All the best!

[@thehappyhippy3133]

This is an incredible TED talk, thank you so much!

[@gracelilyyoshua328]

Thank U & GBU DAWN HUEBNER, Shalom! 👏👏👏💕

[@svenlundergard1]

This presentation is so well done. Engaging, intelligent and practical. Thanks for getting over your public speaking so that we can benefit from your intelligent insights. Just excellent and so helpful. This is so well done that one can hardly even believe you were ever afraid of speaking to groups. Congratulations for overcoming your fear!

[@angelpassing]

I loved this talk, it was beautifully and calmly presented and outlined discoveries I have made for myself over the years, but it served to remind me that there is an area where I still give into my fear, because I haven't properly acknowledged it AS a fear. So I'm going to take big notice of this talk and begin to turn things around in an area I've accepted as 'just not me' for way too long. Thankyou, and well done and thanks again :)

[@tumelomohale9104]

I loved how she was open. correct thinking is an ACTIVE PROCESS

[@bz3105]

Thank you for sharing this video and providing a pragmatic method for handling anxiety. In my late-30s, I have realized that I HAVE to get better at this to get where I want to be in my life...and I WILL.

[@seeker2716]

ABSOLUTELY FANTAAASTIC!!! THANK YOU SO!!! VERY HELPFUL and CLEAR!!! YOU ARE A FANTASTIC SPEAKER TOO!!! Much LOVE and COURAGE💛💚💙💜❤ Eva, Belgium

[@kznck]

Oh my gods this was the best talk I listened to on anxiety. Lovely voice and huge respect to her for overcoming her fear. I wish I could download this video. Will definitely watch this every day!! Thank you!

[@sarahcouture1794]

what an amazing video! next time I have a panic attack/anxiety attack I will remember these words!

[@elinorwilliams1659]

This is one of the first videos of anxiety that actually seem to have helped me, thank you so much.

[@treyeumph]

love this video, the information, and the presentation of it all. Your voice is very soothing and reassuring thank you for sharing your knowledge with us

[@patriciaharrington6057]

I needed this message! Thank you. So much!

[@elmert84]

Her voice was soothing and comforting

[@kennyethanjones.]

This was incredible! great structure, simple to understand and providing actionable steps to take. Dawn is true representation of the standards of which every TED talk should go by. Thank you for your knowledge!

[@ArturBrasil100]

Meu Deus! Que apresentação fantástica.

[@scarlett-fg2hh]

This talk makes so much sense. Very helpful. Thank you!

[@elfilalibouchra6247]

That was one of the best TEDx talks I' ve ever listned to. Thank you so much for sharing your experience and useful knowledge ♡

[@robynsilverman4029]

I loved this talk. You have such a calm, easy way of speaking-- and it made me feel calm and relaxed while listening to it. I will be using what you have discussed with some of the children in my life (as well as myself when I feel anxious!). I'm so looking forward to interviewing you for my podcast on the topic of How to Talk to Kids about Anxiety! And your new book- Outsmarting Worry- is such a great find for older kids. Well done. What a wonderful resource you are to kids and families. Oh- and that ending line was outstanding- "Being afraid is not the same as being in danger"- yes. Perfectly said. I will be repeating that to others and quoting you!

[@CVo83]

I loved this! I’ve watched it again and again and shared it again and again.

[@stormcoast910]

Thank you! You are an inspiration a beauty to look at.

[@youidme]

Beautifully presented. Thank you.

[@winnied87]

Beautiful speach and articulate presentation. Anxiety is a really awful state to be in. It's like being covered by a bubble that prevents from experiences in life.

[@abolalola7]

This is quite possibly the best explanation of Anxiety that I've encountered to date. Well done in distilling it down and sharing so much of your own experiences. This hit home for me and was like looking in the mirror. You are my spiritual animal! Thanks for your vulnerability!

[@daryl2665]

I've just realized that what I usually do is pushing away my thoughts because I'm afraid of them and I think it will stop it but my brain knows I'm afraid of something so I'm getting anxious anyway.

[@karthickdevarajan2102]

Daryl, you have to accept and embrace your anxiety. This way, it"s hold on you would gradually ease down.

[@nz9628]

Amazing presentation !! Really like how she gave the real examples and explained through it. Makes perfect sense.

[@meganh7526]

This is a great video. I've experienced anxiety since I was a kid but I really agree with her thoughts on coping and not letting anxiety get in the way of living your life. Honestly, I've never really "mastered" my fears, but I've learned to quiet the sound of my fears so I can do the things I want or need to do. For example, I've always been afraid of heights and falling, but when I was in Costa Rica I really wanted to try ziplining. I was shaking like a leaf the first time the clipped my harness in, and I was honestly scared at every single platform, but I made myself jump into my fear (for example, volunteering to be the first - okay, second - person on the course) and ended up having a lot of fun. She's right - the experience of doing things that trigger anxiety are usually nowhere as bad as your brain tells you they will be. My fears still make me sweaty and nauseated, but they don't stop me anymore, and little by little I know I am growing as a person.

[@paulinemcclean6947]

The best ted talk I've ever watched. Lovely

[@leosun-9833]

Thank you so much. Bless you. This helped me very much.

[@MahyarHallaj]

Her voice just calms me

[@TheMelly1969]

perfekt speach! Dawn you a a very well speaker with a good message. Very understandable for germans as well ! Thankx

[@VivekMishra-um7hl]

Best answer ever given on this topic.. fundamentally right

[@byronvasquez2416]

Thank you for sharing your research and knowledge.

[@rik-keymusic160]

Great presentation! i admire people who do great things like that!!

[@robertmccrudden6389]

Thank you .That mad alot of since .am just sitting in my room taking notes . Going to put these in to practice.

[@vondanewsome]

What an amazing talk!! THANK YOU!

[@advocate1563]

Great talk on this subject. Great advice expressed with clarity. ..

[@MMijdus]

One of the best talks about fear.

[@goldielockks8421]

When she said "there is hope." I couldn't help but cry...

[@superbreastman]

Brava! Very helpful and useful. Wonderful explanation. Thank you very much for your help.

[@lucfromczech]

This must be one of the best TED talks out there. For me - an anxiety sufferer - incredibly informative. Thank you.

[@christopherhaynes7601]

This anxiety is so painful

[@MegaMeanDean]

Dawn, I know it was hard for you and your husband to see your son's pain; I believe you guys actually did the right thing: you helped your son and yourselves feel the pain that his fears were causing him and you, and it reached the point of being unbearable and unacceptable. It became a MUST to change. Also, you did the right thing using his main motivator at the time to help him start his journey. I think you know this by now, but you said you think you started off wrong; I disagree. Anyway, I'm sure he is doing well now and I thank you for sharing your story--you have reminded me of the things I overcame when I was younger and you helped me reconnect with my strength so I can overcome my present challenges. Thank you so much. Love you and your family--you guys are and will be awesome in your own way.

[@patriciai.keller351]

Great speaker and anxiety issues so very clearly explained!

[@CONSTRUAUMAVIDAMELHOR]

Congratulations Dawn Huebner, thanks!

[@ofield6561]

Underestimating my ability to cope. Wow! That's huge!

[@therezac]

That was really helpful. Thank you Ms. Dawn

[@hamza3065]

Amazing presentation, actually a life saver

[@prerna95]

I liked the cognitive tools part. Externalising worry, thinking mistakes ( self doubt, overestimation and catastrophising thoughts )and exposure.

[@aminaleila836]

This is a great talk with useful tips and not just feel-good language

[@aijazwani3543]

Thanks. CBT and ACT helps.Face your fears. It is easy in long run.

[@grootebraak]

Thank you Dawn.Very helpfull.Finally something usefull between all the TED 'wisdom'...

[@swagatakarmakar5475]

This is the best talk about anxiety on TedEd so far...

[@willparsons32]

After watching only two minutes of Ms. Huebner's lecture on TEDX, it brought back a childhood memory - A memory that taught myself later on in life about not being scared...of the dark. When I would awaken to that bathroom calling at 2 or 4 am. Long after everyone was sound asleep and I had no one to watch over me while I was making that rather spooky journey half way through our darkened house to the bathroom. As a 6, 7, 8 and so on year old child, I was always scared something would jump out at me so I invented a friend... One who lived under my bed. One that no one else knew about and for that matter, could see. Soon after inventing my new friend and when I got that urge, I would slowly climb out of bed, call on my friend who nestled under my bed and to escort me to the bathroom. As years went on and I got older, the fear of walking through the dimly lit house wasn't so scary anymore.. It was time to let go of my childhood anxiety and say good by to my secret friend.

[@thelolilibra]

you give me so much hope.

[@mellowillow]

I found this video extremely helpful. Happy I ended up here.

[@valenna7317]

I love her metaphors! ❤️

[@cosmicserpent1879]

Your emotions act as a guidance system to help you through life. They aren't bad. Emotions react to the world and your thoughts and create sensations that help you figure out what to do. If you are holding on to thoughts or beliefs that are negative and harmful to you, even if you can't identify them right now, it creates a sensation of negativity. Try to determine what these beliefs are and be consciously aware of your thoughts and emotions. Untangling negative beliefs and negative thoughts will have a profound impact on your emotional health. You might have to dig deep. And never forget that you have the power to help yourself and you are loved.

[@MA-un1mj]

Cosmic Serpent ...so well said😄

[@micki1973]

Cosmic Serpent I somewhat agree but how can you say "you are loved"? That might not be true. Some people may not be loved by anyone regardless how lovable they might be.

[@minidocstv3339]

Micki God loves you and so does Jesus.

[@brendahettmansberger2905]

Cosmic Serpent, thanks for posting this. I really needed to hear it at this time...I have been experiencing high anxiety and depression in connection with a physical pain situation, among other things, and I know there is such a strong mind/body element in a recent escalation of the pain. I've also recently begun to grapple with the notion that a part of me perhaps doesn't believe that I can be, or deserve to be, healed. Leftover childhood self-esteem issues that I need to move past. But I believe that this pain is partly happening to allow me to grow, to teach me that I'm stronger, more grounded, and more deserving of happiness and love than I tend to perceive. So, I need to let go of fears about whatever's going on in my body and trust that I will find my way - through my own inner resources and with the help of others - to becoming more pain-free.

[@PhantomKaratOfficial]

Brilliant talk - so many useful tips! Thanks for this! :)

[@sarahjaelynn29]

Thank youu so much! what a great talk :)

[@KennM12]

she is lovely! what a great speaker

[@carolynlerch299]

Fantastic video! Thank you Dawn!

[@kamilasage0031]

Overall beautiful Talk. She's one amazing presenter.

[@shortsweetandsimple8863]

amazing👍thank you so much

[@intrepidtomato]

I love your voice. It's really soothing. Useful talk, well presented. I also had to desensitize myself to public speaking by joining Toastmasters.

[@angrybird24707]

This has helped me at my worst. Thank you for this wonderful talk ❤

[@aslynnhallett7542]

Liar