EVEN MORE of this silly Marlow Briggs game

[@veero7575]

All that Lyle has ever said about his parents is that they exist and that his dad pulled off his entire toenail and never acknowledged it

[@AxxLAfriku]

ORORORORO!!! I spend half of my day sleeping! ORORORO!!! Then I sometimes get up and tell you that I am a famous content creatorORORORORO!!! Please don't sleep while driving, dear vee

[@Top10WizardReviews]

He also said that he hates his mom but that may have been a joke. I think it's in the CTR series.

[@theoddheavy]

He talked about how his dad bullied him if he cried and instead of crying he pukes when he's sad. I think it was during a Swagalagin episode.

[@thatonegoblin7051]

That toenail was Lyle

[@SomeDumbKid1]

I can't remember which episode but I know he mentioned that his mom was very strict and his dad was very relaxed

[@SamuelCatsy]

Tomar didn't need college, he just needed to find friends who savagely bully him with disturbing hypotheticals.

[@useroffline6641]

to be honest that's all i want for my life

[@ixl911ixl]

He needed that time to develop the necessary mental fortitude to produce the Tomar Emeralds.

[@SamuelCatsy]

@@ixl911ixl Tomar sitting under a waterfall while Chris, Lyle, Zach, and Corey are like "Hey Tomar, what would you do if you were playfully slapping Jaxxy's belly and it opened up and bit your arms off like that scene in The Thing?"

[@ixl911ixl]

Samuel B I hope Chris asks Tomar what he would do with a tiny clone hitler. Would he fuck with it?

[@SamuelCatsy]

@@ixl911ixl It'd be more like Chris: "What if Jaxxy suddenly changed into a tiny clone of Hitler?" Zach: "Yeah would you still take care of her and say 'Oh baby darling I love you no matter how you look' but then she starts to talk about purity and stuff"

[@GoyBenius_0901]

Tomar's immediate concern when Chris said the Polar Express stopped at Auschwitz was kinda funny.

[@voiceofgrima1179]

The Poland Express

[@mrsasori8]

This episode is full of the lore of Tomar's childhood. Someone write this down so we can pitch Tomar babies to Netflix

[@Drumtariano]

Tomar All Growed Down

[@st0rmflake338]

We need a compilation of lore moments

[@trippinsciko]

It would be like muppet babies where you only see the feet of the adults, and his dad is always pulling off his toenails and not acknowledging it

[@derpadothebird2106]

@@trippinsciko just like muppet babies

[@edgarmorales9950]

Marlow Briggs is like the bastard love child of Dante's Inferno and 50 Cent Blood in the Sand

[@AdmiralAwsm]

Yet somehow better than either of those games.

[@Sighdafekt]

i don’t understand lyles fascination with blood on the sand when bulletproof was one of the best games on ps2

[@zephros5557]

The scalping discussion reminds me of when Tomar dragged Jaxxy on stage by her hair and sliced off her scalp because she asked him what time it was

[@AppliedGats]

This episode confirms Lyle's shriveled grinch heart was nature, not nurture.

[@m.g.trazor417]

I love it when Oney reminisces about his time in Ireland. The punchline is always some super Irish phrase like, "Would you ever fuckin' go home?"

[@trashpittv287]

I think the Leader of Chinus has the same level of diplomatic immunity as the queen of england. He is only limited in power if someone calls him Winnie the Pooh

[@gloriousphantom7905]

Tomar and Lyle: “Yeah I took this test to go to collage.” “Oh I didn’t, I thought it was a waste of time.” Chris: “S M O K E DA S M O K E”

[@vincenzo082]

And which one of these funnie boys owns the channel?

[@llab3903]

@@vincenzo082 you right

[@ratwithanaccordion9606]

Tomar saying he wasn’t entertaining genuinely made me sad :( I think he’s a funny lil jew

[@cal593]

HEY YOU GET OUT OF HERE WITH THAT He's a big man

[@WoolLafleece]

It just made me think of dear sweet Julian. Not being 'on' all the time makes those moments they are so much more funny and impactful. I'll never forget how he tried to sell me his wife on kickstarter, or the times he threatened to call my Mom, or when he threw Chris' phone across the room as hard as he could. Then there's just his infectious laughter when he's loling at a funny little penguin. Tomar, too, will be remembered in the future not for not being funny, but for being funny in strong, valued bursts.

[@kylezellers8623]

You should go outside every once in a while

[@alphalax7747]

@@WoolLafleece yea Julian literally said the same thing in the JSR playthrough

[@moldyskittle]

“Oh dude that’d be good let’s de-heel each other” *CUTS TO AD*

[@ichimaru96]

the boys should play space marine, it seems up their alley

[@BohdanKaiba]

That would be amazing

[@dbexodia10]

I second this notion.

[@chandraobrien324]

My god yes

[@pumpkin3397]

I third this notion

[@yoghurtlord1745]

I am eight beings in one body so I eleventh this notion

[@kiasmidt7678]

3:08 Fun fact: Lyle is actually right! In colonial america, europeans used scalping as fast proof of having killed someone. It was a concept that they introduced to native americans, offering rewards in exchange for scalps of specific enemies, be they other native tribes or colonists from other countries. They would pay in european money, which could then be exchanged for guns (highly popular among natives for protection and raids). The rates would differ depending on whether the scalp belonged to a man, woman, or child, with male warrior scalps yielding the highest reward.

[@mh-lh7jr]

8:02 "IT'S UNCLE AUSCHWITZ"

[@nothingland4994]

OneyPlays Special: Tomar's Jew School

[@Kai-bg4qt]

I want to give Marlow Briggs a big hug and tell him everything will be fine!

[@theborg6327]

I'm glad that after all that time as an editor lyle can finally show his favorite games on this channel, too bad he will never walk again after Chris poured boiling milk on his legs to prevent him from escaping the editing pit.

[@Tormental]

This is my channel.

[@lunaticave513]

Tormental Sigh, Tormental of yore. Problematic as usual hmm

[@Tormental]

@@lunaticave513 go away from my channel

[@RustyBrusher]

the Polar Express crew actually misspelt the project title, it was meant to be the Poland Express

[@QB2011]

I just spat gamer fuel and celery all over my gaming keyboard and gaming monitor.

[@shorewall]

All of the supernatural events are just the kids trying to be in denial. :D And the bell going silent is the loss of joy for life after they escape.

[@jdxawe]

Here’s something Chris probably didn’t know: The director of Robocop and Starship Troopers, Paul Verhoeven, also directed Showgirls.

[@sokoTV2]

The starship troopers book is good imo. Just seeing this militarized earth and how it grew into that is really neat. I don't think it needs action or anything, it's nice how it is. But artistically, the movie is so much bolder and uses the medium of film to its fullest extent.

[@jayfolk]

This crash-bandicoot-god-of-war still looks more fun than the uncharted ripoff.

[@legorocketraccoon8297]

Up until this comment I hadn't realised they were different games. I thought the guy from unearthed found the mask and got these powers.

[@GolfActual]

@@legorocketraccoon8297 That's amazing

[@otaconpunished]

Tomar talking about his mysterious benefactor reminds me of Great Expectations.

[@shorewall]

I wonder what the mysterious benefactor would think of Tomar now. :D

[@debruynvince]

I love Lyle's humor but I'll fight him about starship troopers the book was slow but the stuff about mech suit soldiers that could jump a damn mile and basically had portable nukes was fucking awesome. it was wordy but it was a good-ass book

[@mezzanoon]

There are amazing edits of the Hobbit that actually helps redeem them. My favourite, the Maple Film edits (check your favourite scurvy site) has one of the movies following Bilbo, & the other follows Thorin, making it feel a lot more like the book & really helping pacing.

[@yowatchie]

I want Tomar to dress up as Marlowe Briggs and princess carry me to a better life.

[@aidanleffler4897]

god i want to see chris play bayonetta

[@MCCanaryVideos]

hard take on starship troopers: the novel isn't necessarily bad, it's just very dry the movie kinda sets up your expectations for the novel to be this big action drama romp since it is the source material, when the book and movie are just two very different things I think the source material is fine, just not as approachable as a cynical quippy movie Instead of getting a dumb romp about space marines fighting bugs, you get a political drama about the how the future military can work in a theoretical libertarian political system, in space and there's a bug war too >.> edit: again that's not me saying the book is better, it's just science fiction literature; the movie is campy pulp-fiction. Hence why it is understandable to have seen the movie and read the book and be like "wtf why is this so... boring?" and vice versa, I could see someone reading the book and be like, "wtf, why is this movie not taking itself seriously?" The two just set completely different expectations for the other for what makes each good/enjoyable.

[@3lloGuvner]

Part of that is because the director disagreed with the politics behind the book so he set out to mock it.

[@asepsisaficionado7376]

Paul Verhoeven's movie is effectively attacking a strawman version of what he thinks the books represent. It's got its own merits for sure, but it's kind of an insult to the source material.

[@kirbyfanprime]

That's pretty much Heinlein's wheelhouse: books with interesting settings that are laser focused on the dryest world building, mostly politics.

[@Peasham]

@@asepsisaficionado7376 No, it attacks the book verbatim, you're just triggered because you agree with its politics. Which are Fascism, by the way. Like, it advocates for Fascism by the definition of Fascism, perpetual endless war for profit. So yeah. He can mock it all he wants.

[@MCCanaryVideos]

Remember chat. Don't take the bait >.>

[@dennismiller2630]

The kingsmen is getting a prequel lol

[@FrancesFarmer00]

SHHH! Nobody say anything about "The Kingsman", to Chris or Tomar. - zanpakuto man

[@BohdanKaiba]

I been binging Oney plays videos so when I was listening to this I thought it was old, and I thought to myself oh boy wait till Chris finds out about the 3rd film. And then it hit me this episode came out today.

[@nearlyrighteouslad3213]

The Starship Troopers book is not bad at all, wtf

[@dan_loeb]

Chris getting mad about usa high schools having cool classes on computer stuff is absolutely true in some areas of the USA. I took a class in macromedia flash 8 in high school. And 3d modeling. And electronic music composition. However aside from the flash animation class everything always used the wrong software. We used rhino 3d for 3d modeling and were taught to make everything with Boolean modifiers (union/subtraction). That's not a good software or methodology to use. For electronic music composition we used Sony acid and a library of 500-odd loops. That's also not how you should make music. I don't know how you can grade the class when everyone is using the same 808 acid synth as a base in their song. So yeah, typically those classes were fun, but terrible ways to get into those fields professionally. The software and methodology was based on what's easiest and cheapest to teach students. And if you know anything about flash they'll end up using you to teach the class. I'm honestly surprised we didn't just use some king of gif maker and Ms paint or even something like pivot animator. However, most schools don't get to offer those kinds of classes, at least that's what I was told. I'm sure more schools do now, but 10-15 years ago computer education before college wasn't a thing outside of specialized schools and schools that could afford to offer it. I'm sure big pushes for STEM education over the past decade have changed it now, but odds are if Chris was in most any school in the USA 10 years ago, he wouldn't have much available outside of home Ed, cooking classes, maybe a class about digital painting or programming in Java, or photo editing/ red-eye correction, but all the fun stuff was uncommon then.

[@Jordan-jd6ho]

Dan Loeb the Irish leaving cert exams are painful like Chris gave me bad flashbacks in this episode

[@dan_loeb]

@@Jordan-jd6ho I've heard horror stories of them. When I left high school it was basically just a matter of having good enough grades and doing a culminating social studies project that was VERY generous in terms of what you could do. I built a computer and did a presentation on how it's more economically viable. Others did stuff that was almost interpretative dance routines.

[@Jordan-jd6ho]

Dan Loeb that sounds pretty cool but strange. The way it is in Ireland is that you do 7 subjects and you can choose 4 of them from a set list such as woodwork, art, french and science related subjects but you have to do English, irish and maths

[@dan_loeb]

@@Jordan-jd6ho it really was. Still had the basics like math, science, English, foreign language of your choosing between Spanish and french, but then there's lots of cool stuff. I learned AutoCAD and forgot most everything about it in my junior year.

[@Deathstruck07]

This channel is just a sad rip off of Oneyng

[@marcitos_tacitos4727]

some people just try too hard to copy other peoples success smh 🤦🏽‍♂️

[@Blue-df3zz]

This comment needs 5.1 million likes

[@Logan1856-u7i]

Honesty I feel like these losers are a super mega rip off

[@mads-henningjensen7178]

Even down to the voice ugh

[@Auvisome]

How oneying 😡

[@SuperBoneCrush]

When Chris said he still has nightmares about the Leaving Cert I felt that

[@Jordan-jd6ho]

Nifph geography essays in the leaving cert would scar you

[@fishermanpoo8257]

Imagine having to sit the leaving

[@GREENMANYEA]

When we getting Oney Prays

[@l.e.b.3541]

*OneyPrays* - with Jesus!

[@buppo8931]

i want a 25-35 min video of chris and lyle de-heeling each other while tomar watches and worries

[@imaginaryfanboy]

that peter jackson marlow briggs oneyplays video trilogy should have been one video..

[@TABBYMUSIC]

I wonder if this episode will make me squee or XD

[@scarletbard6511]

Why not both?

[@truenickspivak]

Scarlet Bard don’t you dare even suggest that

[@MetalPhlex]

@@truenickspivak Thank you.

[@El-Burrito]

It made me squee

[@hoist9364]

It made me go hee hee hoo hah hah, as the funi man made me go weeee

[@rarristar]

Starship Troopers, an attempt at satirising a source material by a director that didn't bother reading the source material. Its a fun action film because the satire doesn't work.

[@Peasham]

Really? I thought it was quit an effective satire of Fascism.

[@inspectorjavert9868]

I literally have no idea where the hell this satire idea came from. I watched the movie and all I got is, bug evil destroy

[@matt1267]

The starship troopers book is amazing. I guess you have to have a college degree to understand it...

[@sadtoast6122]

They say baynetta and i can already see the thumbnail of the video .. Basically chris dressed up like baynetta lol

[@nedwardnobqop6568]

“You wanna know what kind of train this is?”

[@wage7621]

Poor Lyle, Chris and Tomar try so hard to ignore the shit he says.

[@GrandDab]

Send help, I've found a Tomar emerald and now the cops are after me.

[@Mythonaut]

They probably shouldn’t take book advice from Lyle If he thinks that starship troopers sucks.

[@pesterenan]

At 14:49 you can read the attack combo as "Kukulkan's Strike." I don't know about you guys, but I think Tomar has gone too far including this reference in the game.

[@VirtualCheetah]

I gotta say, if you were thinking of eating while watching this video, GET MORE FOOD, the first 6 minutes are absolutely DELICIOUS

[@_sleepco]

Life's not about the journey it's about the swing-a-dings you make along the way.

[@Icebolt854]

The whole point of the movie version of Starship Troopers is a parody of the american military industrial complex and its forever wars though. Same with how Robocop is a play on how evil criminality can ultimately be traced back to the rich and their corporations. The director isn't just haha silly and unique, he knows what he's doing.

[@opheliah1838]

So I'm native American, so is my dad as a joke I asked him why b00bs or anything else instead of scalps, he said. Cause they fat in the things wouldnt keep, scalps keep, hair dont go bad. Idk why I felt like I even needed to educate this. Sooooo yup

[@some_guy117]

Do you think any of our ancestors made little shrunken heads or scalps or something

[@CAMSLAYER13]

Big Ben is just the nickname of the bell as well. The tower only got a proper name in 2012 for the diamond jubilee, being renamed from the Clock Tower to Elizabeth Tower. The bells called the Great Bell of you were wondering.

[@JayandJay223344]

I know Lyles talking about Revengance but there's just something so weird about the sentence "you liked Metal Gear so you might like Bayonetta"

[@blitheringape5321]

it's weird cause bayonetta is better I say this as someone who has played MGR 3 times and bayonetta .4 times

[@SeaHorseOfYoutube]

7:35 LYLE SAYS THIS while toy unboxing videos and let's plays are the most popular category for kids on youtube.

[@rarristar]

Scalping, cutting into the skin at the base of the scalp and then pulling the hair, ripping the scalp off of the skull. Brutal.

[@knutandersson4606]

Gotta say i enjoy this new naming scheme for the episodes.

[@TheChildofAuraReborn]

We did the DC trip in middle school as well, it was actually really rad. We got to go to the Smithsonian and see things like the Hope Diamond and the movie props and stuff. We went to the Arlington cemetery too but one group of kids decided to be idiots and climb on one of the memorial statues. I'll sound lame for saying it but I think it's a fun experience and I wish I could do something like that again with a big group of people.

[@MrThemanofdoom]

Not gonna lie this is easily the best content on youtube.

[@DBAeterna92]

What’s the conversion rate from scalps to USD?

[@QB2011]

A couple weird google searches revealed that they can go for as little as $50 and much as $120. You lookin' to sell?

[@moldyskittle]

Whaddya buyin’?.... whaddya SELLIN’?!

[@DBAeterna92]

Grid I read that in the RE4 merchant’s voice.

[@anthonyvelasquez1277]

I definitely had to write a few essays for the SAT

[@flyde6521]

We had to write everything though

[@freak6988]

Yeah, same here. I remember like one section was mostly multiple choice, but the rest of the awful thing was just writing.

[@Operation_Bagel]

We had to write an essay on the SATs but it was only 5 paragraphs

[@paddy8511]

Idk why, but this is the best episode of the series yet

[@brianbread7698]

A new oney play episode? I'll buy that for a dollar.

[@lozo1006]

The more I listen to Chris, Tomar and Lyle talk casually amongst each other. The more it reminds me of the Super Best Friends

[@Reehehehe]

Tomar pretending he didn't have "college money" when just few minutes before he's talking about going to a private school as a kid lol

[@blitheringape5321]

given the state of the US, these pieces of info can be totally congruous with one another

[@Reehehehe]

@@blitheringape5321 fair enough

[@amoralexandria3071]

Please play Bayonetta, it’s easily one of my top 10 favorite games and my favorite soundtrack in any game I’ve ever played.

[@electrogecko3255]

Note to self no more eating lunch during oney plays

[@Woahahaha3]

Remember when oney used to add parts to his videos instead of adding “more” in the titles

[@truenickspivak]

No

[@taylororourke2525]

Series like this we already know will eventually be condensed to a long-form full play through anyway so why bother numbering it.

[@moldyskittle]

Who cares?

[@Dumblecop_Lord_of_the_Darkmeal]

@@4tado I don't watch a Grumps series unless I know it's finished, then I'll open it up in a tab and proceed to watch it over the course of a couple weeks.

[@komodotheism8519]

Is this a legitimate complaint and if so why

[@porkeyminch8044]

Hearing them discuss Cowboy Bebop fills me with joy

[@master_illitrix]

Last time I was this early, I was swimming around in primordial soup

[@owenwgoodrich]

chis sounded so distressed talking about art history

[@flyde6521]

Bro I'm crying right now. Please Lyle we dont eat jellied eels. Only sticks and small bugs

[@Sonicfalcon16]

I can see what lyle means about Polar Express where im like "that was a movie" when i was 12

[@MitridatedCarbon]

I'm on Chris side about American schools and their tests. In italy is five years of high-school, saturday included; you are not able to choose your own subjects (so you have to study fucking latin language just because it was introduced during fascism and never removed), and the final exam is divided into a written test and an oral test. the written one is done throughout three days and consists in an essay the first day (about a random subject, general knowledge, or an analysis of a literature piece) the second day a math test about everything you have done last year (and the years before, if they want to act like assholes), and the final day another test with questions about every other subject, which are basically mini-essays. then, you have to do your oral exam, in which you have to expose a thesis in front of all your teachers (the Internal Committee if you are lucky, if you arent is a bunch of strangers from other schools, the external committee) in which you have to link every single subject and every single bit of knowledge you have studied during the last year. and that's not enough, because after exposing your thesis, you have to answer random questions and do random exercises asked by each teacher. also if you are really unlucky (like what had happened to an old classmate of mine), the external committee may harbor some grudges for your teachers because the latter had failed their students. so it can also happen that even if you get a perfect written score you can get out of there with a measly 60/100 ( usually a perfect score is around 50/100) just to get even with your school. the only good thing is that the admission tests for university are a piece of cake compared to the last exam of high-school

[@Lifesizemortal]

I'd sooner drop out if that was the case here. High school diploma is basically worthless and not worth all that work Holy shit

[@MitridatedCarbon]

@@Lifesizemortal the funny thing is that here is also worthless (for a career at least) and teaches you abstract bullshit that has no usefulness in any kind of job except university

[@ratchetcityshinji]

I think it’s time to blow this scene Get Tomar and all his emeralds together Ok 3 2 1 let’s c o m m i t t a x f r a u d

[@Lapeno456]

as a 3d modeller, the hand shaking jar destroys me

[@kit-ekat8139]

Ah I love a good lore episode

[@foundfootage2477]

While I agree that starship troopers wasn't Robert heinlein's best work his other books are masterpieces in my opinion

[@Dream_Spark]

I truly hope it never ends.

[@atastybeverage8916]

10:15 American schools don't actually teach us anything important. I learned how to pass standardized tests to make the school board money and was trained to function on a factory work schedule. I don't know how to do taxes, pay bills, apply for a credit card, apply for a loan... Schools here don't teach you, and with how defunded they are, it's not surprising.

[@thegoose8663]

Same with russian schools 🤔 I wonder if this problem is almost everywhere.

[@LuvTonique]

Tomar and Lyle ignoring Chris about the smoke physics made me upset And also when Tomar punched Chris really hard in the eye and told him to stop talking while daddy is talking

[@DevonPalmer98]

Bayonetta’s gameplay is so fun, Chris would love it

[@klg9549]

This has been such a fun little series, I gotta say EDIT: I also kind of agree with Chris on the SAT thing. On one hand I'm glad I didn't have to memorise a bunch of specific answers, but in the Scottish high school I went to you literally had to write timed essays for your exams. Like what the hell, who's going to write that well under pressure?

[@SWISS-1337]

I don't much care for this game, but I'd litterraly watch you guys play Pong. I pray for more DingDong and Julian.

[@qliphalpuzzle5453]

Chris blows his Irish fury against the British right off the bat

[@DreddLypso]

The background are indeed insanely detailed

[@SuperTunnelBoy]

I really wish these episodes were numbered

[@masterj3344]

Tomar quoting Tank was the best possible ending for this video.

[@ihatejamon]

3 2 1 Let's jam

[@TsubasaGeass]

Apparently there is a prequel of Kingsman coming out

[@BDFishandGaming]

The King's Man

[@pentelegomenon1175]

@@BDFishandGaming The Prince's Boy

[@Letsplay1332]

I'm shocked Lyle didn't go to college, he's so well spoken

[@nearlyrighteouslad3213]

Are you serious? The average American college student is not well spoken at all.

[@Letsplay1332]

Really? Maybe not during, but after right?

[@rubyjune1930]

As someone who has pulled off their whole pinkytoe nail many times, yes it grows back

[@cartoongrump]

OneyPlays series for Bayonetta 1 and 2 would be awbsome. Also Wonderful 101.

[@lmpst7915]

Kingsman 2 was meant to be two movies and completely different. Kings Man is coming out soon, they are doing another spinoff in Americaland before Kingsmen 3

[@SkilesHasFun]

I would actually love to see Chris play Bayonetta. Even if Lyle plays, it would be cool, but I kinda want Chris to actually play it.

[@skulkbones76]

...get everyone and their stuff together, okay 3,2,1 let's jam!

[@Henchman.24]

Get the IV, give me Marlow Briggs straight to my veins

[@Letsplay1332]

Tomar's rant about the British made this for me

[@solomon4968]

I need a compilation of Tomar's most philisophical moments

[@pancakeslapp]

Alright boys, this isn't the episode to watch while eating dinner, will tune back in to hear about Chris' deheeling

[@PauperPaul]

Yeesh. Our Senior trip was a two week trip across Europe for $1200. Not that I wanted to go or went. Was unaware that some schools just never took kids places.