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@kobe513 жыл бұрын
I totally agree with the "i just speak my mind" folks. Best advice is to walk away...
@TheWizardOfWords3 жыл бұрын
You have to give each relationship what it needs, and sometimes that is distance.
@dramafan084 жыл бұрын
“...Our relationship isn’t that level. We’re not personal like that.” “Pull back. Be less friendly and more professional.”
@heidis46774 жыл бұрын
I am definitely one who says too much...I want everybody to be my friend. It has never worked, wonder why?! Thank you for your great content, I always learn something.
@chriswilson28343 жыл бұрын
i am the same
@christianrodriguez17203 жыл бұрын
Lol it’s worked for me plenty. Certain people can pull it off.
@escobar86172 жыл бұрын
This channel is gold. I’m first generation Hispanic college graduate and this channel has helped me navigate the “corporate world”. Thanks man I appreciate what you are doing.
@TheWizardOfWords2 жыл бұрын
Happy to help, Escobar--very happy :)
@JazzyJ967713 жыл бұрын
I've always had a problem standing up for myself, mostly because I grew up with a Mother who would get louder, more aggressive/scarier every time I would stand up for myself, this would intimidate me into being quiet and when I would call her out on it, the whole parent-child dynamic would dominate the conversation. Today at 24, I have a supervisor at work who is *exactly* like my Mother in this regard and I psyche myself up to go stand up to her, then when I go up to her I freeze & can't defend myself, I hate it.
@TheWizardOfWords3 жыл бұрын
Jazzy, can you give an example? What do you want to "stand up to her" about? What is she doing, and does it affect you?
@JazzyJ967713 жыл бұрын
@@TheWizardOfWords she has a very rude & aggressive tone of voice & every time she speaks to me like that I just get upset but never do anything about it & she picks apart everything I say “wrong” & critiques me for it, but somehow she thinks she’s always justified for it. It affects me in the sense that I feel nervous & sick every time I have to work with her
@OneNationxUnderDog Жыл бұрын
@Jazzy J It sounds as if your supervisor's overly aggressive tone and criticisms are likely triggering that same parental fear, due to having parents like mine who get loud, critical and scary any time they aren't fully in control of the conversation. I can see why even a simple convo with your Supervisor would feel like a nightmare! I've found myself in that situation too and had to learn to separate my anger towards my parents from my Supervisor's criticisms so it wouldn't feel so personal. It is hard to do, but with negative or hurtful people/co-workers like this, I've found the best response is quietly Smiling back at them, and deflecting into the next subject. Repeat what they said, look like you are in deep thought, and compliment them for "bringing this to my attention". They want to get a reaction and see you struggle or get upset, but all you'll give them is a friendly smile, a "Y'Know, I will work on that. Thank you. You are always so knowledgeable and I so appreciate your insight." What can they say when you handle it like more of a pro than they are? They will realize you are too enlightened to pull down into the dark, and will find someone else to do this with! Stay strong and Never let them see you sweat!
@Stlouisbartending Жыл бұрын
Incorporating certain skills learned here immediately changed old ideas that weren’t serving me. I was causing my own problems, which is perfect because I’m the one who can change my reactions, my feelings and my thoughts, too.
@MayThereBeWorldPeace3 жыл бұрын
Yes!! Talking too much is the major trouble maker at work. Major.
@TheWizardOfWords3 жыл бұрын
Yep.
@annehughes46634 жыл бұрын
This is the best advice for work communication I have heard. Very detailed. I encourage people to watch the whole thing to get the most benefit!
@wendyposten88624 жыл бұрын
The “No Filter” lady you acted out?...I work with her exactly. JANET is her name, of course. Thank you, I needed this.
@brentboyden7714 жыл бұрын
Google.com.
@brentboyden7714 жыл бұрын
Google.com.
@brentboyden7714 жыл бұрын
Google.com
@indiabrooks49294 жыл бұрын
I have one too and her name is Janet too
@karmicsoul44444 жыл бұрын
I totally agree with what you have said. I talk far too much at work. HOWEVER, some colleagues DONT TALK ENOUGH because they lack confidence and rely on everyone else to speak up for them. These types are easily irritated or build up resentment because they are frustrated they cannot express what they want. I need to learn to reduce my 'communication expenditure' to some extent but it has opened a LOT of doors for me because if you dont TALK you dont GET.....Thanks Dan!
@ZivezeCoachingServices Жыл бұрын
I am learning a lot here ..thank you
@TheWizardOfWords Жыл бұрын
Patisa, please consider becoming a member of my channel. kzbin.info/door/5Zb02pmVD2VA7lnx8mV4gwjoin
@ZivezeCoachingServices Жыл бұрын
What does it mean ..is it constructive? Wow, thank you
@AlisonRuthless Жыл бұрын
Well, this hit home in a big way. A needed way. PS: I am not a person who says, "I speak my mind" but as soon as I hear someone else say it or some sort of variation, I automatically know that that is likely just another way to signal that, "Hey, I'm a jerk, but I'm going to pretend/tell myself & others its just admirable 'brutal honesty'." I call that BS.
@TheWizardOfWords Жыл бұрын
Prefacing a comment with "I speak my mind," or "I'm just being honest" is normally cover for "I am going to be tasteless and rude; I hope you don't mind." Not everything that comes into one's head should be coming out of one's mouth.
@Soylamarilyn Жыл бұрын
Yes yes Dan the slayer man 🎉
@KimitaDom4 жыл бұрын
I love how you edit your videos, it's so engaging and funny 👌🏻
@no1x8303 жыл бұрын
At times I have spoken my mind, thanks for opening my eyes!
@TheWizardOfWords3 жыл бұрын
Happy to be of help, No 1 X.
@sunnyflorida12 Жыл бұрын
I am now retired, however, I still find your advice applicable in my life. ❤❤👍
@TheWizardOfWords Жыл бұрын
Great. Most of what I teach is applicable to both home and work, with a little common sense of course :)
@kobe51 Жыл бұрын
Great content!
@eunicedetoiles99012 жыл бұрын
I work with some really interesting folk that have no boundaries or care for what they do and these tools are very helpful.
@killerkowalski79714 жыл бұрын
Informative AND funny ! 💯😂
@Luisa34134 жыл бұрын
I needed this video before 6 march. I messed up my whole work life for being opiniated. But I am so GRATEFUL that I saw this video today. I need to grow and I need to learn to think more before I speak. And I keep a lot to myself :)
@steffhaniemontero89634 жыл бұрын
kahanga-hangang istilo ng pagtuturo! Nakuha mo ang aking pansin upang makinig at manood ng lahat ng iyong mga video.
@laurabeigh2832 жыл бұрын
I love your Vids! They are entertaining and informative. Thank you for sharing.
@moniques13773 жыл бұрын
OK, I see this video is a year old, but I still want to say thank you for it! The specific examples, and the "translating" of what is literally said to what is heard / interpreted is very very very helpful. If you ever feel like branching out, tailoring your videos to neurodivergent ppl (those with ADHD, autism, anything else similar) would be amazing. I am someone who is misinterpreted ALL THE TIME, simply bc I don't understand what ppl are concluding, based on what I'm saying (and it's never good, of course)... but other neurodivergent ppl understand me just fine. We need translators, lol.
@TheWizardOfWords3 жыл бұрын
I've been asked many times via email and through KZbin responses if I would reach out to neurodivergent (thank you for this term) people with my message. I'm hoping they'll find me because I have no idea how to find them. There appears to be something about the clarity of the words I suggest that would be helpful. The most I can do is suggest to people who are neurodivergent that they recommend this channel to other people in that same group. If there is more I can do, I'm certainly open to suggestion and would like to help.
@moniques13773 жыл бұрын
@@TheWizardOfWords Maybe we're too good at blending in, LOL! There are a few big entities on various social media platforms (I know of a few ADHD and autism ones; Totally ADD on KZbin, for example)... But IDK how to effectively explain why they should take my (me, a random person they don't know) suggestion to watch & promote your channel. Guess I'll need to think about that one for a bit. If I think of anything useful, I'll send you an email :)
@ldmlhome Жыл бұрын
So very glad I found you - I became a member right away! The pinpoint accuracy of what you illustrate is what I see in my day-to-day and exactly what skills I need to focus on and I can see that there is much to learn from you. THANK YOU!
@TheWizardOfWords Жыл бұрын
Thanks for your membership and your support and your words. Words are my focus because I've found theory to be useless :)
@user-rf5pb7cx6z3 жыл бұрын
You're amazing. Thank you :)
@Rochellechelle234 Жыл бұрын
Thank you for these videos I find them to be very healing it feels great to finally understand the solution 💗
@JIL3n13 жыл бұрын
This is gold. Thank you. I am sharing this with everyone I love.
@christinehofilena79043 жыл бұрын
This is such a mandatory must see especially in the work force we have now a days.... We have so many talkers and no sense people at work::)
@SydMountaineer2 жыл бұрын
Right! Sadhguru says that in general, people talk too much, that if we cut down what we say by 50% it will greatly change our lives. I think that people forget how short life is.
@lydiay90304 жыл бұрын
This has shone light into all the styles of communication I was taught isn’t always correct. Thank you for sharing this content. This will not be an easy process, but this will change my dynamics of my work place and myself to the right path.
@thriftismygift84493 жыл бұрын
Dan, you are a beacon of light
@olympia.i_rea4 жыл бұрын
this is the most beneficial video on this topic I have ever seen! brilliantly created with clear and precise steps!
@TheWizardOfWords4 жыл бұрын
Olympia thank you so much. My goal is to create precise steps, techniques, words that can be immediately applied to facilitate mindful, effective, respectful communication. Thank you for your affirmation and please be sure to share these videos. Dan
@Su_aSponte3 жыл бұрын
Part of my job sometimes entails prolonged periods of time when a team has to focus on my instructions and stay in communication with me. There are times when I feel them losing focus and our flow begins to break down. I realize they may be weary, i get tired of hearing the sound of my own voice as well! My voice will become literally hoarse in those moments!!! Thank you for giving me some new strategies to practice to command the needed respect and full attention I need to lead us into a more consistently successful operation. I’m already seeing small improvements and I look forward to learning more!!!
@indiabrooks49294 жыл бұрын
Thank you! You are the answer to my prayers.
@TheWizardOfWords4 жыл бұрын
I hesitate to ask what you were praying for, India. (Just kidding--and thank you!)
@poormansoutdoors.67654 жыл бұрын
Dude.. you are awesome!!
@adamstubes4 жыл бұрын
Love your advice. Always great videos.
@coeniedevilliers87923 жыл бұрын
Great content. Thank you!
@MyUpMost4God3 жыл бұрын
OMG! You are so good! Thank you Dan. 5 STARS!
@TheWizardOfWords3 жыл бұрын
Thanks, Donna. That will help make up for all the stars the nuns DIDN'T put on my papers. Safe to say they either didn't like me or didn't get me. Lucky my mom thought I was cute or I would have been scarred forever.
@tonikennedy98124 жыл бұрын
You are brilliant
@marilynl25454 жыл бұрын
You're so smart..learning each episode...love your voices
@beautifulmonster4u Жыл бұрын
LOL!!!!... I am GUILTY of speaking my mind!! Thank you for pointing this out!... ugh.
@TheWizardOfWords Жыл бұрын
Beautiful, there is nothing wrong with speaking your mind, as long as you do it MINDfully, respecting the other person. As long as you aren't rude, and using the excuse "I'm just being honest." :)
@frankl.56764 ай бұрын
Brilliant video. Dan's EQ--just wow!
@TheWizardOfWords4 ай бұрын
Well thank you, Frankl. :)
@babbymcc3 жыл бұрын
wow where have you been all my life.... I didn't even know people like you were real or out there... Nail on the head again. You are in my head!
@TheWizardOfWords3 жыл бұрын
Thanks Bre. Make sure you keep it beating.
@coolcat63414 жыл бұрын
Loved it
@redlipstick8583 жыл бұрын
I wish I could pour all your great information into my brain, lock it in there then use it everytime i should.
@TheWizardOfWords3 жыл бұрын
You can do that, with a little practice. I fit right inside your brain, but you have to put me in there and feed me.
@marcelogirard32184 жыл бұрын
thanks
@kristinabambina61344 жыл бұрын
Ty so much for all of this omg. A minute in and I'm like wow this is what I needed today. Thank you SO much. Wow.
@mariacullati23713 жыл бұрын
I enjoy your educational videos very much.
@TheWizardOfWords3 жыл бұрын
Glad to hear that, Maria. Please share them.
@annstubbs2256 Жыл бұрын
This is a fab video thank you ❤
@ingridcandelas21753 жыл бұрын
You sre amazing!!
@TheWizardOfWords3 жыл бұрын
Ingrid, if you truly think so--please share these videos. :)
@nix2hy4 жыл бұрын
Oh god I’ve been doing it all wrong... ::proceeds to binge all his videos:: 😳😳😳
@TheWizardOfWords4 жыл бұрын
Donna, when you're done binging, would you share with all your friends and relatives??? Many thanks!
@LaurenceCaudwell4 жыл бұрын
Great advice as always Dan! Thanks :)
@keziasturdivant22218 ай бұрын
Not the dunce hat 😆 Dan you are absolutely the wizard of words!!!
@michaelwhite28234 жыл бұрын
Thank you. I learned from this and see how I have brought grief upon myself in the past. However, I will still pester friends asking them if I look fat so much they will say no to get me to shut up.
@TheWizardOfWords4 жыл бұрын
Well, as long as you are aware of what you are doing-- :)
@michaelwhite28234 жыл бұрын
@@TheWizardOfWords Thanks to you I will change and know what I am doing IN THE OFFICE. Best to you Dan. :)
@debwright31902 жыл бұрын
🙂🙂Great advice thank you!👌🏽👌🏽
@shauna68153 жыл бұрын
Not "I have an idea," but "I've come up with a solution."
@TheWizardOfWords3 жыл бұрын
Preferably
@humanitarianhero3 жыл бұрын
These are helping me in these difficult time
@TheWizardOfWords3 жыл бұрын
I'm grateful to have helped, Geann.
@rowenabisschoff2 жыл бұрын
Excellent advice. Thank you.
@TheWizardOfWords2 жыл бұрын
You're welcome, and I hope you subscribed, Rowena.
@wayne70713 жыл бұрын
Thank you for all your advice on this topic. I appreciate how you give examples of what to to say . It helps me greatly . I hope you’re well and once again thank you .
@TheWizardOfWords3 жыл бұрын
You're welcome, Wayne. I try to offer advice, techniques, scripts, suggestions that can be used immediately. Theory is great, but rarely immediately applicable.
@a45williams3 жыл бұрын
And learning a lot, think you!!!
@TheWizardOfWords3 жыл бұрын
Thanks, a45williams. Dan
@cuclele4 жыл бұрын
Thanks Dan ♥️ for answering my question
@christinabutchart29493 жыл бұрын
Thank You Dan
@TheWizardOfWords3 жыл бұрын
You're welcome, Christina.
@sddhvjlsdfhvjlsdfhvlhvkjsbnvs4 жыл бұрын
Nice explanation...keep ot up!
@redrobin76384 жыл бұрын
good info and and well done video - love all the transitions to emphasize points. BTW, i think that the white bookshelves would love amazing if you painted them dark red.
@MP-vf8qz3 жыл бұрын
I love this. This is the bomb! I always bombed out, now I know why. The only thing that was wrong was the color effects 7:31 , but you got a new subscriber.
@TheWizardOfWords3 жыл бұрын
Great M P. Thank you for subscribing, and please be sure to share these videos.
@bsk67078 ай бұрын
This is excellent.!!!!
@yasmineishtay10734 жыл бұрын
Well, thank you so much for all these tactics especially the cost-effect analysis. For the judgments and people being judging me, do I need to care? Of course, I need to pay attention for my language; however, people will judge anyway! :)
@PassportBrothasWearingWeave2 жыл бұрын
I really appreciate your video’s
@TheWizardOfWords2 жыл бұрын
Thank you Sagittarius. And I really appreciate your comments :)
@stephenprice50753 жыл бұрын
I just discovered your channel! Where have you been all my life?!
@TheWizardOfWords3 жыл бұрын
I've been somewhere out there. It could be a song . . . .
@helmutgensen47382 жыл бұрын
Thanks
@TheWizardOfWords2 жыл бұрын
Thank YOU, helmutgensen--very much.
@305heat_2 жыл бұрын
I need to play this for at least 21 days before my work day. At times I don’t want to seem stuck up, how would you communicate this way and also seem personable.
@SeaFlower382 жыл бұрын
Helpful
@Soylamarilyn Жыл бұрын
Delivered 😊
@vegaclimbike3 жыл бұрын
your vids are really good :) Thx
@TheWizardOfWords3 жыл бұрын
You're welcome and I hope you find them helpful. Please be sure to subscribe, like, and share.
@truno73 жыл бұрын
I love you!
@TheWizardOfWords3 жыл бұрын
Thank you Brian; I need all the love I can get. And right back at you. Spread it around.
@hayleyb467 Жыл бұрын
I love you two!
@Dreas_Redpumps4 жыл бұрын
Well, I’m the one that don’t talk much..and it’s still a problem..my supervisor use to say things like “are you okay?” Or “you act as if you don’t like you’re upset” blah blah blah...I’ll joke and play around a little bit only talk to a few people that think like me 🤷🏾♀️🤷🏾♀️ is that wrong? No, I don’t want to be there and currently working on a business..basically, I’m physically at work but not mentally 🤷🏾♀️🤷🏾♀️
@TheWizardOfWords4 жыл бұрын
You certainly don't have to talk a lot if you don't want to, SIS. But being attentive when people talk to you--being mentally there--is kind of important, don't you think?
@Dreas_Redpumps4 жыл бұрын
@@TheWizardOfWords yes, of course. I just don’t get myself involved in work place shinanigans, because when it’s time for me to speak 🗣 I want to be taken seriously..don’t get me wrong, I still laugh and have fun, but it’s only with certain people I’ve grown close to on the job. And even with that, I’m careful 💯
@biscottifigueroa64383 жыл бұрын
Great guy you have classs
@TheWizardOfWords3 жыл бұрын
Well thank you, Biscotti :)
@mrmanq95173 жыл бұрын
Great insight man😃 😄 😁
@TheWizardOfWords3 жыл бұрын
Thank you Mr ManQ!
@adamstubes4 жыл бұрын
EVERY ofc mgr on earth should join this channel. Workplace discord is a MAJOR problem. Ppl live whole lives in misery due to workplace discord, taking it out on family and strangers who just think they are angry psychos. JOIN!
@LadydogC Жыл бұрын
I shared, thank you for this one. When I stop laughing, I will try these out. HOW do you get them to stop talking about their life. I just want to work and have a good time at it. Negitive life stuff... killing me. Also this film felt like you were at my job today..
@TheWizardOfWords Жыл бұрын
Well maybe I WAS at your job today Lady . . . . Only The Shadow knows for sure.
@avelineb82394 жыл бұрын
Buhahahaha... On point and agree with the sticky! Great stuff. Have learned a ton from you thanks Dan!
@marilynl25454 жыл бұрын
Maggie will get better soon
@GodiscomingBhappy4 жыл бұрын
LOL!!!!! funny and painfully true.....
@nickw226894 жыл бұрын
*I just tell it like it is! Hur Hur!* These people don't understand that whatever they're saying is usually *not* how it is.
@HisWordisLife4U4 жыл бұрын
I had a young adult student who was always "telling it how it is" to my other students. She felt like she needed to "keep it real" and reflect reality because it was good for her fellow students. One time she called another student out in front of the whole class about something that did not concern her, so I asked her: Now why did you say that? She said many times people really needed to know things that they were too dumb to see. She believed that she was smarter than everyone else who just couldn't see it. I told her: THAT is SOOOOOOOOO NOT your job!!!! The class roared with laughter for 10 minutes; she never enlightened anyone in my class again. I didn't say it to get a laugh. I didn't say it to humiliate her, and probably should have taken her aside, but it worked. 'Telling it like it is' is a form of bullying and it is self elevating, putting the bully on an 'expert' pedestal.
@nickw226894 жыл бұрын
@@HisWordisLife4U Love this anecdote. You're spot on!
@deemarie86524 жыл бұрын
I really like your videos but why is it that after this video, all I can think of is that I hope you are a responsible loving dog owner who will get Maggie fixed? Thank you for the wealth of content you share and as I head back to the office after working from home for a few months, I look forward to using sone of the tactics you suggest.
@Blaxit20232 жыл бұрын
This is me. Adhd has ne talking like a lunatic. I don't need duct tape phrases I need duct tape🤦🏽♀️
@TheWizardOfWords2 жыл бұрын
Now that WAS FUNNY, MsMellyme :) :)
@hayleyb467 Жыл бұрын
HA!
@yurak28643 жыл бұрын
Great video! But one thing, we are not perfect and all do mistakes and if i say something more personal to my coworker (not offensive ) and I hear something like "Our relationship isn’t that level. We’re not personal like that" in reply, I would consider it as very rude and inadequate. * just speaking my mind)
@TheWizardOfWords3 жыл бұрын
You're right, Yura, that context is everything. If a personal comment is made, and it's the first one, why not let it slide, unless it is egregious, of course. People do make mistakes and I agree that it is a kind thing to do to cut them some slack. I would save the comment to which you refer for situations where someone's comments are way out of line and that person needs to be shut down. I appreciate your observation.
@karenlose12444 жыл бұрын
Check the text in your video. First Numbered list goes 1. 2. 2.
@TheWizardOfWords4 жыл бұрын
Thanks Karen! I appreciate that. I must have been asleep at the wheel!😯
@walterdiaz20033 жыл бұрын
I'm an ESL person and I once told one of my former supervisor: "You don't EVEN know 'x' tool " when I wanted to say "You don't know 'x' tool" 😂
@TheWizardOfWords3 жыл бұрын
I hope he/she laughed, because that was funny.
@MrCijuciju3 жыл бұрын
Dan,thing is.....people have these verbal patterns but are not smart or wise enough to see the game unrolling....meaning,you can be intelligent,wise and know the "tactics" of communication,but if others don't get the subtle signs or say this/that power communication,we can try our asses....only thing wirh f.e. my rude boss that works is-being quiet,not taking it to heart,knowing she's a rude,selfcentered snob who just won't get it.not the way caring people would. ...
@TheWizardOfWords3 жыл бұрын
Yes, no doubt about it--not every approach works on every person. In my opinion, the trick in all communication is to approach it with love, mindfulness, self-assurance and the conviction that if we do our best we needn't be concerned about the reaction of others. I was fortunate to learn that from my father.
@dominicbarnes7124 жыл бұрын
OMG Dan looks soooooo like Alan Cumming!!!!!! Am I wrong?
@Gibbsong1 Жыл бұрын
Wait is this a Tim Gund voice modulator? It sounds similar to his register.
@DJRod913 жыл бұрын
This felt like an educational episode of Portlandia lol
@TheWizardOfWords3 жыл бұрын
I'd research Portlandia, but I have more comments to check out.
@iokuok23 жыл бұрын
"I have an idea" or "I have a solution" : "that" type of language I respond to.... Can we get more examples of what "that" type of language is?
@TheWizardOfWords3 жыл бұрын
Iokuok2, as you watch my videos or go through my training programs, you get a more complete picture of the type of language I suggest in various situations.
@michaelelliott82683 жыл бұрын
How do I deal with people that "speak my mind" or "say it as it is" in the workplace when I am a manager and they are an employee?
@TheWizardOfWords3 жыл бұрын
You might remind these people that not all things that come through the brain need come out the mouth. "Saying it like it is" is generally a prelude to being critical. It is similar to "nothing personal but . . . " which is invariably followed by something personal. Tell the employee in question to reserve his comments for a private meeting with you. In that meeting, when he speaks, you use the "that may be but" and follow that with whatever you see as the way things are going to go and be done.
@roswelltaichiman4 жыл бұрын
Hello Dan O'Connor, Where do I send my video question to. Thanks, Brian
@makotokino272 жыл бұрын
This is really helpful. I know it’s probably too late but any chance we get a valid coupon for the VIP course?
@TheWizardOfWords2 жыл бұрын
makotokino27, please write Jean at jean@danoconnortraining. She'll take care of you :)