How to appear more confident and attractive | Professional communication training online

[@TheWizardOfWords]

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[@Kinmen100]

Thank you Dan, you are forever a precious gift to our world.

[@Stardust414]

It certainly seems you have found your calling Dan! I gain something beneficial from each video of yours that I watch. You're awesome 🙌

[@TheWizardOfWords]

Thanks Birdie; please like and share! Dan

[@donnalund770]

Ur so nice I just wanna hang out and drink a chai tea. ☺️

[@Briarxoxo]

The whole section about saying yes and being gracious/accepting offers really hit me. I realize I spend too much time making myself small. I turn down things left and right because I don’t want to trouble anyone and for so long, I thought that was the stronger choice because it showed I cared about the other person’s comfort. But I can completely see the difference. And also how it can be problematic to do that. Thank you!

[@jessitabonita]

I agree to an extent- after experiencing some people in my life who offered me something only to use it against me later on: it has me more vigilant and discerning to the motivation of the person who's offering me something. I suppose it's a form of "love-bombing." Now when EVERYDAY my coworkers offer to get me and everyone else something from the local corner store on their break, it wouldn't help me in the long run in my weight loss goal as I see them returning with loads of carbs and sugar. (When we have free coffee, water, and snacks...) So not only do I not want to be indebted to them, I certainly don't want to allow them to sabotage my personal growth and health goals. Neither is good for my wallet nor waistline. But of course, when I'm a guest, client, or customer somewhere else: I most certainly gladly accept a kind gesture! 😊

[@tarawalsh-arpaia3928]

I am so pleased for you. I know a woman who is a ray of light and crazy (good) humor and she always used to say to me: 'We should meet for coffee sometime.....But only if you want. No pressure. Only if you want.' Me? Want coffee and her company? At the same time? Hell yes! I often wondered where she got the message that anyone wouldn't want this. As I git to know her, I learned more about some hard experiences she had. But I made it clear: I always want your company, especially if there is coffee. If people are asking you, they want you there! You are a part of the festivity even if it's just a coffee. It shows you are a person of light that people want to have around them. Say yes and go enjoy your self as much as others do!

[@carolinetattoo4072]

It makes so much sense to accept the offering. I am definitely the "first" candidate in life! I just don't want to bother the other person to get lil old me a coffee so I think I'm helping not waste their time. Didn't realize it was slightly rude.

[@VallyVal89]

I feel the same. Made this error repeatedly!

[@carloparra9571]

The one thing I love about Dan is that he doesn't teach superficial communication skills... he also teaches the character we should possess or the attitude we should have behind the words... Btw, Dan I like the last part where you taught about the voice (I'm one of your customers who ordered your flagship course some time ago and asked you how you trained your voice ;) Just wondering do you now have a dedicated course about "voice"?

[@TheWizardOfWords]

Thank you Carlo. In re "voice" I don't have a course Carlo, though as you know from watching my course I do talk about finding your power tone by speaking from the diaphragm. You know--pick up the end of a table and try to speak, :) I would recommend googling videos about finding your power tone, and I'm sure you'll discover in depth techniques and when you do--share them here with all of us. Please. :)

[@tarawalsh-arpaia3928]

That is very well expressed. He is an excellent teacher.

[@juliea.244]

"There's no reason you should be under your chair unless you want to inspect the gum...", man, I love the way you teach it, unfortunately most of us never got "polished" on this stuff. I remember once long ago I worked at a bank and they video-taped their professional people in a sample conference so they could see themselves in the meeting. It is important stuff that influences so many aspects of our lives and understanding this makes a huge difference. Thank you for your videos!

[@andreaviola8675]

I love the look on Dans face when he talks about his brother

[@TheWizardOfWords]

Oh you mean Marty the SCENE STEALER? My 10-month older brother who is ALWAYS STEALING MY THUNDER? THAT BROTHER????

[@andreaviola8675]

@@TheWizardOfWords Hahaha We are so friends in my head Dan.

[@oljatiffani9139]

@@miranda951 me too!

[@andreaviola8675]

@@miranda951 I know right!!! You just know he is the absolute BEST to have cocktails and dinner with!

[@TheWizardOfWords]

Well, OK to all of you, but YOU ALL HAVE TO PAY for those cocktails. In THAT CASE--let's go!

[@vantra99]

Wow!!! I did not realize that by saying no is a rejecting act, thinking not creating problem or trouble to other. Taking note!!! Thanks Dan. You are master!!!

[@TheWizardOfWords]

You are so welcome, Van Tra.

[@olympia.i_rea]

Brilliant content! Your personality is very witty, savy and inviting! I am always left with a big warm smile and an uplifted spirit after every video!

[@TheWizardOfWords]

Olympia, thanks for telling me that. If I have made you smile and uplifted your spirit--I'm uber-pleased.

[@irishcountrygirl78]

Being gracious and saying "yes thank you" is so very Irish Mr. O' Connor 🤣🤣🤣, when l was a young l didn't drink tea, but for heavens sake if people visit Ireland, drink the tea, you are exactly right, you will be accepted as one of them if you say "yes". My granny would say "cupán tae?".... I hated tea, but in every house it's gracious and respectful, so you drank the tea. That is applicable for everything in life. People treat you better if you are gracious and open, not negative. Loved this episode.

[@WorkingProgress17]

When you come across people who are soft spoken, be mindful that they may be traumatized. This is how I've been around most people for most of my life. It was the result of severe childhood abuse. I am 43 years old and this is the first time I have found this type of advice that is tactical, not just words in black and white without any guidance on the body language and tone to accompany it.

[@cindyv418ify]

I love ur brothers dancing videos but ur my fav!!! I got 2 weeks to polish up my communication skills before we have to go back and physically work in the office !!!! Yikes love these videos and the skills are priceless

[@scotscub76]

I need a link to his brother's video! His dancing is so sexy. 🥰

[@mauimarianne]

A lady rescued me from the surf at Laguna Beach. I was so grateful I didn’t know what to do. I had an unopened bag of treats I’d brought from Hawaii ( they are very big on the offering and, the receiving) The woman refused to accept the treats as my way of thanking her. And as you said Dan, it really affects the social flow. In my mind, I would have accepted the treats and if I didn’t want them, I would have tossed them. I flipped from feeling immensely grateful to a bit sad and rejected. With this story, I never recall the rescue, without equally remembering the refusal of the treats.

[@susanwoodcarver]

Hi! I just found you about a week ago so I’ve been catching up on all your wonderful videos. Today was a special one because I was feeling sort of down. I’m a small woman but evidently I have a contagious loud laugh. I was at a restaurant with friends yesterday and we had a great time and I was laughing a lot which is good because I had open heart surgery four weeks ago. It was my first time out of the house. When we got back in the car, because we all drove together, one of the women said did you see how that other table was looking at us because you laughed so loud? I haven’t listened to enough of your videos to know how I should have replied. But, today I was thinking about what she said and felt badly. This video made me think I didn’t do anything wrong, because honestly, I don’t know any other way to laugh. So thank you very much.♥️

[@TheWizardOfWords]

I'd forget about your friend's comment, and continue to laugh as often and as loudly as you wish. You just survived open heart surgery, so you will probably always keep it in perspective :) :)

[@susanwoodcarver]

@@TheWizardOfWords Thank you for taking the time to respond. I so enjoy your videos and your open heart.♥️

[@MickieMuellerStudio]

Thank you! I learned some things from you today that I never thought about. Accepting what is offered and taking up space has been a challenge for me, the way you framed it here really clicked for me. I naturally have a voice that carries, and I can speak to group without a mic with no problem. I was recently asked to officiate at a wedding and when the microphone didn’t work the wedding planner was worried but I said, “It’s fine, I’ve got this,” and projected to the back of the room! LOL my reason for commenting is to tell you this, all my life I’ve been called too loud, motor mouth, been told to keep it down by the same people who wondered why I seemed to lack confidence. When you said it’s ok to be loud and be heard, and that it’s preferred, I just felt so validated, so thank you! I’m going to work on your other things you suggested this week, taking up space in my own life. How can we get what we want in life if we say no more often than yes with our voice and actions? You rock!

[@TheWizardOfWords]

Many thanks for your story, Mickie :)

[@nichecalhoun5513]

Love all your videos.I am vegan and I have to turn down all food but fruit and veggie bowls.Yes,I belong here.😊

[@msb1029]

Wow I have done this for years and I was really comfortable, I have always done well in my career with being confident but I always end up with some type of hater or bully calling me loud , acting like they can’t understand me, and trying to minimize my intelligence, or trying to talk down to me I actually recently started thinking I need to work on becoming the first candidate. Are you going to have new classes soon I definitely need to learn how to maintain my confidence when people are trying to tear it down

I WAS candidate number one and FEEL like candidate number one internally however, with watching your videos for years and putting into action what I have learned I am hopefully now more like candidate number two too the observer/interviewer. Thank you Dan for all your information on this channel.

[@zuhairamali2124]

I am the 'first candidate' who really want to be the 'second candidate'. I seriously feel awkward when in a group and I always behave as if I am from some other planet when people approach me. :( I really want to change myself into a better version.

[@mikeysonlyvanspage]

Dan, you're a genius, I can't tell you how glad and grateful I am for finding your channel. I've looked at many other similar channels but this is by far the best one. I will share your channel for sure.

[@TheWizardOfWords]

Many many thanks Campervan!

[@rebaataylor]

I always speak loud but that’s the way I have always spoken. My husband thinks I speak to loud. I am so glad to hear you say this! I love your videos. I taught my grandson to speak and he speaks loud and people are so attracted to him because of his openness. I taught me daughter the same thing. She is a leader and a very confident young woman. Thank you again.

[@TheWizardOfWords]

You're welcome, Reba.

[@Artst2010]

I do struggle with social interactions because I am shy. I have often been asked to speak up when I talk to others. This video is incredibly helpful.

[@TheWizardOfWords]

Happy to help, Artst2010.

[@MissMelissa0007]

I am learning so much from you. In all my years, I finally understand why my actions are not cool nor accepted! I thought I was being kind and gracious! Nope! I had no idea! I am so thankful to you for pointing all of this stuff out!! Thank you!!!!! :)

[@TheWizardOfWords]

You are so welcome, Faith.

[@TheFredrico77]

Youare a great teacher and you seem very kind and generous as well. May God continue to bless you and enlarge your territory. 🙏🏽🙏🏽

[@TheWizardOfWords]

Thank you so much, Dave. And may God bless you as well. Dan

[@monkncook]

I love your teaching. For the visual part, I find walking into a room slowly enhance confidence. A lot of us walk fast when we are nervous. Imagine everyone is scrambling entering the conference room for a meeting and there you are walking in slowly and scanning the room while doing it. There is a comedian that I love and he does exactly that. He walks on stage slowly and once he gets to the mic, he delivers his joke in precision. Love what you are teaching Dan I’m a fan.

[@TheWizardOfWords]

Absolutely Monk n' Cook--I've mentioned that in other videos and totally agree with you. This was a recommendation I gave to women who wanted to be treated more seriously, but it equally applies to men.

[@1rocknroy]

Two kinds of people: Poor people walk fast. Rich people walk slow. What's the hurry.

[@Dissolvingillusions]

There you are!! The breath of fresh air I needed this morning! Thank you for another valuable video, Dan.

[@TheWizardOfWords]

Well thank you Smoky Happy to bring that fresh air to you. Keep watching because there is more to come.

[@TrueHero123]

I have resolved myself to speak loudly, after being somewhat quiet and coming off as timid, which I am not. Now, my colleagues are telling me that I'm speaking too loudly when we're conversing about topics that should remain outside of the "office". Thanks for the great content, Dan. I cannot absorb your superb and insightful information quick enough.

[@TheWizardOfWords]

Well you can't please 'em all, TrueHero, so please yourself! Thank you for the compliment, and please share these videos liberally :)

[@every1readthis]

Got side tracked buying a house for a few months, glad to be back getting alerts for these awesome vids!

[@TheWizardOfWords]

You know every1readthis--It is possible to negotiate a house purchase, actually buy the house, move into the house, cook your first meal in the house, have your first good night's sleep in the house AND CONTINUE WATCHING MY VIDEOS.

[@Jazminksie]

You are so bad ass! Thank you so much for breaking this down. Thank you for saying its good to be loud and proud.

[@dawnmarshall1290]

I was in he'll at work today and angry! BUT YOU made me laugh! Now I'm in a good mood and ready to carry on. That how great you are!

[@TheWizardOfWords]

Well thank you, Dawn :)

[@susang.3045]

These videos are always so well done Dan, I find I can put them in action right away. Your content has helped tremendously!

[@TheWizardOfWords]

Thank you Susan G. Please like and share. More of these are coming soon. :)

[@cup_o_TMarie]

👏🙏💝Dan you’re a gift! Invaluable & now I don’t have to worry about always being too loud✊

[@TheWizardOfWords]

Right :) :) :)

[@thabisilendlovu472]

I've recently discovered this channel. I'm learning a lot from you and totally enjoy that you emphasise communicating in a loving way, in a world full of contempt and passive aggressiveness.🔥💪

[@tarawalsh-arpaia3928]

So true and well expressed!

[@almaalma3871]

This video with your brother dancing 🕺 bright my day! ☀️☀️☀️

[@TheWizardOfWords]

Yes, he just put out a new FB video of himself dancing around in the workout room he just built in his basement. He thinks he's SOOOOOO cool.

[@elainedoremus2688]

I was always told that visitors shouldn't put things on people's desks because it's a disrespect of their space. their space.

[@vasudhajain9438]

Your videos really do help 😂 proud subscriber here !!

[@clementekpo7606]

The first tip about accepting stuff is really informative 💯

[@TheWizardOfWords]

Glad it was helpful!

[@sheribeesler1444]

Your training is amazing and entertaining!

[@Su_aSponte]

Thank you, Dan!!! So valuable and affirming and applicable! I cheered when you described your feelings about quiet talkers!!! Countless times a week I have to ask my coworkers to repeat themselves and exhort them to communicate at an audible volume. Clear communication is crucial, unavoidable, paramount in all things but in our space it is absolutely essential!! Thanks for coaching us in how to communicate more kindly and wisely.

[@mikeymiller818]

This video may have changed the way I communicate. Thank you! 🙌🏻

[@TheWizardOfWords]

Thanks Mike. I hope I've made a positive difference. :)

[@jorgebaeza7863]

Great as always Daniel 👍

[@TheWizardOfWords]

Well thank you Jorge. I think I may know you. :)

[@brightpage1020]

You’re so fun to learn from, Dan! You make it so friendly and funny. Thank you.

[@TruthRocker]

Fabulous content Mr. O’ Connor!! 🎉

[@TheWizardOfWords]

Many thanks.

[@AlgisKemezys]

Loudly is proudly. Ty

[@spice8831]

Hmm I do turn down something often. I’ll note your advice. Definitely not my intention. Thank you for the insightful tips as usual.

[@fawnlyons1825]

You are amazing! Your brother has nothing on you! I love your videos!!! 😊

[@jodieiscool9351]

Gee. Now I know why I get annoyed with my neighbour. She comes over. She wont sit down. She paces. And NEVER accepts anything. I just want to say to her 'SIT THE F*CK DOWN AND HAVE A PIECE OF CAKE'...Im going to ways accept offers now. Great video Dan. I really love your videos. Greetings from Downunder x

[@AlgisKemezys]

I certainly belong here! Thank you :-)

[@robertdwyer4013]

Don a can't stop watching your videos. Thank you so much. 💓

[@TheWizardOfWords]

Thanks for letting me know, Robert, and I hope you share these. You've seen the trailers. Now if you ever want to watch the movies--go to my website danoconnortraining.com. and check out the courses :)

[@starfiresag5383]

Love your content!!

[@AAPAI_24]

Marty! Omg, Dan...! This intro is too much, had me laughing hard. Your content is exceptional, I am sharing with friends and colleagues (expect a stand off at a Board meeting soon...). Thank you for improving my life as a freelancer dealing with obtuse stakeholders often.

[@TheWizardOfWords]

Happy to help, 1998!

[@aikidoRick]

You are the man Dan. Great video.

[@TheWizardOfWords]

I appreciate that, Rickie! Thank you. I hope you find it useful in your new endeavor :)

[@aikidoRick]

@@TheWizardOfWords I will. I reference your videos all the time with my Aikido friends. I told my neighbor just today to subscribe to your channel, because your strategies work to bring about a better communication environment. Thanks Again!

[@maca8521]

There's no explaining some people's taste. You are more handsome and awesome plus your videos are superior and in a whole other league of superior!

[@TheWizardOfWords]

Well thank you, Maca; I appreciate your comment.

[@kimsault6566]

I did that in my last interview...and its true I did not feel like I belonged. Thanks for putting a light on that for me

[@TheWizardOfWords]

Happy to have helped, Kim.

[@abhinavlahiri]

Great video. Was just wondering, can you give me some tips of how to talk in a presentation as I am not the most vocal person. Love the content

[@TheWizardOfWords]

I'm doing an entire course on public speaking. Stay tuned Abhinav.

[@abhinavlahiri]

@@TheWizardOfWords k thanks

[@rikuyamamoto4299]

Hello Dan, I have been sitting on the edge of my chair while looking at you and listening very closely. You gave enlightening , amazing answers to questions I have not even considered to ask. I am so glad that I found a true gem in your channel. Thank you very much. Your charisma is infinite. You are just golden. Greetings from Germany.

[@TheWizardOfWords]

Many many thanks Riku, and greetings from both Ajijic Mx and Fargo, North Dakota!

[@Viv8ldi]

I was told during school and Training that I should never ask for anything more than a glas of water, and the letter was just okay if you wanted to act confident (here in Germany). But maybe that was bullshit and you shouldnt work for a company that rejects you because you answered honestly to a question they asked you (like when you said "yes I would like a cup of coffee").

[@TheWizardOfWords]

Galliano, I have trained for a German company--in Germany--and had a totally different experience. Yes, I would suggest you not work for the company you are describing.

[@annamillan2903]

You are, really very good at what you do and your self confidence makes you glow.

[@SharaMiyoko]

I love your advice, you really are a wizard of words!

[@dianamendez6155]

Just stumbled across your videos. Im so excited about the content and the Tools you give to better communicate with others under any circumstances. Thank you for sharing this vital information. ❤

[@TheWizardOfWords]

Welcome aboard, Diana.

[@kathyauriemma3548]

I love your videos! Everything offered is so very helpful to me. Plus, I share your info to others, because I think you are fabulous!

[@TheWizardOfWords]

Thank you for the encouragement and for the shares, Kathy.

[@jonaed8561]

Wish I watched this a week ago I already rejected the cookie..smh

[@TheWizardOfWords]

OH NO--well try not to do that again Jonae.

[@Tara_Kunicki]

Thank you for these tips Dan! I'm actually going to use this for family gatherings on my partners side. I tend to get shy and quiet

[@TheWizardOfWords]

Go for it!

[@sarinalight7422]

I was just speaking to a friend about ‘not gaslighting others’ I really appreciate your KZbin Channel! Thank you,👍🏼 Keep them coming🤗

[@sunshiningdaydreamer]

Always a pleasure to learn from you!

[@TheWizardOfWords]

My pleasure to have you hear, Sunshining!

[@AlgisKemezys]

Loving words rule! Ty DC 🙂

[@sunnyflorida12]

I learned so much from this! Thank you for all your wonderful advice. ❤

[@tessapiotrowskikristensen8058]

Great video! It reminds me of a scene from 'Blazing Saddles' where Carol Arthur (actress) starts her speech very softly and then adjusts her volume during council meeting.

[@TheWizardOfWords]

Omigod, I'll have to go and watch that--again. There are so many memorable scenes from that movie (and a couple you'd like to forget, but can't).

[@tessapiotrowskikristensen8058]

@@TheWizardOfWords The bean supper scene?

[@Yin-ok6qp]

Make yourself belong to the place, graciously accept your place and the things offered to you. These insights change my perspective and make my life a lot easier easier at work. Dan THANKS THANKS so much from the bottom of my life. 💃💃💃

[@janicekennedy2047]

At The ambulance company where I volunteer, we have a crew room that consists of a TV watching area and a kitchenette area where members can sit and read or study or work on their laptops. We also have a life member who comes in very confident and very loud to speak to whoever or whomever about whatever. She may be confident but its also disturbing to the members who are trying to work or watch TV. So I guess my question is, how do you deal with that kind of confidence? (I usually just crank up the volume on the TV but that doesn’t always work)

[@TheWizardOfWords]

Well Janice, your co-worker could use a little common sense. You don't yell in a movie theatre. You don't shout over others at the mall. A confident person speaks in an audible tone with a humble authority. But yelling or raising one's voice in the setting you describe does not signify confidence any more than whispering in a sleeping child's bedroom signifies a lack of confidence.

[@christineburke3146]

Thank u for ur videos. U have helped me so much! I’ve used communication techniques I have learned from you to step into my personal power. ESP with some very toxic coworkers. It’s amazing and I mean amazing how the dynamic is changing! And u know what? As my confidence is rising I am attracting quality people into my inner circle!! It’s nothing short of life changing and I’m not exaggerating one bit. Thank u soooo much :)

[@TheWizardOfWords]

Christine, expect to see your name in lights. You have accomplished exactly what I'm hoping for as I help you as best I can with the words I think will help. Dan

[@j.s.8286]

Thank you Dan! I would grab that pillow to put behind my back and move in closer. If I'm not comfortable, I'm not happy. If someone offered me water or coffee I would always say yes. Especially during an interview. I would say thank you and use their names. I'd also thank the receptionist after leaving an interview and thank them and wish him or her a good day. Remembering names is hard for me.

[@TheWizardOfWords]

Remembering names is hard for most people, Judith. I use the image system, but sometimes forget the image :) :)

[@j.s.8286]

@@TheWizardOfWords 😀

[@patriciaharper390]

BRAVO!!!!

[@TheWizardOfWords]

Thank you, Patricia!

[@mauimarianne]

Fantastic information! Thank you.

[@kunduzrouse5088]

Very helpful. God bless you!👌 ❤

[@Cocokimi74]

Arigato for your advice🙏🏼📿 I’m raised in Japan but live in United State 15 years. My country is not good to be raise up to speaking voice. We are soft voice so I am still straggling to speak up front of people. I need more practice to do that raise my voice😊 sayonara 👋

[@TheWizardOfWords]

Yukimijaynes, since it is your custom to speak softly, that's perfectly fine. However, very softly PROTECT YOUR BOUNDARIES. You can use every technique I give you, but in a somewhat softer tone :)

[@LaGabellaS]

I just love you!! Thanks for all you do!

[@TheWizardOfWords]

You are so welcome Shanell; please like and share

[@Blessed_Beyond_Belief]

Great advice ! Thank you , just found your Channel and I have learned so much and enjoy your personality 💕💕🙏🏽💕💕💕💕💕

[@TheWizardOfWords]

Welcome!!

[@Kevin.Halter]

I have naturally been catching myself talking more loudly as I grow as a confident person. This video is great confirmation of my journey as I recently questioned whether or not I’m talking too loudly now! Naaa! 😂😂😂

[@TheWizardOfWords]

Kevin, if you're overdoing it, people will let you know; you won't have to guess :) :).

[@empresszoe9351]

I learn something new with each video. It'll come in handy for entering a new work environment.

[@TheWizardOfWords]

Great to hear!

[@marwaeldiwiny]

Dan! I am so grateful for this life changing advices, I am introvert and it was it easy to deal with most people especially the part of Mark your territory how brilliant is it advice, I used to do it recently to let people know and also giving people the benefit and then what you want you say huge thank you Dan!

[@kimrodgers692]

This is one of the one in 50 of yours that I disagree with your advice. But thumbs up for your brother. 🕺 👍 😘

[@TheWizardOfWords]

Fair enough!

[@christinepadua593]

You changed my life for the better. When are you doing TedTalks?

[@TheWizardOfWords]

Maybe one of these days, Christine :). Right now I'm just doing "Dan's Words" and hoping people will spread the words :)

[@Little_Sidhe]

I just started a new job and I eyeballed the instant coffee and it honestly looks so bad that I'm going to have to keep declining 😄

[@winkledub]

so glad i found your channel! you are teaching invaluable skills!

[@TheWizardOfWords]

Thanks, Jenna. Please like and share whatever you find of value.

[@lacpt01]

Your brother's dancing cracks me up!

[@TheWizardOfWords]

Yeah, me too :)

[@maricelaaguirre8486]

You are my hero. I love your videos

[@TheWizardOfWords]

Well thank you Maricela. I hope you share them!

[@Nicolegreenrich]

Thank you sooooo much... For years, I’ve been self conscious about communicating. You are truly a master at this.

[@TheWizardOfWords]

Very happy to help, Nicole!

[@yt7377]

Love this video!💜

[@laureenweyell8801]

Dan, you are simply awesome! Wish you were in Australia 🇦🇺 you are inspirational, thank you.

[@TheWizardOfWords]

Thanks to the internet, I am Laureen and am happy to be here (there) :)

[@ShellyLynnJohnston]

Good morning, Dan 😁 I was having difficulties communicating with a new co-worker. And when I would try to suggest, or approach things in a different manner she would either not participate. Or would continue doing what she's doing anyways. Or she would leave it, then go back and do it again. For example the night routine, tempo, pace, division of night chores, answering call bells and morning cares, for example. About 3 weeks ago, when I made it a priority, to talk to her about how our lack of communication means that we are going over the same ground, after I discovered that she had done checks, without us deciding which hallway we're doing? Which is normally done with courtesy. She informed me that I was a difficult person. A difficult person to work with, and apparently many of my coworkers, she talked to about it, agree with her...? I worked with some of these people for 11 years. It kind of was like a sucker punch?! 🥺 It made me cry, truth be told. Which she couldn't believe?!! I know I'm a strong personality. But there is no I in team!! (In healthcare we have to communicate and be able to trust our partner. And to know where our partner is in case of an emergency).. But I've never been called difficult before?! I took it as an opportunity to grow. And I asked her for examples, so I could know what it was that I had done or said, that had offended her so badly? She just kept telling me that it didn't matter. But it does matter. At least to me, it matters because it is my goal in life to live the most authentic, personable, honest, caring, truthful, deliberate life that I can!! 🪔 I recognize that we all can be difficult given the right circumstance or situation. And sometimes, we may need to be difficult to stand up for ourselves or to originate a point? And perhaps she recognizes me as difficult, because she herself is difficult too? 😆😇 And maybe, I invoke something in her that she doesn't like? Regardless, I found your videos about a week and a half ago. And I just wanted to say thank you SooOOoo much, for all that you say. All that you do. All That You Are. And all that you share!! 👏✌️💚💓🎉 I really needed this video today!! 👍💚 Stay Blessed 🙌🙏 Shelly

[@TheWizardOfWords]

Shelly, not knowing you or the person with whom you're communicating, it's hard to comment helpfully. Having said that, I would question why this individual would be talking to other co-workers about you and then telling you her version of what they said about you. WHAT???? This is the worst type of back-stabbing that can occur in an office situation. First of all, why would she need to buttress her position by saying that "many agree with me." That type of comment is always suspect--on many levels. E.g.--Why talk to others? Why repeat their thoughts about you? Why would you believe she was ACCURATELY AND HONESTLY interpreting what they said? Shelly, if I were you I would totally ignore that part of the conversation. Don't go to others to see if she is telling the truth. Don't do anything. There is a word for this woman (and there may be many other words that are positive or negative) but there is one word that fits her from what you've stated. She is a gossip. Deal with her kindly, of course, but as little as possible. Unless you absolutely must correct or advise her, DON'T. Just leave her be. And btw, when you asked her for specifics and she gave you none--that should tell you a great deal. She's not worth your time or your tears. Carry on and approach your job with joy!

[@gypsyruth6336]

Golden! Thank you Dan, such great explicit directions. Gypsy

[@lanagryshchenko6596]

So awesome!!

[@5maz]

Dan, you are amazing and oh so funny. I love your sense of humour and grateful for your gift, that you share so freely.

[@puneetasadani8923]

Solid feedback but depends on the situation. when you are someone who has been given an ultimatum by your boss at work to move over to another group that has triple the work you’re going to get assigned to do while others sit pretty not doing much work - you don’t want to be part of that team nor do you want to stay in the job I rejected someone offering me cake at the team building bc I’m only human. How do I act like I want to be there when no one in my place would do it. That I can assure you. Reality in the workplace, sucks!

[@mahmudaislam5428]

I really like your videos. I wish I could see you in person. I wish you were my friend. I wish I could seat down with you and tell all the bloody stories at my work 😂. And you would just lough and give me all the advice of the earth 🌎❤️

[@TheWizardOfWords]

Maybe one day! :)

Hello Dan. I love your videos and have been watching and used/implemented your advice from them for a good few years now and WHAT A DIFFERENCE THEY HAVE MADE! From job interviews, people who disagreed/tried to argue with me etc etc etc Please can I ask though, if there isn't a table on the side or a small interview table in the room, where do I put my bag/file so I'm not putting it on the floor? Some rooms only have a small table and it feels awkward putting my bag on it for an interview. Thank you

[@TheWizardOfWords]

If I were you, I'd slide it under my chair or place it to the side of the chair. Sometimes that's all you can do :)

@@TheWizardOfWords Thank you so much for replying too me! Thank you for all your great videos that have helped me SO much in my life! I also have some of your books too.

[@Nicolegreenrich]

I wish I could thumbs up this video again.

[@TheWizardOfWords]

Well Holy, you could always send it around to all your friends and suggest they give it a thumbs up :) :)

[@nataliya2641]

Your brother looks stunning!

[@TheWizardOfWords]

I'll pass that along :)

[@zannybananny5995]

Love this ☝️ one Dan!

[@TheWizardOfWords]

Many thanks Zanny. BTW, we might be related. My name is Danny Bananny.