OPENING UP: POSTPARTUM DEPRESSION | MY STORY | OLIVIA ZAPO

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Opening up a bit to share some of my struggle lately. I hope this helps anyone who is going through the same thing! We're all in it together. ❤️Thank you for watching!
Article mentioned | symptoms of postpartum depression: www.postpartump...
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Hi, I'm Liv! I'm an Ohio girl living in a California world with my newborn son, two dog babies and husband. I make videos on fashion, beauty, lifestyle, food, fitness, and overall health and wellness. Some of my favorite videos to make (that you'll see a lot!) are haul videos, lookbooks, try on videos, and style/beauty essentials. I LOVE to shop, socialize, hang out at the beach, and spread love & happiness. I believe life is too short to be anything other than your happiest self. Welcome! ♡
*This video is not sponsored.

[@oliviazapo]

Opening up a bit to share some of my struggle lately. I hope this helps anyone who is going through the same thing! I know this video is pretty long, but I felt like everything was really important to say. We're all in it together. ❤️Thank you for watching!

[@lilspinny]

Olivia Zapo this came and the perfect time for me. Thank you so so much for sharing this. You have really helped me face this and helped me feel like I’m not alone. KZbin can make everything seem so perfect and beautiful and you are just so real and authentic and I really appreciate it ❤️❤️ so much love to you!

[@gauriramroop329]

luving yur videos but this 1 jus hit me!! and so love how u r concern about others that r goin through the same problem as u... it goes to show how ur beautiful inside as well :* we all should be here to support u 2, much luv.

[@samanthamaldonado7335]

From the bottom of my heart I just want to say thank you for this. PPD has been hitting really hard and I was feeling that my baby would be better without me. I decided today to see what other women go through and your video was the first I clicked on and now I feel more positive and tomorrow will be better. Thank you for your bravery. God bless you.

[@saradantas1029]

Olivia Zapo lovely video. I like all the others, but this one is deeply honest and beautiful. Keep strong girl 🌼💪

[@Destinyg20]

I am going through it right now with a 4 year old and a 4 month old. Thank you so much for this

[@allaynabuzzard2658]

I’m speechless. This is 100% what every new mom needs to hear so we all know we’re not alone. I wish I could “like” this video over and over again! So much love for you and your videos! ❤️

[@PrettyBalanced]

I so agree. Its such a bold thing to talk about!

[@haleyfrost9520]

7 weeks postpartum and this is really hitting home. I've struggled with it my whole life, but now even when I should be so happy, it's hard. Oh my gosh, when you started talking about pumping and how the husband doesn't have to go through anything, that hit me so hard. Like someone finally said it.

[@ladyluckaz]

Especially the part about feeling guilty about feeling that way too. Took the words right out of my mouth.

[@sabatham]

Exactly. I tried to explain that to my family and they thought I was talking behind my husbands' back. They could not understand that I was not angry AT him, but at the way things were. It is so hard. As a mom, our lives change completely when we have that little one... good and bad. Physically, mentally, and our time is not our own. But our husbands don't have that. Yes, things change for them as well, but not in the same way. I just had my 6th baby and for the first time I am able to recognize the depression.

[@katharinegriffin9282]

Yesssss

[@louisedoucet8022]

Just a quick note on all the guilt you expressed about other's struggles. Someone else's struggle does not diminish yours. It's just different and it's just as valid. Try to let that go. Depression sucks enough without taking on the problems of others you can't control. Hugs. You're very brave for sharing your story. Thank you

[@celticgroup]

reality check taking care of a child is the hardest job in life

[@PrettyBalanced]

hardest!

[@AdrianaGonzalez-ty6ws]

Say that to my husband. He thinks and says that I have it easy. And he expects me to do absolutely everything around the home. Pretty much all he does is work and bring home a pay check.

[@LibertyMadison]

Adriana Gonzalez I’m sorry😔

[@violetgabriella1990]

@@AdrianaGonzalez-ty6ws that sucks!!! You mom's don't get days off and there's no pay!!

[@hithere141]

@@AdrianaGonzalez-ty6ws leave the baby with him on the weekend. Just wake up and leave the house, if your breastfeeding get a pump. Leave him to look after the baby for a whole day then see what the prick says

[@nhiroe9611]

Just because you’re complaining doesn’t mean you don’t want him or love him. I’m 33 weeks and hate being pregnant. At first I felt so bad for complaining because I kept telling myself that so many people can’t have children and I should feel so lucky to be able to even get pregnant. But since speaking to my ob, I’ve been told I might have antenatal depression. But that DOES NOT mean we don’t want or don’t love our children. Don’t be too hard on yourself. Sending you lots of love!

[@livmor3442]

I am 31 weeks and am nervous about PPD because I have dealt with depression for a large part of my life I and have not seen many videos on PPD even though coworkers have said they have seen their wives go through it or have gone through it themselves. I am so glad that you posted this video. There is such a stigma on depression and ppd and its good to know and hear that it is ok. Thank you so much for being so brave and sharing your story. Means a lot to those of us who may deal with the same thing.

[@nicolecollins2]

I just had my third son and this is the first time I am experiencing some baby blues. I will say I wish I educated myself on this before hand because it has been scary. I never felt so sad in my life the way I was feeling. Stay strong and never feel judged. I think what helps me was my husband was so there for me and he accepted my feelings and made me feel validated all the time. He made me not feel crazy and he always told me it’s ok.

[@KwincyS]

I wish all the people watching the new "24 hours pregnant" videos would watch this. Pregnancy and babies seems to be a status symbol or cute trend and they don't realize all the things that come along with it

[@oliviazapo]

Amen!! 🙌🏼 It's so much more than just a bump in a cute outfit.

[@dipikabansal530]

@@oliviazapo when u got a baby boy ..how old u wer???

[@ivette9748]

I crave a baby and my husband and daughters beg me for one more but after my third I felt how much I struggled after to feel ok to feel normal. I still struggle with it my youngest is 9 and am terrified to get pregnant and not be able to care for a new born.

[@jessicarandall5352]

Thank you for this! 6 weeks postpartum and I can relate so much. Thanks for breaking the social media bubble of perfection and being real. Love you videos, so relatable.

[@sabatham]

I, too, have tried making a video about this. It is not easy. My baby is 2 months old. I am experiencing ppd yet again, but am thankful to recognize it earlier this time. It feels so similar to what you said. I don't always have such feelings of despair, they hit suddenly. And talking about it, even just to a camera, really does help.

[@txsunflowerss9586]

This video makes me love you even more. I’m a new mommy of a three week old precious baby girl. I totally understand what you mean and I’m glad you made this video . I hope it get better for you. You’re a great beautiful person this is something you need to get off your chest and help other woman you’re amazing.

[@lucky5alex]

Thank you so much for opening up. I suffer from depression and am pregnant with my first. So even my pregnancy has it's up and down days. It's really comforting to hear someone open up about depression and see how amazing they still are as a parent.

[@danmaltiner]

oh honey i had to stop the video to write this. im currently pregnant with my first baby, and i just want to say THANK YOU for being open and honest to the world about REAL life! im also prone to anxiety and depression and have struggled with it since childhood. i have ben so scared that i would get depression when baby is born, but the thing is i feel like when other people go thorugh it and talk about it openly like you are doing now actually really really helps! having depression does not make anyone a worse mother in any way. i truly feel like we need to be allowed to have these emotions and talk about them so we can get the love and support we need. im rambleing now iknow, i just really wanted to say thank you and also woud love to give you a HUGE hug!!!!

[@kacymassie2277]

So much yes to this video! I’m 34 weeks and I have been battling depressing through my pregnancy. I’m so nervous that I will have this and I honestly am trying to prepare for it. If it happens it happens and I will deal with it when it comes if it does. My husband took on a new job and now he’s gone for 3 weeks and home for 1. So that’s been super hard as well. But hang in there, you’ve got this, we’ve got this!

[@rianneash123]

Thank you so much for posting this!! I gave birth to my son in July and I have postpartum depression! It’s very hard being a stay home mom for me because of it. I started a KZbin channel to help with my depression and it has been working, which is great! I love how you explain the depression, that’s exactly how I feel!! You give me the courage to feel okay today 👍🏼

[@annettelaterra3908]

I know this video is old now but I’m 8 weeks post partum and currently dealing with ppd so thank you for making this bc I no longer feel alone

[@alondralima9442]

How r u now

[@kennat.8623]

This is my first time watching one of your videos and I just had to subscribe. Thank you for being so open and raw ❤️ I’m currently 4 weeks postpartum and I’ve been dealing with PPD. I’ve felt like I was alone but now I know I’m not. Again thank you so much for sharing, everything you’ve said is so true!

[@nadinerivera3307]

Thank you for this video. I been thinking for about 2 months that I could be dealing with postpartum depression. Watching your video made me glad that I just made a doctor's appointment. All the symptoms you talked about I've been experiencing. I went through it before with my first daughter and I went to therapy and was prescribed some meds. What I think really helped was talking to someone who wasn't judgemental. Being a parent is not easy, especially when you don't have much support. Blessing's to you and yours.

[@jordanmerghart149]

Watching this video was like looking in a mirror. I felt like you were talking about me. I love my daughter more than I thought possible but I have felt the fear, frustration, sadness, and guilt. My husband is so supportive and a great dad but I sometimes resent his freedom. Thanks for sharing and being so vulnerable. It’s great to know I’m not alone and not crazy.

[@thenoxwitch]

I can relate so much to this video! Thanks so much for opening up your heart 💓. I just gave birth two months ago and I’m fighting postpartum depression and anxiety and by watching this I feel that I’m not the only one and that I’m not alone. Much love for you!

[@americandreamrevival]

Aw Olivia

[@pkfamily7297]

Oh, bless your heart for sharing this. I am a few weeks away from giving birth to my third and final baby, and the possible postpartum depression is the part that scares me most. The fear has actually woken me up in the middle of the night with anxiety "attacks".

[@selee_nium]

My favorite part was when you said that you’d rather help one person or even two. If everyone worked to try to help at least one person the world would be a better place. I appreciate that(: love you stranger (: haha

[@anniekaitlyn7074]

Your son is staring at you with the purest love. Sometimes we forget to see ourselves through their eyes. Stay well

[@katiej2899]

💗 This is why I have loved finding your channel. It's why I loved your pregnancy and birth videos, not just because I am currently pregnant as well. You have a wonderful way of sharing real life, the nitty-gritty that others are afraid to share. We need this transparency in life, between friends, between family, between our fellow women. We need more of this. Thank you, Olivia. Please don't ever feel bad sharing the truth, you will have so many people supporting and appreciating you. You got this, momma!

[@taeoxtae]

Olivia! You are absolutely beautiful inside and out. Thank you so much for making this video. I love this space that you have created where you can share what motherhood is really like. As a gal who wants to start a family this is what I need. I want to know if I experience what you're going through that I'm not abnormal and that it's OKAY if I don't have an instagram perfect "snapback". There is way too much pressure to be perfect so thank you for sharing your story. I hope you'll do updates on your journey 💕

[@cldundon7228]

I actually watched this video while I was still pregnant. My son is now 6 months old, and I'm just realizing I've got the anxiety side of post partum issues.. thank you so much for this video and the article you linked. I really appreciate your willingness to share your experience.

[@JessicaLaurenkehoe]

I had really bad ppd when I had my daughter. No one warned me of this and I had a really hard time handling it. I didn’t even want to touch her. It was horrible. I’m pregnant with my second one right now and I’m definitely more aware of what could happen. I hope you get through this the best you can! I’m so glad you were able to open up about this tough topic!

[@Cw-iq2hy]

I truly appreciate you. I’m pregnant now with my first and I appreciate the realness. I’m sick of people acting like everything is perfect. Women need people like you who are willing to put your truth out there whether life is great or sad. You are an inspiration. Please know that I think you are absolutely stunning your beautiful in and out. Thank you 🙏🏼

[@Cafecitochatswithyasmin]

I’ve had PPD after having my first child. I’m pregnant with my second. I was so afraid of getting pregnant again bc of the fear of depression. Praying for you. We’re not alone. Stay strong 💪🏻. You got this.

[@sarahmitchell4724]

I first watched this when I was pregnant and said I'm so happy there's no way I would get ppd but then I had Jude and was hit with it bad. But being able to come back to watch this video and relate makes it so much easier. I'm not alone. Thank you so much for posting this Olivia.

[@littlewifethatcould]

Thank you for this video. It honestly feels nice knowing all of us aren’t alone. I went through PPD with my daughter (my first child), because I was expecting a med-free vaginal birth and an amazing breastfeeding experience. Come to find out, I had a breech baby who refused to flip even with intervention, I needed a CS and then breastfeeding was a STRUGGLE. I found out when I went to breastfeed that I have flat nipples so my daughter struggled to latch. We tried to make it work for 2 months and one day my milk disappeared. Out of no where. I felt like my body had completely failed me and I got so depressed. No one understood expect for other moms when I finally opened up. My own mom had no idea how I was feeling. She didn’t understand how I could be so upset. Which made things worse for me. Getting up, putting makeup on, getting actual clothes on and doing something with my hair and just getting moving helped snap me out of my bad days. So I just encourage you to keep doing that as well, just make yourself do things that make you feel better and you’ll get through this. You are NOT alone. You are an incredible mom. PPD doesn’t define who you or your abilities. ❤️ I’m now pregnant with baby #2, and I’m determined to have a successful VBAC, and a much easier and better breastfeeding experience. I honestly cannot stop thinking about the things that went wrong with our first. I’m honestly so worried breastfeeding won’t work again and I’ll need a CS or something and I’m trying to prepare myself mentally for things to go differently than I am planning for. I’m hoping things go better this time around because I’m terrified to have PPD with a newborn and a 5 year old. I don’t know how that’ll go...

[@katiebatcheller9405]

Thank you for making this. As someone that suffers from Bipolar 2/depression/anxiety I am absolutely terrified (yet desperately want) to be a mommy. Because of you and your courage to make this video I feel so safe and understood, even outside of motherhood. Hormones for me are my worst enemy so seeing your troubling times and how honest and candid you are gives me strength. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for posting this. I feel like I have a voice now!

[@noulor3571]

I’m super late on this video, but thank you for your transparency. I’m going to be a first time mom and these are things that cross my mind. I’m happy to see and hear that this is being talked about in a positive light and that these emotions and thoughts are valid. Thank you. Praying for healing heart and mind. 🙏🏼😊

[@MackenzieLyons]

This gave me so much comfort going into motherhood. I dealt with depression about 2 years ago while on birth control and it was the scariest feeling. I am now 8 months pregnant and so beyond excited to be a Mom. I’ve been having some really down days and been worried about postpartum depression and the guilt with all of those thoughts is overcome. This video was such a great reminder with how to deal with such difficult emotions and to remember that I’m not alone❤️ thank you.

[@staceylynn7919]

Just stumbled upon your channel and this video in looking for more relatable moms to follow. I am 8.5 months postpartum and you are speaking to my soul, thank you! I’ve found it nearly impossible to express what I’ve been going through, and you hit it right on. My PPD manifested itself more in anxiety symptoms, ultimately leading to actual panic attacks. Luckily I’ve gotten help and am starting to feel more like myself. Good luck with your journey, I will be subscribing and following along :)

[@autymnweaver2151]

Gosh I just love your channel! I am 34 weeks pregnant with our first and Ive been so afraid of feeling this. I love my wonderful husband and family but they have never felt depression and keep saying 'its in your head, just choose to feel something else or don't think about it. You have a great life!' but it isn't that easy and I've not even had our baby yet! Some days are so much harder than others and they just don't get it. You put all my insecurities, nerves and thoughts into words in a way I have been unable to do so far and now I have a way to preemptively help myself through this and explain it to my husband so he knows how I'm feeling. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for being so real and honest about this. Seriously you have helped me in so many ways already! Please keep blogging and whatnot, it is a relief and wonderful to hear it laid out as plain as you have been able to make it here. You are wonderful! I am so grateful for you!!

[@juliabasler6680]

Thank you so much for sharing this! Its because of people like you that have made postpartum problems less of a stigma. Thank for opening up to your viewers, and thank you for the advice on how to talk about even the little things make a difference, and that "it's ok to feel that way". From all the mamas that struggle with postpartum depression, anxiety, or OCD we appreciate you!!

[@MonikaJay7]

Girl your amazing! And so real.. it’s so hard to find someone I enjoy watching who is 100% real. And I feel like you totally are so keep up the videos pleasee! I’m 24 weeks pregnant with my first baby and I find your videos super useful😘 ❤️👶🏻

[@c.m.8590]

GIRL. You're not the only one who has had issues with birth control. I got off of it 3 years ago because I was having similar issues to you. I'm just grateful that both of us were able to realize it was a huge part of the problem. Also, I love your videos. I feel like we're a lot alike with our planning/ researching/anxiety/guilt and you've become a major resource for me in this preconception phase of ours. I already struggle with anxiety to the point where that's currently my biggest concern about being pregnant. You're amazing and are helping so many people. I know you've definitely helped me a lot.

[@emilypeterson10]

immediately one of my new fav youtubers!

[@kanymkulova_dinara]

I will save this video and watch it after I have my second baby, I constantly need a reminder like this one, that it’s ok to be depressed sometimes and that I’m not alone and we are built to have this life with all of it’s ups and downs! God doesn’t give us hardships that we are not capable of dealing with!🙌🏼 Thank you so much for doing this video, it will help to so many people out there!🙏🏼🤍

[@karenquijano7135]

So I started following you because of all your maternity videos which really helped with giving motivation to dress up and change my attitude towards my pregnancy. After this video I’m a subscriber I’m in my 2nd trimester and I’ve never had anxiety/depression and this video helped me so much. So thankful for you being so real and just know you a strong mama ❤️

[@qb2496]

Sitting here pumping after being up all night with my 2 week old thats backed up and fussy. This video was exactly what I needed. Just to hear the words that I'm too ashamed to say or admit to myself. To be able to shed tears with you knowing that there is no judgment and that we have a shared experience meant everything. I have an awesome support system. My mom has been amazing and even took her own maternity leave from her job to be home with us for the first few weeks. It's hard to open up to my fiance because of our cultural differences, he has a VERY opinionated mother who already "diagnosed" me with PPD before I even had any symptoms. Like I was literally smiling and happy and loving on my baby, but if I had one difficult feeding or was snippy in the morning after a rough night, she would tell my fiance that I had postpartum depression. She visited us for the 1st 3 days out of the hospital and I felt like I was walking on eggshells the entire time. She criticized EVERYTHING I did. She called normal newborn crying "colic" and had a solution to every "problem" that she found with my perfect baby. The pressure to keep it altogether was immense, even after she left!! That rippling effect has contributed to problems with breastfeeding and even added strain to my relationship with the father because I have to always fight to hold everything together in fear that he tells his mom anything that can be used against me. And now that I have this sadness, this irritability, I make myself anxious with the thought that it might be PPD because of what that would mean to his family. Mental health isn't talked about, its frowned upon for you not to be perfectly well-adjusted at all times. On the flip side, most of my family struggles with mental health issues and we are very open about it. I'm stuck in this tug of war with myself and I feel like the baby and I are losing. We are getting a raw deal and I'm not sure how to cope with it. I keep pushing my fiance away instead of letting him in. I'm sorry for ranting, this video just helped me sort through my thoughts and be brutally honest with myself. Thank you for helping me.

[@arlenita0303]

Olivia, you are so brave for putting your emotions out there. I am one of the viewers that started watching your videos when I found out I was pregnant last October and I love all your baby-related videos. Out of all that I've seen, this one is the most I'm paying attention to because it's real, and it happens, and it's so important to not keep this to yourself. You are brave, and strong, and are a beautiful soul, and even if your family isn't there with you, you have a supportive husband who is there for you and a beautiful baby who loves his mama. Keep going girl, you got this. Sending hugs your way! ❤❤❤

[@jlburke09]

I HATED THE MINI PILL!!!!!!!!! Oh my word!!!! It made me feel CRAZY and totally anxious - it was AWFUL! My sister experienced the exact same thing with it, too. It took me a while to clue in that I needed to stop taking it. Hadn't been on anything since. Decided to go natural and haven't been on hormonal birth control since! So sorry to hear you have been struggling, but know that you aren't alone...you are totally normal having these emotions! Don't feel bad or guilty! Being a new mom can feel VERY lonely at times for most - a lot of friends have told me just as much, and I will likely be experiencing it myself come June... Thank you so much for sharing. Keep being open and honest and real about the struggle of life cause we all go through it in some form or another. You are so strong and should be so proud - you will WIN this fight, girl! Thinking of you and praying that each day gets easier for you. Much love!!! 💕 (I just noticed this vid was from 6 months ago...lol. Therefore I hope looking back on this vid makes you smile when you see just how far you have come and how you beat the struggle yet again! 😊)

[@ChocoaholicGirl]

You are such a beautiful person inside & out! Thank you for sharing your story, you are so genuine, kind, & compassionate. Your words are supporting so many others going through this & we can’t thank you enough for putting this out there! I’m a mama of a 9 month old boy who is my world! For me, building relationships with fellow new moms has really helped develop that support system you were talking about needing. As well as a person who you could eventually trust to watch your baby from time to time. Places that worked for me to meet other moms was signing up for any baby classes/events. Such as a baby music class, baby/mom yoga, swimming, library/community free program events for mom & baby etc. I’m here to support you from afar as you’ve been supporting all of us with your channel! All my love!

[@genesis141000]

I appreciate all the honesty Olivia. New moms like myself need this to overcome anything that comes our way. I didn’t even think about this until you brought it up. It’s very informative. Thank you!

[@GT-0524]

Thank you for this video... I’m 8 weeks postpartum. I started feeling the unusual anxiety and depressed feeling around 6 weeks postpartum, and it seems like it has gotten worse when I started taking my birth control... I came to realize it is possibly making my anxiety and depressed feeling worse and it added the sudden mood outbursts. Feeling this way scares me because I never felt this way before. I usually can shake these feelings off, but today is the second day I felt anxious, sad, and angry all at the same time.

[@krystlprice3543]

This is beautiful, raw, and honest. I am 5 months postpartum and suffered from postpartum depression. And like you I felt alone even with my family by my side. I wanted everything to be ok but it wasn’t. Now I have more good days than bad but recovery is not a straight road. Thank you for sharing this. Helps remind me that I’m not alone.

[@kayladeforrest4745]

Honestly, your video does not make me scared of getting PPD- it makes me feel more prepared. I've suffered from depression for quite a while, and I know that means I probably have a higher chance of getting PPD, so hearing you talk about it, helps me in some weird way. I'm absolutely loving all your videos, but especially this one. Thank you 💙

[@julietcook1068]

Thank you for putting this out there! Depression is such a liar! It can be difficult to shut off the loop of terrible things it makes you tell yourself. I’m not sure if what I went through was ppd or just extreme exhaustion (I had to have an appendectomy on my baby’s one month birthday!) I’m 7 weeks pp and one of the biggest helps for me has been having a good mom’s group on Facebook. It’s a place to vent with women who understand what you’re going through, but it also helps to put things in perspective, because hearing what other people are going through often makes me thankful for being in my situation and not theirs.

[@Naturally.Maggie]

This isn’t the first video of yours that I’ve cried through....Your car accident, your labor, your pregnancy video with your sister in-law.....so maybe I’m just a crier? But thank you for this video 🙏🏽💛 I’m also an only child who has struggled with depression in phases since I was young and I haven’t had my baby yet but for some reason I just really feel like postpartum depression is something that will be apart of my journey....And your video makes me feel not so afraid of that. It’s normal and I’ll get through it. Thank you for that reassurance and for sharing your story. Truly. 💙

[@lindseygomperts1697]

I know that this is an older video for you, but for me it is the best heads up I could ever receive whether I'll need it or not (19 weeks pregnant). I want to thank you for opening up and being real so that others can know in advance that everything will be ok. You're the best, and you are good people💜. Continuing to watch your journey!

[@helensagar3588]

I am a new subscriber to your channel and I have binge watched your videos. I have enjoyed them all but I think this is the bravest video I have ever seen. I know you have your second baby now and he is lovely and I hope you have had a better time with little Arlo. I do admire you and you will have helped so many mums. Good on you.❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

[@xocaribabe]

No judgment here. I was hospitalized for a week on a psych ward five days after my son was born. Post partum depression anxiety psychosis is not a joke. Thank you for sharing your story it helped me.

[@constantinaroedder5319]

Olivia I’m a new subscriber and thank you so much for sharing this story. I’m currently 36 weeks pregnant and have been feeling a lot of these feelings through my pregnancy and I’m glad seeing someone like you who is so positive open up encourages me to open up with my significant other a little more. It’s scary and I’m glad you made this video

[@claudina130]

It's okay to feel that way. Your baby is beautiful, I hope you're better soon. You have all my support, you are so beautiful. We love you ❤

[@Marz-xh7ni]

I am 31 weeks pregnant... I am so scared about post partum... I've been watching your videos for about 3 months... Thank you for sharing your story with us... Thank you for opening up... You are precious & so sincere.. 💓 I don't have family close either... So I know that feeling of feeling alone... You are amazing!!! Always remember that!!! 💙

[@brittanyl167]

You’re amazing in every way! Thank you for being honest and sharing your heart, that’s not easy to do! I’m currently going through the crazy hormones of being 40 weeks pregnant...about to go into mommy hood and this is so helpful, to know about PPD and be aware of. I’m already feeling tons of unsure emotions and feelings of “Can I do this? Will I have enough help?” feelings but I’m praying through it and against it-and I really really appreciate you and everything you do and stand for here on KZbin. You are one amazing mommy-Christian is blessed to have you. 💙

[@budgetwitht6947]

You shouldn’t feel guilty for any of these things. When I first fell pregnant I came across your channel and watched literally all your videos! At 9 weeks I had a miscarriage and it was one of the worst things I’ve been through but I continue to watch your videos and follow your journey I love your channel and the space you’ve created and everyone that’s here (that should be here) for all the right reasons, completely understand. You’re human and you’re doing so damn great!! Sending all the love and well wishes ❤️❤️

[@maryooliss]

Thank you for opening up about the husband resentment. The first time a friend told me about those feelings I thought, “That won’t happen to me. My husband is so supportive.” But I definitely do feel that way. It’s hard to not think about how much more our female bodies, careers, hormones, etc, are effected when you and your husband are “partners”. It’s real. I just try to remind myself every morning and night that in our marriage there will be times that I have to carry us, and there will be times that he has to carry us (emotionally, financially, whatever). It will all even out eventually. We just have to try not to let our frustrations fuel each other’s bad moods.

[@BrookeTheOutcast]

I’m pregnant right now, I have struggled all my life through depression. Even as a little girl. And I’m so afraid of having postpartum depression. I never want to feel those ways again.. thank you so much for sharing this Throughout feeling depressed Just knowing you’re not alone and being able to relate and knowing you will be okay has helped tremendously. Watching KZbin has always calmed me down anyway so thank you

[@shannonkamp690]

I’m proud of you momma. It is a very hard topic to talk about. I am blessed not to have it. Baby girl is 6 weeks now. I breastfeed for the first month and was just miserable and had to make a change for us. I switched from breast to pumping and had so many problems with both. There was a major guilt for me when it came to stopping pumping. I felt like everyone was going to look down on me. I’m a nurse so I know “breast is best.” But it is extremely hard. It’s was harder for me than being a mom over all. It is very important to be able to vent. It’s not “complaining.” Therapy might help since you don’t have family nearby. I have a lot of family close by that could take her in a heart beat which helps a lot. Thanks for the video! I love them.

[@sydneamccormick9836]

Thank you for being real and honest! I found you through pregnancy related videos cause I’m pregnant right now myself with my first child and I just really enjoyed who you are and your videos and I looked forward to waiting and seeing the videos you posted. And I still do! One of the things I like about you is the fact you go places other people don’t go with just raw real. So thank you once again cause I need to know these things. Your helping me so much! Please don’t ever stop! Baby and non-baby related I enjoy you! Your very strong for posting this! 💜

[@abedawgg]

Thank you for sharing your experience. I am here to learn about this topic because my fiance is gonna give birth sometime this month and I want to do all I can do to be supportive and be "prepared" as best as I can to help her in case she goes through this.

[@brooklynsauer2321]

Thank you for this, seriously! I dont have kids yet but I have been battling depression most of my life and this past month has been the hardest its ever been and I finally came clean and told my husband about it, I hid it behind a fake happy go lucky attitude and a lying smile for YEARS until i finally broke, I tried dealing with it the best I could and kept it bottled up but it just made things worse. I am trying to overcome it just as you and so many others are. And i'm sure I can speak for many when I say it made me feel like I wasnt completely crazy and going at this alone in the world. You and this video are so inspirational thank you for uploading this. 💜

[@kikirobinson7836]

I was the woman who couldn’t get pregnant for 7 years...you explaining why a mom would complain is actually great for infertile couples who do hear moms being negative. PPD is not about being ungrateful and it has nothing to do with infertility...it is sweet that you thought of those women though. I did ivf and am now 18 weeks prego with twins, and I am scared about PPD. I weened off my anxiety meds when I got prego. I started having anxiety attacks like 8 months ago. Which lead me into a depression. YOu are the first person I’ve heard explain it and it made me cry watching you. I am thankful and I respect you for sharing. I’ve watched your maternity hauls but this was a whole other level, and I feel like we are friends now. I will be praying for you. I like your ideas of making some mom me time happen no matter what. This is an old video and I bet you are so much better now!

[@lindsay7871]

Hi Olivia! I just recently came across your channel and saw this video and even though it's a year old, I wanted to say thank you so much for this! I struggled with depression after having my first child who is now 5. At the time she was a newborn I was a SAHM and thought the depression was due to not having a job because once I went back to work when she was 10 months old the depression went away. Now I have a second baby that is 3 months old and I have a job this time and I've been struggling again. Even though I don't know you, seeing you went through what I seem to be going through and hearing you say we are going to be ok is something I really needed to hear today! Anyway, thank you for opening up and making this video.

[@TRMR23]

Thank you for sharing these real feelings. I am 3 weeks away from welcoming our first baby and this is a topic I’ve been researching to prepare myself - learning the symptoms and hearing of others experiences are so incredibly valued. Thank you for your bravery on a sensitive and personal subject.

[@sudou1632]

thanks for sharing! I'M 35weeks pregnant , trying to get fully ready mentally and physically, hearing your story will definitely give me a heads up. and hope everything will be ok.

[@stephaniacordova6284]

I’m 38 weeks pregnant and your video have helped me so much, so many people just show the good side of their pregnancies and recovery so you have such high expectations on everything and then i went thru it, and it turns out it’s not all sunshine there’s bad days as well, thank you! Later when I have my baby I’ll turn back to this video and remember it’s okay to talk about it, to feel sad some days but know it’s not the end of the world 🌎

[@sarahkachel2715]

I’m sorry you went through all this. I’m struggling right now being 33 weeks pregnant in the middle of Covid. I’m 38 yes old, diagnosed with Gestational Diabetes, I was maintaining it with diet but then got an upper respiratory asthma bronchitis infection and am on a strong steroid inhaler and a nebulizer, on top of that I’ve got a hiatus hernia, gastritis and esophagus. This is my second child... pregnancy is extremely hard on me! I’ve lost two babies to miscarriage prior to these pregnancies so both my children are rainbow babies. Because I’m on so many meds for my asthma it’s increased my blood sugars and causes more Braxton-Hicks contractions more frequently than I should and I’m on insulin to keep my sugars down.. however it backfired on me this morning my fasting sugars were at 92 then I took my insulin as instructed then ate breakfast my sugars after an hour was at 152 then after 20 minutes I felt extremely tired and passed out on the couch. My 5 yr old daughter had to shake me to wake me up. I was sweating and shaking my sugars dropped to 56 way too low and I’m not supposed to go below 80 or above 140. I’m miserable and I’ve got 7 weeks left. I didn’t have any help from my parents or my husbands parents with my first child I had to quit my job tell my daughter was old enough for daycare and it was extremely tough on us financially. I’m in that situation again... my parents can’t/ won’t help my husbands parents can’t help and any friends close by can’t help all the time either in fact I’ve tried to reach out to friends just to take my 5 yr old out to a park or something so I can rest and she can get attention but no luck there yet. There are so many who say they’ll help and pray for me... but when it comes down to it and I need the help and ask... it’s not there when needed from most. Depression is really hitting me now already! I’m an active person and an outdoors person and now because of what I’m going through it’s horrible. I’ve had friends say they’ll come see me and never did I’ve had friends say let me know if you need anything... I’ve given up on all the help offered because off all the failed attempts to ask for help failed I don’t even ask anymore.. but today really scared me and I’m afraid to be left alone in my home... I almost want to be selfish and have my daughter here to call 911 if needed or call her daddy at work or someone if I pass out again, because if it wasn’t for her today I don’t know what would happen! I know my daughter even though she’s 5 almost 6 she’s going to be a huge help with her new sister Sasha coming soon! And I’m going to need it because I don’t see anyone else helping me.

[@lalalatail]

Thank You, i struggle to articulate how i'm feeling, and you summed it up perfectly. Its so nice to know we are not alone. Thank You for opening up and being vulnerable. I felt comfort, and so will many others who are feeling and going through the same thing.

[@Sarah-zj7ve]

I sincerely appreciate your perspective and I completely understand the whole chemical side of hormones dictating feelings and such (for me it's more anxiety than depression - which runs in my family) but talking it out really made the difference personally. I know this is TOTALLY personal and it's weird as a complete stranger to recommend something so private but I would encourage trying counseling. I'm about to hit my third trimester as a first time mom and being able to express my thoughts, fears and emotions helps lighten the load tremendously. Your words are encouraging and I hope you don't feel alone in the struggle! One day at a time

[@juliehopkins5189]

I love the way you break down the sliding scale of self care. In the long run, it is so much better to have a well taken care of mom who can give her best self to her babies.

[@mercedesevans8125]

Thank you so much for opening up, I do really think it’s important to show real life and not just the good stuff. I’m new to your channel but I have really enjoyed and appreciated your videos as I am getting ready to bring my first baby into the world! Thank you 🥰

[@juliabooysen7620]

Just watched this for the 2nd time now that I’m post partum! I actually shared this to someone to show and tell this is exactly what I’m feeling. I haven’t been able to describe how I feel! Thanks for this video Olivia!

[@juliabooysen7620]

Please send me your email if you mind? So I can email you to chat?

[@whimsicalhufflepuff6775]

Thank you for making this video! It's probably been a while since you've got a comment on this video, but I'm currently pregnant with my first and I'm actually terrified of post-partum depression as depression runs in my family. My doctor already knows I'm worried about it. I discovered your channel through your baby videos, and this one just came up and I am so glad. I feel a bit less scared hearing you talk about it.

[@alyssacasillas45]

This video helped me so much!! I was feeling that postpartum depression and it definitely was draining and takes affect of your life. I remembered that you put out a video like this so after watching it and being able to connect to the things you mentioned felt good that I wasn’t the only one. After watching your video I have not felt one ounce of depression in 2 weeks!! You are amazing for being able to have that affect on someone’s life and for being so real!! Looooove your channel ❣️❣️❣️

[@dorachacin3234]

I'm 37 weeks pregnant your video helped me so much !!!!you're beautifull inside and outside !!!Your video is so clearly ❤ my english is not very well I still learning but with you is easy to understand every sweet words Thanks so much

[@katka9279]

I have one month old son and I cannot relate more. You just put into words everything I am feeling these days. Thanks for this video,

[@cortneyblack2754]

Wow! This is an amazing video! I’m pregnant with our first right now and I love that you are so honest about this situation bc I had mentioned this situation to my husband and he doesn’t want to talk about it. Thank you. This is one of the things that I have been worrying about after I have the baby bc we don’t have family around where we live either and I’m afraid that I’m going to do this all by myself and I’m scared. So thank you so much for this video!!

[@zariivahdatii8713]

I just watched this on 8/2020 This made a huge difference in my life now, I am suffering from PPD. And could not find any other honest but practical video about it on KZbin as yours. Others are all crying that I already have in me. I needed some other point of view to it, not just the sad part. THANK YOU. ❤️❤️

[@oliviazapo]

Sending you so much love!! ❤️❤️

[@rosebud7233]

Thank you for sharing your story! My daughter is 8 months old, and I struggled pretty heavily with PPD for the first 3 months. I had a hard time finding women talking about it, which made me feel alone even though I knew how common it was. I highly recommend to anyone talking to a therapist. If not dealt with properly, PPD can worsen and linger longterm. I didn't have any issue with the mini pill, but I know that varies between women.

[@melissayates442]

I'm so proud of you for posting this. Its so important to talk about as many of us go through the same thing, we don't need to suffer by ourselves! :)

[@ambertimmons8224]

I can relate! I went through the same thing with my two boys and am currently pregnant with baby #3. Ir gets better with time. Going to a therapist helped me a lot. Thank you for sharing and remember that you're not alone!

[@carriemoscrip5831]

I may not be a mom yet, but I can appreciate this video. It's so awesome that you shared this! You seem like such a kind, genuine person. 💜 Lots of love

[@CarynWilson]

Carrie Moscrip this hits home for me. I'm only 10 days out from giving birth. I just have had feelings of regret. Like regret having the baby. It's really difficult. I'm hoping it's just the baby blues.

[@katelynnfowler2697]

I know that this is an older video, but girlll... when you started talking about birth control a light bulb went off. I stopped taking the mini pill too because I started feeling the exact same feelings. I felt like My baby was better off without me... and I also felt like my mom was a better mom than me... it was bad. I’m also afraid to go back on any birth control because I’m afraid I’ll have those feelings again. Much love.❤️

[@angelafalohun4242]

Your so Strong & Beautiful I'm glad you told your story I'm 28 weeks Preagnant this is my first child & I'm already feeling stressed this was very helpful to me people should never judge you for being you it's okay to cry it's okay to go through things all women have to go through these things so I think it's so wrong for women to judge other women when they never been through it I'm so proud of you because this is real life & alot of women are afraid to tell the truth which really helps all that need it you are soo awesome 😊

[@ReneeB457]

I am mirroring your story as we speak. Although I am 6 months PP, I noticed the depression getting worse when I started to notice the hair loss, clearly a chemical imbalance. Getting in touch with a therapist today.

[@karinasobsessions5939]

Thank you for this video Liv! I too suffer from anxiety (my entire life), and depression on and off. Sending tons of love ❤️ to you and your family 🌹xo, and yes...we'll be ok.

[@kitrm28]

Thank you SO much for being brave enough and vulnerable enough to share your story with us!! Depression is a crippling monster and the struggle really is real. Keep fighting, sharing heals! ❤❤❤

[@jenniferpeterson3045]

I truly appreciate you opening up! I'm Due in May and all of your videos have been so helpful. I know this video was hard for you but it makes me feel like i wont be alone and that is priceless. Thank you.

[@NyxaEleven]

There’s a reason they tell you to put your mask on before helping others if the plane is going down. You can’t help anyone without taking care of you. And you’ve already helped me. I’m not pregnant or post partum- I’m prepping for IVF in a few weeks and I feel so many of the symptoms on that article already which is scary, but eye opening. It’s hard, but we will all be ok. Thank you so much for this video xo

[@NyxaEleven]

Lmao and I wrote we will be ok before you said it! That was too perfect. ❤️❤️❤️

[@meganllerena1055]

Thank you for this I needed this I have also suffered from depression since I was 13 On and off I'm now 26 IV had really horrible moments I am now 6 months pregnant with my second son and feeling down for about a month and today i just needed to hear that I'm not alone thank you for that ❤️ (some people just don't really understand that it's something that I can control I always here "just snap out of it" like it's that easy or "you have nothing to be feeling sad about" "look at everything you have people wish for")

[@carlag7000]

👏👏👏 awesome job getting your message out, your reattempts and patients making this video did the trick! I’m sure it was frustrating but it gave such a clear message. I’m very similar, and I’m trying to get ahead of or prepare for what I may face after our first baby comes. It’s like there’s a depression that forces you to people please and hide your forms of depression, and I worry about hiding it, like you said no one would guess. I’ve never heard anyone express what I feel and go through so much ever. I’ve never been the other forms of depressed, but you’re nailing it. It feels so comforting to hear it! Everyone always says “you’re so happy and normal” nope, not behind closed doors, just for you. I worry about resenting and feeling like I want the baby away from me, but I’m currently scary protective and like hoarding of it. So many things! I know YOU have to process your feelings but on the outside you helped at least me. You have shown me such great hopes for being a mom, you do a great job and give so much great information the good and bad and I find your channel when I’m panicking and poof you’ve somehow created something that helps me. I know you’re exhausted probably mostly emotionally, but pure doing great! ***Birth control completely flips my brain on the worst track ever and horrible anxiety. It’s awful. Any brand I’ve tried, it’s ugly scary! I appreciate this video so much!

[@carlag7000]

OH! And the antidepressants, they DO make it worse and just don’t help. Therapy is ok, it’s a lot of work to find the right one, always worth a shot! Get your local moms group on fb and find a sitter there! Our neighborhood has a fb and Nextdoor groups, they are great for local referrals! If you still need tips, children’s Benadryl helps, it sucks it makes you so drowsy but if you look into it it actually has a related affect to antidepressants (but positive) and was used to treat anxiety and depression ages ago. I don’t know if the tablets and nondrowsy help the same.

[@prettylittleinvestor]

I agree with other comments that you making this video makes me love you ever more 💕 you are beautiful, with a healthy, beautiful son, a supportive husband and what appears to be a beautiful home and gasp! You still get feelings that you interpret as “complaining” or some lack of gratitude for your life. You are being real and that is what is beautiful about the vulnerability that you share in this video 💪🏽. As human beings, we are dynamic and at times, contradictory. Thank you for this video 💞 Your subbies, myself obviously included, feel you 100% 💯 Love from Boston 💕

[@annecansse863]

Hi Olivia! I have been watching some of your videos and I love how you are so honest and easy to relate to. I am currently 34 weeks pregnant with our first baby. I have been feeling great so far, but had serious concerns about PPD since I have struggled with depression before. This video has helped me realize that if it happens, I am not alone and it will get better again. It also has shown me that taking time for myself will be crucial if I want to succeed in this journey. I hope you will feel better soon. You are a beautiful spirit! Take care!