Options for Finding a Spouse - Ask Pastor Tim

[@bumblyjack]

I'm a 35 year old single guy. When I was 30 and unsaved, I was very anxious about marriage. When 32 and new in Christ, I was still concerned. Then I spent 3 years focusing on glorifying God as much as I can at my job and doing youth evangelism ministry in my spare time. Now, I don't care whether or not I get married. My life isn't focused on my wants and needs anymore. With every decision I ask, "How can I benefit others? How can I draw closer to the Lord?" I just don't care about myself anymore. I want to see God glorified, lost people saved, and saved people grow to maturity.

[@Candaicelovesjesus]

Timothy A. Miller Amen. The challenge happens when it’s a Christian woman who really desires to have children and the clock keeps ticking... tick tock tick tock.... 30 then 35 then 45 😩

[@mka1200]

I assure you that you will be married LATEST in 10 years. Lets then talk again ;)

[@prayunceasingly2029]

Bro I'm a 35 year old single guy too. I'm more in your type of mindset now as well. Marriage is an option if the right woman comes. God needs to be my first joy not marriage. I do want to be married but i also know there is more to life than marriage.

[@WasLostButNowAmFound]

John Stott, devoted all his energies into ministry. single all his life.

[@evadios7740]

That is amasing :) good example

[@CrazyWatcher670]

I was so sad about being single at once but then I looked couples around me. Worst thing is not being single, it is being married to a wrong person and not even realizing it. Count your blessings.

[@missNCW]

Do people talk this way about married couples who want children? They just empathise with their pain. They don’t get told to count their blessings when they can’t get pregnant and have miscarriages. So let’s stop treating single people any differently. People don’t tell married couples, infertility isn’t the worst thing. The worst thing is having a child who becomes an unbeliever! No, we don’t say that, because the worst possibility has nothing to do with their GODLY desire. The same way that desiring a God centred marriage doesn’t need to be compared with marrying the ‘wrong person’. We aren’t asking for perfect fairytales nor are we ignorant to bad marriages - single people are always assumed to not want real marriages. You’re single so you know this, why perpetuate this idea that we are unaware that there are bad marriages? Should we let that fear stop us and discourage us from wanting marriage that God gave us desire for? The Bible doesn’t tel us to do that. No one said it was the worst thing. We simply want marriage because God said it is good and gave us the desire. That’s not some stupid thing that we need to be lectured on every 5 minutes from married couples and other single people as if we don’t ‘count our blessings’. Since when does counting your own blessing mean that you can’t desire another blessing that MOST people have, that is GOOD and Godly.

[@missNCW]

The person who WROTE this is LITERALLY wanting to select a good spouse, but the response is that she might not marry the right person, whatever that means. God tells us to love who we’re married to, not that we may have married the ‘wrong person’. If you MARRIED them, then guess what they’re the right person. But strange that the video about a woman who wants to marry the RIGHT person, becomes about how we should count our blessing no a as single people - we already count our blessings, we just want the right person so why are you telling us the ‘worst thing’ in YOUR opinion is marrying the wrong person. No one wants to do that. We want the right person, please stop acting like single people aren’t smart or wise enough to want the right person. Or that we aren’t Holy enough to be grateful for what we have. Married people don’t get treated like this.

[@CrazyWatcher670]

@@missNCW U r offended. U r talking Bookish.

[@CrazyWatcher670]

@@missNCW U wrote 3 paragraphs in reply to a comment of person who you do not know. I have no need to read ur full comment to understand who you are. When I see people like this, I count my blessing. Here is a spoiler- there is a whole big world outside downtown and internet.

[@JenniferMoleski]

I think being married to the wrong person _and not even realizing it_ sounds pretty blissful!

[@GiaGirlism]

I threw myself into being useful to the Lord and had a knife attack one night on the way to church. A friend had to walk me home. He is now my husband of 11 years. I hated the knife attack but rejoice that though it God gave me a wonderful husband.

[@mka1200]

Awesome :)

[@wilsonwaigwa520]

Providence

[@jubalsson7663]

EXACTLYY, Pastor Tim just had out to pull out the beautiful Matthew 6:31-34. "So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own."

[@jubalsson7663]

oop, i kept watching - he did hahaha

[@bekahleah574]

Wow!

[@Arcange93iam]

“ God is able to make us happy without anything else but himself “ Something I easily forgot... Thank You🙏🏾💯

[@missNCW]

But yet he gives us a desire for marriage that can make us happy. Why do single people have to chose between happiness and God, like a SPOUSE isn’t from God. Marriage is from God, he can make us happy THROUGH a spouse. That’s what married people say but when’s single person says it they’re accused of idolising marriage.

[@carlathompson9308]

I agree married people can be very flippant

[@rufusnganga1118]

God is able to make us happy without anything~ that just brought joy in my heart thanks Pst Tim God bless you

[@blaby4ever]

So if you just don't wanna watch the video and you're just perusing through the comments. (I understand) Options for finding a spouse 1) You can sin by yoking with an unbeliever 2) You can try dating websites 3) Making yourself attractive, outside and healthwise 4) If you're a girl . . . Just try the Ruth method and approach the guy

[@kathlynnmoore6019]

Forgot the last option! 😄 5) seek God first, and be patient and content in Him

[@Barcelonita08]

I absolutely LOVED this video! Pastor Tim was preaching!!🔥💯👏🏼 I have been meaning to go hear him preach in person since I live in Texas as well. You know, as a 23 year old female from North Texas who has been saved a little over 4 years now this is such a spot on video & message. I got saved in a church who basically preached ONLY Marriage Idolatry. I just left the church for False Doctrine issues among other things but that’s another story! However, anyways, there was such a push for only marriage & what was being preached by not just my ex pastors but also the members and elders was that we young adults were not complete until we found a spouse and that the young men needed to hurry up and marry and the young ladies like myself needed to just sit around and wait in Faith. Being single or your time of singleness was basically condemned there! Constantly hearing remarks like that during each service really grew frustrating and even made myself and a couple friends began to believe that there was something wrong with us for still being single. Like it was a curse or something. I’ve watched ex friends & members only date & rush into marriage because they believe that NOW God will bless their life and you bet they’ve had TONS of unnecessary issues and baggage brought into their marriage and life and now they’re stuck. I’ve seen friends chase after lukewarm believers and false converts just because the person says they believe in Jesus and because they believe you have to get married like yesterday. After leaving that church and it’s teachings and it’s cult-like members and going on my own with the Lord and going through one heck of a testimony (that’s another story as well!) these last 6 months I can tell you that I am 100% God Dependent & focused and so sooo content, satisfied, & secure in Christ in my life! Honestly, I can’t tell you which gift is for me right now. Singleness or marriage, not really sure. But honestly, it doesn’t bring me the slightest concern either way! I’m so focused trying to serve him and seek him and letting him move in my life that I don’t fret over it anymore. Marriage used to be an idol in my life but now I’ve just surrendered my life to Him that it doesn’t matter either way. The Lord’s Will will be made manifest in my life no matter what. Christ is and always will be sufficient for me! 🙏🏼🙌🏼💛

[@remissao13]

Look, often it's not you, finding a good match IS hard. That said, don't give up trying and do spend time and energy looking for someone you like. A good spouse is precious; finding someone is something worthy putting working into.

[@zee-zm1io]

This is true and also what’s available in your community

[@learnaboutisa]

​@@zee-zm1iodon't you feel like sometimes you are born upon a wrong community?

[@akoszubor5655]

I would recommend you to look up "applying God's word" also. It's been a great blessing to me. Very balanced, God honouring.

[@ReconciledRadio]

I agree. Been watching him

[@JitiAnn]

😍Seek first Kingdom of God💓and his righteousness; and all these, things will be given to you 😇

[@carlathompson9308]

I agree just get married is not something you can just do and that is a practical concern. You have to find loving Christian spouse.

[@seekingthekingdomfirst8089]

Option for finding a spouse? Find God first. 😍

[@sweetlove3391]

I literally watched the “option” from 16th till the end of the video for like 10 times. That’s really the best option ever you can advise to single people. I wouldn’t understand this option few years ago, but the more you know God and walking in Him... the more you know this option is true. Thanks so much for your insight, this combined with the sermon of time is short is really good. Thanks for this channel. May God bless your works in your country!

[@lxDarkToothxl]

Amen brother, let us run with endurance in whatever season we are in!!

[@Mark_68574]

As a single man I can say that Tim spoke pure wisdom here. I have a desire to be married, but as Tim said, Christ is able and ready to fulfill my deepest desire no matter what happens. Some people in the comments here seem to be bitter and complaining against God because they are still single. I can say with an absolute surety that even if these were to get married they still wouldn't be content, or have joy, or peace in their hearts. Jesus Christ is the fount of life! We are married to Him!

[@mka1200]

Looks like you are the perfect Christian who never goes through crisis. Congratulations 🎉!

[@Mark_68574]

@@mka1200 We all have our own burdens to bear. I am not perfect nor am I anywhere near perfection. I don't know what you are going through or why you would feel the need to try to condemn me. But I can tell you if you cast your burden upon the Lord He will lift you up. You don't need to stew in your bitterness. Go to Him now and He will forgive you and satisfy you.

[@mka1200]

@@Mark_68574 This is exactly the kind of word that doesn't help a single in a crisis. Praise God, my crisis is gone as the holiday season is finished and daily routine starts again. Did you have any fellowship with a single during this dark long holiday season? I am afraid your interpretation is a bit far off. I don't condemn you, why should I ?? Don't understand your thought.

[@Mark_68574]

@@mka1200 I wrote a sincere comment testifying that Jesus Christ is enough to satisfy our every desire, and all you could reply with was mocking sarcasm. If you don't see the sin in that you need to start examining your heart before God.

[@mka1200]

@@Mark_68574 I'll be honest. I don't want to argue with you. God knows whats your problem.

[@divinedevelopment3377]

Thank God for this teaching. It really helps with being content and whole in the Lord while praying for and seeking a spouse. Awesome!

[@KeithThompson52]

Wonderful biblical wisdom from my elder brother Tim...

[@missNCW]

Who is married but tells single people not to want marriage

[@ValOrthodoxia]

28, single and too focused on ministry but being married is always an innate desire that is there and it is a gift and a blessing from God. Wait and it’ll come.

[@ivotheg2397]

Any update on this?

[@ValOrthodoxia]

@@ivotheg2397 30 years old now, had an amazing woman in my life that was part of my church. Things were going amazing, made some mistakes in the relationship and ended up breaking up due to my hectic ministry lifestyle. Biggest mistake of my life. Will probably regret it for the rest of my life. Don’t let the blessing of marriage go when God sends a spouse your way. I made that mistake and here I am single still.

[@Skolower]

Amen about that part where you said that life doesn't start after singleness, life is anywhere we are with the saviour !

[@johnnyjohnsonston2581]

I heard things in this video I really did not want to hear. I have wondered to myself if I was letting the idea of marriage be an idol to me. I have even asked myself if I wanted to be married more than I wanted to know God. Thank you for this message. I wish I had the love for God that the martyrs had.

[@TheGreatAustino]

This video has been beneficial in my struggle with becoming a man worthy of a daughter of God. Thank you.

[@manuelsanchezdeinigo3959]

32 and Single came close three times, but YHVH intervened in each. I had a lot of Anger and bitterness for a long time but yesterday I realized I want to Renew my Sprit my Mind and my heart because I blamed YHVH for keeping me single and I had jealously when others got married and engaged. I have to admit I almost turned this video off because it did feel like sarcasm and condescending at first but I pushed through and glad I did! Yes help us single believes out YHVH by allowing us to be Content in this Season and Help us to BE Single and Serve you and your Kingdom YHVH bless in YESHUA Jesus Christ Mighty Name Amen 🙏

[@DrewMIATL]

I’m 33 years old, and was left a year ago by a girl I thought I was going to marry. I really thought she was the one. Now it just eats me up every single day. Still. I still struggle with lustful flashbacks and porn and it’s really doing damage. I need some serious prayer. I’m not doing anything for the Kingdom. I need to change.

[@vylerdurden2615]

Your name has been duly noted. I will pray for you, my brother

[@JCK712]

Been there brother. Had to say it many times in my head that's my thoughts are not mine and had to force myself to forget about my ex. With time got easier. Remember love is a choice so choose God. I will pray for you!

[@tarynhansen9826]

How are you brother?

[@cokers4life]

There are single reformed women but like many of the greatest reformed, we didn’t lead ideal lives before our conversion. Now we are busy raising children, running a business, homeschooling and working as a janitor part-time (listening to reformed doctrine). I am not struggling with singleness. My greatest joy is studying my Bible. I don’t feel lonely because I find his companionship in His word. Search it like hidden treasure and it is so satisfying. The best option is submit to singleness and to find joy in Christ.

[@Pedro-of4tn]

Indeed.

[@missNCW]

Maybe it’s because you had sex and relationships and have children. But some of us are virgins of decades and don’t have children and shocker - we want children. So don’t belittle our desires from God by saying we should be content without the things you’ve ALREADY experienced.

[@missNCW]

It’s isn’t satisfying though is it, or else we wouldn’t have the sexual desire that HE gave us. Tell that to married people, they weren’t satisfied were they? They still aren’t. They ALLOWED to have desires and to feel sad when they aren’t met. Do we tell them to basically get over NEVER having them Meg or do they get empathy and practical advice on how to fix the problem, because THEY deserve to have desires. Same thing for singles. Married women aren’t shamed for wanting children and being that they can’t. Married men aren’t shamed for wanting sex and being that he can’t have it with his wife. So STOP shaming single women and men for wanting marriage, especially who want children and have a time limit. We aren’t wrong, and we deserve to have DESIRES JUST like married people and to have feeling without being told that they are a RESULT of a lack of faith.

[@gmanlovesboobies]

@@missNCW I feel like I have just found my female equivalent.

[@y.kristina6737]

Thank you, Pastor Tim for allowing you to be used by the Lord to bring such a new perspective and a refreshing view of this topic related to finding a spouse or believing God for a mater

[@sabrinaliu66]

42 years old praying for a husband over the last 11 years. God, please help me to trust you and no more delay in marriage. 😢

[@Amaily1]

Oh God.. man like this i needed 🤭 in your presence and mercy... put my face and name in his dreams.. i know my Lord God can do more think beyond my mind... You know me.. and You know him.. Speak within us.. Amin 🙏

[@someone-ji2zb]

I would add that, for certain women (where I live it is most christian women), striving to not be fat would be a huge step in the right direction. I don't just say that from a physical attraction point of view, but also that it is indicative of that woman's self control and discipline. If a woman is a glutton and can't keep her body at least in a semi healthy state, then why would a marriage worthy, christian man choose to dedicate his life to such a person? Many women get annoyed by the mere mention of that topic, but it is what it is. A man working a dead end, minimum wage job at 32 is going to be in the same boat as a fat woman at 32. That man needs to be able to provide for a family, and no one will try to refute that as a requirement. Yet we bring up body health and attractiveness, and it is somehow 'taboo' when in regards to women.

[@Monk7791]

Of course gluttony is wrong, for men and women. But you can't judge every woman (why not men by the way?) that is overweight like that. There are so many reasons why people gain weight and can't loose it, that have nothing to do with self control and discipline; all kinds of illneses, the necessary use of (life- saving) medication, depression... Women's bodies change after childbirth. Also ultra- processed food is connected to being overweight, and most of the food supermarkets sell is ultraprocessed.

[@someone-ji2zb]

@@Monk7791 Because I am a man who is attracted to women. On top of that, most guys don't get offended/defensive when the subject of weight is brought up. It has become an issue of pride with many women, whether they think so or not. The reality of the situation regarding medical conditions and weight loss is this. No matter your medication (I take meds that make it much easier to gain weight by destroying my metabolism) or issue, if you remain under the calorie intake you need for the day, then you will burn fat. There are no two ways about it. Yes, many things can make it harder to lose weight, but the core issue is the same. Lack of self discipline to spend more time cooking, less time snacking and no focus on self control.

[@Monk7791]

@@someone-ji2zb "...wether they think so or not...? So you can read minds/hearts? You think you know all about everyone and have somehow gained the right to judge? Sorry to disappoint you, but the world isn't that black and white.

[@dachater1]

Thanks for this channel. These very real discussions are so needed!! You must be an amazing pastor.

[@andrewboyddotcom]

ABANDON MARRIAGE IDOLOTORY. Thank you for this teaching and your prayer. I was CRAZY about this girl for two years and wanting to be together obstructed the things I wanted to do for the Lord. I ended it - broke my heart. Struggle with singleness. This video is simple but nails it. Thank you.

[@moveuself]

i would prefer if someone who knows what it's like to be single for 10,15, 20, 25 years to be giving this talk

[@mka1200]

Amen.

[@aheartonfire7191]

He knows what he’s talking about. Doesn’t matter the length. He’s experienced it.

[@mka1200]

@@aheartonfire7191 Length DOES matter.

[@moveuself]

Michael Prehn, I have seen too, too, too many Christian women who came into the church in their 20s who are still single in their 30s,40s,50s and beyond. Being single for that length of time is a different experience than being single for 3 yrs then getting married and having a family as pastor Tim did. In my experience, 3yrs single is a very short time in Christian circles. I'm not saying he didn't have his struggles but 3yrs relative to other Christians' experiences is no time at all

[@mka1200]

@@moveuself Amen.

[@tomhitchcock8195]

How about spending time preparing for marriage.

[@TheHelenhunter]

If marriage is not so important then why did God create it, why did He say it's not good to be alone, why give us sexual desires which are strong among natural drives.

[@noirreflex3618]

If you lack self control get married it is not a sin at times I struggle with the same desires however the Lord will not allow you to be tempted more than you can bear, and be careful on how much you desire marriage the Lord will not bless you with an idol

[@grahampaice5696]

Helene don`t listen to a married person for advice on marriage-they have forgotten about their single life

[@Heimrik01]

@@grahampaice5696 Man that's a GOOD advice !

[@davidpaulplanchard3104]

Great Points Helene

[@rainyray4382]

Single waching in 2020 come and comment .i m 34 year old single girl and i love the video.may GOD bless pastor Tim♥

[@gambit_toys6554]

Yall talk to strangers and ask them out it's not that hard. Women too. And work on your self. Be courageous

[@hamilton9651]

I want to remain single forever. I don't want to date or marry. I enjoy living by myself. What a wonderful experience to come home to my apartment and having the place to myself. No hassles, arguments, or drama! And my bed just for me! Life is good!!

[@mrchristian8782]

thank you for this, glory to God alone! in Jesus Christ mighty name!

[@blanchet2531]

This was a real blessing. God bless you brother Tim🙏

[@noelg220]

Where the single young reformed women at 😁😁

[@noelg220]

@D I have a hard time meeting single people my age. I'm in my mid 30's so my chances are getting slim each year. My eyes are set on wanting to have a spouse of course a godly spouse. Someone that I can grow old with. Someone that I can lead. My option now is to put myself out there.

[@aheartonfire7191]

Lol

[@cokers4life]

She is busy at church and raising four kids. Lol.

[@MorenitaBonita19]

We exist, it's just the Lord's timing I guess..

[@Deanna974]

@@noelg220 We're here. :) Where are the single men who love God?

[@Marie_Garwood]

Such profound wisdom! And it came at a perfect time for me. Thank you for this!

[@madisonmichelle5182]

For me, Hallmark movies are a lie from the pit of hell.

[@Heimrik01]

Hello Sonia are you single ?

[@trinibwoyjr]

I love travelling and seeing all the different cultures and how some cultures are still focused on core family values. There is a channel Filipina Destiny that interviews ladies from the Philippines that are looking to meet friends that could develop into long term relationships. Neat concepts, I'm wondering how it will do.

[@ivotheg2397]

It's been a year since the post, any update since then? Did you look into Filipina destiny?

[@tosin_davidson]

Wonderful preaching Sir... Tosin David from Nigeria

[@elizabethschilling7178]

This is so good. I was hoping you would refer to 1Cor. 7:32-34 👏👏👏👏

[@BluffytheVamp]

Instead of waiting I jumped into being unequally yoked. Not only am I unable to bring my s/o to Christ but it caused me to backslide. I just pray God takes away what needs to be taken away from my life and puts in what needs to be put into my life. I have good intentions but my anger and temptation has taken me down a path that I do not want to go down. I regret putting someone through so much heartache and emotional suffering. It is all because of my faults too.

[@falecomlulu101]

LET'S all singles here fast PRAY . GOD IS A FATHER. HE HE HIMSELF TOLD US TO PUT OUR HOPE IN HIM. LET'S HELP ONE ANOTHER EVERY DAY. let's be careful that no one among you has a heart so evil and unbelieving. ..We are his house If we keep up our courage and our confidence in what we hope for. HE IS THE LIVING GOD. THE GOD WHO PROVIDES .!

[@missNCW]

Oh great the story about the Pastor and his wife (AFTER telling US not to seek marriage) meeting even though they ‘weren’t looking for each other’. If we didn’t go out we’d be criticised, now we’re criticised for asking how to find someone practically.

[@gmanlovesboobies]

You’re supposed to put effort into it, so someday you, too, can find someone without even trying. That makes complete sense and isn’t at all contradictory. Then the same people who give no advice or condescending advice are like “WhY aRe PeOpLe LeAvInG cHrIsTiAnItTy¿!?”

[@jchemin27]

I believe I have been given the "gift of singleness" as it relates to not NEEDING intimacy to feel fulfilled. That being said, I'm a recently divorced man, and I hope to have another chance at marriage and a family of my own someday (be that with my ex or someone else). This isn't because of a desire to have intimacy but rather because of a desire to be a husband and father. As far as intimacy goes, I feel I could happily remain without it for the rest of my life.

[@jamielewis9356]

Take a deep breath. Even though your marriage dissolved take a step back and think what message is god trying say. Maybe he wants you to be closer to him

[@bibimayonicmeow7404]

Thanks i am single and have a boyfriend and planning to get married after few years."seek first the kingdom of God:

[@judyb0216]

For a divorced woman in mid-life finding a life partner or husband has been a challenge for 7 years. So many lukewarm Christians and men who deceive us. After many failures and sin, I have made the decision to allow God to send the right person if it is his will. To surrender to God, is the only option now. I've tried dating apps, church, activities and friends. Men want to seduce you not marry you.

[@oaklandsoldier8520]

Women, only want a tall and handsome man with money. It goes both ways. Both genders are selfish and vain.

[@CORNERSTONECITY777]

I made the mistake of thinking God wanted me to get married, I think the devil will use the whole " i have to get married " thing to get people useful for the Lord paired off with a spouse who does not really believe and will pull them off the narrow path. Im in my early 40s , never been in a relationship and thought I want to get married ! , for some people getting married is nothing but a trap for their spiritual walk.

[@missNCW]

Nice and loving response to delete a woman’s letter- married women aren’t treated like this.

[@lindamaecanete1778]

Great sermon 🌷☝️ Brother, Tim thank you 🙏 God bless you more

[@SophiaLOVESChrist]

Ruth wasn’t forward she was serving her mother when Boaz found her

[@nathanielriesterer9103]

She was both. She wasn't forward with just anyone tho, but Boaz she definitely was although she was coached by Naomi to be forward.

[@BruceJC75]

The gift very few people actually have or want.

[@oaklandsoldier8520]

I have a great deal of stress trying to be content being single. I cry myself to sleep every night.

[@RobbyStar1985]

Great teaching and very helpful. I realize I have been idolizing marriage but not for the sake of just having a companion. Sex! If I didn't have sexual desire then I would never want to be married: who would? Companionship is nice and I crave that as well but it's really the sexual desire that is driving me crazy. And since we can't have sex until we are married then I must be married to fulfill that desire. Uhg, life is hard but again this video was very helpful. We must renew our minds was key! Thank you God for helping me and I pray you help all of us single people who struggle with singleness. In Jesus's name I pray. Amen.

[@Pedro-of4tn]

Amen Philippians 4:6-8 King James Version 6 Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God. 7 And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus. 8 Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.

[@BruceJC75]

The Hallmark Movies cracked me up!! 😂

[@Xandy2dandY]

Wow, this was truly good and very encouraging. Thank you Pastor Tim

[@JamesGeshel]

I just hope the lord blesses me with a spouse in order to become closer with the lord and deepen my walk with him but I’m in no rush for that like I used to be.

[@shanny7583]

I loved been a single Christian when I 1st got saved... then 2yrs on I met a Christian on Facebook.. it's long distance. 4,000miles ,I feel iv lost my peace, joy & happeness.. I feel now I'm In bondage, he was a backslide Christian and I know his faith distant. But we had such a great connection but we fall out at times, and maybe this time is the end... he used to say this was God's will,,but now I feel different.. would GOD send a person in to yr life,to break u... I need advice.. thanku

[@Warrnan52]

Good word. Thanks brother Tim!

[@tomhitchcock8195]

Marriage is not a worldly endeavor.

[@noelg220]

Funny how he mentions Sovereign Grace Singles 😂😂

[@peachsangria8704]

Roller coaster of emotions listening to this message...at first, angry...another married person telling singles to "be content!"...as if we don't constantly hear that....then angrier as he talked about his "prayer" to God, saying he'd be perfectly ok with remaining single...but of course he's not!! why didn't he refuse to marry if he'd be content the other way...typical male....then my anger started to dissipate...because he's telling the truth here...we can make marriage an idol but God alone is worthy of our worship and devotion...and we should be pursuing God and His kingdom first, above all things. I pray for all of us singles here, that we may be transformed in our thinking and tear down those idols in our hearts..in Jesus name.

[@myrajackson-rain5483]

I guess I am not understanding, because for me, I want that person who witnesses my life, who hugs my sorrows and touches my pain with kind hands, who really knows me...that sacred believer and follower of Christ who will lead me, cover me with his prayers, and help to sanctify me, as I help him...I want that physical companion, and I do not know how to stop...

[@ds29912]

Old post but I'm curious. Have you ever brought this up to the elders in your church?

[@myrajackson-rain5483]

@@ds29912 I go before the Lord. He put the desire in me to begin with. If He so chooses to have me be alone for the rest of my life, I need His grace and mercy to know His will, and to be able to accept that Divine will. I have no elders and no church family. I recently moved, and the fellowship I attended several times here seem to have no room nor opening for me... so I worship at home... thank you for asking, tho. Is never too late to comment... the magic of the Internet. Be safe and blessed...much love to you and yours...

[@ds29912]

@@myrajackson-rain5483have you stopped looking for a church? I hope you find a church. Please don't stay out of the assembly for long. It's dark out there. And there are wolves. Be safe sister.

[@myrajackson-rain5483]

@@ds29912 There is evil all around, that’s for sure, but I am kept safe in the shelter of the Almighty. Thank you for caring, beloved brother. I will keep looking... it just may end up having to be online... how strange that would be...but is better than being totally alone...God bless...

[@christopherwilliams6746]

@@myrajackson-rain5483 Hey Myra, here is an online church i'm part of, maybe the biggest one, God is really moving here! Check him out and God bless. Also some other really good pastors on the "channels" tab of his channel. He has them on in a lot of videos. kzbin.info

[@GeoffreyGraham2]

Regarding surrender to God. Are their any good books on that?

[@Pedro-of4tn]

The Bible

[@russmerryman3539]

A single pastor that's been single, more than one to three years (needs to speak to single people on this issue)! Also, anyone listening to this TOPIC and would call it also "marriage idolatry" is misguidedly in denial of understanding/expressing the giftiness! Thinking you're not 'gifted to be married'... is not to be confused by our modern terms either you're married (or) single... NO a gifteness isn't your current state but where you belong! There are authors like first off, Derek & Ruth Prince's "God Is A Match Maker" (pub. 1986); also, Elisabeth Elliot's "Passion & Purity" (pub. 1984); or one, I never read by Joshua Harris "I Kissed Dating Goodbye" (pub. 1994) of which the last author has since confessed to having never been a Christian! They all push (this a person's giftedness to want marriage) isn't godly or-less-so. In so many words... (or) aka 'Marriage Idoltry,' LOL. No, out of all the options the Pastor Tim gives... some serve as one's to tell you in contrast one's that are to meet a Christian person's needs for a equal yoke and meaningful courting relationship headed towards marriage, oppose to options that do not have that direction! So, your "options" are narrowed, right! One thing the Dereck Prince points out is "Surrogate" options like Pastor Tim points out some ladies watch Hallmark movies for example can & will only serve as means aka of "substituting" for your marriage drive "Giftedness" to push that to the back burner of your mind either out of feeling you'll sin to consider your "giftedness" or it's 'idoltry' rather in not being consumed by God all the time? How many men watch sports all the time, do they call that idolry, or waxing their car every week, etc! Besides, we could likewise wrongly start calling a minstry of marriage, that is one's relationship with one's spouse as being idoltry over God; no idoltry is things in their wrong place usurping God; but all things have their place, and proper place as well; as even Solomon recognized (Ecc. 3:1-13). Please, do understand your gifteness" what Paul is talking about, he says to avoid fornication get married! So, those bad to worst "options" can be checked off your list (where you're not gonna find a "equally yoked" meaningful relationship with Christian helpmate (as Genesis) calls them! Paul says "get married" and just like finding a job, that also takes "effort and engagement" on your part just like finding a job as R.C. Sproul points out in his little book "God's Will & the Christian" (pub. 1984). Sproul also encourages women to take a more active role...! Rather, simply "never being content" (in being Single) tips you as to what your gifting is for! Author, Blaine Smith goes indepth in his book on the topic --better than the other books, contray, I listed-- as he writes about what the "giftedness" to be married is all about in "Should I Get Married?" (pub. 1990). While pastor Tim Conway makes many great points, but quoting (from somenone on their death bed), who will have no concern for a present physical life is indeed an obvious thing, and unhelpful! We rather need to look to scripture... If anyone, reads commentaries about the time that Paul wrote, one can will see his statements regarding better serving the Lord in to be rather in a single state was saying more or less that... Singles have more freedom in difficult times. As, interpreters differ, but more often relate to scripture in context of Paul's other statements, think that Paul was referring to more pronounced impending time of persecution against the church, as well as actual persecution against the church so he adds this injunction where as our democracy allows many couples today, to serve together if they are so called (1 Cor. 7:26). Lastly, "Renewing Your Minds" rather than woe is me I'm single? There is the passage quoted about (God providing all things) as we seek Him & His righteousness to want to live as God has designed us for those gifted --not to fornicate but-- to be married (Matt 6:33) there is also "Delight yourself also in the LORD, And He shall give you the desires of your heart." (Ps. 37:4) and “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” (Jeremiah 29:11). Why the address to men, "The man who finds a wife finds a treasure, and he receives favor from the LORD." (Prov 18:22, NLT). Many times in Biblical times there were arranged marriages, a man would approach a father or a daughter and either by dowery or years spent working for the father would get the daughter as a wife... We see this also in N.T., as well (1 Cor. 7:27) I believe. So, as the question to pastor Tim Conway is rather one where it worked it's self out just as simple as a man getting married and women without question there to finding themselves married the general principle as for most is "a giftedness" to be married; save whom Jesus sighted more over, or be like Paul as he too recommended (Matt. 19:12). Lack of understanding Paul's perspective paradigm (as outlined) and the cultural times he wrote in --when there were arranged marriages-- then makes his statements in (1 Corithians 7) otherwise hard to understand; but when you see these things, that is less so the case, "So then he who marries his betrothed does well, and he who refrains from marriage will do even better." (1 Cor. 7:38). No, Paul wasn't saying it's a good thing to get engaged, but better to break-it-off, LOL. But, again it is moreover considering context and he's making comments back to (1 Cor. 7:26) in issue. While, we have different marriages than "arranged marriages," today! As for most although speaking of a man aka men (women are involved in the context of what is spoken, 'it takes two,' (as a popular song says) but as scipture is patriarchal and concerns it's self with men as leaders with respect to marriage. We get this, from the whole of the New Testament also when we read the O.T., "that it is not good for man to be alone." (Gen.2: 18) this speaks nothing but to the mind of God in what He says on a general princple! To give one extra Biblical quotation expressing man's need remembering it is God who has ordained marriage! As we read words eloqutely in poem from Robert Service in his poem (The Shooting of Dan McGrew) as he writes there's a "...hunger not of the belly kind, that's banished with bacon and beans, But the gnawing hunger of lonely men for a home and all that it means; For a fireside far from the cares that are, four walls and a roof above; But oh! so cramful of cosy joy, and crowned with a woman's love!" One other extra Biblical source I'll quote to make a point fitting what I've hence said in relation to the interconnect concepts of the dynamics of relationships and how some may view them. Though J.B. Phillips is specifically mentioning one aspect of relationships it conveys some peoples general perspective of them. In his book "Your God Is Too Small" (pub. 1952) he says, "All the “lofty” concepts of the greatness of God need to be carefully watched lest they turn out to be mere magnifications of certain human characteristics. We may, for instance, admire the ascetic ultra-spiritual type which appears to have “a mind above” food, sexual attraction, and material comfort, for example. But if in forming a picture of the Holiness of God we are simply enlarging this spirituality and asceticism to the “Nth” degree, we are forced to some peculiar conclusions. Thus we may find ourselves readily able to imagine God’s interest in babies (for are they not “little bits of Heaven”?), yet unable to imagine His approval, let alone design, of the acts which led to their conception! END Quote. I don't think it is necessary to quote any other Bible verses accept Paul when he says, "...It is better to marry, than to burn." (1 Cor. 7:1-2, 7ff). Verse 1, prior quoted in sometimes translated, "touch" and sometimes to "marry" as they had certian people like the Gnostis who came into the church claiming even marriage was bad; everything but spiritual things where sinful no matter what? But, while Paul moreover said "No" in recognized God's design was for marriage... and then he went on to also share other factors he weaved in, to be considered! Scripture does not, and is not found placing marriage in a negative light but says, "Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled..." (Heb. 13:4). And, no one can tell you there is something wrong with wanting to get married ---thought they may try... when your inward person is testifying to you, your calling in God's will! For we are clearly told, "There is therefore now no condemnation to them which are in Christ Jesus, who walk not after the flesh, but after the Spirit... " (Rom. 8:1). So, we might deduce from the following verses just how we should then live, and how we should not live, with marriage put in contrast in finding a marriage partner (as we are told what) is that which is honorable & holy in God's will & sight oppose to a life not set apart to God's will when it comes to our sexuality as we read, "God’s will is for you to be holy, so stay away from all sexual sin. Then each of you will control his own body and live in holiness and honor- not in lustful passion like the pagans who do not KNOW God and His WAYS. Never harm or cheat a fellow believer in this matter by violating his wife, for the Lord avenges all such sins, as we have solemnly warned you before. God has called us to live holy lives, not impure lives. Therefore, anyone who refuses to live by these rules is not disobeying human teaching but is rejecting God, who gives His Holy Spirit to you." (1 Thess. 4:3-8, NLT).

[@Soulseekingtrips]

Thanks I needed this

[@rougetdamon768]

I think us single people just need to get over it :) if God blesses us with a spouse one day then great but if not well then so be it :) I understand it gets lonely ESPECIALLY when all your friends are married. But we really need to stop getting so hung up on this issue, it's not that big of a deal. It's not a matter of life or death.

[@victoriavuong6225]

I know that there is more to life that just marriage. And marriage should be just optional as we should spend our lives focus on God. However, it’s just God gives me a strong desire to get married. I'm used to think that I will just wait and pray and not looking. However, at 34 years old female living in a country which Christian might be just 1% of population with most churches full of single female and not so much single male, it's so hard, so I started looking. Anyway, I just have One Life To Live, if I die tomorrow, I may regret that I haven't tried my best on all aspects of life.

[@tomhitchcock8195]

When you’re married purity becomes harder. Cause you been there done that.

[@Vincent-yp1gj]

Not everyone

[@yia73]

I'm single dad of three kids I'm in late 40s can I find a spouse via a church? How?

[@missNCW]

When a preacher starts with ‘I’m not sarcastic’ you know it’s going to be some unloving flippant answer.

[@Shotzzilla]

The problem is Paul was a great guy to learn from and everything but even he said single is better than married but that’s not the case for everyone that’s why he also said if you’re burning with passion get married people need to stop preaching from a view point that Paul speaks for everyone…. No he had the gift of singleness and celibacy not everyone does God gives all of us different desires and some it’s easier than others but even Paul didn’t group everyone in one category it’s literally biblical but so over looked and taught wrong…

[@freespirit8635]

In the same vein, I rushed to find a husband (somewhat regretting) all because I wanted to have children. MANY women over 30 are guilty of this "motherhood idolatry". God is enough.

[@illbehonest]

Good point, that can be one possible snare that causes someone to overlook their spouses character.

[@matthewqueen4109]

Do you offer zoom counseling sessions?

[@Kontraleah]

I'm not trying to be accusatory, or sarcastic, condescending, or "catch" anybody in anything at all, but I am really intrigued... Does anybody know what this leaders credentials are? Like, is someone checking him out? That is important and forgive me for asking a naive question I don't mean for incompetency to be implied by nature of asking. Things just don't add up and I can't quite put my finger on it. But he's got a good thing going because I just can't look away. A sign, perhaps?

[@Kontraleah]

@Scott Burn I’m intrigued. His life must have been radically changed.

[@alanstevens1296]

Probably someone else who has been married since very early adulthood and has no real understanding of what older single people face seeking a mate.

[@riturajray5708]

Did he just mention Assam! Is there some story behind Assam Bangladesh??? I am from Assam and i was like- out of all this country, why Assam😂

[@illbehonest]

Yes, we've had several brethren labor in Assam, India over the years, one who is still there puts his messages up on KZbin here: kzbin.info/www/bejne/nmbEe4yvpLagbdk

[@riturajray5708]

@@illbehonest wow, didn't expect your reply. M so glad. Most of the videos on this channel have been helping me a lot lately and I wanna thank you for this. Thanks a lot for not only being a help to me but to many. Loads of love and will keep you in prayers surely also pray for me. 🖤🤍🥰

[@natashaball316]

this is depressing...

[@conspartaco]

Ellen B. Did you watch the whole thing?

[@CT--km1le]

Ellen B why do you say that?

[@ryanalving3785]

@@CT--km1le If you have to ask, you probably wont ever know.

[@CT--km1le]

@@ryanalving3785please explain

[@ryanalving3785]

@@CT--km1le I could tell you how while watching this and hearing him say "submit to a life of being single" (or thereabouts) as an option and a good one opened up doors of deep depression that I've tried to keep closed; as someone who has feared winding up alone since childhood. And when I say deep depression, I mean the kind that drives men and women to suicide. It is easy for a married man to say "accept being single", but it is a lot harder for a single person to hear it. If someone deeply longs for that kind of companionship, the very last thing that will make them feel better is telling them to accept never having it. He says the options are: to sin (obviously terrible), to just get married (as if finding the right person can be done by just getting up and doing it), to accept being alone for life (which however one parses it, if one has that capacity they wouldn't need this advice; and if they don't have it they probably don't want it), and to maybe see if it is possible to simply ask for help in the church (hit or miss). It is encouraging to remember that our God can do anything and more than we can imagine, but in my own experience (admittedly limited) that is a cold comfort in this respect when struggling with singleness. It might have been more beneficial to have this issue fielded by someone who is still single, as they would be better able to address the practical struggles of singleness. Honestly, it is hard to feel like someone who doesn't have the problem can really empathize; sort of like how adults forget what it is like being a child; a married man or woman is I think unlikely to remember what it really was like as a single person. I hope this helps clarify, because I've run out of words to explain. God bless.

[@OneWingedShark]

Ah, there it is. *"The Idolatry of Marriage."* As if being dissatisfied with singleness is idolatry, which I remind you _GOD HIMSELF_ said of man, before the fall, "it is not good for the man to be alone." That is utterly insulting to those of us who have trusted God and remained pure, but still feel the lack of a spouse. And don't give me the bullshit of "oh, be satisfied with God" because, again, *GOD HIMSELF* said of man "it is not good for the man to be alone" and this is BEFORE the fall, and man had full access to God.

[@BandyAndysExcellentEssays]

4:40 Outside the box thinking I love it

[@tullathomas3925]

Sometimes she's picky choosy

[@anthonygamboa3146]

sorry most of this was extremely unhelpful lol I do really appreciate your faithfulness to the word tho!

[@missNCW]

I thought we weren’t allowed to want marriage - only the married people right? The married people don’t get lectured about showing off and spending their days on Instagram posting about their families. that’s all fine but those of us who struggle in singleness but are FAITHFUL, we’re wrong for wanting marriage.

[@scouseaussie1638]

You sound bitter and twisted no wonder you’re single.

[@alexandervaldes7720]

Hi Mr. Tim, what do you mean by "visitations of the presence of Christ?" I have never heard that before. Could you please explain it to me?

[@j.m7555]

He's taking about the Holy Spirit.

[@aheartonfire7191]

He’s talking about Jesus. If anyone loves Me, he will keep My commandments and I will love Him and make an abode with him and will manifest Myself to him. Paraphrasing sorry

[@abiykuza4041]

Thank you.

[@Stewdawg4]

You honestly saved me from a lifetime of regret. Thank you, Pastor! I’d like to get in touch. Please have your contact reach me.

[@GodWithUs256]

spot on

[@mka1200]

I'll be honest. Such a sermon is not a help at all and can only be given by a married man/woman. Eternity is not a comfort when you suffer lonelyness down here on earth.

[@thetrollpatrol8799]

M Ka It is still a comfort, though we must be patient

[@mka1200]

I don't know how old YOU are. I have been pretty patient, I am 54 now. Enough is enough. May be it wouldn't be THAT bad if brothers and sisters took more care about Singles but they don't. Over 35 and Single you don't have any lobby. I tell young people: MARRY. Later it is too late. You will regrette.

[@mka1200]

@Hakim Mohamad Praise God, you are a believer now. Now get a good believer and marry her. Learn to be a good husband and a model. You wont make it in your own strength, I promise. It will be hard. But do it anyway. God will bless you.

[@thetrollpatrol8799]

M Ka I meant being patient until eternity. I don’t mean to be dismissive of the difficulty in that.

[@n003326]

I know its hard but just trust our Heavenly Father, He is faithful. Im in a period of waiting right now but i know God has said yes to my cries for a wife in a remarkable way, you wouldnt believe me if i told you. But while in the wilderness im drawing closer to Him. (Exodus 7:16 "Worship me in the wilderness.") Thats why he isolates us sometime, to draw closer to us and prepare us but, we must answer that call in faith trusting Him. My advice sweet brother or sister of God is this: "Whoever approaches God must believe that he is and that he becomes the rewarder of those earnestly seeking him.” Hebrews 11:6 (not saying you havent done this but keep banging on the door, He is faithful, it will open.) Keys words are: Believe, Earnestly, and Seeking. Do these 3 things everyday along with constant prayer and fasting. Ill be praying for you. God bless

[@MaranathaCry]

Hahahaha, "What's a hallmark movie..?"

[@jamielewis9356]

Romantic comedy I think 😅

[@user-fg7kk1kn6b]

Hi i accepted Jesus 4 months ago.. but i saw Him and He talked to me 15 yrs ago . I rejected Him for yrs, that is how stubborn i was.. but now i want to know Him more.. May i ask if i can join this bible study/sermon on skype?? Please??

[@supplantermusic9413]

Jesus is Lord

[@HVH777]

Will god send me a woman, that is godly but lacks physical attraction. I know beauty is vain and most wife material woman might not look like models or whatever but I must have some physical attraction to my spouse right. Is it wrong for me to want a spouse that I think is gorgeous inside and out

[@nicolelewis2503]

Nope! Marry someone you are attracted to. They don't have to be gorgeous or perfect looking they may not be your type. But if they have Godly characteristics, good with money, healthy, keep fit responsible clean then I think it's a good choice!

[@HVH777]

Concubines were in the Bible for a reason. Every woman will not be someone’s wife. You must do everything with balance and not make anything an idol in your life

[@mka1200]

Interesting thought.

[@davidpaulplanchard3104]

What is a concubine?

[@missNCW]

Telling us what men say, who have MANY options because there ARE more Christian men than women is NOT helpful

[@carlathompson9308]

I'm almost 40 there isnt a prospect in sight....:(

[@dachater1]

You are not alone

[@davidpaulplanchard3104]

Hi Carla are you still single? I'm David

[@carlathompson9308]

@@davidpaulplanchard3104 yes

[@davidpaulplanchard3104]

@@carlathompson9308 I'm a single Christian Man. What state are you in? Are you a Christian?😊

[@davidpaulplanchard3104]

Im sorry if this is to forward

[@missNCW]

Paul wasn’t living in 2022 but nice way to belittle single women

[@khappy1286]

Yes Pastor but the culture was marriage minded back then. Today? Nope. People aren't rushing to marriage. You're missing her point of heartbreak. There aren't guys rushing to pursue in our country any longer. Years ago it was the norm. And its creating serious emotional devastation and instability in our culture.

[@DrewMIATL]

I completely agree

[@wendys9587]

Women are at fault too. Not many good women out there either. Most have a terrible past with many premarital partners.