Origin Story - Social Anxiety Vlog

[@metalechoes1]

Good stuff man! Appreciate the deep dive into your history here. It's very interesting to get some perspective. It's fascinating how alike we are in some ways yet totally different in others. I feel like you're way ahead on having the anxiety under control. Even for little stuff I'm pretty good at hiding my anxiety so nobody knows but at night in bed I'm tossing, turning, etc trying to figure out what I'll do in every given situation. Like conversations-wise I'm going line by line, etc. I just got assigned to train someone at my job and I'm stressing about whether I'll do a good job so I'm having fake conversations in my mind trying to be prepared on how to answer questions and stuff when deep down I know it won't actually play out that way. I searched for a long time to try and find what that was - I think I have some OCD issues tied into rumination. Anyway, back on topic - I don't actually have trouble talking to people (mainly because I've spent so long in customer service) so I can seem completely normal in day to day life but I'm just socially drained by the end of the day and I want nothing to do with other people. So in that sense I think we're quite different - I don't want to speak for you but it seems like you do want to make a genuine effort to connect with others. I just don't have much of a desire to. I just don't really care for most people lol. I do think a lot of your suggestions ring true for anyone in similar circumstances though. Therapy, medicine, just that initial email to your parents - those all are big steps. I feel like I've been stuck in 2nd gear for the longest time trying to figure out my anxiety, my job, etc all at once but really I think I need to break it down to one thing at a time. No real topic suggestions for next week, I'll leave it up to you, but great video dude!

[@anthonyrigbyisdead4937]

Thanks as always for the great comments! I agree it's interesting to hear how people with social anxiety can be different and the same. I think the fact that you're married is a factor that plays in how we have slightly different perspectives and I'm just by myself all day. Like I don't mind being by myself and I am like you in that I don't really like people or want to be around them :). But at the same time it just feels wrong in my gut. I don't know how to explain it except I just feel like I'm failing at being a person if I'm not trying to interact or connect with people. It just feels like I'm being a bad person and I have to try and be better even if I don't want to. It's also a fear of just my entire life going by and feeling like I wasted it by just being by myself the whole time. Yeah I totally agree with your idea of breaking things down to one thing at a time. I didn't really make a conscious choice to do that but that's kind of what I've been doing. Like I spent an entire year just looking for and apartment, then another year working up to go to therapy and then trying to find the right therapist, then the next almost 2 years I just spent looking for a new job. It helps to have one major goal like that and have tiny goals to get you there. Although it's still not easy. Every time I feel like I have a period of depression that I'm not good enough or that my goals are just stupid or whatever. But eventually stuff just happens If you keep trying. Keep me updated on how you're doing, I'm curious to hear how you do with all that stuff, good luck!

[@Scooterer]

That praise thing got me... I was always praised for being a quiet kid and i was liked by others for being really quiet and i guess that might be some reason for my Anxiety disorders. But i guess Porn and masturbation addiction added to my social anxiety and depression too much... Currently i am focusing on getting rid of the addiction itself... Its been six months since you uploaded this video and i haven't checked your channel in a long while... Hope you are doing better man!

[@anthonyrigbyisdead4937]

Hey thanks!! Yeah the praise thing I think is a common thing for people with anxiety. Still trying to get over that I think :) I'm glad you've recognized a trigger for your anxiety that's pretty cool. That can be really hard and it takes a lot of work so you should be proud of that! Addiction is an awful thing, I'm sorry you have to deal with that. I hate when people say this to me haha! but try not to be too hard on yourself you're doing what you can! I hope you keep getting better! I am doing good though thanks! I hope you're doing ok too!