ORTHODOX JEW Answers Your Questions | Jewish Life Q and A | Orthodox Jewish Mom (Jar of Fireflies)

In this video I answer your questions about my Orthodox Jewish life! We will cover topics such as modestly, clothing, birth control, kids, Shabbat, and more!
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Hello and welcome! My name is Chana, I’m married to my best friend, and we have three wonderful children together. We also happen to be Orthodox Jews and we homeschool our kids. This video is a sneak peek into our daily lives :) You can see how this particular Jewish homeschool mom sets up her days, rolls with the punches, and gets it all done. Thanks for watching!
#JewishLife #OrthodoxJew #Jew
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Dallas, TX 75379
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Filmed on iPhone 11 Pro Max
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p.s. Please like this video if you enjoyed it, it really supports my channel and helps me see what kind of videos you want to see more of. Thank you!

[@jaroffireflies]

CORRECTION: boys have their bar mitzvah at 13, and girls have their bat mitzvah at 12, I misspoke in the video and mixed up the ages :) Just wanted to clarify! Hello friends! Drop your questions here for a future q and a!

[@hannahbrown9918]

Good morning! I’ve seen a few Jewish people on TikTok talk about not being able to tear toilet paper during Shabbat. Is this true / is that true of Sarfarti Jews/ in your community? I am not Jewish so I apologize if I misspelled or mis-capitalized something!

[@esther-louisabarnett-kraus5690]

How do you deal with people with intellectual disabilities/disabilities? I am autistic (Aspergers) and have an Intellectual disability high functioning though wander thoughts on this one and I’m curious. Sorry if you haven’t had this question.

[@jaroffireflies]

@@esther-louisabarnett-kraus5690 thanks for your question! I’ll put it on my list!

[@jaroffireflies]

@@hannahbrown9918 thanks for your question, I’ll put it on my list!

[@behindthegrandadventure3518]

How do you remain modest during labor and delivery as well as post partum in the hospital?

[@lisahirschlozano823]

We are not religious (I am a former Protestant and my husband is a former Catholic) but I really, really love the idea of Shabbat. I love the special meal part, but mostly I like the idea of turning off all electronics and just being with family and friends for 24 hours. Such a great way to connect and take a break from the craziness of modern life. :)

[@jaroffireflies]

Shabbat truly is something I look forward to each week :) You may be interested in this video I made about creating a day of rest: kzbin.info/www/bejne/o3nFiqNqaZd5pKc

[@lifewithklc]

SAME! I was raised Baptist, converted to Catholicism, and currently consider myself not religious, but I am spiritual. Ever since I watched her Shabbat videos, the idea of a complete disconnect is VERRRRRRY appealing.

[@samanthagordon6215]

I agree. I would love nothing more than to be able to disconnect completely and have my family with me doing the same.

[@lizabethshelberg7715]

Please make a video about infertility

[@margybernard]

In addition to being a weekly feast, it is an actual commandment.

[@jaysondavis7064]

I would love to see a video on your infertility story. It would be so encouraging for anyone going through it and for those of us who have friends and family dealing with the issue. It would help us understand the issue better. I had so many questions answered today that I didn’t realize I had. 😂 I love how you let non-Jewish people learn about your faith. It makes the world such a better place when we can learn about others. And that is so important in the world today. Have a wonderful rest of the week and I can’t wait until Monday’s video, Blessings, Shawn

[@jaroffireflies]

Thank you so much Shawn and thanks for your feedback!

[@happycook6737]

Infertility is very difficult. I lived through it. Even though I am older, I still find things like baby showers, visit to gyno, seeing pregnant colleagues/friends incredibly difficult. I am happy for the pregnant women but profoundly sad I never could have a child. There is nothing anyone can say that could make me feel better about it. There is NO advice I have not yet heard. And adoption is NOT an infertility "cure" so best to never suggest, "What if you adopt?" In my opinion the best thing anyone can say to an infertile woman is NOTHING. Keep your mouth shut on this topic. You wouldn't walk up to a double amputee and ask, "How did the happen? How long have you been missing your legs? Did you know you can get fake legs or use a wheelchair? My friend was a double amputee but then they got lucky....blah, blah, blah." If the woman with infertility brings it up, only then consider commenting. I would instead focus on being a good listener.

[@thecatlady6]

@@happycook6737 thank you for commenting this. Although, I have had a few miscarriages, not quite "infertility" per se, I never know what to say to women about this. And, you've just explained it perfectly - 'unless the woman brings it up herself, don't say anything' (paraphrasing). I try to always respect people's privacy.

[@findingbeautyinthepain8965]

@Happy Cook I’m so sorry for your struggles. Sending you a gentle hug! 🤗 I have a severe health condition and disabilities, and I have been told pregnancy would be extremely difficult for me to handle, so I understand your pain. I just wanted to hop in and say that unfortunately, people do say all those things to amputees. I use crutches half the time and a wheelchair the other half of the time. I’m always asked, “What happened to you,” “How long have you been in a wheelchair,” “Can you move your legs?” etc etc. I always hear people say, “You would’t say x to y type of person,” but sadly, it seems like people think they can ask whoever whatever they want. At least that’s the case in America.

[@happycook6737]

@@findingbeautyinthepain8965 It is most unfortunate many parents don't train their children to grow up to have manners. When I was young, people had manners and morals. There wasn't this current level of perversity and degeneration. The Bible was our moral code and gave us instructions in all areas of life including manners. I am so sorry people are asking you such rude questions. I would be sorely tempted to reply back at them with a rude question if I were asked one. Such as, "Have you always been so short/fat/stupid/clueless/socially awkward/etc???" 😂

[@vsibirsky]

I am always impressed with how thoughtful and articulate you are in these Q and A videos. You are sensitive and not judgmental in your explanations.

[@jaroffireflies]

Thank you so much! I appreciate that :)

[@jaysondavis7064]

I agree so much with this comment

[@foresthillmom]

I agree. I love the informative explanations that never seem apologetic for your religion. I feel inspired to be more clear and speak without over-explaining after watching your videos.

[@dreaG45]

Totally agree!!!

[@aidele5757]

A big thumbs up!

[@T_WC123]

So interesting! Thank you for sharing!

[@jaroffireflies]

Glad you enjoyed it!

[@dehartaz]

Coming from a Christian home school mom of 4. I just wanted to say thank you for your content. We may believe different but there is a lot alike in our home, schooling and dress. I appreciate that.Keep up the great work. Love how your always smiling.

[@jaroffireflies]

Thank you so much Katlyn! I’m so happy you’re here :)

[@aspenenglish4976]

Same for me. I’m a Christian homeschooling mom of 4 as well. I love these videos and Chana’s smile. It makes my day.❤️

[@jaroffireflies]

@@aspenenglish4976 Aw thank you!!!

[@kathyferrara4444]

I agree with you. I am Christian too but I believe we are waiting for the same thing essentially. Jesus was a Jew and that makes sense to me. 💞

[@articufixrubin3106]

You absolutely sparkled when talking about Shabbat! Thank you again for presenting such a positive image for Orthodox Jewish women. If you feel able to discuss your journey toward having children I think that would be very brave and I would love to hear about it. Shabbat Shalom

[@jaroffireflies]

Thank you 😊 And thanks for your feedback about wanting to hear my journey of having kids 💜

[@GoldenGarden9]

I love that synagogues provide flowers so husbands can conveniently pick some up on the way home for Shabbat dinner. Win-Win! Flowers add so much to the beauty and richness of our home lives.

[@jaroffireflies]

It’s such a nice thing :)

[@kaydublin5164]

I love that you teach all of us about your religion, I think understanding helps us all with tolerance.🙂

[@jaroffireflies]

I totally agree :) thank you!

[@malkymandel9925]

I loved this video (as usual). You nailed it describing Shabbos as a weekly holiday. The spiritual aspect, the special foods we cook, the nicer clothes we wear, the break from technology all are part of making it feel like a holiday. It’s the best gift ever and I’m so grateful for it every week. It helps me exhale the old week and accompanying stress and inhale the possibilities of a calm week to come.

[@jaroffireflies]

Oh my gosh yes Malky you described it perfectly as the best gift ever 💜

[@missadel20]

I'm a conservative Jewish woman, our modesty rules are slightly less strict, for example I only wear a tichel when I am leaving my house and going out into public. Or if a non- family member (male) comes to visit. I LOVE to be modest, it makes me feel beautiful but it also makes me feel safe!!! Keep shining your light!!!

[@jaroffireflies]

Thank you so much for your lovely comment and for sharing your experiences!

[@missadel20]

@@jaroffireflies and I think you right back for giving us your time, and just being a very good example of the shining light that we, as Jewish women are supposed to be!!! I can always see it when Hashem has given somebody a little something extra, a little extra light and kindness. A little something to share as an example of Hashem's love. And you got it sweetheart 100%

[@jaroffireflies]

@@missadel20 thank you so very much truly that means a lot 💜💜💜

[@missadel20]

@@jaroffireflies ❤️✡️❤️

[@lindaversil1121]

@@jaroffireflies you are a good Jewish woman and keep the laws more than most Jewish women who were born Jewish. You did it the right way and are a shining example. Keep the videos coming. You are doing a great service teaching everyone here and in such a pleasant manner. May hashem continue to bless you

[@bethbowers5595]

Oh Hannah, there are many things I love about your videos. You are precious. You are funny and sweet. You are real and vulnerable. I also have a deep respect for how you love and clearly enjoy religion. You are refreshing!

[@jaroffireflies]

Thank you so very much Beth! 😊😊😊

[@franny5059]

I am so happy that I found your channel, so interesting & informative. I love the topics you cover, I could listen to you talk all day 😊

[@jaroffireflies]

Thank you so much!

[@effiemills5251]

What a blessing you are, Chana! Your joy in your faith lifts my spirits. You kept me company while l swept and mopped all the hard floors - wouldn’t have done it without you alongside ☺️

[@feliciafisher3748]

Her joy is contagious. I want to try a Shabat.

[@effiemills5251]

@@feliciafisher3748 the Shabbat observance reminds me of how Sunday used to be when I was a child (Anglican Christian, 1970s, northern England) a special day without commercial distractions.

[@jaroffireflies]

Thank you so much Effie! I’m so happy I could keep you company :)

[@jaroffireflies]

Thank you Felicia 😊

[@lisahirschlozano823]

@@effiemills5251 growing up Protestant in New England, Sundays were always special in the same way. Church in the morning, then coffee hour or frequently a special lunch/gathering at church, then usually a big, special Sunday dinner. I try to keep it up with my family and make special Sunday dinners frequently, but not every week. And we don't go to church, we are not religious anymore. Maybe I will make Sunday dinner a thing and really stick with it.

[@MN-lc1xe]

Thank you for being so willing to bring us into your home and teach us about your life and religion.

[@jaroffireflies]

It’s my pleasure 😊

[@gloriasihlis4932]

I just love watching your videos Chana! I'm a Christian and I love hearing you talk about your faith. I find it so interesting and I have learned a lot! I homeschooled my daughter as well but she is all grown up and an adult. I loved homeschooling her. I'm glad you are homeschooling your children. You have to really enjoy your children. They grow up so fast. God bless!

[@jaroffireflies]

Thank you Gloria!

[@loristoner851]

You bring me peace of mind for short bits of time. My husband died In Aug of 2020 very suddenly from pancreatic cancer and I am struggling to find solace. Your voice is soothing to my soul. Thank you

[@jaroffireflies]

I’m so very sorry for your loss Lori! Sending you prayers of comfort and peace

[@princesssmartypantsx]

Hi Chana! I love how positive and cheerful you are. You make my day. Hello from Scotland! :)

[@jaroffireflies]

Hello from Texas! Thanks Emma ❤️

[@ithinkdoyou]

*giggles* I love the flowers for Sabbath, it amuses me that while not mandatory, there is clearly an "understanding" about what men should do. It is very sweet.

[@jaroffireflies]

Lol right?!? I’ve grown to like them more and if I don’t have them now I usually mention it 😂

[@sililly1379]

8:42 discussing the Sabbath as weekly single oasis, it's a holiday and preparing for it is like preparing for Thanksgiving once every week. So true. We love our Sabbath experience. Shabbat shalom. Baruch Hashem.

[@darktastee]

I’m a reformed Jewish, homeschooling, remote working, mother of 1. I converted before I was married - full tribunal conservative conversion. I was told females are so holy/pure that we don’t have to cover our hair, what our your thoughts? Love your content! My son is so involved online, I’m having difficulty- he likes to say Christian phrases as curses. I remind him that Jesus was a rabbi, a human being who shouldn’t be praised or cursed, but he still does it. It’s getting frustrating, what are your thoughts? When you convert, you agree to have 2 children, however, my health didn’t allow it, so 1 was ok. I would adopt immediately if I thought we were stable enough, but my hubby isn’t healthy enough 😢

[@marsienewbold8349]

Oh, Hunny... I want to know how you seem to instinctively know which dishes go into the oven at what time and get everything ready at once! The #1 thing I like most about your posts is seeing the love you put into serving your family... You touch my heart! xoxo

[@jaroffireflies]

You’re so kind 💜 truly it’s planning lol and alarms 😂 Nothing magical to it! I legit make a spreadsheet for thanksgiving

[@marsienewbold8349]

@@jaroffireflies Oh, you NERD!!!!! Can't wait to see!!!!!

[@jaroffireflies]

@@marsienewbold8349 😂😂😂😂😂

[@StarOnTheWater]

Who's saying it's instinctively? 😅

[@lindseyripple1413]

Let me just say I wholeheartedly appreciate your realistic home in the background. We homeschool and the “‘mirage” of clutter-free/minimalist homes gives me a lot of guilt when I can’t keep up. Thank you!!

[@jaroffireflies]

Thank you!!! I’m so glad you appreciate that :)

[@kailinngillen1182]

Great Q and A video. I love your openness and honesty. I would love to watch a video about your birth experiences. 🥰👍🙏❤

[@jaroffireflies]

Thank you Kailinn ❤️

[@traceyjackson8552]

I enjoy your videos so so much, your openness is amazing, thank you 😊

[@jaroffireflies]

💜💜💜

[@debra333]

Hi, sweet Chana! Thank you for yet another wonderful video. I'm so happy to read through comments; your beautiful, thoughtful, and kind viewers say (so often in lovely prose) what we all feel: You are a miracle. Thank you for sharing your amazing life with us. 🫂

[@jaroffireflies]

Oh Debra you are too kind 😊😊😊💜💜💜 thank you

[@Nytingalle]

Thank you Chana for being such a beautiful light in this world. I would LOVE to hear your fertility journey

[@jaroffireflies]

Thank you so much Sarah and thank you for the feedback!

[@TheRabbimichael]

Dear Chana, I very much enjoy your series! Just an insight on how the custom of flowers for Shabbat came about: The great Kabbalists of Safed (Arizal and others) who lived five hundred years ago derived the tradition of decorating the table with roses from the verse in the Song of Songs which compares the Jewish people to a “rose among the thorns, so is my beloved amongst the daughters “. How appropriate for shabbat when we celebrate the love between The holy one blessed is he and the Jewish people! Keep up the great work! Meir from Brooklyn

[@jaroffireflies]

Oh I love that! Thank you so much for sharing that story!!!

[@Estikm82]

As an orthodox jewish woman...I can say u did an amazing job answering these questions...I have personally had to answer many questions to non jews who assume we are more like the amish who have way more restrictions, and they're usually surprised to hear that we are a lot more modern

[@jaroffireflies]

Thank you Esther! I appreciate that :) Ya i was hoping to shed a little light on Orthodox Jews through this channel so people don’t think we are like what they see on tv shows lol

[@courtneyhartman3130]

Yes, would love to hear about your journey of overcoming infertility and your birth stories! My husband and I are just entering the phase of our lives where we are getting serious about planning our family. We also already know that any pregnancy I have will be high-risk. Looking for any and all encouragement!

[@jaroffireflies]

Prayers for healthy pregnancies and babies Courtney! Thanks for letting me know that you want to hear my story :)

[@Nickabod79]

@@jaroffireflies Seconding this one as a mom of one miracle baby (who is now in kindergarten) after fertility treatment. I love your channel. I have learned so much. Thank you.

[@cynthiacondron9397]

I really appreciate that you are raising well rounded children.

[@jaroffireflies]

Thanks Cynthia:)

[@tinas8085]

I'm very interested to hear about your fertility story! As I've mentioned before, it's something my husband and I are going through and it's nice to not feel alone 🙂 stories of hope and success are beautiful!

[@jaroffireflies]

Thanks for your feedback Tina!

[@allisonpacino]

Chana I have to tell you that your videos have been a peace to me these past 2 weeks since I found your channel. Thank you.

[@jaroffireflies]

Thank you so much Allison! I am so happy that you are here! Welcome!

[@angelateague5792]

I do love a good maxi skirt! I found your channel last Saturday, and I have been watching all the videos. Thank you for sharing!

[@jaroffireflies]

Welcome Angela! I’m so glad you’re here!

[@callyg101]

Hello Chana! I just started watching your videos a few weeks ago, I'm not Jewish, but I enjoy learning about different languages, cultures, and religions and different faiths sometimes play a role in those topics as well. I'm really enjoying your videos so far they are very informative, and go into great detail about how you live as someone who happens to also be Jewish. I am a former chef, so, I actually watched a few videos from another channel the other day, as I didn't realize there was such a thing as Jewish cookware/ kitchen stores, and there are some products that I never knew would only ever be found in a Jewish kitchen/home decor store. I thought that was super cool! I would love to visit one someday just to have a look around and see all the beautiful kitchen wares and home decor. Actually, that's another question I have: If one who is not Jewish wanted to shop or browse a Jewish store, (I'm aware you would likely have to dress accordingly to the Jewish faith if you were to do this), but, would you be refused as you aren't Jewish? / Would Judaism be a requirement if you were genuinely curious about shopping in these stores? Just wondered. I was wondering, per this video: I know you answered the question about dressing modestly, and how you wear skirts for all your daily activities, and I assume this is kind of a redundant question given that you aren't supposed to wear shorts as a woman in the Jewish faith, but, I will ask it anyway just in case lol. Are "skorts" allowed? I just wondered because, when you talked about the photos where you were at the running races, the modest clothing you were wearing looked quite "athleisure" and breathable, even from the photo it looks as though your skirt and long sleeve shirt are quite thin and would be very useful on a hot day when you have to dress modestly. Thank You for making all of your videos, I am really enjoying them. I am learning a ton of new things about Judaism, which I never knew before. Always enjoy your videos! Thank you for doing what you do for those of us who have no idea about Judaism. :)

[@jaroffireflies]

Hello! Yes, you could absolutely visit a Jewish store of any sort. It would of course be respectful to dress modestly. For the skorts, skirts with shorts underneath are fine (including attached underneath), but if it’s the skort where it’s like shorts in the back that would not be acceptable. The length of skorts is often too short as well. Thank you for your kind words!

[@callyg101]

@@jaroffireflies Hello again! :) That is very interesting! I would not have thought skorts would be totally acceptable (depending on the kind and type of skort). I'm very curious about hair coverings as well, I will most likely watch your other videos on that, which you linked in the description below this video. I am someone who is LGBT+ so, I'm a fan of drag as an art and a form of self-expression, so things like synthetic wigs, etc fascinate me. I'm not sure if the wigs which are used for hair-covering purposes in the Jewish faith are made of real hair or if they are synthetic? Or maybe a bit of both? I would have to have a look at your other videos for further clarification. But, I mostly definitely will! :) I have a million questions! haha. :) Thank you for answering some of them that I've had so far. I'll continue watching and learning!

[@carolinedowdeswell4897]

Thank you for this, I'm learning so much from you, many things I never even considered. And do love it when your family or cute doggo make guest appearances too 🥰

[@jaroffireflies]

Thank you so much Caroline! 💜

[@hannahmiriam82]

My mother always said, if you can't do it with a skirt on, you probably shouldn't be doing it. I am a carpenter by trade, started when I was 16 with my brothers and still do it now with my son and husband 20 years later. I wear modest mid calf skirts, long sleeves, collars etc every day and it hasn't stopped me with anything.

[@jaroffireflies]

Oh wow I love that!!! And she’s not wrong 😂

[@jennifertaub7432]

Would really love to hear your story regarding infertility struggle. I'm almost at 5 years and still praying everyday that we will have our miracle. A little chizuk always helps!

[@jaroffireflies]

Thank you for your feedback Jennifer! And I’ll daven for you!

[@nicolatiller828]

Hey Jen! I’m still davening for you ❤️

[@jennifertaub7432]

@@nicolatiller828 😘 Ditto!!

[@jennifertaub7432]

@@jaroffireflies Thank you💞 Tzvia Mechla Bat Rochel Bruna

[@passionfruitfruit]

Jennifer, I hope your dreams come true and you'll have your little miracle in your arms❤️ Chazak ve'ematz.

[@lailasleiman7221]

Hi Channa, I am Lea and I live in a Jewish community in Antwerp. I am a mother of four 😊. Love your videos. It is interesting to see American Jewish life. Send you greetings from Antwerp and gud shabbes 💕

[@jaroffireflies]

Thank you so much for your kind words and lovely introduction! Shabbat shalom!

[@MediocreComedian]

Thank Chana for the bread recipe. I hate to bog you down with another question, but I use only avocado, coconut or olive oils. Do you think one of these would be a good substitute? Thank you for your openness about your life. I really admire that. Also, I’ve been wanting to tell you for a while that I just love the background music in your vids. It is so sweet and just perfect for you. It makes me feel like I’m sitting at your table and having tea with you and we are chatting up a storm. Does that sound too weird? ☺️ Have a blessed week and I’ll see you Monday 💕

[@jaroffireflies]

You’re so welcome! I’ve never tried those as substitutes, but please let me know if they work out with you so I can share with others!

[@ToniaLenza-bs5cv]

I love your videos

[@jaroffireflies]

Thank you!

[@felicitaforever1]

I once saw a photograph of Edwardian ladies, I believe, in their “walking dress” which still had a corset underneath it and was of course long as per the dress codes of the era, up on a mountain, doing actual climbing with belay ropes and all. After that I started believing one can always find ways to do things in a skirt haha. Thank you for making these videos Chana. ☺️

[@jaroffireflies]

I love that 💜 thank you!

[@millyfields2024]

Thank you! I’m not Orthodox or even Jewish but the way Orthodox Judaism is presented in media absolutely disgusting. Your videos are so informative and educational. 💖

[@jaroffireflies]

Thanks so much for being here! Ya, I totally agree. Tv shows portray Jews in such a bad and generally completely false way. It’s awful!

[@chanahminuk8485]

I think you meant to say that for boys obligation for mitzvos is 13, for girls, 12. Shemona Esrei said with lips moving is the manner in which Chanah prayed in Shmeul I in the Tanach

[@jaroffireflies]

Thanks Chabad! Yes I misspoke and I appreciate you pointing that out!

[@historicallyapproximate]

What a joyful video to watch after a hard day, thank you Chana

[@jaroffireflies]

You’re so very welcome!

[@lymora1910]

Good morning! I have seen so many of your videos. I am so happy to learn many customs of Orthodox Jews. Also, feel so amazed at the fact that you home school 3 kids… I have a hard time parenting 1 kid. I don’t home school, seeing you homeschool makes me feel like I could do it. Thanks for all the info!

[@jaroffireflies]

You’re so very welcome! Homeschooling is not without its challenges but it’s also super rewarding and a ton of fun :)

[@caryalvarado8437]

You are such a light in the world! Bless you & thank you!💜

[@jaroffireflies]

Thank you so much Cary! 💜😊

[@stephanieakli]

I very much appreciate your videos and your openess! Could you do a video or talk more on an upcoming video about the mikvah ? Like what it is, how often orthodox jewish women are required to participate, how long the entire process takes, if it is optional, etc? Thank you and please keep being the light that you are!

[@jaroffireflies]

Thank you so much for your kind words Stephanie! Yes I absolutely want to do a video all about the mikvah :) I want to arrange a visit to a mikvah when I do it so I can give y’all a tour and answer a lot of the technical questions:)

[@stephanieakli]

@@jaroffireflies That would be amazing!! Thank you for your kindness when sharing about such intimate topics too. I appreciate the way you do that without crossing the privacy boundaries of your own life! Have a great weekend!

[@jaroffireflies]

@@stephanieakli you are so very welcome and thank you so much for your I kind and encouraging words :)

[@Zara-fd2ec]

Chana🌹Great questions& so lovely you are so open to Q&A videos💐. I love maxi/midi skirts. They are so comfortable and non confining. Ty 4 sharing💕💖💕

[@jaroffireflies]

Thank you 💜

[@Zara-fd2ec]

@@jaroffireflies Chana you are very welcome💜

[@jaroffireflies]

@@Zara-fd2ec 😊😊😊

[@villemokellin]

I love this video, my modesty rules are alot like yours. But i live in a cold climat, so i have tigths under most of my dresses. For me this is just how i live, its not based on religion. I was not modest in my 20s... But as an adult i like modesty but i still like to have my hear down sometimes (most of the time its in a bun...) This video answerd so many of the things i wanted to know. Thank you for beeing so open about things :)

[@jaroffireflies]

Hello Laila! Thanks so much for sharing some of your experience and for your kind words ❤️

[@lindaversil1121]

Non Jewish women are also supposed to dress modestly. If I have non modest clothes I have to throw them out rather then give them away to a non Jewish women. Hundred yrs ago even non Jewish women dressed very modestly

[@aspenenglish4976]

There are lined leggings that you can wear under your long skirts. I don’t personally do that but I do know of people that do.

[@anandroidsentbycyberlife5487]

@@lindaversil1121 Why are non Jewish women supposed to dress modestly?

[@olivebenson3235]

Thank you for sharing. I love hearing about other religions and customs. I believe it's important in the world we are living in today to respect each other regardless of our faiths or our beliefs.

[@jaroffireflies]

You are so welcome! Thank you for your kind and supportive words :)

[@MarySmith-gu5nb]

Holy Cow! Your channel is exploding!

[@jaroffireflies]

😊

[@camcas727]

Thank you for you refreshing and thoughtful honesty

[@jaroffireflies]

You are so welcome 🤗

[@tamarfischer283]

Dear chana. I was so moved to hear you- Chana - say " we say the words but our voice is not heard." Quoting almost verbatim the words of the first Chana, whose prayer is the prototype for the shemonei esrei " her lips were moving but her voice was not heard". I loved this whole movie. You are the ULTIMATE storyteller!

[@jaroffireflies]

Oh wow I didn’t realize my words were so close! Part of why I chose my name was because of her amazing story :) Thank you Tamar!

[@LatinEarthAngel]

@@jaroffireflies Thank you so much for your videos and sharing some of your life with us. I have a question about prayer. In Judaism Are all prayers a set prayer or said from a book, or is it ok to say your own prayers?

[@jaroffireflies]

@@LatinEarthAngel you are so welcome! I answer your question in this video: kzbin.info/www/bejne/n4DIhqGjYrCefNU

[@petscanner5]

Hi Chana, I really enjoy your videos. Thank you. You are such a gentle sweet person.

[@jaroffireflies]

Thank you so much Joanne!

[@aspenenglish4976]

My fertility issue issue sounds like something I experienced. Doctors told me I would not be able not become pregnant without fertility treatments. That was not true. I actually get pregnant very easily. I did have a miscarriage that was difficult. Things in the end have turned out how we wanted. I think educating my children about other religions was a crucial part of homeschooling and practicing our deeply held faith. We watched videos, read about the beliefs and discussed different belief systems. In the end, it actually reinforced our faith and religious practice. I wanted them to develop their own beliefs and be educated about the world. It may sound foreign for some but it was something that I felt they needed to know in order for them to develop. They are adults now and practice the faith they grew up in. Exploring the world religions helped them to know for themselves what they believe. It also helped them to have respect for others of different faiths. I love your channel and am so happy that every Monday morning , I know I’m going to see your beautiful smile and face. You help start my week of better. Much love to you and your beautiful family. I’m still researching if what I use for my hair is kosher and can be used for your beautiful daughter’s hair. I’ve tried it all and it’s the best product I’ve found for curly hair.❤️

[@jaroffireflies]

I’m so sorry for your loss! I’m so glad things went well in the end :)

[@aidele5757]

Such fun photos of you!

[@jaroffireflies]

Thanks!!! 💜

[@bev3279]

Hi Chana, I’ve been watching your videos for a few months now and I so enjoy them! I’m a Christian (and old enough to be your Mom!). I have always respected your faith and I love how you are so open to explain everything. Keep shining your beautiful light! I love your smile!!

[@jaroffireflies]

Thank you so much Bev!

[@StarOnTheWater]

I'm learning so much from you!

[@jaroffireflies]

I'm so glad!

[@karenhicks7816]

Love the Q and A.

[@jaroffireflies]

Thanks Karen!

[@keahithefieryone8513]

For me, if you are good to one another, help one another, be kind to one another, then all your paths to find your Divine leads to the One, this is and what love for one another has always been about - blessed be in all things, Amene

[@jaroffireflies]

The Golden Rule :) Seems everyone has some form of that!

[@daphnelandsborough3663]

You are an amazing woman. If you ever decide to go back to school when your kids are grown, you would be an amazing professor or high school teacher. I love they way you process your thoughts and feelings. Amazing. Thank for sharing your life with us

[@jaroffireflies]

Aw thank you so much! I definitely enjoy teaching :)

[@aEquanimity]

Great video! Thanks for taking the time to share your answers :)

[@jaroffireflies]

You’re so welcome! Thanks so much for your kind words and for being here!

[@natashaa43]

As a Brit, Woooo Chana, those temps scare the daylight out of me, just give me a nice easy English spring afternoon and I am just about tolerating it!! You are one brave woman! While, I am not particularly frum myself, I do wear skirts all the time and haven't worn jeans for years, I have never found it restrictive either and am even considering wearing more during swimming, though my current swimsuit is more modest than the average. I LOVE modest swimwear, it is just so inclusive. Oh and I would love a video about fertility as I had secondary fertility issues too (my girls are 16 years apart).

[@jaroffireflies]

Thank you for sharing your experiences and for your letting me know you’re interested in my video idea!

[@pmarty4190]

You're awesome...love your videos and at the end I love your human bloopers...we are only human ...I watch your videos many times it's my aw moment.

[@jaroffireflies]

Aw thank you!!! 😊

[@misssayrah10]

Hi! I would LOVE to hear all about your infertility journey as I have also struggled with infertility (and now have an amazing 2.5 year old and another on the way)! Thank you for all that you share!

[@jaroffireflies]

Thank you so much for your feedback! I’m so sorry you had to struggle with infertility also but YAY for your babies!

[@dreaG45]

Hello dear Chana. Can’t wait to listen to this video. 🥰🤗 Really appreciate your all the time modesty point. ❣️ I totally understand your trying to find your style in modesty. Same here.

[@jaroffireflies]

Enjoy!

[@sharonreinblatt9790]

How did your family feel about your conversion? Do they feel left out of holidays? Do you celebrate the Christian holidays with your family?

[@jaroffireflies]

Hi Sharon! Some of your questions are answered here: kzbin.info/www/bejne/aam7nHp3j5xlg80 and others I will answer in my next q and a :)

[@rachellopez8357]

I’m so grateful that you have a gf challah recipe! I miss challah so much 😍

[@jaroffireflies]

Enjoy the bread! It’s super yum!

[@sheilakingrey-gebe1366]

Cartwheels!! You are such a delight, Chana! 🤣❤️

[@jaroffireflies]

I’m so glad you are enjoying :)

[@mariaferreras5411]

You are so lovely. Always cheerful. And a beautiful smile. Thank you for teaching us. I had heard that in the Jewish religion the mother is the heart of the home. Love that saying!

[@jaroffireflies]

Thank you so much for your kind words Maria! 😊💜

[@n.batshevay.7009]

Mother/ wife:)

[@michellesunshinestar]

That's a good question. In Mormonism you can get a civil divorce really easily. But it's not considered a temple divorce. So it's really bad for woman because they can't remarry in the church because they are still considered remarried to the husband. But the husband can remarry because of polygamy. It's hard to explain, but I was really mad when I found that out. I tried to make it work, but eventually I just left Mormonism all together.

[@jaroffireflies]

Oh wow that’s interesting! In Judaism you need your get (religious divorce) for either party to remarry.

[@edakanari4408]

Hey , Whilst that is true sort of that, not 100% true that in the temple you can choose to get married to a first spouse no matter what the gender and be sealed together it is only complicated if there is a divorce civilly and no though the temple which it is true a woman can't be sealed to more then 1 man when she is alive they can be sealed when they pass where as men can but that is part of our theology but this is only 1 option there is always the option to break the original temple sealing and be resealed to a new spouse so it is more complicated then just 1 or 2 options

[@A2D4]

Some of the above information of Michelle Starshiner is quite misleading & therefore incorrect. First of all, every divorce is different so I wouldn’t make a blanket statement that getting a civil divorce can be done “really easily”. A divorced woman in The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints can remarry “ in the Church”, meaning another marriage is definitely recognized by the Church as a legal marriage. However, if said woman was originally married in the Temple & doesn’t get a Temple divorce, she cannot remarry in the Temple. And to say a man can remarry in the Temple ‘because of polygamy’ is just blatantly wrong. There has never been any statement or announcement or revelation or policy saying that is the reason. God has His rules and reasons and members are not asked to always understand or even necessarily agree at this time. Many answers will not be provided until the next life. Please also note that members of that Church respectfully ask that they not be known as or called Mormons. Their center of worship is Jesus Christ, not Mormon. It’s interesting that many people who leave that Church can’t seem to leave it alone.

[@inthedaysstillleft1257]

Thank you for including 'out takes' at the end:)

[@jaroffireflies]

You are so welcome!

[@LovelyRitaholic]

I've heard many different things, but I was taught that above the elbow was okay as long as more than 50% of your upper arm is covered, collar bone is highly debated, and for knees it's a machloket as to whether it's just above or just below the knee but most poskim agree that you have a tefach of wiggle room. And for pants it's not that it's mens clothing, but that it exposes the shape of your legs and behind (as some communities also have the practice for men not to wear normal trousers also) I am also an Orthodox convert btw, not arguing just putting my perspective :) I could go on and on about tznius ahaha

[@jaroffireflies]

Thank you so much for sharing your experience! Some of what you have said is not how I learned things or what our rabbis would say is acceptable. But communities definitely differ :) On this channel I share what I know and I appreciate you contributing to the conversation :)

[@sharonf106]

So, happy to hear your response about what your kids are reading. During an evening PTA meeting that my nine year old daughter and I attended, a woman turned around and asked why I let my daughter read comic books (she was reading a Betty & Veronica comic at the time). I was kind of confused as my reading had never been censored. I answered that I didn't care what she read, as long as she enjoyed reading she could read whatever she wanted to read. I knew that she could be trusted to read age appropriate material and she never proved me wrong. Twenty eight years later, she still reads all the time like her mother! It's a common thing in our house for my daughter, SIL and myself, to all be sitting with a book in our hands. It's nice because we all love mysteries and we're able to share our books. At Christmas, we adopted a Norwegian tradition and gift each other books instead of things we don't need. It's nice because we can recommend a book we liked, that we think they might enjoy. It's great because Kindle allows you to share your library with a family member which means we have more to choose from. We also utilize the public library's ebooks.

[@rissylantz4072]

Hi Chana Love watching your channel. I'm learning so much about the Jewish faith ✡ . I'm Catholic and think it great to learn and be knowledgeable and respectful of other people's beliefs. My question is about your family. I would love a video on how and what they thought about your journey to becoming a Jew. Do your parents and extended family come visit or you visit them? Are your children close with their grandparents and aunts/uncles cousins etc.? You talk alot about your husband's family ( which is wonderful and such a blessing) but never much about yours. You tell us about them visiting and but not about your side. I LOVE your Channel and think your such a wonderful vlogger. Much love from Vancouver BC Canada 🇨🇦

[@jaroffireflies]

Hello and thank you so very much for your lovely comment :) I don’t talk about my extended family much here at all both out of respect for their privacy as well as because they are not my stories to tell. I will say that we are very close and see each other often.

[@rissylantz4072]

@@jaroffireflies I'm sorry I shouldn't have asked. Now I feel a bit foolish and nosey. Hope you have a lovely day and sorry again ⚘

[@jaroffireflies]

@@rissylantz4072 please don’t apologize! It’s fine :) People ask this all the time :) thanks so much for your understanding:)

[@amywallace896]

I love your videos. And being from Dallas, I think they are so great. I have learned so much. Thank you.

[@jaroffireflies]

Thanks Amy!

[@zenamorgan1754]

Growing up in borough park Brooklyn, it was very common for families to have up to six maybe eight kids. It’s actually kind of nice, you always had a friend.

[@jaroffireflies]

Thanks for sharing your experience! I love seeing big families :)

[@ingridpear1882]

I always wondered over who had favorite siblings, it's interesting to me friends who came from 4-6 kids tend to think 6 kids is a good number to have. Only children have mixed thoughts but most l know say they wish they had one. Being seperate in age is different again. I have one close in age, being treated like twins sometimes drove me crazy, always wished there was another sibling to occupy her at times...Take what God gives and count your blessings 🙂 .

[@-MaryPoppins-]

@@ingridpear1882 I can only speak for myself, but being the eldest of four kids (quite a small lot considering how many more people tend to have 🤣), I specifically remember own cold hood ending at the age of six. I was in charge of my little brother at that point. Then at the age of ten I got a baby sister, and at the age of 11 I got my baby sister (she’s 18 now, but will forever be a drooling baby in my eyes 🤣). If done as it SHOULD be, it can be beautiful. But as it tends to be, it’s an experience that requires therapy to heal from (not that it’s only people who have been through traumatic events who should go to therapy, but you understand 🤣). I’m glad I’m who I am today, but I am still grieving for the child that never was. She deserved to be a child without the added stress of the expectation of being a stand in adult.

[@atha1ia454]

I came across your channel by accident watching a wig vemideo, subscribed. Always so interested ti learn about others religions and cultures. Very wholesome content, love it ♡♡

[@jaroffireflies]

Thank you and welcome!

[@atha1ia454]

@@jaroffireflies 💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜

[@michaelurvoy]

Hello, Chana, I hope that you and your family are well. This is a perfect video for me for today as I am suffering from a concussion so can't look at a screen too long. I can just listen to you in the background with my eyes closed. 😆

[@jaroffireflies]

Oh no! Refuah shlema! I hope you are ok!

[@michaelurvoy]

@@jaroffireflies Thank you. I am okay, thank you. It certainly could have been a more serious concussion so I am very grateful.

[@jaroffireflies]

@@michaelurvoy I’m glad you’re ok :)

[@sallyannandrade5672]

Hi Chana,thanks for your uplifting and inspiring video... I have recently decided to start wearing a Sheitel,l really feel quite trepidatious but it was your first question which confirmed to me that l definitely will observe this Mitzvah...Baruch HaShem. You inspire us all in ways you cannot imagine. Bless you Sarah-Chana xx

[@jaroffireflies]

Wow Sarah Chana thank you so much for taking the time to tell me this ❤️❤️❤️ I’m so happy for you!

[@marcrivas5796]

About vocalizing the words of the Amidah: According to Maran in the Shulchan Aruch 101 the halacha is that you should whisper the words of the Amidah loud enough that you can hear yourself. According to most of the mekkubalim (including the Chida, the Ben Ish Chai, and the Kaf HaChaim), you should only mouth the words of the Amidah and your voice should not be heard, and according to those mekkubalim this was the minhag of the Arizal. However, there are other mekkubalim that hold that the Arizal's minhag was like Maran. HaRav Ovadia Yosef in Halichot Olam rules that one should follow Maran and whisper the words loud enough to hear yourself but quiet enough that others cannot hear you. As far as I'm aware most Moroccans go according to the Shulchan Aruch in this instance because Rav Shalom Messas holds that when there is a machloket between the Kabbalah and the Poskim the halakha is according to the Poskim. Shabbat Shalom!

[@jaroffireflies]

Thanks for the info!

[@marciawatson7442]

I find your channel very interesting. For me learning about your religion and culture and practice just amaze me

[@jaroffireflies]

Thanks for being here :)

[@InkyM4]

Fellow frum lady here, I'd love to see more of your dairy-or-meat replacement recipes and vegan recipes!

[@jaroffireflies]

Thanks so much for the suggestion! I’ve been wanting to do a week of kosher dinners video, so stay tuned for that!

[@barbseverino1278]

Great video Chana. Have a great day.

[@jaroffireflies]

Thank you Barb! You too!

[@kimc555]

Yes yes! Birth stories of the kids please!

[@jaroffireflies]

Thanks for the feedback!

[@kimc555]

@@jaroffireflies I feel like it’s something all mums have. No matter how our kids came in this world or into your family, every mum has her story xx

[@jaroffireflies]

@@kimc555 that’s so true :) It’s such a pivotal part of our lives, each time ❤️

[@TheLastchild101]

Thank you for being open and honest about infertility. My sister in law and my brother have dealt with this. They are now proud parents to my beautiful 9 year old niece, thanks to adoption. But, their struggles and heartache were so hard for all of us who love them. In fact, she just published her first book about dealing with infertility, IVF, and Huntingtons Disease. I'm definitely going to recommend she watch your video!

[@jaroffireflies]

Thank you!

[@3hearts1lifeyo-yo42]

If you are up for it, I’d love to hear more about fertility treatment options. Personal I love how Judaism is very much equality between men and women. Challah is life! It’s the best bread ever. I may need to see about ordering some loafs for our synagogue once we start an able to have meals after service together. We have a good handful of people who are gluten-free for medical reasons.

[@jaroffireflies]

I also love how equal men and women are in Judaism. Equal but different:)

[@franbowers7032]

Hi Chana another great video. I love you talking about things that matter to you. Your Q&As are always full of information. Hope you and your family are well x

[@jaroffireflies]

Thank you so much!

[@vaidutesecret]

Dear Chana, thank you so much for very interesting videos you share with us. I would really like to hear your fertility story as we are going through this chalenge and the success stories always give hope. May Hashem bless you and your whole family with very strong health, very long and happy life!❤

[@jaroffireflies]

Thank you so much! I’m so sorry you are through that challenge 💜

[@patricianadasi1233]

Dear Chana, What an amazing and interesting video once again!😊 And thank you so much for answering my questions as well!❤ Have a wonderful day!

[@jaroffireflies]

Thanks so much Patricia!

[@LINNYMAP]

Chana how do women manage the Mikvah during unpredictable menopause and do they stop going when menopause has ended? I enjoy your videos about your life and religion. Thank you for sharing.

[@jaroffireflies]

Fabulous question thank you! I’ll add it to my list!

[@courtneylyons8404]

Or unpredictable cycles in general. I would have a period for 7-10 days the spot on and off for another 3 or 4. At that rate I would never have gotten to the mikvah or to be intimate with my husband. How is this handled between Dr, rabbi and woman?

[@lindaversil1121]

I have been through that. When menopause has ended and you have stopped menstruating you go to the mikva one last time and you don't have to ever go again

[@lindaversil1121]

@@user-bw3fl7fj9w I don't think so. There is no reason to according to the law. I'll check but i think no

[@lindaversil1121]

@@user-bw3fl7fj9w I looked it up. You can go to the mikva after menapause but since it not required or a mitzvah you do not have to prepare or say the blessing

[@merle5546]

Love that video!!! Thank you so much! 😍

[@Lori_M]

Question -- How do you manage modesty when visiting a doctor or being in the hospital? Are there different rules for physician visits, or do you visit physicians within your faith who work around the modesty rules?

[@jaroffireflies]

Thanks Lori! I’ll add this one to my list for the next video!

[@lindaversil1121]

@@jaroffireflies i only use women doctors

[@noelhayes6862]

Thanks for another great video, I have always been interested in the Jewish culture and religion and learning even more from you is wonderful

[@jaroffireflies]

Thanks Noel!

[@TheSophisticatedmay]

Good morning from New Jersey. My son's are grown and the older who is 24 is in Medical school and the younger who is 21 is graduating from university early. I have sent them to all boy private Catholic schools growing up mainly because I was always working and wanted them to have a good religious foundation. As they became older, they do not practice our faith to which I pray they return to. I don't mind having them choose however, it really breaks my heart that they don't follow what they were learning. How would you feel if your children did not practice your faith when they are adults? All I can say is this is a very hard time in my life and I sometimes can't even cope. All I can do is pray and hope. Let me know how you would feel and how your parents felt when you decided to practice a different faith. Thanks and keep up with your wonderful channel. I love watching.

[@jaroffireflies]

Hello! That’s must be so hard for you! I answered your question in this video: kzbin.info/www/bejne/aam7nHp3j5xlg80 I hope it helps you

[@suitablyCatlike]

Your story is not uncommon. Did you pray with your boys growing up? Did you attend church together every week and on feast days? How much time did you dedicate as a family to prayer and sharing the beauty and truth of the Catholic faith? Religious formation begins in the home, parents are the most important catechists in a child's life and the true foundation of religious practice. You can still do this even though they're grown: talk about what your priest said during the homily, mention what you learned in Bible study, talk about what you are doing during Advent to prepare your heart and soul for Christmas, share with them a story about a Saint, etc. You have to show them how Catholicism is important in your life and model how they should live the Faith.

[@TheSophisticatedmay]

@@suitablyCatlike Hi and actually the answer is sadly no. I didn't. When they were little I did but then I worked 2 jobs and went back to school for my doctoral degree. I was a full time university professor and I worked in critical care pulmonary 36 hours a week and studied for my doctoral degree all to pay for their private school education. I didn't even make them lunch for school or breakfast. They ate a can of beets or spinach for breakfast and went to school and their friends shared their lunch with them. I was an awful mother when it comes to that. I spent all my time taking care of others to support my family and give them a good education. I'm sorry now. my husband did the best he could too. I guess I'm not smart when it comes to raising children. It's sad but true.

[@TheSophisticatedmay]

@@jaroffireflies Yes, it's very hard. Breaks my heart. I cry every day. I pray to Mary and Jesus and all the angels and saints to bring my children back to the Lord. I know he has a plan. I will always believe there is a plan.

[@suitablyCatlike]

I can see how all of that would lead to no time or energy to do much as a family, that doesn't make you an awful mother. You clearly instilled a good work ethic if one son is in Medical school. But I know plenty of mothers who had/have far less on their plates than what you describe whose children fell away from religion too because they did not demonstrate the importance of God in their lives. Of all my cousins only my brother and I still attend church, including the cousins who went to church every week growing up, so it's not just you. But in addition to prayers you can show your sons how important God is to you, they're still watching and still learning from you.

[@olgastrother4116]

Thank you once again for being so kind and very thorough in all of you explanations.

[@jaroffireflies]

You are so welcome Olga!

[@lhillenburg]

I'm a doctor and work in the hospital and have to wear scrubs (with pants) along with most of the hospital staff. Are you allowed to have a career/job that you have to have a uniform pants?

[@jaroffireflies]

I’ll add this to my list thank you!

[@headnurseRN7143]

Great video. Can't wait for your wardrobe video! Thank you.

[@jaroffireflies]

Thank you!!!

[@lennyannstewie7361]

Loved your video like always, but can you please please make another video doing your groceries? I want to learn more about kosher food.. 😍

[@jaroffireflies]

Did you see my recent Costco haul video? Here’s a link: kzbin.info/www/bejne/oIiadZ6Hac2Ul68