Our 19-Year-Old is Not Obeying Our Rules!

[@thecrackedcocoon5423]

Once a person say "I'm grown I do what I want" its time to go.

[@legony1]

😂👍🏼

[@the13rook]

Yup time to move out

[@shutupandeatasmr4498]

My uncle always said this about his kids he would be like “they are grown i can’t tell em anything” Wack!!

[@gabriellekelly3462]

Yep

[@jeep19]

And cut off the 💰 💰 💰

[@CaseyBurnsInvesting]

I stopped following my parents rules under their roof when I was 19. I was promptly removed. Thankful for that.

[@RestaurantManager101]

Same my man

[@jenniferj6580]

Do you still have a relationship with your parents?

[@RestaurantManager101]

Jennifer J IG your talking to me, my father passed a few years ago and my mom, well, I’ll always love her.

[@RestaurantManager101]

On track to be an everyday millionaire within a years time.

[@kefkapalazzo1]

@@RestaurantManager101 thats incredible but that can't pay for a broken relationship. I don't blame you though. they didn't want to work with you when you were trying to figure things out, they shouldn't be there when you figured them out

[@jpdst29]

If she feels she’s “adult” enough to go on her own and do what she wants, then she’s adult enough to pay her own adult expenses.

[@knowthyself8233]

Word

[@lovethemflowers]

Yup! The Bank of Mom and Dad is now closed!

[@sunflowerz54]

Consequences for your actions

[@armyretguy7365]

I have a rule for my kids. When you’re 18, it’s college or military, but you ain’t hanging around here. Peace out, I’m ready to lounge in my underwear...

[@navtronics]

@@lovethemflowers is QQ

[@blacksnk]

You can't tell a legal adult they can't spend the weekend away, but the same token, they can't expect you to pay their bills!

[@ralphdrees4413]

You can make whatever rules you want for the people that live in your house. They can choose to follow them or suffer the consequences that you decide exist for those who break the rules that live in your house.

[@karenjensen2345]

You can tell them they can’t live in your house though

[@diggernash1]

You can not let her back in to the house when she returns.

[@EmpressoftheLibrary]

The girl wants to have all the rights and privileges of adulthood without taking on any of the responsibilities. You're either an adult or you aren't. Cut her off.

[@ryanmc2175]

Stop paying for ANY of that adults expenses.

[@legony1]

My parents let my sister move out at 19, but my mother would drop off groceries for her and pay for gas in her car. 😐

[@ekp-g205]

Mine threatened suicide. What then?

[@JDAfrica]

The legal system is crazy! You can try not give them finances and payments, but they can simply go to the courts and file for maintenance costs against you. I have a situation at the moment where my 21 year old daughter is suing me for her living expensive, college fees, car, cell phone, food and medical expenses. The costs claim, is almost my full salary. The legal system says I must pay maintenance until she is self supporting, regardless of age

[@dt93]

@@ekp-g205 call their bluff.

[@lovethemflowers]

@ J D - You have got to be kidding. What crackpot state lets a 21 year old kid sue their parent? At 21? Because their not self supporting. You’re in California, right? Only place I can imagine.

[@OatPancake]

I’m glad Dave finally addressed the KZbin comments about him needing to only talk about money. Dave Ramsey can talk about whatever he wants in the Dave Ramsey show.

[@Aventerra01]

Yeah she’s needs to move out. I wouldn’t judge this daughter as a bad person. It’s just her time to grow up.

[@bres9977]

Yeah, she needs to fall and get scraped a little bit by reality.

[@asielmilian38]

And girls are more mature than boys.

[@xsgtxbigboy1655]

@@asielmilian38biggest lie I’ve ever heard when they mess with a guy every other week that’s reallll mature

[@faiora]

The parents are judging her as a bad person. So she certainly has enough of that as it is.

[@gardenofe12]

Daughter says she’s old enough to make her own decisions then if she doesn’t follow her parents rules then they need to STOP paying for all the expenses she just listed. Period end of discussion.

[@alienwarex51i3]

One has a moral responsibility to disobey unjust laws.

[@josephinenelan4204]

I knew immediately she had a boyfriend. Same thing happened with me, and I was given an ultimatum. So at 19 I moved out. Fortunately, my situation turned out well and I grew a lot from it. Kick her out. I intend on not tolerating "I'm an adult, but still pay my bills for me" the same way my parents didn't tolerate that from me.

[@josephinenelan4204]

Sir We Are About to Die IMHO I think it's because American society is desperately trying to undercut the innate desires of women to have their own families.

[@lizamarie3472]

Sir We Are About to Die oh many young males chase after young women as well.

[@usernameluis305]

@@josephinenelan4204 who in society is telling women not to have families? Can you tell me the statistics on single mothers on welfare?

[@naomiwilliams8850]

@Sir We Are About to Die which is why men in the comment section have said that they went through the same situation when they were younger. You don't like women, which is fine but at least use your critical thinking skills before making stupid comments.

[@naomiwilliams8850]

@Sir We Are About to Die of course because you commenting makes it true. Critical think...

[@nantinee9]

I lived at home with my parents as an adult for a few years and l clearly remember my Mom telling me “If you want to live under our roof you have to follow our rules”. My Mom passed away earlier this year from pancreatic cancer. Thank you Mom, for setting those boundaries with me.

[@celestevasquez376]

sorry for your loss

[@nantinee9]

Celeste Vasquez Thank you.

[@rangequeen]

I’m so sorry for your loss.

[@nantinee9]

@@rangequeenThank you.

[@rangequeen]

@@nantinee9 You’re welcome. God bless 🙏🏻

[@yamamancha]

45 secs in I know exactly what Dave is going to say. "How do you expect her to act like an adult when you treat her like a child?"

[@jacobfranke2103]

Dave, I’m 19, I have listened to you for a long time, and I appreciate both the financial and the life advice. I hope you know that you have fans who appreciate your biblical advice!

[@eckankar7756]

When I was 19 I knew every answer to all world problems. I was so impressed with my wisdom. I think it comes with the age. I grew, had some life experiences and learned I was the microcosm in the macrocosm. I smile now when I listen to young people.

[@makaylag2988]

Being 22 and still under my parents roof. I still follow rules because that's what I expect my children to do. I hang out with my friends and have fun. I pay my bills such as car insurance, school, phone bill and invest all my savings. No boyfriend yet and don't plan on it any time soon. All my friends got kick out of the house because of this situation now they are living on paycheck to paycheck just because they didn't want to follow their parents rules also a lot of relationship problems. STAY WITH YOUR PARENTS. SAVE MONEY, INVEST AND WATCH AND LEARN FROM YOUR FRIENDS WHO SAYS THE " IM AN ADULT AND I'll DO WHAT I WANT" Learn from their mistakes. Parents do what's best for their kids.

[@betruetoyourself7162]

Yes, even if you don’t agree all the time, you are stacking paychecks for your future and will feel very blessed later in life.

[@bekayezme]

When my son was 18 he said he didnt have to go by our rules and I told him to get out which he did. It was tough but 20 years later he is the best son. You gotta nib it in the bud early.

[@aquaticasmr184]

That happened and then my dad died I still hate him to this day

[@georgewagner7787]

Not forgiving him only hurts you

[@annehajdu8654]

*nip

[@lalalucy9648]

Yes! I was a super head strong young adult and pushed my parents boundaries. My parents held me accountable and today I am a responsible, functioning, educated adult.

[@RaymondDawson-v2w]

Aubrey is a self important KAREN who screwed up her entitled princess by coddling her like a baby and now complains her PRIVILEGED girl is an unmotivated lazy arrogant PARASITE,the one SHE created. This call is unnecessary,if AUBREY really does HER job she would do the right thing and be a PARENT!!!

[@radolfkalis4041]

"Adults" have their own households. Pay their own rent, insurance, food, school, EVERYTHING.

[@Cmimss]

My mom kicked my 31 yr old brother out for drinking and he was in detox and will be in rehab like next Monday. But if he declines that offer he has to do 5 yrs in Prison. Sometimes you can't help ppl who don't wanna be helped

[@blueowl8928]

Best wishes for you and your family. Sounds like a very tough situation. You are 100% right that you can’t force a person to be helped if they don’t want it, though it can be painful to watch.

[@garrettwatson2737]

That's sad and I am sorry to hear that, but that's not comparable at all to the situation in the video.

[@teenyverse7707]

she sounds like she's afraid of her daughter.

[@kaeleenm5207]

I think you meant "afraid for* her daughter."

[@michaelmarquez6133]

@@kaeleenm5207 no, ment what she said

[@adamdrouin2295]

Many parents are these days. They walk on eggshells around their kids to avoid making them upset. It's a symptom of the pussification of America

[@faiora]

To me it sounds like she’s afraid of losing control over her daughter.

[@michaelplunkett8059]

​@@faioraNO, she's afraid to discipline her fdaughter.

[@GlitchCityPromo]

You do have to be careful when kicking someone out of the house over a boy. They will only be pushed more into the bad situation. It's a good way to leave young people in a position where they are vulnerable to abuse.

[@JoeyNYSDnomad]

When they get to that stage of, " I'm an adult I can do what I want" there's no turning back. Let them learn a painful lesson.

[@alienwarex51i3]

@@JoeyNYSDnomad What's the painful lesson in this particular scenario?

[@jesusisc0mings00n3]

@@alienwarex51i3 probably single motherhood and working a low wage job to make ends meet. Heartache from the boyfriend having left her because the bond of marriage and responsibility is not holding him accountable. And of course, another broken child from a broken home. There are many assumptions here, but that is a very likely scenario as it happens to a high percentage of couples that simply shack up.

[@bres9977]

As an adult, she made the decision. You’re not going to make the rules in someone else’s house and still think you can do what you want to do. She wants to leave over a boy, let her leave.

[@TheUnfriendlyfire]

@@jesusisc0mings00n3 If the parents taught her about reliable birth control then that wouldn’t be a concern.

[@thomasnguyen6144]

A lot of 18 and 19 year olds want to be treated like adults, but not want adult responsibilities. It doesn’t work like that.

[@korsame]

I love the Anthony and Dave dynamic. They speak the truth. I’ve paid for all my bills since I got my first job at 16. The only expense I never had to pay for was the power/water bill and food at home. It was hard at first, but you learn quick that your only option is to WORK and SAVE.

[@chieppachat9381]

Wish I could have gotten a job at 16. I had spine surgery knocked me out for a year. Honestly when I first got a job I wanted to spend because I wanted a computer. So I bought one then pretty much saved. I have 9.4K

[@Picca65]

"Go be you!" That's really a loving thing to say.

[@Kwicdrawmcgraw]

I was in a similar situation and left because my dad was too controlling, but I had the sense to leave and go to the military. I'll never understand why people think you can do what you want in your parent's house. If you don't like it leave, but don't expect them to keep paying for you at the same time. "I'm grown and I don't have to follow your rules, but don't remove me from your insurance and cell phone plan because I make little kid money." Get outta here with that mess.

[@U3OTentertainment]

And also make the mistake to think that they can do whatever they want to do and dont gave to listen to anyone or rules. Like you said you went to the military, just like I did, thinking I'm gonna go because I'm tired of my parents telling me this and that but guess what the army did too but worse! So no matter who you are whatever you go and whatever you do you have to listen to someone or else. Whether parents or the military or a job or the police or the government so I dont get the prideful attitude that we think we can DO WHATEVER WE WANT just because we now past 18 years old. Lol.

[@pyewacketpeggy8329]

Your dad was too controlling so you enlisted ? OK 👍.

[@lauraperdue1307]

Yup, lol. I never said that to my parents as long as they were paying my bills. I also was never gonna go to a hotel with my boyfriend while on their money knowing what their answer would be.

[@VZBudgetBuildz]

Yep I learned quick myself when I moved out at like 17, I didn’t have a phone or car when I left and luckily a buddy took me in but you can only couch bounce for so ling

[@bindingcurve]

@@pyewacketpeggy8329 The military is the way it is because it needs to be. The hypocrisy of parents pushing a moral code on their kids that a lot of time they did not follow is a lot harder to take.

[@RaleighLink]

Best thing my mom did was kick me out at 18, I learned so much and became a better person... kick her out, she'll be fine!

[@jamescadzow9545]

Strong Parents raise Strong Children who Evolve into Strong Adults.. Weak Parents raise Weak Children who turn out hating the world and all of it's surroundings..

[@anneshirley9560]

Most of the time, but not always. My mom and dad had four kids, some of us listened and live good lives, some of us didn’t, and are miserable. At the end of the day, we all choose our own path.

[@jamescadzow9545]

@@anneshirley9560 So true, some are destined to never learn by the negative thoughts in their mind and the choices that they make.

[@andrewmorris112]

I’ve always said I’m not just raising kids. I’m raising my children to become adults. I may be tough, but they listen and one day will see I made my decisions based off of what was best for them at the time and in the long run.

[@ingolfura.4327]

Read up on nature vs nurture in developmental psychology, these things are fiercely debated but current science consensus is very interesting. I'm humbly certain that your theory is not spot on.

[@cheesebear3353]

When I started dating, the rule was the boy had to meet one of my parents. They were terrified of my 6’6 but it helped keep stupid away. Thank you, Dad for creating a moral foundation.

[@lipglossed]

Going from "child/teen" to "responsible young adult" can be a hard transition... parents obviously love her and want to help her, but she is becoming an adult now and will be making adult personal decisions. One piece of advice from my own experiences is to not try to use money as complete control (even out of love). Sit down with her and tell her you're having a tough time with her becoming an adult but since she is then it's time to figure out a new plan. That may involve her moving out or just taking over all of her finances (cell phone, car expenses, personal spending money, all eating out/entertainment money, books, etc). I'm guessing all her job money is going towards fun and clothes and some gas right now... it also gives her money and time to spend with the boyfriend that she wouldn't have in the real world.

[@djlewis3228]

My goodness, it sounds like the situation with my 19 yr old daughter. I had to ask her to leave, because she didn't want to follow the rules. It is very hard as a mother to make the decision, but it had to be done.

[@s246088]

Wow! This is the definition of a failed parent. If after 19 years of raising somebody teaching them from right and wrong in the values of life you have to ask them to leave is pretty telling 😂

[@BlueDauntless]

@@s246088She’s teaching them her boundaries, which the child already knew. And now mom is enforcing those boundaries. They’re pointless without follow through.

[@astridferrera8742]

One of the best things I heard regarding a similar issue with something that dr. Laura said; which was "you cannot be a dependent child and an independent adult while living under my roof." If you want adult Independence then you have to go out and be an adult.

[@Jay-om8gr]

This woman is too soft on her daughter. No way will she heed their advice

[@crazy_mind-ox8if]

I'm only 2 minutes in but it seems pretty obvious... she is an adult, she can go and do whatever she wants, but if she has money to go out of state and stay in a hotel, then she has money to pay her own bills. Why do the parents find this complicated.

[@crzyruskie86]

Mom just wasn't ready to let go. She sounds sweet.

[@cutehumor]

I already told my little kids. This is daddy and mommy's house. It's important to stress to kids that when they are 18, they are adult WHEN they move out of the house and support themselves financially. The law expects kids to be adults at 18 after high school.

[@NomastiAfricanWarlord]

@Sir We Are About to Die The age is 18 both for the draft and for voting purposes. Not like that matters much anyways, seeing as 18-22 years old are one of the demographics that vote the least.

[@alligator985]

Why have kids if they’re not welcome in “your house”?

[@anactualguy8257]

@Sir We Are About to Die Do you have a kid? For purely biological reasons? Yet?

[@alligator985]

Sir We Are About to Die Cavemen didn’t have condoms, you do. You’re an irresponsible person.

[@beans2605]

She’s 19 w/ a boyfriend and a car... They’re going to hook up regardless.

[@asielmilian38]

She can do what she wants. If she has a boyfriend and car she can pay for own expense.

[@marciabinninger2840]

Yeah do what you want in your own place but not under my roof. My kids know better. My 29 year old has her own place she can do what she wants when she wants. When she lived with me she knew better. My 21 year old is focused on nursing school thank goodness. I’m grateful they have good heads on their shoulders.

[@aquaticasmr184]

@@marciabinninger2840 I don't understand if you go to work and you pay for what is yours Take care of yourself you can do what you please by going on a trip.

[@kingboji958]

Hey guys I am 16 years old, Can you guys tell me if this is a good idea. What if I borrow a loan of 1 million dollars from the bank. 4% interest rate for 30 year. So i will be paying around $5000 every month back. I use that 1 million dollar and buy 10 houses for $100,000. I rent it out for $1000 a month. So every month i will get $10,000-$5000= $5000. So my profit will be $5000 every month passively without doing anything. Is this a good idea?

[@aquaticasmr184]

@@kingboji958 no bank is just gonna give you the money.

[@AvalonMisty]

I was 19 Dad said as long as you live in my house..you obey my rules. I didn't agree with the rules and moved out on my own. That was 44 years ago. Worked out real well. Debt -free lifestyle. Growing old is mandatory...growing up is optional.

[@1.5Koreans0.5American]

Lots of non financial calls these days on Ramsey’s show

[@lightoftheworld6578]

9:10

[@Rclsllh]

It’s all related to money. Also, there’s more to life and things that indirectly impact money.

[@runescaperocks48]

Well if you actually listened to the podcast or the actual radio you'll know that he literally says in the intro: a show about your life and your money.

[@justinaacorn5721]

I think he is the daddy that some did not have! level headed non political advice.

[@KVW110]

He even alluded to that in this segment too! It's his show! He can talk about underwater basket weaving for an hour if he wants to!

[@armyretguy7365]

Live in anyone else’s house, especially your parents, then respect their rules. Don’t not like it? Get out.

[@RedShirtMenace808]

doesn’t matter if it’s their house an adult should be able to have freedom in there own house

[@martapareta1939]

@@RedShirtMenace808 freedom has a cost! So, pay your own freedom costs!

[@aquaticasmr184]

this happened to me then you know what happened I paid my own freedom I got my own place and never spoke to them again

[@RedShirtMenace808]

@9INE PLANETS this is the exact situation i’m in except for i’m stuck at home and not talking to my abusive mother

[@RedShirtMenace808]

@9INE PLANETS funds aren’t enough right now but i’m soon to be able to move out honestly

[@jasontorres3112]

Remember those times when parents actually actually acted like like parents without calling a financial show.

[@bindingcurve]

@IvyOracle more like the current system is messed up. Student loans have made collage stupid expensive and expected. Medical, while better, has increased in price to crazy levels.

[@jakeraland5806]

Right i still got some whopping at 20 😂

[@bindingcurve]

@@jakeraland5806 Why where you home at 20?

[@jakeraland5806]

bindingcurve 🤦🏾‍♀️ yes and i came in after curfew

[@bindingcurve]

@Onion Head School would not be crazy expensive if it was not for those loans. I saw it starting up in the 90s. Now it's just silly. But with all of the online schooling we are going to see a reset.

[@BirgettaJohnson_LetsTalkAJR]

Why is this so lopsided and extreme? Adult children should be paying the majority of their expenses and the parents should be there as support, guidance, and things like shelter and health insurance as applicable. But also to have an adult relationship with your adult children, you cannot patrol your children’s relationships. If you want to say a partner isn’t allowed at the house over night then your house your rules, but your adult child’s decisions outside your property is not your business.

[@BadMannerKorea]

It's lopsided because parents don't want to see their children grow up to be different than them, that's why. You'd think after 19 years these parents would realize they'd be having the birds and bees talk and proper usage of protection, and to encourage healthy relationships and freedom..

[@BadMannerKorea]

@@Chris-sc5jg Not sure what that has to do with treating your adult child as an adult and not wanting to kick them out over a three day weekend. If you can’t trust your 19 year old kid to go on a vacation, or won’t let them, then you’ve probably failed as a parent, at least on some level.

[@BirgettaJohnson_LetsTalkAJR]

@@Chris-sc5jg Incredibly intellectual critical analysis! Thank you for contributing to this discussion.

[@crzyruskie86]

She can take a vacation but not pay for her car, food, cell phone, rent etc. See how that works? That mom was afraid to let go which is why they didn't want her dating. The daughter is an adult though and its time for her to go. The daughter got that part right. She's an adult so she needs to leave and live her life in her own house and pay her own expenses. It's not mean, its a natural thing.

[@sydnindys]

The daughter is in school/college, she says it in the beginning. Her parents are paying many of her bills because they want her to stay focused and succeed in college. She's probably a freshman/softmore. If the daughter has decided she's an adult and shouldn't need to respect her parents rules. Then by being an "adult" she no longer needs to be dependent on her parents. She can figure out how to pay for college and her bills on her own. If she was just working and paying her parents rent or something, then sure she could argue that she's an independent adult. But she's expecting to do what she wants and have her parents foot the bill regardless.

[@oscarmedina7368]

A strong dad in the family is greater than any financial help I could’ve ever had in my life. In our families life actually.

[@GoldenPants64]

Awesome episode. I’m 29 and this is some great advice for the younger kids. Been listening to you for a few years now and your advice helps shape my life for sure. Thanks for all the good work you guys do, it really makes a difference

[@r-e_mii]

Shes 19. The real question is do you trust her? If so it shouldnt have been a problem. Yes there should be rules but sit her down & have a talk. Why should a 19yr old be forced out? Back in the day parents wanted their children regardless of age to be at home until marriage. In todays world its basically impossible for any 19 yr old to live on their own. Its so expensive in many states. My perspective is that of being on my own by 15.

[@anactualguy8257]

The main issue being everybody could be kicked out just fine if they weren't going to be so financially destitute because of expenses.

[@alligator985]

Only comment that makes sense!

[@garrettwatson2737]

@NurturingTalents lol that's actually false, it just happened less openly. Also note teen pregnancy and related issues are actually *down* compared to the past.

[@aquaticasmr184]

@NurturingTalents OK Boomer that's what you thought happened

[@rangequeen]

Seems like this one comes down to a religious issue. They don’t want her spending the night in a hotel with this guy.

[@AhsokaJackson]

You can't have it both ways. "I'm an adult, so I can do what I want!" If that's the case, then you need to either get your own place or start paying rent. And guess what? Even adult tenants still have rules and stipulations they must follow to live in a piece of property that doesn't belong to them. Just as it wouldn't be fair for them to demand rent or have her move out and buy her own place but then still treat her as a minor child, it's unfair for her to expect to be taken care of financially and otherwise like a child, but then want to pull out the "adult" card so she doesn't have to follow rules.

[@bindingcurve]

@@MicheleNichols2 Yes because it really sucks if you can't control a kid who takes on adult responsibilities. Some parents just want to put their heads into the sand.

[@sandyseibelhager7131]

Actually, I did charge rent AND they still had to follow the rules. My children paid ALL of their car expenses and phone expenses. They were given one year after graduation to live rent free unless they were in college full time. If not in school full time they were charged rent. That rent went up each year. I wanted to encourage them to act like adults and move out. I did have to kick one out because he was drinking and driving and there is no drinking at my house.

[@veronica112234]

Sandy Seibel Hager Great Job! I am 22 living in NYC with my mom and brother. We moved here 3yrs ago so obviously we don’t have a home of our own so we rent. The rent and utilities are split evenly between us three.. ideally. Unfortunately my brother has a drinking problem and financial problems where he can’t seem to keep money in his pocket. Well for this to happen for the 3rd time where he is jobless with no money, I said to my mother I will not be going half on his portion of the bills. It is not fair for him to take from my future, nor her future. So since it’s been like this since June, I sat on my word for the most part. I ended up paying the entire electricity bill and giving my mom some money to help out. I am an undergrad Bio major and plan to go to PA school. Which is not cheap! My emergency fund money can’t go down the drain for his irresponsibility and failure to be a man.

[@davidsensing2664]

My kid is free to make her own decisions after she turns 18. My financial support will only go to decisions I think are good. My love is forever.

[@Eccentric-YURR]

I left my mom's place when I was 17 and haven't been back since. I am 19 now and am doing great!

[@Aces135]

Nah I moved out at 18 while I was In high school I never moved back. I’m a nurse now and I’m glad I never came back me and my parents don’t have the best relationship.

[@Virgoindigo]

If you think they are good parents and you love them find a way to fix that. Life is too short.

[@ThaRedPitbull]

You moved out of their house and moved in with who?

[@saptab1344]

@@Virgoindigo she dont think theyre good parents. Its not the childs responsibilty to fix the relationship if the parents ruined it.

[@Virgoindigo]

@@saptab1344 I understand that but regret is the worst thing to live with in life so if its worth fixing and she dont mind being the bigger person why not.

[@gottesma]

I don't understand 90% of the premise of this answer. Like, I get that a kid who isn't self-sufficient can't pull the "I'm an adult; I'll do what I want" card, but the rest of this makes no sense to me. Why is it "stupid" to go on a trip out of state with a boyfriend? Why do you think the daughter will thank mom? When I was the daughter's age, I went on a long international trip with my then-girlfriend (our parents did not object). We'd been dating about the same amount of time. We got to experience several different cultures and visit iconic cultural sites. We grew extremely close and while we were too young to commit to each other for life back then, I strongly suspected we would. We got married in our 20s and had kids in our 30s and once Corona is gone, we'll go back to dragging our kids around the world with us. It breaks my heart to imagine what might have happened had our parents interfered.

[@drunkrussianisgood]

That's what religion does to people. Fries their brains.

[@alienwarex51i3]

@@drunkrussianisgood Couldn't tell you what the answer is here. Neither can any of the other seemingly braindead commenters, apparently. There is absolutely nothing wrong with taking a one-day trip with a boyfriend/girlfriend as an adult. To kick out your child because of such a little thing is terrible.

[@eyob7394]

Everyone got different values so it’s not necessarily about the example but more about the parents turning on what they believe and letting their kid walk all over them cuz “they’re adults”. Instead, if the kid wants to do something outside of their values and don’t have respect for their parents opinions they got be independent. They can’t get it both ways lol

[@ddfamf88]

drunkrussianisgood - made my life much better.

[@yeseniagonzalez6831]

It is wrong because they made a choice of a code of morality that you may not agree but they have a right to it. I happen to agree with this code because as a teenager I saw to many friends have their future derailed by teen pregnancy.

[@rbraxton00]

Adults pay their own way. Apartment, food, etc...

[@Mistyfgdf]

Guess imma be a kid till 25 then Plan to piggie back ride and invest most of my paychecks to build wealth

[@patyoung5330]

Absolutely! Step one-get a job..Step two-get a place to live. Nuff said.

[@aquaticasmr184]

If you pay your bills and rent theres no issue to me

[@juliedurby8333]

I'm 24 and still living at home. I told my dad that if he has adult children living at home, then we need to act more like adults than children (responsibility wise, not bad decision wise).

[@Michelle.05]

"I'm an adult" means you're capable of taking care of yourself completely! It's called tough love!

[@PhilipMarcYT]

It's sad that parents pay for the expenses of their adult children. Kind of embarrassing, really.

[@MySeekingtruth]

Getting kicked out and having to survive was the best thing that happened to me when I was young and on a bad path.

[@riri12345678910]

I mean. Everyone I know ran away from their home. So like. Just run. Run to college. Run to friends. Get outta those homes. Spread your wings. If you're not conservative like your parents, get outta your home and just express yourself. I agree with them. Don't live with your parents and let them pay your bills. Get out from their thumb and just live your life. It'll make your relationship with them so much better. My relationship with my parents is exponentially better now that they don't control any part of my life. We get along better. It can work out. I'm living with the love of my life. I'm still in college. We're gonna get married after I graduate. Everything is going well for me. Everything went well for my boyfriend too, same thing. He got out and he was able to be himself. Now we're together and we're working towards be true to ourselves. There's an unimaginable high everyday at just being able to go home and be your true self 100% of the time. There's no worrying about anyone finding anything. No pressure to keep things clean all the time. No one yelling at you to do your homework or give you looks when you wear a cute outfit. It's just you. And it's overwhelming and hard at first, but you can do it. So get outta there!

[@a44qb23]

I only lived in my car for a week before I apologized to be allowed back in my parents house....six months is a loooooong time

[@XFizzlepop-Berrytwist]

I dont agree with kicking kids out at 18-19, fresh out of high school. However, that is if they are indeed following your rules. I do agree if they want to act adult, and disrespect you, kick them out.

[@dw1419]

@@saulgoodman2018 Except sharing a hotel room with the boyfriend and all that implies is against the family's standards/values.

[@ugladden]

Im so glad my parents made me get a job and pay 100% of my responsibilities at 18yrs old.

[@justme87999]

Honestly if my parents were threatening me financially for making my own life decisions, then I would know it's time to move on with life.

[@BlueDauntless]

It’s called boundaries.

[@KS-kr4ok]

why are parents so weak? I had a conversation with my kids a month before their 18th birthdays. I told them the first time they tell me they are an adult, will be the day I let them be an adult. That means, no more money from me ever. To stay in my house they will get a free college education and hopefully a degree with no student loan debt. To tell me they are an adult will mean, they can pay all their own bills as adults should. The rules for my house were, no smoking, no drugs, no shacking up, no tattoos, they could ask for a friend to spend the night, that person would stay in the guest room on another floor of the house. One of my kids told me to kiss off, the other graduated from college in 4 years and went to work and started a stress free life because he has NO student debt. The other child who was smarter than everybody, struggled for many years because she wanted to shack up with a loser.

[@KS-kr4ok]

@Sir We Are About to Die I hate that you are correct. We have an adulterous president. kids in cages, and parents who think it is OK for their kids to shack up. I am not religious because that is corrupt but I feel marriage is about commitment and true respect. I am the only person in my group of friends who has told their kids you better not shack up. My friends think it is a good idea to try it out first. Yuk is an understatement.

[@KS-kr4ok]

@Sir We Are About to Die wow, no. I wish young people would just treat themselves with respect and dignity.

[@KS-kr4ok]

@Sir We Are About to Die I hope your version of discipline does not include assault and battery. America is about choices and no fear. I gave my kids choices. One choose college with my rules and the other did not. We know who is having a better life. I told them many times, bad choices will equal a sad life.

[@aquaticasmr184]

Well i hope your "loser" hates you forever 😂 happend to me and i hate them forever

[@KS-kr4ok]

@@aquaticasmr184 what happened to you? You decided not to be sensible and follow sane rules to build a stable future? How are your bad decisions anybody else's fault. Sorry you are suffering but stupid is not an accident, it is a choice. I hope it is not too late for you to make a sensible life for yourself.

[@gamesarelife0431]

I’m 20 now and when I was 18 I decided I wasn’t going to follow the house rules so I kept my head down until I moved out 2 months after my 18th now we have a great relationship

[@JeremyDok77]

I love this. I wasn't perfect. I was not one for authority when I was young at 15. I was making bad decisions. However, my parents told me if I didn't want to follow the rules under their roof then I could leave. Well, I grew up quick after leaving. I came back 2 different times at 17 and also at 21. Each time for about 3 months each time. I'm 40 now. I LOVE my parents for it. I'm good now. Love you, Mom & Dad!!

[@angelaresener4235]

Totally went through this with our 18.5 year old. Kid actually told people kicked her out because we said "you can live here as long as you want, but there are certain things you can't do in our home." Very painful to deal with.

[@ronijr4918]

I'm 21 and still live with my parents HOWEVER IT'S NOT MY HOUSE SO I STILL FOLLOW THE HOUSE RULES.

[@sonokoroxs]

She probably should get into the dorms or something so she can have a little more freedom. My bf (now husband) took me on bday trips and nothing happened at the hotel since I was saving myself. Lots of 19 years old get this freedom without being kicked out or abandoned financially. It is what it is though. This is more of a personal problem than a financial one though.

[@Ivana9910]

Yes. I agree. My family would not even let me travel with female friends.

[@Thelegendl23]

Let's face facts, your story is 1 out of 10 million. You put two teens in a hotel room and you really believe nothing will happen? You're either a troll or extremely ignorant, don't reproduce please.

[@smn5672]

@@Thelegendl23 theres nothing they could do at the hotel that they cant already do in their home town/city. She could lie and say shes going to her friends for the day and see the boyfriend. They have cars etc.

[@traceswann7054]

@@smn5672 That's what I was thinking. Also if she is forced to move out, the first place she is gonna go is straight to her boyfriend.

[@Thelegendl23]

@@smn5672 no, wrong. And if you have that thinking I pray you do not have a daughter, or you will end up a grandparent. Enjoy your bad parenting skills.

[@florsaldana2120]

I AM SO GRATEFUL MY PARENTS TAUGHT ME YOU WANT IT, YOU WORK FOR IT! 🙏🙏

[@lisaf5035]

Thank you for this. I am dealing with this as well. I don’t have a spouse to back me and it’s tough. This talk is exactly what I needed to hear.

[@janetbradford8312]

My 19year old kept breaking her 1am curfew with no regards she had go

[@PhilipMarcYT]

My parents have their grandkids around very often and very often the kids are disrespectful to them. And to me, they actually stole from me so I rather not see them anymore and plus, they can be very hostile. "Kids" of the age 15-16. Sometimes people have to go through a rough time to make them wake up and finally say no.

[@christianc7420]

Heres my perspective as a 24 year old. Shes a fully grown 19 year old adult. If youre going to financially support your child, who is a grown adult, you should not use that support as a weapon to control them. That is extremely toxic and narcissistic behavior that will make your child resent you. Your job as a parent is to guide your kids into becoming a good person, not to force them into being one. Its sad that all of these boomers still have this toxic and controlling mindset.

[@DiscoFang]

As you say, she's an adult, but she's anything but "fully" grown. The brain doesn't fully develop the ability to reason, rationally, until the mid 20's. They wouldn't be forcing anything - it's the daughter's choice - but a 19yo doesn't have the awareness or maturity to make that choice. What do you suggest as a solution?

[@freekbassa]

As someone the same age I agree 100%. I have similar parents who took the control route and used my brother and I’s financial dependence as a weapon. I took it as motivation to finish school early and get out. However, my brother was never able to get on track until recently and will now be living under their roof through his early 30’s. It’s possible to let kids learn from their own mistakes while not having to cut them off financially.

[@intuitive_duck]

Anthony's stove story sounds just like my niece with my father in law. She kept trying to touch the flame of a candle & one day he let her. She didn't even cry, amazingly, but she learned instantly! Never did it again!

[@samuelford5076]

I’m 19 and watching this on KZbin and I don’t feel attacked. I actually enjoyed this because that’s how my parents raised me

[@KC-dr3cg]

A.O. grew up under a terrible parent and doesn't even seem to be aware of it. Sad.

[@a.jpurple6515]

I’m 22, living in Australia. I still live with my parents as I continue uni. I know that while I do, I follow her rules, I have to tell her if I’m staying out late, I have a job and I pay for everything myself other than food. I get cooked warm meals and very very very small rent in return.

[@a.jpurple6515]

@Sir We Are About to Die oh sorry, i live with my mum and dad, but its my mum who rules the house hahah

[@a.jpurple6515]

@Sir We Are About to Die i should mention that Im also asian where living with parents is fairly normal anyways

[@ChosenDeeDee]

I would have loved Dave to be my dad. Listening to him has helped me so much🙏🏾

[@frankm2385]

The daughter is doomed. Her mother will always be her enabler just like most (Not all) mothers are. The fact that she's calling into a talk show instead of handling business tells me she's weak.

[@sheralync5854]

I wonder if rather than "my house, my rules", maybe wording along the line of: These are our household rules. It sounds like you'd like to have a different set of rules you want to live by. This means you are taking steps to be an independent adult and want to establish your own household rules. Let us help you set up your new household" would cause a conversation rather than fight?

[@pic376]

The old school way of doing things still works. Tough love! You don't want to play by my rules, the streets do not REJECT anyone that lands there.

[@retiredmanager510]

At age 17 in high school, my parents offered to assist me buying a truck, and I’d make all of the payments. At age 18 I started paying my auto loan, insurance and rent. At age 19, I moved out, paid my own medical, Auto loan, auto insurance, rent, utilities and took 15 units in college. My parents assisted with books and tuition for community college.

[@sockm7192]

Dave Ramsey is right on this one bad parenting is the cause of most problems in society. That includes picking a life partner and child up bringing and financial problems.

[@evalina98000]

Yup, my dad always said if you live in my house you live by my rules. And if we lived at home we had to be going to school &/or working. And if we moved out and found out what it was like paying da bills we could move back once. But it wasn't going to be a revolving door and da 2nd time we moved out we were on our own. 👍

[@oneluv79]

Us moms get blinded with too much love and just too much emotions towards our kids, no matter the age. My son left at 18 because he wouldn't listen to house rules. My husband actually kicked him out which is his stepdad, everyone in the family was so upset with me and said I picked a man over my own son. I felt I had to back up my husband because my son was reckless and didnt respect us.

[@alwayslernin4400]

One love, you did what was right for your son. You should ask those people if you were a single mom would it have been ok? This is why in our mixed marriage, we each deal with our own child. You probably should have done the kicking out yourself. They always play that card on you if you dont.

[@cswann8]

Pro tip: Adults don't have to tell their parents they're adults. If you do, you're just showing that you're still a child.

[@WoodyJ98]

No there are definitely helicopter parents that continue to micromanage after their kid has moved out.

[@sparks6177]

I kind of have the same problem but in reverse. I’m 18 and am wanting to work with my dad at his company (contracting plumbing company), my mother doesn’t want me to really leave and start a career until I’m in my 20s and I think it’s a bad idea to wait so long, it’s 4 years of trade school and apprenticeship with the possibility of good pay at worst and a chance to grow a thriving business at best. My parents have been separated for 9 years but are on decent terms she’s just worried I’ll make the same mistake she did and grow up faster then i have to. I also don’t feel comfortable completely disregarding her rules and losing my mom in the process but she pretty much shut me down every time I try to discuss it

[@averybell4273]

All over going on a trip as adults? A trip that ruins everything?

[@alienwarex51i3]

Yeah, the parents are insane. Dave is also.

[@danandalihilton6076]

Right!!!???

[@danielvasquez3758]

She probably thought she was going to get kidnapped or something or sold off into some trafficking/experience a traumatic event.

[@alienwarex51i3]

@@danielvasquez3758 How much do you want to bet she let her daughter walk to school or go out with friends? Plus she's been dating the guy for almost a year...

[@getinthespace7715]

If an adult child is too adult to follow the rules of your house stop paying for everything abruptly. Don't let her live under your roof.

[@nephetula]

Young trees can be formed into almost any shape. But once they're grown sufficiently, it's impossible to change their shape. In like manner, discipline and responsibility must be taught from early childhood. You can't suddenly "catch up" once they're in their teens.

[@eileeneclark9011]

11/29/20.... I am retired but raised in the South.... Middle of 3 girls....parents had HOUSE RULES so we didn't date until 16....we double dated.... parents met ALL dates every time we went out....we had curfew....we had chores to do BEFORE we went out....we kept our rooms neat/our clothes clean/helped youngest sister with her homework & chores. JUST SAYIN'.....

[@batirtzeurkiaga102]

I'm sooooooo happy that your parents are doing well and can see the fruits of their labor, Anthony!!!!! Same with mine. There's nothing quite like it. Thanks, gentlemen!!!!!🙋🏽‍♀️🙋🏽‍♀️🙋🏽‍♀️🙋🏽‍♀️🙋🏽‍♀️🙋🏽‍♀️🙋🏽‍♀️🙋🏽‍♀️🙋🏽‍♀️

[@vchow6749]

This parent wants to be more of a friend than a parent

[@Duderino5972]

they forgot one thing, she wants to take a trip, away from "thier roof" so if she isnt there it doesn't apply. idk why she even told them.

[@JJJaymes]

My thought exactly. I understand the “my house, my rules” while in the house. But I would not expect that to extend to going on a trip.

[@dw1419]

How does she have the money to go on the trip? Because they are subsidizing a large portion of her lifestyle by letting her life rent-free under their roof, along with paying her health insurance and her phone bill.

[@georgewagner7787]

Why pay her phone if she has a job?

[@pigpjs]

I am actually impressed that she was comfortable enough with you to be open and honest about her plans. I guarantee you she knew your opinions on it but still loved and respected you enough to be honest. Yes her response about being an adult wasn't mature but she is 19. Most of us said and did things at 19 that we cringe at now. Please meet her halfway. You can still ween her off financially but the way you do so is going to send a lot of messages to her about your love and respect for her. Kindness now will pay dividends when she is older and wiser.

[@romomacias9830]

I moved out Exactly 1 Month after I turned 18. I have now been living by myself for 3 Months and I have learned how to discipline myself. I am renting a room in a house and am not going to school, Instead I am working and learning about Different business opportunities. I have taken interest in starting an Amazon Business and am looking to buy an Amazon Course

[@aquaticasmr184]

I'm in a similar boat as you Amazon isn't gonna change your life everyone on Amazon is making 10 cents per transaction it's all about volume And if you're not making the lowest profits no one's going to buy from you cause there's 10 other people trying to sell it for less than you

[@aquaticasmr184]

You're gonna waste your money on a course

[@romomacias9830]

@@aquaticasmr184 You're not going to make it far in life with that mindset. There are thousands of products to choose from, You just need to find 1 Winning product with high demand and a gap in the market for that specific product. Watch Bob Proctor, He changed my way of thinking. Before I would give up easily but Now I choose to remove negative thoughts and force myself to think on ways I can achieve my goals rather than telling myself I can't do it.

[@aquaticasmr184]

@@romomacias9830 i have a product that i did 10x mark up 1 dollar to 10 dollars after fees and shipping 9 I didnt take any courses

[@maryfields1382]

Congratulate her on reaching adulthood. Take her to the recycling center for a whole lot of boxes, then give her a couple rolls of packing tape, and a week to vacate.

[@Poopticklingbandit]

What's the issue with her going on a vacation with her 9 month boyfriend out of state? If the parents are worried if she's going to have sex with her boyfriend or go on drinking binges then that's just bad motivation to get her to do that and personal issues with her family that needs to be addressed. Should've had that talk with their kids when she was 14 or 16. They don't sound like bad parents but definitely misguided and the people who "are glad their parents did the same to them" is just a bunch of cope. Rules are rules but some rules are meant to be broken because they're based off nothing of value.

[@AR-ic5fs]

This is such a valuable video. It is so incredibly draining to go through as the parent-

[@willieboy3011]

Sleeping with her boyfriend at 19 is not "stupidity"; that is her choice. However, the parents do need to decide if this is such a big deal as to actually kick their own adult daughter out of the house.

[@raleigh2747]

It doesn’t really matter what she is doing that they disagree with. The fact that she said, “i’m an adult now, and can do what i want” is the reason she has got to go. She is gunna be an adult and make adult decisions? Good, then go out into the world and be an adult.

[@clari5683]

I don't agree with you, but that's a great point!

[@alienwarex51i3]

@@raleigh2747 You're going to kick her out because she has a boyfriend? How will that impact the relationship with your daughter? What if they end up getting married, and don't invite you to the wedding? Is it worth the years of resentment?

[@raleigh2747]

@@alienwarex51i3 "You're going to kick her out because she has a boyfriend?" No, that's not what i said.

[@alienwarex51i3]

@@raleigh2747 It's what Dave said. He and the other guy are encouraging the idea of kicking her out if she insists on going to spend a night with her boyfriend of 9 months. I completely agree with the principle here; if the daughter wants to do her own thing (against her parents' wishes) then she should expect to take on the responsibilities that come with being adult. However, I think it's ridiculous that something so trivial would be the tipping point for the parents.

[@dondieu3154]

Words of wisdom from a good friend of mine: "I pays the cost to be the boss! If you don't like it, it's time to move on."

[@Thelegendl23]

Looool what's 19 have to do with it, she needs to move out immediately. My rules, my house.

[@kindnessandgracestaysmilin5990]

It had to do with it cause she’s at the legal age to move out.

[@Thelegendl23]

@@kindnessandgracestaysmilin5990 no it had to do with it because the mother was trying to condone her behavior because of her age, grow up and realize the facts. The person could be from 16 to 40 and it still be the sammmeeeee scenario. Please hop off my post ;)

[@kindnessandgracestaysmilin5990]

@Thelegendl23 gorl hUh? Obvi I agreed with what you said, my point was she can’t kick out her kid if they’re under the legal age. Also I think 16 is way too young, considering they’re still in school, and I think anywhere older than like 20 is way too old. And FoRtY....that’s just insane. Plus you have to be careful with just kicking out your kids. Like I would make sure they have a steady job and some sort of plan, they’re still your kids just cause they are older. So that’s my opinionnnnnn (;

[@Thelegendl23]

@@kindnessandgracestaysmilin5990 a 16 year old can be kicked out of the house... what you believe and what can happen factually are very different things. I'm sorry I misunderstood what you said as disagreeing, fact is the child could be any age above 16 and the facts remain. Anyone left saying "you're stuck with me until I'm 18" is just plain confused. My rules or you join the military at 16 and enlist at 18. Enjoy.

[@anactualguy8257]

@@Thelegendl23 do you have a kid?

[@freemind9721]

The daughter isn’t the problem. It’s the parents.

[@burritobrosvideos8060]

@b that's why they are kicking her out lol

[@burritobrosvideos8060]

@b no. Its because she isn't following there rules and they own the house. They won't support her poor decisions

[@BlueDauntless]

The parents have boundaries. The daughter going against them is the problem.