Our Religious Experience Trigger Warning: Christianity

[@kellyschroeder7437]

Yup fear fear fear 😪💔😪💔. So hard to find safety

[@starsinfinity1987]

I have a similar history and it's crazy that once a person is safe that this is the result. Your videos are so helpful 😁 think you!

[@raayna6630]

We were shunned when we shared that we have DID. Dropped like a hot rock by those that said they would walk beside me.

[@GianuSystem]

That's very much the norm from the mainstream faiths. It's sad that the place many people go for comfort is such a dangerous place for the OSDD/DID community. I think it just highlights how toxic it is in most of its expression, but still, I'm so sorry that happened to you. *hugs*

[@kellyschroeder7437]

💔😪💔😪💔😪

[@kellyschroeder7437]

Wow, a fav sentence for me and experience “dropped like a hot rock” 👊

[@randiwatches]

Thank you so much for sharing your story and your feelings about this heavy topic. I'm so glad you were able to deconstruct the beliefs that were imposed on you when you were growing up. I have also been able to reconstruct my relationship with Jesus in a healthier and more love based and less fear based way. Healing from my hardships and finding spirituality again happened to work in tandem for me and only then were my parts able to feel comfortable enough to make themselves known to me. 💜 Happy holidays and I hope you have a wonderful week!

[@autiejedi5857]

14 years of catholic school and an abusive patriarchal family of origin beat that idea into our system very effectively as well. Reframing faith for us helped us too. Some of us are pagan now and only our little is xtian. Religion can be so harmful sometimes. 😥

[@GianuSystem]

It really can. Sounds like we have some similar history. I think meeting my alters really helped me to see just how harmful it had been as some had very specific religious trauma. I was so hesitant about making this video but coming to a healthy space in our beliefs has been a huge part of our journey. And one that I felt needed a disclaimer.

[@autiejedi5857]

@@GianuSystem We do seem to have a lot in common. Not too many systems my age - 51. AND being newly discovered. This is a tough topic that deserves discussion.

[@GianuSystem]

@@autiejedi5857 Thanks.

[@aliprov31gar]

Just found your channel yesterday. Great videos. Thank you for sharing your story.

[@kelw9071]

ty for making this video. it's so wild whenever i find a fellow ex-fundie in the wild because it's super validating. if i try to explain how damaging and crazy making that shit was to a non-fundie they're inevitably like "not all xtians" and "i went to church once and it's not that bad, idk why you're so butthurt about it". (side note, were you homeschooled too?[if you feel like answering, i mean. totally understand if not lol.]) super interesting that the 'hellfire forever' ideology is new. //personal nonsense rambling// that garbage deffo gave me nightmares as a little kid. Like, to the point where i went and "accepted jesus" again because i was sure i hadn't done it right the first time (because the first time i was...4?....and clearly i was so much more mature and reasonable at 5? 7? still single digits l o l) and i was so afraid that the rapture would happen and my parents would be taken away from me up to heaven and i'd be left here on earth and then damned forever. You know. Just normal little kid worries. //end personal nonsense rambling// i think it's cool you stayed xtian and found a way to take the good parts and leave the bad. that's awesome. for me, i'm not at all xtian these days, but i definitely also still believe there's a gd and that gd is not a judgemental authoritarian like i thought growing up. it's definitely been a wild decade-ish getting to this point. tl;dr, thank you. and i hope y'all are staying safe out there.

[@GianuSystem]

“Find an x-fundie in the wild” ! I love it! If you want to find a lot of us, The Liturgists community online is almost exclusively that, and there’s a lot of discussion about the different damaging things (from hell fire to purity doctrine). Some still identify as xtain, but many are agnostics, atheists, and a fair number of Buddhists. I’ve found it a safe and accepting community. Here’s a link if you want to explore. discourse.theliturgists.com ::::my phone won’t let me add a space for the paragraph lol::: I was homeschooled during my middle school years, but that was mainly because I went to a violent (knifes and such) inner city school. Still, it won me all kinds of points with the other fundies. 🙄 To your ramblings, Stan Mitchel (lost his mega church for marrying a gay couple and then coming out pro LGBT) says that the theology of hell works because if you think there’s even a 1% chance that it’s right, the odds are too high to ignore, and that’s why it’s so insidious. Thinkers like him and Science Mike are a large part of the reason I was able to keep the good while loudly disavowing the bad because it has to be disavowed. It’s so damaging and warping in ways that people who weren’t immersed in it will not be able to understand. I’m glad you were able to find a way out from the fear. :::: You stay safe too. Jenna ^_^

[@arcaine3907]

Religion is very personal and intimate thing and it means and it is something else for every one of us because of ours experiences and stuff. I come from christian family. We are 95% Catholics in Poland but I'm agnostic or something like that.... I don't believe in church like the institution and I'm opposed by it but I don't really refuse existence of some astral being more powerful that us and I would like to believe in life after death and that we will meet again someday with our loved ones or we will be born again in this world to have a chance to have a happy lifes too. I mean that death isn't just the black cold end. I know I'm very chaotic please excuse me I'm all over the place in this topic... I had a bad experiences with church (the institution and priests and whole that)

[@GianuSystem]

That’s how I felt talking about it (all over the place). It’s very personal, but finding we’d referenced it in a few videos, I felt like I should try and explain my experience a little, which is largely bad when it comes to the church but still somehow good when it comes to spirituality.

[@arcaine3907]

@@GianuSystem yeah it is sometimes good to talk about the hard topics to sort things out in your head and to share experience because you never know if you're helping somebody by doing that

[@Fireflies_Bethel]

We really understand your struggle. The church... so often gets it wrong. That doesn't mean God, gets it wrong, just that people do. God has helped our system as well and we don't think we are 'special;' either! No one knows why one hears from God in a powerful way and another doesn't. I think it has to do with hardness or hearts? OUr system was very hurt by one church, and very helped by another. Now... we have trouble going. Not all of us are christians, but like your system, we all believe in God in some way. It's hard... as doctrine is VERY confusing. but we have actually found DID answers in the bible! I think God... was a punishing God because we are in a sinful world, but that is why he sent his son Jesus, to give us a way out! a way back to him. The huge message that our system recieved from God is 1. He will never give up on us and 2. He wasn't going to leave us in the distressed and crazy state we were in. He's held true to both of those so far! and we've been blessed to recieve a lot of counselling for our DID and other mental health issues. We've... lost some family and friends, but we still have God. Thank you for addressing this very difficult and sensitive topic for DID systems. Your questions about God were so similiar to ours... as we have a Wiccan in the system, and other non christians who questioned everything! I think the greatest faith is the faith that stays true, dispite the mass of confusion that life and the church throws at us. Maybe... we ARE special after all? Special enough, that our faith holds true through the wilderness, and to God, we were special enough right? (Faith and others of Fireflies system)

[@Draondusoleil]

I'm an co-con fictive alter and you should listen "maria simma" videos, my host was a Deist, now a catholic and you are doing wrong VERY WRONG trying to "fit" God to you. God is more than "love" THIS IS WHY I THINK alters might be possesion, they only want to accept "God" if it fits in your "mental confort".

[@GianuSystem]

All my alters can say “Jesus is Lord”, recite the Lord’s Prayer, and the rosary. So as far as signs of demonic possession goes, there are none. There’s been no floating, vomiting, or laying curses. But it’s easier, so much easier to just write it off as demonic possession than to look at the persistent, evil childhood trauma that follows a person. Trauma that would be easier to accept if the supernatural did it instead of a parent or loved one. The affects of the trauma easier to shrug off if all that needs done is an exorcism instead of years of intense therapy. Then there’s no exiled parts of yourself that you have to accept, no haunting things you have to remember just the sweet smelling anointing oil on your head to keep away the monsters.

[@user-wi3yx3gy2o]

It is hard for me to understand how, without a lot of prejudice, you can conceive of your alters as demons, since you can often recognize their energy.

[@Draondusoleil]

@@user-wi3yx3gy2o at the end of the day we dont really know what in fact is..