Childless By Choice - A Powerful Act of Fulfillment | Vicki McLeod | TEDxGastownWomen

[@kefilwem8284]

Rather be child-free than regret ever having children. There are parents who abuse their children, yet everyone is concerned why women like me made a conscious and cautious choice not to have children. My choices, my womb and my life.

[@vickimcleod4822]

Yes.

[@JackSardonic]

It's probably a good thing you aren't having children.

[@ohwellwhateverr]

​@@JackSardonic Elaborate, please. In my experience, the reasons that motivate people to be consciously childfree are (ironically) indicative of qualities that would make them great parents - selflessness, compassion, thoughtfulness, careful decision-making, conscientiousness...

[@fluxmuldar]

I am a childless spinster who has failed my biological mission as a woman to produce children and continue our species. I am a shame to my family and my ancestors, who all fought so hard to bring me into being.

[@kailashuv3028]

@@JackSardonic yes we need more people like you.'cause ,the world is suffering heavy pollutions,global warming,deforestations ....to save the world we need to have low population....so it is a great choice not to have children...

[@mandilee3164]

Seeing this as a 20 year old woman means the world to me.

[@anegron3285]

I wish i was smart like you at that age. I never want kids but at age 22 i was not using my brain and got pregnant. Sometimes i regret having a kid. But know i am 29 and smarter and using my brain i will not ever get pregnant again.

[@AG-lc5mn]

I feel proud for you. That being said, do treat the kid well.

[@Phoenix_cataclysm_in_2040]

John2Riley Amen, brother. This female shouldn't be allowed anywhere near microphone to deceive younger women that are listening to her, as many often following such an advice will discover for themselves what being childless lonely aunt truly is. "Or becoming a nun." That should be a red flag right away. But them chicks are sleepwalking into the same cesspool that this individual has just climbed out.

[@jjjsmith2497]

Kris Religious beliefs always work their way into these things huh? I have always called religion brainwashing.

[@alunreese7260]

Misery loves company. It's like the blind leading the blind.

[@001ash]

“Loving children doesn’t mean bearing them.”

[@Sealust50]

And it doesn't mean "raising" them either - which is an enormous job in itself IF done the right way!

[@e_viola]

THIS

[@shockwave1126]

@purplefashion03 Yeah, I'm not into kids and def don't want to hold a newborn. People assume you want to hold their baby, just stop.

[@happywanderer2874]

I don’t even like them, so the choice is easy for me.

[@BlackCroLong]

Yes, it does.

[@sburris65]

I'm 53..childfree..and have no regrets in my decision. I'm not a fan of children. I like my freedom. I like a peaceful house when I'm home sick. I have better things to do with $250,000 than raise a child. I like sleeping in. Disney is cheaper without kids. I can go see a horror movie rather than the emoji movie. I can spend $300 on Lion King tickets. I can have a room devoted to doing my crafts in. I like my life with just my husband and myself. What ever any woman's reason is for not having a child. We need to. stop questioning it.

[@landyli7813]

Same here, call me selfish, so what, i am true to myself.

[@JackSardonic]

Childless coalburner? I guess it has some benefits.

[@Neophema]

@Spanish Language Educational Resources Why would she want to turn heads? What does that have to do with her not having children and enjoying her life?

[@leeosborn4641]

Susan Burris Your short post contained the word "I" 10 times.......I guess that pretty much says it all!

[@sophski306]

@@leeosborn4641 I guess what you're inferring here is the notion that choosing not to have children is selfish in some way. By definition, being "selfish" means to prioritise yourself with a lack of consideration into how your actions affect other people, and while a large part of my desire to remain childfree is so I can prioritise my career and interests, in what way does that choice affect anyone other than myself? And lastly, so what? You only have one life and you never know how long you have left; I'd rather spend my time on this planet seeing and experiencing everything it has to offer rather than being shackled to dependant offspring who had no choice in whether or not they were born. If that makes me selfish then I'm going to keep being selfish until the day I die.

[@seastorm9548]

Just because we have the ability to procreate doesn't mean we have the responsibility

[@CrystalReneeMusic]

I love this. Im stealing this.

[@chiyerano]

Indeed.

[@theultimatereductionist7592]

Just because we have the ability to procreate doesn't mean we have the right to. Breeding is murder.

[@patsaxon5284]

That does not fit into God's plans and not biblical. Using birth control is an abomination!

[@chiyerano]

@@patsaxon5284 Is this sarcasm? If it isn't then who said anything about birth control? How exactly do you know what God's plan is for anyone, for yourself even? That is almost like saying you know the mind of God and I strongly doubt that you do.

[@Misseggy24]

People who actually believe that a woman’s predominant purpose is to bear children make me feel physically repulsed. How could anyone be so cruel?

[@AN-zz8ps]

I KNOW right?!

[@HollieBelleAK]

The reason I left the Latter Day Saint (Mormon) church. It’s driven home repeatedly that a “woman’s eternal divine purpose” is to be a mother. You can only imagine what the heck that does to a young girl’s self-esteem and how she knows she is viewed not only by the world, but how she is viewed by the actual people who she sees every Sunday, people who are watching her grow up, seeing her as a walking womb. Lip service as to how women are equal and loved in God’s eyes while also preaching “your purpose is pregnancy” is utterly baffling and mind damaging.

[@alicehuijbregts]

Please stand by me as my whole family calls me selfish 😞

[@cindyirene2001]

I used to be Mormon. They’d say this ALL the time.

[@natural3362]

@@HollieBelleAK those are the cult. I'm glad you leave

[@lavenderlunascauldron8541]

I rather use the word childfree. Childless implies the desire to have children but circumstances prevent it. Childfree is the freedom without children.

[@carrie8541]

You got it. HAPPY AND AT PEACE WITH YOUR DECISION. NO REGRETS.

[@chrissycroft5099]

@Tyler Durden Since I was 5 I knew I wouldn't have any kids, so your statement is completely wrong.

[@chrissycroft5099]

@Tyler Durden Well one is completely unrealistic and the other is not. But in the end; my uterus, my decision.

[@heliosfromacrossastar878]

Tyler Durden you’re amusing. You claim women only say they don’t want children once they can’t have them, then when someone says they were a child when they knew they didn’t want children you say they were too young to know. So which one is it, sweetie? Pick a lane so I can cruise by enjoying a child-free life

[@ashdacraft]

Tyler Durden how does her getting skeeted in effect you? I just need to know.

[@anweshakar146]

I wish there more people in India who actively questioned the narrative of compulsory motherhood!

[@manasac3102]

Good to see some other Indian girls who are open to childfree notion

[@scottcharney1091]

The total fertility rate in India has decreased a lot.

[@scottcharney1091]

Naxalite? Seriously? Get a grip.

[@ayeshaahmad4953]

Anwesha Kar I totally agree with you .. in India it's almost like a sin to not want a child

[@ayeshaahmad4953]

shekhar pratap what has got into you?

[@epicurusone6897]

I never use the term ‘childless’ just ‘I choose not to spawn’. It usually shuts people up.

[@idontcarei]

great one

[@leeosborn4641]

Oh you are soooo clever!!!

[@ohwellwhateverr]

A music teacher at my old school used to refer to children as "spawn of Satan". Poor guy. Apt description.

[@SubArchitectDJ]

When I hear someone plopped one out I think "Round of applause. You performed a basic human function"

[@commodityjane]

How about: "Don't worry...my not having kids won't affect you a bit"

[@moxiemae1236]

My go-to favorite response when someone asks if I have children is to say "Oh God no!" It catches them off guard and I love it so very much.

[@vimbayikajese2336]

Same! When someone asks I smile and say 'Fortunately not. We are blessed to be childfree especially during the pandemic.'

[@ViagensGringa]

U sound like fun!!

[@moxiemae1236]

@@ViagensGringa Thanks! I am a lot of fun, especially since I'm not burdened with children.

[@Alice_Walker]

Baaah!! Me too!! It's the best 😁

[@s8ix]

It make sense when I look at your blue hair

[@heatherfowlie2508]

I have so many childfree friends and never once had it occurred to me question their life choices. Having children is in no way the most fulfilling thing I've ever done in my life. What a crazy thing to say. I love my children, but my reason for being? No way. Everyone is on their own path, by choice or circumstance, and if there is joy on your path you're doing it right.

[@maxskyfan]

Has it ever occurred to you that if you have "so many childfree friends" that are the same as you then this would form a comfort zone? With a comfort zone, anyone who would upset the mixture of the zone is bound to get pressure from the others there. Much like it wouldn't be a good idea to announce to friends that you were going to lose some weight as the response would be: "Oh, but you look good the way you are." Then there is the single guy with a bunch of single friends, but one by one they all get married and in 10 years not only aren't his friends comfortable with him, neither are their wives and out of zone he goes.

[@m.r5039]

Thank you, I really needed to hear that there is some sense left here.🙏🏻❤️

[@slimetank394]

@@maxskyfan he literally said he has children in his comment, "i love my children", he's not "the same as" his child free friends. Check your reading comprehension

[@zcm007attack]

It is only questionable if they ended up having unexpected children out of wedlock. I know a few guys who have have multiple baby mamas and still pursuing romantic connections with other women; it’s crazy and unnecessarily complex. Not to mention financially draining.

[@frarfarf]

95% of my friends and family are married with children, makes me feel very marginalised by my situation

[@lochpearled]

I would rather die than become pregnant and give birth. So glad I have the option not to have children.

[@RippedPantyhose]

Lol seriously? If the only people who are capable of missing you are the ones you gave birth to, there’s a good chance you’re a miserable person and they’ll be dancing on your grave.

[@makalaadams4]

@@terron7840 well i definitely don't think you should have children just for the sake of them mourning you in the future. that's not a good enough reason in my opinion.

[@stevenmom58]

@@terron7840 that doesn't mean everyone should have children. This isn't a primal society, my financial, social and emotional responsibilities outweigh "primal responsibility". Its not anyone's duty to have children they don't want. That's why kids get abused or get put in foster care.

[@EvitoCruor]

Lpoleo P The strongest most fulfilling love any couple or friend has experienced is but a pale shadow of that between a caring parent and child.

[@EvitoCruor]

Violet Lee Your fashionable duties to your social circle are utterly meaningless in the grand scale of things, about the only good thing to come out of this cult of equality ideology is that you are actively breeding yourself out of the genepool, it won't take more than 3-4 generations to completely wipe out your genetic disposition and the rest of humanity can get on without this socially transmitted cancer.

[@tanderson6871]

I'm in my 40s and I don't have children and I'm not a cool aunt because my sister's children are overbearing and I dislike being around arrogant and self absorbed beings.

[@ZariaWorldwide]

T Anderson 😂😂😂👏👏👏

[@erickaL4]

You must be a joy to be around.

[@leeosborn4641]

Seems to me you're the one that's the problem.

[@RG-lu6fz]

It's always the men commenting on women who make the choice to not have children😒😒 get over it...

[@leeosborn4641]

@@RG-lu6fz Hmmmm, strange you should say that..........the person commenting in the video is a woman and nearly all the comments underneath are by women. Has it occurred to many women in general, and you in particular, that a woman's partner, whom I suppose ideally she professes to love, might want to have children and seeing biologically he can't have them it has to be up to her. But of course these days it's just all about the woman......her rights, her wants, her entitlements. It never used to be this way; this complicated. There was relative harmony between the sexes and generally men and women liked each other. Women are so busy trying to compete with and beat men at everything that they have lost their uniqueness and forfeited their femininity. Women's rights and radical feminism is tearing apart the very social fabric of our civilization by destroying the family unit and obliterating the birth rate.......which of course is the aim and intention. Has there ever been a sorrier sight than to see women march, demanding the right to be able to kill their unborn children if they so choose. Men cannot stop all of this.....it has gone too far now. Only women can, but I cannot see any signs that is going to happen anytime soon! No wonder men in ever increasing numbers are throwing their hands in the air and choosing to go their own way. God help our country if it ever has to defend itself.

[@michelleayotte7845]

I'm 49-almost 50!- and child free by choice. I'm perfectly content with my life the way it is now. I've always known that motherhood wasnt for me. I value my independance too much. Dont care what any one else says .

[@vickimcleod4822]

Power to your independence!

[@michelleayotte7845]

I was raised to be independant by an equally independant mother. She married my dad in 1952 but chose not to have a baby until 1957. That was 'radical' for that time!

[@alexwang982]

50!? Factorial is a big number

[@selftaughtpolyglot]

You are narcissistic. That is why. Imagine your mother that narcissistic!?

[@sirenthomas4595]

*hugs you make me at 38 not feel a sense of doom they shame women with esp bc im an only child yOu wiLL diE AlOne *rolls eyes ...

[@abigailhornibrook2470]

Thank you! My husband and I are constantly questioned about "how much could we really love each other" if we did not want to give each other children. My husband and I are soul mates and we are lovin life!

[@epicurusone6897]

What a terrible thing to say to a couple.

[@ah_libra]

Amazing!! I hope that I could have an amazing husband and marriage too!

[@leeosborn4641]

Abigail Hornibrook.....Well, statistically your husband is most likely to die first. My Mum is 103. My Dad died 43 years ago. She had 4 sons with him and now has 12 grandchildren and 13 great grandchildren with 2 more on the way. She feels so loved and blessed. She said to me fairly recently, "You know I don't know where I'd be if I hadn't had children. Everybody of my generation that I knew has gone, both family and friends. I'd be a terribly sad, lonely old woman. But here I am, living in this beautiful home, surrounded by a large loving family that constantly makes a fuss of me. I'm supported by my daughter-in-law and taken everywhere by my sons and their wives. I consider myself very fortunate." So good luck Abigail!!!

[@mridulbarman4114]

@@leeosborn4641 Sir, In 21st century it will be a sin to create such a huge family. Food is going scarce, jobs are scarce, Living in a Tier 1 City will burn one bank. More people means more mouths to feed. Having children in this century is a Sin. We should reduce overpopulation and save the Earth.

[@leeosborn4641]

@@mridulbarman4114 No, wrong answer.......we should stop 1% of the people having 85% of the wealth and then strive to keep the birth rate at about 2.3 children per couple or at the replacement rate. As the Earth stands at the moment the Earth is not over-populated. The problem is not over-population. The problem is the terribly unequal distribution of wealth. The wealthy will tell you that the world's problems are caused by we, "the useless eaters", having too many children......that it's our fault, because they do not want us to realize that it is actually their fault. You have bought into their lies and are helping them by passing their lies onto others.

[@viktorianagudi4459]

The amount of men who are emotionally invested in enforcing gender roles is concerning. Why do you need to care about who has children as long as it's not your own wife?

[@seastorm9548]

It's all about control. It's either men or women over 50 who are so invested on whether or not someone has children. You have to be suspicious about people who get so bent out of shape over a personal choice.

[@jay1jayf]

I think they just call out the awful logic used by the childless people. And I mean, you can't take your idea into a public forum and then complain when the public has a different opinion than you.

[@doctordarcy8385]

The crybaby "men" commenting in this section, are likely "'red-pilled" anti-feminists. Such misogynistic BS.

[@saidahassan8774]

@@jay1jayf where is the logic wrong hmmm? And people are allowed to have different opinions. That's what we're all doing, right?

[@artisanaltoast9085]

Jay Jimenez where and when is the logic behind not wanting kids “awful”?

[@TheMetalhead678]

I wouldn't have kids. I can barely look after my self so god knows how I'd look after a kid.

[@leeosborn4641]

I like this.......one of the few honest statements on here. :-)

[@moonpleiades99]

Same

[@Sealust50]

Beautiful, simple honesty - as Billy Joel sings, "Honesty - is such a lonely word - everyone is so untrue"

[@h35biznez]

XDDD SAME

[@Clintsessentials]

Exactly!!!

[@isabelriquelme8744]

I think many women have children and they get married because they think , they have to...I never followed the crowds....no regrets...when people ask me why I didn't have children they expect maybe a sad story so when i say the truth That I never really wanted any, .....they get shocked...and do I feel complete?? yes, manly because i was truthful to myself, I am the one who has to look at myself in the mirror...

[@grattata4364]

Awesome isabel! All power to you!

[@leeosborn4641]

Have you ever heard the sound of one hand clapping?

[@monikfreak19]

In third world countries women hardly have anything and they have kids because they are not selfish

[@giuliazunino249]

@@monikfreak19 no, because they don`t have anticonceptionals.

[@monikfreak19]

Giulia ZUNINO these days they have access to birth control for free but they are afraid to use it because of their cultural beliefs and social stigma

[@noname89636]

Never wanted children, still don't want them, no regrets. I am a network security engineer who travels to Europe twice a year. I have not a single regret.

[@Sealust50]

Hey, I'm with you on that, but I don't have a "career" now and STILL don't want a kid and NEVER did! I am 60 years old.

[@veroniquecastel9582]

Star Gazer Good for you! live your life your way :-) you can be free from child-rearing chores and still choose to be career free, and just do whatever you choice. Your life is your choice. :-) (I am ChildFree too, love it!)

[@drunclecookie216]

I got a vasectomy at 27 and everyone tried talking me out of it because I didn't have any kids... after I had it done it was like a big weight was lifted off my shoulders. I'm 42 now and I still consider it the best decision I ever made in my entire life.

[@veroniquecastel9582]

Same! I’ve had a Salpingectomy, it was the best day of my life and it means I am medically ChildFree! :-D

[@jane-cn6nd]

@@veroniquecastel9582 I had a tubal ligation at 23 years old, the best decision I've ever made for myself.

[@maxxomega6599]

I had the snip on May 8th, 1982 at 23... No kids either...

[@-Swamp_Donkey-]

In a parallel universe where you have children, you regard the days they were born as the best days of your life.

[@drunclecookie216]

@@-Swamp_Donkey- nope, I'm selfish and have a bad temper when I get angry or stressed out. I've been this way since I was a kid. My dad and my grandpa also had very bad tempers so it's hereditary. Not everyone should have kids. People who grew up in abusive households would tell you the same thing.

[@justahobbitwholovesbooks6414]

I've been married 6 years now and I am always asked when are you going to have kids? Why do people care so much? It drives me nuts when people have this I feel sorry for you face when they hear my answer no to their question if I have kids. I'm not sorry I'm happy that I find my purpose in other things than having a kid.

[@vickimcleod4822]

I can completely relate! Thanks for watching.

[@77Tadams]

They don't care. They just want to do the normal mundane small talk that is socially acceptable and is the social norm. More than likely they don't care one iota. If they did they would be there to help you raise them. Most people are busy with their own life. This is just the normal banter that really isn't that interesting. They have nothing to add because they don't have interesting things to talk about or would want to even try.

[@Sealust50]

Alexis Munson, because MISERY LOVES COMPANY, that's why!

[@selftaughtpolyglot]

That's your opinion and experience and it is extremely narrow. I can't see your point.

[@shelza33]

@@77Tadams Very true, it's just the small talk. I used to wish people could be more imaginative with their questions.

[@lyle2685]

To be honest, if I could make the choice, I would choose not to be born

[@vickimcleod4822]

Sending you love, hon.

[@VantaBlack216]

I'm sure a lot of people think that but wouldn't openly say it... A lot of people would choose the option not to be born if they had that choice!

[@antonettehicana4839]

Same

[@rosemarytoews5439]

ditto....If I knew what I would have to live through day by day from very early on and how it would come back to haunt me and relationships, I would not be here.

[@Sealust50]

Such an openly honest statement. I have never said that I would have chosen not to be born, but I have marveled at the fact that I was born, but didn't have any choice in the decision of whether or not I WAS born. Things that make you go hmmmmmm!

[@SummaGirl1347]

If only we could dump the "I don't have kids but I'm such a cool aunt" narrative. It implies that women need children - if not theirs then someone else's - to be "normal" and fulfilled. When asked if they have children, childless men just say "nope". They don't feel the need to add mitigating statements and neither should we.

[@Cozybelle30]

She's speaking of herself personally. She isn't saying you have to be that either.

[@Phoenix_cataclysm_in_2040]

2DirtyDogs That's just a Freudian slip, sister.

[@vickimcleod4822]

So much yes to this!

[@christinemarie6976]

I have very little interest in children. I'm not an aunt, so maybe if I knew some personally it would be different, but in general, not so much.

[@Grace-mr8bc]

@@VickiLMcLeod There are some who just don't like kids and I feel it's okay - doesn't make 'em any less of a person. Not every woman has that "maternal instinct" Personally, I don't like hanging around kids, and together with other reasons, informed my decision to never want be a mother.

[@blythesaunders3124]

There are so many neglected children in the orphanages. The population keeps growing and people are fighting for limited resources. Women who are not having children are a blessing.

[@ankra12]

Why should everybody have children? Never wanted children.

[@Clintsessentials]

Agree

[@HopeLaFleur1975]

such sad women here..mother emptyness! your hearts must be so cold ..its ok you don't have kids, its your own will..but its so weird how you see the world and see beautiful children! scarry!

[@Princessalicekawaii]

@@HopeLaFleur1975 such sad woman you are, your world is so small you can't find anything else to be happy beside children. It's ok if you have kids, it's your own will but it's so weird when you expect everyone to see the same small world of yours. Scary!!!!

[@wormbag80]

@@Princessalicekawaii You are precious, never change (From a random 16yrs old Girl)

[@HIPP024]

Because that is why you exist and we still exist is the future

[@GilbriarProductionsbyPaulaDSto]

I chose to be sterilized 44 years ago. It’s the smartest thing I’ve done so far!!! Thanks to Planned Parenthood, the only ones who would do it. I was turned down by 10 old male doctors who thought they should choose my life for me. I shutter to think what I would have missed had I been forced to risk pregnancy.

[@silverstarlight9395]

Which country are you from? Can you tell me the name of your doctor and the address of their clinic?

[@harleenquinzel9369]

Abortion must not be wrong if they're not willing to sterilize women who dont want kids. How many abortions must I have before a doctor will realize I'm serious?

[@AN-zz8ps]

@@harleenquinzel9369 I can't believe doctors wont sterilize woman who don't want kids how twisted is that?!

[@veroniquecastel9582]

Paula D. Stone Good for you! Your body is your choice! :-) I’ve had the the snip too, a Salpingectomy, removal of the Fallopian tubes via keyhole- BEST DAY IF MY LIFE! :-) my partner and I enjoy our ChildFree life of making music; he’s a drummer and I am a cellist. We sleep in when we chose and do yoga and art when we choose, because we are not tied down with child-rearing chores. Right now he’s doing yoga and I am in my art room. :-) all the best to you Paula. :-)

[@veroniquecastel9582]

Mehak Malhotra I am in Melbourne, Australia, ChildFree and had the snip (Salpingectomy) and it was done by Dr Judith Fleming. No lecture, no drama and free too! :-)

[@leeche87]

she is so beautiful at 60

[@stevenswiel8015]

An attractive woman

[@bubbles1978]

leeche she doesn’t look 60 :O the perks of being child free!

[@дуња-э1ж]

Because she's childfree obviously

[@zabzab6128]

People always tell me my mind will change. I'm 30 now and my mind never changed and maybe never will. So what's wrong with it? I'm happy with my current life without kids.

[@idontcarei]

nothing wrong ..all the best ...if u want u can adopt later ..or not at all

[@zabzab6128]

exactly :)

[@vickimcleod4822]

Here’s to powerful personal choices!

[@leeosborn4641]

What's wrong with it? I'm 73 and like you I've been 30.....but you haven't been 73. When you get to 73 ask yourself the question again. You may have a different answer.

[@Sealust50]

I'm 60 now. I remember my mother telling me, "one day, you'll find yourself saying to yourself that something is missing". Well, 40 years later, that day NEVER came! And do you know why? I NEVER WANTED ANY.

[@vickythecat1741]

To all people who choose to stay child-free, you are my friend, please never ever feel alone. You are brave, you are amazing, you do more for this planet than the majority just by your choice. You deserve the best, so live your best life!

[@carrie8541]

Just makes you realize how outdated brainwashed and primitive this society truly is. Thanks for the share

[@lukasmccain3529]

Carrie totally. People actually are thinking that they should have no loyalty to their race and people... isn’t it crazy?

[@skylarjane9559]

@@lukasmccain3529 You are only loyal to yourself

[@lukasmccain3529]

Skylar jane not me personally. My first locality is to my wife and son. Secondly to my family and race.

[@skylarjane9559]

@@lukasmccain3529 No has to be loyal to anything

[@lukasmccain3529]

Skylar jane I’m assuming you meant “no one has to be loyal to anything”. And Id say wake to you that you should wake up from your nihilism. Do you have a family of your own?

[@lightningminded]

Strong child-free older women are unsung heroes and role models for so many people

[@African_Childfree_millennials]

😘

[@3gok838]

Said by spinsters in the mirror.

[@tmajuru559]

If you need a reason for why women choose to be spinsters, you need only look in the mirror.

[@simonewithers2809]

I'm 35, childfree and happily married. Women tend to either treat me with suspicion, pity, or infantilise me and tend to exclude me from activities (baby showers, coffee meet-ups etc) as they assume I hate children! Interestingly, men tend to be curious and find my independent, unconventional nature appealing! As well as over-population and environmental concerns, I don't feel there is anything missing in my life, and don't want to give up my hobbies and identity to become a mother. Even though maternity pay, flexible working etc is much better, the reality of working and raising a child doesn't sound much fun to me. Also, even though men are taking a more active role in child care, in many cases, the every day childcare is still mainly left to women (e.g. dropping kids of at school etc). I get on the train every morning, and often there will be none or very few women in their 30s in the carriage (and sometimes no women at all!) and I sometimes wonder whether we are living in the 1950s still. The men are happily reading their newspapers or chatting about their hobbies, whilst the women look tired and haggered and mostly just talk about their children. At the weekends, I see hoards of women with designer prams going for coffee or to play groups, and I often wonder what their husbands are doing? Until childcare becomes a bit more equal, I think I will pass, thank you!

[@valerietaylor9615]

I’m sixty-five and childfree. I’m obviously past child-bearing age now, but when I was younger, I got little or no flack from women about my childfree status. I did get a certain amount from men. Most of these men were uneducated and/or conservative, though.

[@keylimepie8426]

I’m 44, child free and full of peace and contentment. I’m so happy I knew I didn’t want children at a very young age.

[@samantha5521]

I just feel so bad for those who will experience the end of the world or a catastrophic event. All this fuss when we know nothing lasts forever. Be kind and love those who are here. There is an over abundance of people and need. Those who wish to not bow to social pressures can provide the love, energy, and strength of will that is so desperately needed. Creating more children for the sake of having children is wrong.

[@idontcarei]

unfortunately high iq thinkers like u r less in numbers

[@AN-zz8ps]

I TOTALLY agree especially when there's so many children who need to be adopted

[@rachelpeham3508]

@@AN-zz8ps not only adopted, but generally cared for. Not every child with parents has support and a safe haven to grow.

[@ms.rivera7898]

Wonderful message!

[@crimsonskiss]

People use having children as an excuse not to create a life with purpose, as though following a biological imperative is enough of a contribution - and it may be for some, but not for me. As for people crying over me or missing me, not needed at all. What possible purpose does that serve?

[@ashleyen1]

Erin Nelson I agree 100%. It seems like people who have children give up completely on themselves and it's acceptable because they have children to raise. I think they find comfort in that.

[@77Tadams]

It is rather dull isn't it? I find people around me in misery lots of times and just don't try...but they pooped out a kid and now they think they are better than people who didn't even though they are lousy parents and don't car about others at all.

[@fiascochick3]

I was questioning the purpose of life and what I wanted to really do in this world and an acquaintance said that I didn’t feel fulfilled because I didn’t have children. 🤔😒

[@Sealust50]

@@fiascochick3 Did you laugh in their face? I sure hope you did because they needed it!

[@fiascochick3]

Sealust50 Yes, I should’ve! Lol I couldn’t believe she said that!

[@OhPhilly]

If you're wondering why you get asked this question a lot "when are you going to have kids?" It's because people like to assume that you to are following the social norm. This is usually because they themselves are having doubts about whether or not they should reproduce and when uncertain about a life path, what do people do? They look for clarification and an inherent need to stick with the herd and do the normal safe thing like it's some kind of recipe for happiness. So instead of making a conscious decision based on what they really want - They go with the flow and then find themselves at 25, 30, 35, 40 wondering why they aren't happy and life didn't turn out how they'd always hoped it would. Then there's the new parents that are completely obsessed with their babies like it's Christmas every day - You often find that they had very little enjoyment, activity, and fun in their life before kids so when they do have them it's suddenly given their life purpose. Those who already had all this feel that having children may take away from that. (Less time, freedom, money. More stress etc).

[@holulu777]

My wife and I don't have kids and WE LOVE IT.

[@veroniquecastel9582]

holulu777 same! My partner is a drummer and I am a cellist and we jam when we want, I am doing a psychology degree, and we sleep in whenever we want and just yesterday I said to him “imagine trying to live our lives with children, would be hard, we’d be tied down to them!” We’re a ChildFree couple too. And I’ve had the snip (a Salpingectomy) and we don’t want baby-making chores to interfere with our lifestyle. :-)

[@holulu777]

@@veroniquecastel9582 Guys in the office once told me that I do not have kids because I am SELFISH. I told them there is NOTHING WRONG WITH BEING SELFISH, Peanut gallery went silence after that.

[@slaonestephens7575]

@@holulu777 but it’s funny because ask them why they had children. Most of the times a selfish answer will follow

[@mikesmith1181]

same same here holulu! We've talked about this extensively and have no regrets.

[@mikesmith1181]

@@slaonestephens7575 exactly. Too many people will cite "legacy", which is extremely selfish.

[@canadaqbank]

Intelligent, educated and civilized people are child free.

[@bathtubwine2137]

Intelligent, educated and civilized people don't fall for propaganda.

[@alicefaitdescarabistouille924]

You can have intelligent, educated and civilized people in both sides. But the ones who are uncivilized are those who force the others to adopt their own views.

[@swicel]

And infertile one unfortunately

[@Kim-vs4vb]

@CanadaQBank, very true as Iv observed.... poorer less educated low skilled people tend to have way more kids than they can actually support and care for than people who are highly educated, wealthier and who have the means but either don't have kids or might have 1 or 2.

[@haritikanand8502]

That is not true at all. People who are childfree are simply those who never were able to see the value of this relationship and never had the deeper level of thoughtfulness or the broad- mind which is required to genuinely see, realize and understand that value. Are you really trying to say that the people who fit in this criteria are intelligent, educated and civilised or are they the literal opposite??

[@mariamdikazi7559]

childfree by choice.

[@stevenswiel8015]

You can also choose not to get married and not have a proper relationship is all up to you. A boy and girl can also be friends and go away without commitment.

[@DameDarcy999]

I love kids and have lots of experience as a teacher, nanny, preschool teacher and mentor and fairy godmother. Because I have so much experience I know the reality of kids and I can’t believe how if someone wants to drive a car they need to go through a process to get a the credential for a license, or go to college for a career but without any preparation or education on the topic , rando irresponsible idiots can put an innocent child into this world. I think anyone who wants to be a parent should be required to feed babies and change diapers, wake up ,prepare , and drop off school aged children then help them with their homework and then council troubled teens and prep them for college. If they did this and still wanted children afterwards they would be somewhat ready. Meanwhile its guaranteed many would not! A program like this would help society. The world is overpopulated anyway and the ocean is full of plastic so the human race is sadly doomed due to corporate greed. No one thinks about 60 years from now, or even 30... the future your child will be living. They just think “I want a baby” ... so selfish.

[@kelliea7451]

Dame Darcy Say it louder for the people in the back!!

[@ms.rivera7898]

So true!

[@maxxomega6599]

Exactly...If I want to buy a car, house, stereo, go on vacation, I need a job and money, BUT if I want kids, with no responsible to anyone, I can pop out 4, 5, 6, etc and then whine when I am too broke to survive...

[@ChloeDiane]

Women who are intentionally childfree are usually confident and happy with their decision.. Its everybody else who struggles with it... It doesnt affect you in any way. Mind ur own business. Her body. Her choice.

[@sissysovereign1294]

They struggle with it because seeing childfree women is the ultimate threat and insecurity to them. We're walking reminders of the better choices that they should have really thought of and made, but didn't. We live lives that they secretly want and thus end up resenting both us and their kids (that had no say on being here) for it. It's quite sad really.

[@glaptoper]

@@sissysovereign1294 Exactly. Childfree women being happy reminds them of what they could've been without the misery, and they can't stand it. It's such a narcissistic mindset to have.

[@violetavalery]

Most people who have children do it for utilitarian reasons, they want to get something out of it (social status, someone to take care of them when they are old, filling in the empty hours of their life) the ones who decide not to have children are the ones who feel that they would lose something if they had children, whereas those who want to have children don't have anything of value in their lives, so they don't have that dilemma.

[@CrystalReneeMusic]

Wheeewwww chile... YEESSSSS I agree.

[@victoriab.6601]

I loved reading the comments. I'm 35 and also childfree. All of my friends have children and whenever I see them, they never bring up the subject but they look at me like there's something very odd about the way I've chosen to live my life, about me. It's like there's a barrier between us for chosing to have children or not to, which makes me a little sad. I also live in a mostly Catholic country so I think the pressure to have kids is stronger.

[@sheli4239]

Imagine you and your fellow chimpanzees are sitting around socializing. By now you would have been impregnated, so yes, it's odd for our species too.

[@77Tadams]

Thank you! I needed this so bad. I needed your voice at this very moment. I have heard many other talks on childless and childfree and yours is by far most encompassing, empowering, and truthful. Thank you. Thank you!

[@emmafinch1981]

I would rather have a pet 🙂

[@greengoblin9567]

You are a sad individual

[@emilybooth5495]

Same x x

[@mnokers6884]

Utsav JOSHI lol how is she said?because she loves animals?not everyone wants kids get over it

[@mnokers6884]

Jarod wow calm down dude

[@Havinganokaytimethanks]

I am raising my two senior dogs and NO. It is not cheaper ! NO. You still get emotionallyattached. You need to learn how to take care of another life. Raising animals is not an escape .

[@learnova1761]

Geez, so many triggered people in the comments. "I feel like I want to live this way." "NO YOU'RE WRONG, YOU'RE A WAMEN AND THAT MEANS I AUTOMATICALLY KNOW YOU BETTER THAN YOURSELF!" lol grow up

[@kagevista3375]

SAY IT LOUDER FOR THE PEOPLE IN THE BACK

[@lovebug1180]

what's a WAMEN

[@MsNooneinparticular]

So glad people are starting to "come out" about this! We live in a parent-oriented society for sure. Some people are harassed or even disowned by their families for not having biological children. For most it's not that serious, but the majority of us--especially women--have experienced at least SOME judgment on the issue. If everyone was childfree, we'd be in trouble as a species. Likewise, if every man & woman had children, we'd be in a *lot* of trouble population-wise since some families have 3 or more kids. Diversity is to be welcomed, not shunned.

[@lr2ldn]

I LOOOOOOVE being Childfree!

[@emmafinch1981]

So do I I love it

[@leeosborn4641]

Not Childfree.....you are Childless......you are Without Child. You cannot be free of something that was not there in the first place. It is fudgy double-speak.......to cloud the issue and make you feel better.

[@apeskatt]

What motivated you to post this? You feel uncomfortable when someone is feeling happy & free without children? There is enough people in the world to show love to, I do not need my own children to give love or feel loved. Peace.

[@leeosborn4641]

@@apeskatt I respect everyone's right to choose.....rightly or wrongly. On such an important issue though I do not respect intellectual dishonesty and manufactured, fudgy double-speak, like "otherhood" and "child-free", designed to cloud and obfuscate.....and artificially make the choice appear more attractive to the reader and listener than it otherwise might appear. Peace.

[@apeskatt]

@leeosborn I‘m 35 year old woman, with no children, and I 100% feel more childfree than childless. So that’s the right word for me to use :)

[@TheRealDannAlexander]

I wrote a book "Planned UnParenthood - Creating a Life Without Procreating. Wonderful talks like these just prove further that women are the main target of constant questions about having kids. More voices are speaking out and it's a delight to hear and read them all.

[@vimbayikajese2336]

Ooo let me look it up

[@TheRealDannAlexander]

@@vimbayikajese2336 thank you. 🍀

[@tmajuru559]

Two Zimbos🇿🇼🇿🇼 are going to look up the same book? Aaaah..ma one.😂😂

[@solointheburbs]

38 and child free by choice.

[@kotare86]

🙌🏻🙌🏻🙌🏻🙌🏻🙌🏻

[@harpsailorharp6716gg]

45 and a half... no kids ... no stress ... xx happy xx

[@malissahyatt2425]

I hit menopause at 38. Happy dances ensued!!!!!!!!!!

[@tmajuru559]

Go play in traffic.

[@doctorwholover1012]

"Do you have any kids?" "Nah I'm good, I'm actually allergic so" 😂

[@veroniquecastel9582]

“Oops, I forgot to, too busy have a fun life” 😋

[@Chaitogether]

Me: I care about my mental health.

[@MINUTEMIDNIGHT]

If this isn't the best comeback ever... Thx for the idea haha

[@Meryamum]

I laughed a lot at this comment because it's exactly what my sister says after having 2 kids and not very happy now 😂

[@tmajuru559]

Fantastic 😂😂 "A severe allergy. I might go into serious shock if exposed to even the tiniest trace elements of 'child' so..."

[@lady_sinister6390]

Thank you so much for this! As a 20 year old I knew from age 11 I would never have children at mainly because I lost so much of my childhood to take care of my younger siblings so I associate kids with no fun and since then I knew kids were not for me. My lifestyle includes long trips, peaceful days at the beach and many haunted houses and I may be selfish but I will not ruin the rest of my life. I am currently searching for a doctor who will remove my tubes so no accidents happen.

[@rosemarytoews5439]

I knew at 13 I was not going to be a mini-me of my mother..being the 6th of 9 kids, 3rd daughter, life was babysitting, cooking, cleaning while listening to her resentment and being caught up in a parents griping marriage. Yes there were good times but I just did not want to be anything like her. (2 of my 3 sisters are childfree as well)

[@AN-zz8ps]

you aren't being selfish at all if you don't want kids and don't have them it doesn't hurt anyone

[@veroniquecastel9582]

ϯLady_ Sinisterϯ Dr Judith Fleming removed my tubes; no lecture, no drama, and free too! I am in Melbourne, Australia. If you are too, search for her details on Google. Ask for a Salpingectomy. That’s what I had done, and it was the best day of my life! All the best to you :-)

[@momosnainggolan4468]

Me too. You have the same reason like mine. I am parentifid children, it means i was unintentionally forced to be a parent since i was 8 years old. It was traumatizing till to this day. The parentification makes me not to wanting children in my life. I want to heal oneday

[@nomzamojoyisa]

@@momosnainggolan4468 totally agree

[@Nicoleiia]

I'm childfree and happy also. I like men, but I don't like them enough for them to saddle me with a whole bunch of children. Why build a prison for myself when I can be free?

[@seastorm9548]

For people who don't want children being a parent is like life imprisonment

[@Christina_320]

Children are SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO annoying !!!!!!!!! OK?!

[@karthik9t0]

Don't forget u were also annoying when u were a child too

[@Christina_320]

karthik9t0 LOL that’s exactly my point!

[@karthik9t0]

@@Christina_320 but the society will put pressure to get married n kids ,

[@Christina_320]

karthik9t0 Um ok ... and? Who gives a care what society does. LOL

[@happywanderer2874]

Bingo! My sentiments exactly.

[@victoriasmith542]

Yay!! *Applause Applause!!* Sometimes it feels like to society you don't really matter unless you have children and that is so sad. We are people too, we do matter! And many of us who choose to be childfree do it because we want to be able to contribute to our communities and society.

[@idontcarei]

being parent is not a contribution to modern society (we already hv more than enough people )

[@tinalion17]

I challenge anyone who could give me an intelligent reason to have children? Why would you create more suffering?

[@tinalion17]

Harold Potter that's the idea the world would be better off without people. People that murder each other. People that abuse everything: pollution, wars, killing animals just for sport, we take are parents and put them in nursing homes, have children and put them in daycare? The world would probably be a beautiful place if there were no people in it.

[@skylinefever]

People will reply by asking you "And what if my child become a criminal instead?"

[@skylinefever]

People will reply by asking you "And what if my child become a criminal instead?"

[@pablpfanque]

There is no reason. Like with all the jobs the natives don't want to do, let the immigrants do it. They're happy to have their children inherit the legacy your ancestors fought and struggled for.

[@tinalion17]

Frida Nyberg Please help me, if you can find away to do it without pain, ley me know! The number 1 reason more people don't do it is because they along with me are cowards. It takes guts and courage to stop this pain. Just today at tge very least 62 are dead in las vegas. But people don't care and they think it will never ever happen to them. I hope it doesn't. People only really care if it effects. That is the bold truth. Very sad world.

[@bibob9951]

I am a Nigerian man who has never wanted to have children. Imagine the drama from my fellow Nigerians and family

[@libertinemercenary8421]

As an indian man it surely cannot be worse than mine. I actually relocated to another part of the country just to get away from all that chaos.

[@scipion34]

Society will try to make you conform. Don't.

[@Jove1611]

My mother beats me when I say I don't want children.

[@deedee3287]

Omg as a Nigerian woman it’s even more difficult 😞

[@thenunujournals]

I think the most annoying part is that people assume that we don't know what we want. They always say that we will change our minds.. I knew I didn't want children since I was 22, I am now 33 and haven't changed my mind for a second. If anything, I am more grateful than ever for my decision!

[@crimsonskiss]

I feel that having children today is a sociopathic act. why would I bring a beautiful helpless baby into an inhumane world. with all of the technical advancements we should have had these talks years ago, since we're so "evolved".

[@theultimatereductionist7592]

Well said, Erin Nelson! Breeder apologists are shitheads who cannot comprehend causation.

[@MrDeviousdom]

I feel that in modern society, children are simply an appliance that temporarily satisfies ones selfish desires to have a "human pet".

[@MrDeviousdom]

@Bethany Rentfro no, being selfish does not make you a bad person, just selfish. Your act of procreation was based on your DESIRE to have a child.

[@ohwellwhateverr]

@Bethany Rentfro It is and it isn't. On one hand, having a child has the potential to consume your life and identity if you let it. Some people let parenthood define their entire being, and that kind of selflessness is deeply unhealthy. But parenthood can also be selfish. So many people here are talking about "having a legacy", "being remembered after I die", "passing on my genes", "leaving my mark on the world", "keeping me company at Christmas and Thanksgiving", "looking after me when I'm old". Those are all selfish reasons to have a child. Sadly, some people look at kids like they're an unpaid labour force built in their own image.

[@AN-zz8ps]

I TOTALLY agree! this world sadly IS inhumane I wish it wasn't but it TOTALLY is! I will never have a kid for that reason among others.

[@Santiagola24]

There's no shame in being childless. Just an option

[@grattata4364]

Exactly. The sad thing is that there are so many idiots that belittle and harass people who choose to don't.

[@Santiagola24]

And i was several times asked If i had children lol

[@veroniquecastel9582]

I am not childless, I am ChildFree; I am free from the burden of baby making chores. :-)

[@African_Childfree_millennials]

its a choice

[@paulescapades]

Child free man here ,no regrets

[@youawesome2068]

You probably also think teens and young adults still using bounce houses is okay.,.

[@monsterstackwizard9313]

Yeah man, chug those Starbucks lattes, you don't need kids You just need those urban apartments as the future of modern housing as opposed to single family homes in the suburbs or a house in the country right?

[@chuusenberg519]

@@monsterstackwizard9313what could this possibly mean 😂

[@tmajuru559]

You sound postively unhinged. The child free would NEVER drink Starbucks. We have the full length Ethiopian coffee making ceremony from start to finish ofc. And we sip, we do not chug because we're never in a rush and it's never a school night. And when we're done, we laugh at low to middle income families and plot for ways to afford homes on a single albeit ample income because no family responsibilities. 😈

[@patricksaxon3983]

I am 55 years old, never married and never had the desire for children and I am a professional musician, no regrets of not having children or had any desire to have children. I am a man, I could careless.

[@iheartart0827]

good for you!

[@miladiyahbariqoh9118]

" When in teenager having a serious relationship, people afraid that i'm getting pregnant. But when i'm in late 30's people afraid that i will not getting pregnant" Gosh why people don't mind their own business...

[@arielchang618]

This is one of the most profound and educated information regarding what childfree is! I wish people in general could learn from this talk!

[@vickimcleod4822]

@hahahaha - I have no cats. Catless by Choice, also.

[@seastorm9548]

@hahahaha Whats wrong with owning pets? You say that like it's a bad thing

[@AuthorityCat]

Childfree since I was 19. That's when I got my vasectomy. I will never regret that decision. This is an important subject that not enough people are talking about. For you info, i am very happy. I have been with my spouse for going on 5 years and we could not be happier. Wanted to note that, while you do mention that only women are asked if they have kids in public, it is ultimately a decision made by two people. I have all the respect in the world for people who adopt. Giving birth to a child is the thing I can't agree with. So, basically, there is just a much weight on men when it comes to that decision as their is for women. My father, for one, has basically disowned me because of my decision.

[@Clintsessentials]

Agree

[@deathwolfs69]

Nah I'd never ask a guy if he has kids

[@veroniquecastel9582]

I’ve had a Salpingectomy! :-) And boo to your father... but glad you have a loving, like minded life partner :-) all the best to you.

[@eeaotly]

So your father rejects you, you, a born child, HIS BORN child, because you reject the IDEA of having your own children. Sorry, but your father has problems with logic.

[@pinkpinkpink7717]

Changing litebulbs

[@richardseifried7574]

I am an 82 year old man, childless by choice, and never regretted it. Occasionally I am asked if I have children. My reply is usually: No, I'm childless by choice, or I have given the gift of space for others; it is the most precious gift you can give to an overpopulated, resource depleted planet. I am thanked for this gift by having to pay an extra $2000 per year in federal income tax for the one replacement in quantity child I didn't have.

[@somethingyousaid5059]

Someone who is willing to bring a child into this world is someone who is grossly underestimating the sheer magnitude of the existential trauma that he or she is forcing on another human being. No one can rationally justify forcing that trauma on another human being.

[@plastic0o]

yeah, noone asks you if you want to be born into this world

[@jenniferr9624]

👍

[@annas4191]

this

[@mollypinto4666]

Loved this talk. Amazing and oh so true. I'm a 63 year woman. A mother and grandmother. But respect applaud and encourage young woman towards self empowerment. We're certainly not at the brink of extinction. Quiet on the contrary. I write poetry and written a few works on this very topic as well. Thank you again 💓

[@niltomega2978]

You just go along to get along don't you?

[@mollypinto4666]

@@niltomega2978 Absolutely. A force to reckon 💗

[@niltomega2978]

@@mollypinto4666 lol... 👍

[@chuusenberg519]

@@niltomega2978she’s speaking hee truth

[@amydamjanovic9183]

Do I think about what my life would have been like if I’d had children? Yes, and I would be incredibly miserable if I’d had them.

[@NainaSarma-lt4wm]

I want to be childfree..I'm an Indian and in India being a mother is the most important job...My mom was shocked when I revealed this decision to her..And my sister taunts me for having such a choice..But I don't understand those who want to be childfree never ask any couple who want to have children that why are you having children..But we those who want to be childfree always have to face questions and humilations..But I will not change my decision of being childfree, and if I have to fight for it I will and if because of this decision I will have to remain unmarried for the rest of my life I will but I will not change my decision..Because the society needs to understand we all have choices and we should respect everyone's choice

[@kcuflaerehte8994]

😂 brahmins are a defeated community, will be off of the face of this planet in no time

[@nullinlack585]

Finally , a smart Indian girl ❤❤❤

[@NainaSarma-lt4wm]

@@nullinlack585 Thank u so much..Atleast we are a few people who will support each other in this case no matter what

[@DMRoper1]

Otherhood! I love it. Now I have a new word to round out my answer to the impertinent questions about my childlessness. I chose Otherhood. It describes my choice perfectly. Thank you for sharing this, Vicki.

[@vickimcleod4822]

my pleasure! Thank you for watching :)

[@tmajuru559]

Wow! It's you! You're so awesome! Thanks for this video!

[@trevagraham1605]

Whether you are childless by choice or not the important thing to remember is that you're childless so enjoy it!

[@vickimcleod4822]

YES! I think in a way, this is the point - it takes courage and spiritual warriorship to live with what we are given.

[@veroniquecastel9582]

I am ChildFree! :-)

[@MarySanchez-qk3hp]

There are other ways to express one's nurturing nature besides being a parent.

[@veroniquecastel9582]

Mary Sanchez I nurture my art making and my cello, and my plants :-)

[@trishg4324]

Very true! I just think it makes others uncomfortable when they come across people & especially women who do not have children.

[@harpsailorharp6716gg]

Not many women realise the true implications about having a kid ... its 18 years and then some .... 18 years of losing yourself ... sleepless nights ...worry ...stress... lack of money ... constant compromise.... glad I am childfree through choice at 45 and a half xxx

[@tinalion17]

Next time someone says this (why don't you have children)! I'm just going to say why would I bring a beautiful helpless baby into an inhumane world.

[@billo786]

simba tv I agree

[@CsaszarMusik]

this world makes you sick.. how do you know they will be better? most parents aren't ''better people''

[@ruya789]

@SummerTokken Adopt or become a foster parent. There are millions of kids already here needing to be "better people"

[@AN-zz8ps]

that is a GREAT response!

[@robertmorrison1657]

Inhumane world? The world we live in does have its flaws, however it is not so bad that it can be the only reason to not have kids. If this world is so bad, how about you try to fix it?

[@electro1889]

40 , I have no kids... I just got projected on by someone questioning my choice..again.. so I came here, I feel better now :)

[@sheli4239]

People are pitying your mistake, truly a mistake unless there is something wrong with you.

[@kimberlyh.5023]

You're 40. It's time to start flaunting your decision with pride in people's faces. You're free, you don't have children. Enjoy it, and let other people know you enjoy it. Start being flamboyant about it.

[@doctordarcy8385]

I'm 40, and don't have children either. By choice. :) I have also been with my husband for the last 20 years. I would have been PISSED if I had to raise children.

[@veroniquecastel9582]

Your life and your choices is valid! Celebrate your freedom and ignore the haters. They are jealous because they’re burdened with children, perhaps? Either way, enjoy your life. :-)

[@CatEyedGoddess]

I am not childless by choice. I wanted children. I don't really place value in age. As I know a fair amount of women in their early 40s who got pregnant naturally because they thought they couldn't and stop using bc pills. Anyway, finding a man that I loved and who loved me proved to be elusive. Life just said marriage and children will not happen to you. After depression and feeling like I lost out. I came to term with the fact that this is the hand that I have been dealt. I have learned to enjoy my life as is. I still date, hang out and do what I want when I want. I have found a pleasure in bucking society's expectation of who I am suppose to be because I am a women. It's somewhat liberating not having that responsibility.

[@vickimcleod4822]

This is powerful story and demonstrates true spiritual warriorship - “enjoy my life as it is” is staking powerful claim to live in dignity with who you are. Inspiring.

[@MidnightSonnet]

You can still adopt if you really want kids. There are so many kids stuck in the system that needs loving homes.

[@caitlinweiss8801]

7 years ago on my first date I laid everything out on the table: "Do you want kids?" No, maybe I'd be a foster parent. "Is marriage important to you?" Not really, it doesn't define a relationship. We are still unmarried, childless, and happy together.

[@kwijebo]

First they bring us into this bs world, then they act as if they did us a favor, illogical breeders

[@ohno7153]

@@kwijebo What? You don’t appreciate being brought into a dying world against your will?

[@kwijebo]

@@ohno7153 r u an atinatalist? (lets skip mambo jambo sarcasms)

[@turquoiseturquoiseturquois1174]

I LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOVE STOPPING AT STOP SIGNS SOOOOOOOO MUCH!!!

[@jonblaze32]

I didn't have kids and love my life. I can't imagine adding the responsibility of a child into what I have.

[@jennygao826]

Honestly, having women pressured to having kids as a default to their "life purpose" is such a waste. Women can be good moms yes, if they choose that willingly, but they should reflect on what else they can contribute to the world that is in a crisis mode in terms of the lovelessness of how it operates. Could women serve in other ways that bring more love and thoughtfulness to the world at large? To millions of starving children? To millions of people enslaved under our economic system? To the earth we depend on that is being destroyed by our cruelty ? What we need more than ever is more women to be leaders. Not saying men can't do this, but we need more women as they can offer something different.

[@pianoplants7884]

Jenny Gao THIS! Child free women still experience the love of family or solitude as they wish, because we have the world as our home. There are so many changes to make for good that one can make while not reproducing biologically. Be well everyone!

[@rosep5502]

I'm 26, been married since I was 21 and now all the questions are coming about children. It feels constant. What people don't know is we did try early on and didn't get pregnant. We have since realised we really don't want children. There are so many things we want to do in life and children don't fit into these plans. My husband doesn't get asked about children, however my parents, MIL, and colleagues constantly ask me and say 'you don't want to wait too long' etc. Really fed up of my uterus being the topic of conversation. The only person who knows we don't want children and supports it is my father in law. He is supportive of whichever choice we make and acknowledges that he found raising children very stressful and it isn't for everyone.

[@glaptoper]

Have you told anyone besides your father in law that you don't plan on having kids? It's hard to deal with all of those needless comments so hopefully it would put them straight on the matter. Then, if they still don't get the picture, they'll learn soon enough when they don't have a baby to gush over. Also, I'm sorry to hear this. It's sad how often women are stripped of all humanity and desires, just to their reproductive organs. Whatever choice you make, be sure it is yours and yours alone.

[@libertysprings2244]

We married at 20 and had 10 yrs infertility. People mean well but I got so sick of friends and family saying "just relax". So annoying. We adopted 2 girls and had a 3rd in our 40s naturally. My 20s were awful. Life gets better as you age.

[@llamalover02]

When my husband and I moved into our house, we went over to meet our neighbors. The wife was very eager to visit with me while the dudes talked. She asked where my kids were. "I don't have any." She asked when I expect to have my fist baby, immediately followed by how many I'm wanting to have total. "I'm not having any children." The amount of sheer disgust on her face is something I'll never forget. She walked away and she hasn't spoken to me since. Thanks for saving me the trouble, lady! 😂

[@LucareonVee]

Good that she’s staying away instead of harassing you.

[@niltomega2978]

Sounds like a BS story. People don't care if you don't have kids.

[@LucareonVee]

@@niltomega2978 Plenty of people seem to care quite a bit. Especially when given a platform to express how much they do care.

[@niltomega2978]

@LucareonVee I agree. When given a platform people find more to gripe about

[@LucareonVee]

@@niltomega2978 So it’s not so far fetched that a story like this is true.

[@annas4191]

i love quiet and sleep. i also love helping people but also having some alone time. so it'll probably be a no for me. love how many others are speaking up about it too! much love

[@MrsSlocombesPuddyCat]

.... I am 50 and childless by choice. I made my decision at 14, and have never regretted my decision. Quite funny (and annoying) to have condescending parents pitying me. My husband has hardly ever been asked such the same question.....This talk is excellent as she is very articulate

[@Personligapersson]

When I was 35 something I decided that I wasn't going to have children. I had stress related health problems and I new I couldn't give children the attention they deserve. There are so many ways to have a fulfilling life. I love having time to read,write, paint etc. And at the time several of my female friends said that although they loved their children they weren't sure they would do it again.

[@MissNandita]

If a woman says she does not want to have children, she does not have to explain her choice any more than a woman who chooses to have children.

[@nullinlack585]

Completely right 👍, this is very important

[@Sunshinegardens55]

Having a kid is so hard, I really wanted to be a childless person. But I do have one, and that's all I will ever have..kids ruin you're body and cost to much..

[@kelliea7451]

Shawnice Lawrence its true!! Mothers always say "its the greatest thing I've ever done!" and "my life didn't start until I became a mother." However, its not all perfect and beautiful. There's no shame in being honest about the hardships. Of course you love your child but its so hard. Its ok to say it. Thank you for being brave and telling your truth in a world that shames honest moms.

[@theirishfairy6281]

Your so right! It totally ruins your body!!

[@veroniquecastel9582]

I am ChildFree, I love it! I appreciate your honesty and I hope you have support. :-)

[@annalisereinhardttime-base4524]

I find Vicki's talk really supportive and empowering. Nearly 39 and child-free. Lots of feelings. The voice for other perspectives on this particular subject are so important and worth amplifying.

[@rebeccajohansson6412]

I always get the "you will change your mind when you are older" speech when I mention I don't want children, however, it is when I mention I don't want to get married or even have a boyfriend that they get really shocked and look at me with pity. I know I am definitely not alone in not wanting children but finding people that understand that feeling of not even wanting to be in a relationship is a bit more difficult.

[@iheartart0827]

same. i don't want to get a partner either lmao. and if ppl were to try to give me the "pity" look, i wouldn't hesitate to be rude to them, like, "i don't need your pity, so stop it with that pathetic look and mind your own business."

[@xuerui]

I'm actually a bit jealous because I often get caught in the mindset that I'll finally be 'happy' when I find my romantic soulmate. When in reality, happiness is so much more about being at peace with yourself and doing what makes you passionate. I think being aromantic has a lot of benefits in this regard because you can completely focus on improving your life as an individual. But of course both ways of life are valid - I hope more people will come to accept aromantics and the idea of living life w/o a romantic partner in general.

[@carrie8541]

I have nothing against children. i would never harm a child, if i saw one in need i would try and help 4sure, but its really not my thing. Kids are annoying and noisy and command your full attention at all times and your life becomes them. Sorry not interested. Not to mention expensive and bringing them into an enslaved world. Nothing makes be run away as fast as i can in the opposite direction that someone's screaming, freshly downloaded scion, having a temper tantrum. Just leaves me cold.

[@skeletoninyourbody9896]

I simply don't want any. I am still a kid, 18 yrs old and still get people to torture my mind with this question. I never get questions as "whats your hobby" or "whats your favorite type of music/art/games etc" but I get "Do you want kids". No, I don't. I simply don't. The end, finito. And when they question why as no isn't enough, that's when I get frustrated. There's MANY reasons, one is that I just don't want to ruin a body I am working so hard to achieve. And the most important is, I want an art career. Art is a craft that takes dedication, responsibility, time, freedom, to be done. When they say " Oh well many concept artist have children" but many of them are males, having a woman taking care of those... I am not male as you can see. Plus, when I have a talk with my boyfriend and apparently "he doesn't want any"... But then when I say no, he has to ask as there's deeper meaning, as I didn't explain many times why... Then I get upset because he is ignoring my NO, and usually he asks me why am I saying many reasons why not when he didn't ask but he literally did ask with " tell me why"

[@sarahmcqueenie]

If someone would birth a child for me, feed it, get up for it in the night, change its nappy, pay for everything and worry about it, then I might consider motherhood. But seriously, I am so fed up of mothers who look at me as if I were a moron for not being maternal. They all say “you’ll change your mind when you meet the one” with a knowing, smug look. “No lady, if I find the one, I’ll want a peaceful, quiet, child free life with him, thanks”- some people do NOT WANT children. End of... I wish people would respect our right to not want children as much as we respect their right to want children.

[@bobmarker6812]

When I was 17, I knew a few people in their 40's that never had kid's. They had a great life. I knew then it was a no brainer. Never changed my mind. Now @ 58, happier than ever. A lot of 50 something's are giving their 30 something kid's money and/or raising their grandkid's.

[@promoteroflibertyfromgloba8225]

bob marker You’re just one person, but if childlessness and decadence becomes the norm, society would fall.

[@beans9298]

I prefer the word childfree. Very happy being childfree, my life is mine!

[@user-rm1lm3rt7e]

im thinking about it maybe ill adopt but having children seems wasteful to me.

[@vickimcleod4822]

We live in an age of options and choice, best of luck as you travel your journey...

[@LaZaritasjourney]

Wasteful? Anna Theamazing, can you elaborate on having children is wasteful? Oppose to adopting if you don't mind. Thnx! I've never heard this term. I'm childless also, however it was due to religious fear input in me. Even though it was a choice to be childless, I was not choosing to be. I didn't know. So, it really wasn't, because I was emotional enslaved. I didn't know myself. I lived lost within myself. I lived a fearful life do to religion. I am 57 years young. And, I am still healing! Healing my mind of all the brainwashed by all the lies! My healing started eight years ago. Of renewing my mind! Thx for sharing!

[@user-rm1lm3rt7e]

HappyTimesVan I just feel like the child u adopt already exist and is a human that needs to be cared for as opposed to bringing a child in to the world and adding to the over all amount of ppl in the world consuming resources and further straining the environment either way i would love my child but the earth is quickly approaching the cap for the amount of ppl it can support and having excessive amounts of children to me seems a bit selfish but I'm still young myself and this is a opinion that could change I have nothing against ppl who decide to have children it just isn't really for me

[@LaZaritasjourney]

anna Theamazing, thanx for your input. I understand your thought. I also respect your feelings. Thnx for your honesty. And, yes, you are still young and can choose to change your thoughts in the future. Whatever you choose you are respected as a female. Thnx for sharing!

[@yukkimooky3941]

I agree that there are enough humans who need help and that it is better to care for the humans who already exist than to mindlessly procreate like animals.

[@RC093]

While my friends and family members who have kids are stuck at home with their annoying kids..my wife and I can go on vacation whenever we want. Freedom is a blessing! I don't want kids and never will and no I will not change my mind because I will never be a kid person, ever.

[@amandar614]

I totally respect and understand why women would want to be child free! I have one child, and while I am so thankful I have her, it is alot of work! She was very wanted by my husband and I , but I did not understand fully the amount of sacrifices that I would have to make at the time I was trying to concieve her. It does get easier, however, as the years go by ; and I'm thankful we get to enjoy life with her now. ( mind you she was an easy baby, healthy, and easy child to teach). People often ask me why I dont have a second child. I tell them I rolled the dice once and thankfully hit the jackpot...why would I need to roll again? I understand women not wanting to roll the dice at all. There are many risks, "what ifs", and alot of work involved until you can get the child to a point of semi independence. So I will say it was worth it for my ONE child, but no way would I have been happy with more! Women will be judged no matter what they decide for themselves...so just do what makes you happiest!

[@defiantlypinki1107]

I’m 27 years old, choosing to remain childfree forever and as of right now, opt out of dating. I’ve been dealing/recovering from mental illness for over 13 years. Now that I’m doing better, I want to focus on myself; not sacrifice my body, time, mind, money and career for a man and children.

[@Jonnyicey]

so you think getting old without family is going to improve your mental stability?

[@purpleelixir]

​@Jonnyicey family can be cousins, siblings, uncles, and aunts. Oh, and many people have friends!! ^^

[@laurakennedy1024]

I met a woman once at a dinner party, she asked if I was going to have kids, when I said no, she replied "I dont judge you". I thought that so strange and judgemental. I wanted to reply (but didnt), " I dont judge you for having one."

[@sunaina15]

Maybe she wasn’t judging you and was implying that she understands we live in a world that may... but she is consciously choosing not too? Just a thought

[@JustanotherYoutuber771]

Maybe it was a sarcastic comment meant to convey that she, as a mom, understands how stressful it is to have children so she doesn’t blame you for choosing not to do it?

[@Sealust50]

Child-less, No. CHILD-FREE, YES!!! HALLELUJAH! Welcome to the Land of Freedom!!!