7 Ways D&D Players Destroy Their DM's Plans

Dicebreaker host and D&D Oxventure Dungeon Master Johnny Chiodini brings you the seven ways every DM will get derailed by their players -- and how to avoid it.
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[@Tabbyclaw]

Entry #1: Assume your players are dumber than you think. Entry #2: Be prepared for when your players are smarter than you think.

[@biznessman5632]

There idiots, or galaxy brain, there is no middle ground.

[@gdesign95]

Entry #3: Make no solid plans for those are fragile things which players love to watch shatter. Entry #4: Nothing is irrelevant to a player the name of that random man they stopped to ask for the nearest tavern is going to become important somehow. Entry #5: There is no such thing as Foolproof for nature will always make a fool out of those who think they have made something such. Entry #6: Rock Bottom is the point when a normal person stops, a player finds a pickaxe and keeps digging. Entry #7: Just when you think you can't be surprised by their antics your players' MO will change and result in entirely new surprises. just a few more entries from my own experience

[@the11382]

gdesign95 For characters: use a random table.

[@duskblade1119]

@@biznessman5632 And those two aren't mutually exclusive. It can flip from moment to moment.

[@biznessman5632]

@@duskblade1119 oh yeah that's what I meant one moment they're investigating the wrong Npc and a half hr later they already cracked every puzzle in your dungeon

[@Not_An_EV]

My DM friend once summed it up by saying "Give them a door and they'll jump through the window"

[@marhawkman303]

@WoodPileDenmark then they dig a hole in the floor. :p

[@fryax6721]

@@marhawkman303 they materialize through the walls

[@sirken2]

Hey man doors are hard

[@Not_An_EV]

@@sirken2 tell me about it! In our first ever session and my first ever actual game of DnD our biggest adversary was doors! We must have mowed down about 15 till we came across one we couldn't!

[@JulianCommodus]

Especially if the party you're DMing for is Vox Machina.

[@lorc.251]

I’m playing my first ever campaign and so far we’ve adopted a platypus and made it our mascot, spent a full thirty minutes figuring out if dwarves float, completely derailed our DM by not killing a ship full of pirates and instead convincing them that they needed a vacation, and spent too long shopping for hats. I’m having the time of my life!

[@thekaxmax]

that's /exactly/ how it's supposed to go

[@manypseudonyms]

You think you adopted that platypus. but put a hat on it and...

[@scythescythe884]

@@manypseudonyms PERRY THE PLATIPUS?!

[@yamiatemyugi]

That exactly why I love Role playing of any kind. You have so much fun.

[@SolStains]

Sounds great😊👌🏻

[@ardemus]

"Without hurting or disadvantaging anyone why don't you..." The next day, "Alright skeletons, how is it going?" "Orphan walls done." "Orphan walls? You mean orphanage?" "Orphan bones make good mortar, orphan walls." "I said not to hurt anyone!" The featureless bone face managed to convey a sense of accomplishment, "Broke neck, fast death, no pain." "Oh, for... Surely death is a disadvantage?" "Skeletons very dead, not so bad."

[@orthusgames9888]

That would've been hilarious

[@premiumheadpats4150]

That would've been a pretty clever spin to put on it.

[@BogeyTheBear]

"I promised Yondu I wouldn't hurt them. I kept my word-- they didn't feel a thing..."

[@aubreyhuff46]

Thats fucking amazing

[@Kas_Styles]

And thats why I always make a very detailed, direct list of anyone I am debating with irl. Clear communication is key.

[@kevanmcentee2174]

The 8th way players destroy a DM's plans: answering "Yes" when asked "Are you sure?"

[@marhawkman303]

I've seen some DMs do that to be funny.

[@jerrybaker9855]

my first session i had my 20 int c/n doppelganger got spotted and was like i kill the girl and im like you have 20 int 20 cha and this is your plan

[@marhawkman303]

@@jerrybaker9855 IE someone who statistically sucks at murderhoboing abruptly decided to murderhobo?

[@jerrybaker9855]

@@marhawkman303 no it was the first time he had played and i had to explain to him a this would be an evil thing to do and b he has an intelct and chrisma that is supper human it was also a fluf session so i couldnt let him just do it and i was like listen you can talk your self out of this your stupid smart just use your words

[@marhawkman303]

@@jerrybaker9855 haha, that's kinda funny yeah. :D

[@hindumuninc]

Players: "What's your name, mister random NPC?" DM: screams inside.

[@TotallyCluelessGamer]

I once had a town guard named "Fuck" because the players heard me say it under my breath when they asked for his name.

[@JonahPleatherbooth]

Had this happen to me last gane I ran Whats your name? uhhhhh..... John *looks around room* keurig

[@hindumuninc]

I seem to remember an episode of critical role where Matt Mercer has a small breakddown when Marisha asks an NPC for their name. He starts mumbling something and flipping pages amd says: "You don't remember the names I DO give you..." And finally blurts out a name. I had just started DMing and it was like "I now understand your pain..."

[@marhawkman303]

@@hindumuninc player or otherwise I'd probably have a notebook to write down that stuff.

[@arfived4]

The first time this happened, yeah, but now - I literally love riffing this shit. I've just had my party look for a missing child, and they've had to interview half a village, most of whom I had almost no notes for.

[@nightfall598]

*as there’s wolves chasing us* My dad: I have oil, I need a match. My brother: *throws him the oil* My dad: Throws the oil on the wolves then a lit match. Me, a first time DM: You haven’t used your weapons once it’s been four hours.

[@christina_1313]

Reminds me of the time our group used a flour explosion to kill some undead monsters. Why use regular weapons if improvising is so much cooler!

[@Mortismors]

Blowing up cabins works wonders too

[@justsomedude4547]

Why do I think they got this idea from goblin slayer

[@BT0867]

Who ever goes before our sorcerer always has to throw oil on the monsters so when the sorcerer shoots fireball it basically makes a massive explosion and can kill literally any monster

[@zuralani1]

In the first 10 minutes of my very first game we were ambushed by some goblins coming out of the forest next to the road. It was supposed to be a little warm up battle to make sure we knew how combat worked. After seeing that there were goblins shooting at us from in the trees, I cast burning hands on the forest edge, effectively ending the fight by cutting off their line of sight and path to us.

[@blahaj420]

“we are convinced this rat is in on it” yep sounds like the average dnd player

[@KaladinVegapunk]

Seems like almost every one of these instances was Luke causing the shenanigans besides that one haha

[@MonikaLockpick]

Alternative title: Things Johnny hasn‘t quite forgiven the oxventurers

[@zevo9314]

7 ways the oxventurers derailed a combat encounter

[@wierdalien1]

@@zevo9314 not quite but pretty muxh

[@CantankerousDave]

New series of slasher movies, "I Know What You Did Last Campaign".

[@n30nrabbit95]

@@CantankerousDave It's just the DM slaughtering all the players that ruined his plans and his catch phrase would prolly be "Roll a (blank insert whatever) check" but proceed to murder them anyway

[@maxmueller4576]

wow doesnt that sorta mean that the loophole skeleton episode including dobs orphan kill count was johnnys revenge for the bad chair day? he even said "you have to be specific" several times. pretty dark if so, just saying

[@WebofHope]

D&D is not: "The Players vs the DM." Not ever. It is *Always*: "The Players *AND* the DM... ...vs the Dice."

[@nebs6888]

Yup

[@phylion6067]

The players vs the DM implies the DM has power, no one likes playing under those DMs that treat their thing as absolute. It's more the players ganging up on the DM who's questioning life choices and wants to go home early

[@VTimmoni]

Precisely

[@calliopeirwin712]

where does that leave the dicemaker?

[@pseudolemon8272]

I disagree. The DM makes the decisions, not the dice. They're there to add the idea of suspense and unpredictability for players, but the DM should always consider where they want to lean their group to have the best time whenever they're about to accept a dice roll as a decision.

[@Cendar]

I've learned one thing as a dm, when you give a npc an interesting backstory, they'll side line them. One off npcs with one purpose, heck some random person off the street and you're players will demand to make them into honorary family members.

[@TessaOswin]

I think having a few backstories in a pile. If a character isn’t used you can put in the pile and pull it out when they pick someone off the street.

[@DiceandDungeons]

So true!

[@SirLightfire]

​@@TessaOswinand the same thing with encounters / story beats Of course, that makes cohesion a bit more difficult, I'd imagine

[@plotholedetective4166]

My current dm made this mistake by having a wizard gnome with access to a pocket dimension of genies that do nothing but make food. Now my cleric has a cookie store chain that has magic cookies and cookies with magic spells in them like fortune cookies.

[@yamiatemyugi]

I can just imagine there being a situation where one of them goes "Should we use the Meat Grinder" and the enemies are INCREDIBLY confused as to why their suddenly all giggling

[@BogeyTheBear]

Honest to goodness-- we recently got from them something to the tune of "We have ways of making you talk. Take him--- _to the tickle pit._ "

[@yamiatemyugi]

@@BogeyTheBear tickle pit?

[@BogeyTheBear]

Thirty minutes into the second episode of "Silent Knight"

[@ECODKyleskymast]

@@BogeyTheBear The tickle pit sounds like something that would get you on a list.

[@DrPotatoPerson]

Without disadvantaging anyone, rebuild the orphanage. Skeletons: stand around doing nothing because it disadvantages them to do manual labor.

[@fischaventine8313]

You solved it...

[@cookeymonster83]

Yep this is what I instantly thought of as the solution too.

[@tychogoedhart286]

If that'd happen to me I'd go "well then, Without disadvantaging anyone *other than yourselves*, rebuild the orphanage using only building materials that can be acquired via the processing of various types of stone or the logging of trees"

[@fischaventine8313]

tycho goedhart Very detailed

[@cassidywise6838]

tycho goedhart Then the skeletons would cut down ancient redwoods or something. =P

[@davidstepanek6107]

"I'm only 14 years old!" This videos off to a great start

[@kmmmm150]

David Stepanek such a good joke

[@myhandsdealaciddamage3189]

First time I’ve seen this guy on this channel & he’s already my favourite.

[@zuralani1]

FBI, open up

[@rtg5881]

@@zuralani1 Send your request to my mailbox, were sharing an intimate moment here.

[@rtg5881]

@@squaregoldfish i dont know the law regarding that everywhere nor do i know where he got it. Parental consent is a factor most places though they may still have an absolute minimum.

[@zubetube7111]

So, in my first campaign, I ruined my DM's plans by IMMEDIATELY breaking the law. While in prison, I grabbed a brick out of the wall to use as an improvised weapon, and used my massive brain (and rage) and unarmored chutzpah to beat the guard to death with it and escape. He was really unprepared for our entire campaign to exist with myself as a fugitive.

[@thekaxmax]

Put a bounty on them and allow them or their friends to pay it off. Then they'll just be carefully watched.

[@artsyscrub3226]

@@thekaxmax Did you not hear the part where op bludgeoned a guard to death?

[@Starman062]

@@artsyscrub3226 PUT A BOUNTY TO PAY OFF! At least fable taught me that. Should be only 250 gold

[@andrewl9191]

Sometimes DMs allow way too many things to happen that shouldn't.

[@connorholmes4196]

I made my DM have to rewrite an entire section of his campaign by cheesing an encounter that was supposed to kill everyone (and then get brought back) he threw an a level 10 encounter at level 1 players lol.

[@jamma.77]

14:11 I love how Ellen's the only one who's horrified by, "Orphans, boss," while everyone else just laughs.

[@jamieadams2589]

It's very on brand

[@wels2342]

@@jamieadams2589 for both in and out of game

[@jamesherb4384]

I don't know, luke looked pretty defeated because it was his fault

[@nothinmulch]

The bard seducing an NPC who was supposed to be a one note character, making them a recurring character with complex backstory

[@The7Shannons]

What's worse is when the Barbarian somehow seduces a cultist.

[@lorelei2892]

My Dragonborn barbarian in a party I’m in inspected a gnolls lower bits to see if male or female and got a nat 20 It caused our party laugh uncontrollably as our dm tried to find out how to explain what happened

[@The7Shannons]

@@lorelei2892 The clitoris of a female hyena is formed in a large phallic shape so they can dominate the males in their pack. So if Gnolls are anything the same such a check would be really hard.

[@lorelei2892]

Shannon's Head yeah but he got a nat 20 and it wasn’t me Making the roll (generally in our group hits to the nether regions of a male or the chest area of a female give a crit since getting hit there hurts like hell)

[@AJeazy]

I played a halfling bard my first ever campaign and rolled a nat 20 to convince a female dwarf that was supposed to be a boss that I was her long lost son.

[@LikeTheBuffalo]

"Maybe they're friendly?" - Me at the start of _every_ encounter

[@madalynexists7491]

The Sneezing Picture famous last words.

[@Saiko-RuRu]

Me playing Skyrim

[@Barnesofthenorth]

Hey that can work! Did that to a group of guards who were very much meant to fight us but we guilt tripped them (with enough high rolls thrown in) that they just sulkily walked off instead.

[@silentdrew7636]

Friendly Mushroom.

[@thesenate5291]

**ROLLS FOR DIPLOMACY**

[@blackhawk3975]

I remember one of my group members, the DM's husband, our druid, would use storm of of thorns to seal off a doorway and then use thorn whip to yank them through the storm of thorns, utterly shredding them and utterly covering us in what we called, "human salsa," and I was regularly used as a human shield by our rouge.

[@Hexium_Vexium]

Translation: The path to maximum carnage is *NOT* with a weapon, but with Druidism.

[@ryadinstormblessed8308]

"At first, his intentions were pure. Which I feel describes the the Oxventurers as a whole pretty well." All except for Prudence, who had had the opposite transition.

[@joshuahadams]

She’s their shoulder devil, eh? And Merrilwen’s their angel. And Dob & Egbert are the “”good idea”” fairies who visit people when they’re bored. Corazon’s the wildcard who bounces between any of those categories depending on the mood.

[@greenstatic180]

I remember that my DM once planned "Oh, yeah. I'll have them fight against a purple dragon." Now, keep in mind that this is 5e, where there are no purple dragons at all. The DM full on homebrewed a boss in. But then, during a bit of chit chat as they were approaching where the dragon would ambush them, *the tiefling was recounting during his childhood when he used to play with a purple dragon.* This was completely unprompted, it's not like he had any plans or anything. This complete non-sequitor had basically invalidated the encounter. When the dragon did eventually ambush them, he was just "Eyyy, it's my homie Vernus." Who says roleplaying can't help you avoid encounters?

[@inept6986]

That was an absolutely amazing coincidence, that must have been hilarious.

that really a good way to waste a perfectly fine -if involuntary and unaware- suggestion from a player to bind the dragon to his background. way to go, GM, try playing world of warcraft next time!

[@SirBlackjack010]

Well, a good DM would say "There are more than one purple dragon, that's not Vernus, roll for iniative."

@@SirBlackjack010 how that's good?

[@MegaZeta]

Is it somehow remarkable nowadays for DMs to cook up their own monsters? I thought the whole point of 5E's spartan publishing strategy was to provide parallel resources to customers who want to run published, official campaign tracks in the default setting and those who want room to cook up their own stuff.

[@jordanleighton6893]

“That’s my in, lets kill some children” is the most interesting quote I’ve heard in a while

[@TheAbruptdeath]

Don't forget "Where's the cat gone? I need her to call off the squids"

[@KarateKitty5000]

Really good out-of-context quote

[@brenthanley7111]

What ep was this in do you know

[@Storyman09]

Brent Hanley the cat one was in the third and final part of their second adventure, “A Spot of Bother”

[@Storyman09]

Brent Hanley i think the kill some children thing was just from this video

[@Strigulino]

The thing that strikes me about this is how honest Johnny is to the characters and the game. He could just say “no, you can’t” but instead he finds ways to say “yes” and work it in.

[@andrewl9191]

That's along the lines of the art of improv, "yes, and..." but sometimes ugh...what they're wanting to do or say they do is just too outlandish.

[@v.e.l.pianist7848]

That's what makes a good DM

[@WinterPains]

It helps that they don't usually try and do anything super outlandish.

[@blternative]

@@WinterPains Dob wanting to backflip onto every thing instead of climbing kinda pushes it

[@WinterPains]

@@blternative Hence me saying "usually"

[@snowheartsoftflake8036]

First time DMing I watched this 3 times in order to prep myself with sage advice from the master. The one peice I particularly clung to was beware of flimsy characters as I knew the girl I was going to be playing with was the kind of person to make friends with everyone she can and I didn't want to have the prison guard incident happen. So I made sure I had a name and general backstory for every single living intelligent character. Keyword "Living..." ...she ended up ignoring all of them and instead made friends with a robot I had nothing planned for!!! (It was actually really adorable and allowed for extra tension in the final boss, but still!!!)

[@vinx.9099]

better general idea: be prepared to put a character together on the spot because you WON'T be able to predict who they'll end up liking. the winged kobold who sees on of the pcs as effectively a god? pretty much ignored. the blanket that turns into a zombie hoard? befriend that shit!

[@NateTheScot]

I mean if you're going to add a robot then OBVIOUSLY someone is going to want to make friends with it xD

[@mechengr1731]

Bruh, use Star Wars naming conventions next time. Astromech type droids usually have something like R2D2 or R6. Protocol droids C3P0. Assassin droids either HK-47 or IG-88. Im blanking on the battle droids

[@navtektv]

@@mechengr1731 to make them unrelatable or uninteresting you mean? But R2 is like the main hero of the entire series.. He's the one who fixes Amidalas Nubian spaceship, he's the who fixes Anakins ship at the end of Ep 1 and helps him stop the trade federation from attacking Naboo. Saves Padme again in ep 2. Defends Anakins ship in Ep 3. Lets not forget that all important message he deliveres to Ben in order to bring about the entire events of Ep 4 not to mention the death star plans he's been carrying around. I could go on but R2 saves the day most of the time beeping and bopping around while Ani and Luke just sit there and whine half the time and their only solution to every problem is a light saber. R2 is more interesting then all of them and 3PO just ads to R2 because they are a chaotic comedic duo.

[@magnoliaeclair7822]

"Such a great antagonist..shame if the bard *seduce* them"

[@marhawkman303]

I'd force the bard to either back down or go way too far, then make a saving throw against being enthralled.

[@harrowedone974]

Just hope that they don’t try to have sex with the boss. That is hell to storytell. *H E L L*

[@jelenadjokic9843]

@@harrowedone974 I don't play D&D but I love listening to stories and shenanigans. And one time, my friend that did play, tried to, as a joke, seduce a dragon. The DM had the numbers for seduction as low as they can be and... well... Friend: Well I guess I'm f*cking the dragon /rolls sleeves up/ OUTTA MY WAY!

[@marhawkman303]

@@harrowedone974 that's what I was getting at, the Bard succeeds at seduction. Said boss drags the Bard to bed, now what? :D If the bard goes through with it they have to make a saving throw against falling under the influence of the boss. Maybe skip the details of what the boss does to them? But if the Bard chickens out then the seduction is broken and now the Bard is alone with the boss.

[@drakan4769]

@@jelenadjokic9843 So... donkey?

[@RealFeytey]

10:26 A group I played w/ once had a prison guard who we were meant to either Drug or otherwise incapacitate in order to break free from a slaver's camp. One of the more charismatic character stepped up and instead of simply coaxing him to let us go free or anything like that, they straight up convinced him that what he was doing is wrong, talked him not only out of being a slaver, but managed to get him to help with breaking all the other slaves out and killing off the other slavers. From there we convinced the DM to make a character sheet and play him for the ENTIRE REST OF THE CAMPAIGN. He was quite literally an NPC who existed for no purpose other than guarding a jail cell and we ended up making him a part of the party up until the very end of the campaign itself. Side note: This campaign was also being run as a "World building" campaign, to set up things that are to come later on since our DM wanted to make his own setting. At the end of stopping the potential cataclysm that was at the base of the campaign he made our characters into demi-gods to establish other religions in the setting he had set up, this included the slaver-turned-hero. So, in total- We coaxed a slaver guard who was meant to be a one-time NPC into helping us save the world, at which point he became a demi-god who is now a benchmark in every campaign to come in that setting as he is a widely worshiped figure by slaves hoping to attain their freedom.

[@animatrix1490]

I love D&D and this is exactly why. You got a name for this demigod? Maybe I could subtly add him to more D&D campaigns...

[@RealFeytey]

@@animatrix1490 At the time he was a kinda minor character so we didn't pay much mind to it, the DM called him "Vivci" and left any last name out assuming he was just playing a supporting role. Funny enough he never got a last name but as a prison guard he was a barbarian, though upon joining the party he began studying magic. By the time the campaign was over he had a strength of 20 and knew spells up to level 6 or so, so everyone just started calling him "Vivci the buff wizard"

[@joseph6852]

The NPC MVP.

[@menpower1]

@@RealFeytey Vivci: "I don't have people, I am alone". Players: "Ermm... Solo. Good luck Vivci Solo".

[@inept6986]

The demi god thing was actually an amazing idea. Props to the DM for coming up with that

[@cinnastag]

"Local skeletons rebuild the orphanage using the orphans as building material"

[@roepi]

At least it wasn't the players doing that for a change... Then again... the skelletons got their orders somewhere...

[@cinnastag]

@@roepi "Hiring a hitman is just third-person assassination" think this applies to that thought

[@Traveller281]

Ah, the expression on my DM's face when I once ALMOST talked our whole party out of a fight with a dragon by rolling a 20 on intimidation. That memory shall always brighten my day. *wipes a tear*

[@dovahkat9635]

When the kind, caring druid ends up causing more bloodshed than the evil tiefling warlock servant of Cthulu, I think its safe to say something has gone horribly wrong. Or horribly right. Or both.

[@goreobsessed2308]

We had that moment once we were dealing with a world that got completely ran over by this evil possessive gunk the palladin and the chaotic evil sorcerer both agreed this place needed to burn before you point it out yes the dm allowed this because I like to play evil and since I don't fuck the party he is cool with it the paladin was my babysitter specifically allowed to let me be evil to evil as long as I didn't go to far

[@Shimmermon]

In the Patfinder campaign I was a part of, I was the DPS druid. I tended to forget about most debuff and buff spells, so. Burst of Radience was my favorite thing for a loooong time.

[@swantjefoolcan9650]

I once played a cleric called lyric. She still is my favourite character. She was always the calm one and trying to gently keep the others out of trouble which is hard when your Barbar and Druid are double trouble and the group leader is a dumb, flirty pirate elf fighter. She was quickly so done with everyone. The druid once tried to shape shift into a swordfish because the barbar lost his weapon. On a ship. And messes up. Then the barbar, by the way poisoned because he ate a part of a tavern which was built into a giant rotting shark, whacks orcs with our druid and almost killing him. The Captain got almost kidnapped by a gorilla with four arms (long story) and only got free because he annoyed him so much with his flirting and our sorcerer got almost whisked away by the freaking souls tornado he produced himself. Lyrik had the lowest strength but dealt out the most damage and saved everybody's asses. That campaign was hilarious.

[@voopu]

We have that in our current campaign. I play a mostly healer/support Druid but I thought that I wanted at least one damage spell, so I took the magic stone cantrip. So, the problem is that our paladin has terrible throwing luck, and very rarely got through the enemy's armor. And there was our warlock, always missing and our rogue being busy running away, because our DM always throws criticals against him, but of course so far away, that I can heal him. So, what do I do? Nearly every turn throwing critical pebbles everywhere and killing everything in three turns.

[@baseballjustin5]

In the level up video Ellen says Marilyn is True Neutral so gets pulled along a bit by the chaotic PC's she's running around with. Which makes sense

[@arlaxazure486]

One time our DM was trying to be an ass and present us a "mysterious, potentially unstable" potion in one of our earliest encounters. He described it as "bubbling red liquid with the slightest yellow glow and slightly-warmer-than-room-temperature to the touch." So I asked "Is there a label?" There was a moment of silence and he replied with defeat "Yes. It's a potion of Cure Light Wounds." I think that counts as derailing because almost a year later he told me his newbie-GM brain thought it would be a good idea to evaluate how paranoid the PCs were with magical objects when there were mundane solutions in front of us. For a few sessions after that I felt compelled to ask "Is there a label?" every time we came across magical objects. Lol

[@weneedaladder8384]

I think that's genius, like the push to open door in "Orcward Encounter". Just a real quick sanity check to make sure people are still thinking like normal folk and not like every single thing is a complicated, plot related puzzle.

[@wordforger]

Heh. My dude has a bar of magical returning soap (an item that was supposed to be a one-off joke that came to have a recurring role) that he throws at EVERYTHING that might be potentially dangerous.

[@SirBlackjack010]

He could have said no, no?

[@MegaZeta]

That's shit even for n00b DMing, deciding arbitrarily your literate character won't notice a visible label in a language he knows, because he wants you to do the equivalent of moving your character forward by describing each muscle moving in sequence, hoping he can announce that the PC screwed up and fell on their face. He might as well have forced you to describe how the brain processes language before he read you what he wrote. New-DM mistakes aren't usually that calculated.

[@eddiemate]

@@MegaZeta While I agree it was too calculated for a new DM and that you should've noticed a label, this one random moment doesn't necessarily apply to everything the DM does. Do you have some pent up DM issues you need to work through?

[@rushuhm8087]

"Is there a brothel in this town?" At EVERY SINGLE TOWN!

[@roepi]

There probably is... and it probably beats the female paladin and the male sorceror getting into a contest on who can bed the most women in town... (the paladin won)

[@nickdejager8873]

There are two and they are competing (plot hook and potentially a way to make them stop asking).

[@jmccord8133]

@@nickdejager8873 Brothel is run/operated by a sorcerer, who metamagic subtle-charms the johns into indentured servitude where they are then sold off to someone else to “pay off the original debt.” Or just give them a magical disease/STI or ten kids and watch their dungeon haul of gold disappear each time they come back to town...

[@juliangines6764]

Those final words.....I love it. D&D is all about the TABLE having fun. Those moments of "derailing" for the DM are pure moments of the players thinking as their CHARACTERS and not as themselves. My players ignore the massive plot hooks I'm throwing at them left and right, and I want to pull my hair out, but thinking on your feet as the DM is what makes that role just as fun as playing a level 10 War Mage.

[@maxvel0city906]

"ALL I WANTED WAS FOR THEM TO GO AND TALK TO SOME FURNITURE SALESMAN!" Needs to be on a t-shirt.

[@torico29a40]

Sinking ship in the background, a chair with an eyepatch about to enter the scene via speedboat... Being a speedboat, rather.

[@maxvel0city906]

@@torico29a40 🤣

[@CortashGaming]

Lol!

[@CortashGaming]

@@torico29a40 with a cat on top!

[@ismirdochegal4804]

The Message they found totally should have rought them to some Furniture Salesman.

[@FabioLeprechaun]

DM rule #1: *Never underestimate the player's ability to do whatever you never planned for your adventure*

[@phylion6067]

Rule of DMing. Plan out the tiniest details that no one will ever learn, but don't plan that one thing that they'll nitpick

[@cookie856]

Well, maybe write just in case my brothers will play and chose that a spatial ship from an other planet IS more interesting that a art magic post-apocalyptic word XD

[@FaunaJoy]

My sister once killed the big bad guy if the campaign in the FIRST encounter. DM was piiiiissed. He had absolutely no backup, and had nowhere for them to go with the bad guy dead.

[@zenfrodo]

DM Rule #1a: Never underestimate your player's ability to distract the DM...and then take full advantage of it. That's how my players ended up prying up floor stones, bypassing 90% of the dungeon, and dropping right on top of the Big Bad's head.

[@DrRazernij]

Next time they go out chasing nowhere just go "And there, you find a merchamt, selling crimson earring, and he says 'crimson earrings, only crimson earrings over here' " And if they don't get the indirect, just make a fisherman show up and punch the merchant in the face saying "Oy, ye can't sell your earrings here, this be the red herring market" Then just make him sell red herrings to the party. If they still don't get it after that, burn their houses down.

[@curtin1107]

This is assuming the party has houses to burn down.

[@rebeccadittman6350]

I really like Johnny’s view on DM’ing cause it’s so true, if it’s party vs DM no one will have fun cause your just trying to make the other miserable all game long. But if it a collaborative story telling it’s just fun!

[@Strigulino]

Indeed. Some of the people commenting are forgetting that their job is to make entertaining videos. And relatively short ones, especially the live shows. Sometimes you have to railroad because there has to be closure in a short time frame.

[@eddiemate]

As a player, it’s honestly the better way to go for the DM and Player relationship. It’s more entertaining for the entire table, and it feels a lot more like a story compared to a video game. Then again my DM managed to derail his own campaign so I don’t think our table is capable of DM vs Players.

[@awkwardghosties1113]

these are not mutually exclusive opinions, DMs are also players who might want to do cool things. and conflict is the very essence of engaging stories, otherwise its all about johnny narrating a dragon fight an army by themselves while corazon takes a nap. im sorry thats bad dnd and boring to watch.

[@justanotheranimeprofilepic]

​@@awkwardghosties1113obviously you should have enemies shouldn't be AIMING for a total party knock out unless it's the whole campaigns BBEG

[@awkwardghosties1113]

@@justanotheranimeprofilepic if you want to play a disneyfied dnd session with new people or young kids thats a fine approach to take. if you want to treat your players with a bit of respect and they've had experience playing for a while and you claim 'the world is levelling up' i would like to see some actual stakes once in a while. the tutorial has to end at some point.

[@ozisusgerophiusmanabuzzwar2335]

"That's it I'm turning the quest around." This is my new slogan when my players go way off the rails.

[@harrowedone974]

I prefer to threaten them with a Colossal Mistake(a massive blob that is immune or resistant to ~1/2 damage types and hits the nearest thing for 4d6 4 times on its turn, regardless of allegiance) My players then exploit this and use it to kill Ancient Dragons.

[@sarahtwitt]

@@harrowedone974 or a terrasque (there is no way i spelled that correctly) breaking out of some bonds

[@harrowedone974]

Sarah Twitt you forgot to make it a Vampire Tarrasque Liche

[@GreymanWalking]

Easier solution is make a fluid campaign, there are no rails, you have encounters happen wherever the players are.

[@mikekazz5353]

DM: ok is everyone ready to take the tour of adventure Player: nah I gotta put something in a barrel hole, and roll to see if I get stuck or if it gets cut off.

[@alliahcherry6721]

Never underestimate the power of a low INT character to accidentally buy some drugs and walk into a brothel.

[@AFLoneWolf]

A low wisdom character will do it on purpose.

[@goreobsessed2308]

The low charisma guy does it to get laid

[@RussellStClair-cy1vu]

One of my favorites just love playing Groo "Cheese Wiz !!" For some reason he makes DMs cry 😂 and battles erupt from brothels !!

[@HobDobson]

What? Everyone knows it's the high CHA high WIS cleric that's most welcome in a brothel (with or without the painkillers)!

[@RussellStClair-cy1vu]

@@HobDobson who said welcomed hahahahaàa

[@jeffryejeffrye]

Imagine the skeletons rebuilt the orphanage but used parents to make mortar so there would be newly made orphans to fill the new building

[@coffeeaddict9605]

If I remember correctly that almost happened. When they yelled at the skeletons to bring the orphans back, the skeletons asked "You want orphans?" Luckily they clued in at that point and quickly added that they didn't want them to kill parents to make new orphans.

[@jg6551]

When I was DM In a dungeon that was converting humans into different types of monsters. The final boss was this massive giant on steroids with a couple minions. The party left, went to the tavern, bought all the liquor, booze, alcohol, etc you get it. While the boss was sleeping one party member manages to get both minions to fall asleep while on duty. The party placed their soon to be fireworks display all round the monsters and the boss. My final boss, my plan, along with the minions, literally went up in flames. The wooden support beams of the dungeon they were in collapsed and the party died too shortly after.

[@baseballjustin5]

LoL. Got to think of an escape plan first. But bet everyone had fun

[@chriswolfe351]

"How much damage does a whale do?" That reminds me of a similar question I've heard about a Vampire the Masquerade game, it was something to the effect of "I never thought I'd have to figure out how much damage holding the spinning tire of a motorcycle against someone's face would do."

[@arcaniumdragon2444]

Oh..... Oooooooooh.... That's brutal... And sounds really gory too...

[@MegaZeta]

Must have been before _Blade II_ hit theaters.

[@AliceinDisneyWorld1125]

In my session, our Druid enlisted an army of bears to help us fight a guy that was torturing animals to make drugs. (We never found out what drugs, magic drugs I guess.) At one point during the fight the BBG picked up a bear and threw it at my character (a Kenku bard) I failed to dodge it, and our DM started to roll damage, paused, and asked "What do you roll for a bear being used as a projectile?

[@Spelitus]

@@AliceinDisneyWorld1125 Rules as written, "An Object that bears no resemblance to a weapon deals 1d4 damage (the dm assigns a damage type appropriate to the object) so as written a thrown bear would have a 20/60 range and 1d4 Blugeoning og slashing damage depending if the claws hit or not? ... Makes sence /s

[@s.colins2050]

@@AliceinDisneyWorld1125 I would say use the boulder from a Giant's stat block at that point.

[@barrybend7189]

The worst words to hear from a player: " Yes person in fireball distance".

[@goretoriumgaming8600]

You misspelled best

[@DeathnoteBB]

This is a reference, I forget from where, but it’s a good reference

[@alexmclachlan4350]

@@DeathnoteBB Crap guide to d&d: wizard from JoCat

[@Mortismors]

I had a party kill an evil wizard and realize as he died he had multiple fireball spells on items with contingency spells. He exploded and took out half the village and a section of the outer wall.

[@Gigawolf1]

@@Mortismors The way Contingency works, you can a) only have one use active at a time, and b) the held spell only affects the caster. The wizard would've just burned up more - but Glyph of Warding keyed to "when [evil wizard] dies" would have the desired outcome

[@ThatElfTorunn]

Merilwens meat grinder is by far, one of the best D&D stories I've ever heard... And I know someone who is OBSESSED with fish and LITERALLY rolls to find out what fish there are in any given body of water, which I found absolutely hilarious. He and his fishues.

[@Inlelendri]

Anyone else notice how often Dob is the derailing party? Actually, either Dob or Merilwen...

[@ryadinstormblessed8308]

And usually by projecting an aura of cuteness onto someone or something that up until that point was either ordinary or beastly or in some other way not quite adorable. I wonder if that's actually a covert spell that they've mastered, "Aura of Cuteness".

[@yushakader4991]

@@ryadinstormblessed8308 after watching show of the weekend I can safely say that they have mastered that to the point of being able to weaponise it

[@mariareynolds8855]

Johnny: “I desperately don’t want these people to have to kill a child” Also Johnny: “Yes! That’s my in! Let’s kill some children!”

[@HazeEmry]

I mean a DNPC and random NPCs like the orphans aren't really the same. Think back to the random guard in the quest that took Egbert's kidney (Christopher Englebert the 17th). He didn't expect them to take the guy along. However Alfred Strangetide and the Jester from A Quiet Riot were made to join in the adventure and move the plot

[@bhull242]

Also, it’s different when the NPC(s) in question is/are unseen. In this case, the existence (well, previous existence) of an orphanage certainly implied the existence of orphans to the players, but at no point did the players themselves interact with or even see the orphans prior to their use as mortar. With Christopher Englebert the 17th, even under the intended route, the players were specifically intended to see and interact with him, even if that “interaction” simply involved KOing or killing him and then picking his pockets or (as did happen) intimidating him into unlocking everyone’s cells and possibly interrogating him. And even with the rat-transformed noble son, the players did actually see him rather than just hear about him or infer his existence. Basically, there’s a difference between a “main”, “interactive”, or “visible” NPC and a “background” or “outside” NPC. (The skeletons and Alfred Strangetied would be “main” NPCs; Christopher Englebert XVII and bosses would be “interactive”; the rat-transformed son would be “visible”; the orphans would be “background”; and the original boss of the skeletons would be “outside”.)

[@drilltotheheavens1695]

I got you to 1k likes your welcome.

[@lordawesome9060]

@@bhull242 You have explained this perfectly. Thank you.

[@sambeck2510]

I once dm'd a game where the players were supposed to deliver a shipment, and along the way they witnessed an attack and were supposed save the victims. They did not save the victims. They didn't deliver the shipment either. They tried to take over the city. It did not work out.

[@thefortress167]

Darn. I wish them luck next time.

[@Cyberpuppy63]

Of course it didn't work out! Maybe, as DM, you were supposed to place "bubble cards" over the NPC's which read "Neat reward for saving". or "Victim might speak highly of a PC, to pass some guards, etc. etc.". Un subtle hints, and un-spoken suggestions can work wonders, in some games. As for trying to take over a city; good luck with THAT b/s. Just have a few hundred citizens gag / tie them up, and parade them in the open. Or wait until the players take their rest break. They get hit on the head, and dragged to the market square and shackled to the ubiquitious post.

[@HiopX]

The next time some one asks what chaotic stupid is, I'll refer to this.

[@MegaZeta]

That's the sort of challenge I grew to relish as a DM over the years. By all means, chat over drinks how you all want to play good-aligned characters with noble intentions, and when I'm 90% done with the adventure playing to those PCs, decide you want to play an all-evil party instead. I usually find out I've done a lot better job writing and prepping the thing than I'd ever have known otherwise, and I get to exercise all the other DM muscles at the same time: improvisation, petty sadism, etc.

[@AliceinDisneyWorld1125]

@@MegaZeta This is why I assume everyone is chaotic neutral until I see evidence proving otherwise.

[@Snnoy]

One time I gave my player a huge starting plot, a wizard academy brainwashing students to take over the world, a large golem being built to destroy entire cities in seconds, ancient conflicts coming to the present, and... My player just left the city. He didn’t care. He just, y’know, up and left.

[@anthonyjackob7192]

The answer is "Ok, sure, you can leave. We'll wrap it up for today - see you in a month once I prepare a whole new campaign for you". They usually get it and stay in the story area.

[@ultrablueberry2420]

DM: "Brettonian Knights disdain ranged weaponry." Player: "This is not a ranged weapon friend tis a barrel of oil." Me, a Bard: "Roll to Charm."

[@cobaltCarnivore]

Late reply, but this sounds suspiciously like a large, red nerd and a too-well oiled Jojo expy...

[@Azurada23rd]

… all right. Roll ballistic skill

[@tetragaming6332]

DM: you walk into a room that has a pentagram on the floor and a red ball in the corner. Oxventurers: Let's use these to summon cthulu

[@goreobsessed2308]

Ah I had a demonologist once when the rest of the group was neutral while they fought the big bad I ran over and summoned a different dumber demon to use against him screwing his ritual completely

[@imtoolazytocomeupwithaclev2323]

Tetra gaming *rolls a nat 20*

[@HomicidalTh0r]

@@goreobsessed2308 Genius

[@proxy90909]

@@goreobsessed2308 Thats actually genius!!

[@mouldy_zebra2667]

666 likes...

[@Sleeping_Insomiac]

Me (DM): "You arrive at a T-intersection; the road to the left leads to the capital, to the right, the way meanders through a valley and towards the distant mountains... Players: "We cut our way through the underbrush and go straight ahead!" Me: *sigh*

[@MegaZeta]

My experience is, if you DM long enough, those are the players you absolutely want in as many of your games as possible. You do not know what you can do as a DM, how well you've written and prepared an adventure or setting, how good you are at thinking on the fly with what's been kicking around in your head from all those nerd books, until you have a party like that. And, again from my experience at least, you will find that you're a lot better at all of those things than you'd otherwise think.

[@GodzillasaurusJr]

@@MegaZeta Yes! I would love for players to not only "think outside the box" (mine do do that!), but show initiative as well, and go off on their own thing.

[@roepi]

Lucky you.... When my playing found an entrence to the underdark they went out of their way to get ring gates... suspended one above the entrence.. and threw the other one in a sewers of a major metropolis....

[@AmandaNeukam]

@@roepi ....were they Chaotic Evil?

[@roepi]

@@AmandaNeukam There were a paladin and a lawful good cleric in that group... I suppose I could have blamed the chaotic neutral sorceror but that would be giving way too much credit to the forces of chaos. I suppose I should have figured out what they wanted with those ring gates sooner. It wasn't nearly the weirdest idea they had to that point. They explained it as retaliation for a drow invasion a few years in game time earlier. I didn't buy it then, and I don't buy it now.

[@xXCherryKoolAidXx]

I live for my players going wild and encourage them to get crazy with their solutions! Letting them follow their own leads has brought about some of my favorite moments in our games. In fact, my 2 players for my main campaign solved a murder mystery together wherein a sleazy hotel owner had kidnapped and held his rival’s daughter hostage, ultimately knocking her out and leaving her in a walk-in freezer to die. The guys followed all the clues and found her body literally frozen, but each guy has a laser sword, so they actually thawed her out. Then, my Paladin asked if her body was essentially preserved in that freezer, and I told him it was. He then wanted to blast his healing spell full force into her and dump every spare point of health he had to revive her. We rolled for it, and it was a massive success! I never planned on having her as an NPC in the story, but thanks to the players, we’ve got a whole brand new character to help flesh out the world.

[@corvid6923]

I remember when I derailed my DM’s plans... I was playing a Dragonborn barbarian (very original, I know) and we had just killed an ochre jelly that came through some rubble in the walls. I decided that I wanted to break through to the other side. Rolled an 18. Combined with my dumbass barbarian strength, I had a 22 right there. I broke through the wall from the 3rd room of the labyrinth we were in to the last. *Barbarian is dumb*

[@preciousrogue1833]

Honestly, Alfred Strangetide the baby Professor is one of the greatest characters to ever be derailed into existing and I hope we see him again!

[@Cyfrik]

Now I want a crossover -buddy cop- buddy adventurer movie about Alfred Strangetide and Old Baby Gus from Drawga going on a quest together.

[@cheetarah9199]

I really enjoyed them dragging him into a second adventure when Johnny really should have seen it coming!

[@brentage5000]

Just that Johnny enjoyed his accidental existence enough to bring him back for the Christmas special shows how much Johnny actually minds this stuff (i.e., not that much)

[@sirbillius]

I was so happy to see Literally Everyone Else In The World.

[@Rainbow_Matrix]

Seriously, how did they manage to fit so many people in a single chair?

[@NoFormalTraining]

@@Rainbow_Matrix The chair came second hand from a TARDIS.

[@jothamfunclara5135]

I think the literally everyone else in the world talking in unison is a bit much, though.

[@ArielTwain]

popular character Literally Everyone Else In The World

[@zuralani1]

@@jothamfunclara5135 it's just Johnny invoking the Avatar state

[@spiderdude2099]

Never....ever....EVER include flavor text that can be fixated on to even a small degree

[@Albatross0913]

You misspelled "always"

[@andrewl9191]

The part about the rat in this video was perfectly fine...except he really stressed that it was odd to see it there in such a posh place.

[@vinx.9099]

this is how you end up with players being paranoid about a fucking chair.

[@queenoffabulous2156]

Never forget when Johnny gave the 30 lads all a name in preparation but no one asked

[@sabusamomoshi]

If u think derailment only happens with npc, my team caprured a goblin and our dm had to invent a whole story arc for this random enemy

[@bhull242]

@sabusamomoshi Did he become the goblin king? Was it because of @rosebud130? He describes a similar situation.

[@sabusamomoshi]

@@bhull242 he was the brother of the goblin king or some goblin general

[@NunesAAR]

omg my players decided to charm (or intimidate depending on who's talking) all the kobolds they find and now there is a whole gaggle (?) of kobolds living in the wild

[@goreobsessed2308]

@@NunesAAR that's my favorite thing to do in games is getting the enemies to join up with the adventuring conpany

[@FawXnSawX]

I once incapacitated a pixie who happened to be an interdimensional summoner and servant of the current big baddie. and my character was so lawful good he decided to not kill her (she couldn't fight back/dishonor) but she was also wayyyy to fucking dangerous to let go (interdimensional demon summoning and information leak to big baddy.) So he was going to bring her to a pixie lord of some sort to stand trial for her crimes (as bringing her before humans didnt make sense to me.) But the closest place where that was an option (the domain of some sort of great nature spirit) was super out of the way and inconvenient to get to, so we literally bound her and kept her in a party members backpack and requested that party members pixie sidekick keep an eye on her (a conversation with said sidekick yielded the information as to the location of this nature spirit) Long story short it was so inconvient at most times to get to this nature spirit that we lugged this evil pixie summoner boss around long enough for her to Stockholm into becoming my lawful good half elf clerics chaotic evil little partner. Thinking back my dm must have wanted to throttle me.

[@maxlittlewood]

I'm surprised D&Dad's hair is still a luscious brown and not a stark grey

[@brentage5000]

They do have hair dye for men....

[@Greenwood4727]

3 years of doing two campaigns it does age you.. i burned out.. and i even added a lot of random events

[@marhawkman303]

@@brentage5000 Yeah that bottle next to his shower isn't shampoo :p

[@brentage5000]

@@marhawkman303 which one -- the brown one, the green one, or the light brown one?

[@marhawkman303]

@@brentage5000 Well yes he has several options true.

[@HellsMirror]

The first one actually happened to our party, when the DM made the mistake to describe an abandoned mansion in a city just a little too well and we went there to explore instead of doing literally everything else he had planned for us

[@voidinkstudios8753]

I'm still a very new DM and my players have pulled me through most of these lol. 1- Fixated on a minor detail: They spent 45 minutes trying to figure out how to weaponize roast beef sandwiches because I mentioned they were the lunch special in the tavern they're staying at off handedly. 3- Going rogue with NPCs: They stole a bandit's mechanical legs, refuse to call their main quest giver by his actual names, and in our first ever campaign, kidnapped a goblin and kept him around as a mascot. 5- Boss avoidance: They managed to convince a green dragon the cultists they were going to fight was actually plotting against the dragon and got it do kill them instead. Also, they managed to deceive their way through half a dungeon, because Goblins make shit insight checks. 6- Surprisingly powerful spells: Had a player learn and abuse the hell out of the spell Catapult. Many things were flung into enemies for a surprising amount of force damage.

[@AFLoneWolf]

Did they ever manage to weaponize the roast beef?

[@voidinkstudios8753]

@@AFLoneWolf Unfortunately, no. Although they did use them for various puzzle solving nonsense down the road, particularly when feeding grumpy animals.

[@innocentbystander5057]

That last bit cracked me up. When I used to play D&D, our DM came up with a big long quest for us to honor a friend of ours that had died. Part of that quest took us thru a forest full of elves. Since our friend always hated elves, the DM decided that these elves were not friendly. We were being overrun with elves when someone in the group had the idea to light the forest on fire. The idea was that we throw out all of our lamp oil and booze and then Willie (dead friends brother) would throw a lamp and light it so we could escape. Our DM doesn't give any breaks tho, so after Willie threw the lamp he looks at him and says, don't you wish you would have lit it? So, then it comes to my turn, natural 20 Fireball. We ended up burning down an entire elf kingdom and our DM had to completely redo a section of the quest since the Elf Kingdom was a later part lol.

[@zekethegeek97]

Sounds like the perfect way to honor that friend tbh

[@andymcp4752]

"To solve this mystery we just have to think like the DM" *This is going nowhere guys seriously just talk to the--* "TO THE DOCKS!"

[@StayNPlayGames]

#PullingADob

[@phylion6067]

@@StayNPlayGames don't be a Dob

[@lauraunderwood265]

We need a new version of this! I’d love to see what the have done to Jonny in the last couple years.

[@roguedogx]

I love how andy almost always knows what's going on and Luke is almost always causing the problems.

[@Mexslash23]

Lol, the meat grinder. Reminds me of my first time DMing. Me: ok so the bard is now putting on a show for the other guests in the hotel. Dragonborn fighter: I’m gonna provide him with pyro technics. Me: what? DBF: I use my breath weapon. Me: um, ok, roll damage. DBF: What? Me: roll damage. DBF: -happens to roll the maximum- Me: haha what shenanigans, 4 people died in that fire.

[@MrZutcom]

If you thought I wasn't going to get that SWE reference, you were wrong.

[@spaceartiste2496]

Oh, that's nothing. Our monk used his wild magic-stick in a bar to impress an npc-girl and accidentally killed 39 civilians.

[@lovesravens]

A pickpocketing incident turned into 94 dead civilians during our bards concert, We were considered terrorists by the city... I didn't think the floor spikes would do that much

[@iratokcs]

Our warlock burned the entire forest where the end of the campaign should have happened by accident, at level 3. In a country where magic was banned.. Yeah, good times..

[@alexanderzhmurov9624]

That sounds just about right...

[@ThePadsta108]

One of my all-time favourite things I've ever done, that I was sorry to the DM for, was derailing the campaign something fierce. But by golly, was it beautiful. Essentially we were on a side mission to find out where some missing mages had gone. We found out through a few encounters that demons were behind it and tracked them back to the head honcho of the operation, a Night Hag in a swamp(think like, Crookback Bog from Witcher 3). We engaged in a huge old boss fight with the hag and her minions and got the better of her. Our warlock and I were in melee combat with her when she decided to cast Plane Shift in order to escape. In the heat of the moment, I asked the DM "Can I grab onto her like a port-key?", and the warlock agreed to do the same. The demons we'd been dealing with had been using the Ethereal Plane to escape us in combat throughout the quest, so we figured we would just be there and be able to hop straight back once the hag was dead. It may have been a bend of the mechanics, but the DM allowed us to grab onto her and be transported with her to her destination, at which point the DM took a long moment to prepare something, telling us she hadn't prepared for this. And then, we were told that two of the stronger members of our 4-man party had been transported to the Abyss. We are still there, looking for a portal back home, fighting off demons and accepting the fact that we're almost definitely going to die in Hell. So that's how I turned our campaign from a Sherlock Holmes missing persons case, into a chapter of DOOM. I just hope that, if we get out, we have a few trophies to come with us. Maybe a set of Praetor armour, a chainsaw or a double-barrelled blunderbuss.

[@fightingdan3407]

Did you get out?

[@theangel1975]

Did you get out?

[@ThePadsta108]

@@theangel1975 Sadly our hellscape adventure was cut short.. And I will forever carry the guilt of leading us to that grisly TPK ;-; On the bright side, we started a new post-apocalypse homebrew game that has spanned into other realities and timelines, so we get to see cameos and visits from characters and plotlines from the first campaign.. So it went from Sherlock Holmes, to DOOM, to Mad Max, to Avengers Endgame xD

[@DraconicDuelist]

Nice!

[@emberthefox4951]

I love how you guys were at Doom's Gate for just a second and got right into it.

[@Garffunguy]

I once had a group de-rail my game, pretty badly. Some context, they had completely ruined a circus by killing the man who charmed all the creatures in the circus (not even the bad part) and then, after spending some time in the town (the capital city) they went to the biggest academy. The ranger tried to sneak into the school which was on lockdown so his best plan, was to set an actual fore in the courtyard. After some shenanigans the ranger got caught and the party was taken into the protectorate (a clan in the city which is basically just upper class guards). The artifice caused a large fight to break out and eventually they killed an ENTIRE WORKFORCE OF ADVANCED GUARD PERSONNEL. Then they fled and escaped the city.

[@deansullivan4179]

Just recently, thanks to the spell “suggestion” we not only skipped a boss fight, but ended up befriended said boss and learned from him about another NPC that we can potentially add to our burgeoning army.

[@Ilikeporkpie]

To be fair to Johnny, he always looks like he has everything totally under control even if he is actually screaming internally.

[@Kari-tu3fs]

Ilikeporkpie Thats the trick.

[@albaniaalban]

That's the first part of GM acting school! (the second part is to be able to ask your players for a time-out/discuss what you need to do going forward)

[@gdesign95]

my players can tell when they have truly caught me off guard because I go quiet and still while my eyes frantically move while I think. however they most of the time don't realize that I am making ~80-90% of this shit up as I go due to their actions.

[@truekurayami]

@@gdesign95 you would have had a field day with one of my warforges in 3.5. He was literally made to be a priest but can't remember which gods he served, but could fit in with most of the cults, and such the party would run into

[@JoeL-yq1iv]

That's one of the final lessons a master GM learns.

[@m1tthrawnuru0d06]

" *Is* *your* *chair* *business* *being* *affected* *by* *some* *new* *competitor* *on* *the* *market* ?"

[@Rocky123698745]

“You don’t know it yet, but this is the greatest day of your life.”

[@bearcommander7278]

Luke: All Caps, GO TO THE DOCKS YOU IDIOTS! Mike: DON’T go to the docks!! Luke: Sorry, I will get there Johnny! Johnny: Case in point.

[@FuncleChuck]

The “accidentally avoid or totally obliterate the boss battle” trope is the THEME of this campaign.

[@venturerweegee64]

chaos I think you mean the MEME of this campaign

[@Chokah]

Considering things that happened in some campaigns I've played in. Bypassing a boss battle also became a shtick.

[@rtg5881]

@@venturerweegee64 Themes are a subset of memes. All themes are memes but not all memes are themes.

[@venturerweegee64]

G P I was also just making a joke dude But thank you for the info.

[@legion500]

Had this happen in a campaign. Up against a massive hydra with like 250 hp, our druid summons 2 wind elementals with his magic item and 8 SWARMS OF BATS. Obliterated the hydra in one turn. The dms face when he tore up it's character sheet was PRICELESS.

[@Maadhawk]

Never played D&D, but I have to say, Merilwen's Meat Grinder is one of the best stories I have ever heard.

[@jordannewthomas3293]

It's about as funny as the guys from the VLDL channels adventure where in a last ditch effort to stop the whole team from being massacred by a fallen arch angel that just killed the groups magical unicorn companion in one move a simple garlic farmer/shopkeeper uses disguise self to trick it and give them enough time to destroy some runes and a throne to release a city from being chained in hell.

[@lonelybookworm]

@@jordannewthomas3293 Use punctuation, it's not that hard...

[@andrewpowell2730]

As someone who has run DnD games for roughly 2-3 years consistently, the stories you collect are truly just hilarious. I will never forget the time my players, while in the gothic horro game, managed to pin a prison escape on a horse and get it hanged.

[@ultraguardiansev696]

@@andrewpowell2730 what.

[@andrewpowell2730]

@@ultraguardiansev696 So I was running Curse of Strahd. The party was in Vallaki, where they met the 2 sons of an influential noble, Lady Watcher. Now, the party rogue decided to pick their pockets because the two men were rowdy and rude. This is where shit hit the fan, because there were a few Vistani in the tavern (Vistani are a tricky thing because as written in the book they are a stereotype of the Romani people). These Vistani got blamed for the theft and had their nearby camp rounded up for punishment. The rogue, feeling guilty, realized that he had to save the Vistani. The party caused a slight distraction which allowed the Arxane Trickster rogueto mage hand pick the locks of the Vistani, who escaped. The head of the guard tried to chase after them, but the Druid had a plan. She waited down the alley that the Vistani fled through, wildshaped as a horse. As the guard walked by, she kicked him in the head and bolted. The rogue then disguised himself with the spell disguise self as a Barovian with a head wound claiming he saw the person who freed the Vistani turn into a horse, but they kicked him in the head. Nat 20 deception. So basically the guard captain grabbed a horse, claimed it was a shapeshifter who freed the prisoners, and hung the horse to save face.

[@Kfroguar]

"if you want to really mess them up, give them lots of little things to fight" he says as i'm being mobbed by cliff racers in my game

[@beanface7408]

Thank Almsivi for St. Juib

[@writeonshell]

This is still one of my fav pieces of behind the scenes. I'd really love an updated version of it, maybe with some examples from Blades and/or Deadlands with Luke and Andy.

[@jameswoodard4304]

St. John the Long-Suffering. Patron saint of DMs, babysitters, and substitute teachers.

[@kitmakin289]

And now I know which medal to buy from the Catholic Church - Finally!!!

[@CaporegimeMarcus]

"I really want to mash these orphans up!" - Johnny Chiodini 2019

[@kallasantysanty6092]

Lets hope he never tries to build an animal shelter, Merilwen would not be pleased :)

[@toymachine4253]

"Yes, that's my in, let's kill some children!"

[@CortashGaming]

I had an idea for a shirt! "WINK WINK" 😀👍

[@lexk6203]

'"when they just picked him up and pinned his arms"...I, the DM, too, felt picked up and pinned.

[@ploepiplayer6150]

On my first session ever, my players got suspicious at a literal rope laying in the forest. That rope was not even supposed to be there. Took them 20 minutes.

[@scorpix96]

I once saw a quote in a warhammer book that really applies to all this: "A plan never survives first contact with the ennemy"

[@kcollier710]

Or the Mike Tyson corollary: "Everbody has a plan until they get hit"

[@harrishoin7950]

The first casualty of any battle is the plan

[@Nempo13]

That is a quote attributed to Scipio Aemilianus Africanus...the general of Rome that literally wiped Carthage off the map. When he made a plan, he didn't make one...he made several, knowing that the first few would never be viable after the battle began due to movements of the enemy. Others attribute it to Julius Caesar in his memoirs about the fight with the celtiberanian tribes where he built a wall around the city, and then a wall facing out around that...creating the world's first and ONLY doughnut shaped fort with enemies inside and outside of it. Basically, the quote is attributed to Rome, but which general (others also are credited with saying it) is up for debate.

[@jasonsorin1021]

In the grim darkness of the far future, there is only improv.

[@boesvig2258]

Cory Myers It's just "Celtiberian" (as in Celts that inhabited the Iberian peninsula), not "Celtiberanian". And the "doughnut battle" you're referring to is the battle of Alesia in 52BC, where Caesar defeated Vercingetorix and conquered Gaul. It doesn't really have anything to do with Celtiberian tribes.

[@HewleyxAngel]

My first campaign I ever DMed, my party killed the NPC who was supposed to be their ally and spent the next five sessions working for the villain. I had to throw out all my notes. I got John Hammond'd. Life found a way.

[@goreobsessed2308]

Nice gears on rolling with it

[@isectoid9454]

TableTop: The only game type where the Big Bad sets out to save the world from the players on a regular basis.

[@amokriinprolgiid3409]

Once playing D&D, I unwittingly flirted with the main villain (who we didn't know was the main villain yet) to sell him some crap I stole from the tavern we started in and ended up accidentally turning the main villain gay. My Charisma points were high, and I rolled high. It was a weird game.

[@Pepper_Jvck]

"I really want to mash these orphans up, cause I think it'll be so funny"

[@shadowdagger2]

"You're a terrifying DM!" "GOOD!"

[@nerdletter3773]

You wanna know how badly our party derails the campaign? Our DM literally had to make an NPC party member just to keep us in line.

[@MegaDaniel24680]

Lmao this is what i did for my campaign

[@ShinyShilla]

Ppff amateurs, I made my dm lose any interest in playing

[@christinekoper2407]

Us too lmaooo

[@shade3413]

This is simply awful DMing

[@lesslycepeda5247]

That's the worst solution possible

[@TokuHer0]

PC1: I have an idea! We have 2 wizards with us. Have them summon stuff and we'll intimidate the pirates with numbers. DM: What're you going to summon? You're on a boat in the middle of the ocean PC2: Uh... it says here Dolphins are summonable at Summon 1 DM: Dolphins... Ok make your rolls. PC2: "I summon 3 Dolphins." Me: "I got 5." DM: (after verifying everyone's rolls) ...Ok, you outnumber the pirates 12 vs 8. Roll to intimidate...? PC1: (Nat20) "Throw down your arms or prepare to face the full fury of the deep!" And that was the story of how my playgroup developed "Contingency Plan Alpha."

[@CreativeHufflepuff]

My dm is going to hate you.... i have ideas mwahahaha

[@VivaLaDnDLogs]

That is amazing!

[@MegaZeta]

Why are so many contemporary stories "my players rolled a natural 20 and I let them do whatever they want, with whatever skill/score, regardless of everything else"? That's terrible precedent, turning peak moments in your game into ad-hoc versions of those giant wheel games Vegas casinos put up to snow the gullible. It's fun to have a natural 20 or 1 give enhanced effects, to inject the traditional thrill of "gaming" in the sense of gambling, but a 5% chance on one roll shouldn't remove the rules. If you want your players to value the characters they build and play, not to mention the same from yourself for your role as DM, focus on choices within known odds.

[@RashidMBey]

@@MegaZeta What rules did this story break?

[@eddiemate]

@@RashidMBey Skills (like eveyrthing non-attack based), by RAW, don't actually have a natural 1 or natural 20 applicable to them. They're just meant to be normal outcomes on the dice that you add your number to. Though I think Mega is just mad about something from their games. There seems to be a few comments like this.

[@rutyqutykandi1361]

Me as the DM: Ha, you couldn't ruin any of my plans because I didn't really have any.

[@thaddeusgenhelm8979]

Nah, what happens then is they don't do *anything*, because if you give them a plot they wander off into the sandbox, and if you give them a sandbox they sit around doing nothing =P

[@rutyqutykandi1361]

@@thaddeusgenhelm8979 my group regardless of giving them a plot or a sandbox just wants to follow my directions instead. Typically they ask for my help on deciding what to do. It has to do with the fact they were RPers before one wanted to play D&D. I had only had one game experience with it while everyone else had nothing. So I made the craziest homebrew ever and it is still going. Hopefully when I get the plot going to the first major event I can stop being player DM. (Then again I've already been distancing myself now that I finally have enough players to fill the three basic rolls.)

[@ElSalsaRey]

In my current main campaign, I've had all of these happen: 1) In a dungeon, they came across an empty chest. After noting it was empty, they spent the next 20 minutes doing every possible check they could on it. Even animal handling. 2) After a grueling fight on a raft to get to some caves, they arrived and heard some alarms going off. They were supposed to go right and deal with the sailors looking their way. Instead they made a straight rush to the boss. 3) So many to choose from...they're convinced that a Hunter they came across is a Vampire, so whenever they see him try to assault him with garlic. Said Hunter they also pushed to being governor of a town that had evacuated to a fortress after the Hunter's lodge was destroyed, the town was attacked by a dragon, and the party had killed the mayor. I've also had to make a pretty respectable priest an asshole because the priest's deity doesn't care for undead and the party's cleric is a necromancer. 4) The party is fond of making requests that I just didn't go along with. Nothing too crazy as in the video. 5) The party has mostly been good at taking out the bosses. However...there's one dungeon in their first campaign that they never actually did. It might have been one of the more challenging ones. But the idea was that they would negotiate with some Wererats who would agree to leave a mine if their former home was liberated from some Orcs and Ogres. Instead the party just killed most of the Wererats, and the remainder were sent off to a Gnome stronghold...which the party had mostly killed previously because they had gone crazy. 6) At one point, they came across a squadron of Orcs and their Half-Orc leader. Said Orcs promptly attacked, throwing javelins and instantly killing the party's centaur companion. At that the Half-Orc smirked, looked at the party, and declared "Three to go." One casting of a Necklace of Fireball later, the party's Sorcerer returned the smirk and declared "One to go." 7) The Gnome village is the best example here, but they also killed a Town's Mayor, declared a Hunter to be in charge now, and requested that the village move to a secure fortress.

[@jacobb.9181]

We once found an assassination contract from the king in a burglars pocket. One person didn’t know what that was so she pocketed it and told nobody

[@eclipsedninja1346]

Knight: THE KING IS DEAD! RAISE THE ALARM!

[@AaronMcLin]

The most interesting thing about this video is hearing Mr. Chiodini talk about coming to understand these things. I DMed my first adventure back in 1983. It was a disaster. But over the past 36 years, I've learned a these same lessons (and many more), and they mainly come down to: "Don't tell the story in advance." A lot of people have trouble with the idea that you can't script out a tabletop RPG in the same way you can a computer/console RPG. So, if you're running _The Witcher_ or _Dragon Age_ (or _Dungeons and Dragons_) as a GM, you're simply not going to have the same level of control that the writing staff at CD Projekt Red or Bioware can exert. So detailing a story to the same degree is always going to backfire. P.S.: And here's a candidate for a #8 from my own experience... Halting the catastrophe that's supposed to be unfolding before their eyes. Players are experts at finding ways to interfere with the foolproof plan that your villain has to set something off. So if it absolutely, positively, *needs* to happen, then it takes place off-camera, while the players are otherwise engaged.

[@LetTalesBeTold]

“Get to know your players’ instincts so that you can give them options they’ll gravitate to that won’t break the story” is really top notch advice (love all the little advice bits at the end of each segment, actually), and a super fun process to go through as long as you don’t mind a little chaos parsed throughout some of your sessions. First and only time I DM’d thus far, I put a very eerie, very sus, maybe-an-eldritch-horror-you-don’t-know child in the middle of an abandoned town, and my players ALMOST succeeded in convincing the child that they could be his two dads and they would go traveling together so he wouldn’t have to be lonely. So now I know I can either nudge or avoid their “adopt everything” instincts via the right amounts of cute and mysterious. And yes, if they had adopted the child, it would have utterly broken the game. xD

[@malbogia8003]

A year (prolly more) on, and I still think Johnny (sp) is still one of the best DMs I've seen. Too few DMs are willing to change their vision to tell an entertaining or intresting story.

[@amouseduh9084]

"And that was my downfall. Because then they had a whale that they could later weaponize."

[@Pinkie_S]

Johnny to all other DMs: You don't just simply give the Oxventurers a weponized whale

[@jasonsorin1021]

One does not simply weaponize a whale.

[@nathnathn]

Jason Sorin just don’t poke a beached whale. They’re already weaponised.

[@jasonsorin1021]

Look up exploding whale. It's worth it.

[@Papashaft]

Honestly the best DM is able to quickly and smoothly go along with the group. Yes the DM is in charge however the group itself dictates how it is played out

[@OrangeyChocolate]

Very recently, I had intended for my players to engage in an intense roleplaying challenge. Essentially, the first mate of the airship they’d chartered got fed up with the captain’s recklessness and decided to stage a mutiny. I’d planned to have the characters make their case to the crew members who sided with the first mate and convince them to stand by their captain a little longer. What does my buddy’s ranger do? He grabs the first mate, stuffs him into a barrel head first, seals him in, then paints the words “MUTINOUS BASTARD” on the side of it. At least we all got a laugh out of it.

[@snakes_shadow3539]

My first DM gad an interesting new player moment: the party had to get into a tower whose only features were blue spots. The newbie walked around the tower, asked what they saw, and was told that one spot looked like a door. They said they walked into the door shape. Everyone joked that they hurt their nose walking face-first into a wall, but the DM had this look on his face, and went "No, guys, she's right, that's the way in." In my defense, I'd already seen that gimmick in a book.

[@thesuperginge1348]

The puzzle was that the thing that looked like a door was the door??

[@snakes_shadow3539]

@@thesuperginge1348 Eeeeeeeeeyup. And judging by their reactions to my actions, it could've taken them awhile to figure it out.

[@tylerhibler5267]

I had one of those moments today. My character (drow fighter-Sith-bard-stand user), after the party fought some sirens, found some bright yellow goo, and licked it. Turned out to be a drug called sun drop. Causes immense joy, and is also an extremely potent aphrodisiac. So, there I was, horny on a boat, and the party was trapped with me

[@goreobsessed2308]

I'm that player in my group usually I tend to play charismatic idiot sorcerer's who stumble right into the best outcomes and has the defensive suite of items and spells to usually get out of the Jams he gets into

[@Binary-]

"Theyre gonna slide into [the spike growth] and that's gonna be great" and grate it did....

[@yannickvanhoutte4403]

I love Spike Growth. In a current ongoing prehistoric pulp game I'm playing an Orc Ranger. We've had some merfolk with harpoons harrass us for a bit, though I think I deterred the DM from using harpoons again: lay down Spike Growth, wait for the harpoon to be shot at you, and reverse-scorpion them to their death. We've had plenty of "Get over here!" shouting over the microphone.

[@Madhattersinjeans]

Isn't there a perception check to spot the spike growth first though? surely the first few npcs would notice that there is a trap after 1 or 2 of them have been caught in it?

[@yannickvanhoutte4403]

Doesn't exactly help when you are getting pulled in against your will... Now I'm imagining a ranger and a warlock with Grasp of Hadar invocation teaming up...

[@marhawkman303]

@@yannickvanhoutte4403 Like the old toxic trapper thing.... immobilize then kill them while they're helpless...

[@SquirellDisciple]

as an avid d&d player, I can say that me and my group have definitely done 5 or 6 of these.

[@nehpetsamenied9068]

I love it when you set up a scenario where all the players need to do is talk to someone or inspect something, and instead they run in shouting "Leroy Jenkins" and killing everybody. "That goblin you just slaughtered, guess what, he's the dude who was gonna tell you where the enemy went".