Parasites by Weerdo5255 | Humans are space Orcs | Terrans are OP | TFOS1006

[@dragoncore7376]

I love a good "ignorant immortal vampire gets their shit kicked in" story like this. Really highlights the importance of knowing thy enemy.

[@AgroSquerril]

and keeping up with the world around you

[@TransbianOwl]

I think werewolves would have it best, all they would need to do is becomes man's newest best friend... because we all know there will be at least one person who sees them and goes "Doggo!"

[@chrisdufresne9359]

Mans best friend would gain competition

[@TheCaptNoname]

_* insert a dirty joke about an intercourse with 14 werewolves here *_

[@kriegsmanjaeger5545]

I've been on the internet long enough, I know that they already have.

[@zyanidwarfare5634]

Yeah, and werewolves don’t need to mooch off humans for blood, they just eat anything our dogs would eat really. Hell I’d befriend a werewolf over a vampire

[@ShadowcatAlfa]

damn furries

[@stephenmemelord2303]

"Yo vampire! You know those old flintlock pistols and rifles you loved before you last slept?" "Yeah...?" [revs minigun with holy intent]

[@AgroSquerril]

brrrrrrrrt

[@chrisdufresne9359]

Happy A-10 noises

[@ouberfox5898]

@@chrisdufresne9359 why hasn't enyone mounted one of those canons on a tank yet? Ya it's big and bulky and would probably tip enything less but... enything you point it is going to have a bad time and the morall boost wen it goes is op

[@chrisdufresne9359]

@@ouberfox5898 The recoil from firing the cannon would require too much foundation for stability to allow any kind of mobile ground deployment. The gun itself is over half of the A-10s length.

[@TheSchultinator]

@@ouberfox5898 The A-10's gun can be effective, from the air and targeting the tops, sides, and rears of tanks. It's mostly ineffective against the front of a tank at standard tank combat ranges.

[@Destroyer_V0]

For a character named mary sue. Her skills don't come from nowhere.

[@AgroSquerril]

yup

[@kurtismiller9544]

Modern weapons and technology vs old fashioned monster.... Vivisection is the word of the day!

[@oblivion715]

It means they were still alive.

[@matthewklestinski7030]

That's gonna be one uncomfortable prisoner.

[@seanmunger2740]

Ala monster hunters international

[@CT-1035]

Snip Snip

[@dantreadwell7421]

"Thou can not kill that which doth not live, but you can blow it into chunky kibble"

[@kalskirata42]

"If you know yourself as well as your enemy, you need not fear the outcome of a hundred battles. If you know yourself, but not the enemy; for every victory gained, you will also suffer a defeat. If you know neither the enemy nor yourself, you will succumb in every battle."

[@jyrikgaulderson8041]

Sun tzu says...^ The art of war.

[@jacobfoss7783]

If you know the enemy but not yourself, what the fuck have you been doing, then?

[@DubiousFIN]

​@@jacobfoss7783 whatever the Vampires In this story have been doing

[@continentaltuber8610]

The nanites have demanded total surrender, one of the demands are to hand over all my socks, it was good knowing you all

[@AgroSquerril]

good luck

[@veryangryduckpl2122]

Mary Sue. XD. Finally, Mary Sue who isn't overpowered.

[@Crazylom]

Kinda. But not in a MARY SUE way, breaking laws of universe. She's strong female character, that's all :D

[@veryangryduckpl2122]

@@Crazylom Yep, that was the joke.

[@Crazylom]

@@veryangryduckpl2122 Explaining and being one since 2003

[@erikagehm2805]

@@Crazylom and well written.

[@Crazylom]

@@erikagehm2805 Yeah.

[@zredband]

Apparently they never heard of flamethrowers...

[@ryankaiser2702]

Or napalm

[@dwavenminer]

@@ryankaiser2702 white phosphorus says hello

[@alexs5814]

Hans!! How could it be zat ve hav been vorgotten? Hans! Bring ze Flammenwerfer!

[@erushi5503]

@@alexs5814 werfer flammen it iz

[@alexs5814]

@@erushi5503 I also love that other German weapon. "Nebelwerfer. It werfs nebel."^^

[@erikmckoul2478]

Oh man that vampire is going to experience some horrible things in the near future.

[@genericuser984]

I immediately pictured the TF2 medic laughing maniacally as they strap the vampire into a surgical table

[@AgroSquerril]

not going to have a good century

[@calvingreene90]

Dragon breath rounds for the win.

[@ryf9265]

Now put them in a AA12 shotgun

[@ICountFrom0]

You'd ruin the AA12 before you were even through the magazine, and you do NOT want blowback out of that. In this case your best off with a golf bag of the cheepest, oldest and nastiest bottom scraping double barrels from the back of a farm truck... okay, maybe not 1911's but...

[@calvingreene90]

​@@ICountFrom0 Assuming your propaganda against Dragon breath rounds is true a pump-action still works.

[@ICountFrom0]

If you want to risk firing even a SECOND shot down the barrels after the first ones... you are braver then most. I'd treat anything with those as single shot, fire them, leave them.

[@calvingreene90]

@@ICountFrom0 The evidence doesn't support your position.

[@NoBody-bx4cp]

It doesn't matter if you're a vampire or some kind of super-bioweapon, engineered for defense. A Nutshot hurts. A lot.

[@AgroSquerril]

true

[@serpentinious7745]

Still a better love story than Twilight Someone had to say it

[@AgroSquerril]

lol

[@TheMonkey747]

"Who's a Good Boy? Yes you are! Yes you are!" *wags tail 'Anything for scritches.'

[@seldonwright4345]

Pant pant sniff sniff

[@locomastero]

I had to pause the video at the girl's name and laugh for a solid minute before continuing XD

[@AgroSquerril]

:)

[@alexs5814]

Thought prompt! Will they make their Lawyers into Vamps? just for laughs?

[@Crazylom]

Just imagine - immortal lawyers, with endless potential in mindfecking.

[@alexs5814]

@@Crazylom I was referencing the Bee Movie but you are absolutely correct^^

[@BlueStarr86]

Alucard would approve.

[@AgroSquerril]

:)

[@matthewklestinski7030]

"Bitches love cannons." Is the gun named Seras Victoria?

[@James-bw4np]

There is no way her name is Mary Sue. She broke bones, out thought, and had to fight thru to win. Loved the story though!

[@Mad_Overseer]

This vampires didn't seem that bad and one was in love you with! you could slowly manipulate them into helping the humans

[@erikmckoul2478]

Meh they will do more as test subjects in a lab somewhere.

[@johnnymellon7414]

They didn't seem overly capable of anything grand

[@fist-of-doom487]

She deftly dodged a dumb YA Vampire Story. No one should have to suffer with that kind of baggage

[@decimation9780]

"Enough blunt trauma can kill us." "Bullets cannot harm us." Hmm, apparently these vampires didn’t bother to study physics, otherwise they’d have realized how fucked they were.

[@midgefidget5796]

Yeah, that was my thought also

[@ladymecha8718]

When the military meets vampires

[@k0rf3on6]

Brother? Load the ammunition. The Holy ammunition.

[@kahuna_6424]

I really hope there is a part 2. Mainly because of the last sentence, I interpreted it as the vamp felt betrayed by the one he loves Even though she was totally justified lol

[@elfeater1760]

Thank you for a good reading Argo.

[@AgroSquerril]

a pleasure

[@БорисБалалайкин-м4ю]

Heroine is a literal Mary Sue

[@Destroyer_V0]

Except isn't, cause they got their skills and knowledge from prior military service? Also got saved by their friends bringing along some heavy ordinance. could not be further from her namesake.

[@ceterfo]

Stories like this you make me regret getting into this.

[@sherylcascadden4988]

A comment to appease the algorithm and help the channel.

[@drewahrens3141]

As a Lycan, this story makes me very happy. Lycos Silverblood, Alpha of the Silverblood Lycan Clan.

[@ouberfox5898]

I mean a auto shotgun is a monster hunter. If it won't die it will at least slow it down lots of damage.

[@AgroSquerril]

true

[@Crazylom]

I ulready can imagine those two to be characters in a comedy or/and cartoon

[@thecatlover5093]

Mary Sue? No their name is Anita Blake.

[@discusmaximus]

For the Author(s), for the narrator Agro Squirrel, for the algorithm !!!

[@Bonesaw4444]

I hear quiet clacking noises. Did my socks just move?

[@AgroSquerril]

no comment

[@Bonesaw4444]

@@AgroSquerril Sure that that is no comment?

[@AgroSquerril]

@@Bonesaw4444 yarp

[@erikmckoul2478]

Did you survive the horrors of the moving socks?

[@Bonesaw4444]

@@erikmckoul2478 I am alive but my sock is gone...

[@KroMagnum4]

Nothing like a good kinetic kill weapon😎

[@AgroSquerril]

kentics for the kappow

[@dulizardglasses3170]

The P90 is not an assault rifle…don’t know where they got that idea

[@thesocialistsarecoming8565]

I mean, it does shoot 5.7, so at least as good as a rifle close up.

[@dulizardglasses3170]

@@thesocialistsarecoming8565 yes but it is a sub machine gun. Every media source refers to it as a sub machine gun. I’m just wondering why the people who made the story refer to it as an assault rifle

[@thesocialistsarecoming8565]

@@dulizardglasses3170 why do people misspell basic words when writing or typing and leave it in a final draft? Lack of proofreading id assume would be the cause of an issue like that.

[@dulizardglasses3170]

@@thesocialistsarecoming8565 well yes that could be it but Its kinda wired to me that it’s even in the story. It takes place in the US. And I think most citizens in the US (including myself until recently) knew you could get a P90 also the US military does not use P90s so I don’t know how a few soldiers would snag one from the armory.

[@thesocialistsarecoming8565]

@@dulizardglasses3170 dont get me wrong, im not arguing, but yes, the US military does have P90s. In the SF and SOF communities they use alot of different guns, the green berets even have a working library of almost every gun known to man they might find in a 1st 2nd or 3rd world country, from mp40s to soviet era HMGs to modern high tech. Edit:in fact about 30 years ago they broke out Sten guns for the whole thing that happened in Haiti and used them.

[@TechnoSpectre3]

WOW, this woman is rude. I understand about the abduction, but they didn't force her, don't display sadism, didn't say they were better than or deserved to rule humans. For their kind, they were profusely polite, and got annihilated for their trouble.

[@kriegsmanjaeger5545]

One of them got annihilated the other will get vivisected.

[@jorgecarreras4214]

They broke into her house, broke her freaking arm, chased her down like an animal, tried charrm magic, and wanted her to be grateful that they were "poite" because they didn't immediately chowdown on her in her sleep, and absolutely, positively, refused to let her go, no matter how loudly she objected. They deserved everything they got.

[@gregwunderlich4253]

This needs more. Much more.

[@gabriellecalebq4410]

FOR THE ALGORITHM

[@purpledevilr7463]

*FOR THE ALGORITHM!!!*

[@AgroSquerril]

For the algorithm

[@dogwalter3655]

Exactly what I thought would happen

[@allenmorgan1007]

For the Algorithm, For the Author(s), For the Disembodied Voice!

[@ChrissieBear]

The p90 is not an assault rifle.

[@Nobody-11B]

Technically it's a pistol because of the caliber... PDW maybe.

[@scrapmaker2020]

I need more story’s like this

[@xxKillgorxx]

This is a great story. But I'm sorry in saying that most of the time I'm just wondering where the hell are we? We have our main character being addressed by rank, someone saying they were able to swipe an M107, a full auto P90, a spas 12, and M16s. I admit it could be in there just for the guns looking cool but I'm completely confused who these people are or where we are.

[@SpectorOfDoomYT]

Texas

[@decimation9780]

You’d be surprised at how little a quartermaster looks at what you’re doing if you’re of high enough rank. Also how few soldiers or marines are stationed to guard the armoury in the first place.

[@DEMONOFLOVEANDDEATH]

Bless the Squerril

[@mackenziedrake]

First Mary Sue story like this one I've come across. I love it.

[@Monster_Ink]

I enjoyed this one! For the Algorithm!

[@AgroSquerril]

For the algorithm

[@purpledevilr7463]

*FOR THE ALGORITHM!!!*

[@AgroSquerril]

For the algorithm

[@nos2342]

To please the algorithm is all

[@AgroSquerril]

For the algorithm

[@shadowhenge7118]

Still a vetter story than Twilight... Wait....

[@silverbutterfly1739]

I like Mary she's awesome

[@AgroSquerril]

:)

[@genericuser984]

neat

[@AgroSquerril]

:)

[@theicyphoenix_7745]

damn i lost all my socks to that nanite swarm :/

[@AgroSquerril]

:(

[@pagansavage5267]

Go for 100000

[@georgesaunders6362]

Now that I've clicked the like will I get my sock back?

[@WiredTurkey316]

Crack open a cold one with the boys

[@jimmycoyote74]

For the algorithm

[@AgroSquerril]

For the algorithm

[@USS_Grey_Ghost]

Ok now to domesticate Werewolves

[@josmeijers2818]

F.T.A !

[@ironworksdragon6843]

Booob the drgn

[@AgroSquerril]

boooobs wohooooooo

[@merlinwizard1000]

167th, 7 January 2024

[@wholeeyschmoley580]

So very CHEEKY!!! JAJAJAJA

[@johnjohnjohnson7720]

There's just something off about this story.

[@nelkeranforgeworks7716]

For the algorithm

[@asandrewsilvaw]

For the algorithm