To the Death & Don't mess with Humans | Humans are space Orcs | HFY | TFOS972

Original Story :
/ oc_to_the_death
/ dont_mess_with_humans
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Greetings Ladies and Mentlegents and welcome to my channel where I like to make LEGAL Audiobooks of various types from web novels and short stories. If you are new to the channel then click on the information icon for the entire playlist to help get you up to current faster.
This Oneshot was Taken from the HFY subreddit which hosts mostly Sci-Fi based short stories called oneshots and series. It is done with the Authors Permission.
As Always i hope you enjoy and can find some content on my channel you like. Feel free to recommend a series or a story and i will have a look into it.
{TimeStamps}
00:00 Intro
00:36 To the Death
Don't mess with Humans
#Hfy #Reddit #HumansAreSpaceOrcs
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This Story is Classified as HFY , but what does the Mean?
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HFY is a story/series that takes a “human element” in either humanity or an “other” (race/species or object) that exists in a “setting” (future or other world/universe) with varying levels of culture, technology, society and history that help show in some shape or form the potential good or bad for humanity’s race/culture.
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Taken from the FAQ of the r/HFY subreddit.
This is also a Science Fiction story ,What is Science Fiction?
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Science fiction (sometimes shortened o sci-fi or SF) is a genre of speculative fiction that typically deals with imaginative and futuristic concepts such as advanced science and technology, space exploration, time travel, parallel universes, and extraterrestrial life. It has been called the "literature of ideas", and often explores the potential consequences of scientific, social, and technological innovations.
Science fiction, whose roots go back to ancient times, is related to fantasy, horror, and superhero fiction, and contains many subgenres. However its exact definition has long been disputed among authors, critics, and scholars.
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Taken from Wikipedia
What is Humans are space orcs?
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"Humans are space orcs" is a sci-fi based sub genre where in the galaxy as a whole humans are treated like and or behave such as orcs in our fantasy setting. These traits can be strength regeneration hardiness as well as many others. This sub Genre is closely linked with HFY and Earth is Space Australia. "Humans are space orcs" was made popular by tumblr and has spread to reddit with the aptly names r/Humansarespaceorcs. Humans Are Space Orcs was porpoised by youtuber P.M Seymour bringing it to a new audience.
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[@AgroSquerril]

This weeks writing event is on the way as well as last weeks winners narrations , check it out kzbin.info/www/bejne/gXymZaZ4j7CfjLc

[@russellperry9902]

A plus on thinking outside the box to achieve the crackle sound👍 freaking A my man , good stuff

[@russellperry9902]

I remember you in the 19k subscribers just like it was yesterday.

[@wrath2501]

Xenos: You barbarians committed NUMEROUS WAR CRIMES. Humans: We'll f%@king do it again.

[@alexs5814]

Look, that's on you, bro^^ You killed all the people who could have comrehensively explained to us that rawshafting our beyonetts into your orifices was a War Crime. You also killed all the people with enough influence that could have actually made us stop. The rest will be on the Discovery Channel in a Year or so...

[@ChrissieBear]

"Wanna see me do it again?"

[@shinraset]

😈"Play stupid games win stupid prizes!"

[@involuntaryanalysis]

Do the words "extreme prejudice" mean anything to you?

[@70bronzetheorist61]

"We killed your officers, Surrender!" "....wait, really? Those were the only guys who could MAKE us surrender🤣🤣get the flame throwers."

[@burnerheinz]

Burn the worlds and Boild the oceans

[@aj_the_infamous1013]

@@burnerheinz uses the salt from the boiled ocean to salt the rest of the world... (Aliens) "wtf wtf wtf wtf" (Makeshift general) "what? You killed our leaders, we destroyed everything else"

[@avroarchitect1793]

Flachette rounds loaded

[@burnerheinz]

@@avroarchitect1793 *Dragons breath

[@alonenotlonely1179]

Just one word, NAPALM!

[@bogustoast22none25]

Alien: We have killed your leaders. E1s-E3s: *Confused, look at E-4 for peadership* E4s: ... Most important thing is to have fun, go.

[@ismaeljimenez6562]

E5s: watches it all happen while drinking coffee

[@TheWizel]

A sergeant in motion outranks a standing lieutenant

[@davidragan9233]

@@TheWizel An ordnance technician at a dead run outranks everybody

[@bigmommadeadlock3945]

I've never cackled so much at a youtube comment in my life. Thank you.

[@stevenweaver3386]

@@davidragan9233 🤣👍

[@Inufan2005]

Alien: We killed your leaders, Surrender! Human: Let me teach you why that was a bad idea.

[@lurker8593]

"the officers are there to protect you, not us." *Rabid Death Korps of Krieg in the distance*

[@wastedpotential9945]

*Affixes Bayonet with Righteous Intent*

[@ricardotorrence6459]

*picks up shovel*

[@cgi2002]

Happy gas mask noises.

[@dalemorgan8263]

So what I'm hearing is, there's nobody left to court-martial me for the war crimes I could be committing.

[@cgi2002]

@@dalemorgan8263 it's not war crime, the Geneva contentions only apply to humans. Aliens would be afforded the same rights as animals under current laws, so its not even a war, its pest control.

[@williamcruz5465]

Story two is literally: "We can't break rules if there is no one to enforce them."

[@AgroSquerril]

true

[@tacticaladmiralkuru5468]

"It's never a War Crime, the first time."

[@mannamoth918]

@@tacticaladmiralkuru5468 "Not a war crime if no ones around to call it one"

[@tacticaladmiralkuru5468]

@@mannamoth918 "It's only a war crime if there's evidence."

[@justarandomtechpriest1578]

@@tacticaladmiralkuru5468 not a warcrime the second if no one finds out

[@SiegeTF]

"When hope is dead, and all seems lost, come with me, on a moonlit walk. Restraint level... zero." ~ Alucard (Hellsing (Abridged))

[@alexs5814]

Holy shit YESSSS!!!!!

[@darokdeed]

"What do you even do in your freetime" "Taking walks in the forest..." "Ooookay....." "Enthusiastic walks!"

[@alexs5814]

@@darokdeed The best thing is that there is no one who'd tell me to stop over the comms. Because i swear it's always over the comms!^^

[@donanthebarbarian5177]

@@darokdeed I think you were paraphrasing this conversation: "What did you do?" "I took a enthusiastic stroll through the woods" "And killed a homicidal vampire priest" " a *VERY* enthusiastic walk."

[@mousepointer12]

"When hope is gone, undo this lock, and set me forth, on a moonlit walk. Release restraint level... Z̶̩̲̤͛ ̵̫̟̍̌̀̐͜E̸̛̲̭̻̩̳͔̗̳̓̑̓͘ ̷̧͎̱͎̝̟͔͉͆͛̓̽̑̌R̶̨̝͒͆̃̒͝ ̴̰̖̰̔̋͘̚O̶̡̜̪̻͓̗̦̪̞͖͈͙̭͐̾̂̌̈́̿̆̊̊̋̄̋͠ͅ"

[@johnathanstephenson8107]

Story 1: I wonder if the "berry juice" was like coffee (because coffee comes from a bean/berry)? Story 2: That's the epitome of "In my defense, I was left unsupervised!"

[@brendanmurphy1236]

Coffee comes from a cherry

[@Qilue]

@@brendanmurphy1236 A cherry is a berry.

[@danielstellmon5330]

Story 2: I'm here without supervision. It scares me too, but think of the possibilities.

[@sanityflyer5294]

The reaction of the soldiers after being taken to court for war crimes 😅 "It worked tho-"

[@alexs5814]

"You see, Xenos, we Humans follow a thing called the Rules of Engagement. Those rules regulate how we fight, what we may or may not in the pursue of victory and, most importantly, limit us to tactics that are palatable to the vider galaxy." "You just killed our leadership and obliterated the officer cadre that had the responsibility of leading and limiting us on the battlefield. You just killed the only chance your people had to NOT fall to grievous War Crimes." "War Crimes, yes, we know your species doesn't have a word for those. Now we'll teach you and unfortunately, again for you, we'll have no leaders to tell us to stop." F. T. A.!!!

[@julonkrutor4649]

Tow months later ... reinforcements arrive on that world and find a burning world with a few xenos survievrs aka prisoners and a Sargent in charge. He is sitting above one of those hellfires roating marshmallows 😋

[@alexs5814]

@@julonkrutor4649 the Sarge be like: "Cool! Finaly someone who learned how to take responsibility for our actions!"

[@julonkrutor4649]

@@alexs5814 The officer to the sarge: "I am allmost afraid to ask, but WTF DID YOU GUYS DO TO THOSE POOR SOULS??? There is one how litterly shits himself everytime i LOOK at him. I do not even want to speak about wath happend when i tryed talking to them!"

[@alexs5814]

@@julonkrutor4649 "Well, you see Officer: Them 'xenos murdered all o' our leadin' cadre in cold blood. Even the Officers. We liked our officers. So me an' a few others rounded up all the boys and just told them to go to the ground an' teach them god'damn aliens what it means to fear the forests, grasses and the land itself." "Youu...? You went guerillia warfare on them?" "Naah Officer. We went full stone cold savage on them."

[@julonkrutor4649]

@@alexs5814 The officer: "First, lets put this down as combat related stress ... i mean you did it because of that. Secound, Never do something like this again ... the paperwork alone will be a nightmare and do not get me started on the legal side. But we can iron this out as long as you and your boys and girls say and do wath i tell you to do and say. Do you understand me Sarge?" in a lower voice: "3th ... do you have photos or vids? We can not use them for propaganda but i really would like to see wath you did and how ... purly so i never do something like it ever!"

[@taitano12]

"All right, they’re on our left, they’re on our right, they’re in front of us, they’re behind us…they can’t get away this time” - Lewis B. Chesty Puller, USMC

[@ianhogben3472]

That's what I call a target rich environment

[@ryantomer4126]

@@ianhogben3472 So a giant 7-11?

[@raeishimura]

The poor fools in the second story. The officers are the ones who hold the chains of the wild beasts that human soldiers are. They ground us in in civility, in reason, they limit us so that we may not become as demons loosed from the depths of hell. It is the officers who remind us of the rules of war, for the troops can't waste the time to learn them all. You cut the chains that bind us Xenos, a grave mistake indeed. With humans, you are not cutting the head from a snake, but from a hydra. And losing one, a hundred more take its place, and none of them have any restraint anymore.

[@WE_DONT_LIE]

HAIL HYDRA

[@Br0ck3n]

@@WE_DONT_LIE HAIL HYDRA!!!

[@gmailquinn]

" did they just take out the officer?" Yep. "So beat everyone?" YES!!! - the fat electrician

[@haroldcarfrey4206]

Also the Rule of the Little Group of Paratroopers (LGOPs).. This is, in its purest form, small groups of pissed-off 19 year old American paratroopers. They are well trained. They are armed to the teeth and lack serious adult supervision

[@nathanvega6281]

What video was that. I know about the fat electrician just don’t know the video you are referring to.

[@yourfriendlyneighborhoodtr2331]

When I saw “too the death” I knew things were about to go down You _never_ challenge a human to the death. The medieval and early Victorian eras proved this _immensely_

[@westcoaststacker569]

I was thinking Princess Bride, which it ended up being with the drinking...

[@W0X42A]

@@westcoaststacker569 And with the same result. The one who is accustomed to the poison survived.

[@janet6421]

@@westcoaststacker569 Ha-ha, you fool! You fell victim to one of the classic blunders, the most famous of which is “Never get involved in a land war in Asia,” but only slightly less well known is this: “Never go in against a Sicilian, when death is on the line!” (thump)

[@nicholashernandez4611]

On that last one: they didn’t kill the masters and make the animals docile, they simply removed that which held the leash and the fury within. Rip and tear, fellow humans. Rip and tear.

[@ballisticm0use72]

Until it is done

[@ryf9265]

Aliens: we killed all your officers Krieg Guardsmen: GAS MASK BREATHING INTENSIFIES

[@tdofducksplays]

*Human drinking scotch* Alien: “Human what are you drinking?” Human: “Scotch” Alien: “What does it contain.” Human: “Ah ethanol the good stuff.” Alien: “YOU DRANK WHAT?!”

[@alexs5814]

Xenos: "But... but? You fuel your rockets with that?" Human: "That's the neat part, we don't, anymore.^^"

[@tdofducksplays]

Alien: “Then then w-w-what do you use?” Human: “We just vent plasma from our reactors and use a special engine to convert the raw plasma waste into motion.”

[@alexs5814]

@@tdofducksplays Alien:"So you create Plasma as an extremely complicated process and then you simply let ambient physics convert it to kinetic energy??!?1" Human: "Yepp^^" Alien: "Incoherent screaming"

[@donaldscholand4617]

It's interesting how often human tolerance for alcohol comes up in these stories. I once read a time-travel story in which a time-cop from the future escapes from a sticky situation in the past because he'd filled his canteen with 100 proof vodka and just waited for his pre-distilation era captors to get drunk and pass out. On the other hand, I've read stories where a key element of alien diplomacy concerned finding out what chemical substances would make a newly encountered species drunk!😆

[@bradleymcginnes6824]

I really think some alien species would know about distilled spirits and seeing humans making fermented drinks like wine or mead would be like rediscovering some lost art.

[@avroarchitect1793]

Capsaicin, the chemical that makes peppers spicy is a neurotoxin to insects. Any alien that develops like an insect here on earth would be affected the same way.

[@aleisterlavey9716]

@@avroarchitect1793 this is sooooo space racist from you 😆 just because the look and evolved like insects doesn't mean they have something biological relevant in common

[@nullpoint3346]

It's because human civilization only exists because of beer/wine. Wheat beer, Grape "Red" wine, Rice wine and various other alcoholic beverages born of the common "grains" for their eras.

[@ernestmac13]

@@nullpoint3346 true, it was the only way to purify water until we understood boiling water could purify it.

[@UNSCrearadmiral]

As for the second story I'm going to paraphrase someone I've been watching on KZbin recently Don't got after the officers, but if you do remember, "It's not a War Crime the First Time"

[@ariannarichardson7713]

I love his videos

[@brianpeterson570]

Amen to the Fat Electrician

[@dj82020]

No Survivors, no witnesses, no evidence, no War crime......

[@kurtismiller9544]

LoL let the booze hound play with the crustacean. Game over man... The officers are there to make sure we play by the "rules", no officers, no RULES!

[@truekurayami]

There are still rules without officers. They go as follow. 1. Don't attack your team unless absolutely necessary 2. Do what ever it takes to ensure the enemy stops attacking you and your team. 3. If enough people survived figure out who is the new "officer" for when you get home.

[@jnorth3341]

For anyone who wondered; Skipper: "captain or master of a ship," late 14c., from Middle Dutch scipper, from scip (see ship (n.))

[@dusanradin5868]

Or Viking....

[@komrade223]

That last story is the epitome of "YOU'RE NOT MY SUPERVISOR!"

[@UnknownOps]

We were getting sick of commands telling us what to do and what to avoid, but thanks for freeing us. Aliens: "Wait, Wha-" The last sounds of Strike Team Zulu before they were mowed down by the Newly founded organization called Humanity Armed Liberation Front.

[@calvinsmithjr6904]

The U.S. military has a saying called "default aggression"

[@BreandanOCiarrai]

Alien: "We've killed all of your officers!" Army Infantry and Marines: "Ooooo, Skippy, that was dumb. They were the ones keeping us from doing the insane shit we're famous for. What we're about to do to you WILL be brought up the next time Geneva has a convention, bub."

[@ryantomer4126]

Oh shit the guy in charge is candian... those xenos didn't realize it but... the game was rigged from the start

[@epsome13]

The second story is literally an example of the fat electrician episode on military officers where if you kill the officer you just killed the only guy who gave a frick about excessive use of force, cost, and in general kept the soldiers under control so they don't do the most balls to the wall stunts that they know will work.

[@HammarPwnsYourFace]

They are certainly certified babysitters…. God, buddah, ah’lah, ect. Help. Anyone that takes out the officers. Shit its abt to get really explosive 🧨. It’s almost like a built-in safety device to keep us from going totally insane and scorching everything. We recognize that we are in sane and we try to keep the leash on it but it worse goes to worst. Fuck it. You had it coming….

[@amorphoussolid8512]

For the first story, I would be thrilled to have a skipper I could have a drink with.. As for the second.....wel. Our leaders are there to lead us away from the terrible trouble that is us unguided. They are there to tell us that poisoning this is against that law and setting fire to all that is against this law. A single human can commit a war crime without any malice, just as the function of solving an annoying situation. Killing our leaders sometimes just means that the brakes are not only off but that you have ripped the brakes off and thrown them away while standing in our path. We find that to be an annoying situation. Drinking with us is still a safer possibility than fighting us, especially when we are unrestrained.

[@salva3017]

Aliens: *Kills the comanders* Humans: Listen here a lesson in trickery

[@kennethhummel4409]

That’s why the nanites are taking the socks! They’re using them to filter raw alcohol for their fuel supply’s!

[@Cursedzeba]

Story two is probably the future American and British marines glad to finally use their toys. “Its never a war crime the first time”

[@CrisperPoet]

First story was great, 9/10. Second one was also really good, but short for my preference. 8.5/10.

[@RealArcalian]

Greetings Mentlegent! For the Rhythm that is Algo Story 1: "Copulatingly much" HA! Drink them under the table! Story 2: Yes, like the aliens learned my story, you NEVER want to hear that laugh!

[@zarlsalamandersspacemarine302]

We have been drinking Alcohol for thousands of years, we have quite a tolerance

[@henrypaleveda7760]

ahh, scorched earth, an act of spite and total war. I wonder how many alien races would share such practices.

[@Twokeeshonds]

These stories are so much better than any of the last few years of movies. And the narration is impeccable. I love it.

[@calvingreene90]

I'd guessed the punchline "The officers aren't here to lead us but restrain us."

[@avroarchitect1793]

Officers provide leadership on the strategic level. But it is hard to have a strategic level when the enemy army suddenly ceases to exist

[@peanutmadcow416]

@@avroarchitect1793 not a stagic issue if there isnt an issue in the first place

[@avroarchitect1793]

@@peanutmadcow416 Amen to that

[@LostPeopleOfEarth158]

I love the Scottish accent. It's just so fun and whimsical while also making people sound way scarier.

[@AgroSquerril]

:)

[@kingnekogon]

Oh dear, they killed the one holding the leashes to the grunt's kiddie vests. They're in for a bad time.

[@alexlaw8440]

The second story is the purest example ive seen of "the officers are the ones who wont use excessive force because it costs too much. The enlisted just want to see what color you burn"

[@davidatkinson47]

A double shot of scorch for the algorithm.

[@darkasura5370]

Don't tell me they just detonated all the nukes on planet earth........

[@brandoncampbell9144]

I think they either did that or they use every flame weapon they had on the enemies

[@johntaco861]

@@brandoncampbell9144 or they fucking bombed them with mortar shells for days

[@darkasura5370]

@@brandoncampbell9144 well for me your second suggestion is well... Wouldn't that make more collateral damage than nukes will? Don't get me wrong that nukes are powerful but you can still control where you'll blow it up, however a with big enough fire it can become so uncontrollable that it can impact human settlements and make more losses than just surrendering

[@zacharyhawley1693]

Well actually worse than nukes. Scorched Earth essentially means everything is a target and everything goes.

[@ndt_dynamite2247]

I love the smell o Napalm in the mornin!

[@disgustingweeb]

*Loads T-203 Thermite Launcher with malicious intent*

[@AgroSquerril]

pew , splat , swooosh

[@brennanlangless8912]

Scorched earth is a good way of getting interesting glass fragments

[@darwinskeeper421]

The cool part about the first story is that the human was traveling with an alien race that was as about as resistant to ethanol as the humans.

[@grogvaughan5649]

Story 2: The E4 Mafia just got let off the leash without oversight. Would Love to see a part 2.. lol..

[@galbert117]

As TheFatElectrician once said (paraphrasing of course): The officers are there to make sure the grunts follow the Geneva Convention.

[@strykerwaller3784]

Got work in 3 hours, I’m supposed to be asleep, but I can’t stop watching. Making this comment, I’m swearing that this will be the last before I force myself to sleep, but thank you for the awesome content Agro! This whole thing has inspired me to make content a bit similar to yours or write stories like the ones you read. We’ll see where this all goes, but good stuff in the meantime!

[@Tecatris]

The last one. They just made the janeva convention a check list

[@john_mystery]

“The nanite swarms will steal your OTHER sock.” For some reason this just made me grin.

[@DarkVeghetta]

If sci-fi has taught me anything, is that Kr'grellin now has the hots for Jones and, as is tradition, he shall oblige.

[@roboticintelligenceunit1a652]

Hah, as soon a si heard “grasped his mandibals” I knew what had happened Foods that have spice in them will kill bugs due to their dygestivesystem but because of ours it has no effect. Plus he couldn’t use an assasin’s teapot as it said “jug”

[@TranscendentACE]

Your annunciation of Biiiii'lx was stunning 🤣👌

[@AgroSquerril]

:)

[@frannymeh]

This is the comment I was looking for 😆

[@scotteggert9820]

Ah, a nice single malt Kentucky Whisky. The best way to diffuse a hostile situation. And the role of Officers. They don't protect their troops from the enemy. They protect the enemy from their troops.

[@zeehero7280]

"Hostile Ship, 2 AU to starboard" at least its not in visual range, not realistic at all. space combat would be at extreme ranges. I dont know about measured in astronomical units, but definitely no visual contact.

[@dusanradin5868]

Actually,it would be more than realistic.Why would you need visual in Space?Nothing to see anyway.Wven 2 AU seems awfully close.If you have working radar,LIdar,proximity alert system,you don't need visual acclamation.Shiels/deflectors yes,visuals no.

[@zeehero7280]

@@dusanradin5868 That is what I said. no one is going to be needing visual contact in space. 2 AU may be a little too far unless your ammunition is FTL since even at light speed your shots would take whole minutes to reach the target.

[@dusanradin5868]

@@zeehero7280 Not neccesary(about the ammo),just follow basic laws of physics ...besides who said we cant use plasma or other type of energy weapon?In such cases,energy storage is the key and the cooling,as well as range.

[@zeehero7280]

@@dusanradin5868 Plasma weapons will not even reach the speed of light, and definitely will not go faster lol. At a distance of more than an astronomical unit that leaves at least a few minutes to impact. If the sun is a few light minutes from earth, that means 1 AU would take light minutes to cross. Which means it could take hours for a projectile to reach a target, giving them way too much time to evade.

[@dusanradin5868]

@@zeehero7280 I myself am not so good with physics,but i'm sure there's a way we can do SOMETHING to speed up our weapons.After all we are only good for war and lifting heavy cargo,right?

[@garysprandel1817]

Xenos: We've just killed all of your officers. Humans: looks like we're adding a new chapter or two to the Geneva conventions boys.

[@Wastelandman7000]

First Story: never try to drink a human under the table. Second story: war crimes incoming!

[@JAGraptor]

7:09 Seriously, are we about to recreate that scene from The Princess Bride!?

[@Renegadebane]

We're out in space minding our own business, bored out of our minds, ingesting poisons we just found recreationally, and you just killed the only people on this ship that even read the cover of rules of engagement. _sound of chainswords starting_ Thanks.

[@eliandervalderen5849]

That poor alien Commander better make a priority message to his leaders his only priority before the human soldiers come down on him. They need to know do not kill human Command Staff otherwise all bets are off

[@icefire5799]

Love the thumbnail for this episode nice to see the Orion from time to time.

[@codyspradley6277]

At least they didn't shoot at doc

[@gmailquinn]

Yet

[@discusmaximus]

For the Author(s), for the narrator Agro Squirrel, for the algorithm !!!

[@Eramiserasmus]

Algorithm be praised. Now please redirect the nanites away from my sock drawer.

[@tonyroldan2437]

2nd story: The president from his ultra secret hidden bunker; Oh God! The E4s are now in charge! I hope there's only one type of alien or we're gonna end up against the entire Galaxy!

[@frannymeh]

I love the pronunciation of Biiii'lx 😆

[@AgroSquerril]

:)

[@yomogami4561]

anyone else think of 'the duel between vizzini and the dread pirate roberts' in the first story when he pulled out a flask and two glasses?

[@StoryStoneoffical]

Love this channel!

[@iamlucas6262]

That first story was funny

[@victortahlor4038]

Thank you for the reading

[@merrick1588]

Second Story: What happens when aliens have never heard of NCO's

[@eleethtahgra7182]

2nd story; so...its basically the death korps of krieg after their commissar died.

[@merlinathrawes746]

The officers are there to prevent massacres... yours, not ours.

[@mac-gyver1152]

Concept officers are like the military equivalent of a regulator. There main job is to make sure the grunts don't kill everyone. Also it's not a war crime the first time.

[@CharlesMartel-bd5du]

Love the last story.

[@Cadiangrunt99]

fun reads.

[@darkhawkgaming3238]

Just remember officers exist to make sure it is the genava convention, not the genava checklist

[@Wastelandman7000]

Not the other sock! Oh noooooooooooooooooo!

[@owenhammond1880]

This reminds me of that scene from the movie Princess Bride. The battle of wit's.

[@Kualinar]

First one... That was just a little shooter glass. Chief could have doubled that with ease. As for that hulking crustacean... That would have been to much. Second one, or mess/fuck about and find out.

[@joshuawilliams8921]

Story#1 Never challenge a Navy Chief to a drinking competition Story #2 It’s the officers that keeps the human soldiers of inventing New war crimes and keeps them from enacting the old ones as well Lol

[@Sanquinity]

"Wait, our officer, the only one keeping us to the rules, is dead? Exterminatus is back on the menu boys!"

[@thunderbird4636]

Hell yeah awesome story!

[@AgroSquerril]

glad you enjoyed

[@blazerblitz6073]

FOR THE ALGORITHM!!!

[@DEMONOFLOVEANDDEATH]

Bless the Squerril

[@theonetodefyall238]

keeper going

[@kerbalairforce8802]

That last story had me thinking: Geneva Convention ☹️ Geneva Suggestions 🤔 Geneva Checklist 😈

[@judahschultz]

Last story had me thinking: Canada?!

[@festumstultorum1462]

oh hell the last one reminds me of so many things....

[@blackouthorus1519]

Just had stellaris ad play before this story its a sign

[@alendonvaldor5808]

You honestly nailed the Scottish brogue

[@AgroSquerril]

:)

[@Gabryal77]

So is it just me or was the Noble Captain putting the moves on her First officer there at the end

[@VadulTharys]

F T A Story 2 That had to be a Gunny

[@dragonriderabens9761]

I think TheFatElectritian explained the 2nd story best Or just look at the story of the USS Texas

[@markuhler2664]

A Chief winning a battle by drinking? Somebody is a Sailor. In the second while I enjoyed (& probably agree with the ... um, theme?) in the current US military there are very few people who aren't leaders. The officers generally handle the crappy side of management (the damn administrative parts), or at least I did. The actual killers were the Enlisted. No paperwork would get done in that scenario, but plenty of blood would be spilled.

[@theduke7539]

officers are the only ones who care about "costs" and "excessive use of force." Youre about to become past tense, its just a matter of how. -The Fat Electrician

[@texasforever7887]

The word skipper comes from the Dutch schipper, from schip, or "ship."

[@banana1700]

Banana praises Agro

[@Jason-sm4oc]

For the Agro rithm

[@martisendrell9305]

This story needs follow up

[@IshijimaKairo]

"Don't mess with humans" How about I do anyway?

[@jeanannd]

LOL, once alien pirates realize drink is not going to kill humans, the humans can challenge them to eating hot, spicy chili. 2nd story: When will pirates realize that they give humans a reason to slip once more into the violence of primitive times? Guess they would have to survive to realize that though. ;)

[@arakheno4051]

For Agro Socks

[@allenmorgan1007]

For the Algorithm, For the Author(s), For the Disembodied Voice!

[@AgroSquerril]

for the algorithm