The Energy Trade by Lost Carcosan | Humans are space Orcs | HFY | TFOS966

[@AgroSquerril]

Only 15 hours left on this weeks writing event , All stories submitted have been hearted to make it easier to find. Head over read and vote 🙂 kzbin.info/www/bejne/qqXJZ2mZq7F3aLc

[@Sparrow_Bloodhunter]

bruh just imagine sweating pure gold, humanity would single handedly crash their energy based economy.

[@tno895]

One resident human moves in... Two years later, the station has regular heating and atmosphere. Fires dance in hearths. So many ships are vising daily you need permission just to leave

[@TrueFork]

LOL so the humans mistake the mining tool shops and what not for art galleries? The alien technology must look pretty interesting

[@johnnymellon7414]

Considering what the alien translator produced, I imagine they might have looked like jewelry

[@masterpython]

There is a lot of sculpture made of human mining and farming machines.

[@Sinyao]

Using energy as currency? My first thought was rich people keeping nukes in their pocket.

[@adammcfall5133]

Since we are nuclear beings, using potassium among other elements, we're emitting small amounts of gamma radiation and the excess heat produced is on the infrared. Fission, fusion, and friction, can be used as trade in that particular stretch of the galactic arm. A nuke would probably be to hot for them to be around, but that's where my mind went too.

[@МихаилРозов-ю9п]

@@adammcfall5133 In that part of the galaxy, a barrel of oil remained a solid currency even in the space age. (6 billion joules. While the heat output of the human body is a puny 17 million joules per day... which is unexpectedly enough to roast a pack of tarascs.)

[@alexanderzhmurov9624]

@@МихаилРозов-ю9п vacuum of space is (always) a fascinating place to be in... never ending surprises and discoveries

[@alwelle3902]

@@МихаилРозов-ю9п holy carp. I just did the math. 1 gram of Pu-238 gives off 0.57 watt (Joules per second) ... Time 3600 seconds * 24 hours * 365 days * 30 years ... Roughly 540,000,000 joules a gram. (Well, less considering decay ... but a LOT.) One gram of Pu-238 is worth 50-100 BARRELS of oil. Figuring oil weighs 300 pounds at 454 grams a pount. 1g Pu-238 = 6.8 million grams of oil Going to be a serious pain making change ...

[@crowsenpai5625]

A energy in a human tactical nuke would probably be the entire worth of that station and everything in it 100x over.

[@basrengangetch.2042]

Imagine having a fever "yes, yes you're sick. But just hang on a little longer, I need to buy that new ship before it's gone."

[@theredknight3736]

'mama needs a new pair of shoes'

[@SkyboxMonster]

okay. imagine if the humans traded a very tiny themo-electric generator. it made electricity. AND heat. and would run for many cycles. imagine the trade value of that.

[@theredknight3736]

just imagen if they give them a nuclear generator

[@masonwilliams1345]

"Id like to buy your planet." "What would be worth such a ridiculous price?" Humanity shows off a space heater hooked up to a heat sink making what is basically infinite money for them. "Give us a few years to pack."

[@alexandermathieson4774]

i think that level of heat would cause an economic break down and reduce the value of money. or create beings so powerful that there would be a power vacuum. its a nice thought though.

[@KertaDrake]

@@theredknight3736 "Hey, we've got this thing we've been working on... It's a nuclear fusion generator. Wait, why are all your economists jumping out the windows?"

[@georgerowe9166]

@@alexandermathieson4774 Yes, it would be like Spain when the Conquistadors started shipping all the gold ect back from the Americas. Economic collapse where a loaf of bread was worth more than a pound of gold.

[@normiesalvador1854]

This is one of the more truly alien perspectives to tell a story. Excellent reading as always.

[@AgroSquerril]

Glad you enjoyed it

[@alexanderzhmurov9624]

One of my favourite types!

[@Acirno]

After so many years of Trek and Wars, It took me a hot minute to catch on, Really a brilliant story. As always well done on the reading/narrating.

[@Aolsucs]

I LOVE truely alien ideas like this one. And the way Gashvorn described the humans was like Tolkien talking about the elves and I love it so much more for that.

[@SirMarshalHaig]

More humans are space elves than orcs for sure

[@BrownieBatterKing]

Neat, im a practical space heater, call me a money machine

[@2MeterLP]

Though if our waste heat is worth enough to exchange for goods, imagine what the food needed to create that heat would cost.

[@Wraithfire27]

Same

[@radioactiveassassin5218]

Mr. ATM

[@chaosfriedeggz6014]

Imagine having your own personal army paid with hand warmers or just by you yourself exercising 😂

[@barelyasurvivor1257]

"Wow You Humans Are Hot" I love the concept and the fact that the humans are totally missing why they are liked so much, and given so many "free" gifts They really are like walking Banks or ATM's, and they have no idea of why really. Just generating vast amounts of heat as they go, and such musical voices.

[@Furzkampfbomber]

Yeah, the human ignorance is really funny, but hey, it works out great for both sides, so...

[@Hellsong89]

@@Furzkampfbomber Except inputting that much energy into system witch economy works on energy will cause massive inflation and eventually economic collapse from so much energy. I'm just complexed sure they dont have sun around, but how the hell they are providing power for the station and havent noticed the uranium for instance, witch could be used as energy source, well as providing so much heat it would crash the economy in one go by just mention its existence or latest when its turned on.

[@eliandervalderen5849]

Imagine what it would have been like if they met the human torch or the Hulk. Those to radiate heat like small Stars.

[@AgroSquerril]

lol

[@alexs5814]

and now imagine what would be if they met one of our humans with a truly marvellous voice? like imagine them listening to a recording of Sir Christopher Lee? or maybe Andrea Bocelli? so many possibilities^^

[@labella9291]

@@alexs5814 Andrea Bocelli... or who my family calls the voice of god, lol. You forgot the sublime baritone of James Earl Jones, lol. People joke about Morgan Freedman reading a phone book, but JEJ beats him out IMO, lolol

[@karasuchrono]

I loved this one. The idea of a species that exists naturally in a vacuum is amazing, and thinking of how they communicate differently is eye opening

[@kurtismiller9544]

ROFL!! They were just blowing off a little steam so to speak lol. Totally different biology we are literally too hot to handle.

[@AgroSquerril]

yarp

[@ihtfp01]

In the depths of space, the algorithm will keep you warm....

[@AgroSquerril]

For the algorithm

[@williambarnes5023]

*"Gashvorn wasn't sure he could imagine these beings as threatening."* heh. Heheh. AHAHA. You like heat? We can teach you about heat.

[@crowsenpai5625]

Xenos “these humans couldn’t really do anything too dangerous.” Humans “ *you ever see something split an atom?* “

[@hyperlanceitex6149]

I think that my favorite part of this is the fact that, depending on frequency of interaction, humans may never figure out how their system works, and will just constantly be able to take anything they wish because of all the heat they give off

[@SirMarshalHaig]

Imagine bringing a burning candle with you. Like Midas

[@RensStoryteller]

Well... humans seem to be getting along nicely... *falls back unable to keep myself from laughing* this is amazing!

[@zedekiahstephens4161]

Listening to this reminds me of that one Doctor Who episode where everyone is giving out gifts and the Doctor gives out “breath from my lungs”

[@crowsenpai5625]

Kind reminds me of the story of the King of Mali, the richest person who ever lived who went on a tour around the world to show everyone how rich he was an consequently crashed the economy of every place he visited.

[@alexanderzhmurov9624]

It's nice to finally see humanity being so liked and be so useful, even if in a such an unexpected capacity... BYOA LOL 😂👍

[@Awesomewithaz]

Imagine having a holy festival and 3 beings descend and essentially give out free money by existing

[@suraivase7285]

"The god/goddess/diety of wealth has blessed us on this glorious day! Rejoice!"

[@WiredTurkey316]

Damn space hippies are going to ruin the local economy by paying for everything with hugs.

[@steve2008s]

Ahhh nice. every place has to much of one thing and not enough of another. I think DS9 had Nog say the lines. Thank you Mr. Squerril for another good reading.

[@AgroSquerril]

a pleasure , glad you enjoyed

[@nicholashernandez4611]

Yes, the balance of the galaxy. No one place has a surplus of everything, and every single parsec of this galaxy has something that another would gladly accept as trade. You only need a Ferengi to find those needs and surpluses, be willing to make the trip, and of course take their cut. Warping through space with a ship full of cargo and latinum, there is nothing more fine for the merchant. For a merchant, THAT is living.

[@sergeantpete6295]

Love the concept, but think of it in industrial sized terms. You could buy whole planets and systems just for the heat output of our power generating systems. There's always a catch, not sure what it is in this version of reality.

[@AgroSquerril]

true

[@TrueFork]

You'd have to capture, store and deliver it though, and they could only sell you cold dead space rocks since these aliens apparently can't go anywhere near a star

[@robertbemis9800]

Sounds like most worlds humans would want are up to grabs because we like to be near stars On the other hand we are high maintenance, we lose to much energy we die

[@sergeantpete6295]

@@TrueFork Well, that would be part of that "catch" I mentioned. A couple of counter points though are in order. The humans did not have to capture/store the body heat that afforded them carte' blanche on the station. Admittedly, the shop keepers were in a good position to do those things themselves (enclosed shops). All the humans needed to do was show up and "deliver" the heat. Secondly, and more importantly, there might be dozens or hundreds of inhabitable planets within the "Goldilocks" zones of star systems all these frigid aliens own. "Give us Antares IV to colonize, and we shall install and maintain a fusion plant on the smallest moon of Antares VIII where you can withdraw as much heat, and electricity as you like, whenever you like." The story mentions off-handedly that these aliens have no use for "hot" planets like Earth. I really like this story, but I can't help but feel that the exchange rate is askew. A single Human with a 5 gallon can of gasoline would be rich beyond his wildest dreams. Also, how the hell do these aliens create ships and space stations and all the stuff they produce if simple human body heat is worth thousands of credits? How do they form the hulls of their ships? Crystalline Ammonia or something? Fighting them would be a breeze, a small laser would vaporize a whole ship.

[@aleisterlavey9716]

Distance.

[@ckl9390]

I like the translator devices' stopgap interpretations of the other language, and how it is almost unintelligible but still conveys some basic meaning.

[@suraivase7285]

I think it's a realistic representation on what the technology would be like if we used some basic form of A.I to help us translate alien languages. The way these translators work feels somewhat similar to those programs that you get to teach how to talk via having a conversation.

[@miclang1436]

If the nanite take my other sock then both socks are gone and I need not wounder about unpaired socks or odd numbers of sock...this is a good thing!

[@AgroSquerril]

true

[@got2kittys]

The nanite swarm crosses the dimensions, to a place where all lost socks go.

[@theenderdestruction2362]

@@got2kittys the washing diminenshion

[@robertschumacher2707]

''You humans are hot!' as far as the humans in this story are concerned: 'I do not think that means what you think it means' -Inigo Montoya.

[@Deubler]

These sorts of stories that really question how different potential life could be as the premise for their conflict are exactly what I come back for, and this one seemingly mundane concept was masterfully adapted. Absolutely adored this one.

[@thethingwithfins]

"You humans are hot!" ..... OH MY GOD HUMMANITY IS GONNA GET THE WRONG IDEA AS A SPECIES

[@MrJay_White]

alien: we trade heat human: flexxx

[@alexs5814]

You know i originally thought it would be a joke about how the alien trader was unsatisfied with the low chain length of the methane the humans produced in vivio (read= farting). but this turned out to be waay cooler. i wonder how long this cultural pehenomenon will last untill someone finally spends more time there and finds out how hopelessly uninformed we were about the social structures in this galaxy. additionally: imagine the shock and reverence of the traders if they ever found out that humans actually CAN produce low yield flammable gasses inside of their digestive tracts but find the notion socially unacceptable because of manners. it would break their perception of reality^^

[@Valeomega1996]

Welp humanity just broke their economy. I mean we literally have ways to disperse excess heat aka sweating so basically we could pay them by making a gym in their space.

[@pokemongamer6021]

Wouldn't that be nice. Pay for a whole ship with just an aerobics session.

[@cgi2002]

Consider that a fart has, to them, immense value. It's both warm and contains gases they value. I want to met aliens who litterally give me stuff every time I fart.

[@UNSCPILOT]

Don't show them Nuclear Reactors, they might literally melt

[@ceilinglight1413]

@@UNSCPILOT sell them the waste product's

[@williambarnes5023]

That's the thing about trading energy: You can't crash the energy economy. Energy is, literally, work. If you have "too much" energy, more work is being done, and more wealth is being created. Nothing is being devalued, everyone is just actually getting richer, because more goods and services are being created and performed, and you have enough energy to buy the goods and services with.

[@giancarlobacosa2546]

Humans: sure *pulls out an RBMK reactor* Aliens: is this safe? Humans: yes

[@crayonchomper1180]

if they think humans are great for our body heat, imagine what they would think of Nuclear energy

[@UNSCPILOT]

Or Nuclear weapons, such a mind numbingly large discharge of light heat and radiation just to destroy a target, lethal extravagance

[@tno895]

@@UNSCPILOT "Hey Grbbtshth! Here's that energy I owe ya!"

[@Terran.Marine.2]

It was a nice surprise for humans to be so admired for just being ourselves. It does beg a bit for a second story told from the human perspective, I reckon.

[@KertaDrake]

Must be interesting to have a species that is literally a walking money fountain walking around!

[@samueltrusik3251]

A single person running on a treadmill would be a millionaire on this station.

[@NAH1907]

For the algorithm, I always like these types of HFY. I always wondered what type of currency or trade would be like. Good video

[@AgroSquerril]

For the algorithm

[@TheBigE9999]

Watch me stroll in like mansa musa to wreck the local economy

[@r.i.p.4485]

Lol, this story actually made me smile even though I usually only enjoy battle stories. Bravo bravo.

[@alexanderzhmurov9624]

Actually, personally at least, I think this is my new favourite type of story, like _"Half a gram,"_ and some others like it, like this

[@russellgilson3536]

This is probably the most unusual but realistic human and alien interaction ive heard. Very entertaining and thought provoking.

[@kirkjones9639]

Fur the Algorerithm! Next time I'll not be drinking coffee, at the punch line!

[@StarSong936]

I don't remember which science fiction series it was, but there was one where the currency (while on paper) was listed as BTU's (British Thermal Units). Also a Kwahr (Kilowatt Hour or 1K BTU's per hour).

[@silence___]

Jokes on you I already ate that sock

[@AgroSquerril]

oh well....

[@mfree80286]

@@AgroSquerril Jokes on him, the nanites aren't going to stop...

[@williamchandler2937]

The second was a gem of story writing, rRe and great.

[@davidteh3807]

Human : Here a can of "carbon monoxide" . Thank ! Vacuum Alien : holy ! I'm going to retire now !

[@thatangelrey6659]

This story feels less like *humans are space orcs* the more like *humans are space else*

[@Type_blazenil]

The thing I find the most hilarious is that humans are by far the single best species at radiating Heat

[@borwinschenck8873]

After 1000+ hours spent listening to Aggro Squirrel i can say that this is the best story he has narrated so far

[@AgroSquerril]

:)

[@Luthor_]

At least the aliens didn’t vaporize from being too close to the humans

[@suraivase7285]

So I guess in this humans are pretty much seen as space elves.

[@arakheno4051]

For the Socks!

[@AgroSquerril]

for the no socks!

[@boingboingresearcherph.d.2871]

Sweet! Free goods!!! I never thought having a fever could be beneficial!!!

[@amorphoussolid8512]

Damn, I would live the life of Royalty! I'm a living furnace

[@nachoakajrod]

That was a very interesting idea. Truly alien but at the same time very plausible. Well done! The narration was also good as always.

[@cosaicole7139]

Bob the dragon is straight up the dopest

[@jasontwynn7356]

That is so people like,art. What the hell? Great party,we can find or bring that anywhere we go.

[@fordprefect1587]

I can see one very big problem with using energy as a currency: inflation. All it takes is one Dyson swarm, and the entire galactic economy will get backhanded into the Iron Age. That’s not even the worst of it: get one black hole and some mirrors, and the resulting super-radiant scattering generator will produce enough energy that their economy will instantly vanish. If the aliens have already tapped into such sources of energy, they would need to carry an entire star around with them if they reasonably want to buy anything. The energy of an entire galaxy is simply too plentiful to use as currency. Then there’s the problem of paying your power bill. Paying for energy with energy, but everyone needs some amount of energy or they die.

[@Orange_Tree_]

Last phrase snuck upon me and stole my femurs

[@nvfury13]

These aliens would love me, I generate electricity (about the same as a double A battery according to volt meters, most people don’t even register at the same sensitivity setting) and have a body temp a full degree Fahrenheit higher than normal.

[@pokemongamer6021]

A walking gold mine! It seems you are

[@aprilwilkerson782]

One of my favorite stories wish there was more

[@leightondoswell453]

Lol excelent story and loved to voice of the shop keeper❤

[@robertcross9863]

This story was so adorable

[@rolandosada8077]

Thank you squirrel

[@jukkiivi4282]

Another delightful story. Thanks to the delightful narrator!

[@AgroSquerril]

Glad you enjoyed

[@SeedlingNL]

Most of those aliens could probably power one of their starships by having a human run on a treadmill in an oxygen-rich enclosed space...

[@SubZole]

New ads on the station: Meet hot humans in your area. XD

[@AgroSquerril]

lol yarp

[@Ben-li9zb]

this one is FASCINATING, I love it. It's incredibly creative

[@craftysmithkeith3653]

A grand misunderstanding indeed

[@syrup868]

Coal makes a comeback

[@klappstock943]

For the voice the Algorithm and the story

[@themathmoth7393]

The voice you did at 6:30 was brilliant.

[@AgroSquerril]

glad you liked

[@victortahlor4038]

Thank You for the reading

[@terrieterblans7027]

Yep very good story. Hot narration too

[@sherylcascadden4988]

A comment to appease the algorithm and help the channel.

[@soffren]

Never been this early. Love stories like this where humanity is so eloquently romanticized.

[@allenmorgan1007]

For the Algorithm, For the Author(s), For the Disembodied Voice!

[@AgroSquerril]

For the algorithm

[@renaissancepress247]

A very clever story. 😊

[@greenrena8503]

Just immagine the reaction of those aliens when they learn that the workings oft the human body are comperable to internal combustion! Also, I acidently had subtitles on. On a video of rolling text thats a very disorienting expirience.

[@stephenaustin142]

This is a great story , I really like this one⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

[@EeBee51]

Third visit to this story.... ❤

[@averagegaming3740]

This was easily one of my favorite stories

[@reighniz4488]

This made me laugh. Excellent choice. Thank you.

[@NerdyWordyMatt]

Brilliant: Humans accidentally become the richest species on account of being relatively inefficient at retaining heat.

[@law685]

For the algorithm, and to save my other sock

[@LordGertz]

Our politicians would clean up here, those hot airbags.

[@AgroSquerril]

lol

[@hollyferay8131]

Fascinating

[@slimeinabox]

Hey KZbin, I’m subbed to this this channel- can I be notified when it makes new content? “2 months old is the best I can do”

[@AgroSquerril]

sounds about right for KZbin. Easy rule of thumb when figuring out when I release new content is.... always :D

[@ryanbottorff5855]

Fantastic.

[@georgebulbakwa9017]

For the ENERGY!!!!

[@2ndbrain909]

Wait I just noticed, the humans were basically treated like gods but only gave a 9/10 rating!? WHY????

[@Amongusaurus]

That last line hit me like a truck

[@mfree80286]

Humans.... have a real fire in their bellies....

[@rosstully5960]

I love that this story sticks the boot into fiat currency lol

[@UNSCPILOT]

Honestly without any kind of FTL, interstellar trips would take at minimum more than a year per lightyear traveled. So knowledge, luxury goods, energy, maybe tourism, and very rare or difficult to make matirials would be the only reasonable consistent value, so trading in quantities of energy might be a good way to go. Just uh, not antimatter, I'd preffer fusion fuels since a power fluctuation or containment damage won't instantly vaporize me, my ship, and whatever I was near accidentally, Fusion fuels don't explode on contact with their containers, even if some are moderately radioactive

[@tirnos739]

@@UNSCPILOT I think you are thinking of fission fuels. Fusion fuels are typically as non-radioactive as things come, unless you are trying to use some EXTREMELY exotic isotopes of hydrogen/helium. Heck, the OUTPUT of fusion reactions is typically fairly non-radioactive as long as you stick to hydrogen fusion.

[@UNSCPILOT]

@@tirnos739 the fuels and exhaust products are low on radiation yes however this actual Fusion reaction itself is HIGHLY radioactive, our sun is a great demonstration of this as it's spewing almost the entire electromagnetic spectrum, a literal wind of charged particles and enough neutrinos to shake a stick at. Fission is radioactive at all stages but fusion bottles up most of it's radiation in the actual reaction itself, even Anutronic fuels arn't perfect at preventing that

[@tirnos739]

​@@UNSCPILOT I never argued the reaction wasn't energetic, of course it is, that's literally why you have a fusion reactor. But the fuel and waste products are not particularly radioactive, which is what I was pointing out that you were wrong about in your first comment. Also the sun is a terrible analogy to make since it's a completely unregulated dirty-burning fusion reaction, which is the polar opposite of what you'd want for a shipboard reaction.

[@micheallinne3159]

And thats how money turns into sexual harassment

[@AgroSquerril]

lol

[@bennynash6655]

Still laughing at this. Great story.

[@humanguyalsoperson7987]

I like how I This universe I can buy an entire store by entering a room

[@nocount7517]

1:34 Can't say I haven't done that when reading.

[@ouberfox5898]

So basically we are lava creatures

[@AgroSquerril]

it would seem that way