Parental Alienation | Jennifer Harman | TEDxCSU

Parental alienation is a devastating problem affecting millions of families around the world. Unfortunately, much like how we addressed domestic violence several decades ago, we treat parental alienation as a domestic issue rather than as a problem that affects communities, school systems, police and court systems, mental health and financial institutions, and legislative bodies. I will discuss how our social and cultural systems sanction and even promote parental alienation at the expense of our children, and what can be done about it.
Dr. Harman is an Associate Professor of Psychology at Colorado State University and is the Program Coordinator for the Applied Social & Health Psychology Program. She is an accomplished and awarded teacher, and has published many peer-reviewed articles and textbooks on intimate relationships, such as The Science of Relationships: Answers to your Questions about Dating, Marriage and Family. She is also a contributor to ScienceofRelationships.com, a relationship science resource for the on-line community, and is interviewed as a relationship expert for many national and international media outlets (Chicago Tribune, the Denver Post, NY Magazine, datingadvice.com, and the Irish Independent). She has more recently applied her research expertise in social psychology to better understand and find solutions for parental alienation because she has been a target of it herself.
This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community. Learn more at ted.com/tedx

[@AllBikesGreatAndSmall]

I overheard a group of young men talking in the gym this week. All of them were in agreement with each other that they're not having children due to the risk of parental alienation and crippling child support payments. This video was put on here 6 years ago and absolutely nothings changed. I haven't seen my children in 7 years and may never have a relationship with them again. How is that right?

[@rhondamarquez8309]

I only hope one day my son sees that he is a victim of PA. God keep him safe......

[@frederickmuhlbauer9477]

I’ve got the same problem Rhonda God bless you

[@Hannelore712]

I lost 2 children because of this. Haven't seen my son over 10 years. Now the second time I lost my daughter due to this.

[@rhondamarquez8309]

@@Hannelore712 the only thing that comforted me was I listened to the Bible on KZbin when I wasn’t busy working. At home and in my car I constantly listened and learned about the Bible. I began praying daily . I still do. God comforts me.

[@ericmoore5679]

@@rhondamarquez8309 how are you doing today my name is Eric Moore

[@rachelballard8179]

HE WILL SEE I PROMISE!!! My kids are grown and since I have never ever participated in alienation behaviors even though I was a target of parental alienation, now they see it clear as day!! They will remember who offered them a peaceful environment free to love both of their parents

[@mambrose1972]

Thank you Jennifer, the pain is everyday and never ending. The rare moments I get to hear or see my son are mixed feelings. I get excited to see or hear something about him, but then the pain of every thing comes back to the surface. And the greatest pain is knowing the cycle will continue. Knowing, this problem is everywhere an nothing is being done, knowing my son will probably have the same issues in his life and will either be the alienator or the alienated. Sending prayers and love to all who suffer this horrible abuse, especially the children who are involved.

[@ericmoore5679]

How are you doing today my name is Eric Moore

[@pennyyeomans4115]

Research energy healing to get your son back. I learned it and it works. My kids were alienated against me and I could not even find them for 10 years. They turned out like their Dad's family because they inherited his negative family energy. I did it. It is very cheap to learn and very effective. Good Luck

[@theresamartinez7313]

Hugs to you!

[@aaireg]

As a single father, and an alienated father, I know this issue well. It sucks

[@thisisblackmesa]

my condolences

[@Jaysthudandblunder]

The same for me and I have been denied all access to my children. You are not alone but research is increasing and hopefully, soon we will be able to get our children back. They are also now talking about categorising Parental Alienation as child abuse.

[@pennyyeomans4115]

@Common Sense Learn energy healing. It worked for me. There is a reason people are spiteful and hateful. Dr. Hew Len is a good place to start. Good Luck

[@ShinkuGouki]

It's as if the moment you end a relationship with a woman she instantly hates you. It doesn't matter all the good you did. So now having kids, she uses those kids as weapons against you. I'm going through that right now and I don't wish it on any one

[@johnsmith-ik8il]

​@@ShinkuGouki going through it too buddy, the mother is a covert narcissist.

[@yaffahartman7622]

the very fact that a parent will lie against the other parent should be a flag and be a reason for not giving them custody

[@EliteTheReal]

yaffa hartman tell me about even something small as "he pushed me" when you never even hit them how do the two go together?

[@macknificenttvmcgee8591]

It's a crime.

[@cynthiastenstrom5361]

Amen to that.

[@katherineleighton1]

I was saying this issue was a form of child abuse but I agree with the speaker when she said this is a form of domestic abuse - It's both!

[@macknificenttvmcgee8591]

This can be a mean world. Haters are real but love is strong.

[@VIDS2013]

Parental Alienation is both child abuse and a severe form of Inter-Personal Violence.

[@ericmoore5679]

How are you doing today my name is Eric Moore

[@shalomshalom4577]

Domestic Violence by Proxy

[@iknitbecuzmurderisfrownedupon]

And abuse by proxy - kids learn to abuse the alienated parent so the abuser never has to lift a finger to continue the abuse forever. It's criminal.

[@Sharla_and_The_Clairaudience]

I am a Mother of three children and we are victims of parental alienation. I stand for us parents and the children it affects every day. Here is is to breaking generational curses.

[@ericmoore1173]

Hello how are you doing, my name is Eric Moore how is the weather over there today

[@sheffanesseabrown2811]

I am Sheffanessea Brown and I’m committed to help end parental alienation.

[@GurdeepSingh-xd8ls]

Thank you for everything you to support others. I follow you on Facebook, you are inspirational.

[@sheffanesseabrown2811]

Gurdeep Singh aww thank you 😊 I

[@stephaniematthaus1516]

i just found you on facebook! i have all your posts printed out so I can find hope in the dark moments. Thank you for all you do.

[@harlowsmama3417]

Any advice you can give? I’m desperately missing my son. Please help

[@jackoff1826]

Thank you for your effort. I hope you go down in history in changing children's health for the better.

[@RobertaMariaAtti]

This lady deserves recognition for her courage to point out there is a huge problem in our society. Parental alienation is not being adequately addressed and the broken lives it engenders are usually attributed to anything but....Well done! Well said. Thank you! I bet that those who disliked this video are the parental alienators she's so clearly describing! The last thing they want is for anyone to see through their manipulative behavior!

[@InfanciaCompartida]

We are an ONG from Argentina that work against alienation and to promote a shared childhood. Your video is just great to help parents and make all this visible. The needed video for this era.

[@billzettel3137]

This is so true. I was a great dad and had a great relationship with my kids. I am the alienated parent and powerless to do anything about it. It’s been 9 years since my children have spoken to me. The government of Canada and Ontario have indicated the family law system is broken but after 18 years as the Chief Justice of Canada, Beverly Maclaughlin has done nothing and now as she retires we sing her praises. The office of the children’s lawyer appointed a dud lawyer and the who,e system is a joke. He did nothing except make the kids say which parent they preferred and she had already started her game so I never stood a chance although I fought for them and have joint custody. This assisted my ex in her alienation process. The family counselling ordered by the court never happened because the ex alienated me from the children and they refused to take part or give consent to have counselling with me because the kids were over 12 years old a year after a year of separation and could withdraw, which enabled the alienating parent further. I always paid my child support, section 7 expenses and alimony on time and in full and gave up the house all our assets and I took all the debt. My kids believe that I have not supported them or th is mother and all our former friends and neighbors believe that too despite my pleas. My bio kids are men now. They emailed a few lines over the years to insult me and basically spit on me. I am only a wallet to them and I have no rights as a father in this province. My second wife is also divorced and is the opposite of my ex. I helped raise her bio kids and they are my kids too and adults now and we have a great relationship. We always encouraged them to spend time and respect their bio father who is a fantastic man and we all get along. There is no animosity. How can there be such a difference? One person who is committed to the cause can manipulate the whole process in order to effect some form of revenge and power and use children as the weapon. This is family law in Canada especially Ontario.

[@cassius573]

Wow. This it tough, Bill. I'm also an alienated dad, we should call ourselves AD and form a club. lol. Jokes apart, what you went through is basically the zeitgeist of the current western society. I live in Brazil, and face the same kind of difficulties in being with my son. Society is on a trend of empowering women regardless of their character. They are treated like cops in my country, their word has the presumption of truth. It is true until proven otherwise, while men are lying until they painstakingly stack evidence on top of evidence to finally convince he was saying the truth. To say this system creates assymetrical conflicts is an understatement. I myself feel like I'm not paying child support, but a penalty or restitution without any claim to rights for myself.

[@thomasboutin6045]

I have a very similar situation and gave her EVERYTHING including $ 2000 usd monthly until my only child graduated from college in 10 years. My daughter thinks her mom paid for college and the vacations and travel. I got total disrespect and considered the ATM. GOOD LUCK TO EVERYONE ELSE WHO GETS ABUSED BY YOUR JUSTICE SYSTEM and falsely accused of domestic violence and arresting officers believed her lies-

[@VoiceAndPianoByChristaFord]

Soooo sorry!! 😞

[@larrylorimer3065]

On my case I had 22 Judges to fight the system in Ontario to no avail. 15 years later still haven't seen my daughters and the one son shows up to talk and was telling me all false information. He is so twisted that I can't handle to see him.

[@age93]

I basically have had the exact experience in Ontario's system. The OCL is just as corrupt as the courts and CAS. They've done more harm than good. I fear taking our case back to court. CAS won't even speak with my son, at his request, as to why he doesn't want to see dad, what happens there, etc. Despite always having sole custody, dad having limited parenting access due to refusal of treatment and other factors, and the father having criminal DV charges against myself- the narrative he pushes of me being vindictive and alienating is accepted as truth and all the valid safety concerns are dismissed as being malicious. It's painful seeing your kid have an emotional breakdown every month when dads two days are due. The system is abusing children just as much as these parent. When did a parents rights become more important than a child's? It isn't a mystery why our society is so sick and broken. Its created to produce a sick and broken population. Forcing a child to have an abusive unwanted relationship where they feel unsafe and afraid is setting them up for a lifetime of illness and trauma.

[@DaryaHupp]

Our future is our children. Children grow up to be adults who have a huge impact on how the world is run. This is much more common than we think.

[@ericmoore5679]

How are you doing today my name is Eric Moore

[@vashtischulz2777]

Thanks Jennifer. I'm a desolate alienated mother of two. I'm so happy to hear it brought to the TED atmosphere. Hopefully more people will see this as the issue it is.

[@apersonthatsnice6202]

I thank for your message. My children have been turned against me, I’m just now understanding it’s out of my hands. I cry every day for almost ten years now because I got out of a bad marriage... I won’t go into everything but I pray one day they will know the truth!!!

[@kristiekogutrodriguez496]

That’s exactly what happened to me...I ended up having a nervous breakdown...and my ex husband took the opportunity to ride it out...I was forced to go to the hospital just to make sure I wasn’t going to harm myself or anyone...I had called at hotline and they called the police....I was told they were just going to do a medical screening and go home....I was crying because I was worried about my daughter my ex husband married a career woman and he had all the money to fight me....now it’s been two years since I’ve seen my daughter...oh and I was involuntarily committed without seeing a judge or dr or screener...I’m traumatized but I started back on track better then ever...so I should be seeing my daughter again soon...

[@ericmoore5679]

How are you doing today my name is Eric Moore

[@Jordello3000]

Im sorry that this is happening. I dont have the words to express exactly how difficult and painful your struggle must be. I have a similar struggle... It hasnt gotten any easier. I hope you are alright. Do you have any support atm? Anyone to talk to?

[@_vvizi0]

I’m the child in this case and this video explains exactly what’s happening to me 😭 my moms also suffering a lot unfortunately, I hope she feels better. I’ll never hate her even though the words sometimes get into my head. She’s lost multiple friends and people she knows simply because my dad decides to talk about her to EVERYONE, literally everyone in the world.

[@beataannanowak659]

My son hates me and we loved each other very much

[@fixfamilycourtschannel7222]

Thank you Jennifer Harman for speaking on this topic and for recognizing that the culture and social systems sanction parental alienation. We would just like to add that the court systems sanction and empower parental alienation as well.

[@william3897]

Parental alienation and high conflict divorce is often the result of the alienating parent having a psychological/personality disorder. Very hard to discern even by therapist but until family Courts start making custody decisions based on the findings by therapists that one parent is disordered, this problem will be a never ending cycle as the disordered parent could very well be allowed to create the next generation of disordered, abusive and alienating parents (i.e. their children).

[@brianm9364]

William ...very well said

[@adrianadrianoaimbot8178]

Well said

[@MacGiollaCostigan]

We need to stop giving one parent total control over the kids. This makes it much easier to alienate the other parent.

[@1cheshire]

Yeah my ex wife has been diagnosed with bipolar syndrome, I've not seen my girls 8 &10 for two years now she only contacts me regarding money everything else is ignored.

[@denisedevoto5703]

Therapists really don't understand narcissism and cannot recognize it.

[@savanekemoli]

Thank you for this talk. my ex-husband has done just this after 7 years of divorce. I was primary custodian and he had open access to our children. I never denied him and encouraged my children to develop their relationship with him - as difficult as it was for everyone. He had me declared mentally incompetent and got full custody of our children two years ago. He shared the court ruling with the children. My oldest daughter believes it; my youngest doesn't. I see them both struggling about who to believe and my oldest has been diagnosed with anxiety attacks and is very angry with me; my youngest bottles up her emotions and thoughts. I got clinically depressed. I'm working through that and trying to rebuild my relationship with my children. I have been deemed an unfit mother in a society and culture where motherhood is a badge of honour . "Friends" have been lost and gossip is rife. I working on rebuilding my relationship with my daughters and it's difficult. I can't keep defending myself against his lies to them. I'm a Kenyan mother living in Kenya. I don't profess to have been a perfect parent - I had a normal relationship with my daughters - good and bad times. Parental alienation is not recognised in Kenya - the legal system makes its rulings based on 'one right-one wrong' basis. It's a difficult and painful time.

[@CarlosRodriguez-er4hh]

God can help you. He can do anything. Ask him and be patient.

[@redblue8091]

Good luck with your mental health. Focus on that and build from there.

[@candicebadie3463]

This is my life and I need help! I have lost my son. He is 16 and choose to live with his dad. We had such a great relationship.before. I stayed home and did everything with them. My son believes I have abused him. He hates me now. He is so full of hate and rage. I couldn’t get help before as there was no proof of abuse on me. I have lost so many friends to his lies. I’m trying my best with the younger two but they are showing some signs now.

[@reg8297]

There should be charges brought up on the people who do this I'm a mother of two sons and this was done to me for twenty years by the father of my sons

[@SamSung-nf6tr]

What an awful reply.

[@Sissy_prints]

This happened to me as well. It is devastating. The grief is overwhelming

[@cynthiastenstrom5361]

Yes IT SHOULD BE A CRIME. Absolutely.

[@NShivadas2023]

I am an alienated parent......twice now and can say that it is the mother that causes it, but I would be remiss to do so as it can be done by either parent, even though the courts tend to always side with the mothers.

[@Idkaboutthisone]

@@NShivadas2023 I am an alienated parent, and it is my son's father who is keeping my son from speaking to me. So it's not just mother's who do this.... Narcissistic behavior can be found in men and woman...

[@realcanadiangirl64]

Thank you for this. My abusive ex husband claimed that I had a mental illness and that, even though I had three negative drug tests, a drug addict. The Corporal from the RCMP domestic violence unit told me that he is a sociopath narcissist when I asked him why he continues to make my life hard. I was making progress and had my three children every other week in the summer. He hated that. So he accused me of hitting our 12 year old son. The judge said I was only allowed supervised visits with someone my ex approved. He won't approve anyone. Not even himself. It's been over five years since I've seen my children 😢

[@littlemisstwiggy2302]

realcanadiangirl64 My heart goes out to you I've been through similar situations. My ex has also turned our boy's against me & my family. My boy's haven't had anything to do with me for several year's now. My 13yr old is struggling so bad:( My heart aches daily

[@suzbone]

My heart aches for you all. I can't even imagine and I am so, so sorry.

[@shnuzels1609]

😢 that is heartbreaking!

[@CarlosRodriguez-er4hh]

I am so sorry. I am going through the same process. My dear son IS alienated against me. God help us.

[@janicemercer1319]

So sorry

[@TheThebestatwhatido]

Over 25 years now. I am almost done beating myself up. The dreams will never go away but accepting things that are the past. Painful beyond belief.

[@CarlosRodriguez-er4hh]

My advise: turn to God. He can do anything.

[@shalomshalom4577]

Yes, let God be your comfort brother.

[@heathermoore7063]

thank you for this video, I've been going through this for the past 2 years. I am supposed to see my son twice a week and 3 hours each time. My sons father does not respond to setting up visitations for a month or more at a time, shows up once and then refuses to show up for an undetermined amount of time. My mother has my daughter and has for 2 years telling me, she doesn't want to talk to you. I haven't heard my daughters voice for 1 year tomorrow on her 9th birthday. I have not seen her since right before her 7th birthday and have travelled twice to the state she is in with my mother refusing to let me see her. The pain I go through every day is indescribable. I fear every day what serious damage is being done to my children's mental well being. I raised my daughter on my own for 5 years then met my sons father and left my career to stay home with the kids. I can't imagine what my daughter thinks or is being told about me. Something needs to change to where this is not happening to parents and kids. Please if you know of this happening please stand up for what is right. all those who have watched me go through this don't say anything to the other parties because they don't want to get involved. Meanwhile I am bashed consistently and have no relationship with my daughter and rarely see my son. I feel so very alone and can not understand how someone I loved and took care of could do this not only to me, but my children. I left because I became very sick due to serious emotional, mental, and financial abuse and because I gathered the strength to leave I have lost my children. Please lets help find a way to fix this problem and save our children.

[@Asia9898]

I'm going through this similar situation. I read your comment and started to cry the pain is real I'm trying to stop being angry and mad and Jesus knows how hard it is for me. I just can't sometimes 😢

[@CarlosRodriguez-er4hh]

sorry for your problem. I am going through the same. So painful.

[@noneyassnowbetter127]

so eerily familiar ... i wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy. it’s devastating.

[@ericmoore5679]

@@noneyassnowbetter127 how are you doing today my name is Eric Moore

[@shalomshalom4577]

This was domestic violence by proxy. The narcissistic abuser is outraged when you dare to leave, and he loses his power to abuse you. The only way to maintain that high of control/abuse is by manipulating the children and the family court system. Your post is from 4 years ago, so I hope and pray you have seen some improvement, but I am taking you into my prayers. Hold fast to the knowledge that you are a precious child of God and you matter!

[@kevinhornbuckle]

It is a complicated problem. As Dr. Harman says, prejudices play a big role in causing the alienation. However, another way to look at it is that people with personality disorders are especially motivated to utilize and exploit prejudices and stereotypes. I think it is good that Dr. Harman discussed shared parenting. It is a very important objective. But parents who are psychologically disturbed will not let a shared parenting order stop them from destroying the child's relationship with the targeted parent. Recommended reading is Foundations by Craig Childress.

[@mambrose1972]

+Kevin Hornbuckle Very Well said

[@frisco008]

Well said...next for me is the "Foundations" you mentioned.

[@Lisa58Mc]

Kevin Hornbuckle I’ve read that book... it’s very helpful

[@Lisa58Mc]

Kevin Hornbuckle and your right my ex wanted sole custody only

[@Lisa58Mc]

Jennifer.... I contacted Dr. Richard Gardener in 1995 when the abuse started. I knew what they where doing but I couldn’t stop it & the Courts & attorneys had no clue about PAS. Mine was major & dangerous. I was scared for my life even. I would love to help with your research so that this can stop destroying life’s!

[@CarlosRodriguez-er4hh]

how did you contact him? is he expensive? where is he located? thank you and best wishes

[@jeanjohnson6443]

This is a MeToo for me. You do feel like your child has died, while they are still alive. Anyone who alienates a child from their other parent without cause, is a sociopath and does not deserve children.

[@timpaulson2713]

I am Addison. Thank God we had a good evaluator and saw through all of my “Casey’s” lies. My Dakotah is doing great in spite of the damage his alienator mother tries to inflict.

[@jackoff1826]

My heart breaks for the abuse being done to my daughter.

[@whitehawk7694]

It definitely happens both ways. Unfortunately the truth in Australia is that an accusation alone of abuse of any kind will get a man instantly removed from the home and only get supervised visits until court proceedings happen which takes months to years. If you are found guilty of a false accusation. You should be jailed. Either mother or father. The goal is to destroy the other's life, the punishment should be damage to yours.

[@johngarvey4261]

Thank you so much Jennifer. This is a really under-recognized, pervasive problem in our society.

[@johngarvey4261]

Also, many lawyers encourage this behavior for personal gain. The more embittered parents are against one another the more legal fees, and in some cases prestige, they receive. I know from personal experience that the KS Bar Association is derelict in applying or enforcing ethical standards with regards to certain issues such as this, and that is probably true of many other state bar associations. Lawyers who promote this behavior should be disciplined.

[@Thepathof77]

I’ve been completely severed from my beautiful children for almost 2 years. They cut me off themselves and I can still not think of a reason why we went from one day having an amazing relationship to literally the next day telling me they would never speak to me again. I love you Emmy and Hud. I always will.

[@chrisbatchelor3717]

I have not seen my kids in 12 years. if one parent wants to alienate the child from the other there is no way to stop it. Only thing that can be done is to remove the child from contact with the alienator.

[@frederickmuhlbauer9477]

I haven’t seen my son since 2006 or 15 years It never gets any easier

[@CarolanRoss]

After hearing several voices speak on this topic, I'd say that Dr. Harman is among the very best! Dr. Amy Baker is also very astute when it comes to parent alienation. A complex topic, difficult to understand and unfortunately many do not, including judges, attorneys, and therapists. Family court is a broken system. Therapists and counselors, LEARN from this woman! Please.

[@beccasnet]

I've been dealing with Pa for more than 10 years,if we had more experts talking and spreading awareness on the subject, maybe we as a nation could get everyone to understand parental alienation and what it's doing to our children....so it's recognized in every court and done away with...

[@ericmoore5679]

How are you doing today my name is Eric Moore

[@TheBenBenitaShow]

Happening to me...Courts and Attorneys could CARE LESS!!! Everyone is like: "...just wait it out, the kids will come around". Well...F*CK THAT!!!! Some dads don't want to wait 2 years, 5 years, 10 years for them to "come around". It's soooo messed up. Literally NOTHING worse than a Mom who hates a father more than she loves her own children...

[@dooddirl1]

Wow!!! Dr Harmen... you absolutely NAILED it for all parents subjected to this crisis . Thank you so much for confirming logic. Take a bow ma'am for you are a PARAGON.

[@lisabarbas3423]

Dear Dr. Harman, you are brave to bring awareness to Parental Alienation. I have not had contact with my daughter. My daughter was an honor roll student, in a private school. She was so happy. Now, she is doing poorly. She is using substances. This is painful. This hurts me because she appears to suffer. My daughter loves me. The adoptive mother alienated my daughter, I believe. This is painful. Thank You for bringing this subject to a level of awareness. It is a very harmful thing. Sincerely, Lisa

[@reg8297]

Lisa Barbas Is there no way now even u can contact your daughter that's terrible

[@harshitmadan6449]

Take it to the court

[@pinam2299]

My ex abused me financially , emotionally and physically for 26 years. I spiraled into a deep depression and he used this against me to get my kids. He almost succeeded but my daughter came back. My son no longer speaks to me and has taken the side that I am crazy. I’m struggling immensely right now. Thank you

[@deem9160]

Read and watch all you can from Dr. Craig Childress. There's much to be understood in his work. I'm in a similar boat.

[@purpleskies1]

I'm so sorry.. Praying for you and your family. 💜💜

[@adrenaline4life396]

Thank you so much for this video. Even in 2020 it's not talked about much. It happened to me and becoming knowledgeable is healing and helping me beyond words. The fact that this exists means I'm not the only one and that I don't carry as much of a burden as I once did.

[@frederickmuhlbauer9477]

I feel the same way Maybe we should all get together at a convention to bring more attention to our plight

[@dianelynn6785]

@@frederickmuhlbauer9477 Start a fb and/or KZbin page/channel..I'll help! (I'm older not techy) My bio dad was alienated..then I had 4 stepdad's..two of MY EXS Did this to me...one had a vendetta..the other BELIEVED he was doing the right thing by kids..his fear of harming kids by letting them speak to me..was due to his ignorance or rather his unwillingness to speak to me OR EVEN get kids counseling has forever piggybacked the INITIAL issues I suffered therefore quadrupling the effects on our kids...and hence beginning a new generation of 'no communication' with their own heartaches.. So I AGREE WE NEED TO RISE!...

[@marthagonzalez310]

it is not just the mom's that do that... What about when the alienating parent is the non custodial father? Who was also abusive to the mother... and makes the children beleive that is the mother's fault that the children are not with him all the time anymore, etc..

[@michaelsutton5511]

Thank you so much for speech. This problem won't be fixed in my lifetime, but at least it's starting to be addressed... Somewhat

[@SaintAfford]

I haven't seen my two girls for nearly ten years now and its all down to Parental Alienation. I send cards for Christmas/ Birthdays etc but havent received any cards back in these ten years. I pay CSA for my youngest, I Know its my duty as a father but both my girls changed their surnames some time ago. My ex wife is happy to accept this payment from me even though she has erased myself and my family from our daughter's lives. She even claimed over one hundred thousand pounds on my kidney cancer 3 years ago.

[@AshishAntil]

saint afford be strong..let karma show up

[@CarlosRodriguez-er4hh]

so sorry. I am going through the same process. My son is alientated against me. It is so painful. God help us.

[@ParentalAlienationEndsToday]

Jennifer thank you for doing this TED talk and being a voice for so many. You are spot on with understanding the parenting stereotypes and provide insight for how people can change their perspective and be a positive advocate for the "family" instead of elimination of one of the parents. We coach people all of the time in understanding the dynamics of parental alienation and how their mindset is holding them stuck in the emotional spin cycle. We help them understand that they do not need to change the other parent, this is not in their control, how they show up in their relationships is in their control. I loved your book and hope we are able to collaborate soon. Dorcy :-)

[@frisco008]

Getting the word out IS a great first step, but how do we get it to the next level? Who do we contact? Some situations are complex. When we have a society with archaic systems, where do we go with our information? Politicians? That doesn't sit well with me. Core family values have changed and some for worse. The ones alienated wrongfully, can NEVER get that time back. That is something I fight with daily. No one listens...family law systems are a business and Parental Alienation is just an ingredient to stir that pot and keep us all on a slow simmer.

[@fixfamilycourtschannel7222]

+Scott M. Wesolowski AbuseisabuseSilentnomore in order to stop the family courts from sanctioning and empowering parental alienation, we have written a brief that can be adapted to your courts in your state and federal. www.fixfamilycourts.com/donations-for-declaratory-judgments/

[@frisco008]

+Sherry Palmer So donating gives me a downloadable document from a Texas filing that I can use, as a sample, to file something similar in my case?

[@fixfamilycourtschannel7222]

Hi Scott. We now also have sample motions that are being used in the family courts as well at www.fixfamilycourts.com/motions -- If you want to get in contact with us with more questions, use the contact tab. And regarding your question about the federal brief. Yes you receive a downloadable document that can be used as a sample for you to use in any state. We provide these as educational tools. If you need more education on this tool contact us and let us know what you are trying to accomplish so that we can let you know what tools we might have for you.

[@mythologicalmyth]

Thank you. The issue is becoming more mainstream. Thank You!

[@ericmoore5679]

How are you doing today my name is Eric Moore

[@mythologicalmyth]

I have been through hell on earth for over 7 years. Attorneys, Debt, Threat of Prison, continually and daily being subjected to different stages of grief and loss. I would do it all again just to see my 8-yo daughter's face once a month for two days. I fly 1600 miles one way to see her and her mother still continues vexatious and fraudulent ex partes and litigation.

[@ericmoore5679]

How are you doing today my name is Eric Moore

[@josephbarlish3918]

as a alienated parent i know i will never be granted 50/50 with my son and i am treated like i second class human being when i have done nothing but leave my ex now i get my son 49 days a year and cant talk to him daily and her bf has more rites to my son than i do. this will never change and i am constantly in court im on antidepressants anxiety meds im taking parenting classes and anger managment.

[@LadyGCProductions]

Jennifer, thank you for categorizing the stereotypes and parenting expectations. It is entirely too easy to separate children from either parent through the court system. Speaking, from a "falsely accused of abuse" parent. I appreciate it when you state that it is a "form of child abuse." " Both parents are important for their identity. If one parent is bad and the child identifies with that parent then the impact is severe."

[@estephaniey123]

My ex was abusive and charged several times with domestic violence. Yet the court still granted him 50 percent custody. Now I'm dealing with parental alienation..

[@ericmoore5679]

How are you doing today my name is Eric Moore

[@nathanbrodersen1140]

I overcame parental alienation and fictitious disorder imposed on another as child and teenager. I was force fed grams of salt until I vomited and cut off from every friend I had. I left at 18 and I am 30 years old now, still dealing with this daily. The parent that abused me is my mother and used her own health diagnoses to hide behind while abusing me and turn mental health professionals on me. I decided to go no-contact 2 years ago, the pain hasn't stopped, it's just changed. The only way I know to escape this is to be a good father one day and to treat my wife properly, to not repeat any of it. I have no desire to repeat any of her actions, and the more I grow to love my wife and want a family, the more what my mother did to me when I grew up tortures me.

[@patrickgleeson6223]

Hi Melanie I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart for your brilliant information which has done so much for me and my confidence regarding Parental Alienation. I will keep in touch and for me you have been 'Godsent', at this awful time of my life you have lifted a lot of dark clouds and I know things will come good. May God bless you always.

[@janiewampler4637]

Thank you for giving this presentation. Parent alienation is real and more prevalent in our society.

[@FragJamsey]

Over the last two years I have been alienated from my two beautiful children, Oona & Killian, following a violent domestic abuse situation with my ex husband. My ex husband is currently employed at Colorado State University as a research and teaching assistant in the Sociology department. It's such a small, small world...

[@blackswan4486]

Very sad. Beautiful Irish names BTW!

[@ericmoore1173]

Hello how are you doing, my name is Eric Moore how is the weather over there today

[@erikseaman2163]

This has been the hardest thing I have ever gone through. It has caused major depression. The unique part of my story is that my daughter has autism and minor cerebral palsy. My ex has completely destroyed my character and made the worst imaginable accusation when seeing a court appointed Psychologist. My daughter can not speak for herself due to the special needs issues. Resulting in the total loss of having any access to my daughter. I pick up my son at my Ex's home and see my daughter dancing at the glass door window excited to see me. I have no options, it feels like an open wound I cannot heal. I ask to see her and am always denied. My son will call me from another room away from my ex and her new husband; my daughter will say Dad, Dad, Dad when can I see you, can I come over repeating herself multiple times. All I can say is I love you, miss you and not right now. She does not understand any of this. I am very grateful she has not forgotten me.

[@sgk993]

Thank you Jennifer Harman. Please continue your excellent work. Very interesting many other social justice issues receive and experience high levels of attention and concern. Why parental alienation, a form of child abuse, domestic violence and the "family" court system is tone deaf to this destructive issue in our society is beyond me.

[@Imamajorhonky]

I have had full custody of my daughter for nearly 2 years. Her mother hates me for this, and has accused me of sexual assault, accused me of domestic violence, and several other things... Even though I have full custody I have not seen my child for weeks. Why is she allowed to do this? She makes fake allegation after fake allegation and everybody listens to it... they take weeks to months to "investigate" these allegations. Nothing comes of it, but I am denied contact with my daughter during the investigation period. I was arrested for these false allegations, I was given conditions of release, with a curfew. This has ruined my life. My rights are being violated and nobody cares! I can't get a lawyer, because I can't afford one. My daughter's mother however... gets to have a lawyer appointed to her because she is the alleged victim. I need help. I can't imagine life without my daughter, I have done nothing wrong.

[@yaffahartman7622]

you wanna ask yourself why you have full custody?

[@fredhubbard7210]

+John Mallery I wish I could help. Welcome to being a man. I can barely afford a lawyer, and my lawyer is a wonderful woman, but my lot is not a lot better. I will spend almost $5000 just to give my daughter 15 yo a "hear the child" report, or some input as to her wish for access which 50/50. Meanwhile I have been repeatedly accused of being unable to resond to the needs of my daughter--despite her very clear statements to the contrary. This talk soft sells the highly gendered response of the courts etc. and I suppose that is okay if that gives traction to the cause, but it does not help those of us being abused by stereotypes. You are not alone. I just wish there was a better way for men in our position to support each other, but tragically men seem largely unable to do that.

[@practicing1]

We know, feel the same want to help and take action as a group. They are predators that isolate and abuse millions of victims. Victims outnumber predators and the tables are turning

[@barryetherton4889]

I feel for you.

[@rolandvoboril8630]

Wow what an important speech! This is a very wide society problem.

[@bodycalibration2976]

Finally good to put a name to this situation. I lived through it with my parents and now going through it with my son's mothers. The pro-mom laws essentially screwed me over time after time even with false allegations proven false. Now I have made the decision to step aside give the mothers what they want until i finish graduate school and count down to the day their mothers can no longer lie to them. Finishing graduate school will give me the stable future for my boys since we will have a lot of time to make up for

[@rhondasmith3127]

Hi - it's not pro-mom laws. It's parents who falsely equate love with control. There are studies on this proving that it's abusiveness of the spouse that predicts the use of children to continue the abuse. The last study I saw showed that when custody is sought by an abusive male, his chances of acquiring custody of the child are at 80%. I lost my first child this way, too. It's abusers of all genders who are the problem. Not women. Hugs to you. Shame on anyone who would do this to a child, regardless of gender.

[@jodypalmer4506]

Which state has pro-mother laws? I'm not aware of this in any state in the US currently.

[@sarahm2878]

It isn't about gender bias, it's mental illness. My ex husband has Borderline Personality Disorder and did a pretty good job alienating me from my children. Fathers try to alienate the same rate Mothers do.

[@peterfamut]

What a truckload of rubbish.

[@20KADAYHERESWHATSHAPPENING]

I agree also it will NEVER be resolved as it is viewed as a gender issue. Many view this as a mother that does this,

[@sammurray1627]

Why does it have to be one thing or the other? It can be both, it can be many things at once.

[@gmailuser5461]

​@@sammurray1627because university types bring racial and/or gender ideology into literally every field of study

[@thecobbstar]

Very good talk !!! I'm am a father going through this and this means a lot. Paul.

[@LOVEDOMINATES]

LOVE HOW YOU SAY ITS ONE-SIDED BECAUSE ITS TRUE. I CAN CO-PARENT AND THE FATHER OF MY CHILDREN WILL HIDE, COVER HIS EYES, EARS, MOUTH, RUN WHEN IM AROUND, HE WILL NOT COMMUNICATE AT ALL. I WAS A STAY HOME MOM FOR 17 YRS AND NO COMPLAINTS ABOUT MY PARENTING UNTIL I ASKED FOR A SEPARATION. THE FATHER WAS NEVER AROUND, MAYBE 3MONTHS OUT OF THE YEAR. HE THREATENS ME TO LEAVE, GASLIGHTS, BUILDS A HATE CAMPAIGN AGAINST ME, PITS MY PARENTS, SIBLINGS, EXTENDED FAMILY AND FRIENDS AGAINST ME. HE TRIED PUTTING ME IN A MENTAL HOME, TRIED FRAMING ME WITH DRUGS, SAID I WAS A WHORE, SLUT, A DANGER TO MY CHILDREN, GOING THRU MIDLIFE CRISIS,ETC. THE COURTS , LAWYERS, THERAPISTS MADE IT WORSE. THE FATHER TOLD THE KIDS TO KILL ME, THAT THEY WOULD GET AWAY WITH IT BECAUSE I DESERVE IT.THE JUDGE DID NOTHING. MONEY IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN THE BEST INTEREST OF THE CHILD.

[@Nogoingback424]

That is awful. No one deserves that.

[@coachnoreen9063]

It amazes me that this can and does happen. Our stories are identical. These personality disordered parents never quit. It's repulsive how they obsess on destroying us - by destroying their own children.

[@roseawen5961]

Such a sad topic. My son's dad and I are divorced. His dad can irritate me at times yet I love him unconditionally and I'd never bad mouth him to our child. If anything I build him up to our son, tell our son how much his daddy loves him, and we co-parent well. It did take me a few years to feel this way. We put our child first though. Sometimes his dad gets under my skin, and I probably annoy him sometimes too, but I would never show that to our son. That man had a big part in giving me my son so I try to always remember that. His dad loves him a lot and our son is very very happy even though we are not married. Gosh unless there is true abuse involved- can't be just grow up and get along, especially for the sake of the child?!

[@fredhubbard7210]

+Rose Awen I applaud you. Both for respecting your child's father, and admitting less than perfection. You are in fact part of the majority of women. However, you do not represent all women. While the majority of parents who alienate--are women, that does not mean that the majority of women are alienators. In significant ways, the majority of decent women, give legitimacy to the abusing minority.

[@joemonroe8896]

I just want to say thank you for doing the right thing.

[@reesevigil4847]

she ate and left no crumbs. I am not a parent nor have either of my parents experienced alienation. Learning about how common this is brought light to how much work needs to be done. Thank you for speaking about this

[@coachchelsey7842]

Such an insidious form of abuse. So many parents are struggling in this high-conflict parenting dynamic. Family court systems are woefully inadequate to deal with it all across this nation.

[@s.b.burgin9120]

Being a survivor of parental alienation from my father, it's something that will always stick with me till my grave forever, I'm greatful that I managed to gain freedom and independence but alot of the damage I have mentally plus being autistic as well legit circles round and round and at times gets hard to deal with at times but I keep pushing forward. There is times where I'm afraid of having children of my own or getting in relationships with future partners because I know if I somehow ever come back to that cycle again, I couldn't go through it all as once is enough One thing I do feel thankful of is the help good people aid me along the way with and they advise me not to be too hard on myself about it all and I do try but I think the main purpose in my life is to help others be brave enough to fight back at the toxic people in society and help them gain a voice for themselves as if one person heard this message then that would give me some sigh of relief They say time heals all things but I don't know how long my wounds will be there

[@20KADAYHERESWHATSHAPPENING]

You were denied your mother or your father. I am so sorry this happened. I have not seen my son in 3+ years do NOT know where he is. Hope you heal.

[@sophiealfonsi-connaire4639]

50/50 custody doesn't prevent alienation. This is what we had with my ex, but he still managed to alienate me, it is not as obvious as in some cases. It was easy for him, for all the reasons you mentioned, but nobody helped me. The court never helped even though I had mentioned it many times, psychologist never helped and when one did, he made sure the child in question wouldno longer see her. Nobody protected me or my children. In the meantime, my children suffer from anxiety, depression and some health issues. Not all of it is due to alienation but most of it is the cause of their suffering. In the end, I have to do my best to constantly maintain a good relationship with them, it takes extra work, as I am always viewed by them as an ok mom, but not a good one. They are not allowed to think otherwise, and they don't know it. I can't open their eyes because it would make me a bad mom again. All I can do is do my best. It is horribly painful. I feel like my children were stolen from me. I am grateful that I see them, talk to them and have an ok relationship with them. In some cases I know it can be extreme, but it hurts. It is a daily struggle.

[@seriouslysinglemom3835]

Thank you! Your words are going to help me to heal. I’m so grateful for your video.

[@ericmoore5679]

How are you doing today my name is Eric Moore

[@oskeeweeweeoskeewawa8032]

I am so glad you turned this conversation around and made it about both genders. I've been alienated by a narcissistic mother to my daughter. I've been made to look like I'm mentally unstable and cannot look after my daughter while she's in my access. Now courts have sided with the mother and I'm forever having to prove her allegations instead of her proving what she is claiming. I have a 5 figure job , I own my house , 2 cars and this lady trapped me by getting pregnant. Once she told me about it she said, I don't want you in this baby's life all I want is your money.. . That's when I knew it's going to be a war. No matter what. Great mother eh. So for the last 4 years . I've had limited access and having to pay this lady who I only knew for 3 weeks over 1200 a month. And I get nothing. Great world we live in, when this is what justice is doing. All the while this lady , has no job no bank account having to pay for her house by working for cash jobs while I get ruined. She has a car, house , pool, dog , cat and I'm losing my house. Nice world . 160000 dollars in lawyer fees as well and I'm no where further along than 4 years ago.. just my rant on how women are doing worse to men than the other way around

[@MichaelRossneyFitness]

This is a great talk and such a common issue and yet it is rarely discussed. 'An unresolvable grief' that resonated with me!

[@aaireg]

As a parent, I took parenting classes, I sought them out, I am a man and getting custody of a four month old, I knew I needed to learn alot quick. I suggest all people take parenting classes, they are more informative than you can imagine.

[@WizardofGOP]

I hope this help you. To All Concerned, There are established facts that are not subject to interpretation that have been ignored within the system and have subsequently allowed for a cycle of pathogenic parenting to thrive throughout the government and supportive systems. A case of parental alienation only stems from narcissist/borderline personality disorder in the alienating parent. Although not every person with this type of psychopathology will engage in this behaviour, normal parents have the intrinsic understanding and empathy for their children to know that their children's bond with both parents is crucial to their well-being. Even when the other parent is problematic, they will still support their children's relationship with the other parent. Only with a narcissist/borderline parent and their fear of abandonment, anger, resentment and revengeful wishes with which they handle loss, lack of ambiguity and a reactivation of their own unresolved childhood trauma do we see high conflict separations and the pathogenic toll it has on children. Their fears and need to avoid collapse into dysregulation are so primal that even truth and reality are forfeit to their internal struggle. This results in pathogenic processes of manipulation and exploitation of the children's authentic, natural bond and experiences with the other parent by way of distortions, delusions and the signaling of the children to fear the targeted parent. Those tactics have the exact same traumatizing effect on the children as if they really happened. It is the same process every time, the children never claim that there was any sort of coercion and the effects on children are devastating and invariably cause the development of lifelong, debilitating traits that wreak havoc on society. This is all supported within a system that claims to understand the need and importance of both parents in a child's healthy development yet refuses to acknowledge the facts surrounding this all too common occurrence allowing for a multitude of measures that can easily be employed to keep the other parent from being able to be with their children. The fear tactics, stress and role-reversal relationship between child and pathogenic parent are strong enough to nullify custody arrangements as the children refuse to spend time with the targeted parent. This is misinterpreted by professionals as representing a legitimate threat from targeted parent when it is, in fact, an indication of the insecure attachment they have with the alienating parent. Token measures of a third-party access center are still dependent on the cooperation of the pathogenic parent who will do anything to maintain the children's developed 'victimized role' and keep the other parent from having the opportunity to dispel it. Court orders have to be sought while having the impossible task of proving a negative for the targeted parent of "I am not an abusive parent" while the pathogenic parent puts forth a coalition of mental health professionals and child welfare advocates who are neglectful of the fact that, to a child, both parents have a unique and irreplaceable function for their normal development and to work to remove a parent from their lives causes irrevocable harm. Clinical diagnostic indicators of the same narcissistic/borderline personality disorder traits are seen in the decisions and actions of these supposed professionals or their supervisors as well: lack of empathy and a lack of ambiguity, whereas they also portray the targeted parent as all-bad and the pathogenic parent as all-good which is a delusional thought process rendering these professionals as incapable of objectivity and, subsequently, unsuited to hold any position that can affect the lives of others in such a profound way as they cannot help but function within the dictates of their psychopathology. This is how parental alienation has been allowed to thrive and take root within the next generation all supported by a system claiming to support the bond between both parents but whose inaction and empowering of pathogenic parenting renders it all as nothing but rhetoric. A child rejecting a parent is not a normal circumstance and should immediately be seen as the result of a narcissistic/(borderline) parent as has been established and accepted amongst all experts in the field. This is categorized in the DSM-5 as code V995.51 child psychological abuse as per Dr. Craig Childress in his book Foundations: An Attachment-Based Model of Parental Alienation (ISBN # 978-0-9961145-0-9) Narcissitic/borderline parents cause: Suppression of normal-range attachment bonding where a child is forced to lose a parent Narcissistic personality traits developing within the children created by the pathogenic parent Implanting of psychiatric delusions within the children which have the same deleterious effects as if the distorted or delusional events actually happened. Along with other easily observable traits exclusive to children in this situation, there are five clinical diagnostic indicators that are displayed by children which are the resulting narcissistic personality symptoms which are induced by the pathogenic/alienating parent as described in DSM-5: Grandiosity: the child acts empowered over the targeted parent judging their competency as both a person and a parent (DSM-5 Narcissistic Personality Disorder criterion 1) Entitlement: If the targeted parent fails to meet the child's entitled expectations then the child feels entitled to enact punishment of parental failures (DSM-5 Narcissistic Personality Disorder criterion 5) Absence of Empathy: The child displays a complete absence of empathy for the emotional pain being inflicted on the targeted parent by the child's hostility and rejection of this parent. (DSM-5 Narcissistic Personality Disorder criterion 7) Haughty an Arrogant Attitude: The child displays an attitude of haughty arrogance and contemptuous disdain for the targeted-rejected parent (DSM-5 Narcissistic Personality Disorder criterion 9) Splitting: The supposedly 'favoured' parent is idealized as all-good and nurturing parent while the rejected parent is entirely devalued as the all-bad and entirely inadequate parent (DSM-5 Borderline Personality Disorder criterion 2) Until we accept the fact that only narcissists/(borderline) parents alienate their children, address their governing psychopathology and that which is prevalent in the system, and provide concrete and powerful methods for reunification of targeted parents that is not designed to bankrupt them into giving up their parental rights then the government and supporting institutions are complicit in the trans-generational propagation of a psychological disorder. It is all too easy for the cycle of pathogenic parents with no empathy even for their own children who, in that environment, have to regulate their parent, are merely trophies of victory over the other parent, and are rewarded with narcissistic indulgences and privileges designed to make up for the loss of love, care and guidance from a normal-range, affectionally available target parent to continue. This has to stop. Children do not reject parents. Thank-you for your attention to this matter.

[@luciussakura5031]

I have this problem with both of my parents. I don't see my father very often because he lives in another country. At this point I have been told and seen so many bad things about both of my parents that I don't really like them at all. In fact I would probably be just as happy without them, as long as I didn't end up in a worse situation. Currently the only reason I still visit my dad is that I like the person he's married to and my new siblings. No one should have that be the reason they visit their parent.

[@ehmadore]

I suffered this with a stepdaughter I raised as my own from age 2 - 12. Unfortunately she is 19 now and still has nothing to do with me. The grief is still very much there.

[@ericmoore5679]

How are you doing today my name is Eric Moore

[@TommySixGun]

Thanks for posting this video.

[@holdencaustic]

This is Brilliant, and true.

[@shamrockgirl6595]

* Alienated mothers * Alienated grandparents * Alienated aunts, uncles, cousins

[@AnnaAwesome77]

I have been alienated from my beloved daughter for more then 2 years. Court will not help me. Abuse on so many levels. My child and I suffer daily.

[@mikewhitney2147]

Good presentation... Thank you.

[@SamSung-nf6tr]

Yesterday was Christmas. I haven't seen my daughter in over 25 years. I can't deal with the holidays.

[@lukemcquade4300]

Sam Sung sorry to hear that it’s only been 2 yrs for me I’m noticing the change as Christmas gets closer each year it’s not good

[@iknitbecuzmurderisfrownedupon]

The alienator in my and my sons lives would do things to turn me against my children. He would put them down and tell me awful (untrue) thing about them. And when the alienation goes on after divorce, it is domestic violence by proxy. That needs to be recognized.

[@larrylorimer3065]

When my children were taught to alienated their father it started out gradually. By the time the Courts got involved it was full blown and no recourse for Dad. The children were told to do every thing against their father from B&S's to poisoning while at work the assaults would not end as the Stockholm Syndrome took place. The money was good so they had to tow the line to the controller. Finally when the money tree ended the abuse stopped. Money can be a curse!

[@JenniferJillHarmanPhD]

For more on this talk, check out our book: Parents Acting Badly: How Institutions and Societies Promote the Alienation of Children from their Loving families (Harman & Biringen, 2016).

[@NathanNobis101]

+Jennifer Jill Harman www.parentsactingbadly.com/

[@kelvinlord9555]

+Jennifer Jill Harman hope u continue to care and get your relevant facts right-may all that is truly good bless you and keep you .

[@kelvinlord9555]

+Jennifer Jill Harman changing hearts and minds for the better-much better than just changing laws

[@GOD-OF-MGTOW]

Senator John Madigan has a KZbin channel. He's begun to address these issues in Australian parliament. Well worth subscribing to him if you get time. Good job.

[@dennisheaton4008]

+Jennifer Jill Harman Just received my copy of your book today.

[@mdarnell514]

Preach Sista! my dear friend is a victim of tragic and traumitizing crime against humanity. We still dont know where to seek help becsuse its gone far passed “coaching” his kids. If anyone knows where to seek help. Please let me know

[@owlimited]

YES... LET'S ALL WORK TOGETHER BY BEING INFORMED ABOUT PARENTAL ALIENATION, REMOVING THE STEREO TYPES & ENDING THE CYCLES OF ABUSE. IT IS IN THE CHILDRENS BEST INTEREST.

[@ericmoore1173]

Hello how are you doing, my name is Eric Moore how is the weather over there today

[@charlesfoster575]

The key point that makes this so devastating to ALL eventually is the unilateral aspect. It is the same predicament that exists when suicide bombers target people who are grocery shopping or riding on a bus and although having a distaste of being blown to bits, still ride the bus and shop, but it is the farthest thing in their minds to kill the person who is out to kill them at all sociopathic costs. Not only that, targeted victims are almost never willing to take the necessary action required to stop the person who is dead set upon killing them. They/we would actually rather die than become a killer to save themselves. This is why a legal, professional and loving intervention mechanism within our family courts needs to be established...to protect the worst victims which are the children, as well as the targeted parent AND the parent who uses their children as emotional weapons of domestic abuse and are destroying their own family out of fear, co-dependency and other self-destructive psychoses that they can not control...the alienator needs help to be the person that they are obsessed with presenting themselves as through deception, projection and assassination in their unilateral war against their spouse who, though usually eventually provoked into some kind of poor response (I was, once), has no desire whatsoever to harm the role or the relationships of the alienating parent in spite of being targeted ruthlessly and their role destroyed. I just buried my beautiful big 21 year old son Marshall who I love deeply, but who was so poisoned that he would not respond to the calls or texts of my whole side of the family more than once in 7 years, and put a pistol in his mouth. My three remaining kids are still filled with poison for my whole side of the family (and God, in my opinion) along with their poor mother whose only statement relayed to those at the funeral was that they have "no regrets." Really? Your pride is more important than the life of our son? Of course, I was edited out of the funeral and told not to even speak...which was supported by 75% of those present who walked out as I stood up anyway...due no doubt to the divorce poison of false charges against me that they believe in spite of their knowledge of my poor ex wife's family legacy of alcoholism, suicide, mother-daughter co-dependency and parental alienation of her father...until he was useful. She still refuses to meet in counseling to try to gain healthier ground back that we once had when she was only coldly unfaithful to me, but the excellent mother of our precious toddlers (if that combination is even possible). H E L P ! ! ! LOVED ONES ARE DYING HERE! L'Shalom

[@kpotter1892]

One day i hope my kids can find the truth!! Its not fair to them or me..

[@teaguequinlan3786]

Great talk that shows many of the forms that PA can take. I have read her book, Parents Acting Badly, and I can only suspect that if she had more than 14 minutes to talk, we would have heard more great ideas worth sharing.

[@richardjohnson3538]

I thank you so much for this. My name is Richard Johnson, the Founder of The Justice For Fathers Movement. You Rock Jennifer!!!

[@ottonormalverbraucher7835]

@Richard Johnson But why only fathers and not mothers? And why the children dont have justice and need to suffer in some cases because of the fathers rights?

[@ottonormalverbraucher7835]

@Richard Johnson Why children dont have Justice? Why the Rights of the parent are more important then the Right of the child for you? What is when the father is really harming the child?

[@CarlosRodriguez-er4hh]

Fathers are mainly the alienated ones. Not only from the alienators but also from courts. Please share your movement info. Thanks

[@jessicaabbott2840]

It feels like such a hopeless situation. I'm losing the omes I fight the hardest for.

[@ericmoore5679]

How are you doing today my name is Eric Moore

[@theresamartinez7313]

It’s the most horrific thing that’s happening to me. I feel like the system is failing me.😢

[@lauriehoule9889]

Very enlightening and insightful! Thank you

[@OSITA78ERYCAH]

I love my children so much I will be as civil as I can and not say anything bad about their dad in front of them or to them. However, he doesnt do the same he tells my son I dont love him as much as my other son, which is not true, but we will see what happens. He wants 50/50, left me with all the bills, didnt even care to know if his kids would be okay yet thinks I should do 50/50 and just because he wants to pay any child support. Smh. If only my children knew how much this man put me through. He was becoming verbally abusive to me it was only a matter of time until he would become physically abusive towards me. This really sucks.

[@ericmoore5679]

How are you doing today my name is Eric Moore

[@OSITA78ERYCAH]

@@ericmoore5679 hi!

[@ericmoore5679]

@@OSITA78ERYCAH how are you doing today so where are you from

[@juliemackenzie1978]

A wealth of information...education is power...Thanks for this video..

[@xrated179]

Haven’t seen my two boys now 5 and 8 for almost 4 years! I have no more tears left I’m just mad. All I know ver did was discover my baby moms drug stash and she accused me of abuse once I filed for divorce.. pray for Andrew and Arlo 🙏 I love you guys I hope to see you again one day!

[@ibrahimidriss4766]

thanks so useful

[@jennifere4641]

Is it PA if my 2 daughters are both over 20? They supported my decision in 2019 to leave their father. Then things went downhill...... My youngest said I was not welcome at her graduation in 2020, it would be awkward with both parents there, in 2021 I overheard her dad insulting me l (to her) about the divorce proceedings I had initiated, then in 2022 she blocked me. My eldest didn't visit me in January 2023 when she was back home visiting in SA. In June this year, her dad and sister visited her in London. He is probably still helping them financially, I can only offer them love and support💖💖

[@FG-uh8bw]

I- the mother of an alienated daughter, who is refusing to communicate with me and to see me since 4 years- have been victim of domestic violence by his narcisstic father. I know from my son, that my ex husband have tried to alienate my kids with false informations against me. The parental aliénation was his weapon to destroy me emotional after the separation and divorce.

[@danh9545]

While I understand the need for PA Awareness for targeted parents (like myself ) , I just don't understand why the experts aren't intently focusing on education, awareness, and understanding for the general public. . This sick selfish behavior will just continue and get worse as long as the general public doesn't understand and care. . Why isn't that a focus for the sake of our innocent children ?

[@yaffahartman7622]

why can a person lie and run with it? why is an allegation always there? no matter if they come to be unfounded?

[@danh9545]

I've come to believe it has to do with people's egos. . It's easy to lie to someone and get them to believe you, but once that happens, they never want accept that they've been lied to, so they insist on believing the lie instead. .

[@yaffahartman7622]

+Time For Change no, it's abuse, negligence, and bad judgement with no recrimination

[@iknitbecuzmurderisfrownedupon]

Keith Andrew Hinton, alienating stepfather, actually never did care about my sons, except as he could use them for his purposes and to make him look like a good guy. My sons have no idea how much he hates them, and they are firmly attached to his story.