Were you parentified as a child? Did you experience instrumental or emotional parentification? Both? How has this impacted you in adulthood? Share in the comments below, and download the guide for step-by-step ways to heal: www.terricole.com/parentified-child-syndrome-guide
@megyerizsuzsadora6 ай бұрын
Just in time - thanks Terri🤗🌷 I experienced emotional parentification. I was over there with mum as my dad was emotionally unavailable. Later on I was over there with my friends while I was disconnected from me - no wonder I worked in Public Relations and hold a psychology MA degree. Over the last year, however, I’ve put the focus on me and some friends disappeared. Learnt to express my feelings and needs in all relationships, and am now sitting in a void hoping to find folks that appreciate me as much as I appreciate them. It’s tough right now but am also happy for me - finally, I matter to me🤗✨
@terri_cole6 ай бұрын
I am so happy you were able to reach that point for yourself, and thank you for sharing! ❤️❤️
@gothmaze6 ай бұрын
It's amazing that as an adult you can't remember what an adult is sometimes because you have never been celebrated as an adult due to leaving the adults who parentified you, and being around incompetent parents. It gives you this bitter mistrust towards older adults, and it's so important to form your own adult self that you always wanted to be, no matter what you experienced. I get to live the life I have always imagined and I keep forgetting that I am so capable and worthy because many adults were emotional failures in my eyes. It's sort of like, what's the point of trying so hard because I had to overwork myself and that wasn't enough. It really has to be for you and mean something to you.
@terri_cole6 ай бұрын
Thank you for sharing your insight with us ❤️
@xxxx47264 ай бұрын
@gothmaze POWERFUL! Thank you - this is so helpful!
@munkami6 ай бұрын
Yessss! Lack of trust is huge, especially with authorities.
@terri_cole6 ай бұрын
It makes so much sense ❤️
@KarinaB.-yq1mc3 ай бұрын
I have literally experienced all of the mentioned factors of parentification, maybe even some more, and mostly it happened simultaneously and ongoing. So even though I have been aware , and on my healing journey for quite a while now, it is still very therapeutic listening to your videos. I am so grateful to have found this channel, and I thank you Miss Cole for your compassion and your work. ❤
@terri_cole3 ай бұрын
I'm so glad you find my videos helpful 💕
@gregariasanchez18016 ай бұрын
Excelente, fue lo que me pasó en mi infancia. Estoy sanando y cuidando de mí todos los días de las maneras que son mejores para mí. Gracias por hacer visible esta situación que muchos hemos vivido. 🙏
@terri_cole6 ай бұрын
So glad you are taking care of yourself, Gregaria ❤️❤️ That is the most loving thing we can do for ourselves!
@carolrose2986 ай бұрын
You have inspired me in so many ways. I first heard of you on Anne and Heather's podcast. I thought....this woman is hitting home with me. I now listen to every utube I can and have both your books. What an amazing, inspiring woman you are. Love what you do. Please don't stop. I wish I could afford your personal sessions ❤
@terri_cole6 ай бұрын
Thank you so much, Carol ❤️ I am so glad you found me via Anne and Heather's pod and I appreciate you sticking with me! ❤️❤️
@DeeLeon76 ай бұрын
Thank you, for this. Told my trauma therapist this term, he hadn't heard of it! Your encouragement is very helpful, I need to get rid of it, the emotional version. Mum, never taught me practical things, left me helpless. I suppose that was the point..
@terri_cole6 ай бұрын
You're so welcome ❤️ I hope your therapist is able to help you unpack and honor your childhood experiences.
@HiddenObjectsFoundSubjects6 ай бұрын
I appreciate your work. It has helped get me through some tough times. Thank you 🙏🏾 ❤
@terri_cole6 ай бұрын
Thank you so much for letting me know 💕 I'm glad my work has helped you!
@FastLearners.6 ай бұрын
Thank you Terri
@terri_cole6 ай бұрын
You're welcome ❤️
@mhlorenzo6 ай бұрын
Hi Terri! You are the best. Read your book a few years ago and it was a game changers for me. Eternally grateful!
@terri_cole6 ай бұрын
I am so glad to hear that Boundary Boss was helpful for you ❤️
@annacornelius10136 ай бұрын
Excellent, as always, thank you very much
@terri_cole6 ай бұрын
Thanks for watching and being here, Anna ❤️
@BeverlyHogan-hw6ph22 күн бұрын
Hello Yes, I am here but NOT the parentified one with regard to task but ...my sister (almost 10 years old managed my eating, dressing, sleeping, grooming, getting ready for school, etc when growing up. Those early years were frightening . Myy mother was erratic, raging, and quite unhappy and withdrawn. My sisters managing the household needs, cleaning the and tried to keep my moms moods calm to avoid her rages. For me, I was not allowed to do anything "I might do it wrong", "I was too disorganized, and didn't do things neat, I was different, sarcastic, moody, threw fits and said whatever I thought, etc.....I appreciated being cared for and I struggle still with the experience of being discounted by my mother during that time (she never wanted to be a mom but that's what women did then). I did not appreciate being expected to be ok with being labeled as different and subjected to whatever nuances of expectations were placed on me even greater because :But I am taking care of you". Oh families who use relationships for rejecting or not knowing how to take responsibility for themselves THATS PAINFUL. IIt gets better in layers over years of therapy at different times. There are always new insights, new understandings, and greater forgiveness and ability to see gratitude and the good that did occur from the experience.
@terri_cole20 күн бұрын
Thank you for sharing your experience, Beverly 💕 It makes so much sense that you struggle with the experience of being discounted by your mother. That IS painful. Glad you've been exploring this in therapy and finding new insights.
@kellylliam6 ай бұрын
OMG, wow... every word I could relate too...thank you... never heard the word Parentified, but I think that was me you were talking about ;O) At eleven my mom left, my older brother and dad were broken. My mom was around a few times a year, sorta. My next birthday was forgotten by all my family. Immediately after mom left, I was involved in preparing for the shopping and helping shop, planning meals, making the baked goods, listening to my dad, a troubled-youth councillor, day, keeping the house cozy and clean. Then at 14, looking after my dads second wife for months after school during her mental breakdown. I could go on and on... and on... lol. Parentified! Never heard that word, but it so resonates. An 'Ah Ha!' moment. Thanks! Your amazing TC!
@terri_cole6 ай бұрын
I am so sorry you were parentified in this way, Kelly 💕 Thank you for sharing your experience with us.
@moen46456 ай бұрын
Love this episode and the guide with ideas and helpful treatments. ☺️ Thank you Terri 💞
@terri_cole6 ай бұрын
❤️❤️❤️
@breeandpurple25 ай бұрын
Ive always wondered where my lack of trust comes from. I dont feel like i can let me guard down with anyone. I was parentifed. It all makes sense.
@terri_cole5 ай бұрын
I see you ❤️
@purplepigeon10426 ай бұрын
Terri thanks! Would love to hear about Enmeshment in families if you get the chance! ❤
@terri_cole6 ай бұрын
I've noted it down, thanks for the suggestion 💕
@jodi-bethfelton36966 ай бұрын
Thank-you ❤
@terri_cole6 ай бұрын
You're so welcome ❤️
@JenniferWilliams-bb7hi5 ай бұрын
I emotionally supported my mom and sometimes on my dad's weekends he had me cut his hang nails even though he was capable of it
@mitzicrowder21866 ай бұрын
All of it ! Terri your the best❤
@terri_cole6 ай бұрын
I appreciate you 💕
@陳凱莉-z6h5 ай бұрын
Terri,Thank you for sharing those, is there anyway to get the guide? I googled the website you provided,submitted your website, and joined your Facebook group,but yet I still can’t find the guide.
@terri_cole5 ай бұрын
Hey there- the links for any guides are always in the description of the video and typically pinned as the first comment (at least, for newer videos!) Here it is: www.terricole.com/parentified-child-syndrome-guide ❤️
@carollecampeau47506 ай бұрын
❤
@terri_cole6 ай бұрын
❤️
@julieemmons90336 ай бұрын
Nah, what’s it when the adult child berates and gaslights and future fakes and isolates the aging mother only for show that he has to be the “parent” I call bullshit!