Parenting & friendship Q&A with Hannah Witton!

[@UrsulaWhiteley]

My mum used to use this on my wee brother for interrupting, she taught him that if its desperate like peed pants, somethings on fire, gonna be sick ect you can interupt and just say ‘mum’, but if it wasn’t and he still wanted your attention, to come up and hold her hand, she could put her hand over so he knows she knows, and then she can let him know when its appropriate by chatting to him in the right gap. Kids eventually learn where those gaps are (give or take with some neurodiversity) just by watching others in that situation.

[@HarrietJaneNorfolk]

What a lovely idea, thanks for sharing!

[@eleanor4759]

That's so sweet.

[@melaniemurphyofficial]

Apologies for the phones guys, we didn't have two handheld mics (I only have one!) we look like such knobs but I know most of you will just be listening to this in the background like it's a podcast! :) :) :) Link to our video on Hannah's channel in the description box...let us know how long you've been watching one or both of us/say hi! Will reply to as many of you as I can! xxx

[@arwilk]

I actually much prefer the sound from your phone mics!

[@msbbdarling1328]

I love the phone mics! It’s such a chill vibe like you’re talking to friends (us) hehe ☺️

[@devonb4779]

After a while I forgot you were holding phones, dont apologise great video 😄

[@alissa6380]

did not even notice any difference in quality haha 😁

[@sahrahenous4038]

6+ years both

[@burntsoup]

My best friend is on her third child now and I dont have any yet. I totally accepted that our friendship would change and so I mostly travel to hers when I can. I'll pick up her wee girl from nursery, come over to give her some adult chat and coffee/cakes or clean her house when shes away on holiday or at a family members for Christmas etc. I love my best friend and she brings so much to my life. I'd never let children change our bond. It changes what we can do but it hasn't changed our connection. Fortunately she works from home, running her own business. This means that she is available at times other people wouldn't be. She will choose to work at night so that she can take a break when I visit in the afternoon. She also tries to make time for me on my own. I recently went through a difficult situation and she had her partner take the older children out so that we could speak without interruption. I really appreciated that because it showed that she still views my life as important and hasn't forgotten about me just because she has children. I think both sides need to make an effort and put energy into the relationship for it to work. I am absolutely fine with being the one putting in more physical effort because it's easier for me right now. I think friends with children just need to make sure that they still value their friends and want to know what's going on in their lives. The friendships fall apart when the ones with children are so focused on parenting and don't check in with their friends or view their lives as less important/less fulfilling etc. Or when the ones without kids cannot accept that their friends with children are no longer as flexible or socially fun as they once were and forget about them. If you value your friendship with someone, you'll remain close throughout all seasons of life.

[@May04bwu]

See, this is beautiful. 50% of my friends, who have kids, just straight up stopped responding to my messages. Probably all of my friends, who have kids, stopped reaching out completely. And yes, I get it - sleep deprivation, PPD, it’s really hard. But all relationships need care. All of them. It’s just sad honestly. I also want to have children but there’s no situation, which I can image, that would make me ignore my friends for years and years. I don’t know. I don’t get it.

[@nellien4802]

Thank you so much for sharing this! My closest friend is about to have her second and I'm so scared that it will drive us apart but this comment gave me so much hope!!!! Thank you

[@abbyburns3127]

Ugh I teared up at Hannah's comments about how being the planner is soul crushing. I was the planner of my friend group and throughout the process of being diagnosed with my disability planning had to take a back seat. Now, unless I am the one to put things together, no one from that group sees each other or reaches out. Its hard to see that 20+ year friendship wither but I also don't have the capacity to carry it so it feels very rock/hardplace.

[@zoeziebee]

I empathise so much with you on this

[@morehannah]

I feel like we gave away a lot of juicy deets about our early friendship here that the internet has never heard before! lollll 😅😅😅😅

[@Jack-sy8mr]

Glad to see Hannah💛and Melanie💚 together again Thank you so much for everything your videos have given me over the years

[@mnickrowe]

Not sure if it sparked an idea, but would love to have a video further diving into the communication breakdown that happens between friendships of parents and non parents. Especially when you add mental health, disabilities and neurodivergence into the mix which makes it harder or more tricky.

[@lornatw]

One method I’ve used as a primary school teacher for too many kids interrupting or getting up to talk to me is if it’s just one or two I’ll hold their hands acknowledge them by looking at them and either saying I’m talking to so and so right now but you can tell me in a moment or I’ll send them off together to do a mini task and by then I’m ready to chat to them when they’re back! But I will never approach it negatively I’ll simply turn around smile and look them in the eye and say whatever I need to pretty fast and simply so I can continue the other interaction. The child feels seen and heard not rejected or shamed on all sides and understands to wait but not just mindlessly waiting ❤ Stern tone only comes out if half the class is being silly then I’ll use a song or clap method and hopefully be enough. ❤

[@AliB2412]

I found your channel after watching a video of you and Hannah years ago, so nice to see this one, can’t believe how fast the time flies

[@am4728]

I've been watching for 6/7 years, it's hard to remember! But what I can remember is I found you both hilarious and relatable, it was such a hectic time in my life, that I would unwind by watching my favourites. What's important is that, you both portray very real, very relatable vibes. Love to you both

[@Meganrosac]

I think I’m following Melanie first since I think 2015! And then Hannah via Melanie 🎉 it’s so lovely to follow your friendship through so many chapters.

[@betsybabf748]

With kids and how they make friends/relate socially, majority of that is just personality. We had 6 babies. They all received the same teachings and had the same parents/home, but are all so very different. Even our twin sons are complete opposites socially. The way we parented that was was just watching their personality, seeing who needed more confidence, who needed to be more aware of the feelings of others, etc. so they can find the best social route for them.

[@therandomgirl49]

Petition to make a Melannah podcast??

[@rayelizabeth722]

Something about your friendship is really sapphic and I love it ❤

[@saraluna_37]

Aw genuinely missed you guys doing videos together! Sometimes I watch your old ones when I'm feeling down. Such a special friendship that puts me in a good mood! 💚

[@skatingcreative5999]

For lonely mums I recommend having a preset meeting for friends, I know church is not for everyone but it was a life saver for me to have a weekly time to catch up with friends with baby but also I do a monthly bookclub with my girl friends baby free (I had baby for a few of them until I was comfortable to leave her at home and dad wasn’t working) it is so important to refill the well and highly recommend locking in those set dates because it makes it so much easier to socialise and adds opportunity for more organic social encounters as well

[@glitterXX2]

My friends that have gotten married/ had kids have gone in two separate directions. One friend.. I have become part of her extended family. I love it. I'm like an auntie who gets to go to all the big events but I can also pop over for a cup of tea on a Saturday for a catch up. I've gotten to know her family and it's so lovely to be included. My other friend, I never hear from her anymore. She doesn't answer messages, never reaches out of her own accord. I've only met her son once, barely know her partner. I've spent the last few years grieving a best friend I thought would be part of my life forever. Its fucking soul destroying x

[@glitterXX2]

Hannah's little slán at the end 😂😭

[@crinaci]

Oh my god seeing you two together makes me so happy 🥲You can't imagine how much good influence you both had on my life!! I learned so much stuff from you two!! I discovered Hannah first through a video collab she did with Rose and Rosie AGES AGO and then not long after I discovered you, Melanie, through a collab you did with Hannah, some sort of q&a, I can't remember which one 😅 Never looked back since 😇 The videos with Callum had me on the floor laughing 😂 Keep the great work you two are awesome 💚💛

[@nadyahristova6473]

Remembering the icon videos, so great to see your friendship grow with you. Being roughly the same age, the video is so relatable

[@creativereindeer]

In answer to the how long thing - kinda an odd one but appreciate that you’re both still making content(!) I knew of you both from various creatory things when I was getting into Trad media back in the day. Both of your content wasn’t quite for me back then but since More Hannah and the lifestyle, parenty and organising stuff (I’m ADHD!) and your longer form thought and research pieces I’ve been loving the content from both of you! Might watch at x2 and have yez on in the background but also as I’m sat on a sofa breastfeeding it’s nice to have some chat as well as the thoughtful stuff!! Thank you both for adding to this space and my lil’ world!

[@lerb_]

Eeep! These two videos have made my whole day. Y’all are my fav bestie duo. lol

[@dhruvit2408]

I can watch them for hours.. so lovely and classy 😍😍

[@MsGloomyLamp]

Hoping for a podcast of the two of you just chatting randomly ... :)

[@luisaludwig]

This was lovely to listen to while I cut up some veggies for my soup! Your talks are always so fun and insightful 💛 And I lovee I just love breaking the norms of what "normal friendship affection" looks like hahshdhd. Like, a little cuddle? A three-way snog once upon a time? Hell yeah!!!!! 😂

[@lilacsmoon9067]

i have a dear friend who has an eighteen months old. she got married at the start of her pregnancy, and i didn't see her, after that, for a year and a half. she seems to feel so guilty about 'vanishing' from my life, and i'm bewildered - you've not vanished, silly, you've been absorbed by the tiny adorable tyrant who now rules your life, as they should. at the same time, i'm so blessed by every drop of her company and presence and i do miss her a lot! and when she opened up about her post partum struggles it gutted me to know all my polite "i would love to bring you food when it is convenient" fell on ears that couldn't engage with that kind of talk. i've threatened her and let her know that if shes ever pregant again i'll take her silence as consent and her 'nos' as 'maybe, please convince me', and just show up at her door with a tray of something ready for the oven. worst comes to worst she grabs the lasagna and shuts the door in my face. win win for me

[@abbk97]

Can’t believe I’m so early!!! Wish you all the best Mel!

[@abigadsden9949]

videos like these are so comforting and interesting!

[@marie09333]

Absolutely love this convo! 💛💚

[@smileyface702]

This is so wholesome. Friendship goals!

[@greensteve9307]

Ha yes! I just won a bet thanks to this episode. Great to see the two of you are coping :)

[@FeelKarmatic]

Such a beautiful and inspiring friendship!

[@DeannaTroyTravels]

I have two mom friends that I've tried to hang out with and meet their children constantly over the years. One of them sometimes will meet me in public with one of her children (she has 4) which is great, that friend has told me she doesn't want me to come over because her house is a wreck and she would be embarrassed! I've told her a million times that I don't care about that and have offered her to come to my house, I only get to see her once a year. The other friend will be very active with me on social media but will say no to all of my invites, not offer any of her own. She has other friends come over her house all the time but not me, I'm not sure if that friend is trying to distance herself from me or not. It's sad! I considered both of these girls my bffs and now I never see them or talk to them. 😭

[@DessMelissa]

So sweet and great tips for the probably near future with my best friend or who knows possibly me

[@johannawurschlop4457]

this was very lovely!

[@febberz]

My loneliness as a mother issue is largely geographical. I have wonderful close friends but the closest is a 50min drive away. I've now shoehorned myself into becoming friends with someone I cat sit for who lives literally on the same street (thank you Catinaflat), because I was so desperate for a local friend and she had good vibes! All are child free apart from one. Making local mum friends has been tricky - I have one but it's very surface level so doesn't feel like I can count it as a proper friendship yet.

[@zoeziebee]

I so feel Hannah on the friend group organiser thing. I am a Vicky too and it is tough sometimes

[@floralspectre]

25:29 is so cute 💕

[@tvbrain22]

that intro was evreything 😆

[@sallygraves6406]

Been watching you both since 2015 when I was 13🥲So lovely to see you still so close!!

[@claudiajade624]

So, we have an ad hoc babysitter who we just have mind bubba once or twice a month so that my partner and I can have a date / just have some time to ourselves / get things done / have a break. It means not cheap (in Singapore $22/h, now in Aus $30/h) but means lots of flexibility.

[@c.morland]

Thanks!!

[@claudiajade624]

Oh lovely!

[@mandy]

WAIT is the pool memory from menorca when I was there? And Phil was doing handstands? bhahaha

[@May04bwu]

Honestly, after all the social media content I’ve seen in the past few years about how mothers need their space with their child, how you have to come and offer to clean the whole appartment or you’re a burden and shouldn’t come at all… I would never dare to simply invite myself over to a friend. Surely this depends on your algorithm, but there’s a ton of content that isn’t really doing us women a favour in this regard. In reality, I love my friends and I love their children. I wish them all the best with my heart and am happy to babysit, if they put their trust into me. But for some reason, the usual scenario is that once your friend has a child, you’re dead to them. They have their own world, which you don’t belong into. They become friends with other moms and suddendly you’re irrelevant. Not all of my friendships ended like this, but many sadly did. I’d like to think the ones, which are worth it, made it through those trying times, however, I can’t help feeling rather sad about it still years later. I wish we had better friendships in general.

[@sannecheney-steijger9393]

Oeh there is an amazing trick for getting your kid to let you speak your sentence! You agree that if you are in a conversation and he wants to say something he will put a hand on you, that you will look at him to acknowledge that you know he wants to say something, then finish your sentence and then let him speak. Mine got this one so quickly. It obviously doesn’t word 100% but it makes life nicer for sure! ❤️❤️

[@melaniemurphyofficial]

Ooh this is actually what we’ve started and it’s absolutely helping already! 😍👌🏻💖❤️‍🔥

[@TheEpicPlace]

I've vivky lol :D thanks for the apreciation lol

[@meganoxtoby]

Does anyone else find the holding phones/microphones really distracting in sit down videos?! haha what's wrong with me

[@refreshingtwist]

💚💚💚💚

[@Cathalreilly762]

What are you doing with a man are bisexual he does not care whether you are bisexual or not when you want to get in with you because you are a KZbinr and that's for tomorrow

[@gwenj4475]

Would you rather be a frog 🐸 or a penguin 🐧?

[@Cathalreilly762]

Does not like telling the truth