Parents Didn't Realise I Went No Contact With Them 7 YEARS AGO! They're Calling Me Dramatic!

[@MarkNarrations]

Hey hey all, I said a stupid thing today, well one of many but I think it's important to raise this one. So just to hopefully correct it: HR isn't there to protect to you but protect the company but still you can approach HR about work place disputes but be prepared with all your evidence 😊

[@FoxyMomma4ever]

Well said, Mark!!

[@Lisapizzza]

Exactly this 💕

[@nicerperson1]

You were not wrong, protecting the employees is ALSO a part of the HR function. It just happens (sadly) that a lot of HR departments become flying monkeys for the management instead. I was really helped out by my HR when illness forced me to retire, they sorted out my pension, got insurance to pay my salary for years until my pension kicked in. Many thanks to them.

[@Stillbourne42]

I spit out my Gatorade laughing when you said it. Thanks for the correction.

[@jackspring7709]

I don't know, Mark - I feel compelled to report you for this terrible oversight. :D

[@alicewilloughby4318]

Title Story: The fact that the parents didn't even notice that they hadn't heard from OP in SEVEN BLOODY YEARS tells us almost as much about that family as the life history OP gave us.

[@C.CurrySims]

Agreed

[@pippo17173]

Shows how awful they really are.

[@brigidtheirish]

I feel so bad for him! Having a big family is no excuse for what OP's parents did! This was straight up abuse and he shouldn't feel guilty at all! Mom comes from a big family and Grandma and Grandpa made sure everyone was loved. Mom sometimes ended up stuck with chores because some of the younger ones would run out to play and Mom never spoke up for herself, but that was about it.

[@myownsidekick]

I went nc with my mother about 4 years ago. She hasn't noticed. I stopped giving her money about a year beforehand, so she doesnt have any reason to reach out to me aslong as my siblings live at home and pay all her bills.

[@nadzjanz]

I haven't seen my biological father in 5 years, I wonder if he realizes how long it's been. The last time I saw him was also because my neice passed and I hadn't seen him for at least 3 years before that summer. Wouldn't have it any other way.

[@beegee1960]

Your parents are lying through their teeth. Of course they knew you had gone no contact, they just didn’t care. There is no way in hell that they went through 7 years of holidays and did not notice you were not there. Any parents who didn’t notice are crazy. Any parents who did notice and never bothered to find out why are insane. Either way, this says all you need to know about who is the AH.

[@metalequine]

Either that or maybe the siblings have mentioned OP in passing to the parents and then the parents confused that as they themselves talking to OP. Enda result is still the same, tho. Parents are too far up their own arses.

[@thebirdchannelforfans623]

Exactly! Without dementia or the like, there is no possible way they didn’t notice. I don’t know what they were trying to achieve by claiming they didn’t notice but they are bullshitting. I think the OP needs to keep away from them and maybe report them for child neglect?

[@nerdygeekgamer5528]

If I was OP I would go back to being NO CONTACT they didn't miss me in the 7years I was gone why would they miss me now if I was OP I would go NO CONTACT again why blame the person who went NO CONTACT when you know GOD DAM WELL it's YOUR FAULT that they decided to stay NO CONTACT with you poor OP he never got a proper meal ever that is so sad and he couldn't sleep in his own bedroom when family came over for the HOLIDAY'S I'm surprised OP didn't call CPS on his parent's I'm not sure what that government agency is called in Ireland what he went through is not right

[@CroobieLetter]

They didn't even notice he wasn't there when he LIVED there

[@ADADEL1]

Well....kinda? Memory is a weird thing. Like it didn't happen with my immediate family but my extended. After high school I enlisted and was gone for about 8 years only really seeing everyone around Christmas. When I came back for a bit after I got out all my extended family seemed to have a story that I was at some wedding or funeral that I definably wasn't. I joked for a while that there was a doppelganger of me running around.

[@owl7072]

Last story: I love how they're accusing OP of "not caring about family" when they're the ones who _literally didn't notice their own child disappeared for 7 years without a word_

[@platinum_noelle]

Not to mention literally denying him meals, and periodically denying him a bed to sleep on. They used him as an actual slave. It reminds me of how the Dursleys treated Harry Potter. I'd have gotten the siblings the books and asked if how the dursleys treated Harry rang any bells for them, and make sure they know that in this situation, _they're all Dudley._

[@ronhall5395]

I think when it was mentioned that he had gone no contact for 7 yrs and the parents never noticed, they lashed out in anger because it made them look bad. But sometimes that shoe fits. Making him eat scraps of siblings plates? That is just abuse. Maybe he needs a DNA check. Sounds like he is the unwanted child.

[@Songbirdstress]

Coming back 2 years later, what jumps out at me is volunteering, you have 9 kids and you're out volunteering? When do you spend quality time with each? Wait you don't.

[@terramarini6880]

@@ronhall5395 Also interesting that everyone took more than they could eat and he had to eat the scraps off their plates like a dog. My family grew up food insecure and portions were a thing, we did not take more until everybody had eaten. If, and I mean if, there was something left over seconds might be allowed. We certainly didn't treat anyone like the family dog, heck our dog got her own food made for her (cheaper) and she rarely ate scraps.

[@charimonfanboy]

@@terramarini6880 I read it as, he would come in half-way through and everyone would be forced to give up some uneaten stuff to stretch the food out to accommodate another meal, still bad that they didn't put a plate aside for him though

[@Lisapizzza]

"HR is there to protect you" This isn't strictly true, HR's first priority is always the company.

[@raeishimura]

This. In all honesty, HR isn't there to protect the workers at all really. They are there to ensure that there aren't any serious issues between employees that could result in harm to the company itself. Even when they seem like they are helping the workers, it is for the interest of the company itself, not really them. HR isn't really your friend, they are a tool at best. But they are a tool that protects the company from you. Any help you get from them is just a happy by-product of that

[@songohan3321]

Truth is companies get in major trouble because HR puts the company first and tries to protect the company instead of addressing a terrible situation.

[@anario7415]

HR is there to protect the COMPANY. Documentation is the best thing you can have when you are filing a complaint. No feelings, no emotions, just specific incidents.

[@burntblonde2925]

Definitely not true. HR is there for the company.

[@brianbarber5401]

@@ItsMeBarnaby but they’re not there to protect the workers They’re there to protect the company. If what is going on isn’t any threat to the company, they’ll expend no resources on it.

[@riceracm]

21:00 _”I might be unreasonable to expect them to notice…”_ That is *incredibly* sad that his self-esteem has taken such hits that he thinks he might not deserve his parents to notice him 😔💔

[@ronhall5395]

My siblings would have been asking every holiday. Where is he? Why don't you know where your own son is? My siblings would not let my parents get away with that crap.

[@mosasaurusrex1815]

Roughly 10 years after cutting contact, my dad emailed to say he thought I "might be serious about cutting contact," so this really hit home.

[@TygR3]

Wtf? Did you tell him you WERE serious and that's why he wasn't in your life for 10 years?

[@ScarabD]

Jerk parent: Cashier is the easiest job there is! Me: *laughs hysterically in ten years of retail work* HE DOESN'T EVEN GO HERE

[@itsjustme7487]

I've worked as a cashier part time for many years while working on full-time in the banking industry. I hated being a cashier and dealing with people who want something for nothing.

[@heidifruchtl354]

Um first story, cashier being the easiest job in the world? Um, I was working as a cashier while I was pregnant, and I went into labor while working, it was the day after Christmas. I bent over at one point with a contraction and the customer was just mean to me for trying to breathe through the pain, demanding to know what was wrong with me. When I said I was in labor, they told me to get back to work. The next customer was much better and couldn't believe the previous customer. That was my last working day for 4 months.

[@ScarabD]

@@heidifruchtl354 Holy christ that was horrific

[@heidifruchtl354]

@@ScarabD I had told the store manager that I had a Dr appointment that morning. He forgot to tell the assistant manager who yelled at me for being late. He came in at noon, only to find me in the back room with my feet up, very swollen ankles and ran backwards away from me, screaming that he refused to help me deliver. I was 7 months pregnant. Ended up on bed rest for 4 weeks, emergency c-section and 3 months maternity leave.

[@sonialinsey8083]

Dad stocks shelves. He’s not a cashier WHY?? I’ve done both, I’d stock shelves forever. Cashier not so much.

[@PowerControl]

Story 4: his mum should have stopped volunteering at the church, instead she should have cared about her 9 children better.

[@dunyazade]

It was an excuse not to be around them, I bet.

[@RandomTrinidadian]

What i want to know is why OP went back to his parents??? Seriously, sounds like he be better off without them.

[@jgw5491]

Because he is a good person unlike them.

[@blandoatmeal1273]

@@jgw5491 I'd agree that he's a good person but I don't think that's the full reason. He grew up seeing everyone else and one in particular getting all the attention, love, support and basic necessities from his "parents". It was likely the deep longing to be a part of the greater whole instead of the forgotten outsider. I would say going back thinking they might have changed is attributed to him being a good, and unfortunately naive in this scenario, person. He looked back with all that anger and hatred at his treatment and managed to put it aside and think maybe they've changed.

[@sleepwalking3345]

@@jgw5491 there is a fine line between god person and doormat lmaoo

[@foleysodeke648]

His dad was sick

[@RandomTrinidadian]

@@foleysodeke648 believe me, that person hasmt been a dad ti OP in a long time

[@SandraNelson063]

Customer Service/ Retail isn't for everyone. It's HARD dealing with the public. You have to have a VERY shiny spine to manage THAT sort of relentless hate directed at you. I did a lot of cashier work, a lot of shoe clerk work. It's HARD! You need a very thick skin, and the ability to SMILE in any situation. I was VERY good at it. I LOVED my work. I had to quit due to chronic illness. I'm on disability now.

[@sazashleigh]

This! I spent 3 years as a supermarket cashier in high school and then a year as a retail worker at a fancy department store when I was in university. I’m a highly extroverted people person but dealing with customers was soooo draining!

[@TheNormExperience]

Seriously! Being a cashier was *relatively* easy because I’m an outgoing, social person. My biggest issues were standing for hours and having to deal with irrational, screaming people who will blame you no matter what. If I hadn’t been employed at my own parents business with the ability to refuse service to anyone who became threatening I have no idea how anyone could deal with it as a first job! Minimum wage is not worth getting screamed at for something that isn’t your fault. But it sounds like OP’s Dad is happy to scream at her no matter what so it’s not hard to see why having to face that at work was just too much a day for anyone. Nowadays I’m in the same boat as you - chronic illness, but without a diagnosis so sadly don’t count for disability. Which leaves me in this awful catch-22 of wanting to work but not wanting to screw over any employer who’d give me a shot because I can never rely on my body...

[@der23]

I totally agree. To give perspective from an extremely introverted person. I started off liking the job and being good at it and ended up super depressed and dreaded going to sleep because it meant that when I woke up I'd have to go back. It was great in terms of being able to expand skills that I can put down on my resume. But other than that it became horrible. Felt like torture. I got to the point where I left without notice due to mental health. I do much better at places that are fast pace and where I work with small groups. LoL. I respect those that are people's persons cause damn that is a major skill. I'm not. Customer service is not for me.

[@wintermute9459]

Conversely, I think everyone should have to do a stint in a service job, if only to learn empathy for others. Cashier may be an "easy" job to train an unskilled worker for, but dealing with the public can take a mental toll. Retail workers are dismissed by society too much. They're considered lazy or stupid for not being able to get a "real" job which helps others internally justify the lack of a living wage they receive.

[@SandraNelson063]

@@TheNormExperience Oy. I had been on welfare for a few years, trying to get better, trying to retrain for other work. And just got more worn down. Finally my GP sent me out to a bunch of specialists who were willing to go on record about all the little problems I had. It wasn't just ONE thing. It was a bunch of things. I could have some how coped with one or two of them, but there were several just LAYERED on me! Chronic Lymphedema/ cellulitis, nerve damage in the front of my feet, some heel spur trouble ( REAL heel spur trouble!) insomnia, depression, anxiety, inability to deal with any kind of stress at all, and something funny was going on with my heart.... So at the end of it I had a BIG stack of information all adding up to a train wreck. The disability tribunal took one look, said EGAD! and rubber stamped the approval. Thank God. I think the welfare people may have had a quiet word as well, because they had seen me TRYING to manage, and just get sicker. They saws that I wasn't trying to cheat the system, I was genuinely too ill. You may not have ONE problem, you may have a few layered on top of each other. I learned that I had to do my own research. You can't count on GPs to help you, they don't know enough.

[@naturalbaby]

OP in the last story: Don't set yourself on fire to keep others warm. You need to stay no contact your parents and your siblings are assholes. No one stood up for you and I 100% believe its due to you not being a typical macho man.

[@platinum_noelle]

I went to the original post, and they kept trying to defend their parents and siblings and it was so sad to see. They even said their siblings are good, but that that ~half of them _don't know why they're NC with the parents._ OP was severely neglected (not being allowed access to any food outside of their siblings' table scraps? Are you f*cking kidding me?), and several of his siblings never cared to notice. That, in my books, makes them just as bad as the parents, and I feel so sad for OP

[@Snipergoat1]

Sounds to me like they are plenty warm without him. OP is just pissed off to learn that his snowflake wasn't as special as he thought it was.

[@smiley4995]

Can you elaborate on the sibling part?

[@Barlmoro]

yes do not burn yourself for them , scourge earth feels so much better.

[@KeyClavis]

If they didn't notice (or didn't care) that he was NC for 7 years, then they never cared and never will. OP has really good reason there to believe that they did NOT love him. I was emotionally and mentally abused as a child. When I started 6th grade, I moved to a parochial school (and therapy). One day I was called into Father 's office. My mom was there and the Father told her that he was very worried about me because I had somehow gotten the idea that my dad didn't love me. I still remember the look on his face when my mom hugged me and said "She's right. He doesn't." Then she broke down because she knew how fucked up that was. OP is better off without them.

[@emtims1670]

How TF do you not notice that you haven't spoken to your child in 7 years? My Mom would flip if she hadn't heard from me in 7 weeks, tbh.

[@SongBird101]

7 days for me lol

[@mask938]

I think my parents would freak out if they hadn't seen or heard from me in 7 hours.

[@TarisLuna]

Right? My parents and I have rather loose contact (because we respect that we have separate lives even though we are family) but we will update or just check in every now and then.

[@wmdkitty]

My parents have nearly broken down my door because my phone was on "Do Not Disturb" and I was sleeping and they couldn't reach me.

[@itsjustme7487]

@@SongBird101 LOL. I was also going to say that.

[@MizTameRumors]

'If you can't be a cashier you can't do anything' Not true at all...I couldn't do retail because I can't do the smiling politely thing when people are being rude. Also retail knows it's a shit job, OP's frankly abusive father want lose any respect because a 17 year old quit- eye roll

[@lindajacobs1487]

I'll bet old dad wouldn't last a week as a cashier!

[@coin0matic]

HR is there to prevent to company from getting sued, it's not there to protect you. However, this actually is a situation that can go to HR. The boss is questioning and harassing OP about their medical status, which IIRC, is pretty freaking illegal

[@theslavicdoomerandfighter2631]

Damn, those parents must have some internet explorer brains.

[@kimberlyterasaki4843]

Sounds like they had so many kids, they literally forgot one of them existed.

[@funkijote]

@@kimberlyterasaki4843 Yeah, that is a wildly irresponsible number, even if you're not resource constrained, you're time and attention constrained. My parents had 8, and did a good job with us but still was not an endeavor with a high likelihood of everyone coming out of it ok.

[@theyellowshoe]

Story one, not everyone can handle "customer service" jobs, I've known since my 33 yr old son was about 7 years old that he is NOT a people person aka introvert. Myself I can handle people, though I'm an introvert myself just not as bad as my son. Cashier is not "the easiest job", I've been a cashier for many years.

[@dragonriderabens9761]

Honestly, the father is probably one of the people who make cashier jobs 10x harder than they need to be just by looming down on the position

[@jennifer1862]

I don't know the full extent of the situation, but it would be very good to try and teach him how to "fake face." As an introvert myself, faking face has helped me out a lot. I'm now a SAHM, but - when I go back into the workforce- I know it'll help me.

[@Mewse1203]

Title story: NTA NTA NTA let me make this perfectly clear: The way they treated OP is disgusting. They tried to blame OP for "being petty" when they didn't notice for SEVEN YEARS. I don't care if it's 2 or 22, if you can't treat all your kids with love and respect, don't have them. I am so sorry OP. That sounds horrible. It's not unreasonable to feel the way you do. Even if you went to no contact to punish them and make them miss you, that's a valid feeling. They brought you into this world. They had a duty to take care of you and failed that. As far as " destroying a family that was doing just fine without me" I say thus: what you did is show them the truth. They've gone their whole lives thinking they were good parents. Dad is sick and looking at his mortality and you are a shining reminder of his failures. All you did is make sure he didn't die believing a lie, and if he survives, maybe they'll pull their heads out of their asses and try to be better.

[@PuppyKatt]

I doubt if any of them will "pull their heads ..." They have to find them, first.

[@gannicusfinch7068]

"Everything came out, including me." LOL.

[@AuntLoopy123]

"I can't see you working, so how do I know if you're working?" "Am I getting my work done and handed in on time?" "Yeah." "Then I'm working." NTA, and go to HR.

[@jackspring7709]

The fact that those "parents" didn't even realise OP went 'no contact' tells me everything about them: btw - they will expect OP to look after them when they are old and vulnerable, I hope he tells them to pound sand and ask the other siblings. P.S. The name is pronounced 'Usheen' :)

[@NoOne-ex4bz]

Not much one can do, if they don't notice after 7 years they won't notice in another 7 years. You can't expect any thing from them going forward. A blood line is important, but it alone does not make famly.

[@DragonbornMike-ym2er]

"to be fair there were nine kids" not sure those parents would've been able to even handle two.

[@MarkNarrations]

Heading to bed but just to mention, checked the time stamps for title story as I got them out of order today. Much love and good night all

[@Tammohawk1]

Sweet Dreams dear friend.

[@F.G_7even]

Gib me banana waffle when u wake up

[@broken_queer_but_fighting8589]

Sleep well much love💜💜🤗🤗💜💜🤗🤗

[@katiesmith2031]

Goodnight and sweet dreams

[@bethanntay]

Good night. Sleet well!!

[@jeremyhellen8234]

Mark, one thing set off my alarm bells: HR IS NOT THERE TO HELP YOU!!! NOT NOT NOT! HR is there to safeguard corporate interest, which generally means disallowing bad behavior. But it is not there to help YOU.

[@Doublemonk0506]

But even in Story 2, OP will get justice. At least, if OP is armoring up. No one wants to get a harassment lawsuit

[@jeremyhellen8234]

@@Doublemonk0506 Oh no, her going to HR is definitely the right choice here. It was just Mark's side remark in his reasoning that set off alarm bells for me. The idea that HR is there for you is a pernicious myth which can bite people in the butt

[@Doublemonk0506]

@@jeremyhellen8234, you're right. According to Human Resources mba, the role of HR is to manage staffing, administrate compensation (pay), set up employee benefits, overlook the process of performance appraisal, and deal with the company's law compliance. Only law compliance helps employees with other workers. That's why unions exist

[@j.munday7913]

HR is only there to keep the company from getting sued. Granted... this means they will help you if they feel like the other employee is doing something they could be sued for. But they're not there to help YOU specifically. I think they would care a lot about a manager trying to pry into your personal health information. Definitely document and talk to them.

[@Doublemonk0506]

@@j.munday7913, yeah, the name human relations makes it seem like it's there to help people. Which it does, but it isn't a union. HR is there to benefit the company in terms of human relations (i.e. staffing, legalities, staffing). A union exists to give workers a voice in the company by making the workers an essential and legal block in the engine of the company

[@Mewse1203]

Story 2: NTA it isn't on him to manage your health or understand what you can or can't do. Coming back to work is not the same as taking a plane. Go to HR. It seems like he is aggressively trying to use your health status as a way to injure you professionally.

[@sagesaria]

Story 1: Directly threatening to sabotage your future job hunting is abusive. Period.

[@ChrisAndCats]

I do agree with the father though that they have to learn to deal with things though. Kids now are too soft, they can't cope with things, give up, etc. Op needs to learn to toughen up, learn to let it roll off them. I think it would have been better to have found something then left. I've had jobs I absolutely hated - I also don't like people at all - but learned how to deal and to find something to go to before leaving.

[@donchichivagabond1578]

Going SEVEN years no contact and feeling good and bitter the whole time. Only to come back and find out no one knew you were gone. LOL!🤣

[@greninjastorm6734]

Mental health is always important. If your job has become too overwhelming, then it might be in your best interest to step away and take the time to recover You are always the most important person to yourself

[@mariem8705]

I agree, it’s just hard when you have to pay bills and have others to take care of. I’m happy op doesn’t have to worry about that kind of stuff yet.

[@karenbanda1100]

Had a job where the last year there my stomach hurt every day because the boss was so toxic. After I left, it took 3 months before it stopped hurting. At least now I can look back and laugh at how bad it was.

[@theresaduffy8222]

And you are always your own best advocate. No one is going to be as invested in your personal happiness and peace of mind as you will be.

[@platinum_noelle]

OP's dad in the first story is exactly the reason for her social anxiety and breakdowns that resulted from work. My dad is the same type of person, and even now I'm so terrified of accidentally making someone mad at work that I drive myself insane and into mental corners/breakdowns at work. CS jobs are fine for people who can handle rude and nasty people treating them subhuman, but for people with social anxieties and histories of emotional abuse (like OP's), it can be an absolute nightmare. Being afraid to tell someone their coupon is expired, for example, could lead to the anxiety spiking and causing you to deteriorate. Some people just aren't good with face-to-face customer service interaction, and that's ok, because there are jobs for everyone out there. The dad claiming that being a cashier is the easiest job is likely because he's an aggressive person who has no issues hounding others and making his opinion known, even when it's at the cost of the mental wellbeing of the people around him, and because he likely considers all min wage work to be easy like many older people do. Nobody should be shamed for leaving a job that makes them miserable. In the title story, why did the comment not also point out the abuse and neglect that OP was completely justified for being upset about? Like, they literally treated him the same way the Dursleys treated Harry Potter. That's not ok. And using having 9 kids as an excuse, it's not. They chose to have 9 kids, and chose to literally decide that one of them didn't deserve meals or a bed or any kind of basic human decency.

[@blandoatmeal1273]

Title story nta and op is actually an amazing human being! Despite being straight up abused by his parents for years, left out on the floor, left out of meals to just get scraps, he managed to get himself to and through college all by himself. Then when op finds out one of his abusers is deathly sick he decides to be the bigger person and go back and forgive them so everyone can get closure. When they say they didn't notice one of their children had gone no contact for 7 years op finally breaks, like anyone would have in the situation. Then afterwards looks back and is still the one saying maybe I could have been better. Op you are stronger than me and likely most people and you deserve the love and care you get from your relationship and any new family you acquire going forward.

[@maggpiprime954]

Story 1: NTA. It took me nearly 30 years to learn that I wasn't cut out for retail. I'm glad you allowed yourself space for good mental health and took yourself out of that setting.

[@browhattheactualfu-2659]

And that Dad is doing too much over his daughter quitting. He needs just calm down

[@OZARKMOON1960]

Last story- my heart breaks for OP. for whatever reason, he was the lost child out of 9 and they will never change. stay no or low contact and live your best life. at this point, after their terrible actions, those parents are never doing to change.

[@andreavanhoof6047]

Last Story: Stay no contact again permanently!

[@LadyTroubadour]

Love how his parents have time for both work and volunteering but don't have time to even bother doing a head count of the baseball team's worth of children they chose to have.

[@jennstewart3003]

Story 4: Buddy, I'm sorry. You realized that they are exactly who you thought they were when you were a kid. I totally understand why you went back. You hoped you were wrong and that your parents were just overworked and couldn't afford you the time you wanted, but they aren't. You discovered the reverse superhero. You know the one where the person you looked up to growing up (whether it be a celebrity, family member, friend, neighbor, etc) turned out to be the exact opposite of who you thought they were. Instead, you learned your parents were exactly who you thought they were and that is just as heartbreaking as we all want to believe in the best about our parents. I'm so sorry and I hope you'll consider all your life the last 7 years to be worth continuing down your own path. You went to University, found a partner, presumably a career you are happy with, and I'm sure friends that make up for family. Grieve what you've lost but celebrate what you have instead and live your best life without them. Good luck and God bless. (PS Homophobia has no place in God's kingdom, anyone who says otherwise has no place either.)

[@renoia3067]

Yes! The only thing that isn't welcome in the Kingdom of Heaven is HATE.

[@Tammohawk1]

1. NTA OP, you're dad is a class A jerk. And I'm sorry. He doesn't deal with the public on a daily basis like a store clerk does and doesn't have to put up with the craziness that people spew. Especially during this pandemic. Right now I feel those people should be getting hazard pay. 4. NTA How can you be a parent and not realize that you haven't spoke with one of your kids for 7 years! Seven years! This breaks my heart.

[@C.CurrySims]

Agreed

[@lorifiedler13]

Hope dad us prepared to support OP for a long time.

[@wmdkitty]

IKR? My parents worry if I haven't talked to them in 24 hours.

[@Doublemonk0506]

Story 3: Ammonia is good for plants as it is composed of nitrogen. However, too much ammonia is toxic. The dose makes the poison

[@samuelwoodouse4482]

Still on story 1 cannot wait to find out how this comment relates to story 3

[@Doublemonk0506]

@@samuelwoodouse4482, it's a reference to a comment that Mark makes

[@Davtwan]

If OP’s dad reputation hinges on how good his employee recommendations are, then he didn’t have much of a reputation to begin with. Or, at least, not a stable one.

[@sonialinsey8083]

He stocks shelves, it’s not like he’s a physician. You can’t lose a license to stack things. His reputation basically didn’t exist. You can always go somewhere else to do that job….

[@mikal9904]

@@sonialinsey8083 His response to his daughter’s emotions being “you’re making me look bad” is very telling. He didn’t even care or think about how she felt before he had his tantrum.

[@owl7072]

Story 1: NTA. I had a job similar to that. I wasn't a cashier, but everything Op described is exactly what I was going through towards the end of me working there, it's just that I was fired rather than resigned because my parents straight up wouldn't let me resign because they cared more about me getting paid rather than that I borderline having mental breakdowns and anxiety attacks after almost every shift. I can't even watch commercials about or related to the place I worked without the possibility of completely shutting down for a few minutes to a few hours. That dad has his priorities in all the wrong places, his kid is more important than his damn reputation.

[@Barlmoro]

i worked in a callcenter for thomas cook branch and the customers was so agressive that i lost my fun to even plan my own hollidays.

[@crazy4cheddar]

Three videos, in one day?! Thanks Mark!!! I appreciate all the hard work you do. :)

[@BotWhisperer]

3:26 in and I find it hilarious the stockboy/delivery boy father is all on a high horse about his teenage daughters work ethic

[@Mewse1203]

Story 1: NTA OP made a good decision in choosing their mental health above the job. Dsd needs to understand: OP is 17, that job full expected Op to quit. His reputation isn't going to get hurt because no one expects a 17byear old to be the most reliable of workers. That's the whole point of working at that age: to learn reliability and responsibility. He should be proud, shebknew what she did or did not want. instead he's punishing her and now trying to make it to where she won't get any help. OP saying "like I'd trust him to be a reference" is very telling about the kind of person he is. If this is how he acts, I doubt his reputation is that great anyway. I'm 38 and a former retail manager. OP leaving wasn't an unexpected possibility.

[@Doublemonk0506]

From the father's attitude, it sounds less like the business hired OP because of a reference and more like they hired OP because they couldn't deal with an adult tantrum. Like geez, tell me that isn't an adult tantrum from the father

[@Mewse1203]

@@Doublemonk0506 I would if I could, but I can't so I won't.

[@Doublemonk0506]

@@Mewse1203, no one should lie 😉

[@dizzysdoings]

The one about the teenager was so sad. I felt bad for them. Family is too busy to take them to get their license. They were glad to have people agreeing with them for once. And of course, the story itself.

[@Mewse1203]

Story 3: the best revenge is living a great life.

[@gurglequeen433]

The other day my manager told me she appreciated how upbeat and good I am with customers. I told her I'm just really good at hiding how much I hate people.

[@KatieB33]

When you are being bullied and they say record everything, include the names of any witnesses. People will trust a third party over the victim. As disgusting as that is.

[@charimonfanboy]

why is it disgusting to trust two people giving the same story more than just one person claiming a story?

[@KatieB33]

@@charimonfanboy it probably should say people will only trust you if you have a witness. (Except bullies make sure they are never caught.) But I would have to listen again to remember what I was commenting about 🤦‍♀️😂

[@moonfish6588]

I wish Poppy all the happiness and pets in the world. Btw thanks Mark for your service. We love you 💗

[@SailorStarfire1000]

Story 4 advice: Go NC after getting your own closure. Give them something to chew on, and if they want to reconnect, ignore them and when they ask you to talk to them, spit their toxicity back in their faces.

[@AtomicSaurus0]

Last Story: OP shows that he doesn't need his worthless piece of sh*t of parents. He's better off not having them in his life. This might sound petty, but show them a pic of you having a more fruitful and happy life compared to their sh@tty one's. He is strong and resilient, a trait that wish I have.

[@frith.calluna]

S1 - NTA I've worked as a cashier too for a few months. The store had very vague promotions that left people screaming in my face about ''false advertising'' many times a day. Thankfully, I managed to let most of it go and just thought those people were silly. I only cried once because I was incredibly stressed and my shift manager got angry because I didn't know something I couldn't have known. These types of jobs look easier than they are. Being insulted and having items thrown at you takes a toll on your mental health. If you can't handle that and would rather look for a different job, then that's perfectly acceptable. You shouldn't be made to cry at your job. S4 - NTA OP, I'm sorry your family has failed you. You have every right to be upset. Choose happiness. If that means going no contact with your family, then that's what you have to do. Best wishes to you, OP!

[@MizTameRumors]

Damn imagine caring so little about one of your kids that you don't even notice you went NC for 7 whole years. That's absolutely insane.

[@catandrobbyflores]

I work the floor at my retail job and I've cried in the bathroom because of how customers treated me. There are days when I want to just walk out and not look back. Nta.

[@PowerControl]

He is small and inscure. So he his self confidence relies on things nobody cares on, except himself.

[@lemondropped8426]

Story 2 reminded me of what i told my dad when he didn't see me doing my homework and said "why don't you have homework" I said "you don't see me poop, do you want me to take the shit out of the toilet for you to see?". was what i said rude? yes. did it work? also yes

[@waltdoherty540]

Re: No Contact Parents. Living well is the best revenge. Do that and don't give these idiots a second thought.

[@DameNickum]

Not everyone can smile and interact with the public. It’s not worth the mental stress. NTA I’m an RN and happy that not everyone can handle blood and trauma, I wouldn’t have a job if anyone can do it!

[@Taecoconut]

The title made me laugh but it’s also so sad. “Tell me you’re the unwanted ignored child without telling me you’re the unwanted ignored child”

[@itrasheditgood]

Idk, OP seems to be putting too much stock into people who just don’t care about them. I mean they never even noticed their absence, so my question is why bother. No matter what they won’t win, so it’s probably better to let it go completely, make their own family and create a large friend circle so that they feel loved and supported in good times and bad, because they will need it.

[@Trinandrhino]

"HR is there to protect you" no it isn't, HR is there to protect the company from liability. Thinking otherwise is dangerous and wrong.

[@Cocollyt]

Yassssss just refreshed and this popped up!

[@olingecko]

Part of growing up is learning what things you do and don't like to do. Nothing wrong with trying something, deciding it's not up your alley, and respectfully resigning.

[@ttrev007]

HR is to protect the company not the employee. Although sometimes it can be helpful to contact them if you have been documenting the problem.

[@burningtree5]

Thanks for all the videos today!

[@TsukiKageTora]

Fun fact: we watched my friend’s two dogs throughout winter. When spring rolled around the grass where the dogs have peed (all parts of our huge yard) was thriving and growing bigger and faster than the rest of the lawn

[@LadySynako]

Three stories in one day?! Ohhh yeahh!!!!

[@MsLady-gb3gy]

Op, you are not wrong and deserve to be missed in loved ❤ ♥ 💕

[@car0ndelet]

Regarding the remote work story, OP should have a paper trail for their state’s department of employment or an attorney if necessary. HR is there to protect the company, not the individual employee. It’s far too easy for companies to be discriminatory or to take retaliatory action as the onus for evidence in many states falls on the employee

[@grobanite4ever85]

Yeah if it is a right to work state! Those states are pro business!

[@hollywade6761]

Mark Narrations, I am so incredibly impressed with your kind wisdom and relevant commentary. You are truly a good person.

[@lorifiedler13]

Not only did the parents not notice OP went NC for 7 years,but the siblings they helped raise didn't seem to either.

[@jola6279]

When I come on and see Mark uploaded I get so gassed for the next 20 mins

[@sammyk.6457]

What a title can’t wait to hear it

[@GinHindew110]

Title story: dafuq were the parents doing volunteer work when their own children were in need? That tells you everything you need to know

[@NovaGirl8]

Story 1: Dad thinks he is some VIP when he's just another company grunt. I think dad is a narcissist.

[@itrasheditgood]

OMG, I feel really bad for OP in first story. Not every job is for everyone. It took years before I realized that I can not be a cashier or in any similar work because of my fear of crowds. I’m a PSW in home care, which suits me better, just because I do way better one on one with people. OP better get their licence because the freedom from that douch bag of a father would be unimaginable

[@jennilynne1977]

Much love to you Mark and everyone else as well.

[@bethanntay]

Another amazing video!!

[@impandagrl3974]

"... so I am probably being unreasonable in expecting that they might notice that I had cut contact." This broke my heart and sent me back in time when I would have thought the same thing. I spent my childhood and early adulthood adoring my family and when their callous unconcern ripped my heart into shreds I believed them that it was my fault; that I was expecting too much and being unreasonable. Then I got some real friends. Turns out people can and do remember things that are important to someone they care about. Turns out they do check in on you and miss you when you're not there. And a million other things that I hope you experience as far away as possible from those people who never deserved you. You are valuable. You deserve to be around people who care that you exist. They're out there. I personally am done begging people to be around me who clearly don't want to. Their loss. You are doing great without them and I wish you all the best in your new life free from the toxic influence of those people.

[@alitop998]

I love seeing that puppy with the thought bubble of a heart ❤️ it reminds me of my dog Eleanore. She is fluffy and very loving 🥰

[@MolotovHunter]

Prepping for tomorrow's dinner, ramen. I bought the ingredients, onions, carrots, meat, ect, then cook it up in a big batch for my parents. :D

[@diddykitty746]

I'm early but I want to save the videos for tomorrow or maybe later while I'm drawing.

[@nyx.8254]

Heh, same. I always save a video to listen to at breakfast

[@juliemcgugan1244]

Last story: Your parents have proven, both back when you were a child and when you moved out and went no contact, that they don’t care about you. Why put yourself through that? Just because you Dad is sick, why continue to let them crap all over you? Just drop them and build yourself the life that will make yourself happy.

[@Gloria-ro4vn]

After 25 years, I retired from an HR Department. First of all, remember upper management has ONE priority, and it's not you. Employees are important, but only to make sure it makes the business money and does not cause them lose money. Supervisors have one goal and that is to get ahead in their career and score points by getting the job completed fast. Over the years, I can't tell you how many times employees were hurt on the job and deserved workers comp or disability pay because a Supervisor ordered them to do something they were not qualified to do or do something the was unsafe. Department Heads and inturn the top brass almost always took the Supervisors side in disputes. They automatically FOUGHT every workers comp claim filed. Even if a business allows employees to work from home, if a Supervisor states he needs you physically at work, guess whose side they are going to take. I'm not saying don't go to HR, just be cautious in your approach and DO NOT makes demands.

[@maleandrolemale9467]

If my family hadn't noticed that they hadn't talked to me for 7 years, I would just tell them and Eoghan to eff off and go back to my bf and create my own family that treated me like the piece of gold that I am!

[@tinalongfellow7170]

ANY JOB THAT MAKES YOU CRY ISNT WORTH KEEPING.

[@Ashenicky2009]

Good video 😁 was hoping to hear my story on here lol but oh well, great video as always.

[@raeishimura]

Title story, if your family hasn't noticed you went NC for 7 years, you have no reason to feel bad that they didn't even notice. It proves what kind of people they are and reinforces your reason for going NC in the first place. They fully knew what they were doing with how they treated you. You should cut contact and keep it cut. They clearly don't deserve to have you around if they treat you like they did. This time, tell them flat out you are cutting all contact with them, tell them they were horrible parents and absolutely mistreated you, and then enforce that.

[@novabrilliant4510]

Just got back from a ride and find even more waffle! You are amazing, Mark 😊

[@Ospyro3em]

Story 1- NTA, and dad is completely wrong when he said "if you can't handle something simple like cashier work, you won't be able to get any job". I can't do customer facing or customer service work. However, I've been doing office admin work and absolutely love it.

[@t1995roger10]

Three stories today!? Mark you spicy so-and-so Make sure you look after yourself!

[@stanojevicnatasa2514]

I love your little dog character that appears in your videos.

[@AngelaMerici12]

Face to face service can be draining in not well appreciated.

[@teresaw9668]

No HR is there to protect corporate

[@Mintounette]

NGL Mark looks like he gives great hugs while laughing...

[@Arkryal]

Story 2: Don't go to HR !!! People have this insane illusion that HR is some type of employee advocacy branch. It's NOT. They are there to protect the company from liabilities, plain and simple. They are not your friends. This boss likes to micro-manage people. Now they're under the microscope. After 12-18 months of office workers working from home, the need for such management has, in many companies, proven to be useless and unnecessary. He needs to make a big show of how valuable he is, but he's on thin ice, I promise you that. Just do good work, log your time (keep a journal in 15 minute intervals. Every 15 minutes, write a few words indicating what you're doing). Keep all correspondence, emails and if you lawfully can and it's within company policy, record phone calls or video chat meetings. Just make sure you're productive with or without him. If he pushes too hard, it'll blow up in his face, and all you have to do is let it.

[@bloonh8tr619]

Just woke up from a nap and this is a welcome surprise. Have a good nights rest Mark!

[@HairBear1225]

Calling shenanigans on the dad's blanket statement on retail. I've had some damn tough jobs, and I know for a fact I couldn't do that

[@WabbitHunter68]

HR isn't there to protect the employee. It's there to prevent the company from legal issues.

[@charlesjohnson9034]

The best revenge is having a happy and successful life.

[@AmandaGeyerSnobahr]

HR is not there to protect YOU. It's there to protect the COMPANY. Is it in the company's interest to get rid of Problematic Manager, or is one person just being a loudmouth whiny so-and-so? Which situation has the worse legal ramifications if action is, or isn't, taken? Which one will impact the company's bottom line? That's what HR is for.

[@Doublemonk0506]

You're right. Even Human Resources mba agrees with you (No, I do not know which mba this is). Although, a harassment lawsuit might scare HR into booting the boss

[@addicted2mako]

I was basically convinced to go into teaching on the sole basis that I was good with kids and that there are no shortage of jobs. In reality, teaching incorporates everything that stresses me out in a career, especially with my ADHD and anxiety. I crashed and burned out during my student teaching semester, and vowed that I’d never set foot in a classroom unless I’m taking courses or when it belongs to my future children’s teachers. I’m studying for my future dream job, and my only regret is that I didn’t stand up for myself earlier.

[@pineroqgtm]

🤣 they didn’t even notice !!