Parents Expect Their Daughter To Care For Their Children And They Want Another - AITA Reddit Stories

[@AndyyWithAY]

I have no sympathy for the parents in the first story. Instead of popping out babies they couldn't care for, they should have been in therapy. They actually had the resources to pay for it. The parents are selfish POS and traumatized 4 children.

[@imweakfordeaky]

5 children - OP (17) , Brother 1 (10m) , Brother 2 (7m), Brother 3 (3m) , Baby (9 months)… And the Parents were going to try for *another* ??

[@i_am_bisexual_or_something3132]

Based on the ages 3 of them (17, 10 and 7) is definitely going to have some trauma the 9 month old won't remember but I don't know about the 3 year old as on average people don't have memories from before they where 4 years old

[@PrincessQ-fj9ly]

I know right? As an aspiring mother myself, this is one of my biggest pet peeves, deadbeat parents popping out dozens of kids when they shouldn't have even had one. All while thinking about how a new baby can benefit THEM. It's disgusting.

[@lisadgingersnaps9843]

Parentification is wrong for so many reasons. I know a man who is 15 years younger than his next sibling, and there are many siblings. When his sister got married and moved out, he thought his mother was leaving. He was 5 and thought his actual mother was his grandmother. Much therapy followed in later years.

[@paulleckner8235]

Wow! That is harsh!

[@allisoncastle]

Oh my god. I cannot imagine that trauma and confusion.

[@gaxalee7392]

Story 1: NTA Let’s see grandma or any other “shitty parents” sympathizers offer up all of their free time to raise those kids. Op has been parentified so much that she is literally the most mature person she can talk to; that’s awful. When she was talking specifically about the three year old and the nine month old, I was fully expecting her to say they call her “mom” instead of the bio.

[@fabiancaceres1473]

mark didnt show a lot of the comments but some stuff that OP commented 1) dad send money to aunt without any context or text so we are guessing its for the kids and is NC with anyone 2) grandma is doing the same after aunt called her and "chew her up a new one", so grandma has just vanish, no support or visits, she just vanish

[@KyrieChii]

@@fabiancaceres1473 Thanks for sharing the extra info! And sadly I'm not surprised. But I think these kids really lucked out that they had such an amazing sister & aunt (who not only _wanted_ children, but is financially capable of taking care of them without help if she doesn't think going after the parents for it is worth it).

[@fabiancaceres1473]

@@KyrieChii honestly i believe grandma vanish cuz she knew that now she is a posible babysitter and not want to help taking care of the kids

[@duckeh1952]

@@fabiancaceres1473 yeah that's also the reason why she gave OP that stupid "advice". If OP isn't there, kids will be pushed to grandma.

[@rowan5335]

My brother thought i was his mother till 5. One day he hurt himself and ran past her to me and Mom went nuclear. She forgot again soon enough.

[@janicewilcox8590]

Mark. Don't listen to the person that chewed you out about the positives in a negative situation. I didn't read it, but I've been in that situation. My sister treated me like garbage my while life. It took me nearly 35 years to stop taking her abuse. When I cut her off it was the moment I set myself free. There are positives in negative actions sometimes. Cutting off a sibling/parent/ family is hard but sometimes it's the thing you needed to do to save yourself.

[@hayleyg7719]

You have to see the positives in a negative situation, it's a very grown up response. Otherwise you'd just get bogged down with negative emotions constantly

[@janicewilcox8590]

@@hayleyg7719 yes!

[@jeanipin3430]

My older sister hated my guts all my life, it was sometimes hell with her, simply because I was born. No connection now since mum passed. Life has been so much less stressful. She practically lived off our mother, stole from her, her daughters too. I ended up opening a bank account for her, as she was putting a little spare away in a wallet. Trouble was, they knew where it was kept. I called it her extra insurance, she couldn't go out herself, so a nice young man from the bank would call in to see her, a few times after he called for her to sign for her account, he thought the world of her and he passed her home on his way home. I was able to buy her things to make her life a little more comfy, the bank book had a space through the centre where could be written what was spent and what on. She was so much happier.

[@alezot6141]

I think this is a good outcome. The parents are not stuck in a toxic marriage anymore, the mother is going therapy, and the kids (especially OP) are in a much healthier environment now.

[@katiesmith2031]

Agreed they are with people that want them and op is no longer a parent just a sibling so they can feel safe but not rely on their sibling to be the parent

[@rahulmodi8706]

@@katiesmith2031 she has the safety net if her Aunt supporting her.

[@katiesmith2031]

@@rahulmodi8706 exactly she can be herself and not the parent she finally gets to know what being a teenager really is

[@LunaMane]

Indeed. It's a shame that OP had to go through so much, and the parents are still selfish. But given a lot of child abuse/neglect stories that end with a young life that ended too soon I'd rather this happen than the worse outcome.

[@Russman67]

Neither of these people wanted/were capable of being parents. OP was the dictionary definition of parentification.

[@SLTheOneAndAwesome19]

Story 1: OP: Is a teenager, has school, is basically raising 4 kids alone OP's Mom: Is an adult, with a husband who should be her partner in raising the children, theoretically has more control of her work life than OP does of her school life OP's Mom, after 2 weeks: THIS IS TOO HARD OP: Is it?

[@imweakfordeaky]

Story 1 : so let me get this straight - Mother and Father had FIVE kids (17y.o., 10y.o., 7y.o., 3y.o. AND a 9-month old baby), and were leaving the oldest to *all* the childcare burden, argued and accused each other of cheating all the time - and thought “hey, let’s add ANOTHER baby to the mix”… ? Uh yeah, NO. Then when OP (aka Oldest / Scapegoat/ Free Babysitter/ Extra Parent) moved out, “Mum” freaked out and suddenly “isn’t cut out to be a mum” - then why in the HELL did you have so many and contemplating adding another to that shitshow, lady ? Oh, and *of course* “Dad” did a runner !

[@carolroberts4614]

And she only did it for two weeks!

[@ineedhoez]

I'm not cut off for kids but i keep hating them😂😂😂

[@damien678]

"My father has gone NC" and nothing of value was lost

[@PrincessQ-fj9ly]

Yes. Good riddance to him.

[@genericdragon7260]

Having another child to fix a marriage is sick! Run OP! She's not cut out to be a mom....so she just keeps having children? Insane! Run OP!

[@duckeh1952]

I think outcome is best possible.. I wonder which one, mom or dad, came up with idea of baby every time their marriage was on the rocks. Both men and women use that as tactic. I also know someone who loved BABIES..and once they were not babies but toddlers, she pushed them aside and had another baby. She had like 9 kids and 5-6 baby daddys.

[@PrincessQ-fj9ly]

@@duckeh1952 Good grief. Sounds like another perfect example of a woman who should've NEVER had children. As an aspiring mother myself, this royally pissed me off! I can't stand people who pop out dozens of babies when they shouldn't have even had one. It's so infuriating to me! ಠ⁠︵⁠ಠ

[@Mewse1203]

Story 1: NTA babies don't fix relationships. If they did, why have the other 4 not helped? Grandma is an asshole too for trying to manipulate OP into staying in her ABUSIVE situation. Op can be supportive of their parents relationships but not want them to put more child care on her. OP needs help and I hope she can escape ASAP. Edit Op is amazing. Doing what is best for everyone whether the parents like it or not is more adult than her parents. Edit 2 sounds like mom realized how much pressure she put in her child and maybe that's a positive. Still super selfish but at least the kids are in a place where they will be loved and cared for properly.

[@awaasproductions]

Exactly! If the youngest was ten or heck even five I wouldn't agree with it, but I'd see their "logic" but hell the youngest kid is 9 months old! Like you can't get more of a baby than that lol

[@terramarini6880]

She didn't realize anything, she was there begging her to come back and pick up her mess then she dumped (admittedly invited to) the siblings on her again when OP refused, the only difference is OP now has capable help. I give this mother no slack whatsoever, she dropped the ball and she sucks for that. Aunt is a superhero. Hope mom/dad gets themselves sterilized.

[@carolroberts4614]

I am so disgusted by the grandmother! I am a grandmother and great grandmother, and I can't comprehend turning down a cry for help like this! If it hadn't been for that lovely aunt, I shudder to think what would have happened to op and her siblings.

[@Keiji555]

And the mom made the first big, and positive decision as a mother for her kids. She's seeking mental health, she's handed custody to someone supportive, yet is capable of taking care of the children. Recognising where you went wrong, and yes, she wanted OP to take care of the kids again, but at least this decision was on OP's terms, and helped give everyone bitter medicine. Only person who didn't truly take it was the father. Admitting you are wrong is the first step to getting better.

[@PrincessQ-fj9ly]

​@@Keiji555I agree with you. Mom still has a lot of work to do and amends to make. But she seems redeemable compared to Dad who I consider to be a lost cause by this point. Since he practically abandoned the whole family and refuses to get therapy.

[@climaxstriker]

Parents: We need to have children to save our marriage. Me: Right.....because Attempts 1-4 worked out SO well....

[@Mewse1203]

Story 2: NTA everyone is bringing their dogs. They got the dog with the understanding that it works be coming on trips like this and it just sounds like he doesn't want to put in the work he agreed to put in when getting it. Edit: hmm it's almost as if you shouldn't let anxiety run your life...

[@marleyfrost215]

Right? Dog trainer here! I cannot believe all of the yta! If everyone else is bringing their dog she should too! I agree husband is being lazy.

[@mk_gamíng0609]

I bet the wife will have to do all the training but once thats done he will rock up, take credit it for it and be like "Whos a good boy"

[@brigidtheirish]

Yeah, I don't think the commenters actually read the post. This puppy *is* trained and the trip is *part of training.* OP doesn't want her husband to do *all* the work, she wants him to do *some* of the work *with her.*

[@lukaseldenrust2637]

@@marleyfrost215 especially since out of the 3 other dogs there were 2 more puppies so everyone saying you shouldn’t take the pup because she’s a puppy and might harm the older dogs was partially unfounded as there was only one older dog (which may not have been an old doggo either)

[@marleyfrost215]

@@lukaseldenrust2637 yes that too! I had puppy classes where people looked on in horror where giant breeds played with the smallest ones. Healthy socialized dogs and almost all puppies are typically very good at communicating with each other. I wouldn't worry about it at all and it turns out she didn't need to. The only red flag I saw was a trainer specific to GSDs. I've found most trainers that specialize in a breed especially large breed dogs don't know what they are doing. A dog is a dog. They all learn the same. Breeds can vary as far as drive, temperment and personality but shaping behaviors is always the same.

[@AndyyWithAY]

OP is completely right and at 17 some how the only same or mature one in this situation. This is toxic and she should go no contact as soon as possible. Call CPS! These parents need to be sterilized. Babies NEVER fix things, it only makes things worse because you know babies are stressful

[@Yvonne-Bella]

Right. I was also thinking op should just emancipate themself and adopt the kids. I know it's *_A LOT_* ,but after a year or 2 on their own with a good job under them, they grab their siblings and book it.

[@KyrieChii]

@@Yvonne-Bella Thankfully it doesn't look like this will be necessary. It would've been the worst outcome for OP, since she would've had to sacrifice so much more to pull it off. Thank God for her aunt.

[@gaiuscaesar3841]

The mother at least admitted that she has failed miserably, but seeks help. The "father" should be horse-whipped on the forum, what an absolute failure of a man-child.

[@metalequine]

@@Yvonne-Bella Emancipate herself and adopt the kids? That just makes the parentification "official" and OP would still be the parent. The point was to not have OP needing to be her siblings' parent.

[@2ELI7E]

For story 2 im saying NTA. I love how everyone who commented conveniently glossed over this one little detail "Me and husband got this dog specifically to go on trips with us" the husband made an agreement and did not want to follow through on it. If you got the dog specifically to accompany you on trips you cant reneg on it when you just dont want to deal with it. A dog is a commitment. If you werent up for that commitment then you shouldnt have gotten the dog.

[@carlrood4457]

Not really. The point wasn't taking the dog on A trip, but THIS particular trip because there were other people with much smaller, older dogs. They lucked out that it worked out, but could easily have been a disaster.

[@susankaempfer8427]

I’m also confused. Everyone else is bringing a dog. There are two of them to wrangle their dog. He also (unless op is just straight up lying, of course) wanted the dog for exactly this sort of outing and now he’s bailing for no good reason, other than he just can’t be bothered. I’m not even a dog person.

[@KE-hr4sb]

S1: I've noticed a lot of the times you see the parentified child turns out really mature, responsible, and organized for their age, because they HAD to be! Taking care of an infant is no joke. The sad thing is, you see the same sometimes in addict's kids: they end up having to fend for themselves at an early age. Just goes to show that parentification IS neglect and abuse. S2: NTA, but this is kind of a warning flag from your husband: You both agreed you got the dog for this purpose, but when things don't go his way or how he wants he gets frustrated and annoyed, so he expects you to deal with the "baby" stage and then he'll accept the dog coming once she's matured and fully trained? This is a preview into you having kids, OP. Love the dog tax, but that...does not look like a German Shephard lol, the face shape looks different. My mom got suckered into adopting a "white German Shepard" from a shelter. Blood tests confirm she's actually 3/4ths wolf.

[@mk_gamíng0609]

Also he tried to manipulate her by saying " One of the guests is not a dog person" Despite that not being true.

[@KE-hr4sb]

@@mk_gamíng0609 Yep noticed that too: "Our friend isn't a dog person (but she's bringing her own dog)."

[@brigidtheirish]

Also, he gets like this *regularly* whenever something requires initial effort. I get the anxiety when things get chaotic part, I've got an anxiety disorder *and* Asperger's so I understand *all too well,* but I'm self-aware enough to *recognize* the problem and *not own a dog.* OP is also completely right in that the puppy will have to be exposed to these situations in order to know how to deal with them later. It's called *training.* The puppy may well be a mixed-breed, though I somewhat doubt he's part wolf. It happens, but it's far more likely he's got some other sort of domestic breed in him.

[@bunnyslippers191]

Yes, that's not a German Shepherd Dog. That's a German Shepherd Dog and something(s) else. Pure bred GSD's are *never* white, at least if they are AKC registered GSD's. That one isn't even white, but more the color of a light Golden Retriever or a yellow Labrador Retriever, but without the drooping ears. She's also a bit fluffy around the ears and the tail. Her face and ears remind me of a Samoyed, but Sammies only get up to about 65 pounds in the males at full adulthood, so that makes me long for her owners to have their vet do a breed test to see just what all she has in her makeup. She may not be GSD at all, but a combination of other breeds.

[@Miroslava_Ivanova]

Sorry, but the OP never mentioned it was a German shepherd specifically, sheep dogs are a whole group, maybe it's a different breed? Also it might be some kind of crossbreed, maybe?

[@mellabihitsugya9826]

Story 2: idk if I'm just not getting the point here or what. But major NTA, your dog is like your kid. You don't take a vacation and leave your kid at home, plain and simple. I just can't understand the logic in the YTA comments.

[@freeinsc8552]

Story 1: That aunt needs to involve an attorney and the courts. She's not the parent or legal guardian. Emergencies happen. Those parents need to meet their financial obligations as well. I'll also take bets that the father will start dating after the divorce and start making more babies.

[@PrincessQ-fj9ly]

He better not. He needs to be snipped. Immediately.

[@KyrieChii]

Story 1 - Some people don't realize that what they're really after by having another kid 'to fix the relationship' isn't a 'band-aid' (something that would protect & help a wound heal) but 'stitches' (something meant to hold the torn edges together by force, in this case via responsibility/obligation). It never works & almost always results in resentment.

[@tishjanuary7379]

Mark I don’t comment that often but your positivity is the whole reason I come to your channel. You are never dismissive of anyones struggle & try to find the good that comes out of the bad.

[@MarkNarrations]

Aww thank you so much Tish 😊❤

[@marshmello3455]

Story 1: OP's parents be like, "We have 5 children who we do not care for and a terrible relationship. We should have have MORE children which will magically improve our situation!" What complete tools! Those edits gave me some hope for OP. She absolutely does not deserve to be abused and manipulated the way her parents were doing, and I am so glad she decided to go NC with them.

[@marybrown6756]

Story1: Trash, trash, trash. Poor OP!!! She and her Aunt are quality people, but those parents…… did I already say trash?

[@PrincessQ-fj9ly]

Yes you did. And you're right about them being trash. I think dad is the bigger piece of trash though because unlike mom who at the very least, admitted she was wrong and is getting the help she should've gotten years ago, he just upped and left. Probably to chase after a younger model to impregnate. I really hope that's not the case and he's just deserting, but I won't hold my breath.

[@RockinTheBassGuitar]

Story 2: if OP's dog is anything like my Shepherd they won't have any trouble with her going out to potty; they'll have trouble getting her to come inside. Also, the people thinking that bug dog will hurt the small ones don't have any experience with how dogs get socialized. All the YTA comments are baffling.

[@trash-hime]

Agreed, I don't understand these YTA comments. All the other families are bringing their own dogs. OP's dog has been through training sessions and it seems the only real concern is the "puppy energy", which is understandable. But OP is right in that you cannot train a dog to handle situations if you don't put the dog in the situation. Honestly it sounds like OP has a husband problem since it sounds like he wanted the dog but also wants nothing to do with the dog.

[@TsukiKageTora]

Exactly. My my brother’s dog (a boxer mix with 3 other types of dogs), not experienced with smaller dogs, met my 2 month old lab. She played with her so gently. She pins other dogs down roughly but when she did it to our pup, she did it gently. Like it was slow motion and our pup was fine (never cried in pain once) You can’t assume because a big dog meets a little dog it’s going to be like all the times in SpongeBob Plankton gets stepped on. Usually when dogs accidentally hurt another dog to the point of yelping, the another dog will stop what it is doing (if they aren’t fighting) Yeesh, these people severely don’t know anything about dogs and to assume the dog will hurt another dog simply because it is big? These idiots with the YTA comments either do not like dogs, have badly trained dogs, or don’t have dogs

[@robertx8020]

About the 'big dog ' not hurting the small(er) dog, I agree until a certain point Although it will not happen intentionally, it can still happen .. . It happened with my dogs a few time when playing 'fetch' where the larger dog was so focused on the ball that it overrun the smaller one on multiple occasions! While nothing serious ever happened it COULD have. You don't need intent to hurt someone so I can understand some of the concern!

[@TsukiKageTora]

@@robertx8020 to the point of excluding the dog from activities?

[@robertx8020]

@@TsukiKageTora NO! Did I say that?

[@Perishingflesh]

Story 2: Definitely NTA I don’t see why everybody except for OP should be able to bring their dog? That makes zero sense. Why is it only annoying if OP wants their dog but not annoying for everybody else to have their’s. The boyfriend sounds pathetic and can’t accept commitment I’d rethink that relationship honestly.

[@maximillian1109]

Yeah, especially since one of the other dogs are also a puppy. Not to mention that Shepherds are NOT giants. They are a medium size breed, comd on!

[@ivygomez8466]

@@maximillian1109 Yeah, but the dog is 75 lbs. that's a pretty big dog as someone with a 70lbs dog. My sister had a tiny, 10lbs dog and he comes on all the trips, while mine only comes sometimes. Smaller dogs are just easier to handle than bigger ones, I mean, my sister is 110lbs herself.

[@clwbchbabycakes]

Generation after generation after generation of parentification of the firstborn?? No Grandma, It's NOT the firstborn's DUTY to raise their siblings!!! It's the parents' duty - PERIOD.

[@eliability]

Story 1: NTA. As someone who’s been in a similar position for a really long time, I ended being extremely burnt out. OP is a better parent than their parents will ever be, and OP deserves better. She shouldn’t have had to take care of her siblings like that. They did absolutely amazing, and they’re a real trooper But they don’t deserve that abuse. I understand them caring as much as they do and i get them not wanting to put her younger siblings in that situation, and it’s so tough. Good luck to OP, really. I hope OP doesn’t end up with a bad burnout and I hope what they did doesn’t affect them too much in their future. They’re an amazing sibling. Maybe their aunt can help out? Story 1 Edits: They’re handling this amazingly, I couldn’t be prouder. OP’s parents are absolutely horrible. The audacity of them to get mad at OP for leaving and saying that OP doesn’t love their siblings when they even plan to keep contact with them and are gonna visit regularly. Ew. Story 1 Update: I feel terrible for their siblings. Their aunt is amazing and is truly a saint. It’s good that OP’s parents are probably gonna get divorced, but until they apologize and *actually* make an effort with OP and their siblings, they’re still bad and even then they’re gonna be AHs. This update made me feel warm inside, OP is amazing.

[@KyrieChii]

I hope OP is able to experience all the things her parents stole from her as a teenager, & that what they put her through doesn't affect her decision on whether or not to have her own children eventually (if she wanted them). That's something you see a lot in parentification situations, the sibling who had to raise their other siblings ends up not wanting their own kids because they already spent so much of their life raising someone else's. Aunt definitely needs to get those poor kids into therapy too.

[@TsukiKageTora]

I would absolutely not be with a man that tells me lies about getting a dog to involve in trips and leaves the dog home during a dog friendly trip. There are leashes and other ways to restrain and control a dog. Granted, OP should ask the others what they think first, but she isn’t an asshole for wanting her dog, they got for taking on trips, to be on a trip especially a pet friendly trip like that.

[@impagain]

Mark, don't ever lose your optimistic outlook on this stuff. Your "positive out of a negative" is so important to have in this dying world. Yes, the situation is still bad, but things are taking a positive turn and are on the right track to get better. But if you give up and say it's all a negative and nothing is good about it, you're not likely to get on the good track as quickly, or at all. At least, that's my experience. Keep up your positivity because we all need it.

[@ScooterBond1970]

Yeah, whoever was complaining about that can kick rocks, pound sand AND beat cheeks.

[@PrincessQ-fj9ly]

We sure do. A few wise people have said that "Out of evil, good would come." And I agree with that quote wholeheartedly. 😊

[@harryh4h720]

Imagine threatening calling the police on the aunt when they've actively been abusing there kids for 10 years

[@bbjjbb61]

Who the heck would chew Mark out for trying to find a positive in a messed up situation?? People are so dramatic. I remember when you said that and you repeatedly clarified what you meant so good on you Mark for looking for the positives in life. Never change, my friend. It's a truly admirable quality that is all to often lacking.

[@Ospyro3em]

Aunt needs a medal! And OP needs a big hug...

[@PrincessQ-fj9ly]

Agree. ❤

[@bgcorporation]

Story 2: NTA. Why is it fair everyone gets to bring their dogs, but she can't bring hers. Also what the hell is up with that moody ass husband. God, sounds like my father.

[@dizzysdoings]

Dog story, the people OP needed to ask were the other people going. If they didn't have a problem, then it shouldn't have been an issue.

[@SkyEcho751]

Story 1: And this is the reason I almost feel people should need a license to have children, the only reason I would vote against it if it came up is that it would mean the government would have control over everybody's reproductive functions. But the concept still stands, there are people who are clearly unfit to be parents and who should not be allowed to have children. Story 2: I am glad that things didn't end as bad as people worried it might.

[@soup331emd5]

S1: if I was the aunt, I wouldn't raise those kids without proof of a tubal ligation, divorce, and child support payments.

[@alyzu4755]

Wow, just heard the first part and NO, absolutely NOT the AH! The parents and the grandmother are INSANE! This sounds like a job for Nanny Jo Frost. OP is 17. She's the eldest sibling, NOT the parent. This poor girl. 😞 Good on the aunt for offering a home, but the authorities need to be alerted. Because the parents absolutely WILL put all the responsibility on the 10 year-old. Update: Glad the siblings are with OP and Aunt. And that OP is being taken care of. If only Mom had made her realization a long time ago. And if only Dad had been a decent human. Those poor kids (including OP). I hope their lives are better from now on.

[@Bonaduece]

Story 1: I'm not really surprised grandma didn't see a problem with oldest sibling taking care of younger siblings--the idea that kids should be kids and not workhorses is relatively new in human history. My grandmother was born in the 1920s. As the eldest sibling, she was the primary caregiver for the rest--and also the water-hauler and launderer (the creek that supplied all their water was about a mile away)--from when she was big enough to hold a baby until she married and moved out at 14. Of course, she didn't want that for her own kids, and worked even harder so they didn't have to, but great-grandma thought my mom was lazy as the day is long because she wasn't working from sunup to sundown.

[@carolroberts4614]

I doubt if op's grandmother would be very old! Probably 60 ish? I am 68 and I have grandchildren 10 years older than op. She just didn't want to be lumbered with the children herself! She disappeared rather suddenly, didn't she!

[@toongrowner1]

story 1: If the first few childrens didn't fix the marriage, what let them believe another would`? Like at what point do you realize that this relationship is simply just not working and you only doing harm by bring another life into this mess? Maybe there really should be a licence for being a parents

[@KyrieChii]

Some people don't realize that what they're really after by having another kid 'to fix the relationship' isn't a 'band-aid' (something that would protect & help a wound heal) but 'stitches' (something meant to hold the torn edges together by force, in this case via responsibility/obligation). It never works & almost always results in resentment.

[@stirlingarcher7972]

Story 1, you’re right. The whole situation is terrible but OP and her siblings are all in a much better place now then they were when it started. That IS a positive. OP will get to enjoy the rest of her youth. Her siblings will have real childhoods. This was the best possible outcome for the situation they were in. The ending was good.

[@Ainiewainy]

Story 1: I feel like the parents didn't really want another baby to fix their marriage. But wanted another one because they realised it's the way to keep OP at home for as long as possible.

[@rahulmodi8706]

Story 1: Some people shouldn’t be allowed to have kids. OP is a saint. Story 2: NTA, everyone is taking their dog. The husband is a weirdo and selfish.

[@thethirteenthroyal9491]

I really disagree. All the other dogs were very small, and if you have a dog of that size and personality than you know how over baring they can be. it makes sense for OP's husband to be anxious.

[@Mewse1203]

You ALWAYS have to find something positive even in a negative situation. That's how you get through life in when everything is shit. if you always look at only the negatives you're going to be miserable. The world isn't black or white. It's shades of gray.

[@Mewse1203]

@@aduckofsomesort but see that's the point. Reality isn't just either negative or positive. It can have bit of both even in the shittiest of situations. There is a difference between being positive despite reality and finding something positive within a negative situation. It's about realizing that reality isn't just all bad or all good. Sure the reality of a situation may suck, but it isn't toxic to find some positive in it to focus on. I'll give you a perfect example: A piece of human shit held multiple girls hostage for a decade among other despicable crimes. If you ask any of those (now) women if the entire situation was negative and they'll tell you there was some positive. In fact they love the kid that was birthed from the rape of one girl and I quote "It was fun. (Having the daughter) there with them was a welcome distraction"" That girl got freedoms they didn't, knew who her father was, and loved him. They could have hated her because she was the product of that situation but they didn't. The mom even said "This is his kid, you know. How do I feel about that?And she resembled him a lot, and I would look at her, and I just felt, like, she’s mine. She’s mine." And that's to say nothing of the comraderie and friendship they developed. They were in an unimaginably horrible situation and yet found something positive to help them through a shitty reality. That's not toxic, that's called coping

[@emmabateman3798]

Hey Mark, just wanted to say thank you for these stories! I have a chronic health condition, and it leaves me bedridden quite often. I have been in bed for a week, and your stories keep me going! I love your energetic and empathetic personality, you are awesome!

[@MarkNarrations]

Aww you are very welcome and I'm sorry to hear you're going through that ❤❤

[@Kimi_Khaos]

Hi Emma, I really hope you start feeling better soon. I also have a chronic illness (a couple actually, if I'm being completely honest, between my physical and mental health [chronic kidney disease and fairly debilitating panic disorder]) and Mark's videos help to keep my spirits up, as well. Just wanted to say, if you're ever having an especially bad day or are just bored, feel free to message me as I'm usually home with not terribly much to do and love making acquaintances online. It's pretty much the only way I meet new people as of late. If not, no worries or pressure at all, just thought it couldn't hurt to ask. Again, I really hope you're feeling better. Have a great weekend and stay safe out there.

[@emmabateman3798]

@@Kimi_Khaos aw thank you so much! That was so sweet of you to reach out. I will take you up on the offer sometime, and you make sure to do the same! I hope you get to feeling better soon!

[@damien678]

I can understand someone not liking hearing what you say, about positives coming from negatives, but as someone who had his first 20 years be just filled with abuse? I really appreciate the attitude, personally. It's much more constructive than the bitterness I still can't help feeling about everything, and is honestly healthier.

[@joeschmo622]

Even if the aunt's pretty much set, both those parents better contribute financially to ALL those kids' expenses.

[@DigitalCowboy000]

In the first story this is *EXACTLY* why people go no contact with their parents. Und then the parents come on Reddit complaining und wondering *WHY* their kid(s) have gone no contact. The OP *NEEDS* to contact CPS und report the parents.

[@samvoss6697]

I agree with you about the positive in a negative situation argument Mark! Yes, the whole situation is terrible. They kids have parents who never truly cared about them, as well as major parentification happening to OP. But the kids will now be with an adult who will give them the love and attention they deserve. They're in a good home now. I genuinely hope OP's mom becomes better over time, but the kids need to stay with the aunt

[@IndigoWhite]

Parentification of a child is abuse. That’s insane

[@IndigoWhite]

I’d honestly call CPS on them or give grandma an ultimatum

[@IndigoWhite]

Omg the aunt is a saint 😭

[@jeanjohnson8492]

Story 2: While I am glad everything worked out for OP taking her dog on the trip, I think her husband was the asshole. I would be hesitant to have children with him. God forbid a baby or child doesn't act as he wants. Small dogs are not known for being friendly with other dogs. Did all of the small dogs know and socialize with the other dogs and people prior to the trip? OP's dog has undergone lots of training and most likely that included socialization, which teaches them acceptable dog behavior towards other dogs.

[@LunaMane]

Did Story #1 end perfectly? Not in a fairytale way no, but given the less than ideal alternatives that could have been chosen it's as perfect as it can get. I'm glad OP and their siblings are in a better place. Hopefully they'll have real stability. As for the parents - the mother needs to invest in contraceptives for sure. She's obviously trying to fill some kind of void with children. Which is like getting a pet for a toy and you should never do it. With the dad since he went no contact first I'll bet he's just hit every dive bar around until some cheap whiskey does him in. Oh well.

[@PrincessQ-fj9ly]

If that does happen, then I say good riddance. I would NEVER wish death or ill health on someone else, I think the family would be better off without him.

[@krattgirl124samarama4]

A couple of years ago, my family brought our two dogs (a golden lab and a schnauzer) to a family cabin with another schnauzer and a weener dog, our lab was absolutely fine as she got to run around in the nearby field and let all her energy out. Big puppies do need that experience to be better trained

[@melonman6522]

Realistically speaking, story 1 ended the best way it could have. There was no way things were going to turn around all of a sudden so both of the parents were now responsible good parents, they magically could make up with OP and they all hold hands and skip into the sunset. Getting all of the kids out of that home into the stable care of a willing ADULT was the best option. Not a happy ending but the best result possible for the scenario.

[@faeb.9618]

frankly while not the happiest i still think it is a happy ending when the alternative mightve been these kids stuck in such a toxic and miserable household growing up like that. with the father straight up stopping all contact i fear what he wouldve done had the kids stayed in their care. at least now they get a chance to grow up in a home where they're actually wanted and can be better adjusted and get their needs met

[@PrincessQ-fj9ly]

I agree with you. This divorce was a long time coming and quite frankly, it should've happened YEARS ago. It's clear as day to me that this is a very broken home.

[@dianeessex300]

Mark, never let anyone give you grief for looking for positives. It allows us to have hope, and sometimes, hope is all we have.

[@lisakaz35]

I'm glad the dog thing worked out. I saw the right of the other guests to not be put out but my first instinct was that their dog people, too. Intros beforehand could make it a good trip. The only thing that got me was OP trying to compel her hubby to share duties with the dog when she was pushing for doggo to go. If she's the one pushing for it, she should be taking the lion share of the duties. At least it worked out.

[@TheHellsHobbit]

#2 NTA, I raised Shepard and this is good training, but with 3 smaller dogs you need to keep a tight rein on the puppy

[@fcold9402]

2. Everyone else is bringing their dogs and your dog is bot aggressive. Why wouldn't you take the dog? NTA. Edit so everyone else gets to bring their dogs and their not aholes, but OP is ahole? Got it. Just skip the trip and stay home with your dog.

[@justinecorrington4106]

Its more there is a big difference between small dog and big dogs. And op was being judged YTA simply as the partner didn’t want the dog along, didn’t want his vacation to be about dog. And op not only was insisting on bringing the dog but was insisting husband needed to share responsibility for said dog; after he said no, lets not bring our untrained puppy. That said I am a dog lover and totally get why op wanted to bring her dog and glad it worked out. But vacation at least for me is all about being lazy and not having to put in ton of effort

[@Tanjaaraus]

@@justinecorrington4106 if he didn't want the responsibility, he should't have gotten a fucking dog then! If he didn't want to deal with the puppy stage, there are plenty of docile and nice older dogs in the shelter. There was also multiple other puppies on the same trip, but that is inconvenient so let's just ignore that? If they wanted a lazy vacation then either bring the dog and not other people - or no dogs at all. Excluding one dog, just cause you are lazy makes you an asshole and shitty pet parent. (Aimed at the husband, not you). The puppy was obviously not untrained - it littereally says she had been through multiple classes with it. Also of course the husband should share responsibility for the dog! Why tf is it ok for him to leave the dog at home as some annoyance when it's inconvenient, and then take all the praise when the doggo behaves nicely? Why should she be the only one responsible when it's stressfull - but also have to share the praise when it's good? Nobody needs a fairweather partner, and that is what OP's husban sounds like.

[@justinecorrington4106]

@@Tanjaaraus the update made the husband a hypocrite and a reason for op to ignore her husband’s opinion. I am a dog lover; but bigger puppies are nuisance. Love them, but they tear up toilet paper, shoes, trash, etc. but if they did say hey we want a dog to travel with us; well honestly smaller dogs are better; but they wanted a big dog so… being inconvenienced is well the cost. But honestly I am wondering how much the husband agreed, only with how op words things. And the agreement was only after being argued to death

[@cjandauntieyaya1446]

My puppo is also a 1 yr old GSD and I would never think about taking him on a trip because he's a terror. The only person he minds is me because I will tell him no and make him obey. My family just weakly protests and he walks all over them. He's big, so that's almost literal. I'll be looking into a professional training course where my bro will take him in so Bro can be trained as well, LOL. GSD's are only as behaved as their training and if those who take care of them are strong willed.

[@Norienful]

That aunt is an absolute saint

[@casfletcher4076]

Wow what an incredible mother, lasting two whole weeks with her own children.

[@g.g7021]

Op's mom says she is not fit to be a mom, but she is ok being a baby factory. Niiice.

[@terrellc.stephens4942]

Having another child when you don't take care of the other 5 that you have is not going to fix anything .

[@meezerluvr]

Story 1: I'm hoping Auntie plans to hit up Mom and Dad for child support. Getting off scott free doesn't seem right.

[@PrincessQ-fj9ly]

Auntie and Mom might be able to work something out in terms of child support. As for Dad, I think Auntie should just go to the police and report him for child abuse and child abandonment.

[@angie3609]

The moment OP said they were 17 and already took care of their younger siblings, it was an immediate NTA verdict for me. PARENTIFICATION 👏IS👏 ABUSE👏

[@susanlosey9511]

This is an excellent outcome. CPS did not get involved. The children are in a loving stable relationship. OP, you did everything right!

[@AliceinOverwatch]

Dog story: despite all the comments I didn’t think the OP was TA, they could have asked the other people if they’d be comfortable with it but that trip being the entire point of having a dog, to me, made the OP NTA. The partner acting like a petulant child about it beforehand “I won’t take care of it” was a shitty move

[@fcold9402]

1. It is absolutely not the duty of a child to take care of their siblings. It is the parents duty to take care of all of their children. Their eldest is not their slave babysitter.

[@carmenbarrera80]

As a single mom and with only one income I was able to pay for babysitting either a babysitter or my mom or sister but I always payed, so my girls can go to school and have their own life's they see their little brother like a brother NOT a child

[@totallyjaded1658]

1st story, best outcome for those kids IMO, 2nd story who arranges a holiday with dogs but expects one family to leave theirs at home unless it’s an aggressive, unsocialised dog? I’m glad it work out so well

[@riakun]

Story 1: it’s a crappy situation, but it’s also, I think, one of the best realistic outcomes you could have in that situation. OP is safe with someone who loves and wants them (not to mention, gives them the opportunity to have a life), and so are the other kids. Their aunt is amazing. She didn’t have to step up, but she did for everyone. What a wonderful person. And I’m glad OP and the siblings can all be heppy now, and that everyone is getting the therapy that they need. Story 2. I’m glad everything worked out. OP’s pup sounds/looks like a total sweetie. I needed something wholesome to start my day ❤️

[@tamsel814]

Story 2: I really don't understand all the YTA comment. There are already 3 dogs (2 of which fellow puppies) going on this trip. So the only real difference would be the size of the dog. Either all pups should be allowed to come or none at all.

[@LauraCNeko1]

It’s so great the aunt came to the rescue really, for all their sakes

[@tracybarber-kier1669]

1. True, things are chaotic right now, but the changes were necessary. Now things can actually start getting better for everyone. BTW, Auntie is a rock star! 2. Cute dog! Glad things worked out.

[@lisawhereisthecultjam]

I think the 17 year old OP that is now with her Aunt along with her other siblings is in a much more positive situation. So are the others TBH.

[@DeathDefyingPuddle]

Don’t let anyone dim your shine Mark! Im glad you can always find a silver lining

[@jessamynroguski9649]

Im honestly proud of the mom for trying her best then ultimately realizing she wasnt capable of being what they needed It takes a lot to admit something like that to yourself not to mention others I hope things get better for all of them

[@PrincessQ-fj9ly]

Me too. I'm still side eyeing her somewhat, but at least she admitted she wasn't cut out to be a mother and she's got a lot and I mean A LOT of work to do if she wants to fix her marriage with OP. Dad on the other hand, I'm pretty sure that he's a lost cause at this point. I honestly wouldn't be surprised if having children and babies was all his idea.

[@o0BlackSand0o]

It sucks that the aunt who is clearly a great mum suffered the pain of not being able to carry but these people who should never have been parents had 5

[@PrincessQ-fj9ly]

I know right? I hate how cruel the world is sometimes. How people who would be wonderful and loving parents have trouble with having children and babies or can't conceive and then there's deadbeat parents pumping out dozens of kids when they shouldn't have even had one.

[@haroldvazquez]

Huh! The daughter is more of an adult than the parents combine.

[@MsTemptation]

That's a beautiful shepherd. She probably blended in with the snow.

[@TsukiKageTora]

I would have rubbed it in my husband’s face “and you wanted her home and not have fun out here”. He would never hear the end of that one from me. Ever.

[@AliceinOverwatch]

First story: the first round of advice that OP received, I really wish someone had told them that it’s okay to leave. They may push it onto your brother but you also need to protect yourself. The younger sibling may resent or even hate you at first but when they grow up, they will understand you did what was best for you. Keep and open line of communication with the younger siblings and tell them as soon as you are legally able to, you want to help them get out too. Show them, be the example that you don’t have to take their abuse

[@maemae527]

I love how you find the positives in stories, sometimes it’s hard when stories like #1 to see the light, but you do it and it’s great ☺️

[@jazzywarrrior1414]

I don’t know what idiot told you to not see the positives in the negatives, but I applaud you for it. I have depression and often think negatively even in situations that aren’t that bad, and you have helped me change the mindset a little bit. I still have a long way to go, but your positivity always brings a smile to my face.

[@NoMoreHeroesAnymore1334]

"Considered abuse." Right. That plus a call to CPS will get your abuser a week or two of warning to make you clean everything and recite your lines perfectly. Then what little was left in your life that gave you comfort will be ripped from you after CPS leaves when finding "no evidence of abuse" and you're trapped alone with the one you/someone tattled on. The whole system is narcs all the way down.

[@TwiggyHetfield27]

Story 1: Do I even need to say it?? Parentification. OPs grandma is an idiot "she says I should be supportive of my parents trying to fix their marriage." A baby is NOT a bandaid!! They have 4/5 kids, barely take care of them & think another will MaGiCaLlY fix everything that's wrong in their marriage?? Yeaaaaa.... no. After Update: Mom shows up & says she can't do it & I'm just thinking..."WHY did you keep having kids!?!?" She says she not cut out to be a mom yet, won't let the aunt fully care for these kids??? She wants to be a mom "in name only"

[@NovaTheAngel]

I can't believe the comments on the second story! OP is so NOT the AH! The puppy is 1 year old now and have already had some basic training and all the "issues" are on the excess energy it has. So exercise it! Tire it out before meeting the new dogs and people. That's all it takes. I had a German shepherd before and yeah you have to keep an eye on your dog but you have the responsibility to do that anyway, no matter the age!

[@NCAnon]

Story 1) I'm still reading the edit: OP needs to call CPS regardless. Don't just use it as a threat, DO IT. The sooner, the better. There people should not be allowed to have children, let alone be called parents. What kind of logic does it take to think having a child will save a relationship? Have they they never heard of couples counseling?

[@wisygirlywopitty770]

Story 1 : i find it VERY funny that OP managed to take care longer for her siblings WHILE BEING A CHILD than her mom BEING AN ADULT.

[@WiseWordsbyWiki]

Last story: I don't get all the YTAs cause a) all the concerns of bring a dog are negated by the other dogs so the only issue is that the dog is big, which is making a lot of fear based assumptions and ignoring the dog is trained. If this dog is suppose to be a travel companion then the need experience and the husband needs to stop worring about if it doesn't work cause you have to try to see.

[@eileenhathaway1674]

First story. I hope she gets to tell her parents sometime about how they couldn't last a month doing what they FORCED her to do for YEARS...as a child herself. What gigantic assholes!

[@harrywillis3934]

17:27 Don’t listen to that person. They refer to the dog as male when it was distinctly written as female more than once for them to have missed it. Obviously, they didn’t pay enough attention to the story.

[@Tuxedo_Trouble]

Your right mark, sometimes you have to look at the positives in a negative situation. in this case the positive is that the mom realized she wasn't fit and gave up the kids to someone who could give them the life they deserve

[@madisonl3401]

Thank you for blessing us with so many videos! We are truly spoiled!

[@MarkNarrations]

Thanks you for blessing me with your presence, I wouldn't be here without you good folks 😁❤

[@angeliqueillstopprocrastin479]

The one with the story about the dog and the trip-the husband says(after getting the dog for things like this with him) you will have to do all dog things. Keep the dog, get rid of the husband but seriously, glad it worked out.

[@zachf748]

I feel like 90% of the stories on AITA are stories where it would be absolutely impossible for them to _ever_ be the a-hole.

[@clairebear-96]

Mark who tf is out here getting mad at u for finding a positive in a negative situation? it’s called a silver lining ahaha I always look for positives! You can’t just focus on all the negative!

[@pa-pa-plasma]

I think in situations like story 1, you can't think of "how can we make every single person 100% satisfied & happy" & more think of "what's the best case scenario". Not everyone in here can be 100% happy with the situation. they never can with stuff like this. There needs to be sacrifices. OP is happy knowing their siblings are safe & cared for, they can be a teenager, and the parents no longer have custody & are divorcing & in therapy. I think that's the best you're gonna get with this one OP is NTA. parents are.

[@MmmKayHuuNay]

They have to leave and call CPS, asap!!! OR NOW!!!

[@clairebear-96]

Omg that dog at the end is beautiful!! At the beginning it said German shepherd so I was picturing the classic brown and black, then saw the white puppy and gasped omg she’s gorgeous

[@mariabarker2036]

Story 1.... I'd be calling CPS in on my parents, explaining the abuse that's been her lot and will soon be heaped on her 10 yo brother.

[@wearegonnatalkaboutbruno6694]

Story2: Just remind me of my dog she is so playful and is gentle with other dog small or big

[@XionSteel]

story 2 is kind of a good example of something that could have been annoying to deal with but ended up being good for everyone involved, basically you never know how something can go so you speculate the worst case scenarios, but actually trying it out turned out better then expected.