Paris Paloma - labour [Official Video] Reaction

[@MaFranu]

It still happens, with many wanting a "traditional wife" who does everything in the house, has babies but at the same time she's not a "gold digger" and works on top of taking care of husband and kids. The labour is excruciating, and expectations are higher and higher, so this song reminds many women that in fact it is not an act of love if someone MAKES you do all of it. Feminism is about choice. You have to have the power to choose if you want to stay at home or go to work, if you want babies or not. Amazing portrayal of society and how even though we think we are advanced, some things seem to remain the same.

[@valentijnrozeveld3773]

Men works jobs - woman works the household, this is the traditional way. A traditional men doesn't want his wife to work a job.

[@notyourmanicpixie]

"baby machine" generally means popping out kids back to back. so popping out kids so he can live out his "picket fence dreams"

[@MarkMcAllister-ni9sf]

lols, what a bunch of horse poo

[@maerynboirionnach9869]

Not to mention, it's a common tactic for abusers to coerce/force their partners to have multiple children. The more kids you have, the harder it is to get away.

[@16poetisa]

"If we had a daughter, I'd watch and could not save her" always kills me

[@Giulia-om2gl]

That part is genuinely so fucking heartbreaking

[@valkyrie1066]

I did exactly that. Took my daughter and fled. She lists exactly why. Two jobs, all the cleaning, cooking, shopping, repair, childcare......He is still there saying "I don't know WHY she just....abandoned me....everything was fine." (i.e; everything was the way he wanted it and had NO INTENTION of changing it) Listen up, girls. He says he has "no idea" why his wife left. He was not emotionally connected enough to reality to have any idea. Everything was "fine". YES I will speak to your ex wife briefly before dating you. Girls gotta look out for each other.

[@ajlee2168]

beautifully said!

[@haleypeeler8454]

That is wonderful that you got out. The strength to leave, especially with your child, is staggering.

[@eltzuchan]

it breaks my heart everytime i listen when the last part plays again but with a choir of young girls behind it, showing how women are set to this life since childhood

[@MarkMcAllister-ni9sf]

give me a break...Western Women are the most spoiled Humans in history, yet they have been brainwashed into thinking they are victims....pathetic.

[@ZombieBrainze]

Something I've never seen anyone mention is the fact that she doesn't even eat until he permits her to. The chicken is facing only him, he eats first, he eats everything, and she's left to feed off the scraps. She does all of the work, and he reaps the benefits. She prepared the entire meal, and yet she's not even allowed to eat it until he's done. And even then, she eats fruit. The man ate an entire chicken, meat, bread, potatoes, she got fruit. Just fruit.

[@16poetisa]

I don't think he's even allowing her to. I think she stood up to bring him a new plate, then changed her mind and decided to eat out of turn. And a pomegranate, at that. Very symbolic fruit.

[@motorcitymangababe]

And he was horrified by the idea of a woman consuming. It's a viscerally powerful moment.

[@jaimicottrill2831]

@@16poetisa Yes, that's why he taps the cup as a signal to bring him a clean plate so he can continue eating. That's why she decides to say F'''''it and starts eating anyway.

[@annadreamsart9756]

And she TOOK the pomegranate, a symbol of womanhood. It looked like she wasn't supposed to. I did see one channel break down the meaning of all the details. It was really good.

[@eldritchcupcakes3195]

he also signals that dinner is over before she eats with the tap on the glass

[@Aasheeee]

“So that he never lifts a finger” also could implicate both never having to fend for himself because she does all the labour. But also so that he could never “lift” a finger to hurt her if she ever disobeyed

[@ifeelnakey]

I’ve watched multiple men react to this song and it’s fascinating how they (mis)interpret some of things that most women understand so easily. “Baby machine” “Not an act of love if you make her” So interesting

[@AmonicCrow]

Seriously, his interpretation is still actually very good though and is still correct for how it is for some women and how they’re expected to tend to their husbands but it is unfortunate the very obvious lines have the darker meanings so easily go over the heads of men since they don’t have to think about that. They don’t have to worry about having to provide kids and being pressured into having them, about being pressured into having to give in to your husbands and give them what they want no matter your mood. How you have to make excuses about being physically unwell to get out of sex, and even then that doesn’t always work. Because Men aren’t societally pressured into that nearly as much as women.

[@tinydarkjewel]

The 24/7 baby machine, is probably alluded to how much she need to stand by to...please him... A baby machine MAKES babies...

[@valkyrie1066]

You "give it to him" when he "asks". There was some rule....had nothing to do with whether you were in the MOOD or not. He hardly seemed to care. After, all, it had nothing to do with HER pleasure at all.....

[@tinydarkjewel]

@@valkyrie1066 Of course not. "Obey your husband". I don't get the trad wives...but I guess they don't expect their husbands to turn on them...

[@rimesfan11]

As someone who doesn’t suffer this lifestyle, I can still relate. The line “nymph then a virgin”. I feel like most women have experienced this. We get called a sl*t for sleeping with someone and for NOT sleeping with someone. We get pressured into sleeping with someone under threats of them leaving, and then told we are loose and not marriage material. It’s just such a sad experience.

[@horsegirltoyou4339]

This song is chock full of double and triple meanings starting with the title. Labor refers to both hard physical work (tending the orcherds, fetching the water ect.) But it also refers to childbirth, remember "it's not an act of love if you make her." The island is on the album cover if you want a visual representation of where the characters in this song are living and Paris talks about it in interviews but it's also a metaphor for being trapped and isolated. The rope is also on the album cover it is hanging over the edge of a cliff and there is a boat at the bottom of the cliff but without that context it could also reffer to hanging (ending ones own life) which can feel like the only way out for people in abusive relationships. Capillaries are tiny veins which can rupture due to stress, physical exertion or labor. And yes, even that unusual interpretation of baby machine. as several other people have pointed out, the phrase "baby machine" typically refers to having baby after baby after baby, but the interpretation of having to constantly monitor and care for her husband is also accurate. If anyone has noticed any other double meanings please comment them, i always enjoyed multiple meanings.

[@mcanta2898]

"so that he never lifts a finger" can mean that he does none of the work, or that he does not become violent

[@horsegirltoyou4339]

@@mcanta2898 thank you!

[@FreyaMeows]

@@mcanta2898 or that he doesn’t lift a finger to blame her for something

[@horsegirltoyou4339]

@@FreyaMeows I missed your comment. Thank you for adding!

[@motorcitymangababe]

"lapping from flowing cup and jab ing with your fork" can mean mindlessly consuming her labor (she made the food, serves it, and cleans it) but it also reminds me of toxic relationships in that the first half reminds me of the way some people siphon off their partner's positive energy, and the second half makes me think of verbal jabs- when an abusive partner constantly digs at the others self esteem to either break them down or set them off- like sticking a fork in a turkey.

[@annadreamsart9756]

Also, remember that women in the US weren't even allowed to have their own checking account until 1974. Leaving was risky. This song alludes to being expected to stay and go along, and her deciding to leave is risky too. But thinking you're going to have a more equal relationship then finding out you can work the exact same job and hours as your husband, and STILL be expected to do all the housework, cooking, childcare (yeah, that was me) is exhausting.

[@NancyHeath-d8n]

Also the most dangerous time for a woman is when leaving a relationship. Femicide is an often ignored issue

[@annadreamsart9756]

@@NancyHeath-d8n Yes. You're right.

[@kimberlytt9454]

“It’s not an act of love if you make her” 👏👏👏

[@hanniefaerie]

8:40 it’s basically saying that certain men expect the women that they’re with to just give birth back to back just for the sake of it and not taking the wife into consideration. Basically treating women as baby making machines with no other value.

[@besping]

She was already trying to escape from being worked by her parents! She says that he was supposed to be her savior, and it looks like she went out of the frying pan and into the fire.

[@Tahlia290]

Hit the nail on the head with her doing all the physical and emotional labour!! Great reaction!

[@motorcitymangababe]

It really does feel like Paris Paloma was haunted by multiple generations of women from tough situations and created a perfect distillation of what women go through. This song would be just as relevant in the Great depression, pioneer era, and back. And its great musically!

[@BathoryBat]

Sorry in advanced, but this is gonna be a really long comment. And I'm not talking about every person in the world in these following scenarios, but they're not unheard of. These are the types of scenarios Paris Paloma is talking about, and I do think you caught most of the meaning there. there are 168 hours in a week. and in the families with stay at home mothers, those mothers are on the job all 168 hours. and their husbands, even if they're doing a lot of overtime, they're working 60-80 hours a week. And having a wife at home is what enables the dad to go and work all that overtime, because he's not paying a maid. He's not paying for childcare. He's not paying for a personal chef. And yet he still has all those things taken care of. So when he works 80 hours a week, and comes home and says "I just worked all day, let me relax," She's also been working all day. And then he complains about work and she has to listen and if she tries to complain about her headache because the five year old wouldn't take a nap and the toddler is sick and crying all day, and her feet and back are sore and she's nauseated because she's pregnant, it gets dismissed because she doesn't have a "real job." And then he kicks off his nasty socks and shoes on the living room floor, eats the dinner she made, leaves his dirty plate for her, goes to take a shower and leaves his dirty clothes on the bathroom floor so she has to literally follow him around cleaning up after him the same way she does for their kids all day, and then he still wants her to sleep with him at the end of the day. And at two AM when their kid comes knocking at their bedroom door because they had a nightmare and wet the bed, that man will say "I have work in the morning, you deal with it." When she leaves he'll call her a leech and a gold digger for taking half of his assets when she didn't do the work for them(in his opinion). When daycare for 1 child is $150-200 a week ($15,600-$20,800 per year for 2 kids), weekly cleaning services are $80-$250 a week ($4,160-$12,500 a year), a personal chef can cost $150-$400 per service day ($7,800-$20,800 annual assuming weekly service where they're prepping meals for the week, and 20k-151k if you employ a dedicated personal chef) plus groceries. So she's saving him $27,560-$54,100 or more per year, and he sees that as absolutely nothing. It is worthless to him. In a lot of families where both parents work, say they're both working 40-60 hours a week, who's doing all the work when they get home? do they split the work at home or is one person doing more of the day to day? There are a lot of families out there where both parents are working full time jobs and the mothers are still having to do all the child care, all the laundry, all the cleaning, and then the dad mows the lawn every other week. If she tries to ask him to make a meal or do the laundry, the dishes, clean the living room, does he do it? Or does he say "but you do it so much better, honey" "I don't know how to do it" "I don't know where you keep the supplies" Like, dude, it doesn't take a rocket scientist to make boxed mac and cheese. You don't need a chemistry degree to use soap and water. Grown men claiming they don't have basic skills every adult should have is called weaponized incompetence. Men who use this tactic will purposefully do bad jobs at household tasks so that their wives will never ask them to do it again.

[@miniangecornu]

Always interesting looking at men trying to analyze this song.

[@VictoriaFinley-p4u]

Also isolation is one of the first steps in an abusive relationship

[@Icelandchan]

I think this song is about the everyday life of most women around the globe: they have to do everything around the house, give birth and have to deal with so many expectations. They carry most of the emotional baggage, too. Just as mentions in the last part that she is a maid, nurse, therapist and so on. In so many cases, they will never hear a thank you, they might even be mistreated. When a man does things around the house, he "helps". When he spends time with his own children, he "babysits". And yeah, girls are raised in the exact same way: you give them baby dolls so they can train being a mommy, you tell them they have to look nice, and they have to do chores around the house. While it is more and more normalized that men do their fair share around the house and be an actual father to their kids, many still have these antiquated gender norms in their mind. A father spending an evening with his friends? Yeah! Time for him! Great! A mother spending an evening with her friends? What a bad mother! How can she leave her children alone (or even worse! With their dad?! - yeah actually heard something like this)

[@libertytraynor4346]

The song is quite simply about how women do too much labour in heterosexual relationships, and how men use weaponised incompetence as a form to keep a woman in their place. This happens STILL and it’s small and easy to go unnoticed until it’s too late. Men being praised for things like doing the dishes, looking after their own children whilst for women it’s just expected. It’s about the patriarchy and is still very very relevant today

[@PottyMouth66634]

24/7 baby machine = we have to have all these babies. We don't get a choice anymore even if it's to save our own life. We're just baby machines and servants. I don't want that for my daughter. I won't always be here to fight for her. Vote BLUE. 💙

[@autumnlinsinbigler9385]

LOVED how quickly you picked up on everything! Its really refreshing and worth a subscribe. If you want to dive into a couple similar songs, you should watch "Same old Energy" and "Burn Your Village" by KiKi Rockwell. I would recommend you watch them in that order because the videos are linked, even if the songs don't have that specific of a link, the videos do.

[@eldritchcupcakes3195]

the "it's not an act of love if you make her" refers to rape. marital rape was legal for a long, long time.

[@CaitReynolds]

💯

[@ajjohnson6732]

Has anyone notice the reference to the story of Hades and Persephone? At the end of the music video, she's eats pomegranate which references of when Persephone eats anything at hades table, she is doomed to live with him in the underworld for eternity.

[@AmonicCrow]

Fun fact, she doesn’t stay in the underworld for eternity, she leaves during the spring and or summer months- the transition to fall and winter is because Demeter gets depressed about not being able to see her daughter so the weather gets colder and harsher- another fun fact, Hades is actually a great person, especially by Greek god/men standards and treated her very well- it’s unfortunate that Zeus just- gave Persephone away to be married to Hades without Demeter’s knowledge and permission but Hades is still a great guy??? It’s terrible she didn’t have a choice cuz she was a woman but at least he isn’t possessive and super controlling and lets her leave and is a great husband to her and that was as good as it was gonna get in Greek times😭 I do greatly appreciate the Persephone reference with the pomegranates though since they symbolize femininity and I love it but as a Greek mythos nerd I felt the need to clarify and defend my favorite god Hades for being the best guy there lol

[@Laura-gd4ku]

The song is about living under patriarchy as a women, it’s a universal story not her specific story it’s every womens reality

[@DietCitrusGreenTea-qs8df]

I think what I like about this song is that it's very layered in what it could be alluding to, including the level of severity that you could interpret from the situation. I really loved a lot of the observations you came up with here, and it's interesting to see how people hear the song at first blush. for my part... in the first section of the song, when she's talking about a carefully planned escape from the "island" of their relationship, but he's still holding the rope, it feels like maybe she's had a long standing intention of leaving, but he has the ability to tether her just enough. that "tether" could be anything really... financial dependence on his income, anxiety over how their separation will go over with friends and family, worry over destabilizing the household of any children they may already have... it could be anything. but whatever it is, there's just enough of it to keep her there, especially if his sharp words are used to emphasize the point. but even as he uses his words as a tactic to intimidate her, it also causes her bitterness to grow. once again, the severity could be mild or severe... either could still apply to the song. it could be just him nitpicking flaws out of everything she tries to do for him, or it could be full-on verbal abuse, or even threats of physical abuse. intimidation tactics may be all he needs, or at least, that's the impression I get... but clearly harm is not off the table. in this light, the chorus almost sounds like her trying to argue the case that leaving is a good idea, whether to him, or to herself. if we take the beginnings and endings of each verse together, it sounds even more like it: "the capillaries in my eyes are bursting, the calloused skin on my hands is cracking" "if our love died, would that be the worst thing? if our love ends, would that be a bad thing?" "I thought you were my savior... silence haunts our bedchamber." "you make me do too much labor." they're reasons... but he probably always has an excuse. "apologies for _my_ tongue, but never _yours._ busy lapping from flowing cup, and stabbing with your fork." basically, he can say whatever he wants, but she can never get away with the same. plus there's subtle violence implied in the use of the word "stabbing," even as he takes the meal that she put in front of him. throughout the course of the video, she hasn't yet eaten a thing. "I know you're a smart man, and you weaponize, your false incompetence is dominance under a guise." this one's loaded. this could be something benign, like pretending he just doesn't know how to cook, or clean, or do laundry, he always forgets, she's better at it anyway, so it's not worth it to try and teach him how to do it, etc. just so she'll take on more work... and eventually all those tasks build up and amount to her being treated like a servant. combine that with his observed critical nature toward everything she does, and the implicit threats that she might trigger if she ever complains back, and yeah... this is a manipulation tactic. feigned helplessness is a method of controlling someone. and then there's all the lines about if they had a daughter. the idea that this woman would watch it happen to her daughter, and couldn't save her from it, is actually chilling. it implies how impossible it is for her to consider resisting his behavior if she's still in this environment. that kind of thing is textbook for emotional abusers... there's a cycle to it. they go through a sweet phase to convince the victim that maybe they could make this work, then they start criticizing the victim, making it feel like the disappearance of the sweet phase is the victim's fault, and maybe they could get it back if they try a little harder, and do everything their abuser says, meanwhile the abuser lapses further and further into their abusive tendencies, until there's a blowup big enough to really rattle their victim, after which they enter an apologetic sweet phase, convince their victim to stay, and that they'll try harder, and change, and things will be different this time, only for the cycle to repeat again. if someone is trapped in this pattern with a person, leaving is the only option. any attempt to rehabilitate the relationship will just amount to the victim being sucked back in during the sweet phase, and regretting it later, all over again. the victim is kept via guilt tactics. they're blamed for causing the abuse... for deserving it. maybe if they weren't so [insert criticism here] then this wouldn't be happening to them. in a situation like that, having a child to care for only makes it harder to leave. and if he treats the kid similarly to her mother, then the cycle will trap them both. I really appreciated you mentioning the generational element of not just the woman and her daughter, but whatever this woman was told to expect when she was a child as well, going back generations. I also feel like there's an element of traditionalism at play as well, where traditionally the man is supposed to go out and work, and the woman is supposed to support him by staying home, and cooking, and cleaning, and raising babies, and handling the domestic tasks. the flaw with that division of responsibilities is that the man gets to stroke his pride with his accomplishments. he has the opportunity to attain prestige with whatever lofty pursuit he's got his eye on. meanwhile, the work that women have done in the background throughout history has enabled those pursuits, often times without any kind of pay or direct compensation. these are all fundamentals of life that he's never had to worry about, because she's taken care of it. her job is thankless, without spotlight, without prestige, without notability... history will not remember her name for this. it's not just work... it's labor. "all day, every day, therapist, mother, maid, nymph then a virgin, nurse then a servant, just an appendage, live to attend him, so that he never lifts a finger." I'd seen someone else point out once, that "he never lifts a finger" could mean either " I do this so he won't have to do any of the work." or it could also mean "I do this so he won't have a reason to raise a hand against me." it could be equal parts angrily frustrated at him, and fearfully placating toward him. "it's not an act of love if you make her."

[@s1rensrnotamyth]

This is a song about being a woman, and the way society expects us to be. We are told basically from birth, you are to be a wife, a mother. A vigin...ect.

[@ruthottender2789]

It´s not an act of love if you make her!

[@camiocain5075]

every. man. alive. should. be. forced. to. watch. and. understand. this. video. and. SONG.! ASAP

[@yazulinkabrrrrrrrr]

Oh honey. It isn't js about the relationship. It's about women in general. It's about womanhood. Not js her relationship.

[@takke9830]

A big part of this song is really more symbolic for the suffering women were facing for so long as domestic slaves. And I think the personal part of it is this frustration that even with our freedom, so many of us still become trapped by this aweful system to this day. You are socially expected role wise for domestic servitude of a man as a young girl and I think especially the part she talks about her hypothetical daughter is noting how she struggles with the idea of having a daughter being forced into the same situation if not by her then by the system and it's indoctrination of what a woman is and should be. Not to mention as well being so attracted to men while all of the experiences that she had with them were causing her this terrible pain. Like a dog that loves to have a human be their companion but keeps having every single human abuse them instead of loving them back. Especially the part with the kids joining the chorus too seems particularily important since women were back in the day considered stuck in perpetual childhood and often equated to be as intelligent as children to justify the lack of freedom women were forced into. Not to mention also the implication of girl after girl being set up for the same fate over and over. Making children sing is so powerful cause it shows the innate cruelty of such a forced subordination of all female human beings. Of forcing every individual female child in this song into the same slavery that degrades, torments and destroys them over time. But that is not a fantasy that has been our reality for most of our known history. Wich is what makes it so incredibly emotionally taxxing to listen to. I think the song couldn't be more relevant especially now where women's rights are also being attacked again by the laws. The song is essentially saying "I am tired of expecting love and getting nothing but torture. and that is a feeling so many women experience even now. because of what the patriarchy has done to men and women. making them hurt each other over and over under the guise of "love".

[@heavenstarkey9518]

Unfortunately this is the reality of a whole lot of women in the USA

[@gemini2119]

Reality of women all over the world*

[@shadowfoxx5317]

​@@gemini2119Thank you

[@HinataUchihaInuzuka9]

@@gemini2119particularly (although not exclusively) in the global south.

[@shannongordon7635]

It’s historical, generational and global; women tend to go through it and she says to suffer at the head of his high table knowing that if she was to bring a child that whether it’s him to dismiss/abuse or hurt her it would be another of his gender. but just think for example Henry the 8th and all his wives and how they lived. Divorced, beheaded, died, divorced, beheaded and one survived

[@angelking1689]

This is still happening. There are more of these men out there than anyone cares to acknowledge.

[@christinasalame8537]

The fact that her candle was lit from the start but his candle was never lit in the video shows how she was the one being drained while he was doing nothing and at the end her candle was put out and she was gone , that shows that she had enough of him and decided to leave so she could take care of herself , wow I really love this song

[@1318-i1g]

Я живу в такой семье . Я такая жена как в этой песне … и множество женщин в моей стране …

[@Dustyn316]

She sets the table with food that she's prepared and brought to him and there is nothing on her plate at all while she sits and watches him eat.

[@OpalLeigh-il8yj]

Damn I’ve been listening to this song since it came out and this guy came up with some interpretations I hadn’t thought of yet 👏🏻 perfect reaction. Adds something to the original:)

[@amberhoward7807]

The main theme of the song is, "It's not an act of love if you make her." I think many women are ready to speak up about how we feel about always expected to be the mother who does it all. Men do a lot, but I think women should be allowed to have their moment to also be understood.

[@JB-ub4wy]

You were on point. Lots of hidden and double meanings but accurate about lots of relationships still

[@martina-dd6vb]

This is the best reaction to this song that I've seen 🙌

[@CustomBeadedCreations]

I have learned to ALWAYS talk to the exes, and I hope other girls reach out to me about guys. If I can help them avoid hell and heartbreak, trust and believe, I am going to

[@Catdoingkittystuff]

I've never seen anyone point out the candle. She lights it up once she sits down, but his is never lighted up. The way I see it, she's giving him a deadline, while he has the mindset that she's always going to be there, that she's always gonna stay despite whatever he does or doesn't do. In the end, her candle is already melted away, and the fire is no longer there, and from the way he pauses when seeing her gone, it probably means he's surprised. He expected her to stay, like he expected her to do all those things for her.

[@B.WaRnEd2124]

@Terell really enjoyed how much you pay attention to the lyrics & go in depth with your insights. I see some Linkin Park & such reactions on your channel. If you're into metal with rap, you should go on a wild ride & listen to some "Indian folk metal". The band Bloodywood (word play on Bollywood/Hollywood 😄) is amazing!! You haven't heard anything like it, yet it's familiar enough to hit home. Check out their song "Jee Veerey" first. I truly think you'll appreciate the lyrics. The message after the song is totally wholesome & will give you a sense of who the band is. Bet you fall in love 😉😄

[@elenadijk3004]

I think your gonna like the song don't cry for your daughters from lydia the bard so could you maybe react to that?

[@notmyproblem2896]

You should react to burn your village by kiki rockwell. It's a really good song

[@katesmith-thompson5500]

This is one of the better reactions to this song but there's still just SO MUCH that the men who are reacting are missing. They really don't teach y'all about girls in school, do they?

[@Elizabeth912-v6o]

Come back to this song in 10 years. Please bro. And don't be embarrassed to repost.

[@Miss_Renae_Author]

"It's not an act of love if you make her." married doesn't mean yes

[@PerryPictures]

I don’t think you’re reaching with that last point. It’s an incomplete sentence for a reason… I think you were spot on

[@samikins720]

I feel like you missed the point to this song and video. This is all about women’s rights, not her individual story.

[@Elizabeth912-v6o]

@8:59 again ur not as smart as u think u are bro!!! 😂 but atleast ur trying to see something. Thats sweet. This song is made for mostly housewives!!!!! Especially in places where women don't legal rights And the best thing they could look forward to in life is being a widow!!!!!!!

[@Elizabeth912-v6o]

@5:14 at no point in this song dose she ever say the man wasn't working.!!!!

[@1318-i1g]

Я живу в такой семье . Я такая жена как в этой песне … и множество женщин в моей стране …