PART 2 THE SECRET LIFE OF BECOMING A MILITARY SPOUSE || WHAT I WISH I KNEW & ASSUMPTIONS

[@kayti6551]

As a new military spouse I really appreciate your videos. There's a lot of ain't shit wives so seeing another genuine wife makes me feel better tbh. We've lived on base for 3 weeks and it's hard finding real friends.

[@Babylexx27]

Kayti Parker yes it definitely can be hang in there I’m sure you will find your click who get you!! So happy you enjoyed this video

[@RomanticRomeoCasanova69]

Honestly, the secret life of becoming a military spouse is having a secret boyfriend on the side that you never talk about!!!

[@4Allexis]

Something I learned the hard way: book a plane ticket for the better price BUT get insurance for it that way you can cancel or move it if you need to! Insurance is the way to go with travel coming from a Milso stationed in Hawaii! Love your channel ❤️

[@Babylexx27]

Allexis Wise awe thanks for coming over to my channel!! Good advice I had no idea thanks !!

[@lmichelle7012]

The military changed my husband’s and my life for the good and bad....so many struggles and ironically we too were married quickly because after having a baby and struggling financially to stay afloat....he comes home and says “guess what I joined the army so we need to get married because I leave in 2 wks for basic”!!👀 I was like “ummm wtf do u mean....I’m not marrying u just for that”!! 😂 but we did and it’s been 15 yrs since and were still together!! But most don’t last long!!

[@senpai6464]

Please give tips about longterm marriages I am curious about that btw I'm 16 but I am worried about this issue

[@senpai6464]

@Chase Kylan I'll use it in the future Thanks Have a great day /evening.

[@brymarie8]

My boyfriend just left yesterday for Ft. Benning basic training and it’s been hard to stop crying and i can imagine it’ll only get more difficult but your advice as well as your other videos help to make me feel better about my situation. I need a hobby and to work on myself more. Marriage isn’t something i want right now though. I want to enjoy our bf/gf phase.

[@Babylexx27]

Bry awe I know I cried so much the first week an here an there in little moments I wish I had him for during that 4 month training but you got this hang in there an do what’s best for you ❤️❤️

[@brymarie8]

Always4everGreens omg i didn’t think you’d reply but thank you so much for the encouragement! ❤️

[@bex0031]

Sorry you have had some of these bad experiences! I would love to see a video of the things you love about military spouse life. :)

[@Babylexx27]

Bekah oh definitely this was some segregation from other people as well so not all my experience!! Definitely lots of great things to talk about too thank you for watching

[@katherinecampton3963]

I’ve been called a dependa a lot because I’m over weight honestly I’ve been working on it and the husband is actually getting mad at me for losing weight he’s like I love you just the way you are you don’t have to change for me only do it for yourself and I’m doing it for myself because we want a family and I need to be healthier

[@richarddyson119]

So I would just like to elaborate on some of the things you commentd on here. As far as my qualifications go I did 8 years in the Army and 17 years as a dependent. BAH is something new for on base. Just started a little over 10 years ago. You don't get it because you get a free house, you pay for nothing as you would off post. Separate Rats is the money you get for groceries and it is every month. Even in the civilian world you can get ticketed for not taking care of your house not just the military. Never had a problem with any medical facility or any facility on post for that matter when it comes to the entire place being rude as you stated about the hospital. As far as dental go, you dont pay as much for the insurance as civilians do and you automatically get it for being a dependent. Civilians don't. The baggers work for free that is why you tip them. They aren't employed by the commissary. Everything on post is tax free and a lot cheaper usually than off post. Get a job, it's the easiest way to make friends and before you say anything, I worked the entire time my wife was in and that includes 2 months for hurricane Andrew relief, 4 months at BNCOC, 1 month at PLDC, 1 year in Korea, 5 NTC rotations and 3 yrs and 3 months in Iraq. It is hard to do with 2 young kids but I did it and so can you. If you can't get any leave taken then your unit is not doing you right. They know months in advance when they are going to do things and you should never have your leave cancelled. Kidsxas young as you say are not allowed to be out without a parent, it is a law on post, I know I was an MP in the military. Just 1 more thing, combat arms, which is what your husband is considered is one of the hardest things in the military if he likes his job then fine, but if he would like to be home more he should try to reclassify when he is up for reenlistment. It is something soldiers can do. The ID card is your insurance card just to clarify. Good luck to you, military life is hard and military spouse is harder, but you are better taken care of then in civilian life.

[@sierrapaige1933]

my husband is going to the army within the next few months, so watching your videos is definitely preparing me for what's to come. we have two little girls and this is gonna be a big change for us. thanks for making these videos and we live in GA as well 😁

[@AutumnAuman]

I don’t know how we do it either. Just a lot of praying! When we lived on base I left my i.d card at the house and it was the WORST experience!

[@Babylexx27]

Autumn Auman ugh I bet I always check like 4 times before we leave make sure I have it

[@E_Munny]

My boyfriend and I made things official literally one MONTH before he moved to Ft. Benning for IBOLC. I'm realizing fairly quickly why people get married so quickly, lol. Traveling from TX to GA once a month to see him is super hard but I love the dude. I'm hoping he get stationed closer.

[@jojoslays9801]

I’m a new marine wife. I got married September 14th of this year. Thank you for all the information! I appreciate this so much.

[@Babylexx27]

JoJo Slays I’m so happy you got something out of this I’m not sure if all is the same bc army is all I know but I hope I helped a little ❤️❤️

[@builtbyteamhatch]

JoJo Slays Welcome to the family ❤️

[@brentjoslin2146]

Great videos! (Part one and two!) I appreciate your candidness, authenticity and helpful tips. I’ll be forwarding your videos to a couple I know currently heading to basic (air force) which of course will be different but I love the idea of you sharing your experience with other military spouses!! Keep up the great work and God bless you, your marriage, your family and your awesome outreach to other Military spouses. 👍👍👍🦅🦅🦅 Brent Joslin

[@bradmedlin2372]

You bring up a lot of the information that can be overlooked by the military member. Thank you for that. I wish you touched more on the resources out there to help like the AFRC (Airmans Family Readiness Center) for the Airforce. They offer help with resume building, consoling (solo and couples), help with kids, deployed spouse help, financial advice/interest free loans(special circumstance's needed for this), etc. The army and the other branches should have something similar. The hospital or clinic on base offer lots of mental health support as well if you need something more professional. There is also the Chaplain, who is there for military members and their spouses alike to listen, plus the chaplain is legally not allowed to tell anyone anything you say. The chaplains are known to put on date nights/weekend getaways for free, sometimes with child care! Since its a "military function" its much easier to get out of work to go do this! The military highly encourages members to take these trips as it looks good for the unit/base. Most of the time you'll spend 30 minutes with the chaplain who will say a few words then the rest of the time is yours! Just because things get hard, doesn't mean you're in this alone or there is no help, especially while your member is deployed! Tons of resources out there to help. The Red Cross will pull a member from doing anything (I'm talking, deployment, training, work, etc) for a close death/serious illness/condition in the close family. Close as defined as spouse, children, siblings, parents(or whoever raised them). Once a Red Cross notification goes out, that's it. The military has to get them home quick! Not weeks, not days but hours! The family members at-home will have to call the red cross and get it all set-up. The Red Cross will tell you if this emergency qualifies for a recall so when in doubt, call! The Red Cross will need basic information about your military member, I don't have that off but stuff like their Social, Unit, deployed location. If nothing else, get a hold of the Unit's first shirt and let them know whats going on. They will try to accommodate as much as they if the emergency doesn't qualify for a Red Cross notification.

[@theoneonlymichelle3.082]

You should get a KZbin channel sir. I appreciate your comments on this post. Thank you

[@lmichelle7012]

Came across your videos and literally just relived my experience being an infantry spouse all over again!!! We also were stationed in ft benning, but the first 6 yrs of his career we went from ft benning(basic) to ft Lewis(6 mths), to Germany (4yrs total) but 7 mths in he deploys for 18mths , mind u our son was 8 wks old and daughter 22mths!! Almost deploys again but instead gets orders for him to be a drill sergeant in ft. Benning, I was excited at first thinking yes no deployment....haha I was stupid....him becoming a drill sergeant was the toughest years of our marriage/family life but held on....he was medically retired as E6 with 10 yrs in from Ft benning since 2014!

[@athomewithtroy1690]

Those citations are real they also come from leaving toys, car parts, etc. on your lawn, and things like that. I also agree about leaving such smaller children out and about on post there is a comfortability because the post is guarded but dogs, bigger mean kids could also be an issue I dont agree with that relaxed attitude of parenting.

[@Babylexx27]

At home with Troy yes totally agree!!!

[@abigailfernandez5582]

Love these military videos! You’re so positive but informative not bias!

[@jonesatlas8629]

Finding friends with the same morals as you is definitely super hard!

[@Babylexx27]

Sheena Jones yes !!

[@tammylee8420]

My fiancee and I are Christian's.

[@Whoa0its0Andrea]

Girl our commissary was HORRIBLE. We would constantly find things in there that were over a year expired The kids on base were awful. I think that was the most shocking thing for me. Craziest thing I saw was a 3 year old pushing a toddler on the sidewalk with no adult in sight. We have thankfully been stationed at reserve bases so I haven’t had to be seen on base and neither have my kids! I avoid the other wives like the plague.

[@Whoa0its0Andrea]

I think one thing you forgot is the loneliness. Most of us are stay at home moms because either A. We can’t afford to put the kids in or B. Your spouse being gone means it’s all on you. You have no extra help.

[@Babylexx27]

Yes definitely I’ll have to talk about that next time thanks for the advice

[@Babylexx27]

& wow that’s crazy I can’t believe some people’s parenting some times 🙄

[@thomasmoseley4015]

When I was in the Marines we had a SSGT lose his 4 year old daughter (details unclear its been years) while we were in AFG. He didn't get to go home for that... so tragic.

[@Babylexx27]

Thomas Moseley wow that’s crazy !

[@joansusmena2955]

Thank you for all the info. Love your makeup btw!

[@Babylexx27]

Joan Susmena yes I hope it was helpful thank you for watching !! & thanks so much

[@litzyluna6991]

I’m 20 I just got married to my husband I’m in my 4th semester of college but I want to move with him where ever he’s going to be station. But I’m so nervous like I want to be happy and live a happy life with him but I also want all my credits to transfer. So I don’t what to do or where to start.

[@Babylexx27]

Litzy Luna well you could always finish your classes online that way you can travel with him !! But I think it’s ultimately y’all’s decision! If you think you would be good to just pack up an move an so online school then do it or wait it out till you finish then decide !

[@doronsteinersoul9127]

I think actually as a civilian that you can get fined for overgrown lawns, at least in my state. Weird when i heard that also.

[@Babylexx27]

Doron Steinersoul oh really that’s crazy!! I had no idea !

[@applecrave1097]

Wth

[@bobbydyne]

Most commonly seen in HOAs

[@mo2890]

Ha, in july my husband will be in for 11 years. The last 9 years i have been with him and i am so over it. But i wished i saw a video like this when i started. But now he is probably going for retirement. I would rather get out and make it work. It is so hard raising kids and constantly worrying about when and if and where and cancelling and new. And doing it all day, everyday. I am done.

[@Babylexx27]

Yes I totally understand that !!

[@ashleyreyes7705]

Yess girl 🙄 I got a yellow note on my door one time saying if I didn't remove the weeds infront of my window by the front door that I would have to pay money 😒

[@Val-jrc2m]

My bf has been in the reserves for 5 years and is going active in a couple. I’m so nervous about the military hospitals because I have a lot of health issues and the doctors already have a tough time helping me. Would you be willing to do a video on military healthcare?

[@Babylexx27]

I don’t think I’m qualified to do a whole video on healthcare but you’re welcome to DM me On instagram an I can share my knowledge there with you

[@bradmedlin2372]

As long as you're legally his dependent; they will accommodate you. If they can't help you on base, they can refer you off-base to a specialist. If the medical condition needs constant specialized healthcare that is not offered in the local area of the base; the member (and dependents) will get PCS'd or be forced to move to a different base. The military will not always be aware of your situation so you will need to let them know formally. You need everything in writing. They probably wont move you guys over night. If you can tell the military formally before he gets orders; you can avoid having to move twice. The military will accommodate your health conditions but you most likely wont get to decide what doctors you get. The military doesn't care if you guys are dating. In their eyes, he is single until he's married. You don't have to be married to be legally his dependent but that's the easiest way. I don't know the other ways or if they apply to your situation but I know they are out there. There should be resource on base that can give you tons of information and even help you with the paperwork! In the Airforce its called the AFRC or Airman Family Readiness Center, the other branches will have something similar, your bf should know the name of it by now! Hope this helps!

[@Val-jrc2m]

Brad Medlin Thank you so much that was very informative! I appreciate you taking the time to answer

[@tammylee8420]

You were so much help! Blessings to you and your family!🙏

[@natalieflecha4580]

Thanks a lot for your vid!! Im from PR. I used to be on the military NG but not any longer. Currently i married 2 months ago. Were expecting a baby boy, and hes about to be released from the NG to go Active, and as soon as they give him a date, were planning on living on base. He used to be a military brat so hes more familiarized with the life in a base. But not me. And honestly i want to be prepared for everything

[@chimairamoody3883]

How long are you and your husband apart year round?

[@jenellydelaluz]

You are so pretty 🦋

[@Babylexx27]

Jenelly Delaluz thank you!!

[@kassandrarodriguez8057]

Yea. My husband in military, he missed my birthday for the past 3 years. I spend it with my mom, she would fly to see me. And yes, plans don’t mean anything. Which, they ought to do better with vacation days allotment. Cause it sucks that you can’t pick, but it sucks even more when you don’t know ahead when it’s going to be. It’s expensive to go on vacation if you can only plan it like 2 weeks before. Personally, I don’t think the military pays enough for that bs. I have a career that is more flexible and pays more, but my husband really likes his job in military so I deal with it. But personally, military life sucks bc of the moving around and also, cause of the lack of time I get to spend with my husband. I would be more forgiving towards the military if they actually gave real vacation days. Like, what world does it make sense for your husband to be gone 7 to 9 months at a time but you get barely 2 weeks vacation before that? It should be for the rest of the year since the pay isn’t even that great.

[@ramboollie8115]

Always remember he is a solider 24 seven first and everything else is second

[@ariannaalexis6469]

My bf of 2 ish years is leaving this Saturday for ft Benning and I'm super nervous (because of the issues with Iran rn etc) but he wants to get married and I'm kinda of nervous for that and also moving to a new state and leaving my family. It's all happened so fast and I feel so overwhelmed. Watching these types of videos have honestly helped subdue some of the anxiety.

[@Babylexx27]

Arianna Alexis I’m so glad these videos have helped you!! Feel free to reach out whenever !! I can totally relate hang in there and I what’s best for you!

[@Wise_crook]

Living on base, how often did you see him?

[@arianacannie1921]

He’s usually never able to go out of town unless he’s actually on leave.. I still go and visit my family and just take kids with me.

[@samanthatoone386]

So I have a question, me and my husband have been together 10 years and married for 2. We have 3 kids. There has been a lot of cheating over 10 years. Some that almost broke us. He has joined the navy and is leaving for boot camp in 2 months. I can’t stop crying. I don’t ever cry in front of him bc I don’t want him to feel bad for doing what he thinks is right. But I KNOW he is gonna cheat when/if he gets deployed. But here is the catch, I want our family to work. And I’m willing to do whatever I need to to make it work. I want to grow with him. But the cheating reallllllly bothers me. Especially when I know her or it’s in my face. The thought is breaking my heart and he hasn’t even left yet. How do I deal with him doing that while he is away, while I’m at home taking care of our kids alone

[@Babylexx27]

That’s so hard I’m so sorry.. I can’t imagine that breaks my heart I think you just have to do what’s best for you and your family once the kids get older they will see you struggle an in pain so don’t think your doing it for them , you need to do what’s right for you an your heart!! You could always see someone and talk about this the military provides those sort or resources also that are free and also if it’s leaked he’s doing this once he’s in a married it will not look go on him if his higher ups know an could get kicked out depending on who he’s cheating with and the effect is is having..

[@tammyturner2971]

Girl I’m at ft. Stewart I love your videos they have been so helpful!

[@Babylexx27]

tammy Turner I’m so happy your enjoying them !!

[@kayti6551]

We just got to Fort Stewart too! Definitely mixed feelings, I mean paperwork alone has been so stressful haha

[@EmilyCastro-bx1nq]

My bf is currently in Ft. Benning and finishes infantry training in January. We've been together for 3 years Im 18 turning 19 in March and he's 20. He won't stop talking about marriage which I really want to do but I want to become a police officer and don't know how my parents would react but I love your videos thank you so much for all your info!!

[@Babylexx27]

Emily Castro I’m So glad you liked my video!! Thank you for watching I think definitely do what’s best for your relationship!! And you can definitely still do your career with his career don’t hold that back there is no reason you can’t still do that if y’all get married!!

[@carolinalopez2389]

Emily Castro focus on your career, it’s wayyyy harder when you’re married especially with someone in the military. But, you do you, good luck

[@talicianicole9524]

I’m a military wife and when I was working and I had to paperwork for my job and I was going to the doctor on base that process was terrible they would lose my papers for my job for example when I had to go maternity leave and my job was like we need that paperwork so they didn’t understand how stressful combing civilian and military was.So if you have civilian job and going to the military doctor never wait to the last minute to do paperwork and make copies cause they will lose your stuff

[@Babylexx27]

Oh wow ugh that is Terrible

[@sarahwalton1662]

So curious.. How long does it take for the on base housing process to go through? Like do you move in after they get done with basic training? Or A.I.T? My husband plans on going into the army very soon an just trying to prepare myself the best I can.

[@nicolestevenson8940]

Super helpful! My fiance and i are getting married this July. I have no idea what im going into especially having a 2 year old.

[@lmichelle7012]

Fort Benning housing is horrible! Something breaks(which does a lot cause houses are cheaply made)maintenance takes FOREVER! Everyone is like hermits with shades drawn, at least when I was there...once an MP is at someone’s house all of a sudden every neighbor is sitting in their driveway, walking by, or looking out window😂 !! Bus stop gossip is great too lol...... so many many memories!! Thank you for sharing and I’m going to sub😁

[@jadesavedbygrace2325]

I'm currently in a military relationship thanks for the information.

[@umok8685]

My fiancé is in AIT at Fort Benning right now lol

[@alexiswhite426]

How often do you get to see your husband ?or like how often does he get to stay with you like overnight?

[@katherinecampton3963]

How do you do it? One day at a time

[@tecmacamoyolo]

I'm fixing to move to Ft Carson, what offpost grocery store do you recommend?

[@Babylexx27]

Safeway was my favorite

[@jadesavedbygrace2325]

The unsupervised kids is common where I live as a civilian government housing has some similarities to that aspect my child isn't allowed out with out me even though she is older.

[@claudetterain2243]

Girl stop apologizing, Don't say sorry for your experience, women can be so nasty pay them no mind ❤

[@TySlayz]

New Army Wife ! Are family members allowed on base ? And staying on base sounds good and bad. Recruiter recommended me and our son to live on base for a while. And awesome videos, they have been very helpful and eye opening for me.

[@Babylexx27]

TyQuanisha Joe oh yes they definitely are you just get a pass !! Yes I think that’s very smart bc some towns around bases are not the best so it’s good to get a feel for things in a safe place like the base

[@TySlayz]

Always4everGreens Awesome thank you ! ♥️

[@jojoslays9801]

Also if you happen to be pregnant on base and you have to have the baby on base. Would your parents be able to be there for the birth of your child? Or would you just have to do it alone?

[@Babylexx27]

JoJo Slays no you can have who ever you want in the room

[@jojoslays9801]

Always4everGreens What about school for the kids or daycare ? How would that work out ? I’m on birth control now but, I’ll be off within a year and by then I’m sure he’d want to start a family. I just needed to know for future reference.

[@Babylexx27]

On the base they have schools and also offer daycare as well but you pay by rank hope that helps feel free to message me over on Instagram we can chat more !!

[@meredithmachado5217]

I thought it is called post for army and base for navy?? Am I wrong or remember wrong lol

[@Babylexx27]

Meredith Machado no it’s the same thing!! Just depends on the person

[@marilynmonroe1305]

Thanks for the video I needed this

[@maricelajazminjuarezsandov6967]

How do you girls deal with the fear of losing your husband while they're on deployment?? ☹️

[@carrbri92]

Honestly you just have to have faith that your husband will come home. It is hard knowing that any day you can lose him. Deployment will either break you or make you. Because deployment is not easy and especially if you go through losing a family member or friend while he is gone. Another key thing is just communication as much as you both can combined with love, trust, and hope.

[@Ashley-pn2is]

omg, i have sooo many questions! can i please email you? My husband going to be joining the army...and i need friends && advice&& answers :)

[@Babylexx27]

Ashley Riser definitely feel free or DM me on instagram I always get back to those

[@Ashley-pn2is]

@@Babylexx27 alright, sounds great! :D

[@meganpearson2643]

If your hubs get stationed at fort Riley, I’ll be your friend. Lol I think we would click 😂

[@Babylexx27]

Megan Pearson Yaya

[@AmaiPerry]

Love your hair 🌺🌺🌺🌺🌺

[@Babylexx27]

AmaiPerry thank you!!

[@jadesavedbygrace2325]

Thanks for all the information.

[@theresamartinez1382]

I don’t really understand the BAH part? We were told if we live on base we wouldn’t have to pay anything?

[@Babylexx27]

Theresa Martinez it is taken out of your pay check automatic you still have to pay for personal things !

[@dazhanebraden4311]

Do you get bah/bha when you live on base?

[@Babylexx27]

Yes but depending on the house they might take full BAH just depends if you live off you just have to manage it on your own

[@amandal5405]

Great information!

[@drewfoxx916]

Didn’t hear any positives, any positives about being in the military plz?

[@glennabenally2778]

I have a fiancé that’s in the military and he told me “GOA”?? What does this mean??

[@Babylexx27]

Glenna Benally I have no idea ... I guess you could google it or ask him? I have no idea I’m not the best with things like that I would need mor context

[@Stephyysierra]

you should find a farmers market

[@johanncuervo4566]

What are the positives?

[@reggiepyrtle8473]

Should we buy a house ?

[@Babylexx27]

I don’t know your situation

[@reggiepyrtle8473]

@@Babylexx27 my wife currently is at basic and should be getting your duty station at some point. When she does should we purchase a home wherever we get shipped or just rent ?

[@anthonyjhernandez24]

What is your husbands MOS ?

[@Babylexx27]

Anthony Hernandez he’s Infantry

[@anthonyjhernandez24]

My wife is at basic training now at Fort leonardwood . How is the process like after she completes everything? When will i be informed of her graduation date ? When will i know where we be stationed ? Is it true houses in base for E2 are dumps ? Lol

[@jacquelineeh9194]

So true

[@angiee3419]

Watching this kind of video makes think i was born in the wrong country hahaha

[@tonierae9097]

This is stressful....

[@Babylexx27]

It definitely can be !! But watch others of my videos and helpful I can help you!

[@Larathece0]

This video took my pride away. 🤣

[@golife2480]

This is probably the hardest life ever for USA standards.

[@yutao916]

Can't believe ur husband let u stay there alone