PART ONE: Why Are We Idolizing These Marriages?

Real fam, what are your thoughts on idolizing marriages that have lasted a long time?

[@user87953]

What we need to stop idolizing is Hollywood marriages, women saying "cardi b and offset are goals" or all these other messy couples......no. Get a man who respects you, who is faithful, who is honest. Stop idolizing all this struggle love👀 js🤷🏻‍♀️

[@larajensen1821]

Carley Gomez I agree 💗

[@irvanisse]

SAY👏🏻 IT 👏🏻LOUDER 👏🏻for the people in the back🗣👥

[@sherrig6712]

Carley Gomez facts

[@Noor-sl1xq]

preach.

[@DeliahLolaLewis]

Uhh... who says that? Lol I have NEVER heard someone say that. Lol maybe you need to change your circle. I don't even want to hear bs like that with my circle.

[@MimiHawk]

I understand both sides but I'ma have to agree with Tamera. If you're more sad than happy in your marriage, that's not healthy and could be emotionally draining.

[@osimeon00]

That's why therapy and counseling exist.

[@MimiHawk]

@@osimeon00 I am happily married. I was speaking in general terms.

[@lovegrace3719]

Divorce is NOT allowed by GOD for just any reason, neither is remarriage. STOP teaching LIES. Your government has DECEIVED you. Premarital sex is also sinful. So STOP having sex with any person except your spouse. That is being a WHORE (according to the blessed WORD of GOD). AMEN. Learn more on Marriage, Divorce, and Single Living here ⤵ www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/B013VTKZHE?ref_=dbs_s_def_awm_dirs_l_9&storeType=ebooks#productDescription_secondary_view_div_1507077622522 Remember that all of my books are free for the asking, by the grace of GOD. You may also obtain any of my books on Amazon to support my work in the LORD, if GOD leads you to do so. Much love in CHRIST JESUS!

[@MimiHawk]

@@lovegrace3719 divorce is not an option in my marriage, I was not sleeping around before I got married, and this is terrible way to promote yourself.

[@lovegrace3719]

@@MimiHawk First of all, I'm promoting GOD'S TRUTH, not myself. And according to the scriptures, I'm right on track (teaching truth without compromise), by the grace of God and to His glory. Second of all, no matter if divorce is an option or not for your marriage (as long as you're more happy than sad, according to you), you're still promoting sin. Being more sad than happy is not reason enough to get a divorce. In fact, many women find themselves unhappy because of their own deceptions. Much love in Christ Jesus.

[@bibble1023]

I agree with Loni, people approach marriage these days as the final step to making things official instead of a lifelong commitment.

[@HeatherKruel]

amazing comment, so true

[@ayonnazglam9050]

Facts!

[@shashavengesayi6055]

Exactly

[@ogenesis]

Yes, it's so hilarious. You stand there and make a promise to that person and GOD that you are going to stay with them through the bad times and good times, through poor, sickness..and so on and them bam, 2 years later it's a divorced because the guy lost a job or you're no longer sexual attracted to him. But God understands right, I mean its a sin when I do it because Gods knows Im a good person. So even though I promised GOD all these things and in the bible it says multiple times that divorce is a sin. And divorce is the ONLY thing in the bible that GOD says he hates, I'm sure he doesn't really care...right?

[@bibble1023]

ogenesis In response to your references to God and the Bible in relation to marriage, these days, non believers and other people who don’t follow God or the word of God are getting married, therefore, they don’t acknowledge the fact that marriage is of God, they completely disregard it and do whatever they feel like when they get married instead of letting the word of God guide them. Some Christians/believers are guilty of this too.

[@esmecim2131]

I have been happily married for 33 years and proud of it!

[@dawnarxtic]

happy for u! ♥️

[@wshelby83]

Esme that's beautiful!! You're truly blessed

[@kimberlymawi]

I hope to receive this type of blessing one day!

[@wshelby83]

@@kimberlymawi right! I pray I get to experience that

[@The.Whoever]

I bet it's because you don't focus on what you can't control and you put yourself first.

[@Pinesol605]

My mom was with my dad for 26 years! She wasted her youth and her time. Half of those years she endured cheating and disrespect, that is not goals at all. Goals is when there is mutual respect, communication and genuine love. A healthy relationship is a great relationship.

[@ogenesis]

But why take the vows then? Thats what I dont get. The vows say they're promising to this person and GOD that you will be with them through the bad times, poor times, sick times. If it was easy then there would be no need to take the vows. Did you know that divorce is the only thing in the bible that God actually says he hates. Like literally in red? I think so many women nowadays are like, well if I'm not enjoying this then I'm sure god understands. Not everything is about how much you enjoy it. I mean, kids are going to be a hassle, tough, money strain but you shouldn't just abandon your kids if you're not having fun anymore.. I just dont think people are actually paying attention to the words and swears and vows they make to GOD. I think it's like a play to them, or just a nice little tradition. If you know that you're going to leave your wife or husband when things get to bad....why promise GOD that you wont? I just dont get it.

[@didiash]

if you look deep into it or ask her she might tell you she did it for you and your siblings if you have any. It was a sacrifice on her part/life to ensure her kids grow up with mom and dad regardless

[@sylvannarae8152]

These are self inflicted problems though caused by poor choices people decide to make. 1 person may have taken those vows and meant every word but the other person took those vows without as pure of intentions or new they had vices that were not conducive to a happy marriage, does that mean the other person has to stay and suffer? HELL NO. Problems will arise in every marriage but these problems should be out of your control like health, or money not cheating, that's a selfish CHOICE that was made without taking the vows seriously.

[@Pinesol605]

@@sylvannarae8152 Thank you queen! You get it what I was saying.

[@Pinesol605]

@@didiash She did do It for us. As an adult today though I think it's an excuse to "stay for the kids." It hurts them more than help. Why have kids grow up in a dysfunctional house hold?

[@Lulu-hk3er]

My parents were married for over 40 years and my father kissed my mother every morning and every night. They had total respect for each other and were best friends. I’m lucky to say That i have that same relationship now and have been married for 16 years.

[@consolataotieno2811]

That's beautiful

[@yzma6142]

So blessed ❤️

[@coreywilson5167]

Aww that’s sweet

[@NinaBT-nu3vs]

I stopped idolizing my grandparents marriage once I found out that my grandfather had 3 children by 2 different woman!!! My grandmother only New about one of the children

[@juliannesharpe278]

Good Point!!

[@lovegrace3719]

Another Woman Blessing ⤵ www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/B071CZSDMT?ref_=dbs_s_def_awm_dirs_l_9&storeType=ebooks Just think of how different things would be if a man brought another woman home and said to his wife, "Love, this is my new wife," and his current wife simply said, "Blessings! How are you doing? Welcome to the family." It would eliminate the desire of some to sneak around. Let your man have as many wives as he desire. Just pray for him and love him. He don't need your permission, but if you don't throw a fit, it will help the situation. And no ladies, you cannot have another man nor a woman. Domestic violence in these cases would then be eliminated. That's exactly the scenario that you can expect that holy men of God throughout the Bible (including David, Jacob, Gideon, and so forth) had when they brought new wives home. Back in the 1800s, American Presidents passed laws forbidding a man from having more than one wife, just as they had once forbidden slaves from getting married. But that has not been God's rule throughout history. We have been brought up under man-made rules, and because man-made laws tend to shape the behavior of humans and they're thinking and reasoning, we have concluded that something was wrong which God never called wrong, just as many people today conclude that homosexuality is right because of laws that are made, when God never called homosexuality right: It is an "Abomination" His site. So we should not get man's laws confused with God's laws. We have to check man's laws against God's laws and make sure that we are not walking in deception. There are ways around man's laws, and you can learn about that in my book that's attached to this comment, so that you won't find yourself in prison for having more than one wife. The same government that took the right of men to marry more than one wife away, also gave men the right to marry other men and women the right to marry other women, and that is a wicked and sinful thing. Those are ungodly legislations. You can find places in the United States where prostitution is legal, where killing your baby is legal, where women can leave the country with a "good" man's child and put him on child support, while she plays the whore with other men. These are wicked and abominable laws that are designed to totally destroy families. They have nothing to do with God's Word. They have nothing to do with God's truth. We need to get back to God's Word because that's the only way the family unit will be blessed. Satan have deceived women into thinking that they have some type of ownership over a man, that they are equal to him, when the Bible calls him your head, and you are to obey him and submit to him. But the devil has lied to you and deceived you because you've gotten away from God's truth. It's time for you to turn to God's truth and away from the devil's lies which are weeded in into man's laws and have deceived your hearts. ---------- Do "What" if he has two wives??? Note: Some things were sin in the Old Testament which are not sin today, like eating pork (which I still don't like for health reasons). But other things which were sin in the Old Testament are still sin today, like hating others and murder. Always thoroughly check New Testament Scriptures with prayer and fasting to see what has changed and what has stayed the same. Moses' Instructions from GOD to the children of Israel: If a man is having gay sex: Death Penalty If a man is having sex with a married woman: Death Penalty for them both! If a person has sex with an animal: Death Penalty for the human and the animal! If a man has sex with a woman on her period: Serious Crime with punishment of separation from the people. Also, If a man had sex with a woman who was his wife and also with her mother they were to be burnt with fire (all of them). If a woman lost her virginity before marriage: Death penalty! (Unless the man who took her virginity married her right away, but she couldn't just go and marry another man). In the Old Testament scriptures, if a man committed an act of having sex with another man's wife or having sex with another man, they both were guilty of great sin and received the death penalty. However, if a man simply had two wives this was not considered a sin but he was to treat the children fairly of all (both) of his wives. Now, is homosexuality and sleeping with another man's wife still sin today? Yes and the Bible says so (Rom chp 1, 1st Cor chp 6). But has GOD suddenly made it a sin for a man to have more than one wife? No, and the Bible doesn't say so (Matt 25:1-4). Though it does say that a woman can only have one husband (Rom 7:5). Don't allow cultural beliefs and human traditions to confuse nor deceive you. Praise CHRIST JESUS! Stick to the WORD of GOD and you shall do well. AMEN. Special and Very Important Note: Every human being has broken GOD'S law in one way or another; that's called sin. Every human being has sinned. Therefore, every human being needs a Saviour. The only Saviour that GOD has given to humankind is "HIS Beloved SON JESUS CHRIST". JESUS CHRIST is the LORD from Heaven who became a human being and died for the sins of the world. HE (JESUS CHRIST) rose again on the third day, showed HIMSELF alive to many chosen witnesses, ascended into Heaven where HE'S now seated at HIS FATHER'S Right Hand. The blessed LORD JESUS shall soon return to judge the world with righteousness. Those who have trusted HIM for salvation and forgiveness of sins, shall live forever with HIM as long as they continue in HIS faith. Those who reject HIM shall die in their sins and spend all eternity in the Lake of Fire. But those who are saved from sins by the power of HIS Glorious and Blessed HOLY SPIRIT will live forever with the LORD in HIS glorious Kingdom in perfect peace. Praise CHRIST JESUS! AMEN. More Scripture References: Lev chp 20, Deu chp 22, the book of Romans, and the entire Holy Bible. Learn more in my blessed new book entitled "GOD, Government, and the Marriage Covenant: The Real Truth about Marriage". Get it by clicking on the following link to help support my work in the LORD or simply ask me for a free copy. Much love in CHRIST JESUS! Apostle Thaddeus The Ministry of Pure Truth All Glory be to GOD! AMEN.

[@DEMETRIUSblaze]

Life happens you don't know why or how the reason that doesn't make him a bad person we all fall down his lesson too you don't put the hall in more than your #1 Woman

[@lovegrace3719]

@Lin K Another Woman Blessing ⤵ www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/B071CZSDMT?ref_=dbs_s_def_awm_dirs_l_9&storeType=ebooks Just think of how different things would be if a man brought another woman home and said to his wife, "Love, this is my new wife," and his current wife simply said, "Blessings! How are you doing? Welcome to the family." It would eliminate the desire of some to sneak around. Let your man have as many wives as he desire. Just pray for him and love him. He don't need your permission, but if you don't throw a fit, it will help the situation. And no ladies, you cannot have another man nor a woman. Domestic violence in these cases would then be eliminated. That's exactly the scenario that you can expect that holy men of God throughout the Bible (including David, Jacob, Gideon, and so forth) had when they brought new wives home. Back in the 1800s, American Presidents passed laws forbidding a man from having more than one wife, just as they had once forbidden slaves from getting married. But that has not been God's rule throughout history. We have been brought up under man-made rules, and because man-made laws tend to shape the behavior of humans and they're thinking and reasoning, we have concluded that something was wrong which God never called wrong, just as many people today conclude that homosexuality is right because of laws that are made, when God never called homosexuality right: It is an "Abomination" His site. So we should not get man's laws confused with God's laws. We have to check man's laws against God's laws and make sure that we are not walking in deception. There are ways around man's laws, and you can learn about that in my book that's attached to this comment, so that you won't find yourself in prison for having more than one wife. The same government that took the right of men to marry more than one wife away, also gave men the right to marry other men and women the right to marry other women, and that is a wicked and sinful thing. Those are ungodly legislations. You can find places in the United States where prostitution is legal, where killing your baby is legal, where women can leave the country with a "good" man's child and put him on child support, while she plays the whore with other men. These are wicked and abominable laws that are designed to totally destroy families. They have nothing to do with God's Word. They have nothing to do with God's truth. We need to get back to God's Word because that's the only way the family unit will be blessed. Satan have deceived women into thinking that they have some type of ownership over a man, that they are equal to him, when the Bible calls him your head, and you are to obey him and submit to him. But the devil has lied to you and deceived you because you've gotten away from God's truth. It's time for you to turn to God's truth and away from the devil's lies which are weeded in into man's laws and have deceived your hearts. ---------- Do "What" if he has two wives??? Note: Some things were sin in the Old Testament which are not sin today, like eating pork (which I still don't like for health reasons). But other things which were sin in the Old Testament are still sin today, like hating others and murder. Always thoroughly check New Testament Scriptures with prayer and fasting to see what has changed and what has stayed the same. Moses' Instructions from GOD to the children of Israel: If a man is having gay sex: Death Penalty If a man is having sex with a married woman: Death Penalty for them both! If a person has sex with an animal: Death Penalty for the human and the animal! If a man has sex with a woman on her period: Serious Crime with punishment of separation from the people. Also, If a man had sex with a woman who was his wife and also with her mother they were to be burnt with fire (all of them). If a woman lost her virginity before marriage: Death penalty! (Unless the man who took her virginity married her right away, but she couldn't just go and marry another man). In the Old Testament scriptures, if a man committed an act of having sex with another man's wife or having sex with another man, they both were guilty of great sin and received the death penalty. However, if a man simply had two wives this was not considered a sin but he was to treat the children fairly of all (both) of his wives. Now, is homosexuality and sleeping with another man's wife still sin today? Yes and the Bible says so (Rom chp 1, 1st Cor chp 6). But has GOD suddenly made it a sin for a man to have more than one wife? No, and the Bible doesn't say so (Matt 25:1-4). Though it does say that a woman can only have one husband (Rom 7:5). Don't allow cultural beliefs and human traditions to confuse nor deceive you. Praise CHRIST JESUS! Stick to the WORD of GOD and you shall do well. AMEN. Special and Very Important Note: Every human being has broken GOD'S law in one way or another; that's called sin. Every human being has sinned. Therefore, every human being needs a Saviour. The only Saviour that GOD has given to humankind is "HIS Beloved SON JESUS CHRIST". JESUS CHRIST is the LORD from Heaven who became a human being and died for the sins of the world. HE (JESUS CHRIST) rose again on the third day, showed HIMSELF alive to many chosen witnesses, ascended into Heaven where HE'S now seated at HIS FATHER'S Right Hand. The blessed LORD JESUS shall soon return to judge the world with righteousness. Those who have trusted HIM for salvation and forgiveness of sins, shall live forever with HIM as long as they continue in HIS faith. Those who reject HIM shall die in their sins and spend all eternity in the Lake of Fire. But those who are saved from sins by the power of HIS Glorious and Blessed HOLY SPIRIT will live forever with the LORD in HIS glorious Kingdom in perfect peace. Praise CHRIST JESUS! AMEN. More Scripture References: Lev chp 20, Deu chp 22, the book of Romans, and the entire Holy Bible. Learn more in my blessed new book entitled "GOD, Government, and the Marriage Covenant: The Real Truth about Marriage". Get it by clicking on the following link to help support my work in the LORD or simply ask me for a free copy. Much love in CHRIST JESUS! Apostle Thaddeus The Ministry of Pure Truth All Glory be to GOD! AMEN.

[@backupfordata9878]

I stopped idolizing my parents marriage years back. They are separated, not divorced yet. My father has already moved on with a woman who is 12 years younger to him. Frankly .. I think marriage is a sham

[@dawnarxtic]

People nowadays just want to get married just to say that they are married...

[@naomip3002]

It used to be worse. Previous generations got married just to move out of home.

[@adamharb9233]

Naomi P tru! They would fight with they parents and like hours later, they be calling their parents on da phone and telling them that they are married just to move out. Its stupid

[@jaclynh9343]

So fucking true, so many equate success to being married, O he has a pulse, great, let's get married... then people stay cause they scared to be single.. or whats it going to look like if they are not anymore... just seems like a damn trend. and then people say I've been married 30 years and wear that like a badge of honor meanwhile they are unhappy or their husband cheating on them...

[@maidavioletaasi80]

They wann flaunt the engagement ring, wedding gown and the event itself. . . . .for the sake of social media.

[@satelahthomas7675]

And to have a wedding

[@jmelanierenee]

A lot of people get married and say “I do” which really means “i’m trying”. And that’s not what “I do” means. Loni makes a good point. You can’t approach marriage as if you can get out of it easily. It’s a long time commitment. Rich or poor, sickness or health, until death. It’s a serious thing. But you can’t “try”. You must simply “do”.

[@kshirley58]

Well said!

[@suwayne]

Thank you 👏🏽

[@PrettyGurl12361]

Jennifer-exactly.

[@wshelby83]

Jennifer you're absolutely right!!

[@emeraldrodgers7550]

OMG!!!!! I SOOOO LOVE THIS COMMENT. I've been saying this for a long time now.

[@TheSweetForever]

I agree with Tamera. There should be boundaries. There is a fine line between working on your marital issues and settling. Sadly, a lot of people settle in these marriages because it’s easier...that’s why they been married so long. I don’t trust no hashtag relationship goals 😂. You never know what is really happening behind the scenes. Even your close family. Be your own example.

[@facethefinance9915]

I think the idea that staying in a marraige that is hard or difficult should be rethought. Many people think of that as settling or an easy option, but actually staying with a husband who hurt you by cheating, sticking through the bad times takes A WHOLE lot of strength and alot of times its easier to quit and get a divorce. Forgiveness and reconciliation is actually one of the most difficult things in life. So i actually commend people who take their vows seriously and with all their strength stay in the marriage. Thats why its so important to be discerning about who you are marrying and about whether you truly believe that you could stay in a marraige through sickness, through down days, weeks, months and maybe even years and love that person unconditionally, not necessarily because they deserve it but because you made a vow and no matter what you will choose to keep your integrity and keep that vow. Period. Thats what marraige and true Love is about. You are truly loving someone whrn its hard.

[@PrettyGurl12361]

The Sweet Forever- then why get married then? You are making a commitment for better or worse.

[@TheSweetForever]

Lovely 111 there is a huge difference between fighting for a marriage and tolerating bs. No one should be disrespected. Personally, I’m not accepting a cheater back into my life. You cheat, there’s the door. You hit me, there’s the door. Anything else, I will go to counseling and fight for. You are talking about settling. I don’t think so. I will never settle. I don’t believe in fighting for garbage. A marriage is about for better or worse but to break those vows by stepping out of your marriage...unacceptable. Bye.

[@TheSweetForever]

Silver H I agree 👏🏾

[@MsOverachiever9513]

@@TheSweetForever I agree with you 100%! I have a zero tolerance policy for cheating and abuse of any kind

[@cookiesncream789]

Long lasting marriage doesn’t mean happy marriage.

[@RashadSims-bh3zz]

Very tru

[@EmotionlessCasket]

My mom acts like she is stuck in her 40 year marriage. My dad had repeatedly hit her, repeatedly cheat on her, he lost his eye sight in a car accident driving home drunk from a bar cheating on her and she STILL stayed. It breaks my heart the way she talks about herself :(

[@malishaguerrier]

All the articles y’all be talking about can y’all put it in the description so we can read too. Some of these are really interesting

[@Anas-rx1he]

They usually say the website (Reddit, Quora, Madame Noir) it’s posted on so if you just throw in keywords and the site name in google search it should hopefully come up

[@malishaguerrier]

Anas true. A direct link can be better but that’s just me being lazy lol

[@lilly304304]

Malisha Guerrier I’m lazy too. I need links.😂

[@kettychhak8090]

I found it: madamenoire.com/1043657/should-we-stop-idolizing-our-grandparents-long-standing-marriages-as-goals/

[@malishaguerrier]

Ketty Chhak 🙌🏾🙌🏾. Life saver lol

[@y0ullneverkn0w]

I actually have to agree with Loni on this one because no relationship will ever be perfect. Marriage means you’re committed to staying together through the ups and downs. Edit - unless they’re being abusive to you. Then definitely leave.

[@theebillionairess3377]

Thank. You

[@lauraswan8647]

But get out if it's abusive

[@dnicole4236]

Laura S yes physically and emotionally!

[@PrettyGurl12361]

Derie102- 100% minus abuse/cheating.

[@theabnormallife]

I will never accept cheating/abuse as an up and down of marriage.

[@ChrissyGotTheCoils]

I would say don't idolize anything at all 🤷🏾‍♀️

[@jaxx2449]

Same god is the only that we should idolize

[@Aja.l_]

Period

[@nkay91]

LOUDER!!

[@hal55984]

I agree!

[@oisin25]

Best comment on here. And I'm 5 months late to the party.

[@AlyssaSaldana1]

My grandparents were married over 40 years. My grandfather cheated multiple times and broke my grandmothers heart, but they stayed together. They had a very emotionally abusive relationship. I even remember during my early childhood how much they used to fight. A lot. Way more than what is considered normal. But they grew up in a time where people didn’t get divorced. People stayed together even if they hated each other’s guts. I’d rather be divorced than stay with someone just for the sake of being married. Even if I have kids with someone, if the marriage is bad I will leave. I wouldn’t want my kids to grow up thinking it’s okay to stay in a toxic and abusive marriage by watching their parents live in one.

[@rachelskipper-horton5507]

I think Loni was kind of missing the point. The point is that we put the longest lasting marriages up on a pedestal as being the goal in relationships, when really they're not always correlated with happiness and in fact sometimes are the cause of a lot of pain and misery. No one is saying that they're inherently bad.

[@tianamiller6820]

Well said

[@clarkclarke]

I don't think Lonnie missed the point at all

[@latriecerivers9397]

I agree with you Rachel, it's sounds as if she's saying that these problems are expected and you just have to live and deal with the B's..forever and if you're not ready to do so then why get married

[@babasolaosikoya5947]

@@latriecerivers9397 no she's saying that there will always be issues no matter what. We are not perfect. As far as it's not abuse. We should be ready for the ups and downs. Even in our personal lives we have both. You should be able to deal with the issues as a team, together.

[@latriecerivers9397]

@@babasolaosikoya5947 so basically expect the B's, and deal with it because no one is perfect but long as he not beating on you y'all good...oh ok like mental and verbal abuse should be expected and accepted , bringing disease's to you, having babies outside ya marriage..etc bwahaha that's right girl...#STANDBYYOURMAN

[@TMTgirl]

Yup. Longevity and quality are 2 different things. I am extremely lucky to say my parents are still together for 46 years, still lots of love. I just happened to be born into it, haven't been able to find anyone in years.

[@PrettyGurl12361]

Tracy- mine too.

[@myassisdragon1558]

Tracy Thompson, 🙌🏼, I love this and I am blessed just as you as far as my parents! They dated for 4 years before they married, were high school sweethearts. We lost my dad but if he were here they would’ve celebrated 42 years of marriage June 11th. My husband and I followed them and are Jr high sweethearts, been together 19 years and on the 28th will celebrate 12 years of marriage...so it happens, not all women/men that have those numbers are there because they are just “sticking” it out❤️

[@myassisdragon1558]

Lovely 111, I love when I find out people are as lucky as I am when it comes to their parents, as you two ladies are❤️❤️

[@TMTgirl]

@Dr. Periwinkle omg, I totally relate!! My Dad is extremely difficult to live up to. #daddysgirl :D

[@Evelyn-vh1ex]

My brother was getting to know a girl seriously and everything was going well, and when they were talking about parents, he mentioned his parents were divorced, and she said her parents didn't approve of her marrying someone whose parents were divorced. I can understand thereis sometimes lingering baggage or trauma that comes with being a kid of divorce... But it's like they didn't consider some people are together for decades and their marriage is broken and their kids have more baggage or trauma than some kids who grew up with divorced parents.

[@allisonn3148]

I agree with both sides! However, not all marriages lasting 30, 40 or 50+ years have all had issues. It’s possible to have a long lasting relationship and not have cheated or been abused mentally or physically. So I’m surprised this conversation was three against one. So if a woman and man shared marriage for 50 years and truly have been in love and were true to their vows, you damn well better think that’s “goals” 👏🏻

[@allisonn3148]

Jamilla Dobson Lol not all people have affairs in their marriages 🙄 that’s just ridiculous to assume

[@allisonn3148]

Jamilla Dobson Most marriages these days have affairs and cheating, I am not naive but not EVERY marriage has infidelities 🙄

[@christinedemeritte6266]

My mom and dad been married for 30 years and Been together for thirty eight years and I've never known my mom or dad to ever cheat on one another yea they still do go through it at times but when you make up in your mind to stick it out good or bad times and there have been some bad times as well as good times you look back at the memories and moments when your spouse silently slip away from you through death how much you loved him and her to stay and share those memories of good and bad times

[@Chaptersaudio]

Amen!!!! I NEVER praise people that have been married a long time. Working for a divorce law firm as long as I did, I saw TONS of these couples that were miserable. Nothing more than roommates. There are couples that haven't LITERALLY touched each other in decades. Many that rarely speak or have real convetsations. Mock me for being single all you want but I am holding out for my best friend and soul mate. I haven't met him yet, but I will. 😘

[@jessicaa5165]

You just described my 70+ year old parents. They live separately together.

[@zaqueenzhane7744]

I disagree 30 year marriages are beautiful and still in love are beautiful I'm with loni gotta take marriage seriously which people today don't thats the issue

[@Angie-nb4pg]

Zaqueen zhane ́ b yes it’s beautiful if they’re still in love but not if they’re just tolerating each other 😐

[@JayneAngelinaSkye]

@@Angie-nb4pg exactlyyyy

[@UrbanDecayLova247]

All T EXACTLY!!! There’s a lot of 30+ marriages where they’re just tolerating a roommate at this point. My friend said her dad straight up told her marriage is overrated and her parents are still married.

[@zaqueenzhane7744]

@@UrbanDecayLova247 well theres more that are still in love so those out weigh those not every one has a crappy marriage hard times dosent equal a bad marriage that's life people

[@UrbanDecayLova247]

Zaqueen zhane ́ b you have no idea what outweighs what, my point is a long marriage does not equal a happy or successful one. PERIOD.

[@carlaeyyy649]

I have never idolized older people's marriages. My own grandparents are married, for decades but my grandfather cheated on her the whole time, has 4 children (that we know of) with 6 mistresses (again that we know of). Yeah you should make it work, but dont constantly take disrespect just to hold on to something with no love.

[@YZ4hunnid]

the difference is your grandfather (likely) did not have mistresses to "disrespect" his wife. men are wired different and it's the hard honest truth. the christian principle of monogamy just isn't realistic and it is a said fact that men bought into that BS. human nature doesn't change.

[@lashondarochell7584]

Some marriages are definitely not goals!😩

[@shenoyaclarke5112]

@@YZ4hunnid once u have any mistress or man at all it's call cheating it's wrong an calls disrespect

[@jmelanierenee]

Y Z please stop talking.

[@jmelanierenee]

Your grandmother should have respected herself enough to leave that instead of allowing it to happen to her. That has more to do with her than him tbh.

[@Onur0547]

I think the world we live in now is faster in every way. Ppl are so easily bored or done with their significant other, because you can find someone so easily, there are dating apps, clubs, bars and social media.

[@juliemarrie4024]

True. I feel social media gives a false glimpse into the eyes of peoples lives. Seeing only what people put out for others to see. Then you end up comparing your reality to others only happy moment pictures.

[@unnderneath]

Yeah people are always looking for the next best thing.

[@sillaleiluar6806]

Preach!

[@amisings3716]

Or people value quality over quantity

[@yoreagba]

I hear Loni though 🤷‍♀️ I understand dealbreakers like abuse/infidelity, but what about a marriage where there has been deceit about finances, or decisions about where to live long term. These can be dealbreakers as well, and for some people they are. But like she said, why get married if you're not ready to commit to that imperfect reality of what your life may turn out to be? It's a risk.

[@Just_janee_]

OmoNaija but you should have them Conversation before marriage

[@aaiish9097]

@@Just_janee_ exactly like how you gonna get married without discussing where you're gonna live or finances or kids? 🤦‍♀️

[@alexismum]

Speaking from knowledge of someone's personal perspective, the conversations were had by both parties. The man started to borrow all his new wife's savings (She paid their 1st rent & bought their gold wedding bands as loans) , had her transfer multiple sums from her earnings to his various business accounts and asked for her ATM pin to carry out transactions. These loans seldom got paid, she became broke and bitter... to cap it all off there's no respect or appreciation for ALL HER sacrifice. She's currently pregnant and the oaf is using a head-in-the-sand approach to avoid paying for the baby things. Is that worth hanging around for or should she make a clean break with the 1 child she can still comfortably care for? Mind you she's communicated her frustrations severally but he just lies to save face🤷‍♀️

[@c.l.1820]

These are conversations you should have prior to marriage.

[@shehasfavour]

The bigger question is, do people want the 'marriage' or the 'wedding' ? Some people only want to get married because others are doing it, or they believe their partner can fix them, or are pressured into it, or because of some false illusion that marriage is all peachy. All that being said, many rush into it without fully knowing their partners or understanding the magnitude of what marriage is and what it entails. This certainly DOES NOT apply to everyone but I have seen it too often nowadays. So before we talk about getting married, we need to understand why we are getting married. Therefore I have to side with Loni on this one. Don't say I do unless you really do understand.

[@BriaBarrows]

true

[@BriaBarrows]

THISSSS. a lot of the young ones too. I'm 24 and my ass aint ready. i take it seriously

[@Thebratzbaby]

I want a long healthy relationship but maan this generation

[@keepintouch101]

In some of these "modern" relationships, women are outearning their men then coming home to do most of the household chores and child-rearing. Those women have to provide for their man and still act subservient.

[@candycrushesit6814]

@Princess Z I totally understand where you're coming from... However, there must be a balance. Women nowadays still uphold A LOT of the stereotypes and stigmas associated with a wife or woman's role. Think about it, we call women upgrades based solely on how they look. We call men a catch based on how well they can provide and their willingness to be a family man... A woman is still judged by her intangibles while men are judged by actual accomplishments. Most men will not raise the children, clean the home, and feed it... It's sad because the children are suffering. I went to a daycare for a tour and the care giver said that most of the children are potty trained ONLY while they're in their care... Why? Because both mom and dad are too busy working to care about those things. It's sad.

[@myhextixmind8632]

I've seen this first hand!!!

[@TRINI818]

Those women should talk to their husbands about household chores, that's not a marriage problem, that's a wife problem. And the economy has a lot to do with men not making enough money. It's not like how it was twenty something years ago, it use to be that men don't have a job, now that men are working, there not making enough?

[@TRINI818]

@Dr. Periwinkle Women working has always been a great thing. But people telling you “now you work but you still do most of the household work", ask yourself this? Why you think you do more of the household chores? Because of societal ? or because you allowed your man/husband to say this is how it goes. Does societal make women do more house work and men lazy. If you feel your getting the short end of the stick at home, then that's a issue you have to take up with your partner, sit them down and negotiate what you would like more help of. And a side note, nobody talks about the work is done outside of the house, which is traditional done by men. I don't hear people saying to men "now you work but you still do all the work outside of the house"

[@TRINI818]

@Dr. Periwinkle Being peer pressured is something you got to deal with. But don't blame society for a lazy husband or a ungrateful wife. Communication is everything. If he or she is not doing their part at home, should their answer be "Well I'm being pressured from society, so I'll just continue to sit on this couch and watch TV, while you do everything"

[@Jls79773]

The sad part is that we women really try to work to keep our family together at the expense of our happiness. We truly need to wake up and put ourselves first.

[@BijinMCMXC]

Jess L We need to find men who put us first

[@BeautifulDelights951]

We need to put God first.

[@osimeon00]

Don't get married if you want to put yourself first. There is no independence or selfishness in marriage.

[@ogenesis]

@@osimeon00 Exactly! You are supposed to become one! The vows say they're promising to this person and GOD that you will be with them through the bad times, poor times, sick times. If it was easy then there would be no need to take the vows. Did you know that divorce is the only thing in the bible that God actually says he hates. Like literally in red? I think so many women nowadays are like, well if I'm not enjoying this then I'm sure god understands. Not everything is about how much you enjoy it. I mean, kids are going to be a hassle, tough, money strain but you shouldn't just abandon your kids if you're not having fun anymore.. I just dont think people are actually paying attention to the words and swears and vows they make to GOD. I think it's like a play to them, or just a nice little tradition. If you know that you're going to leave your wife or husband when things get to bad....why promise GOD that you wont? I just dont get it.

[@c.l.1820]

YOU should not get married at all if you put your needs FIRST.

[@kianah544]

I’m with Tamera on this one. 💆🏾‍♀️ Honestly, the way I see it, who cares if you’ve been married for 30 years if you’ve been miserable for 29 of them? We usually only call divorces this, but in my eyes a miserable marriage is a failed one too. And I don’t think the point is that we don’t care about or value long marriages, I think the topic was more so that we shouldn’t idolize those marriages *just because* they’re long. Because that’s not really an indication of a healthy relationship. Someone says they’ve been married 30-40 years and it’s automatically assumed that that means it’s been a successful marriage and that’s simply not always true. It could just be a reflection of how much they were willing to put up with or how dependent the wife unfortunately was on her husband that she couldn’t leave.

[@allyshaw]

*Preeeeeaaaaach, Loni!* Marriage is hard work and people don’t want to power through the seasons of struggle when they can simply get a divorce

[@c.l.1820]

👏👏👏👏👏

[@LovelyTranquility]

I agree with Loni that there are some people who treat marriage too leisurely. However, the majority of these long-term marriages have included infidelity, disrespect, and abuse towards the women in these marriages. That was heavily present in the past decades and is still residual today. It's hard to look past that when you look at these "long-term" relationships.

[@annaalton2399]

My grandparents were married for 65 years before my grandpa passed away in December 2018. They were truly a happy couple in a healthy relationship and everyone knew that of course they had there ups and downs though!

[@lisaoquendo3023]

Marriage is a very sacred and serious union between a man and a woman, it is an example of the Gospel, the unconditional sacrificial love of Christ. I'm 32 and my husband is 36 we have been married for 14yrs❤

[@armentablessed7381]

I agree with Jeannie I idolize healthy relationships. But long relationships are goals bc it shows commitment to the vows & commitment to the partner, & to God! Lets not forget God.

[@Onur0547]

I love that they keep videos coming while on hiatus.

[@vanessamtakula99]

Onur Bb what do you mean?

[@Onur0547]

@@vanessamtakula99 I mean that they keep uploading new videos. Because they are now on summer vacation. They are returning with the new season in september.

[@YazMixtaah]

@@Onur0547 Oh how do you know this ?

[@quionaclark4759]

When will we realize Marriage is literally nothing but legally committing to that person. NOTHING about your relationship should change once you sign those papers. Commit fully to your lover without a government contract.

[@sherrig6712]

Wouldn’t say idolize I would say respect, admire and or look up too

[@jt3188]

👀 lol you just explained the basics of idolise

[@clairemarie795]

Jen D LMAO! That person straight up used synonyms of the word idolize! 😂 I’m dead as hell. No shade @daughter of a king. You just made me laugh

[@sherrig6712]

Life Be Too Short 😂 My bad, well they should have used a better synonym for the title I feel like idolize has to much weight on it, that was all I meant

[@clairemarie795]

DAUGHTER OF A KING oh okay I get you ✊🏽

[@poppyseed1058]

Our grandmas looked at marriage through the eyes of misogyny and only stayed in their marriages because of tradition and what they *thought* they deserved

[@poppyseed1058]

Of course not ALL just a vast majority 🤷🏾‍♀️

[@juliannesharpe278]

To some extent!

[@myhextixmind8632]

Or because they needed the financial support. Women couldn't even have bank accounts on their own until like the 70s. A lot of women stayed because they *couldn't* leave.

[@poppyseed1058]

90sAreTheBest exactly, because of misogyny

[@ogenesis]

@@poppyseed1058 But at the same time men were expected to go fight and die in wars, do hard manual labor in the rain or heat and if anything goes bad in the household, people at the man. Its different standards for men, even today you see so many homeless men and only a few homeless women because people have different expectations for men. So things were not a lovely rainbow for men. I wonder if women would be okay if they got out and worked and the main did the cleaning and took care of the kids or how many women would demand their husbands get out and work. Different expectations. There were a lot of wards in the past 2 hundred years and young boys and men had to fight in all of them, just dont think that it was so great for men.

[@nunyabizness3382]

Sadly God has been removed from many marriages.

[@rocklesson86]

GOD was never intended to be a part of a marriage.

[@nunyabizness3382]

rocklesson86 obviously you are ignorant of the bible. That is clearly the dumbest thing I've heard in days. God created man and woman and said it was not good for man to be alone. I feel sorry for you. Would love to know where you gathered that knowledge and how you came to that conclusion...

[@BeautifulDelights951]

Exactly. Marriage is a big thing in the Bible and therefore a big part of bringing God into the marriage.

[@nunyabizness3382]

Hardeep Bhambra clearly establishes the roles a d expectations for both man and woman. Good stuff

[@BeautifulDelights951]

@@nunyabizness3382 yes it makes sense.

[@LadyRolle1]

Audience member in the pink looks like a older version of Loni to me 0:53

[@SpikeWillDo]

lol yes she does

[@cassie9147]

😂

[@shekibaaa]

I had to run to the comments just to see if anyone else caught that Lol

[@YazMixtaah]

LOOL how did you even notice that

[@BlaqueCute29]

Yasssss

[@MG-gr2hn]

yes marriage means you’re committed to staying together through ups and downs but it depends on what kind of “downs” they’re or one of them is going through

[@ogenesis]

But why take the vows then? Thats what I dont get. The vows say they're promising to this person and GOD that you will be with them through the bad times, poor times, sick times. If it was easy then there would be no need to take the vows. Did you know that divorce is the only thing in the bible that God actually says he hates. Like literally in red? I think so many women nowadays are like, well if I'm not enjoying this then I'm sure god understands. Not everything is about how much you enjoy it. I mean, kids are going to be a hassle, tough, money strain but you shouldn't just abandon your kids if you're not having fun anymore.. I just dont think people are actually paying attention to the words and swears and vows they make to GOD. I think it's like a play to them, or just a nice little tradition. If you know that you're going to leave your wife or husband when things get to bad....why promise GOD that you wont? I just dont get it.

[@1234ilovetaylorswift]

i think we just need to stop idolizing humans all together

[@angeliaimeanttoloveyouharr8404]

miamour123 right

[@Zoe7ww]

The ladies aren’t saying it isn’t beautiful to be married for 30, 40, 50 years like Loni is sort of insinuating...I think the point is that sometimes in those marriages the husband and wife don’t even love each other anymore, they just stay out of comfort, security, familiarity, etc. There are people that have been married that long that live in the same house but barely communicate, (prob make each other’s lives a living hell), let alone love each other. There’s nothing more beautiful than a long lasting marriage between two people that still share a love and bond. But not all long marriages are picture perfect, they just stay because it’s easier.

[@ogenesis]

But why take the vows then? Thats what I dont get. The vows say they're promising to this person and GOD that you will be with them through the bad times, poor times, sick times. If it was easy then there would be no need to take the vows. Did you know that divorce is the only thing in the bible that God actually says he hates. Like literally in red? I think so many women nowadays are like, well if I'm not enjoying this then I'm sure god understands. Not everything is about how much you enjoy it. I mean, kids are going to be a hassle, tough, money strain but you shouldn't just abandon your kids if you're not having fun anymore.. I just dont think people are actually paying attention to the words and swears and vows they make to GOD. I think it's like a play to them, or just a nice little tradition. If you know that you're going to leave your wife or husband when things get to bad....why promise GOD that you wont? I just dont get it. You do not take vows for things that are easy. Its like if you're a drug addict and you make a vow to GOD not to go back to drugs. You take vows for things that are hard.

[@shekibaaa]

Quality over quantity. You can be with someone for years, but the quality of the relationship is more important than the number of years a couple is together. People change and relationships change, I will definitely not stick around if my relationship is falling apart and if I'm not happy.

[@death24314]

then don't get married

[@familyovereverything1819]

I’ve been married 23 years and I am happy i stuck it out we went through a rollercoaster ride but when its finally over u can look back over everything n think everyone should take marriage seriously n shouldn’t b trying to taste all the flavors..this new generation has NO respect for no one🙄

[@IS33U]

People are approaching marriage like it's a Netflix membership....smh

[@MA-yc7pz]

I agree with Lony her perspective is more Christian view than the ones who claim to be christian

[@BijinMCMXC]

BANGTANFM Right she didn’t get the main idea of the discussion lol

[@ogenesis]

No, I think she did get the point of it. I think that just so many people dont get the point of the Vows to GOD. Like why take the vows then? Thats what I dont get. The vows say they're promising to this person and GOD that you will be with them through the bad times, poor times, sick times. If it was easy then there would be no need to take the vows. Did you know that divorce is the only thing in the bible that God actually says he hates. Like literally in red? I think so many women nowadays are like, well if I'm not enjoying this then I'm sure god understands. Not everything is about how much you enjoy it. I mean, kids are going to be a hassle, tough, money strain but you shouldn't just abandon your kids if you're not having fun anymore.. I just dont think people are actually paying attention to the words and swears and vows they make to GOD. I think it's like a play to them, or just a nice little tradition. If you know that you're going to leave your wife or husband when things get to bad....why promise GOD that you wont? I just dont get it. You dont take vows for things that are easy, you never hear anyone taking a vow to enjoy themselves a disney world. You see people, for example like a drug addict who may vow to God to never use drugs again. You take vows for things that are HARD,. So anyone saying....its about MY happiness or I'm not attracted to this person anymore. God says in the bible so clearly how he feels about this., even Jesus Christ talked about this. One of his disciples brought this up, about what if the marriage is going bad and it ended with the disciple saying, gee I guess it's better to just not get married at all.

[@NicoleReign]

I see where they are coming from, but you can't just assume because a couple has been together forever that the couple is unhappy. You don't know how they feel, maybe they love their partner and their marriage.

[@miriammyrsiades7932]

I agree with Loni. I’ve been married for 16 years and my husband and I WANT and are trying to stay together till we die ❤️

[@jayjanzee9059]

I definitely agree with Loni. Divorce shouldn't be an option

[@JohnneseP]

I agree with all of them especially Tam Tam. I think we are so focused on the length of the marriage but we forget to think about how each couple made it to that specific year. What trials and tribulations did they go through to make it to that 45 or whatever anniversary. Not every marriage is perfect and we have to stop idolizing marriages from the outside without knowing what's going on on the inside.

[@ogenesis]

But why take the vows then? Thats what I dont get. The vows say they're promising to this person and GOD that you will be with them through the bad times, poor times, sick times. If it was easy then there would be no need to take the vows. Did you know that divorce is the only thing in the bible that God actually says he hates. Like literally in red? I think so many women nowadays are like, well if I'm not enjoying this then I'm sure god understands. Not everything is about how much you enjoy it. I mean, kids are going to be a hassle, tough, money strain but you shouldn't just abandon your kids if you're not having fun anymore.. I just dont think people are actually paying attention to the words and swears and vows they make to GOD. I think it's like a play to them, or just a nice little tradition. If you know that you're going to leave your wife or husband when things get to bad....why promise GOD that you wont? I just dont get it. You seem to already know that if things get real tough in your marriage that youre gone. So why take the vows? Obviously its up to you but no one is forcing you to take the vows to God. Like I said, it was never meant to be easy. If it was then there . would. be . no . need. to. have . to promise. to GOD.

[@JohnneseP]

@@ogenesis First off why did you just single out women, when you stated that if things get bad they will up and leave? Secondly I believe that marriage SHOULD last forever til death do us part HOWEVER if my marriage at any point got to the place where God forbid it became mentally and physically unhealthy for me to be in that situation then I would pack up and leave. Also it's not about abandoning your kids; no parent wants to abandon their child however we you allow your child to see you in a toxic situation and think that it's okay to live like that... no. I agree that not everything in live will be enjoyable but I would hope that my life with the partner I said "I do" to would make sure my life is as enjoyable as it could be. God did say He hates divorce but at the same time I for one do not believe that He wants to see His child suffering in a situation that you can get yourself out of. He gave us common sense for a reason. Lastly I 110% believe that no one should go into a marriage thinking that "hey if things don't work out I can get a divorce and start over", you should walk into a marriage with the full intent of staying with that person until you die, but at the end of the day SOME instances warrants for divorce and by all means I believe you should file.

[@roenaskates5485]

Well my Mother did not Work and my Father took out his $20 and handed his paycheck to his Wife and we lived good! A babysitter did not raise us and we had three home cooked meals a day and my Mother combed our hair and taught us like a School Teacher!

[@youngflex229]

Not everybody is miserable in their marriages,stop projecting.

[@Jo_So_Random]

Right!

[@mandykaps1860]

Most people are miserable. Sometimes you just don't see it.

[@indiaxlovee]

mandy kaps maybe you’re surrounded by negativity

[@indiaxlovee]

Sippy Sweetcheeks amen

[@elizabethcalderon8490]

Loni was shady AF knowin damn well what Jeannie went through ...people can change and outgrow eachother. Thank God Tam stepped in 👏👏👏 she always has good advice

[@il8331]

My grandparents relationship survived being apart in a war it survived when their child got hit by a drunk driver and it survived when their child became a vegetable. It survived when my grandma got cancer and past away from it. Even then my grandfather on his last breath from Alzheimer's said I finally will be able to be dancing with my Josephine. So yes I will FOREVER look up to my grandparents relationship they went through so much and more then this and where so happy and in love with each other. They told me the key was to never give up and always respect each other. Now a days people don't understand that. There's no shame in looking up to old school ways.

[@Optimism211]

Loni kills me with this quiet act during every segment, only to play devils advocate

[@candi7806]

Dang loni. I dont allways agree with her perspectives but she got a whole round of applause from me on thise one. 👏. More like standing ovation 😊

[@loveystar78cloud46]

I'm with Loni, people are taking marriage way too lightly nowadays. They have no patience for growth, their own or their partner's. People have lofty ideals of what it's going to be like and want to get divorced when the reality of marriage sets in. For better or for worse has been replaced with, "till one of us gets tired," which means you already don't have the wind for this. And if that's the case stay single. There is no shame in it.

[@theresastyers3619]

Loni 💯 I've been with my husband for 19 years..u go threw rough times but if u love each other and and they are like ur best friend u can make it work.. don't walk if things get tough, walk if ur not being loved or respected.

[@shocomoco1867]

I agree with loni. You got fix it and not throw it away. ( we ain't talking about abuse and serious matters) and i do look up to long standing marriages. It's something i want in my life.

[@Renee302976]

Totally disagree with Loni on this one. Tamera was definitely on point 👌🏽😊

[@Jessica-ej1xe]

I agree with Loni. You sometimes go through the difficulties to get to the best part.

[@deem132]

Idolize healthy relationships not long lasting ones, amen to that!

[@JuiceJ443]

Deal Breaker, cheating and having a baby with someone while married to me. I think that’s sick and toxic and the relationship would never be the same.

[@Grettiz]

I Think its a beautiful thing to be married for so Long.. My grandparents have been married for 66 years now, and they are still as happy as can be😁 ❤

[@KADOriginal]

Long relationships are good as long as they’re healthy. Don’t stay in a relationship if you’re gonna keep getting cheated on, lied to, abused, etc. But then there’s also , “til death do us part” so in that case, don’t rush it

[@msme5104]

Sometimes its hard to tell if Loni always disagree with everyone because she's older and not AS open minded or if she justs likes the attention on herself.

[@JustSheaShea]

My grandparents were together for 42 years. My grandpa did drugs, emotionally neglected his child and gave my grandma STDs. He went to jail for a period of time and was never the breadwinner. My grandma had 2 college degrees and took care of my grandpa through kidney disease and died before him. She spent her best years, from age 16-58, overall miserable and I feel like she never had the chance to live life to the fullest.

[@jessielynn]

When we see 40 and 50 year marriages and say “goals” it’s implied we mean a healthy 40-50 years. Not years of abusive and disrespect. It’s perfectly acceptable to look up to long marriages. Why do people feel the need to find the negative in everything?

[@omopapa]

Yes it is implied. However, implications don't always reflect reality. It's critical that this discussion is had before people make the commitment of marriage to each other.

[@bookbag6432]

I think it depends on your experience. My parents and grandparents have been happily together for decades. And you KNOW when someone is happy as a child growing up with them and when they are not. But there are also a lot of kids from f-ed up marriages who thinks every marriage is like that. Neither is the case but nothing wrong with wanting a long lasting relationships. I think MOST people in marriages are happy and it says something about commitment. Not everyone who has been in their jobs for 20 years are happy but MOST are and they are comfortable with staying in that position.

[@moderatelybasiccc3735]

I don’t know man. I think the part of elderly couples that’s #goals is that they didn’t leave when time’s get tough. When they said ‘Til death do us part’ they meant it. Divorce is too easy of a way out. I agreed with Loni 10000%

[@beinggabbi2758]

I'm 26 my husband and I have been together going on 8 years and married for 4 going on 5 in August with forever more to go ♥️

[@blackcoffee9470]

When Loni keeps quiet when everyone one is bickering, you know she's about to drop some bars.

[@TAMANDJON]

😂😂😂

[@meadomenica4175]

I agree with Loni what’s the sense of vows if you are not in it forever! Well said! I agree. I also agree with Tamara if your man hits you.. It’s time to get out for sure. Maybe it is just me: I guess in my life the couples I knew who were married 30, 40 50 plus years were very happy and very much I love. The thing is Marriage does not end with happily every after, there is work and sacrifice to keep the love, the family, and happiness together.

[@Lolee56]

Got married at 19 and I’m going into 3 years of marriage so far ♥️ looking forward to our family’s progression as the years go by! I have triplets babies so I have to be a stay at home mom LOL I would die omg, my husband is definitely the bread winner, but I did go to school so if I needed to get a job I can

[@Anna-qq2df]

I love Loni's take on this topic!

[@gmedia-tv5069]

75% of comments sides with Lonnie love me included “so I take it her point stands out”

[@majestic6303]

Loni talks sense even though she never been traditionally married. Only very short Las Vegas marriage. Nobody really knows what the vows mean.

[@JasmineJones-wh1tv]

It's also important to understand people these days are getting married later in life. Therefore, their marriages may be shorter because they didn't get married until 30, 35, 40.

[@PHE4_]

HEALTHY LOVING marriages should be our goal! I agree. Say no to idolising Hollywood marriages And abusive relationships! I also think you shouldn’t marry someone though unless you are aiming for life together.

[@sunshinetoday7]

Yesss Loni!! Thank you girl! Speak truth! 💗

[@arianakefu]

I agree with Loni 100%

[@nfvy8111]

THE WOMAN IN PINK AT 0:52.....OMG I THOUGHT LONI TELEPORTED TO THE AUDIENCE FOR A SECOND

[@francescadeyo7045]

Loni hit the nail on the head, people DO NOT take marriage and their vows seriously nowadays and see it as a job they take and if they dont like it they can quit tomorrow

[@kshirley58]

Agree with Loni 💯

[@detectivehawk4976]

@0:52 the lady looks SOOO MUCH like Lonnie. I wonder if they are related ?

[@nazifah5399]

OMG someone else realized! I was so confused, like why is Loni 30 years in the future sitting in the audience??!!!!!

[@GE-lh8eq]

That’s what I was thinking !

[@as19J01]

My sociology teacher once told us that love and marriage is no longer the same but has become a "til further notice" thing. I think I agree with him

[@daviaatl]

I’m glad Loni brought that conversation back around. It is a beautiful thing to stay in a commitment with someone for that long. Not every single relationship involves cheating and betrayal. They were up there acting like all long marriages involve BS when that isn’t the case. Loni is just saying there is value in honoring that commitment you make!

[@alexandrak4180]

Loni is always quite but when she's gotta say something she's usually making one of the best point on the table

[@deborahakoshile9421]

I agree with Loni. Why are you in it if you don't want to be with that person forever

[@cascabeles1]

What Loni said is truth! So many getting married for the WRONG REASONS to the WRONG PERSON.Be brave enough to wait until you understand what it really means. Society can treat marriage flippantly, but a broken heart is no nothing to take lightly.

[@XxSmartiesxX_]

I refuse to be mistreated in a relationship. No rolling stone husband with kids ousted the marriage, casual disrespect, violence , etc. I’m out.

[@NilsonsEra]

I think it’s true yall don’t know the journey and what they had to do to keep their marriage together but also the way this generation I’m we idolise the media opinion of our lives for no reason

[@theebillionairess3377]

👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽 couldn't have said it better myself

[@NilsonsEra]

Jochebed Sule thank you ❤️

[@tiinaiiceey]

Lady in the pink blouse at 52 seconds could pass as lonis mom

[@AshleyMorgan]

I have people in my family that have been married for 20-45 years and I idolize none of them because they aren’t healthy. If there isn’t cheating there’s abuse, if there’s not abuse there’s narcissism, if it’s not that it’s one person taking advantage of the other. If nothing else these marriages have taught me everything I don’t want. I don’t want to only have longevity I am looking someone who has respect, is loyal, honest, and ambitious aside from other things. Staying in a toxic relation isn’t worth saying you’ve been together for 30+ years

[@christinaakman7791]

My OMA and OPA were married from the time they were 16 &17 they built a home and a life in Germany then came over here and continued building my OPA passed away in 89 and my OMA stayed alive until 05 my great grandparents were and always will be my couple goals they survived war(s) and brought 9 children over from the Ukraine on a boat to new York and continued being together until he passed away they are now together in passing and I can only hope I find a man that looks at me like OPA looked at OMA

[@juliemarrie4024]

You know Adrian did not know what resiprocity was before this😄

[@MrsSonyaKS]

*Reciprocity😉, but you're right - Adrienne didn't (doesn't) know.

[@juliemarrie4024]

@@MrsSonyaKS yes that's what I meant! 😄

[@Kimsegel]

Ok so only Loni seems to understand what “I do” means😳😳

[@LorenaFlag]

Yesssss. My grandparents stayed for more than 50 years of marriage BUT then i found out that when my granda cheated 🙄 and had a child with another person 🤨🤨🤨... my grandma wanted to leave and went to her mom's house. She told her "you have to go back to your husband and suck it up". That is HORRIBLE. 😔 So... whatever 50 years, she must have been so trapped 😖 Poor grandma.

[@djstuntfox]

While I'm in a committed and happy relationship, I'm not sure if I'll ever want marriage. I'm 100% committed to my man, but there is something about marriage that turns me off. It could be that I rebel against any kind of tradition.