Patton Oswalt: Grieving In Public Is Therapeutic

[@KhalidAbdullahMaroonSand]

[Grief] can't be remedied, it must be endured. and it's the endurance that, weirdly enough, becomes the remedy my heart needed that

[@lucyhellbroke]

Yes. Juat... yes. Me too. Everyone too.

[@marj5230]

Everytime I hear Patton talking about his grief, I always tear up. This man is a legend, he's dealing with so much but he still manages to make everyone laugh

[@knifeyonline]

but that's part of how he deals with it ^_^

[@cycleforwardtime]

My wife died in 2006 and I still cry when I think about losing her. I have great memories of her that give me strength, but losing her destroyed me.

[@knifeyonline]

it didn't destroy you, it changed you. you're not gone, you're different.

[@cycleforwardtime]

Yeah, but even now that response infuriates me and I understand it's about my loss not you. Yeah I wanted to die, it destroyed me and I was reborn as someone who wants to die. Yeah it's that deep.

[@knifeyonline]

cycleforwardtime there is a reason God says give thanks in all things. It's not about who we're thanking, it's about the act of us giving thanks. When you are thankful, you're content, when you're content you can not hold on to grief and anger.

[@cycleforwardtime]

Joseph Stott Sell that to someone who is buying that is not me. That is not even an answer that makes any kind of sense when you lose someone you loved more than life. In fact it is insulting. You need to back off. Seriously forget saying anything else or proceed at your own risk.

[@cycleforwardtime]

Joseph Stott I believe in God and love him and i know he saved my life. if I had listened to or talked to someone like YOU I would be dead and gone. take that for what it is worth.

[@chukabucka]

patton is an exemplary husband, father and a very emotionally evolved man ... I wish him contunued strength.

[@alexandermcauliffe5870]

He is my strength. I'm in recovery and he has been the thread that holds my girl and I together. Fuck yeah. This man has played a part in saving my life.

[@chukabucka]

@@alexandermcauliffe5870 wow! How wonderful to know ❣💫💫💫

[@Rilven]

This is a beautiful sentiment Unfortunately now Patton is forced to now throw a ballon full of piss into every candle store in America

[@johnjoe2946]

Amen

[@johnjoe2946]

@@alexandermcauliffe5870 love that, man. I wish you and your partner well

[@themripley]

I know when Stephen was 10 he lost his Dad and 2 brothers in an airplane crash so he also must have struggled through grief. 2 lovely men who are gifts to the world.

[@jayvir6]

He lost his mother fairly recently too. I remember watching the Colbert Report when that happened. It was unreal to see Stephen out of character like that. Chilling.

[@etherspin]

Oh wow I had no idea about that - that gives this a long more context thank you. hope these nice men deeply heal and have more light in their lives from all the good people around them

[@shack8110]

Patton is a kind and funny man, and it's heartbreaking that he lost his wife and his young daughter lost her mother. Also, Donald Trump is not a racist, and yes it is great that America has a President who doesn't use meaningless politically correct terms. The economy is roaring, taxes have been cut, immigration is being enforced, trade deals renegotiated, etc. These things would not have happened if Hillary was President, and the people that want those things are not assholes, or racists, or NAZIs, etc. etc. It's just a disagreement, no reason for hatred.

[@JamieRobles1]

@@shack8110 no, his policies are just killing/ traumatizing Central American children.

[@shack8110]

XD Ok I forgot about the child murder.

[@fancyramen5868]

I lost my father to suicide 5 months ago. The grief is overwhelming at times. Thank you for the advice Patton

[@mdanielson6301]

you're going to be okay

[@saimcheeda93]

I imagine he was depressed. That's one terrible thing to go through.

[@AriJeru]

I'm so sorry. I hope you're getting all the love and support you need at this time.

[@knifeyonline]

How old was he?

[@squanchy666]

sorry to hear it, friend

[@kevinjames2235]

"There is life at either sides of loss." That is a beautiful perspective on grief.

[@chickadee677]

Wow. My parents died in a car crash a couple of years ago now, then, last year my fiancee died of lung cancer and my sister died of breast cancer. I'm 23 and feel so lost. I finally figured out that when the tsunamis of grief wash over me, I have to stop everything I'm doing, close my eyes, feel it, and take deep breaths into it. Soon, it dissipates and begins to melt away like snow.

[@ilangilang7185]

chickadee that's so horrible. I can't even imagine. I hope you the best and stay strong.

[@brandonwright1414]

Shit. Damn, man. That's terrible. I wish you all the best and keep moving forward.

[@jordanf8326]

Shut up. Nobody cares about your bullshit.

[@chickadee677]

Jordan F Well actually there might be someone who does. Hearing how Patton copes with his loss, helps me. The same might be true for somebody hearing how I cope with mine, could help them as well.

[@jordanf8326]

***** Patton killed his wife, he has no right to grieve

[@StevenKaneCo]

There was a solid minute of quotes and sound bites surrounding grief and remedy. And.... I loved it. What another beautiful interview.

[@davemathewsrocks]

so true - am sure this would have helped people with similar griefs

[@liamburke7647]

Steven Kane

[@KTGetc]

I'm so glad that this hasn't destroyed Patton. It would destroy me. I'm glad he's there for Alice and Alice is a light for him. And I'm glad Stephen didn't back off the subject like most do - he knows about grief, and he knows it needs to be normalized so people can see they're not alone in that pain.

[@womaninread4158]

Beautiful human being.

[@SoaringTrumpet]

Beautiful man, and beautiful approach to dealing with his grief. Thanks for sharing this publicly, Patton; I guarantee you're helping more people than you probably realize with your insight and openness!

[@callslightning]

Yes, so wonderful to see this. And I can attest that he is so right about grief taking on its own life and entrenching itself if you don't face it and talk about it.

[@CalifGirl09]

Oswalt says, "If you are laughing at what is terrifying you, then it takes all its stregnth away. " Very wise words, in my opinion.

[@nickidaisydandelion4044]

That is wonderfully convenient to say for a psychopath.

[@isaacthefallenapple15]

I super duper love Patton Oswalt, and wish him all the best, he really seems to deserve it.

[@ArdalanHamann]

Now that's what I call a solid late show conversation Absolutely professional with smooth dramatic transition

[@QberryShortcake]

I lost my daughter to a preterm birth at 23 weeks last July. This past week I've been stuck reliving my moments with her. I think getting out of my own head is exactly what I need.

[@etherspin]

our minds are great gifts when they allow us to lead full lives and connect to those around us, in turn supporting them and absorbing the love they have for us - yes I hope you can be surrounded by love and that it makes life good for you - I am so sorry for what you have had to go through thus far - all the best to you

[@jadeb3284]

I've always been blown away by how well spoken Patton is.

[@gollypo448]

It's been six years since I lost my wife and I still find it really hard to talk about in any depth.

[@michellecasto3839]

Golly Po sorry for your loss. I hope you find comfort in hearing others experiences, though no one would wish it on anyone.

[@spongebobmx]

I think your grief has become awfully comfortable around you. It is an incredible shadow hovering around you and taking every single piece of light inside of you. Grab the flashlight with full force, and light it. Talk about it in a safe place. Go see a therapist in private, talk about how you feel today and how you have felt. Dig deeper and deeper each time, until you get tired of talking about it. ANd then, and only then, your grief will have no place to hide. And you'll start enjoying a little bit. Your morning coffee will start to taste a little better. The sun will feel much warmer for a little bit. You'll find things that make you smile randomly. And the beginning of a new beautiful era in your life will soon begin. Don't make grief take the best of you. You deserve love, happiness, and the world deserves you to stay connected with the primary energy of love that keeps the whole UNiverse Together. IN the war against grief, you are not alone. Rise up, warrior! Regards

[@justindickery5037]

I'm sorry for your loss buddy and hope you can eventually find peace in your heart. Take care of yourself

[@tvtitlechampion3238]

How do you talk about the abyss? You can't see the landmarks to navigate because of the darkness, so you have to manufacture some to hold on while some of the storm dissipates. Things do get alleviated, but it takes as long as it takes to get out from under.

[@MrKimSays]

Oswalt is the man! Stay strong my friend.

[@IvanTheTerrible77]

everytime I hear Patton talking about his wife is getting sad and teary-eyed. He is a great father and human being. Stay strong Patton and keep on laughing.

[@riparianlife97701]

So much love for this man. When I heard that he lost Michelle, I felt it like a punch in the gut. He's given me so much, all I can think of is how I wish I could give back to him.

[@cookiesncream789]

I used to watch him on King of Queens and I loved him as Remy in Ratatouille. This interview was so heartfelt and real. What an incredible and courageous human being for being open about all he's been through.

[@TuskTheRipper96]

cookiesncream789 I was little when that show first aired. I used to watch it with my grandpa & my grandma. When he died I'd come over and watch re-runs with her to make her feel better and less alone. She passed in August 2015, the week before her birthday, a couple months after my high school graduation. So now I just watch re-runs because of the memories. My favorite is when Arthur is addicted to Afrin.

[@karandex]

My god, how good is Stephen. He quickly judged the room that people are laughing and gone straight to the point.

[@user-uz4cc6qz1q]

"If you can mock it, you can manage it" 4:53 Those words are also very true for anxiety, it helped me to get rid of my panic attacks. First I acknowledged it, then I accepted it and then I mocked it. I guess grief is in its own way a form of anxiety.

[@andreachung396]

They definitely feed into each other!

[@GibbonStreet]

All the love to Patton.

[@ViperRob]

Thank you, Patton! By being open, you're helping many, MANY others. It means so much to many of us. Best wishes buddy!

[@AGirlCalledLevi]

Damn it, Patton is such a beautiful person. I just adore that man.

[@PoseidonXIII]

Very insightful interview between two men who have lost so much and yet still can find so much joy in the world.

[@hollywhite8368]

What a lovely, sensitive conversation.

[@alwaysamy4]

I love the way Patton is talking about his grief publicly. I found that it IS very therapeutic.

[@tracer740]

I have to admit that it certainly is for myself, ... personally.

[@BigFella2769]

Patton Oswalt is an amazing actor/comedian. Im happy to see him taking a chance returning to his comedy career.

[@conorbowen3360]

what a great interview, two incredibly compassionate and empathetic human beings

[@Ryan-re7oj]

I lost my wife in 2013. Everytime Patton speaks his words encapsulate my emotions to the tea! Ty Mr. Oswalt for your comedy and wisdom!

[@devinhazard5877]

He is amazing. This brought me to tears. Having lost my big brother and my best friend and my uncle and 8 friends in between 2011-2020 this speaks to me. Call me a douche but it does. I can see it in his eyes. I wish this never happened to him.

[@lucyk2371]

I think no one understands this better than Stephen. He is so great.

[@bigdaddybaltimore]

It doesnt matter what tragedy he goes through, he simple can't help but make people laugh. Stay strong Patton.

[@aliensarerealancient]

An incredible man! Both of them actually, great people!

[@igorwaite3085]

I can't believe that people would dislike this interview.

[@WickerMan504]

This is perhaps the best interview on late night television that I've ever seen. Stephen is a true talent, and Patton is an amazing man.

[@lady-killer9275]

Recently lost my best friend to a massive aneurism a little more than 5 weeks ago... I haven't experienced grief like this in my whole life, so I've only been trying to handle it the way my friend would have wanted. This interview was a great reminder to stay strong, for me and all people who experience loss

[@mikehattias5837]

Thank you Stephen and Patton for this beautiful interview. You guys are immense inspirations to me.

[@imDrew21]

Love this so hard. Both these men are gifts to humanity. Not like they're perfect, but I've loved so much of what they've had to say very often.

[@caejacks]

the genuine look of gratitude on patton's face at 9:13 got me. what a solid dude.

[@charlesross9365]

I don't always watch Stephen's interviews, but he really has an incredible talent for it.

[@thecalmbro]

Patton Oswalt has made me cry laughing, easily one of my favorite comedians and I was heartbroken when I heard the news, and I am so proud of him for handling this so well and STILL being able to make me laugh. I have absolutely nothing but respect for him. that and admiration.

[@milaszczecina5553]

sho..this is incredible...grief can't be fixed it can only be endured

[@Ashtarte3D]

Glad to see Patton finally coming back and doing shows, also really glad Stephen handled the interview with such grace.

[@shaneaustin6754]

I'm not religious but thank God for these two individuals.

[@jandreid1056]

Neither is Patton I believe, and it's a far, far devastating thing to experience because suffering the loss of a loved one and enduring the grief and sorrow without the optimistic hope of a higher power really puts into perspective how strong Patton is to endure such a tragedy.

[@captaindaddy4991]

Even in grief, he delivers the best definition of trumps mind that I have heard. Patton is my Carson.

[@CNWhatImSaiyan]

Ben or Johnny?

[@goldecinematics]

I just lost my best friend and business partner of 5 years to a fatal accident. I needed this.

[@adamsc8831]

The more I see of Patton, the more I realise what a true talent and class act he is. Fantastic interview.

[@dominicmilani4637]

This is like the interview with Joe Biden from the first week of the show. This is why Stephen is great, why his interviews can become something really open and natural.

[@sagejr9295]

sorry to break it to you but this is all rehearsed.. conan does have some good interviews outside from his show (not rehearsed)

[@tommasofaoro3278]

Dominic Milani I don't know if Stephen is a member of any journalists' guild, but he's a real interviewer. This is the big difference between him and all the other comedians hosting talk shows.

[@michellecasto3839]

Like people have already commented, the Conan interview is also great. Big fan of both hosts.

[@CNWhatImSaiyan]

+Akshay Chan "IT IS ME!!"

[@dharmabum1230]

much love to him. I'm glad he's doing well enough

[@CloudPeopleRecords]

i just balled my eyes out.. i care not if this is safe.. my heart goes out to patton and family, my word, you are giving people awesomeness by sharing this in a real way.. what a way to respect her sir, :)

[@tracer740]

Thank you for this moving and enlightening interview.

[@ArtRamboPettyQueen]

I love Patton!!❤️❤️🤟🤟❤️🤟

[@colibrcolibr6103]

Wow, awesome almost universally positive comments. So rare on KZbin. He must have struck a nerve with everyone, not just me. Thanks Paton.

[@smmydvr]

Thank you for posting this interview. Patton is a strong and wise man, and he is going through the start of the rest of his life in "the After". I wish him the best and he has my condolences for his loss. Patton is spot on when he describes the endurance becoming the remedy. Grief takes time to diminish, and never really goes away completely. I lost my father to suicide in the first week of 7th grade and even 35 years later it shapes how I deal with the loss of friends and family. We can have all the feelings we have about it, but they are gone and we are still here. There is no "right amount" of time or pain for anyone who loses someone, and it can only be experienced. Hopefully more people can take the time to treasure and appreciate the opportunity every day presents to be better people to each other.

[@TsahayluFa]

Beautiful Interview.

[@KillabytezOfficial]

These are the interviews we need to have. Where people seen as celebrities can be seen as the humans they are and there is comfort being able to relate to someone.

[@BlueHooloovoo]

It makes me sad that such tragedies befall such good people. All the best Patton.

[@MaximilianDenisPatrickPonsonby]

such a fucking eloquent guy

[@yorktown99]

Learning how to tell your story tames the grief, it puts you back in control. I'm not saying that you change the story, but you begin to say, "I own my own story & grief, it doesn't own me." You begin to acknowledge on an emotional level the magnitude of the loss and attach meaning to it.

[@heleneschenbacher8512]

This past Christmas were my first holidays as a widow. Patton wrote a GREAT essay on getting through the holidays. There was so much saccharine advice that I wanted to throw up! But Patton was so down-to-earth. “Hey you’re going to be sad and THAT’S OKAY!” I wrote him a real letter thanking him..and he wrote a note back! Thank you Patton!

[@basma.x.6656]

Half way through I realised Stephen was probably referring to all the tragedy in his life

[@LordJagd]

What kind of stuff has he been through?

[@zainshanqiti4117]

Khaserio Arsa He lost his father and two older brothers in a plane crash when he was ten years old

[@cheesecakelasagna]

Zain Shanqiti And also lost his mum whilst he’s on his hey day show.

[@joelferguson625]

With no real connection between us and Mr. Patton Oswalt I hope these words do not feel hollow; My condolences for the loss of someone who has brought so much into your world. I know the saying time heals all wounds is trite yet in a way it's just honest words. Thank you for being open Mr. Oswalt. :)

[@shrews12001]

I love how the bulk of the interview was just personal stuff and talking it out. No topical humor or promotion until the right moment because that would have felt forced. Real talking from real people and then jump back into the "entertainment" to round it off. Excellent work.

[@AmethystEyes]

God, when he said she was seven, just wow. No one should have deal with losing their mom so young.

[@knifeyonline]

This guy shows up in all my favourite shows like reaper, bobs burgers, dollhouse, the venture bros, futurama etc etc. He's an amazing actor...

[@tracer740]

Top dog at his trade! What's not to like?

[@007NowOnline]

Wow, I totally forgot about that dollhouse show. But i think he was only in one episode.

[@knifeyonline]

Teal'c yeah all of those things I mentioned, just a single episode ^_^

[@MJDHX]

More Patton in Agents of SHIELD!

[@EnsignRicky011]

MJDHX This. But we're getting Patton on the MST3k revival as TV's Son of TV's Frank, so the universe balances out.

[@madisonparker6549]

These two men show that greatness can arise from grief.

[@rottenhead8385]

so perfect, "put grief where you want it to be not where it wants you to be." fucking powerful babe!

[@DiegoMartinPintos]

"I show her The Cantina Scene in S.W"....Patton you are the man

[@rockerdude725973]

Colbert and Conan know exactly how to interview someone who went through a loss. Take notes, Fallon...

[@BlakieTT]

#nailedit Completely nailed it...

[@widM_]

Why? Fallon is not an interviewer, he's a game host and performer.

[@brendar9363]

I love Colbert and Conan. I don't watch Fallon. But in fairness to Fallon, they do notes before an interview and the guest gets to drive the direction. They will discuss in advance what they will and will not address. Patton would have had a voice in how the interview went and it may have been his choice to step back into the ha ha a little more.

[@Norvo82]

And this is how you interview someone who just lost the love of his life... Take notes, Jimmy "HaHA! Fallon...

[@GumbaMasta]

Didn´t he die?

[@QuirkySexyCool]

ikr... that interview seemed so awkward for him laughing at his grief like that...

[@elchucofried5683]

Jef Willemsen stop hating on Fallon wtf we get the joke already you guys aren't going to get him fired lol

[@Norvo82]

Not trying to get Jimmy fired ;-) If I did, I wouldn't want him to get better at his job.

[@carlosconesa]

Conan was very classy too.

[@klausweasley]

Stephen also had to deal with grief as a kid. He lost his father and two of his brothers in a plane crash when he was 11.

[@BookishDark]

I know I’m coming to this video late, but I had to comment - what a perfect summation of grief and grieving. I hope he knows how much he’s teaching his daughter about being willing to talk through feelings. Just a lovely person.

[@esakontio5624]

This was a brilliant interview concerning managing grief.

[@strongwilledwoman]

thank you Patton Oswalt for sharing your experience. I lost my significant other to leukemia in 2015 and it is still hard but honesty community and humor are all things that make the unspeakable less so and make it so that we can move forward with our lives in a way that honors our lives and those of the amazing people we've lost. Oswalt is a comic we would both turn to for levity when we struggled with depression and now he is facing this incredible loss with honesty and resolve. Man, I really admire that. Thank you Stephen Colbert as always for being such a a thoughtful and empathetic interviewer and therefore allowing these honest moments to happen. This is one of the many reasons why I tune in whenever I can. Great interview!

[@chelseamorning6219]

great interview! loved ever minute! even watched it twice!

[@eleids]

The way Patton Oswalt models the world makes me have faith in humanity.

[@christianschoff2490]

I miss you on Agents of SHIELD Patton. Please come back soon.

[@HereForTheComments]

I can't watch Patton Oswalt like this, but I gotta respect his strength, he continued to do the circuit while he ws grieving. Interviews and stuff. A lot of people would've cloistered themselves.

[@Laarla]

Mr. Oswalt's words have been comforting to me in the sudden loss of my beloved.

[@huckleberry12]

I love that guy so much. Patton Oswalt is a man's man. Thank you Patton.

[@OrcoDevelopment]

I think that "My Feelings" sign that lights up is probably bright orange.

[@feedingfiction]

OrcoDevelopment It's actually white, but it has be painted with the cheapest orange spray paint every day.

[@mystery8001]

i usually don't save late show videos...i enjoy them as they are uploaded...but i could not help but saving this one. this video is an amazing example that human beings are actually much stronger than we think we are. we are capable of smiling and make the world smile even if we are going through hell in personal life... nothing but pure and deepest respect for patton and steven....

[@caitlinjopepe541]

My two heroes, together at last.

[@trixterification]

I needed this today. I needed to hear it over and over, and it helped. Thank you. Months later, and it can still be so hard.

[@FernandoSV]

"if you can mock it you can manage it" amazing quote

[@mihirborker5240]

I love him, he is so amazing.

[@wgbmrx]

great video. hope it helps people. Patrick, amazing, stay strong. My heart is with everyone who has lost someone they loved.

[@IvarrtheSpineless]

"MY FEELINGS!" Nailed it.

[@hedleybutler9706]

I love you Patton

[@MrGammaJack]

Patton will always be my little chef.

[@SANITIZEDINC]

Dude is heroic. Love him. And so gd hilarious. An American treasure.

[@callslightning]

Though I've seen Patton Oswalt in fun comic stuff, the role that most stays with me is from the first episode of Dollhouse, where he got to experience his wife being alive again for one day a year. His humanity in that role was exquisite - I tear up just thinking about it. It seems so appropriate now, because I'm sure everyone in his position has the same thoughts.

[@bothellkenmore]

His Parks n Rec ad-lib is my fav :)

[@diggerydillin9385]

You're a beautiful man Patton. Thank you for staying strong.

[@mrmotono1]

It's been almost seven years since I lost my wife. One piece of advice for those who come into contact with people who are experiencing grief: Don't ask them how they are doing. It makes them think about it, which they really don't want to do. Either a "sorry for your loss" if you aren't very close, or a hug if you are, is much better. And for those of you who are grieving, try watching a Patton Oswalt standup routine or reading a David Sedaris book. Looking at beautiful things and listening to your favorite music are also good ways to help you through, but I think laughing is the best.

[@catastrophis]

This is why Stephen is the new king of late night.