Patton Oswalt On The Birthday Clown From Hell | CONAN on TBS

[@avinhelton5406]

"I'm so pissed off right now... I kinda wanna see where this goes." I swear, that is the ultimate metaphor for life. That's amazing.

[@lillianward2810]

Avin Helton Right? That is a mood.

[@parkesc7832]

And where did it go - every kid got the most ghetto lightsaber ever

[@PraiseReason]

I still use this line, regularly (at work).

[@dpclerks09]

“The only way to get through life is to laugh your way through it. You either have to laugh or cry. I prefer to laugh. Crying gives me a headache.”

[@theramplocal]

Same

[@mrlutece3339]

Patton Oswalt is a born story teller. I could listen to him for hours.

[@jasontaylor7259]

His stand up about his house hunting trip is hilarious!

[@alosim1541]

Most comedians are. I guess they kind of perfect it doing stand up

[@adolpholiverbush9060]

you want his johnson, don't you?

[@kristyhughes3146]

I could, and I have!

[@PAFloridian]

He's also a pedo

[@hegmonster]

Just pure genius, running back behind the curtain to show the Clown's entrance. No other guest gets this animated!

[@samfilmkid]

“Ball-retractingly terrifying” is my new favorite phrase.

[@tyguy6296]

officially the funniest story i have ever heard from a conan guest

[@EngineeringVignettes]

If Patton is on Conan, I *will* watch.

[@KyleJPie10]

Louis CK, Bill Burr, and Patton Oswalt are always the best guests.

[@SamiNami]

You should check Norm Macdonalds Moth joke

[@tyguy6296]

I know! I have been watching conan for years, but i have never laughed as hard as when he said the clown just appeared out of the woods

[@CleverMetaphor]

SamiNami heck. yes.

[@nicebars]

That was one of the funniest stories I have ever heard.. Jesus Christ, I couldn't stop laughing at the vivid picture Oswalt painted out for us

[@Tigerman1138]

The power of a great storyteller.

[@LizardClone2]

That clown must have been shorted five dollars.

[@dlxmarks]

The clown was the disaffected son of the magician. Resentful show business runs in the family.

[@ashersligh]

There's a german lesbian cackling in the woods.

[@theangryholmesian4556]

@@ashersligh Like a half remembered nightmare through a cracked mirror of regret...

[@Tigerman1138]

Awesome reference. You rock.

[@GonzoCiosain]

"Okay?!" BLAM

[@INRamos13]

I think Andy likes Patton more than the average guest. Always great to see him contribute.

[@sentinelfisher4917]

"that kool-aid is for later..." thats dark

[@DustinPoynterVideos]

I swear, if Patton, Louis CK and Bill Burr were the only ones on the show for the rest of Conan's career, I would be perfectly fine with that. They always bring hilarious material.

[@Legendary_Detective-Wobbuffet]

throw in some awkward eight year old girl who just wants to belong but isn't really funny at all, and I'm game.

[@Legendary_Detective-Wobbuffet]

imagine how hard she'd try to be funny, and how the whole audience would be trying to be polite, but they just groan and want her to get off the stage so someone else to come on. it would be an amazing joke on the audience.

[@John-lk5su]

+Nunziohotpants what the actual fuck are talking about...

[@Legendary_Detective-Wobbuffet]

I didn't mention genitals or Berry White at all.

[@crystalthunder]

Norm MacDonald's a legend on this show, so let's not leave him out.

[@WolfHeathen]

A clown in the distance standing at the edge of the woods sounds like a deleted scene from Stephen King's "It".

[@CanadianRM4]

Or a John Wayne Gacy bio.

[@savagenature1]

And the iconic scene from the pilot episode of American Horror Story Carnival

[@voteZDLR]

savagenature1 I will be completely honest with you, I think that's the entire basis of this story at all. He is embellishing a story that's probably somewhat based in truth, but that Twistie character or whatever scared the shit out of a lot of people who watch that show this past year. He's a big horror buff, this wouldn't surprise me in the least.

[@savagenature1]

voteZDLR Possibly, although fiction does have a way of imitating facts and vice versa

[@voteZDLR]

savagenature1 Yeah, you are right.

[@stanthechanman]

Patton Oswalt tells the best stories. Coming from anyone else it would just be like: "Yeah I went to a kid's birthday party and the clown sucked."

[@Tigerman1138]

Stanley Chan I like the rat/hawk story which ends up interrupting an orgy.

[@tabletalkreviews]

Then the mother checks her voicemail, "Hey it's Bozo, an emergency came up, I won't be able make your son's party. Sorry." *click*

[@tabletalkreviews]

apparently asterisks make words bold

[@1974spr]

thecultofpop What a great premise for a horror story. When she gets her message she checks the treeline again and the clown from her party is standing there staring.

[@Tigerman1138]

1974spr “The Party Clown” “What happens when your entertainer is only there to entertain *himself*?”

[@balot1958]

*thank you for telling me*

[@chakdey1]

that was great, first time i seen a guest just walk around on the show ..lol

[@INRamos13]

Seriously, this was one of the best guests I've seen on Conan. The ending killed me (also killed the clown)

[@m.g8096]

DeMat That ending tho .. lol

[@VexonCross]

I think Patton did the same in 2012 when he performed the speech Mitt Romney should've given.

[@INRamos13]

VexonCross Oh I need to see that right away

[@hobobob59]

it felt like i was watching stand-up

[@SpacemanXC]

You _are_ watching his standup. I saw him tell this story a few weeks ago.

[@TraaaaaasshBooooaaaatttt]

a story like that is MADE for stand up

[@FuckenDita]

Most of the stand-up comedians that do interviews, use their stand-up material. Still fucking funny.

[@jorethacallon9430]

Dgyk v6gyyh H Hg Gu Y6yyyugg o pph0bn b.jb&&&jbpbjjh v

[@eugenegrewing2587]

That's because his material is taken from his life.

[@ninas769]

At least the clown wasn't coming out of a drain, that's one helluva relief

[@siyabonga4704]

Patton Oswalt is the one of the best story tellers in comedy!

[@thegreyhorn1564]

WE WANT MORE FUCKING PATTON OSWALT

[@eamon2please]

*WE WANT MORE FUCKING, PATTON OSWALT.

[@OffhandDelivery]

I WANT A FUCKING FLOWER

[@themeerkat6034]

"We want more fucking Oswald Cobblepot"

[@RobHoughton]

NbAlIvEr100 He does do somewhat serious in Marvel: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. from time to time.I'd tell you more but it would be spoilery.

[@HeyImJelly]

+OffhandDelivery I WANT A FOKING SWORD

[@BimTalch]

Two metallic silver balloons...PERFECT FOR SWORDS lololol

[@BobJoeman]

"That Kool-Aid's for later." Nice...

[@TheNintendhoe]

I just now got that.

[@kristyhughes3146]

"I'm so pissed off right now...I kinda want to see where this goes." Words to live by.

[@ShervinSaffari]

there is two sides to every story i would like to hear the clown's side

[@eamon2please]

I was just having a really hard time that day.

[@Ayplus]

The clown was killed. . . werent u paying attention

[@meganwhite9090]

Eamon, have the Police come round to your house yet? They nearly got me man, we need to abort this operation.

[@onraj9mm]

easy, it was charlie manson on a day off

[@TheOneManWhoBeatYou]

+ShervinSaffari "So I killed the original clown...."

[@aumkar2]

I think that clown disliked this video.

[@jillmo6458]

The Disinterested Clown should meet the Sarcastic Magician from Patton's other story.

[@SolemnHeretic]

I think I'd rather see a velociraptor appear at the edge of the woods than a clown.

[@sgtprestonoftheyukon2423]

BALL RETRACTINGLY TERRIFYING !!!! that one line just makes this story .

[@CaptTerrific]

BEST FINISHING PUNCHLINE EVER!!!!!!!!!!

[@OrionFyre]

"I'm so pissed off, I kinda wanna see where this goes" words to live by.

[@hotelfoxtrot4979]

This was my favorite story from Patton's standup last year (saw him in Chicago). The clown reveal from the forest edge, the "run between two trees" as a game and then the woman that hired the clown's remark "I want to see where this goes..." Brilliant joke/story.

[@tristanhoneyford]

I lost my Mother last Friday...Oswalt's one of my Comedic "Rushmore"s, along with Andy Kaufman & Monty Python, & he's what gets me through the acute, intense plural fiat of sententient cholic

[@Tigerman1138]

I am sorry to hear that, but I shall always remember what makes my mother and father laugh.

[@dspsblyuth]

That’s way too many people for a Mount Rushmore . You are already at 8

[@CaptainPancakes]

"Put down the David Foster Wallace." - Fuck I love Patton!

[@violetnoire8253]

I feel like that line deserved a way bigger reaction xD

[@ricarleite]

He tells that on his live show, with more details. When the kids go sing happy birthday, the clown went to some corner, got his phone and started checking emails. So Patton got his phone and filmed the birthday, and slooowly a pan to the right and shows the clown.

[@nandasilva9818]

where can I find it?

[@moniemaker27]

+Nanda Silva his stand-up special, Talking For Clapping.

[@nandasilva9818]

Thanks

[@ryanzlatniski1799]

I can't find it, are you sure? All the special shows is the picture of the balloon

[@brandonzarate8930]

Wow what a great story teller! Gotta love Patton.

[@LameNch33zy]

So I take it you weren't satisfied with my clown performance

[@HelgaCavoli]

I have this video on my Favorites. I don't know how many times I've watched it. 😂😂😂

[@TIOLIOfficial]

Dude, I was eating a sandwich and was laughing watching this, but when Andy said "THE CHILDREN HAVE BEEN MARKED" at 2:46, it made me laugh and spit out a part of my sandwich right on top of the pillow on my chair...

[@Tigerman1138]

RULE: Never eat or drink while watching him.”

[@danielzylberkan1587]

Patton made a very nice obtuse Metalocalypse reference there. The David Lee Roth of clowns is Dr. Rockzo the Rock and Roll Clown (he does cocaine)

[@sumojo]

Patton Oswalt totally looks like my chemistry professor and it is so hard not to laugh during class.

[@Tigerman1138]

Joe one time I was at a comedy club and I did double take because I was sure it was my partner at New York Life

[@jm-rf7kl]

Patton seems to be a magnet for situations like this, and for that I am grateful!

[@OffhandDelivery]

I fucking LOVE Patton Oswalt

[@micxploed]

Patton Oswalt everybody. One of my favorite comedians of all time

[@JohnnyRoseofVersailles]

This should be made into a movie, not a feature, just a short for youtube.

[@AirshipFury]

"The David Lee Roth of party clowns" hm... Dr. Rockso anyone?

[@AdventuresofaGeek]

Oh, Patton Oswalt, always clowning around. ^_^

[@nathanashley8473]

4:42 That clown has to be wary, never know if you run into a creature with an aqua blue tank top and pink juicy sweatpants….

[@TrutMrTrut]

patton oswalt is one hell of a storyteller...so funny. love him since his Spence days from king of queens

[@JiBenJiBee]

Patton Oswalt is just amazing. I've been watching comedy since the Comedy Channel started and almost never actually laugh out loud, but Patton always kills it.

[@MajiggerRose]

I can never get over how perfect this is. The punchline gets me every time.

[@chronicprocrastina]

Love Patton, such an underrated comedian.

[@Alladiings]

I'd love for Andy and Patton to have their own show where they just chill, nerd out and let us take in whats happening

[@obscureentertainment8303]

My parents got a clown for my birthday too. He turned up drunk and he and my dad had a fight.

[@callmeEmvy]

i just fucking love Patton Oswalt. he is soo funny and he totally kills it on Marvels: Agents of Shield... as always

[@manofhellas123]

The clown's "flower" look like Treyarch's logo with a pair of Yeti's balls on top.

[@LillianWard-mw4qe]

PERFECT FOR SWORDS! really gets me for some reason. The whole thing is magnificent.

[@Senjinone]

"The kool-aid is for later." That was awsome :)

[@HelgaCavoli]

Finally I found something worthy of laughing and sharing. Awesome.

[@mandcbruce]

"I'm so pissed off right now. I kinda want to see where this goes." Is EXACTLY how I'm feeling right about now.

[@Jaysus777Live]

he told this story in madison a few days ago, great stand up, theres a couple more minutes in this bit that he cut out im sure to meet conans time slot, the whole story is so damn funny.

[@AcuraAddicted]

1:30 Andy's brilliant play of words joke got missed (Jester touch of clown).

[@MerkinMuffly]

Am I the only guy that got the, hipster put down your David Foster Wallace? The crowd sure didn't.

[@dspsblyuth]

I got it too

[@cmatrix4761]

ROFL - Patton Oswalt is the best story teller!

[@looknow5397]

I am crying with how funny this is!

[@RaulieGonzo97]

This remains one of my favorite moments from Conan

[@matthewhudson7883]

I wonder if the cops ever found the body of the real clown out in the woods.

[@TIOLIOfficial]

My god, I love Patton Oswalt.

[@drgraefenberg]

Best story by a guest ever

[@iVoltage55]

IM IN LOVE WITH THE COCO. Team Coco :D

[@raynier0017]

I love Patton Oswald, he is good at improv-comedy

[@AdamforPresident2.0]

I waited the entire story to see if the clown left by going back into woods. Holy cow lol.

[@EmmazzNy167]

Wow, this was funny. I feel like I wanna see his stand up now.

[@thehulkmadsmash6716]

2:46 Nobody in the audience got the Kool-Aid joke

[@andyholstein8371]

"I'm so pissed off, but I kinda want to see where this goes." Pretty much my entire worldview in a nutshell.

[@zissou6928]

Oswalt saves the show once again

[@Tigerman1138]

I hope Patton was proud of his daughter for standing her ground.

[@darrenbarker6978]

he told this joke at the Majestic Theater in Dallas 1/23/16 I hadnt realized he told it on Conan a whole year ago...

[@JosephRDBenjamin]

A year is not long to hold onto a bit. Dont be a douchey comedy snob.

[@DirtyFrigginHarry]

lot of times they test out bits on talk shows and smaller venues before putting it in their regular material.

[@EdVarkarion]

So the mom hires a clown, even though she invited one of the best comedians working today.

[@calisongbird]

Yeah but he's not exactly a kids' comedian! 😂

[@EdVarkarion]

calisongbird The man was in Ratatouille , so I think he would be able to think of something

[@cokieblume]

EdSkywalker I don't think it is cool to invite a famous friend to your party and ask them to work for their free cake.

[@Malkmusianful]

yeah, sure, tell your kids the Black Angus bit

[@eviola11]

HOW DOES THIS ONLY HAVE 254K VIEWS??????????

[@patrickstar7]

XD the clown emerged from the from the woods XD

[@Tigerman1138]

patrick star Balls retract

[@ChanMorgan]

Had no idea how much I was going to enjoy this video. Great story.

[@michaelelliott3209]

I hope the clown also doubles as Santa Claus at a mall. LOL

[@emmaduncan2991]

Patton is the best stand up working today.

[@TwoGunToast]

Turns out, the clown knew Patton would be there and decided to do something hilarious.

[@danielcropp8553]

Patton Oswalt is amazing!!!!

[@contactkeithstack]

Back in 2016 during that creepy clown epidemic I saw one, I was biking down this road during the daytime and a car flew by me with this guy dressed as a clown kinda lunging out the window. Have to admit it was pretty damn scary. Hard to understand why but clowns are scary.

[@SecretAgentVecchione]

One time I saw a clown in the far distance at a fast station in the middle of the day, and it was terrifying. I wish I kept the picture.

[@MsKillerqueen5]

Anyone who has seen the firsts episodes of american horror story "freakshow", know he is right, a clown in the woods in the daylight, scary stuff

[@Tigerman1138]

I love this story. The best stories cannot be made up.

[@harmonizaac]

Oswalt is probably is the best comedian today!

[@vamanosninja4143]

"Where I assume the actual body of the clown she hired was dead!" hahhaa!

[@kylesanders8276]

What a great story teller. I can't tell a story to save my life

[@Chris.Mendoza]

I remembered when this aired saying this is classic af 😂

[@miap]

I wish he shared the picture of the clown and blurred the face lol

[@cheerfuljuan]

So funny. Gotta love Patton, man

[@maxmiddleshirtz]

The whole story sounds like something that would happen in It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia

[@paradoxacres1063]

Creepiest kid's party ever... (It could've ended so much worse, though)

[@channelgaming4478]

wow patton oswalt soo awesome

[@Dreamer23245]

well this is not the first time i hear a story about a little hangover clown

[@Tigerman1138]

“ *Perfect* for ⚔️ “

[@BeanSproot]

That was Agent 47 pretending to be the clown he just killed

[@Jay-wy7dp]

LMAO at the Jim Jones reference