Patton Oswalt Reveals The Secret of Wedding DJs | Netflix Is A Joke

If Patton Oswalt learned one thing from years of DJing weddings, it's this.
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[@yourbigheadcousin5434]

"A poem of a woman who re-lit the sky."

[@jordanlewis4983]

He deserves it. He has been through so much

[@yourbigheadcousin5434]

@@jordanlewis4983 you said a mouthful

[@davidechols2016]

Ikr

[@aliquidgaming1068]

@@jordanlewis4983 I like listening to his stand up. Don't know much about him as a person though. I watch stand up clips mostly. What has he been through? Genuinely curious.

[@toddbradford4700]

@@aliquidgaming1068 His first wife passed away very unexpectedly leaving him to raise their 7 year old daughter alone. He has also suffered from very severe depression for most of his life.

[@cturner5338]

"We were not love wizards, we were divorce necromancers." -my elf wizlock and the teifling bard leaving a town.

[@fadetoblack1026]

I found my next character concept.

[@thetraveler4493]

A necromancer is just a really determined healer

[@Nicole_Gumm_994]

😭😭😂

[@Parodox306]

They put the "romance" in necromancer.

[@Shadowwolfe2k7]

How does this comment not have more likes?

[@AngelOuttaFocus]

Sometimes you have to dig for gems like this.

[@An0nymous_L0gic]

Nice

[@laurafedora5385]

I love Patton Oswalt, such a great guy. If anyone is deserving of love, it’s this guy. “We were not love wizards, we were divorce necromancers” 🤣

[@jbrisby]

Just remember, when you sic your entire twitter following on a defenseless kid because he smiled at an Indian, God kills your girlfriend.

[@canderoussnurd4265]

Yeah he is. I mean only a truly great guy would screw over a twenty year long friendship over tweets by angry retards on the internet over jokes. I mean that’s just friendship defined to a T right there.

[@szinyk]

I saw this live and his rendition of a cassette tape breaking down made me laugh so hard I couldn't breathe.

[@reginaphalange3740]

I love how well he nailed the sound of old cassettes!

[@brainflash1]

Even without the DJ lore, I'd be paranoid as shit if my wedding went off without a hitch.

[@Rick_Sanchez_C137_]

My wedding was shitty as fuck (her family and their drama), half the shit went wrong or had something that overemphasized it in a negative light….. she left me on the 65th day while I was at work….. oh, and before I had left for work, I had made her breakfast in bed, just like I did 3 or 4 days every week…..

[@klugevil]

"ambience of rage and despair" is my new punk metal band

[@WublicIndecency]

"Not love wizards, but divorve necromancers" is my new favorite line

[@61lastchild]

Love Pattons use of the mic stand. When he leans on it, makes a face. Its like he's leaning on your kitchen table, just riffing.

[@ButlerWho]

I don't think I've ever seen a comedian be so relaxed on stage before.

[@catswillruletheworld]

So he met someone? That's so awesome! I remember his story from a previous special, and my heart just broke for him. I'm so glad he found color to wash away the gray.

[@MothGirl007]

He's been married to Meredith Salenger for awhile now and they are very happy together.

[@daviddemar8749]

His new wife is Meredith Salenger

[@cinnamonbagel5914]

“Hey did your daughters boss at Sam goody knock her up and now you want the song at her first dance to be almost paradise?”

[@Jleigh225]

I’m old enough to understand this sentence 😭

[@kedabro1957]

As a boomer D&D nerd, I can't get used to a world where a celebrity can say "necromancer" in front of normal people and they all understand and laugh.

[@Varooooooom]

oh jesus, people are not as dumb as you think they are

[@kedabro1957]

@@Varooooooom That's my point. They used to be, and I never stop being surprised that they aren't anymore.

[@catmagic2226]

@@Varooooooom 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@thelonelyelephant]

and what’s even crazier is women can vote now!

[@thelonelyelephant]

Maitreya 01 but that actually wasn’t the point of hereditary - the cult is into black magic and beheadings in honor of paimon, but for a majority of the movie (baring only the brief period where he inhabits toni colette) paimon is played like a confused child - and i mean i would too if a cult tried to put me in a body that wasn’t mine, and bring me into a world i didn’t know or ask to be a part of. i mean - you’re right that a lot of people probably think he’s just a demon who likes beheadings, but Ari Aster didn’t write him that way

[@goldenscarecrow]

He was 21 in 1990. Perfectly reasonable detail that takes me out like the body that bounces back when thrown over a railing in a film.

[@justinbuergi9867]

I mean in a way he’s right. I’ve see a million wedding stories that end in the entire thing being cancelled after something goes wrong, so if they make it through a disaster wedding, they’ll probably make it through being married

[@zachhaywood1564]

Must respectfully disagree...my best friend got into a literal shouting match with his wife at their wedding, in front of everyone, and they didn't last even a year.

[@Filmation77]

I've actually served this Guy,and he is so awesome.

[@Filmation77]

CHESS KING!! OMG I remember that

[@justincoleman3805]

Do you mean fillated?

[@JackiePhillipsTheSocialPet]

I love the storytelling part of comedy. He does it perfectly!

[@nescaffier1524]

This comment confuses me

[@JackiePhillipsTheSocialPet]

@@nescaffier1524 See edit. YT autocorrected. Should be "does it."

[@pnealiv7443]

Raconteur- a person who skillfully tells humorous stories 🖖

[@OO-qr1ks]

never saw patton oswalts standup been a fan of his since king of queens but wow he's a great comedic storyteller!

[@jholmes7615]

This bit is what sold my girlfriend on Patton's stand up. She lost it at Divorce Necromancers

[@lohphat]

I was just thinking about him and his recent loss and how he was dealing with it, then I tripped upon this. I'm so very happy for him.

[@Sandra-lu3ri]

the vibe of kindness .. i can feel it from him

[@264aub]

The Almost Paradise bit had my mom and I DYING

[@AmandaGeyerSnobahr]

We had a lot of things go wrong on our wedding day, in 1990. We celebrated our 30th anniversary this year, and are still insanely in love with each other

[@c4ha2na9]

A swan ate a guest's shoe!

[@mitsuomits9077]

The sound of the song.... I can't ..... 😂😂😂😂😂

[@mqbitsko25]

The length of a marriage is inversely proportional to the cost. My daughter married her boyfriend in my disabled son's bedroom so he could watch. They'd picked up the license, but the wedding itself was a whim because there was nothing good on TV. I was in my pajamas. We called a neighbor, a clergyman, to come over at 9 pm and say a few words. I said "Mazel Tov", threw rice at them, and went back to bed. No wedding dress. My daughter was way too pregnant to fit in one anyway. They're solid as a rock. Come to think of it I've been married since 1993. We got engaged one Sunday because the jewelry store had a sale.

[@ViolacTrough]

Is their marriage still solid?

[@raemills3089]

Oh man, my dress wasn't fitted properly so it bruised me, and cut in spots but in other spots it hung and was too big. I got sunburned (in APRIL - in CANADA - AND I HAD SUNSCREEN ON), my nephew went MIA (8 yrs) so we had to call the cops and I ran through a ravine in my wedding gown SCREAMING his name because I was terrified he jumped in the river), my mother huffed out in the middle of my father daughter dance (because I asked my best friend's dad instead of her husband who I hated), half our menu had to have last minute changes because of of a fluke with shortages (like there was no lettuce anywhere in the city) and our MC forgot she was MCing and didn't prep anything.

[@adams3627]

And how's your marriage doing?

[@raemills3089]

@@adams3627 amazing! My best friend lol. Two wonderful kids, cat, good jobs - we actually don't fight (we do disagree sometimes but it's always a discussion and respectful) and I couldn't imagine my life without them ♥️

[@Super_Ammo]

Putting the punchline on every thumbnail is really great for the joke.

[@kedabro1957]

With stuff this old, they assume everybody has already seen the footage years ago, and they're trying to attract us into rewatching it. At least that's how I got here.

[@daviddemar8749]

The woman he's talking about is his 2nd wife, Meredith Salenger. Even though he looks like a short, old lesbian he hit the jackpot .

[@SeanLain]

You should upload the whole Subcontractor bit. That has to be the funniest most accurate comedy bit I can personally relate to, one of the greatest of the set.

[@iwillnever4getu]

as a huuuge actual lo fi enthusiast a wedding mixed by patton oswalt with tapes sounds like a dream

[@BeauYarbrough]

I love that Patton trusts his audience to know what a "necromancer" is. (And they do.)

[@antifret]

Sealing yourself off from the world is underrated. I accepted relationships are just not going to happen for me and my mental health got WAY better than when I was constantly putting myself out there or trying to improve myself. Now I can accept myself and other people because I expect nothing from them. I need nothing from them because I never got used to having them provide anything in the first place. I don't expect people to be nice, so it's cool when they are and when they're just people, I'm not hung up about it.

[@thereadersvoice]

Amen, my friend! This is why I've recently gotten into remote camping. Just me, the forest, the wildlife, and the elements. Being as far away from people, jobs, family, relationships, etc., is the closest thing to heaven that I can imagine.

[@CouncilofGeeks]

I want “divorce necromancer” on a business card.

[@theoutsider675]

Isn't this guy one of those MAPs? Deserves a fucking woodchipper.

[@blainegarcia2503]

It's so great to see Patton Oswalt back at it! Doing what he does best!

[@kylamarie4970]

I love that. He deserves the world ❤️❤️❤️

[@gabecornett8185]

I would have gone with “Divorcerers” myself but then again I would never be able to tell that funny of a story

[@An0nymous_L0gic]

I like it, just change the spelling to Divorcerors to make the pun clearer

[@kristyhughes3146]

Another tshirt or coffee mug needed: There is no DJ lore.

[@jenniferbates2811]

Love him

[@gothiccat9582]

3:57 lmaooo the same words jesse said to the admin in minecraft story mode. I love that game

[@billbill2228]

This dude is incredible

[@generaljellyroll8737]

Remember when the good citizens sang about how the wicked witch was dead? Ya, that’s kinda like Rush

[@adaraa_ce]

Isn't this the penguin publisher guy from Bojack Horseman?👀

[@resplndnt]

Yes as well as the pig doctor and and the seal that’s a navy seal

[@eduardoandres5989]

...........necromancers!!!!!!- WOWWW!! haha that was great

[@jakemartin4305]

This dude said love wizard 🤣😂💀

[@yesthisisshi]

I like the set a lot! reminds me of the Splash by David Hockney

[@isaacsmith6878]

I didn't know Patton is a father, good for him! 👏👏👏👏❤

[@AtlasNovack]

Since 2010 lol, in My Weakness is Strong he talks about his wife being pregnant

[@blkbrdmntrvimes6438]

Run at love !? I have before I will again, though as it stands when I have run at love they ran away.... Don't get me wrong I stay in contact and wish them all the best, hell! I married one of my exes to her husband they're kicking ass and taking names going on 10 years now and truly happy for them. I just wish I new what I'm doing wrong or that I might've paid off whatever karmic debt I must've accrued lasttime around on the big blue marble. Am I asking for too much? An honest chance Or An honest reason why not (I'm trying to avoid making any habitual mistakes I might be doing without knowing) Love Patton he can be damn funny

[@Draukagrissah]

The start of this will never not make me cry T_T

[@diligentsun1154]

Chess King! Oak Tree! YEAH!!!

[@Xaoc2sqaure]

Wow, agents of shield guy

[@jackiechan_wtf4041]

Smh, I can tell your way too young. We all remember Patton from King of queens.

[@WublicIndecency]

Oh my god thats so sweet:)

[@jdspencer60]

If you are a wedding DJ and "jump in the line" by Harry Belafonte is not in your library, you are failing badly.

[@michaelfoxbrass]

Did anyone get the title of the poem he mentions at the beginning of this?

[@aitvaras]

Michael Fox The poems name is Meredith Salenger.

[@Chilli_Heelers_Doula]

... in my Chess King suit. Ha!

[@ronomaa]

Can anyone tell me what's the song his singing?

[@ellendallanora7404]

He kinda reminds me a bit of my brother. He plays piano and is considering a career playing for weddings. Don't know if he will ever get around to do that, but if he does, it will certainly render a lot of funny stories.

[@SHELOVESS10]

😹😹😹😹

[@WalkerLarson497]

You chase that woman Oswald

[@bryandunn68]

Chess King suit. You are godamned right!

[@ryanburke8610]

2:45

[@fathersatoru]

All I imagine is just Rimy from ratatouille doing stand up

[@shanemathews4177]

I was a wedding dj lol....

[@frankrossi6972]

This could be tied to the old saw that if the weather sucks on your wedding day, the marriage will last, i.e., those sunny June beach weddings are doomed. Well, my wife and I have been together nearly 23 years, and it rained like hell on our wedding day. Fortunately, it was indoors, but it still was crappy weather. As for the DJ, he was great, no cassettes, though his timing was a bit off. He was supposed to play our song, Phil Collins' "Groovy Kind of Love," during our wedding dance, but instead played it when we cut the cake. Actually made for a better wedding video, though, making the cake-cutting eerily dramatic.

[@rococoblue]

😂.

[@TheStefan6969]

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@jediknightjairinaiki560]

He's found two. I've found none. Such is life, eh?

[@eannelisarheuben]

Go back and look at people you have overlooked before. You might be surprised what you have missed.

[@lazarussoul8221]

This guy saying these words......gives me hope.....for about 1.5 seconds...then my manic depression says “NO!”.......

[@frankallen3634]

Married 39 years and not a chance in hell I'm ever going to do this again

[@Asmallcorneroftheinternet]

It makes you wonder what happened at Patton's first wedding.

[@GraemeGunn]

Lol but don't run at love if you're already married

[@huntercole5643]

Shout out VA

[@68scorpion68]

spence rules

[@bigwilly8199]

At first glance from the thumbnail I thought this was George Lopez

[@isaacschmitt4803]

Everyone: God, Netflix is a joke, they've completely run out if ideas. Netflix: "Netflix is a Joke" . . . Sounds like a great name for a comedy showcase of standup comedians!

[@connoroverall580]

Divorce Necromancers in the Fortress of Divorcodur.....little bit of LoTR.

[@jacktowers7533]

A want a Netflix movie of the Love Wizard V The Divorce Nercomancer

[@thomasgiles2876]

More like the Divorce Demon Cop

[@darkstar932]

More like Annulment Werewolf Officer

[@mikemasiello5965]

Even though we have different views on politics, I've always admired his comedy and hard work

[@RichardDuryea]

I used to work for a terrible wedding photography company

[@jackiechan_wtf4041]

I bet your experience with that company was quite *negative........get it? Cause you know......okay I'll let myself out. 😅😅

[@shirleylavernerosej.120]

Sgt. Wiggle

[@user-nn7by2rf8f]

I didn't run at love one time. Worst mistake I ever made. Now I'm stuck in the grey

[@clevelandmaker386]

sorry Patton.....LOVE NEVER GAVE ME A CHANCE TO RUN AT IT!

[@justincoleman3805]

And never will.

[@rtamcwolf9578]

Arby's supasize...pls

[@SegaRihdan]

What do you wanna be when you grow up? A divorce necromancer.

[@johndavidtibbetts7320]

tried watching this on netflix. Everytime I clicked on it, saw the thumbnail, clicked on the thumbnail, hit play, I got a fucking bob rubin special instead????

[@salvagemonster3612]

So he does know that the more you compress the music the more you loose? For example a record will always offer more sound than a compressed file or a cd etc.

[@wallybooger1]

The grey isn't so bad

[@JorgeLopez-ix2zi]

There may be something to hat theory. My wife and I had multiple things go wrong the day we got married. We’ve been married 33 years now!

[@Sewblon]

Necromancers bring people back from the dead. So a divorce necromancer would be someone who resurrects old divorces. Someone who causes doomed marriages would be a divorce wizard or divorce time bomb maker.

[@Jc-ho9wu]

Is this set design an homage to A Bigger Splash?

[@JayG666]

What is a "Chess King Suit" ?

[@bradcarver8127]

Still holding out hope he and Gary Valentine will get back together

[@FordFourD-aka-Ford4D]

A little rambling and it seems he lost the thread for a bit there towards the end

[@ohmy1670]

More like love leeches

[@TGiannini007]

Poor dude lost his wife in 2016.

[@ludobagman3882]

Something went wrong. It just went wrong in the way women notice but not men. Like the flowers were on the wrong tables or something.

[@GrowlyBear917]

A few mobile DJs I know swear cassettes sound the greatest, and they play at receptions with music dubbed onto leaderless computer cassettes that have the worst Type-1 tape, overbiased, and the wrong EQ, sped up 5% or more, and they're up on stage acting like king shit and bragging "Oh look at us none of our music skips like those other DJs that play records and CDs, blaah blaah" Then this one guy shows me his equipment and half of it was purchased from a thrift store, and he's got this one piece of signal processing gear, a compressor, so he's like "I'm the ONLY mobile DJ who uses a compressor in the sound system, it makes the music sound so much better than anyone else's" and in reality, EVERY other DJ I've seen has a compressor, but not a shitty bargain-basement one like he's got, the other guys have top-of-the-line stuff that would be found in maybe a radio station or a top recording studio. Man, DJs can be master bullshitters, always talking about how great they are and how great their sound systems are. They wouldn't know good audio quality if it ran up behind them and bit them square in the ass cheek. Next time I run into one of those 19-year-old know it alls, I'm going to suggest they put E.M. after their name on their business card. It would stand for Egotistical Maniac!

[@fan-i-am]

A perfect wedding? I guess it was owed to him considering what happened to his 1st wife :(

[@mikeyates7931]

POV : he gets to Heaven and has to choose between his first wife and his second wife 😮