Paul Conti: Narcissism, Sociopathy, Envy, and the Nature of Good and Evil | Lex Fridman Podcast

[@lexfridman]

Here are the timestamps. Please check out our sponsors to support this podcast. 0:00 - Introduction & sponsor mentions: - NetSuite: netsuite.com/lex to get free product tour - Indeed: indeed.com/lex to get $75 credit - InsideTracker: insidetracker.com/lex to get 20% off 1:36 - Human Mind 19:16 - Evil 25:30 - Envy 48:33 - Narcissism 1:17:07 - Pride 1:34:20 - Death 1:49:10 - Trauma 2:14:14 - Therapy 2:28:25 - Subconscious mind 2:34:22 - Conversation 2:47:07 - Emotion 3:10:19 - Advice for young people

[@icelandlady771]

💖 Thank you. Agreed, evil/envy & narcissism can be dangerous aspects of the human mind. Your openness and humility in the conversation are refreshing like a pristine waterfall with no one around but you. Truly, thank you from my 💖. 💝

[@solidspirit2365]

Lex, i enjoy video games too...but dont get so emotionally invested in them, they should be very secondary to real life itself, if you get too attached to them you lose some of to your real life heart.and soul, become golem like. Much Love 🌍

[@shannon462]

I do truly believe that this conversation about love,life and I suppose the pursuit of happiness. Helped me believe.. People can be cruel but don't become dark for their benefits. It helped me make sense of my radical discussion ,Seeking a balance in the world of the lost should never be frowned apon. Thank you always, I don't understand the dance of love either.

[@melissaradaker1128]

First time I have heard Lex's Boston accent - when describing Kamu quote. He isn't a robot!

[@andrewkibsey4151]

Just got into your podcasts. Think they are fantastic. Interesting guests good questions not pushing a narrative but actually prepared to have a conversation. I remember you saying you were gonna get some musicians on. Could I recommend Dr Greg Graffin? Think it would be extremely interesting. All the interviews I've seen with him no one really responded thoughtfully just let him speak. New album new book and so on no intelligent responses. Id like to listen to real conversation with him. Bad religion music has made me think a lot from the time I was 12 years old still to 42. If you read this thanks and keep it in mind. Continue the good work man Thanks. Also as a Canadian the strange brew reference here is great lol

[@hubermanlab]

What a spectacular conversation! Dr Conti has the most clear explanations of the human mind and it’s phenotypes I’ve ever heard. I learned so much! Thank you!

[@PGproductionsHD]

Came here because of your recommendation.

[@muddymaker3721]

I too also enjoyed sitting in on Lex's psychoanalysis session, love you Lex∞

[@MikeYeah]

I love you!

[@wesleydunn169]

Thank you! For sharing your intellect and being deliberate with your positive intentions.

[@Johanna12345]

You're such a great friend and human! I honestly wish all men to know and learn from you!

[@thetheoreticalphysicist5852]

He kinda looks like if Ben Shapiro tried to disguise as Jordan Peterson

[@violetsandferns969]

Spot on

[@lindsaymarshall5854]

Amazing call 😂

[@LaPelusaMojada]

Your sick burn merits psychological inadequacy.

[@BeeDubyew]

This made my day 😂

[@taramadden3906]

Hilarious!!!

[@jeanwhite-melendez7184]

Dear gentleman, The entire podcast is jam packed with nuggets of information in which are impossible to comprehend in one listen. Both of your contributions to this world are making a difference to this girl! As I sit drinking my coffee, tears are rolling down my face as I try to come to an understanding that I could not possibly have prevented the death of our 29 year old son whom died in his sleep of a left main coronary occlusion. I am a vascular “expert”professionally. I will buy Dr. Conti’s book on trauma today. With sincere gratitude, Jmm ❤

[@TeacherMom80]

I am SO, SO sorry about your son. 😭 The depth of your pain must be torturous... I wish I had better words to express my sympathy. Praying for your healing & for your Son's mind, body & spirit to be at peace & within the arms of God forever. Amen

[@DDTSB2525]

Prayers for comfort and peace to you and your family 😢💙

[@sharonrogers6541]

Sadness for your terrible loss and maybe survivor's guilt, my heart goes out to you😢❤😢

[@canyonhaverfield2201]

My tears flow 🌹& your immediate authenticity to share this is huge. I send you my arms in a hug Jean.

[@sharonrogers6541]

It's so easy to blame ourselves for anything and everything, especially in retrospect. Thank God you were able to let go of that misplaced blame. It's the hardest thing in the world to do, to accept our limitations and that we are neither omniscient nor omnipotent. "If only I hadn't asked her to run to the store." " If only I hadn't bought him that bicycle for his Birthday." " I should have known better than to... " Nope. No. It's beyond anyone to foresee every danger, think of every possible outcome, see the future. God knows there are things I would have changed, I would have done differently! Don't let it don't let it tear you apart. Life holds plenty of heartache without borrowing one drop more than is already our lot. 💜🙏😳🙏🥺🙏💛

[@sarahloffler]

I really, really like this guy Paul Conti. He has such a great voice and style of talking. Such thoughtful and compassion-filled answers. Very soothing to me.

[@EssenceOfEllie]

I Couldn't Agree More ! ❤🎉

[@dmshouse1]

What a lovely, brilliant, heuristic conversation between two strangers who are not only experienced but also more willing to express their humanness than most humans. Hearing this reunited my purpose and spark for life. Thank you Dr. Conti for your beautiful expressions, and Lex, for asking such great questions!! TY 🙏🏼

[@tisfortrauma]

Paul's last book, Trauma, the Invisible Epidemic, is phenomenal! I learned so much about trauma, its mechanisms, and how to process it, from him, he's one of the most underrated voices in the trauma space!

[@rejectracoon]

Wtf is the "trauma space"

[@DrPhilGoode]

@@rejectracoon better way of saying the “trauma industry” or “big trauma”.

[@jonathanalpart7812]

@@rejectracoon Professionals that write/speak about trauma.

[@TheMrothe]

I suffered many traumatic events early in my life, some of which I am still dealing with but because I only know one reality, my own. I find it hard to imagine how these events and their associated trauma have impacted my life. I feel life is what I make it and whether valid or not I don't want to make excuses for failure.

[@kamalmanzukie]

it's so disgusting seeing how trauma has become a social currency

[@szilardoberritter4135]

1:50:00 I lost my mother when I was 16. I would never have thought I would gain anything from it at any time. Turned out it transformed me in the most important way possible and helped me not become bitter, and find purpose in life.

[@stevenkeith9249]

Women are the abusers of children. When my mother died I felt nothing.

[@LamaSanjay]

Dear Lex, I met you and your work, a handful of months back, and listened intently to some of the most wonderful conversations, i had the honor listen to in recent times, in some of my darkest times. And like you like to say, It feels like I have made a friend that I never met. You make people shine and give their best , so they can be in the light in earnest and share with the world what it so desperately needs. I admire your hope. And with this conversation you have given something that is priceless. Awe and gratitude and sparkling insight. Thank you X L

[@henrycowsert3999]

Lex is one of my best friends and he doesn't even know I exist!

[@declanl4303]

We're in the early days of becoming a brick in a very large building 🤔👍

[@Radioactivegodgoji]

😂

[@melaniacoppola-k5o]

So schön, tief gehend und so menschlich was du ausgedruckt hast.

[@jyotiwelry]

This CD is very calming kzbin.infoUgkxzpa8CIfZcihW4Z0F_ja0QF3W9KIatrsq the first meditation focuses on breathing, the second guides you through the Buddhist metta bhavana--loving kindness to all, and the third is a meditation to be used when walking. him is originally from Scotland, so there is a little accent to his voice, but it is very soothing and not at all distracting. If you are a beginner to meditation, this CD will walk you through all the steps of relaxing and breathing as well as sending out the positive thoughts of love and kindness that will be returned to you. We have several CD's, but this one is a favorite that we choose most often.

[@rebeccablankenship4710]

The part about trauma survivors blaming themselves. The way he spoke about that was so tender and kind. 😭

[@bobtaylor170]

I've lived it.

[@realbobbyaxel]

Awesome podcast bro... Please continue doing more podcasts with people from the field of Psychology and Psychiatry. Very much needed.

[@hivolco151]

check out Huberman's podcast :)

[@AnthonyL0401]

Exactly! More psychology guests.

[@americanmensa4362]

Echoing @Bobby Axel. Here at Mensa, our members survive on discussing the "human project," especially if framed by Psychology/Psychiatry.

[@jeffreyrogers8151]

Thanks bruh. Appreciate it bro, really bro. Bruh..

[@zuzu5175]

This is my favorite pod ep. Thank you Lex for manifesting such a great conversation. Your time and work to bring humans to a common ground of understanding is greatly appreciated for 😁

[@yvealeciasmith]

I was so excited when I got the notification for this, and it turned out to be an exceptional conversation, thank you so much, Lex. So many salient points made by Dr Conti throughout; I’ve already started the second listen. He provided an EXCELLENT definition of narcissism, which is both hugely misunderstood and widely referenced these days. I will also be keeping some of his words about trauma with me - the ‘false lessons’ of trauma, the traumatised child’s perspective of ‘the world is not safe, and you’re not good enough for someone to keep you safe, and you’re not strong enough to keep yourself safe’, and of course ‘we should be wrapping our societal resources around children’. The paradigm of envy was an insightful and useful one that I will be delving further into. I did start to find the focus on it a little reductionist, but I really want to understand Dr Conti’s definition of envy properly before I conclude anything - envy seems too specific to me to be the foundation of evil acts, but it’s certainly raised a lot of questions that I’m excited to explore. I also really appreciated your pushback on the jealousy-envy divide (indeed I found myself rudely interjecting from the comfort of my own car on a few occasions only to hear you address my concerns a few seconds later), I personally would have felt so dissatisfied with the conversation had you not countered, and think you elevated it by doing so. I agree that it’s the same flame. Polyamory is not for me, but I think we should all learn about compersion, which is essentially feeling joy for someone else’s joy (regardless of what you might make it mean about you) - the neutral situation is us noticing that someone else has something that we want; both jealousy and envy are a negative reaction to that, compersion or celebration are the positive. So, I don’t personally believe that jealousy is benign; I think it’s a warning and, if we don’t heed it and process it, it will fester and build into a stronger creature that is progressively harder for us to overcome. Perhaps Dr Conti has an understanding of some boundary that I don't see yet - I remain open to the possibility! I have always struggled with the concept of evil, in that I don't think I believe that true evil exists. Perhaps my definition is too narrow (though I think I like it that way). I enjoyed and appreciated your nuanced discussion of evil, and I hope to hear more such discussions, but I still can’t help but see it in terms of weakness, pain, trauma, circumstance. It also made me wonder about the utility of using the word evil, being such a charged judgement - of the people who can perhaps be accused of evil deeds, I imagine there being one group who would immediately disown it, so egregious it would be to consider (here I see the narcissists), and another group who would smirk and feel empowered by it (here I see the psychopaths, and I would have liked to see the distinction made about this by Dr Conti, because I believe there is one to be made). Both of those options seem best avoided. The whole conversation had me thinking about the importance of definitions, the limitations of words, and the strange fact that we are never truly speaking the same language, so it was amazing to hear that subject being so beautifully articulated here too. There are so many more things I could ramble on about, this was a goldmine, but as I've rambled more than enough, I'll say I am grateful that this exists and is freely available to us, and I will be thinking about it for a long time.

[@Angrymobs62]

Just read the Bible. James, Proverbs, Galatians Ephesians Phillipians Colossians

[@instantzander]

As someone who experinced alot of child abuse and been threw many traumatic things. Like watching my friend fall70ft off a car park then see into his head and watch him die. This episode meant a shit load to me big love to both of you. Ive been through suicide and seen it many times the things in this episode needed to be said.

[@TangoCat303]

Much love to you @TheGoosebaby, may you heal and grow and have the most beautiful life

[@ierper7103]

Don't give up, man. It's a beautiful world, I wish you to fully embrace its beauty, you are not alone

[@xlittleblackwolfx]

God be with you brother. 🙏🏿🍻

[@elizabethabbott2982]

Dear Goosebaby, greetings and thank you. I know of one thing that can help; a soldier I knew could not get over having killed even if it was under orders; he began charity work and it helped a lot; better than therapy for him.

[@fernandooliveiralino]

Dr. Conti is an impressive man. I loved how he articulated his idea of free will and the creative and destructive act. Thank you so much for this conversation!

[@maddogsk8er86]

Lex, never change what you're doing. I can't hang with every conversation you have, but when you hit topics that spark my mind I'm sucked in. Cheers, bro.

[@Shatamx]

More human behavior discussion please. I’m completely sucked in.

[@Squirrel-zq6oe]

Same

[@cdub9923]

Did you watch the David Buss episode?

[@itsdeadshot2501]

Study your own behaviour and get sucked into that and you can talk about it with other like minded people which you will very very rarely come across

[@faith4freedom76]

Curious of the last time Jordan Peterson & Paul Conti had a family reunion? ....asking for a friend

[@elise9537]

​@@itsdeadshot2501 yep yep the like minded ppl help the most. Did you get to meet any?

[@reginar0529]

Such an impactful conversation. Dr. Conti touches on so many fundamental issues with great insight, clarity of thought, and empathetic disposition.

[@sophiahsiang9953]

haha I like the fact that Paul ended the conversation with "I am proud...." knowing Lex had some problem with feeling proud! This is a beautiful conversation and I enjoyed every minute of it!

[@annettegodwin193]

Lex You have an amazing gift of conversation and have the most fabulous guests. You have made your podcasts addictive in such a wonderful way. Thank you for being you. God Bless and thank you for touching so many souls.

[@ChronoKiller]

"Love is that condition where another person's happiness is essential to your own." @ 55:25

[@MissAstorDancer]

This was one of the most interesting conversations I have heard in a long time! Thank you so much, Lex!

[@formxshape]

2:03:11 You just described my wife. She left me a year ago. During our marriage she suffered depression, anxiety, endless nights of bad sleep and nightmares, low self-esteem, fears, unable to trust. Before I met her, she had been manipulated by her boss, and finally drugged and rape by him. During our marriage I struggle to understand her anger and distrust towards me, often over the smallest things. It wasn’t until after she left me, I heard Paul Conti on a podcast and it was if he was describing my wife. I miss her everyday… but her trauma made her fearful of me, so she won’t contact me. It was if she wore glasses that distorted reality in that she saw danger in everything…I hope she’s able to get past her trauma one day. I miss you my dear wife…😢

[@HalfHalfLife]

The trauma of her boss's actions may also have triggered borderline personality disorder if she had a genetic predisposition for it.

[@Thankful305]

I truly believe we have lost our ability to love and truly be transparent and caring. When you realize the triggers, some use that as an excuse to ignore or worse yet abuse by gaslighting or dismiss what the root cause is. Gentleness and understanding ( in the moment ) go a long way with women who have PTSD and is more than a huge help. That’s a man’s strength, not his muscle’s… when dealing with your traumatized wife. Speaking from experience. Love to hear her side of how wonderful you were, so she left/divorced you-- Pretty sure her story would include gaslighting, dismissing, stonewalling and an inability to work through the issues that came up/triggers! Remember….you want her to “get passed her trauma” REALLY?! She doesn’t work like you, she😮 can’t bury it and move on. Gotta say here… She may not have left a “gentle-man“ #jusayin

[@chelle-marie]

​@@Thankful305 Sooo, the only thing we know about @formxshape is that their spouse suffered truly horrific trauma and that they're mourning the loss of their marriage. We know literally nothing else about either party so hurtling accusations of them utilizing that trauma to manipulate, gaslight, and dismiss, and implying they have an inability to work through issues is...um...a LOT. Relationships are profoundly complicated things, and the interpersonal dynamics are often so complex and confusing that professionals are hired to help people understand each other. It's preposterous to assess their situation from such an accusatory stance, when there is simply no way of knowing how things played out. However, if I *did* have to call the ball on this situation, I would note that it's commendable that an ex spouse would continue to try to understand their former partner's experience, particularly when there appears to be no option for reconciliation. Most people simply demonize an ex. When I hear people say things like 'I hope you can get past your trauma' I interpret that to mean that they hope the other person can be healed or liberated, to no longer be trapped, controlled, or debilitated by their trauma, simply put - to be set free. I don't interpret it as a contemptuous demand that the person 'bury' their feelings. In any case, without tone, information about the relationship, or any substantive context, there is no way to accurately determine @formxshape's motivations so it seems utterly unwarranted to assume malice or an expectation that she bury her feelings. Burying feelings doesn't work for anyone, so saying she is unable to do so is not only baseless (given that we know nothing), it also does not make her any different from anyone else. Attempting to bury trauma is a terrible strategy for everyone, it is, however, the best way to ensure that one's internal suffering lingers, and lingers, continuously destroying from within. Unfortunately, the only way to get over trauma, or to get past it, is to work through it. It sucks. I don't know her, but I also hope she gets past her trauma. The sexual assault, in and of itself is a tragic and horrific experience. I truly hate that the outcome of rape is, invariably, prolonged suffering for the victim and shattered relationships (of any kind). The longer the victim continues to suffer, the more the rapist continues to 'win' so to speak. That just sickens and enrages me. In any case, it seems that responding to @formxshape's grief over this entire situation with unsubstantiated accusations is simply unwarranted and definitely not helpful. Think about it this way, if @formxshape *is* a manipulative evil person, accusing them of such, without any meaningful engagement, will improve nothing, and may make things worse. However, if @formxshape is a good person, who was mired in tragedy alongside someone that they love, had to see that person suffer, lose them, continue to see them suffer, grieve over the loss, and continue to seek to understand it all, and the response they received to allowing themselves to express all with such vulnerability is accusation and condemnation, well, that is just cruel.

[@robosing225]

@@Thankful305 a whole lot of presumptions thrown here. 70% of women leave men in relationships. are 70% of those men ALL fully responsible for why their wife/gf's left, or is it both? Are both equally at fault? Probably not but to some degree. If a woman just isn't attracted to her husband and doesn't feel like trying to keep it together, is it always his fault, hers, or both? What if it's him just being himself, trying to be loving but it just doesn't work for her anymore? What if the situation/roles is/are flipped? There's so many variables here and to speak so matter-of-factly, that it just comes off as self-projecting and closed-minded. I'm not trying to downplay her trauma. But there are many variables here that affect both sides in different ways. What about his mental welfare as well as hers? What if this was stressing him out beyond reason? So because her trauma is worse, which it is, we should not consider his mental well-being trying to keep the relationship together? He wrote a well thought out comment and seemed to me he cared deeply for her even after she decided to leave. This leaves me to believe he cared for her when they were together and tried his best to be there for her. And she just couldn't handle it for personal reasons and left him. maybe he was too caring. Too weak and she needed someone stronger, perhaps your situation is correct and he was a distant asshole we don't know. The point here is don't speak as IF you know.

[@user-ti5rb1mx5x]

Not to be a jerk, but you probably should not have married that woman, especially if she was already showing those red flags. I hope you don't have kids, but imagine her as a parent putting those insecurities onto the children.

[@ericameese4421]

That was a great conversation! It’s taken me a couple of weeks to listen to it as I put it on in the evening and then have to back track the following and stop to contemplate etc but what an amazing conversation! I can totally imagen just sitting on the floor, crossed-legged listening to these two, taking it all in. Beautiful people x

[@smithcook1]

I have trouble taking it all in! Can you share one insight that you gained with your contemplations?

[@margiecallahan3009]

Thanks for another great interview, Lex. I fired a therapist once. She was full of word salad and pressed me to give her an answer I couldn't conjure up. She refused to give me the answer she wanted so I cut my losses. She wasn't there to help me learn, she was there to taunt me with arrogance. The only reason I had the cojones is because I previously had excellent therapists and knew the difference between a helpful therapist and a grandiose one.

[@Kwatson855]

Thanks for sharing your experience. I think this is very common! They cause more harm than help, all because of their ego.

[@JJ-hx8eo]

It’s hard to find a good therapist. In general you need to interview your GP as well.

[@bridgetmontgomery6927]

The entire conversation covers all aspects of mental health good and evil, light and darkness. Knowledge is the first step to healthy living. Thank You So Much!

[@serpentines6356]

AND most important, wisdom. We are in very dire times since we have a lot of knowledge but many, the "dominating" secular culture are not valuing truth, beauty, and wisdom. Many would include God in that.

[@RealDaveTheFreak]

Found myself here: In kindergarten I was told everyday how I was worthless, bad, evil etc. by my kindergarten teacher. Everything was always my fault. Told that to friends later in life and they all said I was too young to have any effect. The result: Burn-Out, Anxiety, Depression at 22 during studying. Tried subconsciously to prove myself, did everything, helped fellow students, couldn't say no. Completely overdid it. Once anxiety had been diagnosed, I told my therapist about kindergarten and her jaw dropped. She told me that during that time, the effects are the worst. That my current behavior of overdoing everything, working too hard etc. all came from back then... took years to get back on track, but no I have learned so much through therapy and I am a better person for it.

[@dri748]

My dad called me those names throughout my life. I'm 55 and it still effects me. I need to stop letting it.

[@ruthanna4713]

Well done. Sometimes total collapse of self can open doors to for instance healing or self contemplation. Tough to go through so young... But perhaps lucky to deal with it so early in life, so that the rest of life won't suck as much 🖤

[@s.muller8688]

2 monks on a rainy day walk along a beautiful mountain range and river towards their destination, when they approach a crossover towards the other side of the river they see a young woman crying. They stop and one of the monks asks her very politely, what is wrong dear lady, why are you crying. Well, i have to cross over to get to my new home but i am not able to swim and to poor to buy a boat or even a ticket.The monk who spoke to her told her that he can carry her to the other side and does so. Once on the other side he puts her down and she is very grateful for that help. the 2 monks follow their road and after 2 days the younger monks looks at the older one and asks, why did you pick up that woman and carry her 2 days ago? you know we are not allowed to have contact with any females according to our believes. The elder monk smiles and looks at him and say's, i did pick her up and i toke her over that river but i finally put her down and life went on, you on the other hand dear friend.....are still carrying her after 2 days.

[@vinskra]

You’re so strong for enduring that and I’m glad you see the growth you may have missed out on without that harsh childhood experience.

[@700kida5]

Jesus will help you bro no doubt search for him

[@carynmartin6053]

I absolutely adore Lex! I absorbe every word on every podcast like it was oxygen and h2o!

[@epi2045]

He’s extremely humble. He is in the artificial intelligence field at a very high level and holds a Phd in computer science. Currently he’s a research scientist at MIT. Technically it’s Dr Lex Fridman.

[@10ison]

I'm a contemporary classical composer and the topic of envy and transforming it into an admiration for those who are better than you or more accomplished, is so helpful to hear.

[@ninjacat508]

👏 👏 👏

[@zoeweston6266]

totally agree with you that humility serves me much better than pride . thank you for this awesome interview!

[@RuuuudVanNistlerooy]

Man, not sure what my evenings work would be without Lex. Another excellent episode.

[@dianedean4170]

Thanks so much, Lex, for sharing your podcasts. Your approach to discussions is both very insightful and genuinely compassionate. I appreciate how you let your listeners know the importance of networking with peers. Specifically, your hosting Dr. Andrew Huberman opens up the human experience with amazing depths of intelligence. Stay well and enjoy your day 😃

[@joyce_morales_cht]

I just want to take a second to say thank you for having this interview. The general population has little understanding of genuine narcissism. Their thought processes are so different, extreme, and disturbing that the average person initially responds in denial. They are exceptional liars and as long as it benefits them, they will pretend to be whoever/whatever they think you want. My ex-husband was diagnosed NPD. I had the misfortune of witnessing him construct a completely new persona after he had a month long stay at the psych ward. It blows your mind when you realize you never knew someone. It escalated after that and he grew violent because I wouldn't comply. Thanks be to God, that I got out when & how I did. Being that he was on the board of directors for the domestic abuse shelters in the area, he effectively blocked me from every resource possible. They play chess with people & with their lives. It took me a long time to put myself back together. Anyway, my point in sharing all of this that recovery is possible. I won't lie and say its easy. Its not... but it is possible. I've dedicated my practice to helping others recover too.

[@jacquelincran3134]

If only we can open our hearts and minds beyond the trauma we experience in relationship Thankyou for sharing Courage is necessary + curiousity to discover new whloesome ways of being in the world

[@joyce_morales_cht]

@@diogenes. , thank you. You will have to forgive me but I’m not concerned with wether or not people find me attractive. Sure, there is sadness but not for myself. My greater concern is with the mental health of individuals, how they influence others, and ultimately influence society. Like they mentioned in the podcast, it might be beneficial to have more social-emotional learning in our schools. Some interventions, but also there is the politics of how to implement them without intruding on free will & parental authority, etc. We’re also in a time where Gen-X is middle aged and we more or less raised ourselves. Studies and surveys are reporting that men are increasing unhappy as more women are choosing to stay single. It seems that people are struggling to know & experience love. So we default to a sort of selfish-hedonism that is ultimately unfulfilling. It’s with that in mind, that my hypnotherapy practice centers around helping people heal these wounds… because healing is better for everyone. Beauty or the lack thereof, has little to do with it. Many blessings to you.

[@dillonreichel191]

I appreciate you sharing. Congratulations on getting through the suffering and taking your life back. I can relate and It feels insurmountable. Wishing I had a fast forward button myself right now but realizing/having faith that recovery isn’t only possible but happening slowly everyday is encouraging. See ya on the other side 🙏

[@joyce_morales_cht]

Hi @@dillonreichel191 thank you, that is very kind. You're right it can feel insurmountable at times. Living with a narcissist will distort your perception of self and your safety in the world. I am sorry that you had to endure it but I am proud of you for being committed to healing! I hope you are working through this with someone where you feel safe expressing what you have been through and explore the limiting beliefs that came out of it. Hypnosis is helpful in re-writing our internal narrative. I always incorporate Integral Eye Movement Therapy (to reprocess memories in a way that unpairs it from the associated emotions) and somatic work. I don't know where you are in your journey but if you are open and ready to try somatic work take a look at EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) tapping. Its best to do it with a practitioner at first, but it stimulates the ventral vagus nerve that run through the head, face, and vital organs. Its a quick and effective technique that you can learn to down-regulate the stress response. An added benefit of this technique is that it generalizes over time so that you are less triggered in the future by similar events. I'll post a link below if you are interested in reading a systematic review and meta-analysis. Best wishes to you on your healing journey! pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/27843054/

[@cyndeetaylor]

You're so right and I appreciate you sharing this. My ex-husband NPD. While in the relationship, I had no idea what was going on with him, and none of my well-intentioned friends/family knew either. At one point, I was told by a therapist that I needed to "try harder to be forgiving." I'm no longer angry at her for prolonging my misery but, obviously, education is sorely needed even in that profession. I finally understood that getting out was vital to my survival. Only later did I learn about NPD because I showed up in a therapist's office saying "I don't know what train just ran over me but I want to make sure it never hits me again." She quickly helped me understand the definition of the "train." I would describe my recovery as re-building my immune system. Yes, it is an arduous process. Although most still don't understand the meaning of true narcissism, I find it gratifying that the topic is finally being discussed openly. Blessings to you and your practice.

[@laurettaleone6482]

Lex, you ask very honest questions, that most do not bring up. Example, how does someone find a therapist when THEY, themselves are in a bad place? Thanks to you and Paul for doing such an important video.

[@danilo.castelli]

I think Lex's juvenile disagreements made it more easy for Paul to clarify his points. Wise man.

[@igy648]

This podcast made my head hurt trying to figure out what my motivation was for watching it. LoL. Lex always goes so deep into every rabbit hole I love it

[@raphaelmeillat8527]

After hundreds of amazing conversations, I’m still amazed at Lex’s ability to set up ever better conversations. This is one of my favorites. Paul Conti comes across as such a beautiful person!

[@robinwilliamsdaniels1716]

It's amazing how conversations like this one label and terms such things that I come into a knowledge of through feeling, vision, and energy. We all have our talents and we need each other in this way. It's like a filter system. Like playing music without written notes first, then there comes someone who can write down the notes of my music. Then I have to learn how one writes notes for others to understand. I ❤️ love conversations like this because it's interpreting my music into an understandable language to others. And I must add that this makes my music tangible to me.

[@1yanyiel]

Beautifully put! To literally follow what you described, this is an idea that I actually have thought about. Which is that there are some people in society which “articulate” or “make sense” or “put into words” all types of human thought, emotion, behaviour, feeling, etc. In a sense we are all mirrors to each other, we understand ourselves through each other continuously and even this conversation is part of that. Beautiful stuff!

[@nellkellino-miller7673]

@@1yanyiel Yeah, realising the degree to which we are all interdependent if we want to make deeper sense of the world... changed my life. I used to think I could do it alone. Or at least I wanted to think that, all the while using words that countless anonymous ancestors of mine generated and evolved hundreds or even thousands of years ago.

[@kellydoyle7701]

I feel like Lex so wants to not just believe but Know that there is truly more to life then what the eyes can see as he gets deeper and deeper into the world he lives in filled with AI. He represents so many that are afraid to go down the depths of 'the reality' to see or find your personal perception which may be radically different than what you've been told. Great conversations. Thank you

[@ChristopherDavidMoyer]

I would have loved to have had Paul as a therapist years ago after having my first manic experience and being labeled Bipolar 1. 50 hospitalizations and 25 years later, I never seemed to find anyone that could really understand my mental states, and the answer I always got was- just take your meds and everything will be fine. There's so much that goes on in the unconscious mind, and something just tells me that Mr. Conti could have "got" me and gotten through to me. P.S. - Lex, have you ever considered interviewing one of the many people who have interviewed scores of people who have had life changing near death experiences, and came back from the other side with stories of heaven, hell, angels, etc? I know it's not widely accepted scientifically, but it is definitely a growing field, and I think your viewers may find it to be a fascinating interview.

[@lunaluvsya]

Simply giving people the chance to take an extra second of your time goes a long way. I can't number the times people have apologized for this. Simply stating that I'm in no hurry (even if I was) has brought a calming sensation to many interactions

[@Earthwalkharmony]

This man is so graceful, soft spoken and insightful. I really enjoyed listening.

[@Teo-uw7mh]

Lex is killing it with the guests lately!

[@JLongTom]

Lex has always killed it with the guests. The big question is what the "it" is that they kill together.

[@jannichi6431]

Yes, but kinda miss the STEM👏All good with Lex's depth.

[@tat2jaytee]

This is my second time watching this interview. Thank you for bringing us this knowledge. I want to be a better person for myself, and others.

[@eric.sobczak]

Robert Heinlein best author ever, Stranger in a Strange Land is brilliant. Read it sooner than later Lex. So many of his other books have sociological gifts for us as well. Love you podcasts brilliance, goodness, exploring the mind, familiarity with AI and more. Thank you for what you do.

[@carwai]

My favorite author for many, many years.

[@TruthAndJustice463]

Great conversation! Emotional healthcare has been in decline for decades, and sadly, Obamacare was the final nail in the coffin. In the area where I live, an appointment with a psychiatrist can't be found. I'm a Vet (21 Years, non-combat), and I have very good insurance on top of Tricare. I'm also willing to just pay for care outright if needed. No appointments can be had. It's sad for me, but it breaks my heart that other people that are in need, sometimes great need, can't find care.

[@VladaldTrumptin]

That is truly disgraceful. Makes you wonder what your local representatives are paid for when this basic & fundamental public service isn’t available in the community.

[@dh40]

David, Thank you for serving our country. I am moved by your comments and needs. I agree, anyone who was hoping Mental Health would be, finally, better addressed by Obamacare are definitely disappointed. Why are we always last to realize actual benefits, which in some cases would save lives, let alone improve our lives. In my 20s, I was diagnosed with a rather severe mental issue and have been under the care of psychiatrists for years & will be the rest of my life. I am lucky in that I live in an area where it is possible to find a good doctor. I have always had to pay out of pocket for my psychiatrists. I don't know what I'd do if I couldn't get help. I feel for you. So I was wondering, not knowing you, would it be possible for you to get a referral to a doctor perhaps from the closest large medical center(s) seeking a doctor that could work with you remotely? I have heard of people doing this and sometimes the remote psychiatrist will work with the person's local physician in order to prescribe & test for any prescribed medication. Remote therapy definitely increased in many areas, countries during COVID. Whatever you do, I wish you all the best. Kindest regards, Liz

[@TruthAndJustice463]

@@dh40 Thank you for the kind words. I saw my neurologist yesterday and he set up an appointment with a psychiatrist in another city. I'm thankful that you were able to find care.

[@dh40]

@@TruthAndJustice463 Wonderful David! Good Luck and take good care! Liz

[@gotdangedcommiesitellyahwa6298]

Thank you for your service. Sorry you experienced that, but you're absolutely right. As someone with chronic health issues my entire life, I've about given up on these so-called medical "experts". A lot of places now also don't even accept single payer patients. I hope things work out for you.

[@LeviAndFriends111]

I’m not the smartest person in the world but I love the conversations you has. Thank you Lex.

[@gih3297]

"Had"

[@Acezx15]

@@gih3297 "have"

[@mnemetotoro]

@@gih3297 *have or have had

[@sharynmain2432]

You don’t have to be… most aren’t. But you were here listening and learning…. That’s the main thing😮

[@chahalpawanpreet]

Love your podcasts, Lex. It makes me feel grounded to Earth and allows me to accept myself as I am. Something about your perspective makes everything okay

[@morganwebster6636]

So so good. Dr. Paul Conti is for sure in my top favorite humans. What an amazing person. Thank you.

[@edamameedamame1202]

Humbled and realize what type of personality I’m dealing with. Thank you Dr Conti. 🧠🌈💜

[@mariealexa9670]

You're part of my daily bread, Lex. Thanks for highlighting Paul Conti's explanation of the Narcissist personality.

[@adele1260]

One of your best, Lex. 🥰 At the end of the day, it's our choice. It's our daily choice. To choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances. 💯 Bravo! 👏

[@frantsel5711]

That was absolutely incredible! Thank you so much, its so important to speak more about the importance of trauma!

[@VoiceForTheSilenced]

Men with emotional intelligence make me feel safe. It’s so nice to see that consistently displayed on this podcast.

[@VaderHades]

Intelligent, respectful intellectuals sitting in front of another, even in disagreement still beautifully finding common grounds to debate on. Awesome to watch this, and a lot to learn, i'll have to watch a second time :D. Good job dude, thank you for these conversations and questions, we would never be able to ask without you, you are the bridge to the knowledge we lack. Thank you!

[@titapelot9121]

This conversation is so very deep & explorational... lets have more of this!! Its great you both met!!!

[@GudieveNing]

Alas, I have several narcissists in my circle and it is awful. I'm shy and reserved, and they do their best to shut me down when I shine brighter through accomplishment. It's thanks to people like Paul and others who have channels on the subject on KZbin that I have become enlightened to this issue and learn how to deal with it. Can be debilitating to be the victim of a narcissist. The term "sticks and stones break my bones" does not apply in this case, the words really can cause tangible harm.

[@james3876]

Said another way you're someone's beta, and you add to that someone's status by hanging around them as a follower(and providing company) while generally benefitting yourself because they have to be fun, provide a sense of security/competitiveness, make the game plans. Maybe not your situation at all, but if it was ofcourse they're gonna push back against anything that makes them feel threatened and uncertain. Or maybe that's all wrong and you're just getting unwanted opportunities to stand up for yourself. Exhausting stuff til it becomes second nature

[@Name-vo1ky]

Look up Sam Vaknin for more on Narcissism

[@jordanlyon3850]

@james3876 That may be an over generalization of the dynamics of a specific friend group. From what I gather, people with “narcissistic personalities” whether “friends” or “superiors” tend to make every decision through the prism “does this add value to my life?” Whether that be at their own expense, or the expense of another. If there’s any alpha/beta relationship, the parasitic behavior of the narcissist is evidence of exploitation of a person who has something the narcissist envies. I would go so far as to say that narcissists are never the alpha unless they succeed in bringing others down for their benefit. Then and only then do they acquire the attention, money, and resources necessary to climb that social ladder. The narcissists typically never do it alone. For example, what great inventor was a full blown psychopath? Einstein, Tesla, Feynman, Hawking, and plenty of others could seldom be considered truly self serving. It is true, that sociopathic types do have a fundamental nature that enables them to succeed in society, but only so far in most cases. I reckon, most of the time they DO succeed is due to some other traits, rather than evil itself doing the heavy lifting for them. The honest, hardworking intellectual is pretty much unstoppable in any fair fight, but life isn’t fair and that’s what gives the “dark personalities” the advantage from time to time. In a company, sports team, or generally any social situation, the person who only looks out for themself will attract the love and attention of well, themselves. Those who look out for others, tend to attract others. How many times have you had a job where the boss didn’t care about you at all and you stayed? I bet that number is zero, alpha or not.

[@clumsydad7158]

the explanation of narcissists as those warped by envy to overcome their own self-disappointment and lack of value was insightful, yet in a way likely only scratched the surface on how many act out and are relentlessly unsatisfied while trying to dysfunctionally mask their inner depravity. grey rocking is a strategy to ignore and defuse somewhat this behavior, but yes it's a continual frustration/annoyance to deal with toxic people

[@TheMissionLog]

KZbin (and the internet in general) has been the biggest help to me in regards to understand and recovering from narcisstic abuse. I am so grateful for all the people on KZbin who are educating and empowering people like you and I. I hope you're doing well and good luck on the rest of your journey! Just keep processing through everything and you'll heal more and more :)

[@hopefull2070]

Thanks so much, Lex and Paul for this incredible conversation! 🔥❣️🔥I've learned , resonated and felt inspired by these, close to home topics... I couldn't help but feel emotional as I listened. Thank you.. Emotions allow us to venture and explore , throw caution to the winds and sail high on the passion's of what is ingrained deep within our soul.

[@melvipais]

Great interview! Loved how Paul commands respect after he handles the first few Jabs that Lex threw at him!

[@TeacherMom80]

BEAUTIFUL conversation! 🤗 Thank YOU, Lex! 🙏🏼 Peace be with you all & may God bless the soul of Dr. Conti's brother. 💞

[@luizs.f5305]

You're just getting better and better Lex... We love you brotha!

[@Romie15]

Thank you!! ❤Great episode! I love Paul Conti! I find his voice so relaxing and caring. I also really, really appreciate his capacity to make complex concepts easy to understand.

[@carolmartin8781]

Excellent video. I learned something new today about narcissism. I thought envy was only a small part of the disorder, but now I understand its significance. It took me a long time to understand this (decades). This psychiatrist knows what he's talking about. Thank you for sharing this video.

[@jamesmccarren3857]

Dear LF, your podcasts are invaluable and a joy! .. thank you. .. the diversity (of content), obvious goodwill, and intellectual grit are a few of the phenomena, indeed manifestations, that are missing from our national (even global) culture. I tell everyone I know (who is prepared) about your podcasts. Please keep going.

[@keileighmather7056]

wow, this spoke to me on a deep level. i always viewed envy as the lesser type and jealously being more of the ugly type. you know youve grown as a person when you see a pretty woman and think "shes beatiful, i love her hair" instead of "bitch"...ive had to consiously chnage my perception at times, even giving people the compliment to reinforce it more...feels so much better empowering a person then it does dragging them down.

[@TheSteinbitt]

Strong incel vibes

[@andrewb8235]

OP has a female name and she was talking about envy and jealousy, not the anger that comes from frustrated desire leading to resentment and anger. Women are competitive with each other.

[@keileighmather7056]

Yes, I'm a 31 year old woman with 2 kids, I'm an definitely not an incel 🤣

[@Roatanlova68fmp71lliiiak]

​@@TheSteinbittdude, you just proved her point brilliantly 😅

[@single_dad_of3]

when people you love are committed to misunderstanding you. Silence speaks louder than words

[@deedhesi8014]

Wow, what a phenomenal point.

[@waveforthefrequencies]

This was a fantastic flow of compassion.

[@sylviaowega3839]

Oh crap, that brought tears to my eyes hearing about Paul Congo’s brother committing suicide. My very fist born nephew, Calvin, committed suicide back in 2018, and now in2023 my brother and his wife are still mourning over it. I never incipiently thought that this sort of extreme tragedy could have never befall our own family. I also know about all the guilt that suddenly came down my brother’s mind like a dark cloud hovering over him.

[@bonnie3937]

I cannot imagine the pain of losing a child. I lost my husband suddenly in a plane crash. The worst pain I have ever endured. 20 years later and I miss him everyday. The pain never leaves, but I focus on the good memories and being grateful for experiencing such a close love and happy marriage. But to lose a child would be even more devastating. To lose your child to suicide would be nearly unbearable. Yet, parents endure having a child missing or murdered. Only faith could keep you going and the love for your loved ones. And, helping others. That is healing in itself.

[@sylviaowega3839]

@@bonnie3937 Losing a child to suicide is so devastating, more so to a car crash, or cancer, and such, because of the guilt that is involved. As a parent one blames himself for not raising a happy child.

[@Ln-cq8zu]

I'm soooo sorry, it's hard to know what to say in these circumstances, I'm sure no one judges your brother. But I understand how much pain he must feel. The only thing that comes to my mind that might help is that at least your nephew is no longer in psychological pain. This world isn't for everyone.

[@papillonseal6093]

Lex Friedman. Thank YOU for existing and I love your mind, attitude and genius. Welcome to Texas. I’m 63 and truly love your suit and tie style and extreme handsomeness. ❤️🤩🤠

[@igunashiodesu]

1:47:48 "Misery is wasted on the miserable." I had a different reading about that scene. To me it's about getting to a point that even feeling miserable is akin to feeling alive, because life itself wears one so much that there comes a point when you just stop caring. Meaning that, if you're suffering a heartbreak, at least, you're still invested on the experience of life. Once that's gone, well I don't know how you can keep carrying on.

[@LazyEinstein]

Wow! This is one of the best conversations I've ever listened to in my entire life. Well done on this one, Lex.

[@maxslave660]

Possibly one of the best conversations so far with Lex. (In my opinion) I would appreciate more mental heath content. GABOR MATE. 🙏

[@dianestrong4086]

I agree. Gabor Mate where has he been all of my life? He has observed many like me and he knows us well. I listen to Paul Conti on Andrew Huberman's podcast (Stanford University, Neuroscientist) before I listen to Gabor Mate. Paul Conti's definition of trauma changing (your) brain registered. Gabor Mate has helped me name my emotional reactions. The main trauma has been America's socialized effects on my ethnic encuturation. My culture doesn't use words like stress, or depression easily. Andrew Huberman is helping me understand the biochemical effects and reactions of a traumatized brain. Things Gabor Mate describes the emotions he has lived as many other humans.

[@carlkoster4900]

This could be the best podcast episode ever made. Thank you Lex.

[@ifstatementifstatement2704]

"I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made: marvellous are thy works; and that my soul knoweth right well" (Psalm 139:14)

[@jant4741]

Dr Conti is such a good listener (which is what really makes a good conversation).

[@purblueple]

I love this episode! this podcast in general but this one in particular

[@gabrielaradu2970]

I haven't finished reading his book yet, but I can already tell that there is a lot to learn from it. Thank you.

[@benwalker1492]

This is very interesting! I have been submitting many requests to Andrew to speak on this topic. Much respect for addressing it!

[@AlbertoBalsalme]

Huberman and Paul Conti have an episode together that has been out for a little while!

[@benwalker1492]

@@AlbertoBalsalme can you link me, please?

[@AlbertoBalsalme]

@@benwalker1492 alright, from experience it's rarely successful trying to share a direct link in KZbin comments, so I'll try a few approaches. 1st, here's the vid I mentionned youtu. be/IOl28gj_RXw I've deleted what goes before the "youtu(...)" that makes it a link - {hoping it will prevent the platform from blocking my comment (no idea why they do that)} - & I've put a space between the "youtu & .be" core of the link as an additionnal tentative to have my comment reach you without going missing ~ just copy the link I've included up there and pull it all together by removing the [Space] between youtu[ ].be - then you should be good! I hate how messy and complicated they can make it to share links from their own platform on the comment section, it's ririculous to me and feels very arbitrary since it seems to only be enforced some portions of the time, while some people have no prob sharing links through comments.

[@benwalker1492]

@@AlbertoBalsalme Brother, you are so precious. You went through all this when you could've sent the title of the video. Much respect! I will watch this soon. Thank you!

[@xeniastefanescu507]

Lex , if this conversation was so good, it is because you both are completely sincere, honest,,you show your shadows and your vulnerabilities, . You do not try to present yourself in a bright light, almost perfect, but you did not fall in this trap, like people in the churches, who show themselves perfect , kind of saints.,, which is not realistic,,and make anyone else feel inferior,unworthy, sinful. It is so interesting , and you touched so many important points. I loved it

[@platoman214]

“The only wisdom we can hope to acquire Is the wisdom of humility: humility is endless." T.S. Eliot

[@lordbacon4972]

I made the decision long ago it is easier to be alone than to be ambushed by envy/jealousy.

[@clumsydad7158]

Friendship is always a risk, trust and vulnerability is an openness ... when we've been thru a trauma of betrayal or broken trust, etc. it is hard to get beyond. And yes, unfortunately a lot of people thrive on drama and confusion. When it's all boiled down, it's best to have a handful of trusted friends.

[@badcornflakes6374]

“I am I and my circumstance; and, if I do not save it, I do not save myself”. - Ortega y Gasset

[@dunk1089]

if u listen to this w your eyes closed, it sounds like Lex is talking to a different Lex who is much more excited

[@kylebrady3651]

Lol can't unhear it and I'm at the start

[@linnea5166]

Yea Lex is kind of low vibe

[@lynnmarie1943]

Yes...I thought that too!

[@AshAndCream]

Ahhahahahahahaha

[@AshAndCream]

​@@kylebrady3651same. Damnit!

[@martinlatvian5538]

I do study psychology for decades. So passionate I did pay money to University for few years to learn more. A must is to study basic physiology and biology along psychology. My favorite subject is psychosomatics. I really did want to help other people. Later I found myself building fireplaces and renovating old buildings, but often in my life I meet sad pople and We listen and talk. My goal always is to motivate the human beeing to love it self. You will never understand Yourself more than You understand others. Same with love.

[@nellkellino-miller7673]

Perspective is a wonderful thing. Zoom out, zoom in. Listen and learn.

[@ChristopherGrey1327]

One of the best human interactions I have seen on here in a while. Excellent.

[@charlesputnam9370]

I had great trauma in my young life . I was depressed and angry very jealous person. I drank and did drugs. I got in trouble with the law. I decided to get clean . I read a bunch of philosophy and psychology books. I discovered my main problem was envy. I would not say I am completely well but I have been sober for 35 years. I am aware when I start to go in wrong direction. I do feel a great deal of empathy but I do not hate anyone. Self consciousness is the key to getting well. Just like Plato say know yourself. Knowledge of your self. Why do I feel the way I do. If you get angry that is when you need self reflection.

[@bryandraughn9830]

Introspect is a popular idea but it doesn't occur to us naturally and it's a very difficult thing to do. I think there's a lot more to it than just looking at ourselves. We need to translate what we're looking at from the weird perspective of being the thing that's looking at itself from the inside. I found that my own version of myself was a series of assumptions. Most of which were terribly inaccurate. I'm probably still doing it wrong but with some improvements I've developed over time. It seems like a lot of words are like that. We know the definition but learning how to do something with it is a whole different story.

[@Dazdillinger101]

Yeah but have you ever tried dmt ?

[@charlesputnam9370]

@@bryandraughn9830 Self awareness is without a doubt very difficult. Plato says it's the most important knowledge a person can have. It saved my life. I got a paper book copy of Will Durant's The Story of Philosophy when I was 17 i read a lot of Philosophy for years. When I was 30 I read Spinoza's ethics it allowed me to see what was good and bad in my life . I have spent the last 38 years trying to improve the good. I am 68 years old and still working for a large farming operation. Trying to help my daughter that has a lot of trauma in her life. Her mother died from Morfans and she has had numerous heart surgeries. I am her pilar of stability in a troubled life.

[@warrenjp]

Whimsical: As a podcast listener, I had to check into the YT channel here in order to confirm that Lex wasn’t just having a conversation with himself. Lex and Paul sound remarkably similar.

[@TheMissionLog]

Lol! This is my favorite comment in here

[@J0hnGustafson]

That’s exactly why I’m checking this video right now 😂

[@carolmartin8781]

I agree.

[@jcastillo81]

Yes! I came to the comments to see if anyone else noticed!

[@18_rabbit]

wow i really have no concept of what u mean at all. To me they sound in many ways, like from two differnt universes.

[@freeearthcitizen7601]

"Evil" has to be defined. Its when we intentionally treat others badly - to such a degree that we instinctively know that it violates the natural, universal law of love. It then causes guilt and self-hatred, which results in further disconnecting ourselves from universal love. A downward cycle.

[@chrisd1172]

I think it's more then intention.There must also be something to be attained by the action,ie feelings ,emotions, power or reward . For intentional maltreatment could happen through ignorance,sickness ,perhaps even righteousness. Ps not to knock your statement Love is the way forward I'm with you on that much it's just evil and love are both necessary to have a upward cycle to strive for

[@arikabearika]

Lex gets caught up on this linear connection between jealousy envy and Evil. It's understandable. But, as a person who has studied mental health I think it's really important to normalize as wide range of human feelings as possible. I think suppressing something like jealousy because you feel that it would lead to envy leads to many more problems than accepting that the feeling that you would like to have something that someone else has is normal and should not cause alarm or spark drastic intervention. When you're not just studying the human mind but trying to help people these types of distinctions become very important. Lex is kind of looking at it from a pure academic standpoint. This is one of the fascinating things about psychology to me. There's a definite dance between the academic Pursuit and the practical. You have to want to study but you have to keep your feet on the ground where people actually live.

[@Nando_lifts2021]

Such a rewarding podcast. Lex and Dr. Conti do an awesome job at explaining humanness. I'm better for listening!

[@badcornflakes6374]

José Ortega y Gasset: “yo soy yo y mi circunstancia y si no la salvo a ella no me salvo yo.”

[@clumsydad7158]

Another great episode - the insights on envy, narcissism and pride were excellent and enlightening. Also reaffirming our basic reliance on emotion and conversation as humans to interact, make sense of things, and continually attempt to thrive in healthy ways.

[@zachtaylor226]

Hey Lex, could you ask for book recommendations from the amazing guests you get to interview at the end of your conversation?

[@WilliamKubischta]

This would be great!!

[@TheMissionLog]

@@WilliamKubischta Good idea!

[@c1111]

Being curious of your own tendencies toward emotional regression / areas where you have arrested development will improve your quality of life drastically.

[@paulalorrainepavanis7686]

Finally hope. Sadly too often psych experts seem unable to reliably, such as exampled in this 3+ hour conversation without a trace of it, put aside knowledge to focus on humanity. Conti's humility, and Lex's too rings through like a welcome silver bell of healing. Huberman as well. Brilliance tempered by humility=the best humanity has to offer. An unstoppable source for goodness. I once had a therapist tell me I was the type of client who would benefit most from studying psych myself. I never stop learning and growing on that path and podcasts such as yours provide deep enrichment in this wondrous journey we call life. Many many thanks.

[@leslielandberg5620]

In this conversation, I am deeply, and instantly, struck by the realization that Dr. Conti meditates - and that Lex Friedman does not. If Lex Friedman did have a meditation practice, he would understand that there is no effort of mentality that is involved in the perception of the workings of one's own mind, but rather one of pure intuition, instant, and often effortless, realization.

[@jamesembrey3100]

A good parent teaches their child how capable and beautiful they are. And therefore how unneeded envy is. Good Parenting is the solution.

[@jacquelincran3134]

True +good mentoring also vital

[@james3876]

Or maybe teach them that it's ok to be mediocre, I mean, teach them to work with what they've got instead of blowing up their heads with expectations and overinflated egos

[@jamesembrey3100]

@@james3876 every child is capable of SOMETHING and every child should be beautiful to its parents, so my point stands

[@james3876]

​@@jamesembrey3100Mediocre and ugly kids still deserve love and investment, AS mediocre and ugly kids, not through some delusional lense of superiority or beauty. People don't need to be special to be worth caring about.

[@Jsgro69]

Great podcast, Dr. Conti was very easy to listen to by using very few $60k words while im sure he has plenty at his disposal. Lex, you are an excellent interviewer and host, you remain who you are and you bring great content to your viewers. you seem wise beyond your years and i always enjoy your shows and your point of view. keep up the great work👋👋🤔

[@loribell6646]

Just getting started on this podcast and once again, Lex, if you have not read, "Lila: An Inquiry into Morals" by Robert Pirsig, I really, really, think you would be blown away by it. Pirsig has a unique perspective on all the different "levels" you're discussing here in the first few minutes of this podcast. I would Love to hear your response to Pirsig's "Metaphysics of Quality." Please...🙏😌

[@loribell6646]

For instance - references to "novelty" seem linked to Pirsig's "Dynamic Quality."

[@MarkS-23]

I will check it out, thanks! This interview was amazing.

[@erykfit]

the OG author... zen and the art of motorcycle maintenance.

[@loribell6646]

@@erykfit Have read both. Still feel Lila has more "grounded" (rather than "abstract") implications and cultural relevance.

[@MetaMM]

At 1.27. 20 - 1.33.00 - that's moi Dr. Conti is describing. He's so spot on to me, every word of it! Thank you, Dr and thanks for this conversation at length.

[@baronmorris]

Definitely in my top 5 episodes I've listened to so far! Damn well done.