What to Consider When Hitting on Your Bartender

You sit down at the bar, have a few drinks, get to some chatting and you’ll be damned if you don’t think that there’s a real connection with the bartender serving you. They’re asking you questions! They’re laughing at your jokes! They’re really flirting here! So you start getting the bright idea that you should ask them out. Well, before you go through with it, make sure to watch this video. We gathered America’s best bartenders to find out how you should go about hitting on your bartender. Most importantly, they discuss the signals you should look for to make sure you don’t confuse flirting with them just doing their job well.
Bartenders, in order of appearance:
Killian Oliver, Lynnette Marrero, Charles Joly, Lisa Palmer, Eric Bugosh, C.J. Nielsen, Pam Wiznitzer, Karen Grill, Alex Day, Julia Momose, Gillian White, Sam Parrie, Bobby Heugel, Yael Vengroff, Sly Augustin and Erick Castro
Producer, Director & Writer: Jeremy Repanich
Directors of Photography: Jenna Morse and Lee Fritz
Coordinating Producer: Alyson Sheppard
Editor: Backlot Digital
Executive Producer: Brian Berkowitz
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[@NoBunIntended]

I've definitely brought home a bartender and actually dated for awhile. Talk to who you want, feel the vibe, not that big of a deal. People are people.

[@Trey_W]

💯

[@HelloBombshell21]

You’re probably normal and not insanely creepy / transient

[@9531-d7w]

I married my favorite bartender. I think the secret (because it worked for us) is to become friends first, find out a little about each other. Don't ruin a good bartender/regular customer relationship with something that could turn out to be embarrassing.

[@HelloBombshell21]

You’re probably normal and not insanely creepy / transient

[@Angel-zp9ks]

When the bartender starts buying you shots, asks you to stay after closing and starts making out with you after you two clean up, it's safe to say you really don't need to pick up on the bartender when she will definitely pick up on you if she wants to

[@camevins1682]

This will happen this weekend lmao! 😂😂😂

[@Kamamura2]

A quote from the Witcher books comes to mind: "The working girls tried to attract the rich guests while at the same time discourage and repel the poor ones."

[@miriamdavis2988]

I would say im a semi regular. Its been about a year since my crush bartender guy caught my attention. He is very flirty but ye is also really sweet. He goes out of his way to make u feel welcomed but yes, i noticed thats his stradegy. Recently, i wrote my number on my receipt and never got a text/call so I knew he just doesnt see me in that way. I was hurt amd didnt want to go back. I ended up last sunday there and i just didn't sit in his section. He saw me going to the bathroom and said hello with his usual happy to see me face. When i returned from the bathroom he called me over and told me i looked really good. I simply smiled and said thank you as i walked away. He is just a nice guy who sadly isnt into me. So im trying to not take it personal and move on.

[@sikckaputten]

"shitcanned" is an interesting term for being drunk

[@milkshake2022]

I use it for both

[@akasgsvirgil9503]

The best way to know if a bartender is in to you is when you wake up in the morning and she's still there.

[@vminhope3040]

😂😂😂

[@321rudyp]

Lord please help these women realize they ain’t all that. First off we drunk, second it’s dark in here, third we trying to get free drinks. Cheers an keep up the good work

[@Trey_W]

😂😂😂

[@FloorManiac]

I grew up in New Orleans. At one point, all of my friends were bar tenders. Forget flirting. It was hard to even have a conversation while theyre working. I hated visiting friend's bars. Theyd be like "hey come hang out while I work". fuck that.

[@MrBeatboxmasta]

I NEVER hit on someone while they're working. It's not even about me either. It's about not putting them in a position where they have to be super nice to you because they are working, but still shut you down. That's just an awkward position in which to put them.

[@colinmartin9797]

I asked out a waitress successfully once. I went in 4 or 5 times and was getting a very pleasant, attentive vibe from her, left my number on the receipt asking her for coffee, got a call an hour later. Didn't last very long, but it was successful! I hate strip clubs and bars because faux pleasant-ness is just irritating to me. I hate people on a script no matter where I am. Even as a medic, I do have a few go-to jokes, but I make a strong point of having a personal conversation with every patient that wants one, and I never feign interest or just nod along (unless they're insane or intoxicated enough to need an ambulance.) I had a suicidal 15 year old girl today in my ambulance. I didn't give her a script, I told her about my experience with suicidal thoughts and depression and what I found that helped. I do have the luxury of only having to deal with one person at a time, however, but I also hate crowds where I'm just one of a hundred meaningless human beings.

[@ponymaster2939]

Tmi

[@vminhope3040]

I love TMIs ADHD brain can relate to

[@validatemyexistence4602]

Woah there let me squash the stripper myth with one step. 1) Cocaine

[@RJMacReady1]

I think that particular 1-step guide is applicable to most things in life.

[@DarlinAlex]

You know

[@montecarlo4294]

Yes yes and yes. "You won't ever take the stripper home with you". Biggest myth ever. Money and coke talk. End of story

[@michaelmarkle5133]

And you get pet crabs or the herpes...

[@kyzor-sosay6087]

Ecstasy works too.

[@TheBioethicist]

Let me redo this video in 3 seconds: Don't. S/he is working.

[@aram00001]

nah

[@samflynn97]

As if you never like to get hit on during work.

[@thisismyalias]

Thanks for saving my time. Let me tip you some iota!

[@babylonianbackup9112]

2018 -can't hit on people at work -can't hit on people on the street -can't hit on ppl in coffee shops

[@Viroh]

@@samflynn97 Listen, bartending is a busy job. Yea it was funny the few first times when girls hit on you during your shift, but you don´t really have time to flirt. You are being paid to work, not chill and flirt and fuck. Get it?

[@tvane1225]

False.. I have taken a stripper home. And true I did Regret it.

[@Dinglebarriez]

So have I. Didn't regret it. Dated one. Regretted that.

[@tvane1225]

Preach!!!

[@LTDanno360mods]

i was going the say the same ! she lived in the house behind me lol

[@TheWillManuel]

Taken a couple home...no regrets.

[@tvbnine793]

Do you mind telling us the story

[@mikeandyholloway]

How to hit on someone who's job practically guarantees they're hit on all night long? Don't. It's pretty obvious when a bartender is actually treating you differently. This is cringy like a freshman orientation video.

[@connordebruler3264]

I was only very breifly conventionally handsome, but when I was I did notice how exasperated I became when everyone would chat me up and linger around me. There's a freedom in being partially invisible.

[@n.l.s.e.2202]

If you want to get the real entertainment out of the bar population you be that person that turned down the bartender.

[@bsandey]

I dated a bartender I met while she was working once. But it was not from hitting on her while she was working. It was after being a regular at the bar for a while, and hanging out in a group a couple times before she gave me her number and we dated a couple times.

[@thecircleofgaming]

Well I went home to a bartender once. I was in a fantastic mood and spent about 8 hours at that particular bar and made friends with everyone behind the bar. Then when they were about to close and I was the last person there I kindly gave my number to the female bartender, she walked me to the door and we made out, a little while later once they were all wrapped up she texted me and invited me to her place. I had my mind blown several times over that night.

[@hegzia]

Ive taken a stripper home before...granted it cost me like $300 or so but still I took one home, I've also taken a bartender home end of the night, but it was at a terrible dive bar and she defiantly was nothing to brag about (nor am I but I get lucky sometimes)

[@hegzia]

Joshua Pearce semantics

[@RagingRugbyst]

hegzia nope

[@TheWillManuel]

Are talkin $300 worth of dances, or you got some dances then paid her $300 to go home with you? LolI've taken a couple home and didn't pay for anything outside of dances at the club.

[@abhilashmessi31]

Before or after alderaan?

[@brandonw6139]

The blasters were fully operational huh

[@JacWarner]

Oh god. I’ve had my share of bartender blokes. They’re usually sober at the end of the night. So always a win.

[@Galiuros]

If you're going to be a "regular" at a bar or pub, then there are a few rules to follow. 1) Be polite. 2) Tip well. 3) Don't hit on the waitstaff. The first two reasons are obvious. The third may be the most important. (If you want to come back.) That's because they already know you are interested because of body language and the conversation. And, if they are interested in you, you will know. There will be no doubt. So don't make a fool of yourself.

[@NightsMay]

I write my bartender soft poems in calligraphy, I'm not trying to be flirty with the poems, just trying to be sweet, I know full well that she is showing my poems to all the poeple who work there.

[@matthewhawthorne1370]

Never hitting on a bartender again. Last time I hooked up with a bartender I got stuck with her for 4 years.

[@mantisbiker2537]

Don't mistake a customer flirting with you that you are getting a good tip. Don't take it personal.

[@GhostofCTC]

If she’s hot, be a regular and be that one guy who doesn’t try to hit on her. Pretty soon she’ll wonder why you don’t want her like all the rest. Then she’ll begin to hit on you, women want what they can’t have.

[@melikeskalico3812]

this one knows whats up

[@jja1483]

Dats what I'm talkin bout thumbs up 4 dat 🤔😊

[@shrapnel4213]

it might work but fuk chasing. be the boss

[@GhostofCTC]

shrapnel I didn’t say chase that’s the whole point not chasing.

[@shrapnel4213]

u said 'be a regular'. fuk that, u gonna become an alcoholic from a specific bar for months just to maybe get some pussy from a drink pourer? that is a shitty inefficient idea, plan, chase.

[@Wibtlol]

"You're never going to take the stripper home with you." I can personally guarantee that this statement is false, and it's also false about bartenders.

[@laprepper]

All great points, but there was a really cute bartender at a company event last night, and I will forever regret not trying. Sure she might be friendly to everyone, but life is short and she was pulling my attraction strings.

[@still34u]

As a bartender - I'll tell you, I am getting annoyed by Bartenders thinking somebody's hitting on them .. make the drink, get them out, cut the line down... Now! the worst thing in the world is a slow bartender, even the worse, if you have to work with them behind the same bar

[@GamesFromSpace]

No kidding. Just like it's their job to be friendly, most customers will do the same thing because that's what humans do by default. I'm not flirting, I'm being polite, and encouraging you to not spit in my food.

[@mattyy101]

Bartender women are easy to pull, they are in a sht low income job so practically anyone is more successful than them.

[@emiliogonzalez2215]

holy shit. the first chick gave me free frito pie one night!!

[@perrezosachiquita2031]

Hate when the dude keeps bugging me. "let me buy you a drink" 😏 I'm the Bartender im working .. "then let's dance Im working dude🤦 Okay I'll ask your boss to allow you to. 🤦😭pls don't

[@stgeorge4559]

😂😂😂

[@Shadowwind4]

Can I date you? I will be nice

[@stgeorge4559]

@@Shadowwind4 😂😂😂 good for trying

[@Shadowwind4]

@@stgeorge4559 thanks bro it be rough out here for us single guys

[@stgeorge4559]

@@Shadowwind4 not for me but good luck

[@michaeldelacruz6370]

They want your money "nicely."

[@OsamaBinLlama]

they chose "these" bartenders for this piece? mother of god..

[@EHcatches]

Ain’t none of them girls getting hit on bruh 😂😂

[@johannagonzalez6832]

😪 when you’ve gone out multiple times with the bartender 😂😂😂

[@Shadowwind4]

Go out with me?

[@tank2449]

1:57 grinch looking right there

[@LogeySmalls]

I had a math teacher in high school who told us he first met his wife at a bar she was bar tending at. So it’s not impossible, but definitely know whether or not your advances are welcome.

[@scottie1538]

Don’t shit where you eat especially if it’s your favorite bar

[@vminhope3040]

That goes for work crushes too

[@RahulGupta-aZtEK]

This was so helpful .. Now I at least know what not to do .. Thanks guys

[@clarataniasanbudhi1197]

Burst at "I got a numberrrrrr" hahahahahaa

[@tastybrownie7448]

I've never had bartenders flirt with me but I used to get a lot of baristas at cafes flirt with me during the daytime though. I never flirted back. I figured they wanted a bigger tip and had no genuine interest in me. I am still single.

[@xdiamonddogx]

Watch when they want to hit on a customer,we'll be like,"no thanks you smell like booze,but wheres my drink" with no tip🍺

[@harryhill8543]

What i found interesting about bar workers is that in The Mask Of Sanity it says that many are psychopaths or have psychopathic traits....maybe leave them at the bar.

[@ivansmirnoff5655]

Those female bartenders are rough... they reminds me of the bartenders up far north were I work

[@jakeizlove]

People must drink a lot where they work, LOL!

[@britishgamerg3495]

My bartender would find us on the beach in Mallorca and come chat to us for like 10-15 mins which was really dope

[@WanaBgamer]

"shitcanned"

[@commander6027]

Sick profile picture

[@Pillowcase1977]

I tend on being a regular in my neighborhood bar, laundromat, restaurant and grocery store, generaly business. And I know if I make a move on a wrong girl, the whole hood knows who I am and where I live. I'm not going to be a victim of being a mistaken creep.

[@Duckman1616]

Eh, I've had a friend who had a one night stand with a bartender. I get the concept of the video but generalizations don't really help anyone.

[@samflynn97]

Generalizations help communicate what generally happens... We can assume that people are aware of there being exceptions to everything. We shouldn't have to include those exceptions every single time we inform people, that's exhausting and helps even less.

[@JesusGarcia-en3pj]

Duckman1616 bruh, I asked a bartender for coffee. We ended up having cocktails till closing on a Sunday. She invited me dancing and I had to fuck it up. I really want to try again and just get to know this person better. Learn from me fuckers. Take it slow...

[@Vassiliadis504]

Quite a few bartenders from New Orleans, haha wow never seen this before in any type of video. Shout out from the 504 haha

[@b0ssbeerreviews83]

My mums friend, loud lady, was flirting with a Greek immigrant bartender at a Greek Restaurant. She asks what cheese and being paired with a drink. Bartender: A Sheep cheese from Greece (his family made it) Her: You’re givin’ us CHEAP CHEESE and charging an a and a leg! Bartender: Sheep Cheese… (leaves the table, disgusted at his families cheese being called Cheap) She turns bright red. Everyone laughed at her and the bartender was cold to her.

[@henriknykvist]

In Stockholm there's pretty much no female bartenders. Why that is I do no know.

[@vminhope3040]

If girls flirt…they are not into you.. If they are awkward and shy… they are 😂

[@MrDarknessDroa]

I once got a number written on a napkin from an older lady that was there with her bf and i was super confused atm

[@Gallagher.661]

Everyone at my restaurant laughs whenever someone leaves a number lol. Especially the bartenders

[@vtheman1850]

Bartender dude for 4 years here, the amount of numbers I got written down on bills is nuts, we'd call them sometimes for the luls, guys, girls 9 times out of 10 they were super embarrassed anyway

[@Mr.SP78]

I remember about 9-10 years ago I went to this bar on the LES and tried to hit up this sexy Latin bartender and she rejected me outright. I became a regular and never bothered her again, but the drinks and prices were nice, so I stayed with it. Over time, we became more acquainted, but I still never bothered showing any interest in her, until slowly but gradually, she started dropping all these hints; like she just broke up with her dumb ass boyfriend; giving me free drinks all of a sudden and then suggesting I stay with her til closing so we can hit this cool pizza shop around the corner. Eventually, we kissed and we got to fooling around all because I didn't care anymore. She kept commenting about why I was always smirking like a wiseass but clearly she loved it. So guys, if a bartender is into you and you're a regular, they'll let you know. Believe me, they'll do the leg work. Just keep things cool.

[@undeny]

But did it have to come from some of the least interesting bar tenders on KZbin? Come on, "Playboy"...

[@patientestant]

Ok, so your saying i should hammer drinks and hit on bartenders? I have to get the bar first.

[@海草猫]

As an Asian bartender, if you wanna flirt with me please do not start off with "where are you from?" 🙃

[@Hepabytes]

I think the proper response is [hometown]. Most people just want to make conversation.

[@jeremiahanderson614]

Never understood why dudes leave their number on a crappy tip on a credit card and expect a call back. Has that ever worked?

[@MrThogin]

I never shit where I drink. That is a big no no no no, no matter how cute she was. God I got cut off by my bartender more times than I like too.

[@charleyfitzpatrick4664]

I learned a lot

[@heyricksander]

Another video where the Bartenders mostly kinda suck. I'm a average, straight guy and I've dated plenty of women I met as bartenders or waitresses. Sometimes I ask, sometimes they do, sometimes they explain to me on a subsequent visit that they hoped I asked them out.

[@brokenrecord3523]

When I first started bartending, a girl came in - jeans and t-shirt, I made her drinks, friendly, chatting, no big deal...as we opened at 10am the next morning, there she was, makeup, heels, dressed to the nines. 😳oh shit. what do I do?

[@lassiejr2115]

Did you give her a Tip >

[@brokenrecord3523]

@@lassiejr2115 😁

[@Psiberzerker]

This is hilarious, honestly. "Can I buy you a drink?" Oh look, a shot of alcohol. Yay! SHE WORKS IN A BAR! She gets hit on all night, every night. What makes you think that this time, she's going to go home with you (After she's done with her shift?) What makes you think that she doesn't already have a boyfriend, a girlfriend, a boyfriend, and a girlfriend, or 15 booty calls on speed dial so she doesn't have to meet new people after 8 hours of meeting new people? Is it the alcohol? Because I think it's probably the alcohol.

[@MiiLL3R]

I’ve taken both strippers and bartenders home 🤷🏻‍♂️ They worked at Hooters 🤣

[@ennuiii]

as a server alot of this transfers to restursnts as well 👌

[@miriamdavis2988]

Noooo my heart is broken!!!!!

[@gainzfromgaming3413]

0:42 Her neck look like the Michelin Man

[@jureplazonic7066]

GainzFromGaming hHhahahahah but she's cute dough

[@Spoons7414]

She’s a babe though

[@_andre007]

Jure Plazonić Yeah Pillsbury Dough

[@obeythelaw5504]

Each ring = 15 years.

[@babylonianbackup9112]

She's cute tho

[@djdsf]

"..You'll never take the stripper home with you" lol, I've taken strippers home and haven't spent a single $.

[@gamebreaker23]

Liar 😭

[@radrcer]

None of these rules apply in a podunk town where bartender is single with 3 kids

[@ianvenables1304]

I personally am against it as it puts the bartender in an awkward position. It's like doing the the same thing with a subordinate at work .

[@stgeorge4559]

Best way to be is be straight with them say. Look love your cute but you are going around being nice to everyone including me inorder to get tips. So considering that ill give you 20 dollars so thats out the way and ask for your number. (Make sure you only going in for 1 or 2 drinks not to get wasted, also make sure the bartender is your primary focus not to get drunk)

[@chndlr18]

Of course they are being nice to everyone. That's their job dude. To get as much money out of you as possible and being mean wont achieve that. The fact that you have to be rude and bribe a bartender for a phone number is really fucking sad.

[@LukeWalstead]

Wow, Alex Day looks so young!

[@robertgilmour494]

Yeah true!

[@judgeholden849]

I was upset about global warming until I saw this video

[@HotBoxTrucking]

who wants to hang out with someone who says "shit canned"

[@thordehr]

They shouldn't expect that they'd be hit on without the beer goggles FIRMLY in place. They all are in the exact right place and profession. Otherwise......nothing. SNS.

[@roncrimmins3497]

Not saying nothing about me, but I've had female bartenders, waitresses, hair stylists, whatever hit on me. Mostly I was just too naive to recognize it, but it works both ways. Not all men are the same.

[@mikeeaston4431]

Any bartenders or regulars here? A few months passed 21 and going to the bar, first time, this weekend. Are bartenders cool with, "surprise me?" Rum and coke is as far as my knowledge goes but i want to try some real cocktails. To me they make money, and enjoy, making a good drink. I just dont wanna come off as some douche at the counter.

[@davidbarnes4742]

I’d have to be pretty blacked out to hit on any of these bartenders

[@maxcherkasskikh5960]

I feel like as long as u follow the general guidlines of being a descent fucking human being and tipping well it's actually nice to get a little side not with a number on the receipt. Doesn't mean I'll follow through on that. But it's nice. Maybe it's just because I'm a single male bartender in LA.

[@brianstevens3963]

news for ya not everyone is hitting on you !!! just be the bartender and that will be fine !!! just because someone is friendly doesn't mean we want to do ya !!! relax ladies no one is that irresistible!!!

[@dagger_dick9741]

We flirt with everyone, so don’t mistake that for.... well flirting

[@fizza19121]

yeah that part didn't make any sense

[@luisriba8082]

I think it’s completely false. It’s like saying a Nurse wouldn’t smash the patients and doctors at work.

[@hardcoredoom5892]

As someone who’s taken a bartender home, take this with a grain of salt.

[@warmonger9100]

Not ever, doesn't always mean, never. It might work only one out of 50. Just means I keep asking, until I find that one.

[@TwoTone4455]

ok she lied because i have taken a stripper home

[@CathMan28French]

Why are there three bottles of Hendricks Gin in the background?

[@ALC77787]

Local Barter said business and regular flirting is the same thing and he said 'if your single and her too'.....??? what does that mean...... before this, he kept making fun of me in lepard scarf and gave me a plate of milk....he said bartenders reduce the tension for customers. confused about thiz...???

[@BobBobson]

"If you're hitting on a bartender at a place you're drinking at 4 or 5 nights a week, that might not be the best thing to do because then if it doesn't work out you don't have to see them continuously." That'd advice for fuckboys. Wo/Man the fuck up and treat them like an adult. Did it work out? No. Does that mean you can't treat them like a human and be friendly without being a desperate piece of shit? Only if you're a fuckboy. Obviously you enjoy their company. Why not continue to enjoy it? Give them your number. If they don't call you, who cares? Maybe they're in a relationship you don't know about. Maybe they're gay. Maybe they just don't have the time/energy they feel they should be putting into a relationship. None of that matters. None of that should force you to switch bars, unless you're not mature enough to handle a friendship with someone you're attracted to.

[@AgiDaKinG]

First off, how about getting some cute bartenders

[@Ajax9774]

But this is just individual opinions. Trust me Most bartenders that flirt with you will most likely sleep with you. It all depends on how attracted they really are to you and if they aren't well you can usually intrigue them by having enough $$$ if you know where I'm coming from. Everyone has a price especially in the event of a common one night stand mixed with enough alcohol.

[@manrom3039]

leave a number, slide it with your bill.

[@CookinginRussia]

Why is it that the ugliest women are the ones most afraid of being asked out? Maybe because the type of guy who would stoop that low is invariably scary as hell.

[@SuperDancingdevil]

I had a woman hitting on me at the bar i worked in, I was just standing there grinning like mad which she took as a green light......bad move my girlfreind at the time was standing right behind her getting more angry by the minute it did not end well for the woman flirting outrageously with me as my beloved dragged her out to the car park by her hair.

[@williamgregory1848]

Bartenders' livelihoods depend on being nice to customers (tips!), but to the untrained libido, it can be downright impossible to tell if the flirtation is genuine or a calculated move of professional interest. The lines between "What a nice bartender!" and "Oh my God, this girl wants to bang me," are often blurred by a pleasant conversation... and a half-dozen pints.

[@j-s2526]

talk about landmines...ew. just give me my drink and shut up

[@ryanryan5478]

Jon snoon thought i was the only one who referred to them as this. Bitch was a walking greande. Put on the Kevlar and get the fuck out lol. War zone

[@GraphicArtist115]

AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH YEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHH

[@mattcooper8829]

Stop flirting with me and get my fucking drink.

[@ghost245353]

Crazy how you say the same stripper analogy to a bartender and get offended for being compared to a stripper