Pelvic Floor Relaxation: Anxiety Skills #10

Do you want to learn How to Process Emotions and improve your Mental Health? Sign up for a Therapy in a Nutshell Membership, you'll get access to all of Emma’s courses, workbooks, and a Live Q and A with 100’s of exclusive videos: courses.therap...
Pelvic floor relaxation is one self-regulation technique that works to calm anxiety by calming the body.
By learning to relax the pelvic floor, we can trigger the calming parasympathetic nervous system. This is more effective than coping skills because it actually resolves physical tension and anxiety. This stress management skill utilizes the body-mind feedback loop to create calm.
Check out the rest of my anxiety management playlist to learn skills to manage anxiety, stress, and worry through calming the body.
Looking for affordable online therapy? My sponsor, BetterHelp, connects you to a licensed professional from the comfort of your own home. Try it now for 10% off: betterhelp.com...
Learn more in one of my in-depth mental health courses: courses.therap...
Support my mission on Patreon: / therapyinanutshell
Sign up for my newsletter: courses.therap...
Check out my favorite self-help books: kit.co/Therapy...
Check out my podcast, Therapy in a Nutshell: tinpodcast.pod...
Therapy in a Nutshell, LLC, and the information provided by Emma McAdam are solely intended for informational and entertainment purposes and are not a substitute for advice, diagnosis, or treatment regarding medical or mental health conditions. Although Emma McAdam is a licensed marriage and family therapist, the views expressed on this site or any related content should not be taken for medical or psychiatric advice. Always consult your physician before making any decisions related to your physical or mental health.
About Me:
I’m Emma McAdam. I’m a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, and I have worked in various settings of change and growth since 2004. My experience includes juvenile corrections, adventure therapy programs, wilderness therapy programs, an eating disorder treatment center, a residential treatment center, and I currently work in an outpatient therapy clinic.
In therapy I use a combination of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, Systems Theory, positive psychology, and a bio-psycho-social approach to treating mental illness and other challenges we all face in life. The ideas from my videos are frequently adapted from multiple sources. Many of them come from Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, especially the work of Steven Hayes, Jason Luoma, and Russ Harris. The sections on stress and the mind-body connection derive from the work of Stephen Porges (the Polyvagal theory), Peter Levine (Somatic Experiencing) Francine Shapiro (EMDR), and Bessel Van Der Kolk. I also rely heavily on the work of the Arbinger institute for my overall understanding of our ability to choose our life's direction.
And deeper than all of that, the Gospel of Jesus Christ orients my personal worldview and sense of security, peace, hope, and love www.churchofje...
If you are in crisis, please contact the National Suicide Prevention Hotline at suicideprevent... or 1-800-273-TALK (8255) or your local emergency services.
Copyright Therapy in a Nutshell, LLC
----
Music licensed from www.Bensound.com or Artlist.io
Images from Freepik.com (premium license), Pixabay, or Wikimedia commons

[@abbykristine97_]

I’m in tears with how much relief you have given me. I have OCD and am in a horrible fit of health ocd and I have been in so much pain bc of my stress. This has helped me tremendously and I will be using this video every day. Thank you!!!!!

[@rupertcarlquist5640]

"Therapist joke!!" You are such a great therapist! Love your videos.

[@babyboy1971]

I have chronic hemorrhoids, anal fissures, anxiety attacks and IBS. This was VERY helpful!!!!! Thank you!

[@mrbslm2343]

Same here, even though it sucks you are not alone.

[@SweetTea742]

Good gosh!!!!!!! How do you cope?

[@jackdelaney8786]

Tough luck of the draw god damm

[@mno0o1212]

هل تعالجت منه؟

[@guilhermedpaula33]

​@@SweetTea742Nice to meet you, I have all of these + psoriasis + gastritis and I live in a third world country lmao

[@BachBeethovenBerg]

This is so helpful! I think I subconsciously tighten my pelvis much of the time and being more aware of this has helped me better relax.

[@HarshKS2]

U had problem related to weak urine or incomplete bowel? If u relaxed those muscles, did it help?

[@Clarke1412]

@@HarshKS2are you suffering from constipation due to tight pelvic floor

[@Clarke1412]

@@HarshKS2are you suffering from constipation due to tight pelvic floor

[@HarshKS2]

@@Clarke1412 sometimes I do..but i try to tighten then relax my muscles as an exercise.. it helps

[@marcelacunha2944]

this is very useful, i've been searching for content on pelvic floor relaxation and i had no idea it was related to anxiety

[@Wrenchdolt]

I know this is an old video but I've been struggling with vulvodynia for half a year. After watching this and realizing the pain was linked to all the muscles in my entire pelvic area, I started doing exercises to loosen those up and the pain is finally starting to gradually go away. Thank you for helping me figure that out!

[@istiria1464]

Do you consume any medicine or cream? I need your answer, i'm from indonesia and i've been struggling with vulvodynia too.thank you

[@annaprazmo1810]

Proszę o tłumacza

[@lorilocascio2921]

Oh my friend I’m so happy you are vulvodynia went away. I’m getting treatment now. I’ve been suffering for years. I’m so happy for you. All I want add a life is that for that to go away there’s barely any foods I can eat. I can’t really wear any type of normal clothes they have to be real baggy. I’m just praying that, this treatment I’m going through it’s going to work it’s significantly better. It’s called the morphis eight and I’m gonna start doing pelvic exercises and do whatever I can to make it go away I swear going to doctors almost 9 years ago. None of them will listen to me I had a hard time it was almost like I didn’t wanna live anymore but I’m so glad just this past week. I feel significantly better. Hopefully it will continue. Hopefully I’ll be normal someday but I’m so happy for you.

[@lisabeeke7162]

You are just a terrific source of info with gentleness thrown in the mix. Thank you.

[@Om.arweens]

I've heard the phrase "Don't get your panties in a twist" when telling someone to relax. Fascinating to see how low brow culture already has a tenuous grasp on this and more

[@kamranali7348]

Such a beautiful person with so much knowledge. Thank you for sharing such valuable information

[@harrisonclark4382]

I like you already! That grab your butt joke and your smile made my day. Thank you. Injured my perineum about 10 years ago getting off the wrestling mat. It felt like a rubber band snapping. Lost a lot of sensation. Thought I needed to exercise the pelvic floor but recently after you realizing that my testicles are in spaz mode, it dawned on me that maybe I need to just relax the area. I’ve been breathing deeply, and I’m starting to make progress. I breathe in deeply for four seconds into my abdomen and then blow out slowly for eight seconds.

[@actsrv9]

Corollary: Pelvic floor muscle injury = lifelong panic attacks due to constant vagus nerve stimulation. This video put into words what I have been suffering for 20 years.

[@TherapyinaNutshell]

Interesting, thanks for sharing

[@actsrv9]

@@johndoeexists TIL about "Overactive Pelvic Floor Disorder", thanks! I did some basic googling and found this: www.healthline.com/health/fitness-exercise/pelvic-floor-exercises But there's go to be some kind of muscle growth or injection that fixes this quickly. I hope.

[@vdl9673]

i think i have this too for 8 years now and doctors dont know about it

[@fritsvanzanten3573]

An exercise that may help without needing to 'control' these muscles is laying on your back (you can do this while you're in bed), lay one hand on your chest and one hand on your belly. Breathe in counting to 4 (when you can feel it for 4 heartbeats) while you make sure the hand on your belly goes up, not the hand on your chest. Then breathe out counting to 4 (or more when you feel like). Breathe in again etc. Gradually you may try to extent the time you breathe out. I used to go from 4 to 8 to 12 to 16. But then number are completely of to you. This will take some time to get used to/train yourself. No pressure. In the end your will feel a relaxing effect in the pelvic floor. I learned this in a an intens9ieve singing class, to liberate your voice. This breathing exercise/mastering your breathing will benefit in other kinds of situations like hyperventilation, stress etc.

[@sk_s_w]

I have tense muscles almost every day and always had problems in doing sports. Biological reasons aside, now I can definitely think of how stress and tension affect my muscles! This is so enlightening! I love this education! Thank you thank you thank you!

[@FortheBudgies]

Wow. I have chronic pelvic floor pain and have been going to PT for years for hypertonic pelvic floor and have disynergic bowels. I've had so much education on the pelvic floor yet I thought bearing down was tensing the pelvic floor, not relaxing. This shows how we can't know what others internal physical experiences are and shouldn't assume what others know. I'm going to discuss this with my pt next visit and I suspect it's going to create an epiphany for us!

[@theweightlosslady1]

Interesting

[@glynrowson]

Amazing video I've have pelivc pain for 3 years thank you so much

[@TherapyinaNutshell]

Glad that you've found it helpful!

[@ayoubmerzak1733]

Hi Glyn, I hope you don't mind sharing the protocol you followed to heal up, please! I am suffering from CPPS since a good while now and am seeking some help, tips or best practices to make my situation gets better. Thank you.

[@AS-to5xy]

@@ayoubmerzak1733 did you found any help? What kind of symptoms do you have?

[@bwc-chvd]

No kidding. I finally learned how and I’m already feeling a difference, total mood changer while grounding me in the present. i heard it’ll make you last longer and work in conjunction with kegels... can’t wait hahah

[@gmbgmb]

Hey I know it’s been a while but how had this worked for you? Did you practise it the exact way how she teaches (pushing out like you have to pee or poo)? Or did you practise it a different way?

[@yeahmaybenot4380]

@@gmbgmb She sites Dr. Eric Gentry as the creator of the technique. He’s got a couple videos on KZbin targeted toward healthcare providers but he goes in depth on the topic. I’d recommend his videos “Tools For Hope (Part 1 and 2)”.

[@ahmednaeem4954]

Thank you so much for these enormously helpful videos!

[@paromitadesarkar1677]

Excellent methods doc. I have started watching your oldest videos since yesterday. These initial videos are gold. ❤️.so useful.

[@stevostevic0]

You are the sweetest!

[@TherapyinaNutshell]

:)

[@darrend2035]

Very common in men that have anxiety and CPPS

[@WaywardSon1]

It took me months of research to find out about CPPS and starting to get better because very few doctors seem to know anything about it. This is so common and so important to spread awareness about.

[@denday4511]

It's so good to listen to different words regarding the same area of the body from different people. Thank you. This helped me tie things together

[@TonyFDiego]

She's a gem.

[@paperinashes]

Literally got to know today there's a thing called hypertonic pelvic floor. Realizing this is probably what I've always had

[@Tonjit41]

Thanks for bringing this to my attention.

[@charlesezzell6147]

Yeah, that not what "literally" means. We know you don't mean hyperbole.

[@fangirl00]

“Therapist joke” and your facial expression 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 you truly made my day

[@cjennings6179]

New new INFORMATION! No No one has NEVER EVER TOLD ME THIS INFORMATION. VERY ESSENTIAL Knowledge TO CALM ANXIETY.. ?

[@adriannatrowsdale5142]

your butt joke cured my anxiety

[@amarkavitkar]

Exactly ❤️she So much knowledgeable 🙌🏻

[@kubamazurkiewicz6511]

You have really beautyfull voice

[@karistownsend8292]

Just LOVE your channel and the gift that you share with us!! Helping my whole family! Thank you endlessly!

[@kaleabwoldemariam4288]

Thank you, these are really helpful.

[@Dedlogico]

So it's anormal to have it always tight? Even if I don't move a lot I always notice that I can relax my pelvic floor, becouse I'm always tensing them.

[@ezrabronwynadkins571]

i find it really interesting that most of these self regulation techniques are some of the first basics you learn as an actor. how to ground, be present, and go to a "neutral" stance of place physically. soft gaze is a common phrase in theatre. i've also had a voice teacher tell me to unclench my butthole. we also practice diaphragmatic breathing to support projection. fascinating correlation. (i have anxiety and a theatre degree lol)

[@suryamc7606]

Such an interesting perspective.. could you name some introductory resources to such theatre techniques? I am really curious to know..

[@gmbgmb]

Hey I know it’s been a while but how had this worked for you? Did you practise it the exact way how she teaches (pushing out like you have to pee or poo)? Or did you practise it a different way?

[@edzanjero353]

Is it possible the pelvic floor is not getting proper relax signals from the brain and thru the spine?

[@terraboo9922]

I love this vid watched it multiple times

[@cindioneil8868]

Omg..every day with everyone is..UNCOMFORTABLE..!😳

[@paulacarreno9831]

Thank you for this.

[@kaungzaw3389]

Thank you.

[@thecrazyandthewild]

Thank you, Emma!

[@erikahespinozah5160]

Love this and love this lady 💕

[@lunaycamila]

Lol. You explained this better than my doctor 😂

[@travelchannel304]

For 4 yrs , My step mom has pelvic floor spasms and can't "pea" , opposite of women who have leaks. I guess. She has PT but it does last. Has to cath! & she's Weak!

[@wednesdayschild3627]

My kids left home and doing well. Then I started having problems with anxiety.

[@stoltobot]

No wonder turding is so relaxing 😌

[@philliphenderson1994]

Your the best .....thanks

[@hevvybizzle5797]

Thank you, this is very helpful. I feel like I can breathe deeper by doing this. I had a chest injury which also affected my mid back, and have felt like I can't take a deep enough breaths for years as a result, which has led to chronic anxiety but have been practicing this way of breathing and feel the difference. Do you think it is possible that by breathing in this way I am finally getting enough air? Like it can override my chest muscle tenseness? Thank you again.

[@YouilAushana]

The pelvis tightens, contracts, 'extends' and sends signals directly up to spine with headaches, dizziness and anxiety. You you have a stable and calm walk and posture through life.

[@yesway]

The Universe herself has led me to this video! 🙏🏾

[@tomnathan3302]

Emma you are so amazing and your knowledge is outstanding. You are so updated and thorough. You should be appointed as President of International Psychologist Association. I had troubled childhood with abusive trauma and fear due to severe poverty and financial issues. I wish I could take your therapy but I don't have money. Right now down with Fibromyalgia, severe fatigue with PTSD induced anxiety and suicidal depression. I don't know who can help me as I can't afford such expensive consulting sessions. I don't know where to start. Your videos are amazing but I feel overwhelmed due to my condition. I am almost bed bound. Can you please please help me? Is there any additional resources I can refer to? 🙏

[@Dbiss]

All of her content from her courses is on her youtube channel.

[@aqualust5016]

0:42 this level of awkwardness is what relaxes my pelvic floor

[@Rainbow-uz2qr]

Hi Emma! I am a bit confused. On the one hand you say that one shouldn’t use these coping skills and sit with your anxiety and on the other hand you are teaching these calming exercises. Aren’t these coping skills then? When to use them and when not to use them?

[@GratitudeHealth8888]

Thank you!!

[@napturaladvice7646]

Thank you 🙏

[@toffield27]

Would you please place these videos in a playlist, a sequential order, it's really difficult to find these, in order. I still haven't seen the 1st one in this series.

[@toffield27]

I think I just answered my own question lol cheers

[@TherapyinaNutshell]

Sorry I didn't see your comment until just now, I recently updated this playlist and hopefully it's in order now, let me know what else I can do to make your experience better! Thanks

[@TherapyinaNutshell]

kzbin.info/www/bejne/iIHcq4N-bdh1aKM

[@consciouslypure2176]

How interesting! But if you push your pelvic floor like that, doesn’t that make the body even more tense from the pushing? Or maybe I haven’t quite understood how it works? It would be wonderful if you would have a second to reply.

[@gmbgmb]

Did you find the answer because I’m curious if it makes it more tense too?

[@kokorodokidoki6437]

I think it's relaxing if you do it softly. (Kind of like how it feels when one doesn't need to push much to poop easily?)

[@TheDwoods14]

Yes, but the point is that if you can tense it, you can relax it. You'll begin to have control over it and know the sensations.

[@justacarat2638]

Either way the pushing should not be done excessively or strogly, and expecially often, because that might lead to having a stomach hernia. Just lightly is fine

[@Electrolyte88]

Will it cure dysynnergic defecation?

[@mohammedalshannat2385]

You are a legend!

[@JohnnyUtah488]

When she said "wear a sign around your neck that says something ridiculous", did anyone else think of Die Hard 3?

[@GODS_21]

Lol

[@SinfulScents]

Your voice is so dang relaxing lol

[@kingtahaa1125]

Any video with demonstrations is helpful please.

[@shabana9923]

0 to 3:12 Thanks, ma'am. Like a picnic

[@alanblazek1653]

....really recommend using stretchout strap and accompanying lower body stretches. Place butt on wall, legs up wall then replicate as many stretches as possible.

[@ziljanvega3879]

Can you please redo this video with better more relaxing clean audio?

[@georgeherbertcarson7538]

It also encourages diaphragm breathing

[@Halllie]

Thank you for the info but I can't do the stranger with the knees touching exercise it's just too much to handle.

[@zarzisrony4656]

Dear Gorgeous , i have pain in my back. It is triggered by many events.. When i follow your recommendation it makes me relax.. I want to know that: can i do this frequently like 500/1000 times in a day. If i do that frequently will it cause another problem like erectile dysfunction etc?

[@allysonstumpf5691]

I am not an expert but from I understand is it is okay to do this as many times as you want without issue

[@zarzisrony4656]

@@allysonstumpf5691 👌👌👌👌👌

[@lumpenproletarier9584]

That's why I feel dizzy when I take a shit lol

[@SydneyMorganBeauty]

Every time I try to do pelvic floor tilts and exercises I go into panic mode. Like anxiety all day. Any idea why this happens?

[@jack_knife-1478]

I have none bacterial prostatitis chronic pelvic pain syndrome it's really really painful!!!

[@fnt8894]

it could be that you have Pendunal neuropathia, i thought i had none bacterial prostatitis but it wasnt it

[@cjennings6179]

Not easy to do. Ugh. No ONE NO DOCTOR HAS EVER SHARED INFORMATION with me.! Whom in every day LIFE IS THIS INFORMATION COME FROM?

[@TherapyinaNutshell]

I agree, this is why I made this channel- because there's so much that can be done to help with anxiety and physical symptoms but people just don't have access to the education they need.

[@gmbgmb]

@@TherapyinaNutshell Does pushing down too much end up causing too much tension?

[@wightmand]

The 'Bearing Down" technique could be better explained. I don't know what it feels like :(

[@notherepim]

Me too

[@jampigs]

It means try and push out a fart. No joke.

[@danielraypickrel4316]

I have supra ventricular arrythmns; been instructed in 'bare down', never feels like defication.

[@bigkidd]

I took your advice about staring into a someone’s eyes so I went in public and done it to a stranger but I got punched in my mouth. Thank you

[@rileycronin-schneider8101]

Hi, So I think I understand what “Bare down” means with regards to tightening the muscles but how does one bare down after clenching the muscles to relax them? Thank you.

[@jsmith5443]

I think act like you are holding in your poop to tighten, then like you are trying to push it out to loosen.

[@gmbgmb]

@@jsmith5443 Hey I know it’s been a while but how had this worked for you? Did you practise it the exact way how she teaches (pushing out like you have to pee or poo)? Or did you practise it a different way?

[@PeaceboneGotFound]

Wow, I always wondered why when I get scared suddenly--someone yells at me, some honks at me in traffic--it feels like my vagina tightens up! Makes sense now 🤣

[@ubamichael2751]

🤣🤣🤣

[@Lady.Lisabobisa]

I have Crohn's. I'm always one sneeze away from shitting myself. I'm always holding in farts because it's not always air

[@anarojas7610]

is hard to follow without you showing it

[@lordchicken2879]

"I just made you grab your butt." LMAO!

[@UncleBob2121]

Is anyone here trying to learn how to help treat Hard Flaccid Syndrome?

[@nomorepain4you]

How many times should I repeat contractions?

[@harrisonclark4382]

I’m going to sit on a tennis ball now. Heeee haaaaw

[@mwngw]

Is bearing down the same as straining? I really need to overcome lifelong constipation.

[@godzillamanstreb524]

mwngw berries!

[@calzone1021]

I don't understand "Pressing with your abdominals". An I pushing down the abdominals with my hands?

[@deerheart87]

Movicol

[@jsmith5443]

I think it means to act like you are trying to push poop out

[@iamthecoolifier]

Iliac crest is not single points, its the whole crest :) The specific points you are refering to are called ASIS anterior superior...

[@mno0o1212]

Thank you for arabic trans

[@nexnexusnex]

I love you

[@thaguf]

I have extremely bad anxiety and my pelvic floor stays tight when my anxiety rises. My question would be can this effect your penis? because I notice when my pelvic floor tightens it feels as if my penis is going to disappear into my body. And yes this is a serious question.

[@KoolAidDinkyTV]

You mean like it shrinks?

[@wednesdayschild3627]

I am better, but still having trouble relaxing.

[@dariomargeli]

I wasn't able to follow. I can put a thumb on the belt line and the my other fingers under my but? That is? Its not a square but a line. Then what? Whiggle? Pretend you are trying hard to poop and then relax back?

[@nevamoore5192]

When you said pelvic floor excerise, this is not what I had in mind.

[@danieln2707]

Can a tight pelvic floor muscle cause problems with my penis by reducing blood flow

[@Ascendingsoul1]

I know this video is old but I have a question to something I can't seem to find an answer to anywhere. whenever I do Kegels, I immediately get anxiety and then I start to feel nauseous to where I have to stop right away, any insight to why this may happen?

[@sheparis2]

Keegles make it worse

[@phyliamorus]

sorry if I didn't get it right but is it essentially "squeezing your butt cheeks" in layman's term?

[@yeahmaybenot4380]

In layman’s terms, you’re trying to have a bowl movement without actually doing so. So, to practice the feeling, you can do the opposite by squeezing your butt cheeks while tightening the muscle that allows you to stop peeing on command, then release both of those and let it relax and soften. That relaxed feeling is what you want. You’ll notice you can go a step further and “bear down” as if you were having a bowel movement.

[@mindful__gardener]

For the past week my anus sphincter has got soo tight that I'm having problems getting stool out without my finger. I think stress triggered it to be tight. How can I fix this ?

[@pablotescobar2744]

I have this issue too having to use suppositories, what did you find helped you?

[@beermilkshake]

But when I relax it just makes me want to pee

[@SuperMiIk]

Im abt to kms

[@sudrishi7]

3:13 that's soo romantic now, only if had a partner

[@mamahamda906]

This video lacks showing where to place one's hands and how to relax the pulvic muscle.

[@seagreen9264]

Lol 🙈

[@VViNeTu]

Stop brushing the mic with your hair 😊

[@damon123jones]

Mmmmm pelvic floor

[@RPFP123]

Why don’t you show us instead of just talking?. Just wondering.