People at work who talk behind your back

[@arnolddavidfernandez5725]

Yea same happen to me in my last job, i came in being to friendly to everyone then at the end i was getting betrayed by some coworkers, I've learned a great life lesson from being in the work force, don't be so nice and keep your guard up at all times, you are there for a paycheck and nothing else, mind your own business and just do your job, if they don't like you then that's there issue, great advice Marie.

[@laprepper]

I've heard people say at past jobs "I don't want my director to remember my name", in other words, keep your freaking head down, lol...

[@marcusj97]

amen

[@darkcadence938]

Same in everywhere job its nothing but back stabbing and jealousy

[@marysunshine5587]

This is exactly what I learned

[@texasmade2719]

People dont try to be friends with people in the workplace. be friendly but dont be friends. you may notice people or groups who are like clicks that may have friendships together. but i have learned those group of friends are back stabbing one another some just dont even know it. dont get into those relationships stay professional and act friendly but dont be a friend cause you will find yourself mixed in with that mess they got going on.

[@jmk2530]

Wow! I can relate so much to this post. The statement about cliques and they themselves backstabbing/badmouthing each other- so true! I’m not part of the office clique; I see the ring leader smiles at everyone, gets to know everyone’s opinions/ personal problems, -- she is great at what she does-- but I see her bad mouthing/gossiping/ passing info. I used to think she was kind because I need her help as she is my assistant- but I see how 2 faced she is and how she will spread info. She says stuff to me and I feel this feeling of “be careful”. I also sometimes feel the urge to talk to her about things at work and almost always stop myself because I know she will spread it and/or modify it. Like someone said, be friendly at work but don’t be friends with your coworkers. Do you best everyday. Earn your income- that is the main reason you are there.

[@agabrook]

I'm glad to know I'm not the only one who noticed this

[@marysunshine5587]

I just learned this

[@lotusn4175]

It makes me sad how terribly common manipulative people are, I've dealt with this a lot too... You would think at some point in their lives they would realize that bringing other people down really brings themselves down...not up.

[@lotusn4175]

John Cavey That's so horrible. I suppose often it's the most genuine and deserving of people who never make it up to the top positions they deserve as they are not willing to manipulate people. :(

[@KD-wz8tp]

I'm going through this at work now. It's crazy. I'm so tired of this foolishness. Adults acting this way is insane.

[@HollyBlossom]

You deserve a million subscribers, you're very helpful thank you!

[@mariedubuque]

+HollyBlossom thank you, you made my day!

[@sandyk2310]

Thanks for the good advice! This is why I'm my next job I'm insisting on keeping work and personal life separate! Gossip is morally decaying and I don't have the energy to deal with it!

[@laprepper]

"Morally decaying". excellent way to sum it up.

[@Musicology1975]

Bad people will make you apreciate good people even more as they are hard to come by

[@katfish4187]

I ignored the bullying of a supervisor, and they got me fired. That's why I'm trying to learn a healthy alternative.

[@chaoticjunkies3105]

Should’ve documented

[@viviannango4730]

I needed this! I started a new job about 4wks ago, and from day one there this older woman who I felt she has something against me. My intuition was right on, today I found out she was talking behind my back. It's so absurd that she did that when she takes long lunches and always on the phone for personal stuff! I dont know what her problem is but I wanted to confront her but I will not. I will work harder and ignore her nasty pettiness. People that are happy with themselves dont go and talk negative about someone they dont even know. This woman obviously has issue with herself, her life must be that miserable!

[@mariedubuque]

Exactly!

[@markshelton3121]

Marie, you took the words right out of my mouth. When you said to keep it professional and don't share any personal information, I hollered. You don't go to work to make friends, not to say that you shouldn't be friendly but you don't know who you can trust these days, especially in the workplace. When you were talking the viewer trying to fit in and be a part of a group, I already knew what the problem was. I tend to stay in my lane and keep it strictly professional.

[@dylanjones356]

Definitely the way to go mate. The hospitality sector regardless of any business type is especially filled with these people.

[@MamitaBarbitta-ASMR]

I just wanna thank you for this video. I literally was looking for a video like this. I just started a new job just like this girl you are talking about. I really enjoyed this job my managers are great...my co-workers..I thought were great too. Until I heard from other co-workers they were talking behind my back about me being new. After hearing this news...I started to beat myself up. Genuinely upset. But I see that I just gotta do my own thing & say "whatever" to the rest.

[@mariedubuque]

Mamita, exactly!

[@mamacitaandkaty]

I am going through the same thing right now - and I quit a VERY toxic job last June where I was for two years.

[@shaniceturner7640]

People gossip about me alot at work

[@reneemassey-2827]

Me too! Just stay true to yourself.. And keep going

[@austincruz9651]

Same here 💯💯💯💯💯

[@ev868]

My own supervisor has been doing this to me for over 10 years and has successfully worn me down and I so want to be done with it but I'm such a people pleaser. After watching this video, I look back at the last 10 years and think, "wow, every time she has tried to bring me down was while I was perky, happy and positive". Thank you for posting this video! I wrote down so many of your points and will keep this on my desk at work to read over and over until it's drilled into my psyche!!!!!

[@Mrbradboy1]

If I catch someone talking about me Ill just look them in the eye and they stop. If youre gonna talk crap on someone say it to their face. Cowards only go behind.

[@QueenWoryeneh]

don't talk about anything deeper than the weather...mmm I died laughing

[@sophisticatedmm3632]

This is my favorite video of yours. I'm dealing with this situation at work, I'm cordial, ask work related questions, make small talk about non personal subjects ( restaurants, movies, plays, cruises). One of my colleagues doesn't like me & I haven't done anything to her. I've only been at this job 3 months & I keep my guard all the way up.

[@mariedubuque]

Sounds like you are doing great so far. Keep it up. That co-worker sounds like she is jealous of you or possibly resents you in some way (possibly your energy and enthusiasm and her lack there of!)

[@sophisticatedmm3632]

@@mariedubuque Thanks for responding & your encouragement. My mother recommends I pull her to the side & speak with this colleague. I don't think it will do any good because she's very petty. What are your thoughts?

[@krystjanchanerley9288]

Good advice

[@oophelia46]

I went out after work once with these people, and I was bored!! I'm not into drinking, gossip, ect. I can't relate to my coworkers cause we're not going to the same place, have the same goals, ect. And that's okay!

[@sophisticatedmm3632]

I don't hangout with colleagues & I don't contact them outside of work

[@louellaramos4433]

My motto was always was to be kind to co workers but never be too friendly to people and keep some distance but couple of years back, I let my guard down and started to be too friendly and started sharing about my life and ended up realizing that this was so wrong .Co workers started sharing my personal information and some were rude and started to make me feel they were entitled to my life. They would call me at home and text me why I am not at work and so forth.I decided to block their calls and kept some distance. I was lucky that I had some friends outside my workplace that were supportive of me at that time, My parents used to say, to be successful in life, be humble and kind but always act professional especially at work and keep some distance from your co workers to maintain professionalism and privacy.

[@mommaashtalks]

I have gotten to the point where I just ignore the petty people, I dont speak at all yet they find the time to direct sly comments my way

[@catspaw3092]

I never go out of my way to be friendly to my co-workers because they will do what they can to use it against your also your bosses are the same way I will be polite but that's it.

[@laprepper]

how is it that "friendly" is seen as "weak" by so many people? Not pointing a finger at you, but we both know many people are like this.

[@mommaashtalks]

Thank you so much Marie, I really needed this video after work today

[@Craftypumpkin1]

Great advice, this is happening to me right now and i am so upset but feel abit better since i watched your video, Thank you for sharing x

[@Smileylook]

Mean girls MEANER women!

[@SJD207]

Great uplifting advice Marie thank you. on a side note you always look great but you really suit red. Deeply appreciate your videos :-)

[@ckrtom2]

Thank you. Perfect timing as I just dealt with a difficult coworker...The dynamics of my work situation are a bit different, but I can still take away your advice. Bottom line is I will not let a hostile coworker get me down. I do a great job, and this coworker can be nasty and hostile regardless...The coworker is a pretty hard worker too so I don't feel there's any mutual threatening of each other's job involved. The hardest part is the feeling like crap INSIDE when around this person. Here, I will take your advice and pretty much just ignore this person to try to feel more neutral and at peace with it! If I try to make any small talk (like even just the "weather") he acts dismissive, disrespectful -- makes me feel belittled -- or generally ignores me! It's gotten pretty close to where this person has essentially alienated himself. I wonder if it's wrong to not even greet or give farewell to this person when I leave for the day (he's my replacement)...Would love any tips if you're so inclined. Thanks!

[@mariedubuque]

+ckrtom2 you're doing the right thing. And don't feel bad about not saying goodbye when you leave. He knows exactly what he is doing when he belittles people.

[@ckrtom2]

Thanks so much Marie!

[@jayviensam]

Thing is when your manager talks about Your business in front of coworkers!! Instead going outside and talk with me on the phone or pull me to the side. Like that's unprofessional..

[@agabrook]

Thanks a lot. I noticed this trend at school, and this video just prepared me for the work field. Those toxics are everywhere, oh my!

[@dimondsquad4233]

When you don't talk about anything personal, some co-workers will begin asking. I lie to them because it's none of their business. I know everything about their lives but they knows NOTHING about mines.

[@MsDudette21]

Duude samme! Figured out a coworker I hate didn't graduate high school and has a alcoholic husband. She also doesn't have any real friends apparently. Her only friend works with us too and told me this. Her own friend doesn't like her much. Just wow. I know stuff about her but they know nothing about me. I know better. People overshare. I keep to myself instead of gossip like my bitchy coworkers.

[@quintessencewitch]

YES! I like this..let these people be reminded of who you are..and how great you are..keep on keeping on ..head held high..and to hell with those that don't like it..love to you Marie xxx

[@kheleecebrown1799]

Thanks for encouragement as a Natural sunny person 😊 l can't help changing my personality. It's like no matter where l go it has always been like this.

[@shadowball3r]

Thank you so much for making this video. I will not confront this person. Turns out she was perfectly nice the same day and acted like nothing happened!

[@sonias9960]

Yes, I have learned this the hard way. My biggest mistake was to fall for the phoniness, I confided in people that backstab me in the worst way, and they moved up in the clique, and I remain left behind and seen as the villain or the incompetent one or just a plain twister Mat. I definitely will learn this lesson and will conduct myself a lot differently in my new role and take all of this into account and not be personal or as friendly as I used to be because that’s what I wanted. I wanted everyone to like me, and I wanted the friendship that everyone else had it seemed like that helped move them forward, but it collapsed on me in the most terrible way. I’m planning my escape slowly. Finding a new job is another kind of struggle but I’m constantly trying. And I want a new clean slate.

[@12Messenger]

Literally everyone i work with in this office have a depressed straight face. No wonder why. They all have to go home and do the same thing everyday and I'm a young 22 year old who is a intern in this field who's energetic, creative and enjoy hobbies. I think they're mad because God blessed me very early in my life when most ppl wouldn't get this position unless they had 6 more years of experience than me or had like a bachelors but God's blessings will make you be hated by the wrong ppl. Don't buy into it because you'll drain yourself. I just accepted that I'm here to do my job not to change ppl mind. I am open and approachable and always tried to develop a relationship with my co workers but they don't want one so they're missing out

[@Myst3ryTr1ckz]

SAY DATTT

[@negin4963]

How can you be so amazing?! everything you say is like you are . . .reading my mind really! you have a lovely calming voice that just adds more amazingness to ur words! thank you for ur videos! you are very helpful!

[@mariedubuque]

+Neg in thank you so much for your kind words!

[@jyrd100]

This is so spot on, thank you for posting.

[@Elisa11183]

i have experienced the same thing and this is my lesson, i will never tell nothing about me in work.

[@KentrenYeh]

Well how I see it is that, (Especially at a work setting.) is that if you like me, great! If you don't, then I don't care. It is not my obligation to please everyone 100%! What people think of me, is none of my business! A work place is a place to earn your paycheck, learn the reality of the working life, work is not a justice, and appreciate the positive people around you. Those were and still are my goals, and they have been paying off! Ignore the negative people, they are people who are either ignorant or fear your success.

[@sophisticatedmm3632]

God Bless you this video is such a blessing for me. Especially being the newest person on my team.

[@saitipp.9138]

THANK YOU SO MUCH. This clip is so useful. ❤

[@heavenfxeyesforsale]

omggg love your necklace!! thanks for the advise!!

[@ewnetm6420]

Thank you I learned a lot I also like your jewelry’s!!!!

[@btfields323]

Preach Preacher! im going through this right now! omg, it was peaches and cream in the beginning now after 2 months of starting this job, I have a a manager whos a backstabber. Im just going to keep my guard up and keep convos Short & work related but thats only if I have to talk to him!

[@sophisticatedmm3632]

Best thing to do & don't give personal information

[@dazedbitai]

Yes, Marie! You are spot on!

[@dylanjones356]

Excellent advice as always Marie :-) Thank you for addressing this topic as this situation affects so many people. I'm only 18 but my advice for anyone my age or even alot older is to keep this approach that Marie offered in any hospitality business, especially small independent restaurants. Just my advice.

[@brandon443]

Thank you for the words of encouragement. I’ve dealt with this topic on multiple occasions in the workplace because someone higher than me is jealous and/or feels threatened by me and resorts to gossiping and trying to keep me below them while they try to learn from me how to do their job better. I only disagree on the not confronting them part when you clearly recognize that’s what’s going on without a doubt in your mind. Maybe it’s because I’ve dealt with it a lot and wondered for awhile what I was doing wrong when it wasn’t even me. I feel like when a grown man does it he needs to be checked and I don’t care if I’m half his age I will still put him in check because that’s disrespectful and I won’t be held back by a jealous and insecure hater.

[@josenieves35]

thank you I feel much better about myself thank you again

[@cdorothy444]

😂I had an ex covert narcissist friend like this. First they got all friendly then after they got you, the claws come out😂😂 Same hereee

[@nicolette12764]

Just what I needed to hear, God Bless you!

[@maryanndurbrow3111]

Thanx Marie this sounds like aaaaaaaaaalot of "Christian" churches to. FYI I like the part about putting your guard up. Put your guard up in prayer lines too. #1 prayer lines can feed the gossip beast. #2 "Prayer" people try to elevate themselves the with healings that the Lord and only the LORD can do. If the "Prayer People" cannot do "miraculous healings" on you they shun you like the plague. Keep on truckin' Marie you are right on time! PS Now the Lord is using my prayers to heal. Stand back! Ha! Ha! Ha!

[@amandacarr6141]

Thank you! Thank you!

[@jburckhardt33]

awesome! i actually quit that job after two weeks of being hirwd because there was so much gossip and drma...so i step aside of that negative environment and quit ..however I found another job without that much of toxic people :)

[@cali.songbird]

First, thank you for this uplifting video and wisdom. I saw a meme that said something like, "If you find yourself having negative experiences with most everyone, then the problem is you." I do find that when I strive to be my best, be kind, not gossip on my job...I still seem to rub some wrong. One day, a new fellow employee came to my store, and the first thing she said was, "Our manager said you were awesome." But she wasn't smiling, more like jealous. I had two hard-working parents who taught me to give my best, that's all I've ever strived for. But, sometimes, I wonder were they more perfectionistic (which is not always good), and if I need to reevaluate my work performance? I don't feel competitive, I want my co-workers to do well too! I had a manager recently say, "_ _ _ _ said you're the best event specialist out of us all." It actually hurt, and I wanted to scream out, *"BUT I'M NOT TRYING TO BE BETTER THAN THEM!!!"*

[@remsleepchanthorrorfilms1830]

Thanks again for these videos really helps

[@calvinmlechick4764]

Dont trust anybody

[@shadialysruiz9872]

This helped me alot, thank you (:

[@shaniceturner7640]

Thanks for the advice

[@ewnetm6420]

I like the way you teach

[@huguybear]

Exactly got myself in this situation. Work with a new client and all is going great but one of the admin people working at the client's company was so friendly with me , sending me nice emails, sharing jokes but in my back sent an email to one of my Colleague trying indirectly to demonstrate how incompetent I was, probably playing with the fact that English is not my first language...unfortunately for him, my Colleague forwarded me his email. Very disabusing because the person was extremely friendly. I've been upset over the week end but I'll listen to your advice. I am convinced it's due to his own insecurity and jealousy. Did anyone else face a similar situation and how did you cope with it?

[@mariedubuque]

Huguyguy, I think you are absolutely right. He is probably jealous and insecure. The next time you see him, continue to be polite and professional. It really won't help to call attention to his rudeness. I think you will find that other people have found him difficult to deal with as well. You are likely not the only one.

[@huguybear]

Marie Dubuque thank you Marie for taking the time to reply. I wasn't sure about how to react to this situation but by reading your comments and other people stories it makes no doubt that I shouldn't go into playing his own game. I think I am more disappointed by the fact that I am 44 and have enough experience to let it go over my head but for some reason it did really upset me.

[@kleirynuno4837]

Wow come on preach !! This is good thanks !!

[@YolandaGal]

I feel like I go into jobs and I look young and people treat me like I am young. They don't take me seriously. I tell people I am in my mid to late thirties and they are floored, saying they thought I was in my mid twenties. Which is nice and all but... I found this with my past two jobs. I keep finding jobs that are below me and I work under someone who won't let me help. Well they let me help with the menial task they don't want to do. Like answering phones,etc. In my current job She (my new coworker) complains about how busy she is and shows me the work she is doing and how complicated it is and whenever I offer a suggestion or my help.. she immediately dismisses it. She also talks about herself alot and her family and life. When I got hired for the job I said how I had all these skills but for some reason they never let me do work using those skills and I feel like they don't have much faith in me. Maybe I am being paranoid but I feel like in the beginning of the job the person that had been there longer, said she doesn't think I have much skills or what have you and my bosses listened to her and now the act and treat me like i'm 12 not in my thirties. I feel like similar instances happened with my previous job. Maybe its my looks, my posture, i just dont know anymore. I am friendly, professional. I am looking for a new job because it's just not a good environment. Do you have any advice once I go into my new job to exude more confidence or something that maybe I am not displaying or not seeing in myself that I might be showing and might be doing wrong, so this doesn't occur in my next job?

[@heidiheidi0]

+Violasphere I am same. I'm a blond with a baby face. I'm in my thirties but people treat me like I'm just a kid. I think a lot of it has to do with job rank but also maybe work culture. Maybe you're not in the right environment where they let you "have a piece of the pie" if you know what i mean.

[@mariedubuque]

+heidiheidi0 great point, Heidi! Also, in answer to your question above, I would put the people who completely blow off your appointments on the back burner. Say, "I might have time next week. I will get back to you." And then take some time to get back to them. Basically, you are giving them a taste of their own medicine.

[@185Diannah]

+Violasphere ...I am experiencing the same things. My co-workers have 26 to 33 years (retirement yrs and age) on the job and I am the new girl on the block which is how they perceived me. Everybody is set in their ways, their social clicks, don't want to learn nothing new and afraid of the computer technology age.

[@haneysha8774]

thanks for this really need it

[@shoppingismycardi0]

Good video--all true and advice I use!

[@carmellac2000]

i got that at work, this person has left the job a year ago but the damage is done i feel like an outcast at my own job

[@makaylahollywood3677]

I am hardworking, kind and professional. I do not feel like I belong 2nd day on the job. They hired me. Then, I get the weird treatment, next day they are nice. Just weird. I am tired of weird people. Yes, I am the Happy Person. They are toxic.

[@sophisticatedmm3632]

Same here I'm the newest on my team & I feel like the oddball luckily I get to work remotely from home.

[@lisaadams3976]

thanks you for letting me know

[@olivetree5670]

Cant agree more to what you stated here

[@christianboy8008]

Have the mindset of ....i am better then they are and I'm gonna take over that person's job 😇👍❤.....BE POSITIVE AND PROFESSIONAL IF PEOPLE AT MY JOB DONT LIKE ME OH WELL IT IS WHAT IT IS

[@kaykay9873]

It's not good to be to friendly. People can take advantage of that.

[@angelsarah79]

I made a mistake by making light conversation and now I wish I never shared anything. I’m just waiting for them to turn it around and get me into trouble.

[@Doomsdaygirl8186]

that same thing happened to me got a new job as assistant supervisor everyone friendly loved everyone at first. my boss I found out was stealing time from the company she asked me to clock her out and she would leave 5 hours early. she also wanted me to forge her personal signature for training sheets because she didn't want to train me. this went on and on when she found out I wasn't going to lie she told everyone to hate me and they did. I went to corporate they investigated her and she was demoted she made my life miserable so I stepped down as assistant hoping she would leave me alone. I contacted HR to tell them I am being harrassed and workplace violence. she wouldn't let me out the door one day she is 6ft talk and I am 5ft she stood in the door and wouldn't move. Corporate keeps saying just let us know if she is harrassing you and I tell them and they ignore me. they put pressure on me to step down so that they could start me at day one two weeks before my vacation. I told them you need to get rid of her and they say oh she won't bother you and if she does let us know. I am thinking about quitting it's not worth it the company is not worth it. what a horrible experience I am sure I am not the only one who has experienced the boss from Hell who has 666 written on her forehead.

[@tnt01]

What ended up happening?

[@손정연-b2j]

there are two types of ppl who talk behind my back. one is that they never had conversation with me but belive rumors and the other are they realize I am nice and honest from some conversation but belive rumors. stupid! they all belive rumors which make bring me down. so I really enjoy have fun by myself at any time

[@farfar7773]

Hello Marie ,thank you for your great videos ,those are soooo helpful ,great job 😊 i have some questions how you can deal with people who actually don't like you for no reason and spread bad words about you , i mean people who u don't have a connection with ,secondly ,i had a crush on a guy and he liked me back ,but he had a friend who apparantly had a crush on me too ,at the end the friend sabotaged the whole occasion by being too much in the middle and brain washing the guy i liked that i'm not a good girl ,that ' s annoys me a lot and it's partly because my crush let his friend to interfere with his business too much , is this guy actually deserve a second chance or the situation is hopeless? Thanks

[@Clouditivity]

Hello, my boss treats me like a waste of space. She always puts me down as far as, I don't make food/coffee right, I cleaned something wrong ect. She thought it was suspicious that I called in the night before my shift even tho that's what I was told to do. She jokes around saying "you're fired!" all the time and it's got to the point where I try to avoid her and I have anxiety all the time when she works. The assistant manager really likes me but the boss really doesn't respect me and I don't know what to do anymore. I really try my best.

[@mariedubuque]

+BringXonXtheXpain if you go into the situation realizing that no matter what you do, she will find fault with you, it might help. Obviously she has a problem.

[@callalys]

And what do you answer, when they ask you personal stuff? And how do you handle it, when they ve gone to the boss complaining about you?

[@ArcherOO78]

I have a aunt that when my mother sister or my family say hi with a loving warm embrace that we haven't seen her in a long while acts like we don't exist. example: my mother hugs her excited to see her holds her hand and my aunt let's her hand fall out of my mother's hand .. I feel she's intimidated by our family for some reason and feels she always needs to show off or thinks she's better than us

[@mariedubuque]

+ARCHEROO78 It sounds like your mother is a warm and friendly person and is simply trying to reach out to your aunt. I would keep trying and hope that she gradually begins to feel more at ease with your family and less intimidated.

[@ArcherOO78]

Thanks for your response. My aunt is a show off and always trying to 1 up my mother or put her down in some way .. I feel bad for my mother but I told her not to act so excited if she isn't excited to see you be nice but not so excited. I subscribed great channel! Thank for your videos ☺

[@malikhastings5630]

hi marry, so i have been having this issue for the past year. i am always misunderstood with what i say even if its crystal clear. i would give someone a compliment. i would say something that is meant to be nice. but people twist it inside their heads and pretend like i was mocking them or just simply thinking inwas better. and i notice them come up with irritation and give a remark that confirms my theory. so i am fluent in speaking english. a couple of friends of mine arent and they aspire to be. so whenever i correct something i would get a look like i was just underminding them when i was simply speaking knowledge. i never say, oh ur english is so bad or pethatic or horrible. is this something that i should work on or other people should? because it isnt just about english. that was just at the top of my head. it is mostly in everything.

[@zabayomi]

How to stop thinking everyone is laughing about you behind your back and secretly hating you even if it makes no sense. overthink every conversation like 100 times . And put every comment,action as an prove that someone doesnt like you?

[@mariedubuque]

+ZabaYomi I understand, you are sensitive. I am too! Sometimes it really isn't you. They are simply having a bad day and taking it out on you.

[@zabayomi]

Marie Dubuque thanks for understanding and responding.

[@SAMA-io4pr]

how to solve me and my mother problems

[@guidofeliz8384]

Hi Marie. What you are about to read is not in my head nor is it a movie. It's a new reality for me at the job. There's something strange going on at the site in reference to me as an employee. Beyond the shadow of doubt, I know that someone has been going around defaming my good name and character in the building. As you know, this act is against the law. This is called defamation of character. Am I right? Why do I say this? Many of the people who have been friendly to me for more than two years have suddenly stopped communicating, especially when I am posted in the lobby. This new attitude towards me started about 5 weeks ago. I firmly believe that many of the employees from various departments are trying to make me feel unwanted hoping that I would leave the site. I spoke to several of my coworkers about what is happening to me. They told me to simply ignore the silent treatment, do my job and go home. Of course, this is easier said than done. There is a group effort to make me feel unwanted and uncomfortable. If I did something wrong or offended anyone, I would like to know exactly what I did that would compel a group of employees who have been saying hello to me for more than two years to suddenly stop all communications. By the way, this is only happening to me and not my coworkers. The silent treatment is only directed to me when posted in the lobby. I don't know who started the rumor, why the rumor was started and what exactly was spread about me. The rumor has ruined my good name and character not only in the lobby but on different floors and into several departments. If one or two employees decided that they no longer wanted to talk to me, I would not bother to post my story here. However, the number of people who continue to give me the silent treatment grows on a daily basis. Everyday, without exaggeration, a new employee is added to the DON'T TALK TO ME list, if you know what I mean. It is hard to work and be ignored. I make a decent salary and so walking away from the job is not a good idea. Questions: 1. What is the best way to handle the silent treatment at the job? 2. What would you do in my situation? 3. What is the main reason for giving an employee the silent treatment? Thank you.

[@finnrobson3081]

Hi Marie, me and my best friend are still best friends of course but our group has conjoined with another. The other group is fine apart from one person who really clashes with my personality, I try to keep out of his business as he was the big reason why his last friendship split up. His personality constantly changes, one second he's laughing with you the next he's ridiculing you. I just don't like his energy, what should I do?

[@lianoxortaroudia450]

What you suggest needs LOADS of strength to do.. Not everybody has it. I dont.. :(

[@ArcherOO78]

I think it's classless

[@laprepper]

you're right. gossip is trashy as heck.

[@frankcanon8095]

Wicked people will size a nice person up first, then they start throwing verbal darts at them.

[@Brightestlightt]

Where are you?? We miss you

[@SheanaMessori]

What if if your best friend actually hates you and talks about you behind your back

[@brokennut7823]

Hi Marie, I was wondering if you have advice on prioritizing? Like for example today I skipped sports practice to study for an important test, and even though that felt like the right choice I felt guilty, especially since my coach really likes me and I felt like I disappointed him. Is this the right way to prioritize?

[@mariedubuque]

+brokennut you did the right thing. Coaches are great, but sometimes they get too caught up in their sport and forget the real reason you are in school in the first place!

[@thaolehai8979]

I've got a friend and he wants to be more but i know.. I know he's trouble. Should i still give him a chance?

[@jessicachan3320]

I'm going threw the samething at work I was at work asking an opinion and so how the person at my work reported the person behind my back and I found out and I went and told my friend about it and I tryied to fix it but he seriously hates me and I want to fix the friendship but he wants nothing to do with me what can I do I can not let it go I'm worried sick about him I need help to fix it please any suggestions

[@lindseyhebert5568]

I feel so back stabbed saying to me that I m putting lies which is false I’m a hard worker they brought me down thinking they have the power over me to deny what they did to me they don’t understand my disease as soon as someone hurts my feelings it makes me cry

[@ZE308AC]

Or just tell them you need to focus on your and tell them to kindly leave you alone

[@prettyinpinku]

Marie, do you have any advice for someone who has to listen to their boss bad mouth their employees all the time? We got a new manager at my job and she is a very "type A" personality and doesn't seem to like many people here. I can understand why she might feel threatened or uncomfortable being new and all but she is constantly venting to me about how much she dislikes her own employees and I'm forced to be a part of her negativity. I am in a situation were sometime were working in the same room for a while and I can not avoid conversation. How do I be professional without making my boss turn on me for not giving in to her negativity? -thank you

[@mariedubuque]

+prettyinpinku is there any way you can change the subject immediately when she begins her rant? I know it's tricky, but the more you listen to her or chime in, the worse her venting sessions will become. Have a topic in mind (something really positive) that you could start discussing the minute her tone changes. That way, you are letting her know subtly that gossiping about people in the office is not okay.

[@prettyinpinku]

+Marie Dubuque thankyou! I will try that, I think that will help a lot

[@MrAmbassador11]

Agitators, Instigators and Manipulators (AIMs)

[@adelineproverbs3139]

My only respond to them is , mm, wow, that’s crazy, lol!

[@TheChefComic]

what does it mean when a girl says she wants to keep our relationship professional? my dad is a property manager and in moves in a cute girl, after talking to her for about 2 weeks and getting to know what she like to do for fun , I say when you get some free time would you like to go for a hike because she likes being active , she said thanks for the offer but I would like our relationship to be professional . which is weird because she's always starting conversations like when she sees me she says hey how you been how you doing ? I'm confused .

[@mariedubuque]

+LEO UR she is just being friendly, and that's all. Maybe you misinterpreted her demeanor as flirtatious when it really wasn't.

[@TheChefComic]

Can I change this or should I just stop trying ? Thanks for the help

[@mellazo2151]

+LEO UR If it's okay, I'd like to give my two cents to you. Like Marie said, she wants to be friendly with you at work, but has No Interest in a romantic relationship or friendship outside of work with you. She is not "into" you as they say. I'm sure there are plenty of other wonderful women who are though. I hope this helps, Leo. : )

[@TheChefComic]

Mel Lazo thanks ya the more opinions the better . It's just so hard when a girl is being a bitch you know that there's no chance. but when a girl comes up to you and says hey how was your weekend, it's hard to not think she might be into you .

[@mariewilliams194]

Be nice and polite too everyone so they will not be mean to you.

[@katmpelletier]

What do you do when it's your boss talking about you behind your back?

[@mariedubuque]

That is a tough one. Be very careful (of course.) Keep the conversations brief and professional, yet friendly. You don't want to share any information that he/she could use as ammunition...meaning he could embellish what you say and then talk behind your back to others....which it sounds like he is already doing. You just don't want to give him anything to talk about! And if you could try to change departments or get a different job, all the better...I know, easier said than done.

[@Saravostoo888]

She’s actually way below me and not above me

[@heidiheidi0]

How do you get people at work to respect your time? I work in a busy department where I have to make appointments with people. It really upsets me when people stand me up for meetings all the time, especially those who are at my level. I just constantly feel a general lack of respect and it gets under my skin. Why do people not respect my time?

[@m.yolande7672]

🖤♾🌨