People Pleaser REHAB. | EP16 Wherever You’re At

[@humo2481]

the way i paused mid studying bc mihed uploaded. girls, this is where i'm at fr.

[@whoskhads]

Girl …me and you

[@aa1iyxh8._]

Girl you and me both😭

[@beegueye]

I am literally sobbing. This episode brought back so much trauma I carry from childhood that makes me to be a people pleaser. I always try to be the best daughter, the best student in class, and the hardest working person at work to the point of burning out. Mind you, this trait made me get hate from people from different areas of my life because they saw me as a threat. I am learning to heal and stop trying to please people when nobody really cares.

[@nadineeldokh6403]

I really needed to hear this, you got me crying after 10 min cause same may Allah swt permit us to blossom with well being

[@mally721]

No honestly people pleasing will forever be confusing like I want to be a nice Muslim who is there for everyone and a helping hand but at the same time it’s hard to figure out when people start to take advantage of that. Like yea I want Allah to be pleased with me and I shouldn’t be doing stuff with an expectation from anything in return from people but how do you know when to stop. Like what boundaries do we set as Muslims? Also in todays world everyone is all about just pleasing themself and just caring about themselves which is dangerous n not something I wanna fall into either… may Allah help us and guide us to the straight path always.

[@ifrahChannel-ex5ot]

السلام عليكم ورحمة الله وبركاته! 🌷 Ask allah to aid you in this issue and to show you the bad people in your life so you know to stay away from them and how to set boundaries. Never stop doing good and being kind even to the disbelievers. My biggest advice is to read/watch the seerah of the prophet Muhammad sallalhu alayhi wasalam to see how his character and how he treated people good EVEN when they treated him terrible. The prophet was forbearing and patient . My 2nd advice is sincere intention, generosity is through and through. Whether the person treats you terrible or amazing. Sincere intention is what extinguishes people pleasing. Don’t let any shaitan (human or jinn) whisper in you’re ear to make you stop doing good deeds. May الله continue your good deeds and may we all reunite and be neighbors in the highest jannah آمین. 💐 الله loves those who are patient, and he is with those who are patient. And he loves those who are forbearing. O believers! Seek comfort in patience and prayer. Allah is truly with those who are patient. (2:153) Ibn Abbas reported: The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, said to Al-Ashajj ‘Abdul al-Qays, “Verily, you have two qualities beloved to Allah. They are forbearance and patience.” In another narration, the Prophet said, “They are forbearance and modesty.” Source: Ṣaḥīḥ Muslim 17 Grade: Sahih (authentic) according to Muslim

[@AustinMama]

Same, I needed this video. Your last videos have really spoken to me. It helps to know I'm not crazy lol a You & I are going through the same struggles. It's so hard when you realize that growth sometimes takes you away from persons, places, things that you once related to or liked. I am having a hard time figuring how long time relationships fit into my life now that I am closer to Allah and serious about Deen. May Allah gives us all strength to continue pushing and striving to do the right thing, Ameen.

[@Faduma_]

Only 5 minutes in but I LOVE how real and transparent your podcasts are Allahumma Barak. It’s refreshing to see that the turmoil many of us Muslimahs go through is not just in our minds. I struggled a lot with people pleasing and the only way I got rid of it was when I removed my image from social media and learned what does Allah love. I constantly thought I was flawed or broken but once I deleted the noise i was able to find what I enjoy and have my own beauty standards according to Islam not what online shows. I heard this in a lecture once and will never forget it, it was…you have a spouse, if that spouse told you I like when you wear your hair like this or when you dress this way, you’d try to impress them by showing up that way right? Now flip that and ask yourself in any situation Allah loves when I dress this way or talk or help people in this way (it can fall into anything tbh) and use that as your template to get rid of people pleasing. You won’t say yes or allow certain actions or things because you have Allah’s love at stake. The only One who is stable unlike the human is Allah and trying to please humans is exhausting cause they can switch up and are in need of the Creator as well. Thank you so much for bringing up these topics and I pray we all can navigate & find victory within those emotions and feelings that we struggle with.

[@Faduma_]

The Hadith that came to mind. Abu Hurairah (May Allah be pleased with him) reported: The Prophet (ﷺ) said, "When Allah loves a slave, calls out Jibril and says: 'I love so-and-so; so love him'. Then Jibril loves him. After that he (Jibril) announces to the inhabitants of heavens that Allah loves so- and-so; so love him; and the inhabitants of the heavens (the angels) also love him and then make people on earth love him".

[@hudi_mano]

Wallah I appreciate this vulnerability so much, it’s soooo refreshing and needed in this space. I know it can be difficult especially since you’re putting yourself in a position where ppl can judge, but how could anyone criticize anyone as amazing as you?! ❤

[@chhf08765]

Every human is born Muslim, it’s the parents that either guide their children to the right path (Islam) or elsewhere subhanallah 🤲🏻

[@Igloo1000lal]

Mihed, your such an inspiration. Thank you for being so openly raw and sharing your insights with us🙏 I hope you find all the peace and love in the world because you deserve it. Unconditionally. 💕

[@sad1yo]

15:15 THE ANXIETY OF GETTING ALL BS RATHER THAN THE ANXIETY OF STOP U FROM EVEN TRYING AAAAAAHHHHH YOURE SOEAKING TO MY SOUL RN I wana sob

[@aisha_beehive]

Mihed is so relatable honestly. She clocked me soo bad in this episode

[@xsuemey]

Mihed you're halfway there, yay! Talking about these topics isn't easy, especially on this kind of apps, but I'm so proud of you. I think you've already taken a huge step, and the fact that you've done this shows just how much you want to work on this. And you should never feel alone many of us struggle with this may Allah makes it easy on us♥️

[@zaymac7776]

I'm always looking forward to watching your podcasts. They are simply brightening and amazing! Continue the great work. Love from Cali 💝

[@Az.Bazer99]

Well this feels like I’m sitting doing a tea talk with a dear friend🫶🏼

[@bintkhorasani7015]

i think its important for us to realize that not everyone is a friend and not everyone wants the best for us. we can try so hard to be a good friend and to please this person in hopes that they will like us but at the end of the day not everyone is going to feel like that. some people are just at different wavelengths and different mindsets and they cannot always appreciate what you have to offer. many people in life are meant to be temporary passersby and everything was just destined to happen this way so sometimes we just have to accept the reality and try to move on and rewire our brains to deal with it better.

[@ines8925]

this video feels like a therapy session

[@chhf08765]

Ohmygod I needed this so much, thank you Mihed may Allah bless you endlessly 🥺🌹I relate to everything you’re saying

[@susidost1533]

dropt EVERYTHING as soon as i saw youuu girl🤍🤍

[@MihedAsma]

so real 😚

[@batoulabass9409]

Mihed, this episode seriously helped me so much. I’m so glad that you’re able to be vulnerable online because so many people are afraid to, but, by doing so you make so many people feel heard and seen. Especially Muslim girls/hijabis because there aren’t many that shed light on these topics online. Thank you for being you💞

[@noormahmoud1077]

this episode was tew real (and very much needed) thank u mihed for being our relatable vulnerable queen!

[@Bbissou]

Practice being ok with someone being “mad” at you, sit in the feeling and keep telling yourself I am Safe. You are only responsible for what you do with your emotions, not others’ emotions or their reactions. If you sit in the discomfort of not being “perfect” and tell your body It’s ok we’re safe you can relax and take a break, you will create a new pathway in your brain that will help you be comfortable with your own self and your own decisions outside of others. It’s a journey and it takes a lot of work!

[@hamidar2041]

We are so similar... 😲 i can relate to pretty much everything you said. In sha Allah we can be better at setting boundaries and feeling okay afterwoods 😓

[@personaljennah2549]

Honestly I used to struggle with the same thing growing up but now I feel like I don’t struggle with it as much and I will tell you what happened. So I had the same thing growing up I was bullied as well so making sure that everyone likes me is like a BIG thing and people pleasing was my moto in life. Until around 2 years ago when i consciously made the effort to choose Islam myself I realized that I don’t care what people think of me or how people perceive me the only thing I need to obsess over is how Allah sees me. And I think really diving deep into how can I become a better Muslim and have good morals values and character, people pleasing won’t be a thing because you are too busy thinking of how Allah perceived you, something that I eternal and not temporary like peoples perception of you, to be able to filter peoples opinions is to ask yourself “ does that align with Allah wants me to do and wants me to be ? If it’s a yes then go for it and see how you can do that, if it’s a no then definelty push it through the other ear. When I started wearing the hijab and abaya and changed, I got push back from family friends parents, people said that this isn’t for my age or I don’t look good or they thought I joined some type of group, people were joking about when I will take it off and commented on how I looked. Even though it hurts and I was thinking to myself that “ oh why can’t people just accept me the way I am” I still thought that you know I only care about what Allah thinks, and if this is how Allah wants me to dress then I will do it and I will stand my ground. And I want to let you know that this will never go away completely, even the prophet used to get upset when people called him crazy a magician and so many other wild names, but what keeps you going and doesn’t shake your ground and shake your perception of yourself is thinking of “ how am I in the eyes of Allah”. Also really try a lot of things and see what resonates with you and as soon as you get uncomfortable doing something, put it on the “ not me” list and don’t force it, when I started getting to know myself I realized I am a person who LOVES being busy, I like to be doing something ALL THE TIME, relaxing time is not really relaxing for others, and I just tapped into that and continued. Some people disliked that and commented on it and made me feel like I was weird and doing way too much, but I realized that this is who I am this is what I love and if Allah will ask about the time I spend here in this temporary life then I want to make sure to be able to say “ I didn’t waste a single minute doing nothing good for me my future and my akhira” explore lots of things and tap into what you love, keep doing it and see who you are and who you can be in the eyes of Allah and don’t let anyone shake you but what should shake you is Allahs perception of you and how you are as a Muslim, something eternal and wouldn’t change with the opinions of people.

[@aksoA67]

I love your videos, this one especially, I’m 18 minutes in and I feel so seen

[@Jss_muna]

Yeah everyone in the Patreon did want this topiccc 😭😭😭

[@MihedAsma]

you ask i deliver

[@glorysdiaryy]

Loved this sis ❤

[@KhadijahZinatsa]

Ahhh my girl posteddd❤

[@maryam6165]

i loveddd this and actually relate so much!!! may Allah bless you for this

[@ghadahajji7305]

❤I really enjoyed this thanks ❤️

[@m21285]

Hi Mihed, im sort of new to your channel. Ive watched a few of your videos so far; youre very funny and well spoken. Thank you for being real, I am also in the same place as you

[@Liyana.Zahraa]

Assalamualaikum mihed I benefit from ur videos and I'm also a recovering ppl pleaser and when you were talking towards the end of the pod I just thought about how ppl pleasing leaves you vulnerable to the Dajjal bc there will be even a Muslim who thinks they're strong enough to resist him and wont be able to. And I feel like ppl pleasing is also rooted in self doubt like you talked about trying to be what you think will help you get more appreciation from family and not feeling like you are doing enough. What if Dajjal calls you to follow him and you know you shouldn't be you remember his signs but everyone convinced you you didn't read enough or study enough and you believe them? Not just you be me too...new fear unlocked?May Allah protect us all from the fitna of the Dajjal and make us aware of his signs

[@amina_ing]

I relate to you SO much, Milha! Being your own therapist, trying to figure out what’s happening with you and your mind and just being so overwhelmed with everything around you. Like “Who am I?”, “Why do I feel this way?”, “Is this right/wrong?”, “Am I trying too hard or not enough?” and so on. Those are questions I ask myself constantly. BUT. There’s a reason why you and I feel this way: We’re on a journey, constantly. Especially we girlies are just crazy sometimes with our emotions and self-doubts likeee😶🫠But that’s okay. It’s okay to feel so many things at the same time because the only thing that matters is that *YOU* want to improve for *YOURSELF* . And that’s what matters. So I really wanna thank you for this episode because now I know that I’m not the only one who feels this way and has struggles with my personality and confidence🤍

[@108bloom]

Mihed, it’s so clear you’re an ENFJ! You have to look into it. I’ve always resonated with you myself with things you’ve said but these are all characteristics of an ENFJ in that sense that because we cannot easily turn a blind eye, and use social environment for most of our understanding of others, it makes it very hard to have a sense of self. There’s so much I could say about this topic but please, read into your type! It’s a little bit of both nature and nurture but an ENFJ would probably benefit most around people with strong boundaries, which like you my mom did not have. It doesn’t mean good or bad, but I bet you your partner is either of a stoic type or a lot more emotionally solid, to help balance you out.

[@Sabrina-iu3id]

Got a new episode for my walk! Also, honestly be glad that you didnt have chat during college cause char is just making me more and more lazy😭😭😭 also its horrible for the environment

[@balsammohammed9140]

ABOUT TIME MISS MIHED

[@KhadijahZinatsa]

I’m also a people pleaser, unfortunately

[@m.r539]

32:08 okay i think possibly could be this but i might be wrong. In ur head u think if i fit what other people want they will like me and how could they not- first of all most people don’t even know what they like or dislike and fitting into that isn’t possible as what they might like is for a certain person not everyone they meet. Also some people don’t want u to meet every single thing they want because its just not possible and seems fake which is off putting as it takes away the authenticity of a person and in a way their personality. When someone always agrees with u and never has their own opinion its not fun to speak to them or ask for their opinion as it seems they never truly tell u whats in their heart and instead what they say is less valuable as it’s not authentic. This is just my little theory 🤍🤍

[@fmd4589]

Mihed posted

[@nadhira2922]

Wa alaikum asalam ❤

[@ahmadalraeesi3949]

فلوق جميل ❤😊❤

[@anaids_beautyy6948]

i feel seen 😔

[@Sacdiyaabdiazizmahamud-po1rm]

lmiss you so much 😢❤

[@Bbissou]

37:44 not you seeking validation from miss gpt 😂😂

[@MaryamTayeh-k2c]

consider me pleased 🤧

[@Lujyn37]

YAY

[@emmatu11ah]

Wow r u my brain

[@hfsfilms3590]

Pls post vlogs

[@DrSelmaben01Selmamed]

Le zhooomes dz 🫶🤍

[@Hercub]

🤍🤍🤍🤍