People We Just Do Not UNDERSTAND

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Fair Use: For educational purposes and criticism.

[@Orah90]

If he DESPRETLY needed frozen meals he could have just gone to the shops and bought them himself. You know if he's THAT DETERMINED to not learn how to survive.

[@zebnemma]

I just don't get why there's so many stories out there about men acting like absolute children that wants their girlfriend to mommy them. Why does that happen? I don't hear about women doing the reverse of wanting their boyfriend to be their pseudo daddy? "I cut my finger on a onion now I can't cook until it's healed waaaaah" sums up the entire story pretty much.

[@loosilu]

@@zebnemma Because mommy did everything for them, they saw Mommy doing everything for daddy, and they assumed that's how it's supposed to be.

[@PyroWolfofEarth]

Yea, exactly! he has his own money and can buy his own meals from the store. and if he's that incompetent then he can either go live in his own aparentment since he can at least do his own laundry or go back and live with his parents.

[@valerieb8541]

What if he's special needs? I'm autistic sometimes a trip to the store is just too much. I was taught at a young age to cook but I'm high functioning, those more severe may never be able to do it. Plus textures and routines are very important to us. Possible he was never diagnosed. Not everyone who doesn't cook is lazy.

[@valerieb8541]

@@PyroWolfofEarth Hope you don't ever have a special needs child!!!!! That might be the issue and not he's lazy. I'm autistic and know how it feels to be judge for it. Lucky my parents taught me basic skills, but those more severe may never learn. I can't eat certain foods because of texture, actually hurts me to eat them. The woman should look into possibility this is the issue and not laziness. A little sympathy goes a long way!!!! Some people are lazy but some will never be able to learn.

[@ellasummers9671]

I'm that person who says "no" jokingly meaning i'll do it. But I'll also make sure to pick my moments of when to do the joke especially if a person has repeatedly asked me to stop. The "no" girl went too far.

[@Renge43]

I’d say he should take that no and see it as bullet dodged. She is not mature enough to be married if she doesn’t recognize that there is a time and place. And especially since op has asked/ told her repeatedly to stop.

[@Musicalsfangirl]

She said her joking ‘no’ and exactly the wrong time and it’s backfired on her. How did she not see that coming? It could be also dangerous, like when it comes to consent for sex etc.

[@tiffanyhaddox7499]

I’m just guessing, but based off her parents reactions I’m thinking that they were among the first ones that told her it was funny to do that all the time.

[@queenriko6181]

Same. I’ll say say no while I go to do it but I only do this with ppl I’m comfortable with.

[@emmajumet7367]

If you jokingly say "no" you should make sure it's nothing serious and say it like "noooo". Sounds like she developed a bad habit and never bothered to actually try to stop.

[@cgamejewels]

First story: The real confusing part is why is she still with him? Second story: Why did he even propose to someone so immature? Why did he even date her for so long? She wasn't joking. She said she was joking so she wouldn't get in trouble. She was setting up for a future abusive relationship. Third story: the brother's spouses were welcomed, but she was not. GTHO She should have had the divorce papers waiting for him when he got home.

[@anonymus.ferrett]

also the fact she was probably embarrassed by what they said and went home because she probably felt like she had ruined it for everyone. ik i would go home if someone said that about me. it would be so heartbreaking and awkward to stay in that place with those people that clearly don’t care for me being there. and he said “why were you eavesdropping?” dude she wasn’t, you all were just talking super loud💀

[@phoenixraven4711]

This is my response to the first story, with a different perspective. I am autistic and grew up in a household that was semi-neglectful (not intentionally, just that everyone had their own issues to sort through and didn't realise), so I was never taught how to cook. How to use the stove, an oven, a toaster, the air-fryer, etc. I was also never really taught properly how to try new things, even if I thought I wouldn't like them. This led to everyone in the house being pretty picky and us only having the exact same few meals every night for dinner, sometimes even having take-out 3 or more times a week, and generally free of vegetables aside from mashed potato and maybe some carrot. I taught myself how to microwave things, and asked a few times how to use the toaster, so I eventually learned. However it took much longer than it might for some people, because I've also always been very disinterested in cooking. The way I grew up didn't make it seem very fun, or explorative, or even flavourful. Which means that I never had the drive to learn how to use certain appliances, so I never asked. And when I did ask and was shown, it never sank in, even after the fifth time being told. I was genuinely trying, and I hate feeling so utterly useless at cooking, but it just wouldn't stick for me. Heck, when my family later bought a new toaster I didn't use it for several months because it genuinely intimidated me. It was unfamiliar and new and a big change, and even though I knew it was such a simple kitchen item to operate, I couldn't motivate myself to do it. So, if we were to pretend this guy is possibly autistic, the facts are: He wasn't raised to be interested in cooking, so he has no motivation to learn and he'll struggle to grasp it no matter how many times he's been told. He's exploring an entirely new world full of different things he has no confidence in operating, and he's feeling pressure to get it straight away. He's expected as an adult to be completely independent in this, and so he has to apply what he's been told completely on his own in situations involving things that could possibly injure him or even burn the place down if he does it wrong. He's picky in his eating habits and wasn't given exactly what he likes, so he feels thrown off by it. Maybe the balance of foods makes him feel comforted? What I'm saying is exploring the kitchen is an incredibly scary thing that he's never done before. If his partner genuinely wants him to learn, she's gonna have to be his mother for a while. She'll have to take him through the cooking process, step-by-step, letting him watch, participate, and then later *she* can step back and observe, and always jump in if he needs help. She should take note of the fact that he likes his salads perfectly balanced (maybe it's a textural thing), and he can show her how he likes it for whenever she buys the groceries for him next. Maybe she could show him how to balance out a salad without wasting anything if he isn't confident in that. Something they could do is write down a lot of different processes and tape them to the wall next to the appliances or keep them in a drawer/box. Like how to operate the stove, and what certain things look like when cooked, so that he can always have a safety net to fall back on. There are two possibilities in this scenario. Either he's a lazy guy who genuinely doesn't want to make an effort and would rather float along doing what's he's been doing because it's easy and he doesn't have to try, OR; He truly does want to make the effort but he's riddled with insecurity and worries about messing up, getting it wrong, forgetting things, wasting food, etc. I think she should have an honest talk with him to try and understand why he's struggling to grasp things, and why he's struggling so much with cooking. She'll know for sure whether he's worth her time or not. And hopefully, if he does need help, she'll be willing to show him. Thanks for reading this if you did, I know it's very messily structured but I'm not much of a writer so my apologies. I'm working on myself a lot btw, and I've found a few recipes I'm excited to try, so hopefully I can make some progress with my cooking abilities :)

[@elenarodriguez602]

Thank you for writing all of that out. I'm also autistic, and I'm terrified of the kitchen. My mom would yell a lot when we helped her make dinner, she'd mock me for not knowing how to do things that she had never taught me, and she'd get annoyed when I couldn't remember how to make something she had taught me only once MONTHS before. Your comment made me feel not only validated, but also hopeful for my future progress, and I'm happy to hear that you are also making progress.

[@stainedveil]

i'm not autistic, but this is how i grew up as well :') i'm in this exact situation

[@sandrapettijohn6400]

My child has the same issues. This first story hit home. Thank you so much for letting people look at it from a different side

[@ItsLouski]

Yeah, while listening to the first story I also had the thought that "Maybe he's autistic"

[@scarletfokx1449]

Its not THAT bad for an adult to do these things though, autism be damned. My friend is a teacher for kids with need from grade10-12 and these kids either have single parents or both parents but they are too busy to do anything for their kids. None of them have these issues and they don't even do Home ED.

[@Vibes4Life536]

The last one, LEAVE HIM! He has no consideration for your feelings and clearly doesn’t love you enough to want you to be involved.

[@stanloonatunes6093]

OP's gf in the 2nd story deserved it. she knows well enough when to joke and when not to joke around, and look. she start this joke when OP is proposing to her and gets upset he took it too seriously. like OF COURSE HE WOULD TAKE THIS SERIOUSLY because the fact that you chose to joke around and said "No." which made OP panicked because there was probably something wrong in the relationship for her to be that way & ALSO made OP's friend & family shock upon hearing his gf's response. And she has the audacity to say OP is being overdramatic

[@yunhoistic7839]

kpop stan???

[@stanloonatunes6093]

@@yunhoistic7839 heyy 🤸🤸

[@yunhoistic7839]

@@stanloonatunes6093 HEYYY

[@Kayenne54]

OP should totally take her "NO" seriously, and Nope out of that relationship. She's done the best thing for both of them. They're not on the same page about any of this. He'd be wise to let it stand, get a refund on the ring, and let it all go. Time to be much happier with someone who isn't so immature.

[@crystalgemgirl731]

There IS something wrong with the relationship, but it ain't OP.

[@juliebiggerbear7300]

Story 1 is about weaponized incompetence. As long as somebody is cooking for him, he will always refuse to learn, because he always gets his way by “forgetting“. I think the best thing OP can do is either keep living with him and just cook her own meals separately, or kick him to the curb and find somebody who isn’t a complete baby lol! Story 3 though… It’s almost like OP married her frienemy and walked in on a familial version of mean girl high school cafeteria gossip. Such a cringy family! Considering the other spouses were there, it makes me wonder if they had to go through the same kind of BS that she is.

[@loosilu]

THASNK YOU ! He is DETERMINED to never ever cook. Stop cooking for him and let him starve. He's a big baby.

[@loosilu]

@Deanna L. Newton That's what they want you to think. But come on, a toaster? That's deliberate.

[@valerieb8541]

Or he is special needs!!!!! Took me years before I could use a toaster. I have autism and other special needs. My parents were patient enough to keep showing me until I got it. My brain works different and that is ok. Sad the parents never taught him how to do it. Probably thought it's faster they do it for him.

[@valerieb8541]

What if the guy is special needs? These comments make me so angry and sad. That people judge so fast. I'm autistic and took years to learn too use a toaster, cook, a lot of things. But I was lucky my parents were willing to keep showing me til I got it. Feel sad he doesn't have that. Some who are severe will never cook. His parents did him no favors and should have got him help.

[@neaaa_wow]

@@loosilu i have never ever used a toaster before. absolutely no clue how to use it.

[@SMD8]

In the last story, was the man forced to marry his wife? He obviously doesn't like or respect her. His family has no desire to get to know her, let alone welcome her. I'm sure she was heartbroken hearing their terrible comments 😥

[@tiffanyhaddox7499]

I’m honestly surprised that she didn’t pack his crap and ship it to his parents since he seems to love spending time with them badmouthing her. I bed she’s also the bread winner of the house too.

[@kgs2280]

I can’t remember the exact term for the boyfriend in the first story, but it’s something like “feigned helplessness”. If he can use a computer, he can use a damned toaster, an oven, a stove and a dishwasher. GF did the best she could. If he doesn’t like it, he can go to McDonalds every night.

[@Jlisa21]

Weaponised incompetence?

[@kgs2280]

@@Jlisa21 Yes! That’s it! Thank you.

[@vloggerbonakid6178]

@@Jlisa21 Honestly, I thought it was internalised misogyny, but from what I'm reading in the comments section, that must be more accurate.

[@PyroWolfofEarth]

Or he can buy his own damn frozen meals. it shouldn't be her responsibility to buy his frozen meals if she's going to be gone because he refuses to learn how to cook.

[@kgs2280]

@@vloggerbonakid6178 I think internalized misogyny is more when a woman starts believing that she really is inferior to men, and believes that men should be the “masters of the house”. Of course, men spend much of their lives internalizing misogyny because they hear all the misogynistic comments all their lives, from their fathers, brothers, friends, advertising, and, sadly, from some women.

[@minisamuri2]

tbh I feel like, with the story where the girlfriend was saying no as a joke, if I was in that situation I would've told them that if they're gonna keep answering no to questions as a joke I would always take it as their serious answer. That way they either break up with you(which is the outcome anyways if they continue the joke and never see anything wrong with it) or they realize that it isn't a funny joke and are going to stop doing it.

[@lowbudgetadvice95]

If I had a boyfriend who refused to cook, I would print out a binder full of instructions and write it like it was meant for a three or four year old (when my mom started teaching me how to make food; especially cookies during halloween and christmas). Luckily my boyfriend knows how to cook better than myself. I would probably eventually dump him.

[@dantastic29]

Wait wha- actually dump him or if he couldn’t cook? None of my business, u don’t have to answer I’m just curious

[@lowbudgetadvice95]

@@dantastic29 no if he acted like the guy in the story. I cut toxic people out. I already did so with my own family members.

[@dantastic29]

@@lowbudgetadvice95 You cut them off? Idek you but I'm proud of you, that's awesome not everyone has the mental and emotional strength to do so

[@lowbudgetadvice95]

@@dantastic29 thanks

[@valerieb8541]

This us a great idea!!! I'm autistic and that would definitely be helpful. My dad was a chef and that's how he taught me. Can't blame someone if they are special needs or parents never bothered to teach them. I feel for this guy because his life is going to be so hard. People don't have sympathy about these things.

[@Aurochhunter]

I always figured cooking was an important skill we all needed to have, not every needs to know how to be a plumber or a carpenter, but everyone needs to eat.

[@loosilu]

Exactly. A grown ass man should be able to feed himself.

[@Aurochhunter]

@@loosilu To be honest: the only cooking I can recall my father ever doing is barbecuing, if my mother wasn't around he'd either order food, or take my siblings and I to a restaurant; or on rare occasions my grandmother would help out.

[@loosilu]

@@Aurochhunter My mom always did the cooking, but since she passed, he cooks for himself. He's not great but he's competent. He can make a steak and vegetables, simple stuff. And he can definitely use the Toaster!

[@MisschiefsCat]

My dad’s a chef. Which of course makes me lucky(besides my serious autoimmune health issues). But it was my moms(bio and step) who had trouble cooking. Bio mom picked a few meals that my sibs and I liked and perfected them. Except for the time she dyed our Halloween cookies green using spirulina.* Shudders* Still makes me gag thinking about it. Stepmom makes amazing bread and savory and sweet hand pies. Excellent baker! But her millet casserole? Blech! Anyone who says they like it is lying. Surprisingly, given my diagnosis of extreme/complicated Crohn’s disease, good tasty food rocks my world!

[@2s1t0b4k]

Last story: that kind of in laws and husband is the kind where the in laws find another woman for her husband. She's not suppose to go because the side chick is suppose to be there...happens a lot

[@Feathered_Crow]

Honestly for the last story, it doesn't sound like the family want to get to know the wife. Like you're gonna go on family trips and not bother asking the new member? Instead you want spouses who aren't in the family fully yet? There has to be something else

[@softfairy_xo_]

I have trouble cooking too - I'm insanely klutzy (I've sprained my rib in my sleep) so using stove or oven by myself is practically forbidden, but I try and even then, I don't blame anyone for it or expect others to cook for me. I know to use toaster + microwave and it works perfectly fine The person proposing...I feel so bad for them. Their gf had no right to do that and get upset when they were upset over it. She's immature and careless and I hope they work it out or they find a better partner To the girl who went with her husband.....I honestly think she should contact a lawyer if things don't get better - she doesn't need someone/people like that in her life. Her husband is two-faced to her and shit talks her behind her back? She deserves so much better and I hope she knows that

[@woffee_8]

My day isn't complete without listening to Kyutie's stories, it's like hanging out with a sister I've never had, also girl you're becoming more and more adorable each and every day, hope your day becomes as beautiful as you make mine, LOVE YOU sis, take good care of yourself💜💕💜💕💜💕💜💕💜

[@dinaboop]

That boyfriend wants a mommy to take care of him like a helpless little baby forever. She should dump him and find a real man, ugg.

[@19WolfGirl74]

Okay, i like to jokingly say no when asked to do things but I make it very clear when I’m joking and when I’m serious. When I joke I use a very distinctive high pitched drawn out no and when I’m serious I drop an octave and it’s very short. I know when there is a time and place for jokes. This woman is just inconsiderate and likes seeing her boyfriend upset

[@elizabethdeal3928]

I think the bf in story 1 is just being lazy. Im possibly autistic and the child my parents thought would never leave home. I get overwhelmed by some multistep tasks if im not guided (slowly getting over that one). I was a real spongebob learning to drive. I can never live fully alone because i have trouble with task initiation/switching and need reminders for some things (which my husband doesnt mind as long as i dont milk it, which story 1 bf is doing). I never was "taught" to cook in the active sense but at 13 i just kind of started to with basic stuff on my own terms. Now i make pretty good meals. I even made eggs benedict once. He can learn to cook. If he can set the time on a microwave, he can make a piece of toast or a frozen waffle and boil noodles.

[@cgamejewels]

there was an autistic commenter who was saying just the opposite of what you said.

[@HoneyBee-oy1hf]

Coming from someone possibly autistic as well and had haunting driver’s anxiety, I feel you so much. But I can still do shit myself. Even if it isn’t perfect, I’m glad you still tried and now can do well for yourself.

[@yolievaldivia-nungaray3765]

Ok we all know that the boyfriend is milking the situation 🙄 he can't use the toaster yet he knows how to get through life. I'm sure he can figure out a smart phone/electronics. She needs to return him to his momma's front door step & leave him there. Ain't no one interested in a man child

[@mydogismoreimportantthanyou]

How tf does one not know how to make toast??? Like you put bread in, you push it down, bread comes out! This reminds me of my cousin who somehow doesn't know how to unload a dishwasher lol

[@michelleikoma2953]

And that is what I told my kids. If the other person is not laughing, STOP

[@deadsetondreams1988]

Are we talking a TOASTER toaster or a toaster oven? XD The toaster oven I could understand him not understanding it, but if it's a regular toaster, that is quite interesting, to say the least...If he is refusing to learn from her then he could have just Googled what to do; you can literally learn how to do EVERYTHING on the internet. If he truly doesn't understand her way of teaching, he could look up someone else that he understands instead of complaining and throwing a tantrum like a toddler. I guess next time, if he won't learn, just buy him a ton of salad kits. Also, the second guy has said he didn't like that numerous times. If someone doesn't respect you enough to stop doing an annoying and inappropriately-timed habit, then they are probably never going to change it. If she doesn't respect you enough to realize how it makes you feel even after you've told her on more than one occasion, she doesn't respect you and isn't listening to you. She made the situation awkward, not you! Cut your losses, and find someone who will actually listen to and respect you. If she loves joking around that much then she can visit a comedy club and date someone there who will joke around with them until the sun comes up. I agree with you about the 3rd situation, it's not her fault, and she doesn't sound like she is a part of their family. You literally said it all! What kind of husband doesn't invite his wife/ want her to be there when everyone else's spouses are there? That seriously makes me wonder why he even married her in the first place. He makes it sound like he settled for the poster or is using her for something...

[@loosilu]

HE doesn't WANTR to learn. He prefers her to bring him all of his food.

[@jisooout3242]

I was just thinking about the first one too! If you don’t know how to cook just search some tutorial on KZbin. You can learn anything on here

[@theonlydrankenjuice]

I'm sorry, A TOASTER is too complicated for him???? 😭

[@Kyutie.]

LMAOOO right? hmm...

[@audreysmit3731]

I'm 10 and I can use a toaster, how can an adult think it's 'too complicated'????? It's literally pressing buttons and taking the stuff out, but the way he talks about it in the story, you'd think it was like driving a rocket.

[@theonlydrankenjuice]

@@audreysmit3731 exactly!! Perhaps his parents just completely neglected him when he was younger, never taught him how to use things in the kitchen therefore he just got really scared to ever even learn how to use a toaster.. Which just makes me sad.

[@valerieb8541]

@@Kyutie. I'm Autistic and couldn't use a toaster until almost 20!!!!! Those of us special needs have a real struggle. Maybe he's autistic or special needs and never diagnosed?!!!! Hate when people judge and just presume we are lazy. His parents should have tried to teach him tho.

[@valerieb8541]

If you have severe autism or special needs then yes its too much for us and that is ok!!!! Hope none of you on here have special needs children or ones in the family. There are things I still can't do, doesn't mean I am lazy. I just take longer to learn or may never learn. Hate when people just judge right away. Shame on this woman for not thinking maybe he needs help! His parents should have had him tested. There is lazy then there is unable to do something.

[@genesisrodriguez879]

I wonder if anyone who’s ever shared their stories watched Kyutie reacting to their story.

[@chaewonsglasses]

man, I already know I'm gonna be feeling bad for half of these guys and women.

[@maria1742]

In the first one, the boyfriend is a grown man?! Why did the girlfriend have to buy him anything in the first place!? If we didn't want to cook he could have just bought the frozen meals by himself?!!!

[@btjhlp]

It's almost 11 pm. I'm eating homemade peanut butter fudge and watching Kyutie. Life is pretty good now, I think. 😊

[@ChickenRamen1]

Homemade peanut butter?

[@btjhlp]

@@ChickenRamen1 Peanut butter FUDGE. 😅

[@skylarrick6509]

I'm also the kind of person to say "no" when asks to do something, but ONLY after I've done it so i don't feel bad about saying it. But the girl in the 2nd story, she's the wrong tbh, she knows how much her "joke" upset her partner yet still do it. I'm feel bad for the Op

[@Angel_Kittichik]

How can someone use a microwave, but not a toaster? I'd think a toaster is even more simple to use than a microwave. Either way, the guy in the first story might be using what's called "weaponized incompetence" and it's exactly what it sounds like.

[@phoenix5719]

Yeah, at first I thought he was on the spectrum, but since he can use microwave and other appliances then why not toaster. He is just too comfortable with his old ways and wants OP to clean up after him like his mom did.

[@kurapikakurta1997]

Person who is more comfortable using a microwave than a toaster here: It’s not a matter of being able to do something. You have less chances of burning yourself on a microwave.

[@Angel_Kittichik]

@@kurapikakurta1997 That is understandable, but OP's spouse complained it was too complex. I assume that means pushing down the lever is the problem somehow.

[@valerieb8541]

I'm autistic and learned to use a microwave way before a toaster. All depends on how your brain works. And maybe only showed him the microwave. I'm so glad my parents started teaching me at a young age. So many won't bother and just feel it's easier to do it themselves. Not everyone can have the capability to cook. Also you have to be taught first. The world isn't made for people like us and so quick to judge. It would be like someone telling me I'm lazy because I'm now paralyzed in a wheelchair. I do as much as I can on my own, but ask for help when needed.

[@valerieb8541]

@@phoenix5719 I'm on the spectrum and couldn't use 1 until I was 20!!!! So very possible he is. I found the microwave way easier to use. To this day I still hate using the toaster and I'm 43. His parents did him no favors by not teaching him or getting him help.

[@Maxismagnificent]

I know I keep commenting this, but I seriously can’t get enough of coco!!! My dog also knows how to make toast and the bf from story one is just a man child.

[@ariannebengil2900]

i used to watch u a lot when i was 9 to 12 but now im 15 and i suddenly remembered u thank u sm for making m laugh when i was a kid ur voice is kind of nostalgic 😭

[@lollipopp5537]

im just as shocked as you on how the first guy doesn't know how to use the toaster😂

[@The_Fairy_Tales_Always_Lie]

"setting the oven temp is too complicated" All you do is turn a damn knob

[@MilanC08]

Practically half way into the video and she's still tripped up about the toaster 💀Ellen is so cute ❤

[@starwarsguy9803]

Ellen your video is what I needed as I’m struggling right now. Yesterday we had to put our eldest dog whom we’d had for 12 years to sleep because she developed an incurable tumor in her heart and it was so full of fluid it swelled to twice it’s normal size as well as fluid in her lungs so I’ve been an emotional wreck. But your video gives me a small bit of relief after the whole shitshow I’ve been going through so thank you so much and keep up the good work.

[@jungwoniz]

To the first guy: How do you not know how to use a damn toaster?!

[@CarlosArturoVelarde]

If the guy can’t use an oven or a toaster or cook scrambled eggs, he shouldn’t be driving. A car is a lot more complicated than any of those things!

[@mythicsb5170]

1st story Does he have a driver's license? Driving is way harder than cooking so if he can drive a car then he can use a toaster!

[@robehouse]

And he could go get his own frozen meals if he drives.

[@spbugs513]

Bro Cocoa is such a mood. She always looks like she is so comfortable T.T Anyways, ilysm and wish both u and Cocoa the best ^^

[@vizelya]

I wasn’t taught how to cook by my mom nor grandma, my grandma was fussy about anyone touching her kitchen and misplacing things hence why I never touched the kitchen at all. I then moved to live with my dad after I graduated university and he taught me how to cook. At first it was very interesting but I came to fear hot oil as it can go pop when you put in something wet or contain water, my dad eventually taught to cook with butter as it pop less. It took me a year to be able to fry my own egg, and I still can’t make stir fries and deep fried food. But at least I know how to cook rice and instant noodles. Extra, my dad told me that my mom didn’t know how to cook either when they first met so he taught her how to. So I guess my dad was the one who taught every female in the family how to cook lmao. Also, my dad cooked the best food!

[@gem4622]

I kinda feel bad for the guy in the first story his whole childhood he wasn’t taught how to do anything in the kitchen. I don’t know what the timeframe is but learning new things especially cooking is really hard of course it isn’t the girlfriends job to teach him but still I feel really bad for him.

[@hannahlatham9208]

I agree. Even after a couple years I still struggle with basic cooking tasks. Like setting the oven or cutting veggies. He hasn't cooked his whole life so he's not used to thinking about how to cook. It's like math, sometimes it goes in one ear and out the other. I don't think it's right to say "how can you not possibly know how to cook" when we aren't HIM. And know HIS backstory...

[@arleneclark6369]

I get not knowing how to cook, or even having trouble with the stove/oven, but the toaster?? I mean u put it in the slots and push down, that is neither hard nor complicated.

[@gem4622]

@@arleneclark6369 everyone works differently and although I agree that not knowing how to use a toaster is a bit much I don’t think we have enough context to know if he’s actually not trying or if he genuinely doesn’t know how to.

[@kurapikakurta1997]

@@arleneclark6369 someone with the toaster problem here, it’s not about whether someone can use it or not. You have less chances of being burned on a microwave.

[@arleneclark6369]

@@kurapikakurta1997 Yeah I get that, but he wasn't complaining that the microwave was safer , he was saying the toaster was too complicated, which I can't understand, if u can figure out how to use a microwave, u should be able to figure out a toaster. So in this case it is about someone being able to use it or not.

[@jisooout3242]

I would be pissed off if I was the wife in the last story. You’re telling me your mom, dad, brothers, brother’s spouses, and you go on an annual vacation without me and the one time I join to get to know y’all you start shit talking me? I’m packing my bags. The fact that she cooked and babysat the kids too is atrocious… he made it seem like she was overreacting because “the family is gonna warm up” to her eventually, totally skimming over the part where he talked shit about his wife too and didn’t even defend her. If my husband was in the wrong and tried to make me feel bad about it idk. I would be furious.

[@bleh1368]

The first story is an example of weaponized incompetence. Basically, when someone doesn’t want to do something they will pretend to not understand it or they’ll do it so poorly that those around them will either decide it’s not worth the work to teach them or will keep on ‘helping’ them (doing it for them). Weaponized incompetence is very common and malicious compliance is kind of an offshoot of it.

[@PhantomMagician1846]

The 1st one .... No excuse, the bf can learn from KZbin or cooking blogs also he could invest in a cook book.

[@Kiw1_Kat]

I also had an extremely hard time grasping how to cook. It took me FOREVER just to make even man n cheese correctly. But he doesnt even try, which is why he is having a hard time learning. I tried over, and over, and over until I got it right. Dude is just lazy

[@frodoamadeusgobel9749]

The last story: run Girl!

[@wissalerrafi8354]

I’ve been looking for you for soooo long!! You were a huge part of my pre-teen era. I’m so glad the algorithm recommended you again

[@jessiehuysman7955]

If he was starving so badly why didn't he go buy his frozen meals? Or can he also not handle a grocery store?

[@justanotheridiot0]

the second one, i do the same thing with my younger sister, but she finds it funny, and we know each other's boundaries enough to know not to do it in a serious scenario, or when the other is clearly uncomfortable with it, so op is totally right for feeling mad

[@princessofhell4639]

I just think for the first story we need to be careful not to come across as ableist. Not everyone has the same ability. There are many valid reasons one may struggle with seemingly simple tasks. That being said, without knowing these people personally we have no way to make a firm judgement on whether or not he is capable of cooking or not. Edit: That being said, I think there's little to no reason he can be upset at her for it as she *seems* to have good intentions unless he really is that physically or mentally disabled it is a real issue for him then I can understand his upset. This is all coming from a mentally disabled person who struggles with simple tasks (yes - even using a toaster sometimes) and knows that it really does hurt to see people mocking it and especially comparing it to how even "animals and babies could do it".

[@MadamStrawberryrose]

But the narrator or boyfriend didn't say he had a disability

[@hannahlatham9208]

Even if he doesn't have a disability, anyone can struggle with something as complicated as cooking. So I can feel for this guy, because a few months isn't enough time for someone to learn how to cook a couple meals...

[@hannahlatham9208]

@@MadamStrawberryrose If he did have a disability, either the narrator didn't mention it or it's not apparent or diagnosed yet.

[@Jacob-he3sn]

Although I suppose it is possible that he is disabled somehow and the OP didn’t mention it, I highly doubt it. First, the boyfriend claimed that he was left to starve, but also said he had sandwiches, canned stuff, and etc., so he seems to be dramatizing this. He also said that he cut himself and couldn’t cut anymore until he healed, but why? Was it so bad that he had to get stitches? Or was he perhaps looking for an excuse? It depends on how big the cut was overall. From my understanding, I think the boyfriend is just trying to get the OP to cook. That or the OP left out some important info, purposefully or not.

[@MadamStrawberryrose]

@@hannahlatham9208 I totally understand where you're coming from but I think the guy was being way too dramatic over which is why I think he is in the wrong

[@spookymoo5832]

Man I really am cynical, but: #1 Breakup, you're his partner not his mum and he wants a mum. #2 Breakup, that was so insensitive and the imbalance is only going to get worse. #3 Divorce, if he talks like that about you like that when you're in hearing range how bad must it be when you're not?

[@johnpexton3614]

One factor in the first story is she may not be a good teacher if he’s not grasping what she is trying to teach. If she is constantly getting frustrated while teaching and making it that much harder for him to grasp then he’s not going to learn. Another thing we don’t know if she’s ever taken him to the store with her. We are only hearing one side of the story and it sounds like she doesn’t try teaching him in a calm way and is probably terrifying him to want to learn to cook. I think he needs to find an outside source to learn to cook like a school or something. Someone who could make learning fun and not stressful

[@MusketeerGweneth]

I could use a toaster and microwave at age five and not only do I have learning difficulties but also hearing impairment and I'm a visual learner and I understood the "Complicated technology" at that young age. At the same time, no matter how many times I was shown, I "didn't know how" to clean up my room and mom would end up doing it or live life stepping on my toys whenever she came to wake me up every morning for school.

[@Jiyu_Starfam]

as soon as i entered youtube you upload! i'm so excited to see this video! love you!

[@michelleikoma2953]

Cooking, cleaning and laundry are life skills and not teaching ALL your children his like child abuse.

[@Ella.Bella_Mae]

me using toaster ovens knifes microwaves at age 8 hun i made chicken porkchops everything my parents just helped me with the oven cuz i couldnt reack the above knobs

[@gamergirlmimi263]

These poor people 🤍😂

[@Cielaret]

Kyutie raging over someone not knowing how to use a toaster for 6 minutes straight

[@kristalparsons5473]

'When in doubt, read the directions!' Ever heard of a cookbook? He just doesn't want to DO it.

[@js8303]

The best part of my day has begun

[@Jiyu_Starfam]

yes!!!!

[@Kyutie.]

ahhh

[@tikkilover4890]

Yessssss 🥰

[@undead_gamer9977]

We dont have enough info in my opinion on the first story to figure out who's right or wrong the boyfriend can very easily have something mentally wrong with him so its hard for him to learn these things but at the same time he could very easily just be lazy and refuses to learn how to cook but either way I think its his parents fault for not teaching him how to act and how to take care of himself because when I was younger I asked my mom to teach me the basics of cooking and how to do my own laundry at 11 years old and now I'm almost 16 can cook the basic things and I know how to bake a few things and I love doing my own laundry its my favorite chore so its not that hard to teach a boy to do these things because I do it every other day and I'm pretty decent at it too because I always cook meals for my family and they love my cooking and I love cooking for them I know that I'm NP where near being a great cook and there's many things I can learn but its not that hard to figure out especially when someone who knows what they're doing shows you how to do it step by step multiple times

[@undead_gamer9977]

Lol I meant to mention that I have mental health issues and thats way I talked about me sorry

[@Amberlily9207]

The first story can’t be real… like no one can be that helpless

[@nikoaugustine5415]

(Response to story 1) If this was my boyfriend then I’d just break up with him. I mean, cooking is a skill EVERYONE should know and if he’s going to be such a fucking brat about it then I just wouldn’t be his SO anymore. Stuff like this makes me so irrationally angry and I have anger issues so most of my anger is pretty irrational in general but still

[@Silverraine1]

I have often joked with my parents about saying no to small things like switching off lights/tv or fetching water, I leave the room but then I always immediately turn back around to do it. Now I feel a bit awkward😅 I would especially never do any such thing if there were guests around. That girl was really an idiot for doing it on her engagement day!

[@cirrocirrus]

the first dude, when they mentioned that they couldn't cook eggs I literally yelled "EGGS? I LEARNED THAT WHEN I WAS N I N E"

[@supertuber120]

Story #3 was confusing. Seems like he doesn't really like being around her. Why would you marry someone if you don't like being around them? And even though he didn't want her there he got mad when she went home. There were so many things in that one that didn't make sense.

[@zerozeronine6089]

I MISS YOU SO MUCH KYUTIEEEEEEEE I HAVEN’T BEEN ABLE TO WATCH YOUR VIDS FOR A LONG TIME BECAUSE OF SCHOOL

[@onedirecton20]

It’s because he wasn’t taught how to do those things as child so now he’s an adult he feels like he has to relay on his girlfriend to take care of him

[@michelleikoma2953]

Boyfriend is just wanting her to replace his mummy. I say tell him to move back home and say goodbye because it will get worse and could become abusive. Ridiculous.

[@Jiyu_Starfam]

kyutie you are amazing! i hope you're doing well! ☺️

[@jeanproctor3663]

The holiday one, I would be seeing a divorce lawyer. Their treatment of OP is totally disgusting and what MiL said is awful. Vile, vile people. They will get no better. And then he goes off at her when he gets back? No. Totally NO. She doesn't deserve this treatment!

[@tacobell1299]

That last story... Girl get divorce like wtf???

[@NinetyLegos]

Story 1: That sounds a lot like my Grandpa, except that was very normal when Grandma and Grandpa got married plus he had/has 4-5 sisters

[@fluffykitten992]

My grandfather was the same way my grandmother did everything he didn’t know how to use a microwave or a coffee maker and you could show someone how to use a toaster in 5 seconds lol

[@Kno_Buddy]

I was never taught to cook as a kid, I just did and I was good at it. I have cooked and cleaned for my house since I was 7 and I’m almost 32 now. I even graduated with honors from culinary school. My brother and sister are like the guy from the story though, except they don’t clean or anything either.

[@Musicalsfangirl]

It may sound mean, but I would get back at the incompetent boyfriend. I would find a child who was like 5 or 6 or 7 (family members kid or a neighbour or something) and then say to them, do you know what to do with the toaster? And get them to demonstrate, all while the boyfriend watches and make him feel stupid. I’ve seen 2 YEAR OLDS play with a TOY toaster, and EVEN they know you put the bread inside the top and pop it out after. The dude needs a big dose of reality here. No-one likes a man child for a partner.

[@shadowboxer1]

0:10: Me personally, I figured out a toaster when I was around six or seven. It's not rocket science. I get that not everyone can be Gordon Ramsay, but everyone should learn the basics in case, y'know, they're living on their own or something. Which begs the question: Can this guy even operate a microwave? (BTW Ellen, we paitiently await the video where you teach Coco how to operate a toaster.) 6:06: I admit, I do this on occasion, but only in jest, but I would never do this in this situation. It's too major a moment for jokes. 9:35: Clearly this man doesn't value his wife enough to take her to see his family. Why even bother marrying her when you're apparently embarrassed to have her around? Maybe she is pushy, but she deserves better than this.

[@irelandfromattilio4505]

I didn't even need someone to show me how to use a toaster. I was five and I figured it out, even found out how to cook toast twice to get it as crispy as I wanted (we had a simple, non-adjustable toaster, but I figured out the adjustable one we got when I was nine just as quickly.) Like, I had it mastered within a week. "Toaster is too complicated" WHAT

[@ashlismith8596]

Don't know how to use a toaster?🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 OMG I'm gone💀💀💀💀

[@npfxproductions3765]

I don't know how to use one, my parents never bought one for our house

[@Gross_dreams]

for the first one i agree with @Phoenix Raven because when she kept saying how you dont know how to use a toaster all i thought was he might have neglectful parents and shit like that and i find it oddly hard for me to learn basic shit like that so its really understandable

[@klee_.fangirl]

If my dog knew how to use a toaster and make toast, he would be extremely chunky.

[@lovelia69]

coco is so cute! i love your videos ellen!

[@littlered8060]

In the oldest days men knew how to hunt and cook and fix things they learned survival so no these men these days are only hurting themselves they are conforming to a child nothing more

[@Shadowcat107]

Saying no for everything even if the guy you're dating for years proposes it's not funny it's the most important question of your life. Well I also like to say no a lot but not as a joke and irritate my boyfriend. I never met a girl or boy that likes to say no to everything. I would dump he's sorry loser. I also never had a boyfriend that doesn't know how to cook and he has his tantrums. He's also saying I'm not taking good care of him. If the girls in my boyfriend's family only did the chores and cooking I wouldn't like to date him further. Then that leaves me doing all the cleaning and cooking while my boyfriend is happily enjoying himself whatever his doing.

[@EmberMoon5585]

I learned how to use a toaster at 5 years old just by watching my parents use the toaster.

[@Kiwi_Cat-mv6sp]

i love your hair sm

[@guanabana2007]

I would break up with him imagine having children and you pass away and he can't even use a toaster?

[@evelynesophiaa5444]

The vacation: so, I think she should've acted normal and went along with the vacation instead of going back home, and then she should confront her husband 1 on 1, get an explanation about everything. The from then decide if u should get a divorce or work with your husband to earn his family's favor depending on the explanation.

[@isekaibunny]

1st story the guy is using weaponized incompetence

[@Cashhh4]

8:35 yes Ellen. I don’t know how to use a toaster. I don’t ever eat toasted bread 😭😭 rn I don’t even own one

[@dulainey9453]

We have a ninja foodie thing, my husband has to give me instructions on how to use it every time, even for the same meals. I have dyslexia and being in the kitchen at all is very overwhelming. Maybe he has the same issue

[@Jiyu_Starfam]

the first story omg 😂😅

[@amyrivers4093]

If it was that bad why didn't he go and buy his own freezer meals if it was that bad. He was lazy and didn't want to show his wife that he was capable to make toast, use an oven etc so that she had to continue to cook everything for him. He is lazy and arrogant and she is a fool if she stays with him as he is manipulating her.

[@betsysanders4524]

When she called back saying it was a joke & I knew she always did it. Come back & forgive me. Ummm NO!

[@evieluvon5965]

I mean....he has internet access right? 😅 so even if he was to embarrassed to tell his girlfriend he didn't understand the explanation on how to cook then he could've just googled how to do it online Like c'mon if there's a will there's a way

[@Fmpenda]

So what have we learnt from this story? Don't date ppl who can't use toasters 😅 But really this Is the first time I'm wacthing Kyutie's videos and I really enjoyed it 😁

[@d41sy]

im late to realising but i love the new bg :)

[@amethysbrown2560]

Early 🥰🥰 just refresh and seen you post!! You make my day

[@solargomez2490]

I'm just in time I had a huge migraine earlier today. I just woke up