Perimenopause, ADHD and Womens Health - Don't Call it A Podcast Episode 2 with

Another week, another episode of our new podcast that isn't a podcast. This weeks topic was so interesting that I actually watched the whole thing back while I was pulling pieces for instagram highlights and really want to revisit this once we have your comments. Perimenopause, ADHD and Women's health in general is definitely something that isn't getting enough of a push from the NHS (stretched as they are) and the more of us talking about it, the less alone we each feel in our individual struggle to be heard and (if needed) treated.
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[@mariannetuite7411]

Very much relate to Emma here. My symptoms started during the pandemic and I’ve always been a bigger girl. Even though I’m disabled I’ve had very minimal issues related to that before being “diagnosed” with PM. Since diagnosis I’ve been told to lose weight for everything from streaming/dry eyes to the itchiness to the mood swings. Also in a similar situation re the no kids thing. It’s definitely a grieving process. This was cathartic and I appreciate you both. Thanks ladies ❤

[@mariannetuite7411]

I have a few friends with Ehlers Danlos, you definitely don’t exhibit symptoms I’ve seen of it, other than maybe the tiredness and digestive issues. But they could just as easily be a million other things. That seems a big one for people to jump to Every symptom I have these days gets put down to PM, but I’m always careful to say to others with similar symptoms that my experience was this, but every woman is completely different because hormones are a total 💩 show

[@emmamongey675]

Keep going girls...loving this. Def talk about ozempic and anything else you fancy. Love to you both💜💜

[@tray2811]

Khila - another way to look at it, if you are paying to see private you’re allowing someone who cannot afford private healthcare to get higher up on the list

[@MissBudgetBeauty]

Yes, someone else commented that they are making healthcare a two tier system and that reframed it the same way.. by paying to see a doctor, I’m freeing an nhs space

[@lizevans257]

Thoroughly enjoying these podcasts Emma and Khila it’s like sitting down with a couple of mates 😊you both speak so much sense xxx ❤

[@MascaraJunkie23]

Loved this 🙌 “we want more“ 😅

[@lunamoonbaby4865]

Currently in the middle of my 3rd docs appointment, waiting on yet another blood test to try and 'evidence' my PM, despite a whole suite of symptoms. Antidepressants have been increased in the meantime. I'm the same age as you, Emma, and started about the same time. I've also not had children, and that lays heavy. Khila, I have EDS, if you have any questions.

[@nancyanderson2939]

Thanks for being so open Emma 💛

[@itsemchannel]

❤❤❤

[@lisachild6098]

You two are very good on this podcast - hope you can keep them going.

[@EmziLou]

I related to so much of this I could write an essay 😂 I am perimenopausal and on HRT. I weighed up the risks vs the benefits and decided that I would rather feel like myself for as long as possible than worry about small increased risks. It also protects against heart disease and osteoporosis. I am pretty sure I am undiagnosed neurodivergent. I paid for my daughter to be diagnosed privately as she is autistic and was really struggling in school. I think that the chronic underfunding of the NHS is creating a two tier system where those that can pay do and those that can’t have to wait. You’re right it does feel icky as I would hate for our healthcare system to turn into something like they have in the USA but I did not want my child to suffer without support. I think that you are also right about not being taken seriously as a women when you go to see the doctor. Everything is put down to either my weight or my anxiety. I have been struggling with symptoms since I was 38 and didn’t get diagnosed as perimenopausal last year at the age of 43! Oops I did write an essay 😂 Really enjoying the podcast! ❤

[@lindat6513]

Loving this podcast ladies! I relate to both of you for different reasons. I suffer from several pain conditions, which all affect my mobility. I have always struggled with my weight and now apparently my weight is the biggest problem! I saw a pain specialist and I can have pain killing injections when I lose weight 😳 Khila go private! My spine issues started when I was 25 I am now 59 I can barely walk, if I had had treatment earlier and hadn't been gaslit by many doctors over the years things may have turned out differently.

[@michellej5517]

You’re completely right in that women have been ghosted for years by the medical profession not only personally but even as mothers. How many stories are there of mother’s worries being dismissed by doctors only for their worries to be proven. My daughter was blue lighted to hospital and diagnosed with pneumonia and a partially collapsed lung, I ‘d phoned 111 after being dismissed by the GP and told to come back in a week if she still wasn’t better…I will always trust my own instincts.

[@kkbrowne9127]

This is so interesting your topics especially this one I'm 46 and I have Rheumatoid arthritis on the depo injection I don't know if I'm going through menopause 😂I'm going with the flow with life. I'm a school nurse I must check whether there's a policy in place. I'm really enjoying your not so podcast 😊 keep it coming

[@mariannetuite7411]

Khila, I totally understand why you feel the ick about going private, but as Emma said, if you’ve got the opportunity and it could relieve either physical pain or emotional strain, go for it. I’d happily go private but insurers generally won’t cover anything that can remotely be related to my disability it’s not worth it for me

[@traceyholland529]

I’m the same as Emma I couldn’t have children and when I started the menopause it was like well that’s it. It’s a horrible feeling. On top of that I lost all my hair too.

[@509anna]

Loved this, but KZbin added so many adverts this time (they didn’t on the first one!)

[@MissBudgetBeauty]

Each viewer is served ads on each video at random. So you could watch the first again and get more ads at a different time of the month/week. Closer to payday you will see more ads, over the weekend and certain times of year you will see more too.

[@tray2811]

Emma - you’ll want to see an endocrinologist- they deal with hormonal issues including menopause!!

[@haileycooper6252]

It's taken my son who's now 9yrs old 3yrs to get a diagnosis of adhd via NHS. We had to jump through so many hoops and do so many courses then they did a blood test and the results of that are what diagnosed him. You don't really get health visitors for long now. They do a few baby checks when baby reaches certain ages but that's it now x

[@MissBudgetBeauty]

Yeah I barely remember healthcare visits with milo. Also shocking it took 3 years for your son!

[@mariabenedita]

Amazing podcast. It's really important people speak about this topic . Most people are not educated in this matter. Heaven people who are supposed to be like doctors and nurses . People have to advocate for himself. In 2018, I was feeling sick and bloting , I went several times to my family doctor. She never considered my sintoms. She said I was going on menopause, which wasn't the case, I knew something was wrong. I was back and forwarded until 2020, I went to see another doctor . I was sick with câncer. It wasn't menopause or depressed as they wanted to diagnose .

[@JasenomadeTV]

Great topics, perimenopause, what suprised me is the extreme anxiety x

[@MissBudgetBeauty]

Oooh! Something else to look forward to 😂

[@amandasanderson9221]

Fantastic, girls loved every minute xx

[@RebeccaMaria77]

Loved that! Looking forward to more. 👍😊

[@zoeburcher8901]

Brilliant u two r brilliant!!! I'm 46 and have had symptoms since 42 had blood tests last May and showed I was peri menopause like every women in this process I've never felt so low!! I think it all started in lockdown at the end of 2021 my teeth became loose and started aching especially my legs and lower body then at the end of 2022 beginning of 2023 I had lump come up on my achilles went to Dr's and they basically shut me up and said get on with it, roll on to now I'm on HRT which has helped abit the hot sweats have gone but I've now had to give my job up as ive chronic tendinopathy and can hardly walk!!! Very angry but no one seems to listen at all makes me feel like I'm making it up x pls keep this don't call it a podcast up xxx

[@mariannetuite7411]

I am a wheelchair user anyway, but developed a severe knee injury 6 months after the start of my perimenopause symptoms. Two and a half years later I’m still in daily pain, with what mobility I did have severely reduced because I can’t have an MRI to help with a definitive treatment plan for it. I spoke to both my GP and specialist saying that I thought the two things were linked and basically got laughed out of the room each time. Nothing they recommend to me helps, I’ve basically just had to adapt as best I can. I hope you find some eventual relief

[@zoeburcher8901]

@mariannetuite7411 it's an impossible situation I've had over 4 appointments with Dr's and one where I actually went to our local hospital and the actual nurse looking after me was just interested in asking me about his love life and how his wife annoys him eventually he bought in another nurse she then told me it wasn't tendonitis but if I wanted too I could put the leg in plaster for 6 wks !!! I just came home after that they sent a letter to my gp for an appointment on the Monday so went to that and the bladdy dr had me doing all these things with my ankle told me it's not tendonitis but signed me off work and put me of naproxin as I was going home I had a txt from this Dr given me all information on tendonitis when she told me point blank it wasn't so then 3 months later I really thought about it and the bloodtests I had earlier showing I had started perimenopause I went back to the Dr's thinking if I got on HRT it may help with the aches and pains 6 months on hrt all my sweats and feeling low has gone but my legs are still aching I've still got a lump and it's not going away so in March I went back to Dr and this time he's referred me to musceketal specialist which I saw on Tuesday and its now turned to chronic tendinopathy and she told me it's because I lost oestrogen and muscle mass due to peri menopause after all that I got the answers I needed I can't work for 3 months now waiting podiatry referral and as I was a cleaner I will probably never be able to work in that sector again, the pain is excruciating and I can hardly walk to the postbox at the end of my road I've got to stay of steroids as ive got to feel the pain with the exercises I'm doing but steroids apparently mask the pain and could make it worse I've managed to get myself on ESA and re think what work I can do also been offered pip I feel drained the fact that these ppl should realise peri menopause is real and to stop saying its in our heads never have I felt so low from being fit and healthy to not being able to walk without pain x sorry I've gone on mariannetuite and I really do hope u get the help u need xxx

[@stormy_sands]

I had no follow up after my hysterectomy, not one appointment. Don't lift or hoover was what I was told. I will say say that I couldn't get out of beds for weeks, the recovery is tough going. Literally, your insides have to readjust and find a new place to live. Add in, surgical menopause it was horrendous!

[@MissBudgetBeauty]

That’s terrible!!

[@vitag277]

❤❤❤❤❤❤

[@jo6159]

Completely agree with you both re not enough support / people to talk too. Despite being referred to a top specialist who had done papers on the subject, I was told in a very matter of fact way at 31 years old "sorry but you have the premature ovarian failure (early menopause). you won't be able to have kids. Here's a link to a website to look at" - No joke, thats how it went and I was left speechless. While i wasn't sure if I ever wanted kids, I still experienced grief (which i dealt with privately). Its been 10 years since that diagnosis and I must of had two follow ups and told to take calcium and continue with the pill. Im only now going onto HRT because I asked for it (so far, so good). As for the menopause policy, my old work had one but didn't even know what to do with it which i found hilarious

[@tray2811]

Yeah put some dates together and Lee and Chris can do a countdown….😂

[@jowickens7017]

I feel that if you have the means then it's absolutely fine to go privately to get a diagnosis for a medical condition. In the case of Mikhali with the back and neck issues I definitely feel you should go private and get a diagnostis, especially as you've had the pain for so long. I think everyone should be able to go private if they need to without feeling guilty for doing so. I also feel that going private for a diagnosis of ADHD is almost a must because of the long waiting list. It is affecting your mental health and that is something you should always take seriously in this situation. I feel a diagnosis of ADHD, or not, will greatly improve your mental health because it will answer that query that you've had for so long. Don't feel any guilt for doing what's right for you, if you have the means. I think everyone will be very interested in the outcome and it could definitely be helpful to those who have the same symptoms. Also going to see a Menopause specialist is such a good idea. This will improve Em's mental health just by having a person to talk to about the symptoms and see what could be done to relieve the awful symptoms of pre menopause or full menopause. I just wish there had been a Specialist when I was having the same symptoms. I think your " this is not a pod cast" is a wonderful format for real issues that women can relate to. Well done both of you. Sorry for the long comment 😅.

[@becciglaze4205]

It's actually up to 7 years for an Adult ADHD assessment on the NHS. The 4 years is for children. I mean 4 years is ridiculous but yeah, 7 years 😢 And it's literally nobody's business if you go private or not, so if you don't want to have the discussion just don't tell them 😅 x

[@nadiab386]

I wanted to mention a while ago when I said you might be going through perimenopause after your vlog is that it might almost be a denial I know when I started going through mine, it was like end of my fertility and I am very lucky and I have two children so I can’t imagine what it feels like for you and I think it might be the same for taking HRT messing with hormones in case you may still get pregnant and completely understandable . I even thought that myself before I started on them. Big hugs to you, it’s a very difficult thing for someone to go through even without fertility issues. And I pray that you and Chris will be blessed with a child. Even if you’re adopt in the end as I can tell you both be wonderful parents❤ xx

[@MariaSwift-lo1ce]

Hey! Mikhila are you going through Right To Choose for your ADHD diagnosis? I will be and I checked on the ADHD UK website recently and some of the waiting lists are just 12 weeks for a diagnosis. If you Google adhd right to choose, it will come up….sending you love from a fellow late thirties adhd-er! I’m also based in Sheffield so if I hear of anything helpful event or support wise locally, I’ll let you know!

[@MissBudgetBeauty]

When last I looked, right to choose said they’d been overwhelmed and were no longer taking nhs referrals. That’s what I went in with to the 2nd gp.. I wanted to go that way but he referred me on the nhs

[@MariaSwift-lo1ce]

@@MissBudgetBeauty there are a few providers on there now who have 12 week waiting times and it has been updated for April 24 - it looks like more providers are getting on board!

[@mrsmongooseable]

Oh and on the private debate … I was told that an nhs diagnosis holds more weight to it and also you have to pay for private prescriptions each time for adhd meds if you choose to go down that route. Not sure if this is utter BS but a doctor told me so I believed him ha ha. I am paying for my young adult daughter to have private autism assessment however as I just can’t stand to see where it’s doing to her being undiagnosed any longer. It’s like for myself I can kind of suck it up but it’s so much harder seeing someone else you care about suffer when you have the means to stop it. Looking forward to the next one! Xx

[@MissBudgetBeauty]

This is what frustrates me! Because is it legitimate or is it not? The ADHD med cost is bananas! You have to stay on the private hamster wheel til you’ve finished titration and you’re on consistent meds… at which point you have to hope your GP will take over your care but that could be thousands of pounds in. I’m going to do one more year on the wait list but then I may do it

[@SarahE1811]

I’m on orlistat prescribed by my doctor to help me shift some weight and it’s working … I fee weird talking about as I feel like I’m cheating but I should be happy that it’s finally coming off me ….. please do a weight loss episode 😬👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽 I’m also 44 and feel like I have some symptoms for perimenopause , Brain fog, forgetfulness and defo some itching and hit moments I still have regular periods so don’t feel like I can go to my docs about it but I would love some advise of some vitamins I could start taking maybe?

[@mariannetuite7411]

I would say go to the dr. I’m 44 next month, was diagnosed with perimenopause in late 2020. I had a really irregular cycle for most of my life, one of the biggest things I noticed in changes was that my periods became longer and more regular. Moral of the story is that it can go both ways, not just disappear or be irregular

[@MissBudgetBeauty]

I don’t think cheating is a thing, personally. Some people have a much harder time with weight loss than others so why not take advantage of help that is designed for that purpose?

[@lins20121]

I hate that we have no choice but to put our trust in the doctors and nurses wheb most just could not care less or are incompetent it's scary

[@tray2811]

Lol I saw the end and I don’t think it was that divisive 😂

[@MissBudgetBeauty]

Oh this isn’t the one 😂

[@lauraburkhill3599]

😂❤👍🖐